Okara entered this event with an overwhelming feeling of dread. Not for anything world threatening or anything like that, but for the… awkwardness that was sure to follow a meeting he wasn't excited for. There was a certain someone that was sure to be there this evening, celebrating the defeat of Cell, that he was not looking forward to running into. Not as if there were any hard feelings, but unresolved ones; questions and desires that hadn't been talked about. It was a conversation he really didn't want to have.

As he walked out onto the back lawn of Capsule Corp, he saw all the usual suspects that he expected to be there. Vegeta was off scowling in a corner while being bothered by everyone's high spirits. Gohan and Chi-Chi were understandably in a somber mood while also trying to keep brave faces for everyone else. Yamcha was pestering Krillin about his baseball career. And before he noticed anyone else, his eyes settled onto the person that has occupied his mind ever since he arrived on earth all those years ago: Bulma Briefs.

Many thoughts raced through his mind as he purposefully avoided her, but no matter where he ended up at or who he was talking to, his vision drifted over to the blue haired scientist that had meant so much to him. Although they weren't on the best of terms right now, he still couldn't stop from having his every waking moment be consumed by his thoughts and feelings for the smartest woman he has ever met.

As he sipped from a can of beer and kept up some small chit chat with Tien Shinhan, he felt a finger tap his shoulder from behind, and the bald martial artist quickly decided to depart from what was sure to become an awkward encounter.

"So, we're just not gonna talk anymore?" She had said as the tall Saiyan lowered his head and turned around. "I understand that you didn't want to give me an answer, but you don't have to be so distant."

Straight to the point. No bullshit. It's one of the traits that he admired most about her, but today, it just served to remind him just how immature he truly seemed to be.

"Bulma…." He trailed off, knowing that none of the answers he could give her would satisfy her. In fact, it wouldn't satisfy him either. Anything he would say would just be a poor imitation of the truth. "You know how much I care about you, but you also know how dangerous our lives are. I can't be selfish and endanger your life even more by pursuing… us."

All she could do was scoff at the poor answer he gave, and instead of dignifying him with a strongly worded response, she shook her head and turned away. But before she was far enough away, she stopped and spoke.

"I'm done with this back and forth. You know what I want. But you don't know what you want. I can't do this anymore."

He was among the strongest of the Saiyans that were left, second only to Kakarot, but here he was, reduced to a speechless imbecile who couldn't seem to get out of his own way.

—-

He had helped her up to her bed that night, once everyone had said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Okara had found her peacefully but very uncomfortably sleeping in a lawn chair, and he took it upon himself to take her up to her room so she could get at least a small fraction of good sleep.

The Saiyan knew the path to her room like the back of his hand, despite the overwhelming size of the building, due to having spent many nights there with her. Those nights were some of the fondest memories he has ever had. No life threatening danger. Only two people that yearned for each other and were caught up in the throes of passion. Two people that, despite the world ending threats they often faced, needed something more. Something other than the fight to look forward to. So they found each other through the violence and destruction, and for the longest time, it felt as if they would never let go.

Laying her down, he couldn't help but frown as he looked at her as she tossed in the bed until she found a comfortable position. He wanted to give her the stars, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Maybe it was out of his seemingly selfless desire to not put her in any more danger than she already faced, but that wasn't likely. Bulma was a woman that knew exactly what she wanted, and it was him. But after not giving her a conclusive answer the last time they shared a night together, it made her feel like he was being wishy washy on the subject, and that he only wanted her when it was convenient for him.

If only she knew.

Truth be told, he knew he wanted her. To be with her. But how does one who has spent so much time living in a perpetual state of self hatred and self sabotage accept something that is so obviously a good thing?

"Ever since we first met, I knew that I wanted… something for us. At the time, I didn't know exactly what it was, but over the years, I figured it out. You made me feel like I was someone better than the sum of a few actions I made as a child. You made me feel better about myself, and you brought out a side of me I didn't know existed. But you were right. I was - and am - wallowing in my own misery, so much so that I can't see what's right in front of me."

Okara was breathing heavier with each word that left his lips, and he stifled back a tear at the emotional torment he put her through due to his inability to make a decision regarding whatever it was that they were.

"But I don't deserve you, Little Bird. I never have and I never will."

As the last word had been spoken, Okara leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before turning around and leaving, a great feeling of despair washing over him as each step took him farther away from the one thing he wanted most.