Fairy 6.11: Precipice
Pixie

Skysong is giving the other pokémon their orders. "Coco, you're with me as a guide. Noci, carrying supplies and looking for danger. Leo, you'll be in your ball. If a fight breaks out, you'll stay close to me and the other humans and block any attacks you can. If anything slips past Coco and the outer guard, knock it out. The pokémon in the canyon will be the strongest we've seen. Stay alert and give it your all. But if you can't win, tell me. I can figure out what they want and hand it over if we have to."

The others understand their orders. They have jobs. Ways to help.

"What am I doing?" you ask.

"Keep the food cold. I'll send you out throughout the day to keep freezing it."

You can do that. You have been doing it. None of it puts you at risk. It feels… well, you can't fight. Even a grass eevee managed to hurt you.

You don't want to help just because an eevee and a bird told you. But. It might get you love? Nothing else has worked.

"Can I stay out?" you ask Skysong. Surely you'll find something to do then.

The human stands still for a moment. She does that sometimes when she's thinking. Usually there's some movement. Swaying, moving a limb, fidgeting with something in her paw. Stillness is strange for her.

"It will be very hot," Skysong says, "and a difficult path. I won't judge you for staying in your ball. Might be best for your injuries."

You puff your fur out. No. You refuse to be nothing more than an injured fox forever. Nothing more than useless prey. You can carry on like any other pokémon. You have to.

"…okay. I'll let you stay out for a little bit. I'd you're hurting or hot, let me know. It's fine. Promise."

In the blissful cold of your ball, you wonder why you even care about being helpful. You never wanted to live with humans. Never wanted to care about what they think. Never asked for it. If you could still be on The Mountain, you would be. But there isn't a way back. Not even Kalani could find one with all of her power.

You're stuck at sea level for good. Skysong is probably the best human to be stuck with. You could go out and try again, and again, and again, but… you don't think you'd do better. She can listen to you. Even if she doesn't always. That's still more than most humans.

You don't understand why being helpful makes people love you. Or how love works. Did Avalanche love you? Then why did she leave you? Why do the nine-tails have to leave anyone? During the wonderful dark and cold you met a nine-tails in the cave beneath the flowers. He asked you why the nine-tails couldn't just grow the mountain. Not the rock of the mountain, but the cold of it. You could make all the islands cold and then live there without getting rid of any vulpix. At the time you thought that you could, that you were strong enough. And then Shirona's dog tossed Kalani around like a rodent before snapping her neck. Do the humans keep you from expanding the cold with threats? If so, you don't want to help them. Not when they're responsible for everything.

You need to get that question answered. You'll have to talk to the nine-tails in the cave or maybe the one mated to the ugly ice eevee. Until then you can keep trying to be helpful.

You try. You really do. You walk beside Skysong, easily keeping up with the slow humans. Then the sun rises. It's fine for a while. Your abdomen is a little sore from Kalani's scars.

Then your body starts to burn inside of your fur. Even the stone beneath your paws is blazing hot. Skysong stops the group to drink. You try to keep trudging on because you're not sure you'll be able to start again if you stop. "Pixie," she calls out. "Leo's in his ball. It's fine if you want to be. Really. When we get to someplace cold, I'm sure Coco will want to stay in hers."

You don't want to admit defeat. You're trying. How is she supposed to know how loveable and helpful you are if she can't see you trying?

She bends down and holds out a hand for you. It is ignored. "If you get hurt out here, I won't be able to fully heal you for a long time."

That makes you reconsider. You already have so many wounds. The last one still hurts when you wake up in the morning. Could you survive more? You can't be helpful and loved if you're dead.

"Fine."

"Good. I'll send you out later to help keep things cold."

You lift your paws to take another step and set them back down in the snow. Getting better at managing that. A few tight turns and a sweep of your tails makes a nice spot to sit in. The heat in your fur goes away and is replaced by marvelous cold. This is better. You would rather be here. Is that why no one's loved you?

The heat abruptly returns. Skysong sits beside you. In front of you is a big crack in the earth. It's not nearly as deep as The Mountain is tall, but you can only barely see the pokémon at the bottom.

Skysong gestures to the cold box on the other side of you. It only takes a few seconds to re-freeze the melted water. "Good girl. I appreciate it."

It was barely anything. You don't acknowledge the praise.

