Saturday 8th June 2002, Nice, France
"It had been almost a year since I'd moved to Nice, and things had stayed incredibly the same, I was workingpart-time in Mr Esteban's grocery store, washing money and getting a little extra, since most of the 8000francs I earned went to pay for the house, food, rent, bills, my father didn't pay anything as usual, At the endof the month there was very little left over for me, just a couple of thousand francs, which soon became 250euros, but that didn't change much, as I continued to scrape by on a mission to continue my studies in LunaNova. On the other hand, I was doing well at school, attracting attention in both ballet and theatre, whichsoon led to my first performance in both, since I was doing well, the theatre performance would be my first, Iwas going to perform in The Wizard of Oz, where I was given the role of the magician himself, who barelyappears, But it was interesting all the same, I was able to learn a few things, it was a good opportunity toshow off my moves, just as in the ballet I would have a recital, but in neither case did my father make a pointof turning up, which was a shame, but the people from the school did turn up, even though I didn't havemany friends there, they wanted to see the Chariot Du Nord.
Well it's today, I seem to have been born ready for this, I'm really looking forward to it, even though I'm only appearing in the introduction, I think I can work a bit of magic here, my make-up is done, I really look good dressed like this, the magician's outfit with a few clown touches is interesting, let's go.
"All set, Chariot, you can tell us when we call you, you've got the moves to be a great oz magician" said the theatre teacher.
I was waiting, the music was playing, I was tapping my feet on the floor and there were smoke effects on the floor, all to emphasise it even more, which started the narration of the story with the teacher's voice, and at the call for the magician I appeared on stage and made a point of going in the loosest style.
I move from one side to the other, I do steps, something I've been doing in improvisation as the teacher has asked, and I even do some juggling and move my staff from one side to the other, dancing while holding my top hat.
I keep a close eye on the audience, reaching the edge of the stage and after doing a few pirouettes that I learnt in ballet, I combine them with a bit of me throwing myself on the floor until I reach the curtains and leave the stage, I think I've done well now I'm heading back to the dressing room and I can already see Dorothy appearing, waving to me.
"You didn't have to do all that, you're going to steal my sparkle like that" she whispers to me and I shrug as we reach the dressing room.
She must be thinking a lot of herself, ever since I arrived the girl who got the part of Dorothy only threw it in my face when she got it because she was more involved with the teacher, but I honestly don't care, I just want to have fun acting and it's the first time I've done it officially.
The others who watched me arrive in the dressing room even congratulated me on my performance and my movements, smiling at me.
"You're not even nervous, you move so lightly and delicately Chariot, I'm sure you do ballet" said the one who was going to play the wicked witch of the west.
"I really do, at the same time as I do theatre, I've been adding to my role, it was what the teacher asked, to improvise, I let myself go, apart from the fact that I used to be a street artist, I'm here for the experience" I say smiling.
"You're great Chariot, I know you from school, you're always tired, I hear you work, plus you do theatre and ballet classes, you're a real warrior" said the cowardly lion.
"Ah that's the least of it, just the battle to realise my dream, well go on and you'll turn up soon" I say smiling at them and honestly I'd rather they didn't know I worked, even if some people at the school know I work there.
Well, I'm going to wait a while as my performance is going to take a while, I'm just listening to Dorothy's scenes with the sound effects and today I'm just going to focus on that, on doing the best performance, I've even been released from work, just until the performance is over, then I'll go there, I hope this helps in some way to make it a bigger success.
[...]
My part is coming, the magician is proving to be the man, but his secret is going to be discovered, I get up from the dressing room with all my make-up touched up, I'm starting to approach the stage, the magician is
talking, with the thickest voice coming from the microphones, there comes the part where I show up, good time to shine Chariot Du Nord.
"The magician is talking, the magician is talking, the magician is talking..." I say it until my speech falters and it looks like I'm showing the farce of the magician of oz and creates a moment of silence between everyone as agreed.
"Who are you?" Dorothy asks.
"I am the great and powerful magician of Oz!" I say, emphasising my voice, creating a glitch effect as I show more of the performance.
"I don't believe it" said Dorothy.
"I'm not lying insolent little girl! I am the magician of oz, the great and only one!" And the jig is up for good.
"It's a farce" said the lion.
"I confess, you've got me there, I'm a fake, oh dear" I say, starting to pretend to melt on stage and I even throw myself into Dorothy's arms, who picks me up and then I come back.
