English

He never knew how much I thought during sex. As much as sometimes there couldn't be any thoughts going through my mind because it was too intense, sometimes words just flew in like wind gently caressing someone's skin. It's not that it is surprising – he knew how much I loved words during or outside sex – I guess I just never told him. A part of me didn't say because I didn't know how to and mostly because outside of context, I couldn't even remember what I was thinking.

I didn't know how to say it because the only thoughts I ever had during sex were strictly in English and English isn't my first language, hell, I can't ever say a word without feeling my mouth is about to drawn in that uncomprehensive mess.

So I let the words fly in my mind each time we would have sex, telling me one day I would remember and I would say something. I think the purpose of finding the way to express thing was for me to be able to say more clearly want I want and more than that, to find a way to express thing I find hard to say because I don't know how to say them in French. It's not even that I can't say them, it's that I can't say them in English and I don't know how to in French. So I guess writing them is the next best option, if I can remember.

So to try it, I decided to revisit our last encounter, but with a new perspective; with a perspective that put the thoughts I had in the center of the scene. For the first time, I also felt the need to detach myself from what I was writing.

…

They had a great night. He came over and ate with the small family and she always loved it; she loved having the 3 people that mattered the most to her in the same room, having a good time together. The night ended and she went to put her kids to sleep. When she came down, he was talking with her mom and she sat beside him and listen to the conversation. As much as she loved watching them interact, she couldn't wait to have him for herself, to hold him and to kiss him.

After what looked like an eternity, her mom left and they were alone. They waited to go upstairs since her son wasn't sleeping yet.

When they finally got the chance to get to the bedroom, they started by simply talking. She always loved those moments when they would just talk. But, at the same time, there always was a part of her that couldn't wait for him to be in her.

At some point, the discussion ended and they started kissing and caressing each other.

I could keep doing this my whole life, she thought, but then again she also couldn't stop thinking about him in her; she simply needed him.

He had recently discovered that she loved anything nipple-related, so he started playing with her nipples. It was always a matter of seconds before she couldn't stop moving in every direction because it was simply too good.

-Omg, please don't stop, she thought. You can never stop this.

A few minutes later the recurring thought slowly change.

-Omg, please stop, that's too good. I will never find it in me to ask you to stop because it is too good, but that is making me way too fucking horny and I almost can't tolerate it anymore.

And at some point he stopped. As always, it was a mix of disappointment and relief. How could something feel so good, she didn't know.

He placed himself on top of her and she hoped he would enter her quickly but he was in a more playfull way and she loved it. He made he wait for what was to come and she couldn't take it anymore.

-omg this it torture! I love it, she thought. Will you enter me. Oh no, please don't keep teasing. Omg you're way to patient for this. I just can't wait to have you fuck me. I can't say why, but I know that you should be in me right know! Omg, still waiting… this is so long, omg!

And at some point he finally gave her what she wanted. At that point, she couldn't think of anything. Everything was perfect and where it was supposed to be.

As he was fucking her, a few thoughts found their way through her mind:

-That's too good. How is it that good and I still can't come? I must have a problem! Surely, I have a problem. Oh wow, that's so good too. I just want him to fuck me and touch me. Ah, so sad that he doesn't have three arms, he can't touch me while fuck me in that position, I guess I'll have to wait!...Ah ha! Here we go, I love it when you touch me while you're in me. Ah, maybe I should tell you that I don't care if you move in me or not; I would rather having you touching me without moving than you moving without touching me…well that's a complicated thought! Let's leave it for an other time, I'll just enjoy whatever you do. Ah, I so love it when you do what you want. I sometimes feel restrain or like you're not doing want you want to the fullest, but I guess I'll take what you feel like you wanna do now… Oh nice! I love it when you put your hand over my mouth. Oh well, I can't breathe now: fun and inconvenient… How can you look that hot? Are you even real? Omg, this feels so good. Omg, please don't stop, you just can't! Ahhh, and you stopped and you're now doing something that is so good again, but just before that was still a bit better. I don't even know what was different, but it somewhat was better. Omg, I love having you in me: so good…Oh, I guess you're gonna come soon, or will you? I never really know but I always do at the same time. I wish you would tell me in advance before coming, though I would also love to have it be a surprise. But then again, I love it when you take that position when I know you're gonna come and when you ask me to look at you: best part. Ah, right, that right now isn't it. How much do I love watching you come and getting to hold you afterwards. Oh the fuck is it possible to feel so good on someone's arm: I simply don't know.