"If you ever feel bad, I can let you back in. The others liked the view. Thought I should share it."

It's not bad. Just not what you saw on clear days growing up. From up high the trees on the ground blurred together and the ocean stretched out forever down below. There was only The Mountain beneath your paws and the green and blue stains beyond it. This is big but there's just more earth on the other side. The river at the bottom isn't even impressive. Not like the meltwater streams that slowly built up the further down The Mountain you went.

And you'll never see any of those things again. There's no going back. No matter how powerful you get. Is this the best you can get now?

Skysong's hand brushes against your side. "What are you thinking about?"

You don't want to tell her. She wouldn't get it. But. Kalani did give her The Nine-tails' Curse. Or something like it. Maybe she does?

"Home," you answer.

She hums in response.

"I don't know where home is anymore. It was always the people for me. And the people are… they aren't there anymore."

"Some are." Her dragon. The blob thing. The fire-type.

"Maybe," she says. "But. I think Dr. Karashina knows something and isn't telling me. She shuts down her mind whenever I ask about it. Has since the start. Whatever she knows, I doubt it's good."

You release a pulse of snow to sit in. It's more tolerable without hot stone right beneath your feet. Still aren't sure how much longer you can take this.

"What if they aren't there?" you ask. It's not something you've heard her talk about. You never thought about not being able to return until someone who would know told you that it could never, ever happen.

She takes a loud, shaky breath. "Then this was all pointless, wasn't it? Coming here, getting the money. Should have just stayed and… no. At least one of them is out there. At least one. Probably two. Maybe all three."

You wonder what the curse meant. If home was people and she can't go home. Curses can be clever. Almost as clever as the fox who cast them. Sometimes more. You don't tell her that. It's a bad time.

You glance down the cliff.

A bad place, too.

"You don't have to prove yourself to me," she says. "I already like you. If I want you to do something, I'll ask. If I don't want you to I'll let you know. You can do the same with me."

You just stare at her. Liar. She has always wanted you to prove yourself. Your strength. Your obedience. Your softness. That is all humans want. For you to be better.

…it's all Kalani wanted, too.

You aren't sure how to get better. But you're trying, and she's telling you to stop.

"Can I go back?"

Skysong smiles even though nothing good is happening. "Of course. I'll send you out for dinner. After the sun sets. When it's cold."

You sneeze. "It's never cold."

She smiles more. Why? "Cooler, then."

"Fine."

And you go back to being alone.

The caves are far better than the surface. The entire group is cutting through one rather than doing more of the endless lines back and forth across the canyon edge. Just looking at the lines makes your legs ache. Now the other two humans are hanging back while you help Skysong, Eyerock, and Eggbreath find a 'machoke.' You saw a picture. It was like a human, but three times as ugly. You almost met one before. The man with the terrible bird had used one in the fight. It was before you came out. You can only remember the reptile smell on the wooden boards. No. Not quite reptile. Not quite anything. They smell as ugly as they look.

The caves aren't like the ones on The Mountain. Too wide. Too tall. Too smooth. You can hear water far below, but there isn't even a dry riverbed in this tunnel. Sometimes there are human lights flickering into the dark. Sometimes you have to rely on your excellent night vision.

"Who made this?" Eggbreath asks. Huh. Maybe she isn't that dumb if she's keeping up with your thoughts. Someone must have made this. The humans? Could they even do it?

Skysong hums in thought. "I think the machoke. The tunnels are big enough for them. They like being underground. The bottom caves are probably normal. Then they made the rest. They're strong enough to do it. Humans wouldn't need to if we had the trail outside."

That's impossible. Lizards aren't smart enough to build something like this, even if they were strong enough.

Just as you're about to tell Skysong which way she should turn to follow the scent, Eggbreath nudges her down the correct path. How? Okay, fine, you know she isn't nose-blind, but she shouldn't be as good as you. Not if you're supposed to be useful. And the dark isn't even bothering her! You know she can't see as well as you, maybe not even as well as Skysong, but she keeps going in a straight line even when you duck through a path that's dark and too narrow for all three of you to walk side by side. You can at least flick Skysong away from a ledge in the next room. The cave just suddenly has two levels in this tunnel, one three tail-lengths higher than the other.