"You're a very bad man!" Dorothy said.
"No, sweetheart, I may be a bad magician, but I'm not a bad man! That's absurd enough, what is it?" I say to her as I make a bit of a scene.
"But what about that? You promised your heart to the tin man, your courage to the lion and the other one I've forgotten, what was it again?" Said the scarecrow.
"The scarecrow brain" said the lion, who even patted his friend on the head.
"Ohhhhhhh, but that's true, well scarecrow, you don't need a brain, you learn something new every day, so I'll give you a degree! Here's your PhD!" I say, even making a diploma come out of my sleeve, showing the whole audience a good old magic trick.
"What about my courage?" asks the lion.
"You've already got a lot of courage, you just need more self-confidence, my nobleman, that's why you'll win a medal" I even say that by making a medal appear on another sleeve of my blouse and even confetti effects appear, that's marvellous.
"And my heart?" asked the tin man.
"Metal man, for your kindness and friendship, you will win a conderation! Remember my friend of many feelings, a heart contains the capacity to love and be loved!" I say, placing my hand on the tin man's chest.
"He ticks, ticks" said the happy tin man.
"What about Dorothy?" The scarecrow asks.
"I don't think you have anything for me" she said.
"Of course there is my little darling, the only way for Dorothy to return to Kansas would be for me to take her myself, because I'm tired of being a fake! An imposter! I'll take you home and then I'll go back to the circus!" I say, starting to make my rounds.
I'm leaving with Dorothy in the balloon to go into the last scene, of course making a point of moving as loosely as possible, I've learned a lot from watching drawings and also some films that the drama teacher gave me about acting more clearly, it was very good, I think I'm going to do well in this one, which I'm going to finish my scene.
I come out of the curtain and feel relieved, I even see my colleagues congratulating me on my performance, I had to give my life here, just to attract attention, after all that's how it starts to be a future stage entertainer, the great Chariot Du Nord, but I could see that Dorothy didn't like it one bit.
[...]
The performance is over, everyone gathers on stage and with that we're bowing and clapping, the people loved it, we did everything really well, I think today I've outdone myself, it was my chance to become a really great artist, I'm happy with that, I've been able to go as far as I can, I'm really marvellous.
I've never seen an audience like this since I was on the streets in Annecy, but it's a different feeling on a theatre stage, it's like I feel more important, the cameras look at us and then we go out through the curtains and into the dressing room.
I'm already removing my make-up from my face, putting on make-up remover and washing my face, as well as changing and taking off my magician's outfit, which makes me smile, I really did well today, I think that if I add these elements I can be a great stage entertainer, the lightness of ballet helped me a lot, so did performing as a magician of oz, so I'm leaving the dressing room and I'm all relieved with my bag full of things.
"Chariot, you were amazing!" Said my tin man colleague.
"Ah, I just did what I could, you have to do every performance as if it were your last, you know" I say, scratching the back of my neck.
"You're such a show-off, there's no need for all this movement, you're only like this because you didn't get the part of Dorothy, what's the point of being the magician if all eyes are on me, I'm the protagonist" she said.
"We're a team, we don't have to act like this, no one is better than anyone else, but we have to give our lives to this role, you're at theatre school for this, that's how they'll notice us one day, for our performance, I dream of being a stage entertainer one day, I have to make this dream come true, that's why I show everything I can do, even in a performance like this" I say to her and she shrugs her shoulders.
"Whatever, you still have a lot to learn, a 12-year-old girl who thinks she's the greatest" she said.
I shrug and so do the rest of the guys, she's just the oldest and thinks she's the expert because she's been at theatre school for two years, but I didn't do badly, I just showed what I have for acting, above all I had fun, that's what should count for sure.
The teacher came in and even clapped for us because he was so happy, everything went well, we didn't hold up a line, even though I was tired from having to go to work, I was still able to do something, I have my future there.
"Guys you did perfectly well, but I have to say something, I was going to the corridor and they kept talking about Chariot Du Nord, what you did as a magician is unparalleled, you surprised even us, we didn't expect such a move, you really showed what it means to be a magician of oz, I loved the soul you put into it, that's how I wanted to see it, a crazier and looser personality, it was undoubtedly the highlight of the play, but you weren't very different from her either, you really added to the magic of the show, congratulations, our performance went very well" said the teacher.
"Professor, thank you... Unfortunately I have to go now, if I get to work early I'll come home early, I'll be going" I say waving to everyone and leaving.
