Elizabeth took one last bite of pancake and put her fork down. "I can't eat another bite," she said, leaning back in her chair.
Rebecca smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on now, I thought you said you were hungry."
Elizabeth said, "That's the biggest breakfast I've seen in a long time..." she put her hands over her stomach, laughing. "...and I live over a Café."
Rebecca nodded. "I suppose I am used to feeding ranch hands. Those boys can put it away." Taking a long sip of her coffee, Rebecca looked at the Christmas tree. "I can't remember if Nathan has ever had his own tree at Christmas," she said.
Elizabeth smiled. "He wanted one for Allie. We all went out together and he chopped it down, and then we decorated it. I had my sister send some of the hundreds of ornaments my mother doesn't even know she has, and Nathan made the rest in his woodshop." Elizabeth pointed at the carved birds that he had hung on red and green strings, and gazed at them, smiling.
Rebecca wasn't looking at the ornaments. She was looking at Elizabeth. "Good," she said softly, as Elizabeth turned to her and tilted her head. "You love him just as much as he loves you."
Elizabeth looked over at Nathan who was lying on the floor with Allie in front of her dollhouse. Allie had changed all of the hats around on the dolls, and one of them had made its way to Nathan's head. He was making faces at her, and she was dissolving into giggles.
"I do love him so much, Rebecca," Elizabeth said, looking back at Nathan. "And I believe we love each other equally." She turned. "That's rare, isn't it?"
Rebecca nodded. "Oh, you bet it is. Rare as rubies."
Elizabeth reached for the coffee pot and was reminded of her new charm bracelet by the sparkle and the soft sound it made. Instead of picking up the pot, she held her wrist up and looked at it, as she had dozens of times since Nathan had closed the clasp and kissed it.
She couldn't help smiling again at the tiny stagecoach, then the apple, and finally the angel, which still made her heart feel so full it might burst. She shook her head. "How did he ever get the idea to do this?" she said, half to Rebecca and half to herself.
"I can tell you, but I don't want you to think it's any less special that he picked that out for you. In fact, you should think you're very special," Rebecca said, looking over the rim of her teacup.
Elizabeth frowned a little. "Why would I think it was less special? I can't think of a more personal gift." She peered into Rebecca's eyes and they were so blue, like Nathan's, that she knew Rebecca was feeling something intense, though she looked calm. And in a flash, Elizabeth knew what it was. Colleen. The person that Rebecca and Nathan had both lost.
Smiling, Elizabeth said, "His sister had one of these, didn't she?"
Rebecca took Elizabeth's hand on the table and held the apple charm gently between her fingers. "Every year from the time she was thirteen, we would give Colleen a charm. It got so from about November, it was a guessing game with her." Rebecca laughed softly. "It had to be very personal, each year, so sometimes she guessed right..."
Elizabeth saw tears begin in Rebecca's eyes and she moved closer. "We don't have to talk about this, Rebecca..."
Rebecca shook her head. "Oh, I talk about it as much as I can. That's the only way for me to make sense of it." She looked over at Nathan and Allie, now rearranging the tiny furniture in the rooms. "I worry about those two, though. Nathan's never been much of a talker as a rule, and Allie's still too young to put those big feelings into words." She turned back to Elizabeth. "But you're good for them. I can see it already. I read it in Nathan's letters, and I just had to come see for myself."
Elizabeth smiled back at her. "I'm so glad you're here, Rebecca. It's clear how much Nathan and Allie love being with you at Christmas."
Rebecca smiled and then looked down again. She turned the silver angel between her fingers. "This was a good choice for you." She looked back at Elizabeth. "That little girl wants a mother, and she already loves you." Rebecca let go of the charm and moved her hands over to Elizabeth's left hand.
Smiling, Rebecca said, "He had to have this sized down, didn't he? It must have been too big for your pretty finger."
Elizabeth laughed softly, "Not too big." She turned the ring in the light. "I love this ring," she said.
Rebecca grinned. "So did I. But the one who really loved it was my Grandma Penny. She and my grandfather were married for over sixty years and she never took it off as far as I know, until she gave it to me. Women used to be buried with their wedding rings back then, and she wanted this one to have another life." Rebecca smiled at Elizabeth warmly. "I didn't really do it justice. But you will."
Elizabeth moved her hand unconsciously to her heart, covering it with her right hand. "We will. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
They both looked over and Nathan was sitting up, gazing at them with his eyes narrowed. "Why does it make me nervous that the two of you are sitting there with your heads together?" He raised an eyebrow, "She's not telling you about that time I put a snake in Colleen's room, is she?"
Rebecca laughed. "I wasn't, but now I will."
Nathan stood up and came to sit next to Elizabeth, shaking his head. "It was a bull snake. They don't even have venom." Nathan's dining room table had benches instead of chairs, so he was able to scoot in next to Elizabeth and put his arm around her. She leaned back a little and looked at him, her eyes wide.
"Nathan. A snake?" Elizabeth said.
Laughing, Nathan said, "Believe me, Colleen deserved it. She had a bad habit of nailing my shirt to a fencepost and leaving me with the choice of either walking home barechested, or ripping it and dealing with this one's wrath," he said, looking at his mother.
Elizabeth laughed too. "With my sisters, it was spiders in my bed and substituting salt for the sugar. I guess I had it pretty easy, considering."
"Uncle Nathan," Allie called out, "Mary's stuck in the window."