The tunnel splits again. The higher and lower levels leading into their own tunnels. You stop. The scent is stronger near the lower path. You tell Skysong while Eggbreath is still babbling on about the lizards she believes built the tunnels. You can't help her get down, though. Eyerock ends up picking her up and dropping her down. Then the rock comes back to you like a mountain fox needs help with a little slope. You move down with careful movements and a small jump. Then Eggbreath runs off the top and lands at the bottom with a thud. Something stirs from down in the tunnel. A lot of somethings.

Wings. In a cave.

"Bats," you tell Skysong.

She nods and her face shifts towards battle. Hunting. The one she wears when she's dealing with things she doesn't care about hurting. "Coco, stealth rock. Pixie, roar."

You don't have to be asked to scream. You pour all of your frustrations into it. Maybe an eevee can hurt you right now, maybe you'll never go home, maybe you'll never be loved. But the bats don't have to know it and if they come for you they will die, slowly and painfully, no, quickly because you're such a good hunter—

They're here.

Some turn back from your scream. Others fly straight into the rocks and pause in pain. The rocks start moving in midair and hitting more. You look back. Eyerock. Shattered Eyes is wrapped around Skysong, lashing out at anything that flies down. Eggbreath bites at any that come close. Attack time. Fine. You can do that. You look back up and see a whole river of bats. Like the ones that flew out of caves on The Mountain.

You use weaker attacks, the little puffs of cold instead of bolts of ice in the sky. No point wasting a full attack when this will do. You knock bat after bat after the sky. It doesn't matter. You still can't see the ceiling. And now they notice you. Two dive down. You manage to shoot them. Then three, led by one as big as you.

It makes you hesitate. That could hurt you. Do you want to get hurt for this?

You're interrupted when Eggbreath rushes over and sinks her teeth into the bat's leg before it can touch you. It lets out at a terrible screech and tries to bite her before she moves her jaws and breaks its spine with a sickening crack.

"ENOUGH," Skysong yells.

The sound echoes through the cave and, somehow, the bats slow down or even still.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you. I don't wish you any harm, but if you keep going we will kill a many of you as we can. Your choice. You can have a few bats stay to watch us as long as they don't attack. And we'll go the opposite way of the rest."

There's a great deal of chatter above. Skysong goes back and forth with them for a while before most of the bats retreat. Eyerock and Skysong go around, spraying potions on some of the injured-but-not-dead bats, and you once again feel useless. She even defrosts one that you'd frozen! All of your hard work undone.

"Strength is all the machoke value," Skysong said. "They don't care about anything else. We have to show them that humans can make them strong."

"Why do they need to be strong?" you'd asked. "What will they use it for? Making their home bigger? Hunting? Not being hunted?"

"Not really any of that."

The plains stretched out around you. Stony cliffs rose up in the distance like a barren, pathetic imitation of the mountain. The sea roared somewhere behind.

"I've heard that being stronger is the point. It makes them happy, I guess? I don't understand. I don't need to."

Fools. If power made someone happy, then Kalani would have been happy. You knew they were stupid –they're almost lizards – but that takes it too another level.

There's a large chamber with a hole high above. Light trickles down to form a crude circle in the center of the cave. The two machoke are fighting there. One's far larger than the other. An adult and a baby? The adult is clearly holding back. And he's outsped. The baby can duck beneath attacks and hit back. He's striking the torso. Not the legs. Does he not know how to fight bipeds? Skysong says that she'll talk to them but she doesn't. Just stands in the entrance until the fight finishes with a glancing blow to the baby.

The machoke turn towards you. One steps forwards. Not the largest, but far from the smallest. A line of two parallel scars run up her abdomen onto her neck. You assume it's a her. The others respect her.

Cuicatl still doesn't say anything. Just reaches to her sash and lets Shattered Eyes out. The lead machoke steps back into the light. He's followed by the bug's eyes but not his body. Until he lunges. It's quick, even for you, and the machoke barely reacts in time. Shattered Eyes follows up with a slash of a claw, water running off of it like a rapids. The machoke steps out of the way and Shattered Eyes steps forward, now with two claws of water slashing like mad. A fist flies out and the bug rolls her head down so that it strikes the armor behind her head. Then he dives down all the way, wrapping himself around the machoke's legs and thrashing until she falls to her knees. Yes! That's how you fight a biped! A kick sends him flying back but he just rolls on the ground and comes up in his usual crouch. If he's hurt, he doesn't show it. Just clacks his mandibles and hisses.