"You can go girl, have a good day, I didn't know you worked, next lesson I'll tell you more about what happened here" said the teacher.
"A girl that age working? You must be lying, you're abandoning us" said the girl who plays Dorothy.
"But Chariot works, she's in a grocery shop, I just can't remember which one, but she does work" said the tin man and I nodded to everyone.
I hope they don't reveal too many details, I love my job, even if I don't earn that much, it's time to get to work, now that I'm being paid in Euros after about 6 months the boss has decided to change everything, it feels like less money in my hand, it's a bit strange to be paid 1000 Euros a month instead of 8000 Francs, but at least it's worth more money.
I arrive at work, breathing a sigh of relief, I don't think it's going to be so busy this time, no one has even noticed that I've been oz's magician, I've already clocked in and put on my apron, ready to work.
"Good morning Antonia, today I was going to ask you to do something, since we're using Euros now change all the price signs, now there's no need to mention how many Francs the products here are, then do the usual thing, remember that for every 100 Euros you get 1 Euro" I know that well, now it's a relief, at least the Euros are a bit like pounds.
"It's all right, Mr Esteban" I say to him.
"Did you do well in the magic of oz presentation? Did you get bogged down when presenting? Or did you let yourself go?" The gentleman asked.
"Ah, it was easy really, I already have experience with a lot of people, so I just started letting myself go, now I'm looking forward to the dance recital in August, I'm loving these things, gaining experience and more chances of doing well" I say excitedly.
"That's good, you're in a good mood, it's good for work too. Keep going, there's a lot on today, maybe you'll get a good reception" I hope so, the boss is nice at least.
I'm starting to change the price tags, which used to be converted between Francs and Euros, to Euros, so that everything is organised. Today I'm going to work a lot, I'm going to make sure I leave plenty of money in the till, but not too much, I think the boss must have taken something extra.
It's still quite strange that he wants to do business like this, I don't know why, I think it must be some money that can't go straight into his account, but I don't understand these things, I'm just helping out.
[...]
Time for another theatre class after the performance, it's been two days since the first one after all, I'm going to enjoy it a lot, I hope I'm going to be present, I was very anxious to find out the results of this performance, I really think I'm going to do well, at least that's what I hope.
I get to the classroom and see everyone, they were already waiting for me, I was already a bit tired from work, but I think I can handle this class, what a day.
"Look at the magic of oz all pompous, she must be tired of inflating her own ego" said Juliet to Dorothy.
"What? I've only just got home from work, I'm working today, it's summer and I'm taking advantage of the extra money" I shrug.
"Ah, whatever, on Saturday you didn't stop being listened to by that bunch of eggheads of yours, anyway, I'm not going to start an argument, Professor Henry wants to talk to you" she said and I just rolled my eyes.
I walked around the room, where everyone was looking at me, I waved back, they were even smiling, I really am doing wonderfully in these performances, I hope it's because of this, at least something that will let me be recognised in the future.
I get to the teacher's room and he rarely calls me into the room to talk in person, it's something that must be very special, I realise he was even alone
"Chariot, what was that? You overdid it in the presentation" said the teacher and I scratched the back of my head, a little confused, I think from his tone it must not have been a good thing.
"I wanted to give my life to the role of teacher, sorry" he replies, then smiles.
"That's what we want! You're in the right place girl, I've heard everyone talking about the performance we did, the compliments are unquestionable about the magician, your performance was something that impressed everyone, we tried to dare to call a girl for this role and it worked very well, they loved seeing the way you acted, it was really magical, keep it up, show more of your talent, you'll be going to a talent agency when you're older, or you could even become an actress, at the next performance I want you in the lead role, I'll take a chance on you, I want to see you acting in something big, in six months' time, can you do it or is that too much pressure?" I nod my head in agreement.
"Six months I think I can manage, what presentation are you thinking, professor?" I ask him.
"You'll do it with Professor Layla, she'll tell you all about the role you're going to do, the lessons will be in private with her, on her schedule, you're a diamond that we have to polish" said the teacher.
"Oh, I just said a few lines, Professor, I didn't do anything much" I say, scratching the back of my head.
"No big deal? That's because you got a part in a very early theatre school performance, can you get a bigger part? I'm going to call Professor Layla to reveal the role to you" said the teacher, and I didn't know what to say.
