Had my put my cat of 15 years down this morning so please enjoy my coping mechanism of writing till my fingers cramp, with my tears making it hard for me to see.
Sorry if there are any mistakes, don't really have the energy to proofread at the moment. Hope you enjoy :')
Ghost had always lived in San Francisco, it's his home. He loved it there.
Leaving had been hard for so many reasons, but he had too.
Falling in love with someone who didn't even consider you an option in the romance department, sticking you in the friend category permanently, is something that can destroy anyone.
Ghost decision to go to London had been an easy one, since he had an aunt there. One of the only family he still talks to. She welcomed him with open arms and a shoulder to cry on when he started missing home, and Wrench.
The months leading up to him leaving had been heartbreaking and he knew it was for the best. Zane had made his life miserable, since everyone but Wrench could see the feelings Ghost had for the Hacker. Zane had shoved it in his face that he would never have Wrench, that he had him.
He had, unfortunately, taken to drinking to numb some of the feelings, even scaring people with the reality of the problem when he ended up in the hospital nearly dead. He had been in a coma for seven weeks and when he woke up, his aunt refused to talk to him.
He got clean, got his aunt to trust him again, got back into hacking and starting his own group of hackers. No one knew him as Ghost though, not even Aunt Beni, so he changed from Ghost to Feros, and the members of his group called themselves AnonMice. They wore complete white masks with black eyeholes and badly drawn on whiskers. A joke mask that took on the role of identification for them. Ghost had worn a black mask back in San Francisco, no screens, no marks, just a black mask.
Feros' mask is shaped like a wolf with symmetrical ridges and a short muzzle, each ridge has a LED light that shifted colors, but each smooth part is a screen that work together so the mask works like a screen. The eye holes are just black glass so no one could see his eyes, but he could see clearly from his end. They also had small clear screens so when he looks at something or someone, it gives information on it/them.
He built up the group but kept it relatively small, even building a small food stall to occupy his time outside the mask. He built a new life in London.
That's why Josh, the only one he kept in contact with all these years, had warned him about Wrench coming to London on some revenge mission against Rempart. He kept his head down, telling the group to stay silent for a while, not to draw attention. It had worked. Wrench got his revenge on Rempart. The others had come to London to get Wrench and bring him back to San Fran. Josh had been the only one who knew about Ghost's whereabouts.
Somehow, a fight happened between Sitara and Wrench, where she proceeded to tell Wrench all about Ghost's feelings for him.
Why she brought him into it, he'll never know.
But then Wrench and Markus had caught Josh texting Ghost, who is still labeled 'Ghost' in his cell and demanded to know everything.
Josh told them, with Ghost's permission, that they had been in contact this whole time and that Ghost is here in London, just under a different name.
Wrench is now refusing to leave London till he talks to him, which Ghost hated that he is actually considering it.
He apparently had taken too long when he found Wrench trying to break into his systems.
"Seriously?" Ghost mumbled in amusement, and mild annoyance, that Wrench is trying so hard to get into his system and being obnoxious about it. "You're not even trying to get in, are you? You're just trying to annoy me enough to answer. Asshole."
He watched for a good hour and thirty minutes as his Hackers responded to every attempt and blocked him.
He finally grew tired of the relentless attempts and told his hackers to go back to work, then led Wrench right to him. The video feed turned on almost instantly, Wrench's mask showing up close to the screen, the mask lighting up when his own Masked face showed to the man.
"Ghost? Is that you?" A knot suddenly formed in his throat, feelings rushing back at the sound of the familiar voice, his heart speeding up.
He tried to say something, anything, but couldn't. It has been close to 8 years since he had seen that mask, heard that voice.
And it still has the same effect on him.
He just gave a nod, short and tense.
He heard Wrench give a sigh of relief and then watched Wrench reach up and take his mask off, never hesitating in his trust in him. The face he only seen a hand full of times had ages, changed, but still held that same charm that he loves, even the same baby blue eyes.
"I've missed you Ghost, so fucking much."
Ghost tensed more, leaning back in his chair and looking away from the happy expression on Wrench's face. Or rather, Reggie's face.