At some point he got off of her and she always thought it was too soon. She loved hugging him while still having him in her. He asked her if the wanted anything else but she couldn't answer.

It was too good being held by him, yet she was still a little horny. She didn't want to come though, she simply wanted to keep on feeling good. She told him he should ask closed questions and he did. He asked if he should keep caressing her to which she replied "yes".

-Of course, don't ever stop. I could have you running your hands on my body for all my life. I love it when you just touch my everywhere and when you put pressure on me with your hands; it's like I belong in your arms, she thought.

He then asked if he should play with her nipple and she say yes again. She could never say no to this because it always was too good. And with that, started the sexual stimulation again.

-This is so good. I just want you to keep touching my nipple all the time. Omg, please touch my clit at the same time. Oupsi, I know that's not really a good position for you, all twisted and all to touch me, ahhh but that's so good. I guess you could take time to find a position that allows you to be comfortable while touching my nipples and my clit, surely this isn't the best for you… ah fuck, that's so good, I just can't think… please don't stop… ah so good, I guess I will have to get on my stomach though, it's just too good and it makes me wanna lay on my belly…what an effort… ok, I will do it…ah it would be so much easier it you were the one to tell me to get on my belly, though how could you know that it is now that I want you to say it. I should find some sort of non verbal cue, shouldn't I… oh that's too good…ok, I will change position!...ah ha! So good now..I fucking love feeling him on me…I love it that he's not doing much except touching my nipples…maybe I will come then…that's fucking too good…omg…ah well, did he just put his leg over me, I love having him on me…oh I love it, though it seem to have make it so I am now sure that I won't come…or maybe not, that it so good. I love having him touch me…I wish you would talk to me more…ah ha! Rich coming from me who never talks. Though I can here it in my mind, simple tinge you could say and my thoughts running:

-You love have me touching you, don't you, he would say.

-I do, would I think.

-You know I love touching you as much as you love being touch. I love seeing you move your body under my touch.

He would then pause and simply run his finger through my body still talking:

-I know how good I make you feel. Do you want me to stop? Answer me or I will.

-No, would I answer.

-Good answer, I know you can answer me with the right leverage. Should I continue running my fingers on your body or should I put it somewhere, let's say here.

He would then start touching my clit, removing my own hand that was there. And He would simply breath in my ear.

-You love it, don't you, he would say. But I know something you would love even more.

While still touching her, he would say:

-breath with me.

He would take slow and loud breaths that some what felt sexual. He would wait for here to match his breathing and then he would talk again:

-I know you like it.

-Too good, she would think. Please don't stop. You can't.

He would then make an effort to moan. It would both be loud but feel like a whisper. Between his moans he would simply let some words out, simple words like "fuck", "I know you love it", "can't wait for you to come for me", "I know you wanna come", "I wanna see you come".

Of course that would be way too much for her. She had always been sensitive to sounds, let alone moaning…of course in that setting she would have to come, she wouldn't even have to think about it, it would just happen. It would happen as he concentrated on moaning and breathing rather than on moving or physically helping. Of course, she was used to little to no movement when she came. Of course, there was movement before coming, but in the second preceding it, she hardly never moved. In fact, moving was most likely to prevent her from coming when she was that close. And since when that happened, she couldn't say anything, it always kinda went away without her coming. Having him with his hands on her clit and/or nipple, but concentrating on sounds seemed like the best thing ever.

… but that's not what happened.

He continued to touch her and she love it. At some point, she felt like it could be enough, but she was way to good with his hands on her so she didn't say anything, and she just settle for feeling good as long as it would last. After a long time, she finally stopped him and position herself to cuddle him. It had been way too good. She could have stayed like that a long time and, now, she felt like she could hold him for eternity.