Did I shine that much? I didn't think it would turn out that way, I hope it's not that much, Layla's teacher rarely appears, she's well respected by the school, she only takes those who are very talented, the fact that she took me for this only makes it even more bizarre, well at least I'm having my climb in life, this way I'll get back
to my mums in a glorious way.
The teacher has arrived, she's beautiful and elegant, I've heard that she can polish the best actors, I don't want to be one, but I'll take the part anyway.
"Look, we've even found our future Joanna D'arc" what? You've got to be kidding me.
"Are you serious?" I say impressed.
"You certainly have all the talent to be our Joanna D'arc, what you showed with the Wizard of Oz will be perfectly suited to a Joanna D'arc! You can be sure that your theatre career will go from here, who knows, we may have a great future actress here" said the teacher.
"Woah, thank you so much teacher, I really appreciate it" I say all impressed.
"Show it by coming with me, we're going to start rehearsing soon, in six months' time we're going on a trip to Paris, this performance is going to be big, I hope you can get your parents' permission, or we can ask them, it's something special, it's all going to be on us, you can rest assured, we can even take them if necessary" said the teacher and I was very relieved.
"Don't worry, teacher, I'll..." Wait a minute, if I create too much relevance... I could lose my false identity, I can't risk that much.
"What is it, Chariot? Did something happen?" I take a deep breath and think.
I'd almost forgotten that I'm working with a false identity, if I'm great at acting I can be recognised more by the surroundings, at least that's what I think, but I don't know, I think I should take a chance, anything else I work elsewhere, or my boss might understand.
It's an important decision, I can throw it away and keep the comfort, or I can risk it, if I risk it I can earn money further down the line and one day end up in Luna Nova, that's it! I'm going to do it! I'm not going to throw away this opportunity.
"I accept! I'm going to be the best Joanna D'arc!" I say, all motivated.
"In fact, you'll need to do lessons all week for this, okay? Or do you take any classes?" asked the teacher.
"Well, can I start in August? I have a ballet recital on that date, then I'll focus completely on the classes, I just wanted to get some ballet experience" I say to her and she nods in agreement.
"Well, it'll be less time to polish Joanna D'arc, but we can do it, I'll want to see you at the ballet recital too, I didn't know you did ballet too, now the movements you made on stage make sense, the lightness is very characteristic of a ballerina" said the teacher and I'm grateful.
[...]
"That was the risk I needed to take and yes, by that time you had already been born and I didn't even knowyou existed yet, since I hung up on every call Daryl gave me and none of them mentioned your existence,but it was all before the worst of events happened, In short, I accepted the role of Joanna D'arc at the risk ofhaving my false identity revealed, but I did it because I would risk a little revelance in exchange for perhaps alittle extra money, more than the 1600 Euros I got at most a month working with Mr Esteban."
Saturday 3 August 2002, Nice, France
"Soon the day of the ballet performance also arrived, I was doing well in class, so well that I got a veryimportant role, the teacher was really impressed with my choreography, although for her the growth of mybreasts was something that worried her, they were already starting to show and she said that a perfectballerina has small breasts, which made me nervous so that they wouldn't grow any more, but so far theywere small and I was managing to balance myself calmly, the moment to present that was making meanxious. I invited whoever I could, but as usual my father didn't turn up, but some people from the school did,so I went out for the performance well into the evening and it was my time to shine."
Even the teacher came, it's really crowded, I can see it from the curtain, I've even been on this stage before, that's funny, well today is going to be one of those performances, I'm sure, come on Chariot, it's time to impress, the music started to play, I took on the role of being the winter.
"Come on, Chariot, show us that you're the best winter" said the teacher.
I enter the stage and start doing the steps I've practised at ballet school, I have to impress somehow, I look at the stage, keeping the most closed expression of winter, following the rhythm, while getting closer to the other dancers, wow how much I've listened to this song, it's something I've lost count of, the good thing is that I impress with my flexibility.
Ballet has helped to polish even more what I've had since I was a child in the training that Mum Laura did to help my body adapt to magic, I even miss using it, come on winter show your softness.
I was moving my arms around, standing on the edge, which I hurt my foot in a short time doing it, the teacher really wanted me to be heavier than all the others, I was almost on a par with all the more experienced ones, but it's still my first year, I'm getting emotional, I never thought I'd be on a stage dancing like this, all I wanted was for mums to be here, them watching me at this moment would be wonderful.
[...]