His simple actions made the happiness wipe from Reggie's face, a look of concern replacing it.
"How have you been? Josh said you made your own hacker's group and live in an underground cave filled with rats?"
"That asshole." Ghost said, instantly being annoyed at Josh saying random shit again. The new voice mod he uses is different than his old one, a deeper mechanical sounding one. It matched his new voice really, since ending up in a coma from aggressive drinking had damaged his vocal cords.
His new voice held a rasp to it now, which didn't show on the mod, but it had definitely changed.
Wrench seemed happy that Ghost had said something, even if it's to insult Josh.
"So, no rats?" Wrench asked, trying to keep the mood light and trying to not scare him off.
"There are no rats in my house. Except Rory, who is a pet rat." Ghost said glancing back at the large cage out of Wrench's view then back.
"You used to say you wanted a rat as a pet. Do you have any other pets?"
Ghost felt annoyance build at the light conversation.
"You didn't spend an hour and a half trying to get my attention to talk about rats. Why do you want to talk to me?" Ghost asked crossing his arms, trying his best not to shut the video chat off.
"Because you're my best friend..." Wrench mumbled with a miserable expression filling his face, annoyance spiking in Ghost.
"Am I? Because the last year before I left, you barely talked to me. You stood me up on multiple occasions, you left me standing in the fucking rain for three hours the last time we spoke. If we were best friends, then Id like to know why you treated other people with more thought than you did me."
Ghost's words cut deep; he could see that clear on Wrench's face, but he didn't take them back. They needed to be said.
"You acted like I barely existed when you met Zane. I stepped back, because I knew you were…in love, but you completely just disregarded me. You threw our friendship away. I tried to keep it going, I tried to be there simply as a friend, but you couldn't even give me the time of day. Then you left me standing in the rain on my birthday, a day you planned for us since it had been seven months since we last hung out at that point. How can you sit there and say we were best friends?" Ghost vented heatedly, then got up and walked away from the computer in frustration, his hands ripping his mask off once he was out of view and ran a hand through his messy brown hair.
"I'm sorry…"
The words stung. He had never let himself get in the way of Wrench's happiness because he knew he had never been an option for him. Wrench never saw him as anything but a friend, a best friend. Nothing more.
All the pain he felt when he first came to London resurfaced and he let a couple tears run down his face before he wiped them away. He gently put the mask back on and walked back to the computer, trying to ignore the tears on Wrench's face.
"I have to go." Ghost said quietly, sitting down roughly and typing on his keyboard to cut the video call but stopped when Wrench breathed in sharply.
"Wait, please…" Wrench started but stopped, because what could he say?
"There isn't any point in us talking, Wrench." Ghost hesitated in saying that name. "I'm not going to be your friend again; I'm not going to stay back and watch you fall for someone else again. I tried to put your happiness before mine and it nearly killed me, I can't do that again. I can't just go back to the way things used to be, before Zane, before everything. Just get on your flight tomorrow and go home."
The silence is thick, but Wrench gave a silent nod.
Ghost cut the video call, leaning back once he knew Wrench is out of the system and took a shaky breath, his tears falling again.
Once again, the familiar pain filled him and the urge to numb it filled him.
It had been 5 years since he drank, since he had gotten sober. It hurt so much and the bottle of vodka sitting in his closet calls to him, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't hurt the people around him like that again.
He got up and stripped off his clothes on the way to the bathroom, getting in the shower and sitting on the smooth tile, sobs racking his body.
3 months later, Ghost sat on the beach watching the wave and just sitting in silence when his cell rang. He pulled it from his pocket and rose a brow at Josh's name.
"Josh? You never call this early."
"Wrench is back in London. He left yesterday and only just text Markus an hour ago when he landed. We had no idea he was planning to go back."Josh said a bit rushed.
"Why is he here?" Ghost asked worried, tensing up as he pulled his bag over and pulled his laptop out to track the idiot.
"I don't know, he's been acting quiet and withdrawn since he got back. He hasn't spoken to us all that much. Markus is trying to track him and I'm heading to his place to help since I was out shopping."
