Dawn hesitated before knocking on Xander's door. She knew he'd left for work already and she knew Jean was already here ready to see and assess people. She knew because she'd called her and talked to her. But she was still scared and she knew she needed help and she wasn't going to get it from Buffy or Giles. Both would just tell her get over it or deal with it and move on. Though Buffy never seemed to deal with anything really. Which was part of the problem.
Jean Grey opened the door and waved Dawn into the apartment. 'Wow.' Dawn thought. 'I see why she was a model before she got involved with the X - Men, she's beautiful.'
"Before I start." Dawn said. "I need to tell you that my being here might be a problem. Buffy is my guardian until I'm eighteen and I don't have her permission to see a therapist or anything."
"Then let's call this a get to know you meeting. If we decide that you do need to actually see a therapist, we can get Social Services to intervene."
"I don't know if that would work as an excuse. Just because you're here to help the Potentials, doesn't mean you're here to help me by extension."
"Dawn, we can because I requested this assignment because of Xander. You see, I'm one of his genetic mothers. Like Logan, I want to get to know him and his friends. And that includes you."
"He told me about that, about you and Logan being related to him. So yeah, I guess that works. Okay, here's the issue or one of them. I was created less then two years ago by the Monks of Dagan on purpose. They made me a repository for this energy that can open dimensional gates. They gave me to Buffy and created memories in everyone of me having always been here. But I haven't been. A couple of days ago, Faith apologized to me for something that didn't actually happen. We both know it didn't happen, but we also both have feelings associated with that memory. Every memory I have prior to the day I became part of Buffy's life is fake, for all of us."
"Xander never mentioned this to us. He came to us for help with what Willow did to them, he never mentioned someone else interfered with your memories. I need to find out if the team already here has found out about this. It needs to be investigated. Memory alteration on that level could cause an enormous amount of damage."
"Why do you think Xander didn't mention it you?"
"Probably because he isn't angry about it. He's angry about what Willow did. I don't think he realized these monks did the same thing on a grander scale. He accepts you as is, but at a subconscious level, he kept fighting against what Willow did. Either that means they suppressed his ability to feel anything negative about the situation or he cares about you as a person, as a friend, enough to recognize that he's grateful you're apart of his life regardless of how you came to be apart of it."
"We talked not long go, just after we found Amanda, a Potential living here in Sunnydale. See we thought I was the Potential, I thought I was all special and Chosen. He told me I'm not special, I'm extraordinary and that, that's better."
"So he's made up his mind for himself, based on the information he has available to him, that you matter to him. That you're his friend and that the rest, isn't an issue for him."
"But it is for me. Most of what I am was created by those Monks. I don't know who I am apart from that. I'm not actually Buffy's sister, they made us believe that. I never actually idolized Cordelia or actually had a crush on Xander. I remember those things and remember the feelings associated with those memories, but someone created them and stuffed them in my head. I remember enjoying chess with Willow and liking school. But do I really enjoy them myself or just because someone basically told me I did?"
"You need to figure those things out for yourself. I'm not saying do it by yourself. I'm saying figure out if you actually enjoy playing chess or school. Who you really have a crush on and choose for yourself who to idolize. Create your own version of Dawn Summers, not someone else's version of who Dawn Summers is. And if people won't support your efforts at self discovery, then it's their problem, not yours. You're human and real, as in you have a physical presence and a soul, with the capacity to know right from wrong. Which means you have the basic rights of any human being, which includes the right to understand yourself. And those that do love and accept you, will help and support you."
"And that brings me to another problem, I'm not sure Buffy would. See, aside from one time when Willow tried to end the world, Buffy pretty much acts like I barely exist. She fought really hard to protect me and she died protecting me. And then Willow resurrected her and Buffy came back barely noticing I exist. Was it because of her being traumatized or because she came back not caring about me? I just don't know."
"Why don't you know?"
"Because she never hugs me, never says she loves me and almost never seems to notice I exist. And it makes me wonder if I do, because the monks gave her more memories of me then anyone else."