I got to the end of my steps and there it ended as I was just the final station, the others started to appear little by little, and with that they all got together and we were bowing to the audience, wow I really am incredulous at how I managed to be the last one and not make a mistake, I even thought that some step would go wrong, but I see that it worked, and I hear clapping coming towards me, to my relief, that's so wonderful.
Then we come back out of the curtains and I can breathe a sigh of relief, tonight was really something else, now I've finalised my career as a dancer here, I have to focus on my performance of Joanna D'arc.
"Magnifique Chariot Du Nord, as a novice you've shown yourself to be a perfect winter, I love it" said the teacher.
"Thank you, teacher, I only did what you asked, I wanted to show the world that I too can be a ballerina, but this is going to be the last performance, I've barely done the first one and it's going to be the last, I have to stop" I tell her.
"But why girl? You're a perfect ballerina, your neck and body are enviable, at your age I was sinking under the weight of these things growing up, as well as my problems with my own weight, is money tight?" She asks.
"I'm investing in a future plan, my theatre school wants me all week for a big performance in Paris, but it was worth it for the experience teacher, I was able to learn a lot from you" I tell her and she smiles at me.
"A future actress then? Go after your dreams girl, that's the important thing, but I'll tell you right now that it was wonderful teaching you, you can come back to our school whenever you want, I'm proud, you're a rare diamond that only appears every 10 years in our ballet school, girls like you are rare, but I understand your reasons, you did very well in the recital, I'm sure that as an actress you'll be even better" Said the teacher stroking my head and then hugging me.
"I don't want to be an actress, but the theatre is my chance for my dreams, one day I'll achieve them... There are many dreams, but I've loved every second I've spent at ballet school, I'll make them count when I go to perform at the end of the year" I say smiling at the teacher.
"We're all going to say goodbye to the great Chariot, she's done a lot for us and now she's going her own way, she's undoubtedly made us very proud, now she's going to new horizons, we hope for the greatness of this little girl who has a great future ahead of her" she said to everyone who gave her a group hug.
I was feeling a bit important until they made steps towards me, while I went to the dressing room to change, they were really happy about what I'd done, I hope they're doing well too, I'm changing my clothes, taking off my make-up, looking in the mirror, confident, I think I might have a future further down the line, a dancer wouldn't be so profitable when I'm trying to be a street presenter.
When I'd finished changing, I waved to everyone and headed for the exit, where Professor Layla was waiting for me, she hugged me and she really had come round, I'd invited her, thinking she wouldn't look at me, but she must have got an idea of how I'd
"You did marvellously well, as a dancer you also have the talent, you could take this a long way, in any case, we'll transform this Joanna D'arc even more into perfection, I'm very happy to see that you performed marvellously well" I'm even grateful.
"Thank you, now I'm free, I've spoken to my teacher, we're going to invest in Jonna D'arc, I believe I can go far in this" I say excitedly to the teacher.
"I hope so, now let's go, I'll give you a lift, I'll buy you a McDonald's, you must be hungry after all that presenting" I'm even excited.
"Really, teacher? Are you going to pay me? I'm very grateful" I say happily.
"You deserve it girl, I also need to know a bit more about the Chariot behind this Joanna D'arc, I know you didn't open up about your personal life to the teacher, but I was able to find out a few things, you work in Mr Esteban's grocery store, you live with your father don't you? It must be hard keeping a roof over your head with him" keeping a roof over your head, in fact, while he's there splashing the cash.
"I'm grateful, Professor Layla, I'm really hungry, maybe I'll tell you more about my personal life, because we're in a place where I don't feel as comfortable telling you what I really am, as well as my future plans, when we build up more trust with each other I'll tell you" I tell her as I get into the car.
"Witch, isn't she? I already knew that, don't worry about it, I'm not prejudiced against witches, I'm a secretive one" she said, showing her wand and performing a few spells.
I have to think about the mums who are waiting for me in Scotland, I'm doing all this for them, one day I'll tell the teacher everything, when I'm closer, but for now I'll tell her little things, she took me to where McDonald's is and I got all excited and went to eat.
"Well, it even appeared in the book that I had my first real and official performance as an oz magician, beingmy own, as well as the ballet, in addition to the future performance of Joanna D'arc, but from here begananother friendship, which went on as the weeks went by with my theatre teacher Layla, who helped me a lot,because she was a witch in secrecy, she was telling me more things and I was also revealing little by littleabout my life, what she was discovering and even already knew a lot, in fact, I was even surprised."
See you, Oz witches...