Frank made the simple mistake of walking two feet away from his girlfriend and Pluto.
Mars barrels right into Frank's bubble with a crossbow aimed at his throat. Frank, even more on edge after the war, awkwardly squirms away whilst trying to block. After a couple of moments of this awkward dance, Frank lifts his gaze from the pointy object at his throat. Only to meet his father's unimpressed one.
"It was just a joke. You need to lighten up son."
Frank scowls at his father. Lighten up? How could he be expected to just lighten up? His friends and him were all very nearly slaughtered on multiple occasions, fighting giants and questing to find said giants in the first place. To Frank's growing aggravation, Mars just laughs in his face.
"If only you could see your own face right now."
It's really a shame gods don't become elderly or I would stick him in a nursing home.
"Okay. You're obviously not in a joking mood. I just wanted to show off my new toy."
"It's a crossbow." Frank says dryly.
"Yeah. Some kid showed me there is nothing unmanly with maiming the enemy from a distance."
Those aren't necessarily the words Frank would use to describe his art form, but maybe he should wholeheartedly accept his dad's praise. But something is fundamentally wrong here.
Mars blabbers on about war, bloodshed, and gore. Frank doesn't make out the specific words as they wash over him impassively.
"Hold on." Frank says in a near whisper. Too quiet for his dad to hear. "Hold on!" He screams.
Mars pauses, not at all used to being yelled at by a demigod and especially not by one of his children.
"It took 'some kid' to show you how useful archery could be? I'm 'some kid'! You have somehow managed to minimize what my friend and I have accomplished. I'm more than only 'some kid' and my friends are more than children!"
"It's true. I'm 86 years old. Your son is dating an old woman. And my brother is 82." Hazel says, linking her arm protectively with Frank's."
When Frank calms down enough, he half expects Mars to smite him and Hazel for their blatant disrespect.
Mars' face is a mask, but the silence that fills their small bubble is deadly.
Shockingly Mars bursts into full fits of laughter. "You got gumption, Zhang, and a pretty lady on your arm. Tell you what. I'll let this indiscretion go, if you promise me archery lessons."
"Archery lessons. From me. For you?" Frank stutters.
"Don't make me say it twice. But I will. 'The mighty war god needs archery lessons, because he's a big jerk,' Mars mocks.
Both Frank and Hazel laugh. "So dad, when do you want to start?"
"How about now? I want to see more of this Greek camp."
"Fine dad. Remember, no maiming anybody."
"Not even Roman style?"
"Especially not Roman style."
Leo can't believe his luck. Somehow he avoided any trouble with the gods. Leo shudders to think of his legacy to be the first and only demigod in history to be smited by Hestia.
He still keeps his distance from the crowd and fiddles with loose parts. He may not be in any trouble because the gods were reasonable today. But he isn't taking any chances.
Before he knows it, he's bouncing a doll sized pogo stick on the floor absentmindedly. He allows himself to zone out, and accidentally holds the spring down longer than he intended.
"Leo."
"Gah! I mean hi dad." The sudden appearance of his father causes his hand to slip and the pogo stick to launch out the window. Seriously. How did the only god with a prosthetic leg sneak up on me?
"Hey, that was cool. You should go into toy making. I mean I need to talk to you about something important. I saw what you did with that pipecleaner helicopter, but about Pandora… What would you call your toyshop-"
Leo cuts him off. "That is a really great idea, if I even live that long. You know, with being a demigod and all.* Wow. Okay. Leo did not mean to sound so bitter. Not to his own dad.
Hephaestus remains unfazed. "That reminds me. I have a present for you, but don't tell Zeus."
"Yeah, dad. Because Zeus and I are total besties."
The stoic god of the forge cracks a dry smile. Then a black, greek war helmet appears in his hand. It sort of looks like…
"Is that Hades' Helm of Darkness?" Leo is backing away, not really wanting to touch it. He remembers Percy filling him in on the whole Masterbolt episode. How would his father even gotten past the furies?
"I only modeled it after the Helm of Darkness. Try it on."
Leo tentative places the helmet on his head. Instantly everything comes into focus, and for the first time he feels like his own master.
"Thanks to Lady Hecate's enchantment the helm should keep Pandora out of your head, and as a bonus it has a built in invisibility feature and feels practically weightless." Hepheastus explains.
The exitement Leo feels now is akin to what he felt when he had been admiring the architecture of Aeolus' ice bridge. This helmet is the first present his dad had ever given him and the only thing that could ruin this moment…
"- Jason can live with being Leo's noble steed."
Is out-of-context Percy, but if it wasn't for that Leo wouldn't have felt the growing heat around him. Actually Leo feels like he's on fire.
"That's not normal for my children, right?"
Leo looks down in horrified realization. Now that horrorfied realization becomes a feeling of startlement. And it is this precise feeling of startlement that causes Leo to launch the fireball that sets the gods at eachother's throats again.
"Well, I ought to be getting back to my forge but let me help you with that first."
And that's how Leo found himself in the Canoe Lake with soaking pants, surrounded by giggling naiads.