"I'll see if I can get his location." Ghost said quietly, connecting the call to his mask and putting his cell down, opening his laptop and opening the program he designed to find specific people.
The program picked up Wrench location quickly and it made him freeze.
"Got anything?" Josh asked in his ear, it didn't register at first though as he turned around to see Wrench standing at the top of the stairs looking down at him.
"Yeah, I found him…He's right here. I'll call you back." Ghost hung up the call before Josh could say anything. He shoved his cell and laptop in his bag and stood, hanging his bag from his shoulder and walked to the stairs, looking up at the familiar mask as he stopped at the bottom.
The sky held a pinkish and yellow hue as the sun started coming up, the silence again thick.
"Why are you here? Didn't I tell you to go home?" Ghost asked while looking away from the man, trying to keep his mind from spiraling again.
"…I needed to talk to you."
Ghost rolled his eyes, his mask just black, no lights or anything.
"No you don't. You have the others to talk to, you don't need me." Ghost felt the pain behind his own words, the mod, he thought, hid it well.
"Every time I had my heart broken, or had a bad day, you were always the one I went to. You were the only one who listened and gave the best advice."
"Which you didn't always take."
"You were right about Zane."
"Zane's a bitch."
"I agree."
Ghost sighed and shook his head.
"You need to go back home Wrench, you came here for nothing cause I don't want to-"
"I don't have a home."
He stopped talking and looked up, seeing Wrench's mask is turned off, just blank. "My home before Zane had been a shitty little apartment. With Zane it was his house. Now I have no home. I was crashing Markus' couch the last few months with no idea of what to do. All I could think about was you. Josh told me everything. The feelings, the drinking, the pain I put you through. He also told me about how you never blamed me for any of it."
Ghost gave a sigh, he really needed to smack Josh.
"It's not your fault I fell in love with you."
His words made Wrench feel completely like shit.
"Yeah, well, I'm taking responsibility for the pain. I really had no idea you loved me. Though I should have fucking seen it." Wrench said walking down the stairs, stopping three feet from the other man. Taking in his appearance. Ghost still wore dark hoodies, black jeans, and ratty sneakers. He looked like he had grown, or maybe he never paid enough attention before to notice that Ghost stood his height. Just looked leaner than him.
"You never told me my ideas were stupid. You never let me go long without eating. You cared for me when I got sick, even forcing me to stay in bed when all I wanted to do is tinker with something. You let me rant on for hours about my ideas, about how I wanted to do so much. I never got any of that with Zane. He hated my obsession with making things. He never listened to my ideas. He just tried changing me. You never told me to change."
"Because you're perfect the way you are Reggie, I never saw anything I wanted to change. Well, maybe your energy drink intake I would have changed a little. I'm in love with who you are, not what I could change you into."
His voice is quiet as he spoke, nervous about saying these things, the things he had always wanted to say.
"I never wanted to…" He stopped, turning away slightly as he breathed to calm himself.
"You still love me?" Wrench asked in shock. "After everything, you still love me." The part isn't a question, he realized that despite everything, Ghost had never stopped loving him.
"Why did you come here? Nothing you say is going to make me be friends with you again." Ghost said turning back to the man with anger in his voice.
"I…when I got back from my honeymoon-Wait! Please, listen to me."Wrench said catching Ghost's arm gently, stopping him from leaving at the mention of his honeymoon. "When Josh told me that you left San Fransico, I looked for you. I had no idea where you went, I didn't even know why you left in the first place. I knew I had been a bad friend, so I thought that was the reason you left. Then Zane threatens to divorce me if I didn't stop looking for you. To him, I did stop but I never actually did. Whenever I could, I would look for you. I tried finding you. Josh told me at one point that I needed to stop, that you didn't want anyone to find you. And I knew he was right; I knew I would never find you. You're amazing at hacking, I knew it was easy for you to erase your presence from the web. That you would make it impossible to find you. But I never stopped."
Ghost kept himself facing away from Wrench, trying to stop his heart from racing so much.