It occurs to you that Shattered Eyes is fighting because Skysong thinks he's strongest. Even stronger than you.

…that isn't very hard right now.

At least Eggbreath is too stupid to realize that. She might get upset. And Skysong cares a lot when Eggbreath is upset. Or pretends to. No mother would actually care that much for their child. Especially a pretend mother. Screaming without a cause just makes them annoyed. That's what you do to those beneath you, to humans, not to someone above you.

Skysong puts something onto her bracelet. The fight's still going. Shattered Eyes has landed some hits and doesn't seem to mind the punches too much. His armor isn't bent or anything. But his attacks also haven't done more than annoy the machoke. The bracelet gives her power. The bracelet hurts her.

Eggbreath snorts and gently clamps her teeth around the bracelet so Skysong can't move the arm. "Stop."

And Skysong lowers her arm and stops. She didn't need to do that. Shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have let a child boss their parent around. You never would have done that with Avalanche. Not since you got your second tail and became more than a baby. Certainly wouldn't have done it to Kalani.

The machoke grabs Shattered Eyes' largest claws and tries to wrestle him. This just gets the bug to lash out with all of his smaller legs. It turns into a mess of kicks, scratches, and even a bite or two on the floor where neither side actually seems to be hurt. Until the bug suddenly goes limp. The machoke abruptly drops him and rises to her feet. Then he snaps back to life and runs away. A challenge is bellowed out, one that you don't need translated: Fight, coward! Shattered Eyes stops. Turns. Looks at his opponent with his creepy inspect eyes. And he jumps. It's at least half his height fully off the ground. You didn't even know he could do that. The machoke tries to knock him out of the sky but Shattered Eyes spears one of his hind legs down hard enough to anchor in his enemy's skin as his head keeps flying forward. He stops when his mandibles are just above the machoke's eyes.

The machoke finally turns to Cuicatl and complains. It sounds like a complaint. A low grumble with her head turned down. One of the babies jeers. You're not sure who he's insulting.

"That's how golisopod fight," Skysong says. "And I won't apologize. Down in the ocean battles aren't casual tests of skill and strength. They're contests where one fighter lives and the other dies. You could learn from him. Positioning. Feinting. Critical strikes. Or you could dismiss anyone who can beat you just because they didn't fight you like a machoke should. Your choice."

The machoke snorts and asks another question.

"He wasn't hurt. It didn't decide the fight. He would have won eventually. You lost whether you want to admit it or not."

Her face stays neutral. Still. So does her voice. Stillness means that something's off. She's acting. Skysong was never the best huntress, or even a good one, but she's great at getting prey to capture themselves.

The machoke takes two steps forward and Eggbreath dashes in front of Skysong. Her teeth are bared and she snarls like a mad beast. Her fangs are twice as long as yours. Too long, really. But it makes the snarl impressive.

"Do you want to fight again, or will you drive me away and save yourself the embarrassment?" Skysong asks. "I still have more pokémon."

One of the mid-size ones steps forward, Coco advances, and the fight begins again. Coco is relying more on her new move, her close combat, flailing against her enemy while shrugging off weaker hits. She gets a good bite in and shocks her opponent. The two back up, Coco roars, and Skysong whistles. And says nothing. Finally, she hunches over and stares at the ground.

"Coco, come back. We're not doing this."

You almost hurt your neck snapping your head to look at her. What?

"I'm sorry, there are some humans who will try to find you and sell you to another human you've never met. Don't listen to them." She sounds tired. Hollow. Lifeless. "Thank you for the battle. We'll be going."

Even Coco looks confused. You'd thought that she understood her so-called mother.

Skysong holds out her hand, Coco hurries to meet it, and she turns to walk back into the tunnels.

"Wait!" you call. And she stops. "Can you ask them a question?"

She tilts her head. Good enough.

"What are they getting stronger for?"

Skysong turns back around and repeats the question.

The biggest one steps forward and groans out a response. It even sounds ugly.

"To get stronger."

"Why, though? What do they need to defeat?"

The response is much longer this time.

"No one. Everyone. Strength can be measured. It can always be improved. Being stronger is a goal they can always work towards and know they're advancing." She pauses. "I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense. He doesn't know how else to explain it."

