23

Natsu sat at the bar, eating a stack of pancakes. He wrapped his fingers around a glass of milk and lifted it to his lips. He took two gulps before a beer mug splintered on his head. Milk sprayed his remaining pancakes and counter.

When the dragon slayer recovered, he saw his pancakes were soggy. A quiet whine was heard. Natsu realized it was him after he processed the fate of his breakfast. He hadn't had pancakes for four months, and now they were ruined!

Natsu growled, teeth grinding together. He spun around and roared, "GRAY!"

Gray turned to him with an annoyed expression. "What, flamebrain?"

"Don't play dumb! I know it was you who threw that mug at me!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

With shoulders shaking, Natsu shot to his feet and charged at the ice mage. He bulldozed his target, knocking them both to the ground. The dragon slayer raised his fist, but Gray kicked him off. Natsu crashed into the closet table. He felt something squishy under him but ignored it. He would come to regret that later.

More people joined the brawl, with Natsu and Gray in the center. The fire dragon slayer dodged an ice-make lance, but he froze shortly after. He didn't freeze because of the cold but instead felt death looming over him.

Gray was inches from landing a punch on Natsu, but his eyes bulged. Natsu could tell the teen was looking at something behind him - something from a horror movie.

Natsu turned, his body trembling. A soul-devouring glare met his eyes. What did he do to anger the monster?

"You destroyed my strawberry cake," Erza stated, drilling the fear deeper into Natsu's bones.

That was when he smelled the sweet scent on his back. The squishy item from earlier was the mentioned dessert. Blood drained from his face.

"I'm...sorry...?" Natsu stuttered, but Erza slammed her fist atop his skull, earning a shout.

"That's enough!" The guild turned their stiff posture to the voice of their master. "Most of you are adults, but you still act like a bunch of unruly children! Look what you did to the guildhall! It's a wreck! I want you all to clean this up and take a job from the board."

"But Natsu started it!" Someone exclaimed, resulting in Natsu giving them a betrayed look.

"I don't care who started it! Get to cleaning!"

"Yes, Sir!"

Natsu whined but got to work on cleaning the guild. He heard complaints from his fellow guildmates, but one sharp look from Makarov silenced them.

The dragon slayer bent down to pick up broken bits of wood. He was positive it used to be a chair, but the metal piece beside it threw him off. He shrugged his shoulder and grasped the metal. As he stood straight, his head bumped into something that felt hard.

Natsu jerked forward and clenched his teeth while rubbing his sore head. He turned to glare at the culprit, pausing when he saw it wasn't a person. What he hit his head on was a radio. It hung from a rope tied to the ceiling. He couldn't see who lowered it, but he could smell them.

Fear gripped Natsu's limbs when his eyes met a folded note. It sat innocently on the radio, but Natsu knew better. He glared at it, willing it to catch fire with his eyes alone.

A scoff from Natsu's left informed him that Gray got impatient. The ice-make mage snatched the note from the radio and read aloud.

"There are 12 hours worth of songs on the tape. You will jam to each one whether you want to or not. -Zeref

PS. Your appearance will also change to fit the song."

Natsu felt his breath leave his body and refuse to return. 'What songs are on that thing the Devil calls a radio?!'

A shift in the device was his only warning. Music began to play, and lyrics were sung. Natsu was ashamed to have recognized it.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic"

Horror filled the dragon slayer. His body felt cold like Gray trapped him in the glacier that sunk the Titanic. Wait, that's not right. Natsu realized his body was moving to the rhythm, allowing him to catch a glimpse of his arm. It was shiny and looked like wax.

"You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party"

Someone kill him. Natsu had looked down at his body and had seen the pink dress he was in. He looked like a doll!

"I'm a blonde bimbo girl in a fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky"

'Bimbo? That sounds like an insult!' Natsu thought as his hips swayed to the annoying music against his will. 'Also, where are they kissing?! Who wrote this song?'

"You can touch
You can play
If you say, "I'm always yours" (ooh, oh)"

"Barbies are supposed to be for little girls, right?" Natsu questioned over the loud music and laughing friends. Lucy nodded her head in answer. "Then why does this sound so wrong?!"

"Come on, Barbie, let's go party (ah ah ah yeah)
Come on, Barbie, let's go party (ooh oh, ooh oh)
Come on, Barbie, let's go party (ah ah ah yeah)
Come on, Barbie, let's go party (ooh oh, ooh oh)"

The way this line was said sent creepy chills down Natsu's spine. He felt like he needed an adult.

"Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party"

"This is a terrible message to girls!" Natsu shouted. "It's like telling them to be a doll and let the man control your life because you don't matter!"

"That's what I said!" Lucy and Mirajane agreed, sounding offended. Natsu wondered if Zeref knew the lyrics before he put it on the radio.

(Zeref was hiding in the rafter while watching Natsu dance. He held a camera, recording his brother's misfortune. As the song played, he realized his mistake. He didn't know the words to the song until now. 'This song is an insult to the female population. It was clearly a guy who wrote this because no sane woman would ever allow this to be a thing. That guy better pray the women don't find him.')

The song kept going, forcing Natsu to dance to it. When it was finally over, the dragon slayer fell on his butt. A tidal wave of relief washed over him.

"You're not done, Natsu," said Gray with a giant grin splitting his cheeks. "Remember Zeref said 12 hours worth of songs!"

"I'm going to kill him..." Natsu growled as he heard the next song play.

"Ring ring ring...ring bananaphone
Ring ring ring...ring bananaphone
I've got this feeling, so appealing, for us to get together and sing. Sing!"

'Great, now he's just trying to make me insane!' Natsu thought as he stood up and started dancing like the banana in the music video meme. Oh, would you look at that, Natsu looked like that same banana! Big, white pompom hands, skinny arms and legs, and big shoes. He was in a Banana costume with his face sticking out of the front.

After the song ended, Baby Shark began. Break dancing in a Shark onesie was harder than one could imagine. The other songs Natsu had to dance to were: What Does the Fox Say, Call Me Maybe, Gummy Bear, Never Going to Give You Up, and The Duck Song.

Natsu didn't understand why the second to last song was on the list. It sounded fine, nothing was wrong with it. That was until Gray said something about being Rick Rolled, whatever that meant.

The list of songs was finally over, and Natsu dropped onto his back. It hurt hitting the hardwood floor, but the cool feeling from it made the pain worth it. It soothed his aching limbs and dragged him deep into the darkness of his unconsciousness.

Well, I wish I could roast that Barbie song more, but I have no words.

Natsu: Are you saying it ticked you off so bad that it made you speechless?

Enj/Dark: YES! As a woman, I took offense. I'm not blonde, but Barbie described her friends as Bimbos too! There is a burnet in there.

Zeref: The song was written a long time ago. Didn't most girls act "random" during that time?

Enj/Dark: I don't know, I was a year old when it came out. However, my sister is older than me and doesn't act "random." If anything, most girls act like they don't care nowadays. Where is their womanly pride?

Natsu: I'm sure some women feel the same way as you do about the song.

Enj/Dark: I hope so! If they don't then they have no pride!

Zeref: Before Enjali really loses it, please review!

Natsu: Also, leave suggestions for pranks for Zeref. We're hitting him with everything in the last chapter! 😆

Zeref: Leave some prank ideas for Natsu as well. What should I do to him next? 😈