"When I got divorced, all I could think about was finding you again. I didn't know why I wanted to see you so bad. At one point I realized why I wanted to see you again, I knew I- "
"Stop." Ghost said in a panic, tensing up and pulling his arm from Wrench's soft grip.
"Okay."
Ghost turned in disbelief that Wrench would just agree to stop talking, to just not say the next words.
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, if you tell me to stop I will. Even if I want to say it so bad. I can't imagine how many times you wanted to say it to me and never gave in, because all you wanted was for me to be happy." Wrench explained, the pain coming clear through the voice mod from his mask.
Ghost took a deep breath, trying to come to terms with his pain and panic.
"Say it." He said, his voice barely a whisper.
Wrench stayed quiet for a moment before he spoke.
"I'm in love with you too Ghost. I'm sorry I took so fucking long to realize it."
Ghost let his tears fall, reaching up and taking his mask off to wipe them away. He didn't stop Wrench from pulling his face up to look at him.
There is a reason he always wore a mask. The ugly scar that laid across his face from where his father had tried to kill him. It started under the outer corner of his right eye on his cheek and went to the bridge of his nose, broke off there then continued on his other cheek for about an inch and half. It had shrunk surprisingly over the years and is silver in appearance now, mostly because he tried everything he could to make it fade.
Wrench took in the face he had always wanted to see and is surprised at how pretty the man is. Thick lashes, deep green eyes, dark freckles dotting his face, decently pouty lips, a rough stubble along his nice jaw line. He could see the grey coming into the stubble and even into the sides of his dark brown hair. It made him a bit sad he never got to see a young Ghost.
But he's fucking Pretty.
"I tried to make it go away." Ghost mumbled, becoming self conscious at Wrench's staring, exhaustion hitting him.
Wrench blinked in confusion before he realized Ghost spoke about the scar on his face.
"Why the hell are you so pretty?"Wrench asked narrowing his eyes at the confusion now on the other man's face, completely disregarding the scar topic for now.
"What? I'm not pretty!"Ghost argued, leaning back in annoyance.
"Yes, you are! Fuck." Wrench reached up and took his own mask off, and letting it fall into the sand. "I want to kiss you. Can I?"
Ghost tensed up, debating if he should but realizing he is already nodding when Wrench stepped closer, a hand pulling him closer.
Their lips met and Ghost relaxed in Wrenches arms which now circled his waist, pushing deeper into the kiss, dropping his mask and wrapping his arms tightly around Wrench's neck.
They pulled back after a couple minutes of heated kissing when Ghost and Wrench's cells went off, ringing loudly.
Ghost pulled back and got his cell out, frowning because he had put it on mute. Josh's face and name sat on the screen, as well as ten notifications of missed calls from him, and roughly forty text messages.
"Really? Messing with my volume?" He mumbled declining the call, he had been about to message Josh when Wrench turned his head and kissed him again. Out of surprise, he dropped his cell but kissed back, pulling Wrench closer by pushing his hand under the black vest he wore and pressed his palm against the middle of his back.
Voices made them pull away again, people coming down to the beach for an early swim.
"Shit." Ghost quickly pulled away and grabbed his mask, shoving it back on his face, his cell quickly going back in his pocket.
Wrench copied his actions but then grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs.
"You know I'm not leave now, right?"Wrench asked, not really caring about Ghost's approval, cause he's staying and making this work.
He's not going to lose Ghost again. Never again.
"I kind of guessed that when you showed up Reggie."
Wrench stopped, turning to look at the mask of his new boyfriend.
"What's your name?"Wrench asked, feeling a bit stupid for having never learnt it.
"…Dante Hopkins."
"Dante, that's a cool name. I'm taking your last name when we get married."
"…What?"Ghost asked shocked then yelped when Wrench started pulling him again.
"You're stuck with me now, I'm never leaving. I love your scar, by the way. It gives your face a certain charm."
"Thanks, I think…Where are we going?"
"Your place."
Ghost raised an eyebrow but followed the man, having missed the energy Wrench gives off. He certainly didn't mind Wrench never leaving but they had so much more talking to do, it's still painful but he knew he would be okay. Wrench always did things wholeheartedly, and he knew it would be no different this time.