That feels almost human. Like how one of your first trainers tried to explain it. Is that a good purpose? To fight over and over again for nothing? No. You don't think so. It might be fun to lord your strength over your enemies, but it's not a purpose.

You wait until you're almost out of the caves to challenge your trainer.

"What was that about?"

"I made a mistake." Her voice is still low and dull. Very unpleasant. "Lyra called me out on it. I don't think I'm going to do any more VStar hunts."

"Can you still get food?" Shattered Eyes asks. Good. He has the right priorities.

"Yes."

There's a quiet moment where the only sounds are your steps.

"Can I go into my ball now?" he asks.

Skysong withdraws him. And that's all the questions he has.

"How are you hunting then?"

"Don't know. Dr. Karashina talked about some ways. Uh. Lots of people with more money than fear buy dragons. Even if they have a translator they don't understand them. I can help. Or, if you're willing, most of you are rare pokémon. I could show you off or something. If you want to. That shouldn't be your job. Money is mine."

"I will help," Eggbreath says. Like there was ever any doubt.

"Thank you."

You walk along in silence. A few bats are still watching from the ceiling but they don't dare approach. Skysong wouldn't let you eat any of the downed ones. A shame. You liked them a lot on The Mountain.

"Your thoughts, Pixie?"

"Humans are easier to fool than pokémon. It's a good idea."

Less dangerous, too. And if there isn't fighting.

Fighting would make you stronger. The machoke seemed to like being stronger. That gave them purpose. Purpose. You had one. Go back to The Mountain, kill or exile one of your siblings, have things return to the way they were. That can't happen. You don't know what you want anymore. Do the nine-tails on The Mountain have a purpose? Or are they just living the life they are supposed to. Is that enough? It is, right? You don't know what else a nine-tails would even want to do.

Then what's the next best thing?

The humans are all distracted. Liar is doing some light training with her team, Eggbreath, and Eyerock. Skysong and her mate are quietly talking about something dumb and unimportant in their tent. The remainder of the pokémon are asleep or scattered around.

The eevee is curled up in the late day sun at the edge of the campsite. You approach him. Even if you hate it. You're trying not to cause problems. Trying not to start fights. The eevee had an idea about what you should be doing. You will listen to what he has to say. And then, probably, do the opposite. Eevee are useful like that. Give advice so bad you can use it to make good ideas.

He glances at you and then lowers his head back to the ground.

"You've been less of a nuisance," he says. "It's strange."

You grit your teeth and try not to lunge. "I decided to help my trainer. What do you even do to help yours?"

He swishes his stupid, stupid leaf tail as he takes forever to think. "Not much. She never asks for much. I spent all my life growing up to join a human as their first pokémon. I did. He wanted something from me and I couldn't give it to him. I wanted to. Just couldn't. And then he left."

You've been there. Except you never liked those humans in the first place.

"A new human found me. Left me for a while. She's explained it. I don't really mind. She doesn't want anything from me. Just lets me lie in the sun and eat her food. All I have to do is sometimes sit in her lap and let her pet me."

"And that's all you want?" you ask. "You don't even want to be loved? Feared?"

"She won't shove me away. That's a good start. I can figure out love later." He swishes his leaf. You cringe away on instinct. It's cut you deep a few times. "I teach people who attack me not to do it. They learn. I don't need to remind them."

"So you don't do anything and don't care about being loved?" How predictably eevee.

He just stares at you before settling back down on his side. "How has doing everything and obsessing over it worked for you? Are you happy, yet?"

Your fur puffs up and a low growl leaves your mouth before you can consciously think about whether you want a fight or not. The eevee ignores it. And you want to pounce. Even if your scars scream not to.

"You have a trainer that won't send you away however much you mess up. That's a lot better than I got first time around. Just relax. Heal. Make friends. You have the time. Vulpix live very long lives, right?"

You have no idea where he heard that. But, yes, you will outlive that stupid plant and every other eevee. If you evolve. And maybe if you don't.

If you stay you'll probably tear the eevee's throat out and Skysong's mate will be upset. Best to leave. You turn around with a very dignified huff and walk back towards Skysong and the cold air of your ball. You'll show him. You'll find purpose and love while he's just sitting around doing nothing.

Somehow. Still not sure how you're going to do it. But you will! If only to prove that smug eevee wrong.