I'm OK but I'm Not
Barry made his way up the old, spiral staircase to Dr. Fletcher's office. He took a deep breath, allowing his heart to slow before he knocked on the door. He had been anxious to talk to Dr. Fletcher since yesterday, after meeting Yugen. Barry looked down at the floor and the corner of his mouth twitched, feeling a twinge of self-pity for having to ask a psychologist for relationship advice. Those feelings were quickly put to rest when Dr. Fletcher answered the door.
"Barry, it's good to see you again!" Dr. Fletcher welcomed him with a warm, grandmotherly smile.
"You too, Doctor." Barry smiled back, trying his best to stifle his anxiousness, which Dr. Fletcher noticed immediately.
"Come on in," she gestured kindly.
"So, what's on your mind? And please, start from the beginning." Dr. Fletcher inquired as she clasped her hands in her lap.
"Um well...Friday after work I decided to check out this place called Java Art Cafe, it's a cozy fairly new coffee shop with local art all over the place!" Barry vivaciously explains, elation quite evident in his voice. "And uh...well there was this piece that stood out to some of us," Barry finished.
"And what was this work of art composed of?" Dr. Fletcher curiously interjected.
"It was of a woman, a model I think. She had a barcode over her mouth and under it said Property of Society." Barry wiggled his eyebrows and gave Dr. Fletcher a tight smile, containing his passion for an artistically insightful woman.
"Hm...intriguing." Dr. Fletcher said plainly before she took in a small breath, cocked her head towards the ceiling in thought and continued, "a visual and tangible portrayal of someone bought and exploited...you should let me see it sometime." Dr. Fletcher stated with a small smile.
"I will," Barry said assuredly.
"You mentioned a girl in your email?" Dr. Fletcher questioned.
"Yeah, um it's actually a funny story! I asked the Barista to hang on to the painting for me and she said I had a week before she put it back on display, so that Tuesday I went back and the artist was there..." Barry thoughtfully considered his next words before he continued, "she uh, she had a way about her and...immediately I felt drawn to her."
Dr. Fletcher listened intently as Barry talked about his romantic interest. She felt delighted for Barry and proud that he's attempting to open up to someone other than her, but also felt genuine maternal concern for how this may affect him and the others.
"She sent me a text yesterday, inviting me to a show that she's playing at next week, but I didn't want to wait that long." Dr. Fletcher chuckled, amused by Barry's eagerness. "So I invited her to go out this weekend, but I wanted to talk to you first so I told her I would get back with her tonight."
There was a short pause in the conversation before Dr. Fletcher knowingly added, "There's more..."
"So...I'm uh, I'm worried about how this relationship will work, or even if it could work being as we are," Barry finished his revelation for the emergency meeting.
"I understand your concern, Barry. This is new for you, for all of you. All of us will work together on this, step by step." Dr. Fletcher holds up her index finger pointedly, "a bit of advice I can give you to take home today...take her someplace where you two can talk and have dinner. Do what you're good at, let the conversation flow naturally!" Dr. Fletcher smiled as she said the last sentence, it was the main reason she liked Barry after all. "After the date, email me and we'll schedule another appointment. Okay?" Dr. Fletcher finished.
"Sounds good," Barry replied as he nodded his head in understanding.
They both stood from their seats, as Dr. Fletcher walked Barry to the door she adds in, "If you it's any consolation to you, I'd say it's a very good sign that she texted you first!"
Barry looks down blushing then looks at Dr. Fletcher with a smile and retorts, "I know I'm not stupid!"
Barry and Dr. Fletcher stand in the doorway laughing together before Barry skips downs the steps, feeling much lighter than he did previously.
Yugen sat at her white wooden ladder desk, writing an article for the Philadelphia Weekly. When she finished, she saved the document to go back and edit later. She wrote on a sticky note Remember Article, knowing she had a spacey memory.
Yugen checked the time on her phone, 8:45…
She stood from the hard white desk chair, yawning as she lifted her arms in the air, relishing the full body stretch. Her pink floral skull pajamas hung low at her hips and her silky light pink cami rode up, allowing her iridescent black cat belly ring to poke out. Yugen sighed loudly then walked over to the couch, opening up the gray ottoman where she kept her stash. She had a busy day of dog walks, drop-in visits, running errands, and spent the last hour in a half writing—she finally had an opportunity to sit back and be mindless. Yugen turned on the TV, then rolled a fat joint. Once the spit dried, she inhaled the sweet indica, then exhaled as she melted into the couch. Yugen didn't smoke pot often, but after an overwhelming day or a long busy week—she just wanted to think and feel nothing.
For most of the day, Yugen had a hard time focusing. It was getting late and she still hadn't heard from Barry, she felt worried that she had been too awkward and weird when she messaged him. Although Yugen was very critical of herself, it didn't stop her from doing it. Then after torturing herself, she tortures herself even further by beating herself up—just like her mother did. It was a vicious cycle that Yugen had to try hard to distract herself from, which is part of why she had such a diversity of talents. Her mom and her grandparents had a fondness, as well as an exceptional talent for the arts. Anything from writing to music they encouraged—which was strange because her granddad owned a chain of Tex-Mex restaurants, her grandma was a real estate agent, and her mom was a simple secretary.
Yugens phone went off and she snapped out of her daze—averting her eyes from the TV to the device on the table. She peeled herself from the couch and picked up her phone, her eyes went wide when she saw Barry's name on the screen.
"Whoa...he's calling me like...right now..." Yugen thought to herself, she took a deep breath in an attempt to focus, then hesitantly answered the phone.
"Hey, Barry, what's up?"
"I'm pretty good, baby girl. How are you?"
"I'm pretty good...just chillin. Have you decided on this weekend?" Yugen cut to the chase, ending the small talk. She did not like being stoned and social.
"Yes, I have! Have you ever heard of a restaurant called Bistro Romano?" Barry replied confidently.
"Yeah, I've never been though. I hear the atmosphere is really nice and the foods really good..."
"It is! The pasta is to die for! How does Saturday sound?" Barry breaks in, keenness evident in his tone.
Yugen smiled at this, "Saturday sounds great! What time?"
"7 pm?"
"Perfect, I'll meet you there."
"Alright love, take care."
"You too, nighty night." Yugen cooed.
Yugen hung up and sat back on the couch, feeling excited for the weekend like a giddy, teenage girl.
The first thing Barry did when he got back in the light was make a PB&J sandwich, it had been hours since he had anything to eat, and he promised BT and Samuel could have the light after the meeting with Dr. Fletcher. Barry wasn't entirely sure what they did in the light—but he knew it involved working out, beer, and video diaries.
While he ate his sandwich, he contemplated whether he should call or text Yugen. He thought about her voice, her sense of humor, her laugh, her smile—he really loved her smile. Once Barry finished his food, he decided to call her. Yugen sounded a bit hazy and out of character, but he let it slide and assumed her to be more talkative in person.
Barry felt animated when he hung up the phone, but it didn't take long for anxiety to kick in.
'What if she doesn't show up?'
'What if she doesn't like us?'
'What if she's trying to trick us?'
Barry pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed the sides of his temples, as the chatter from the others became more indistinct.
"Everyone calm down! We're just going to have to find out all of this on Saturday!" Barry sighed with frustration, he picked up his plate and took it to the sink to wash it, uncertain about how long he could go without telling Yugen about the others.
RECOMMENDED SONG: Skrillex-Scary monsters and nice sprites
enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter5/