Nathan kissed Elizabeth quickly on the cheek. "Doll emergency," he said, "Mountie to the rescue." Nathan wiggled his eyebrows dramatically, making them both laugh.
As he walked toward Allie, Rebecca released a large breath, and Elizabeth turned. "What is it?" Elizabeth said, slightly alarmed.
"He hasn't told a story and laughed about his sister since the day we put her to rest in the graveyard on the hill in Airdrie." Rebecca took Elizabeth's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Bless you, Elizabeth."
There were still packages under the tree. The dollhouse was finally latched with the promise that Allie could play with it again after her nap. But before Rebecca took her upstairs to continue reading The Wind in the Willows to her, they finished opening the last remaining presents.
Allie took charge of distributing the packages, and since she could now recognize the difference between an N and an E and an A, she was surprisingly good at getting them to the right person. Nathan's gift to his mother, a new wooden kitchen cutting board, had "Mom" written on it, and for a moment, Allie stood frowning in the middle of the room. Nathan helped her with that one.
Elizabeth and Nathan were sitting together on the floor by the tree and Allie handed Nathan a flat package. He read the card and looked at Elizabeth. "What's this?" he said, tilting his head at her.
"Open it and find out," Elizabeth said, smiling.
When Nathan removed the paper, he found a photograph in a lovely wooden frame, and his eyes glistened as he studied it. It was a picture of Elizabeth astride Sarah, and she had Allie sitting in front of her in the saddle. Both had enormous smiles on their faces, and behind them were the tall stands of trees that bordered the meadow. Nathan turned the photo so that Rebecca could see it from her chair on the other side of the Christmas tree. Then he turned it back and looked closely at it.
"Is that..." Nathan looked at Elizabeth with such love in his eyes that she could hardly breathe.
"Yes. It's our land. We're standing right where we're going to build the house," she said, placing her hand on the side of his face.
Allie moved closer and put her finger on the glass covering the photo. "That's me," she said, grinning. "I rode Sarah with 'Lizabeth."
Elizabeth laughed. "Not very far, honey. Just for the picture," she said, looking at Nathan's raised eyebrow.
Nathan couldn't stop looking at it, mesmerized by the photo. It was in perfect focus. There was snow on the ground and Elizabeth wore her white wool beret that he loved so much. Allie was holding the reins along with her, and had a look of absolute joy on her face.
"Who took this?" Nathan asked softly.
"Bill," Elizabeth said. "With the camera he uses as an inspector." Elizabeth moved her hand tenderly through the hair at Nathan's forehead. "He said he liked the subject matter a lot more than what he usually photographs," she said, laughing softly.
Nathan looked first at Allie and then at Elizabeth. "I don't know how to tell you how much I love this," he said, his voice choking a little. He put down the frame and wrapped his arms around both of them, pulling them into a hug. As he did, he looked over Allie's shoulder at Rebecca, who had her feet tucked up under her in the soft living room chair. Her hand was at her mouth, and even from a distance, he could see the tear slide slowly down her wrinkled cheek.
Allie, ever impatient, pulled away and said, "I have a picture too!" Then her eyes went wide and she said, "Oh, Emily's mom said it was 'sposed to be a surprise." She ran back to the tree and pulled out a cylindrical package with a ribbon bow on it. She brought it back to Nathan and Elizabeth.
Nathan raised his eyebrows, taking it. "Who's it for?" he asked Allie.
"Both," she said, grinning. Then she looked at Elizabeth and said, "All of us."
Nathan handed the package to Elizabeth and said, "You get the honors." He'd been holding her hand and he gave it a quick kiss and released it so she could take the wrapping off.
Elizabeth looked at Allie. "This is beautiful paper, Allie." It was plain brown paper, but it had the type of drawings Elizabeth had seen Allie make so often in her classroom.
"Emily's mom helped," Allie said, her eyes bright. "She wrapped."
Rebecca watched, every once in a while wiping her cheek. Since March, and what they had simply referred to so many times as "the accident," she had wondered how Nathan and Allie would begin to live again.
Of course, Rebecca had her own grief and regrets, her own secret places where she spoke to Colleen and held her in her heart. But Nathan's grief had been so fathomless, his regret so complete, that there hadn't really been room for hers. Now, seeing her son's happiness, and witnessing the perfect and pure affection Allie had for Elizabeth, Rebecca's thoughts could focus on her own pain.
And all Rebecca could think was, Colleen would have loved this. Rebecca was no stranger to heartache, and she'd learned in life that the more she faced it head-on, the faster she got through it. Losing a daughter had shattered her heart, but as she watched Allie, Nathan and Elizabeth laughing, Rebecca began to feel her heart stitching together, the pieces gravitating back to an approximation of wholeness.
As Elizabeth carefully unwrapped the package, preserving the paper with Allie's scribbles, she began to see that it was another drawing, rolled up. It was of the three of them, and Nathan and Elizabeth peered closely at it.
At the center was Nathan in his red serge, holding the reins to Newton. Beside him was Elizabeth, with long brown hair and a robins' egg blue skirt, holding Sarah's reins. Between them with her arms up holding their hands, was Allie.
But what caused Nathan and Elizabeth to look at each other with suddenly tear-filled eyes was an angel up in the blue sky next to a cheerily yellow sun.
She had hair the deep brown color of Nathan's, and she was waving and smiling.