One year later...
It was a clear, bright day in Jump City. Spring had begun to overthrow winter and the flowers were thriving.
But the flowers of significance for a group of superheroes that day was a bouquet of purple gladioli placed on top of a dark phthalo green casket. The coffin was being lowered into its final resting place, its burial ground, surrounded by Titans and friends dressed in mournful black.
Although he likely would have preferred a less depressing color for his funeral, it was out of utmost respect for the deceased changeling.
It had been an emotionally tolling day for the heroes, attending the hours-long funeral procession and now about to say their final goodbyes to Garfield Mark Logan. As the day progressed, the tears and whimpers gradually grew prominent. For a lot of them, the sinking of the casket mirrored the sinking in of this new reality. This reality that Gar was no longer with them.
The funeral director signalled the pallbearers to begin Gar's final descent, and gave a firm nod to Robin and Starfire, who were at the forefront of the mourners.
The couple took a step forward, Robin carrying a small open urn of soil.
"It's been the greatest privilege saving lives with you," Robin spoke. "Thank you for being a hero, but most of all, a brother and a friend. They say only the good die young, but your good deeds live on forever."
Robin grabbed a handful of soil and tossed it on to Gar's casket. Dusting his palm clean, he wrapped a comforting arm around the tearful Starfire. She had been unable to fly the entire day, for there was no joy she could muster.
"You always put on the bravest face with the widest grin, comrade and friend," she said in between emotional breaths. "I am sure now you are free to smile forever. Rakh X'hal Rrakhum, Beast Boy. Godspeed and long live. As part of my remembrance of you, I shall honor the promise I gave."
Starfire repeated Robin's soil-throwing maneuver. Having done getting the final ball rolling, Robin passed the urn to the next in line, Cyborg and Bumblebee, as Starfire wept in her boyfriend's arms.
"You were the most amazing best friend anyone could ever ask for," Cyborg said as he tossed the soil and handed the urn to Bumblebee. "And now you get to live up to your name as an eternal Grass Stain..."
Bumblebee looked up at her boyfriend, his human eye starting to well up.
"I'll miss ya, bud!" he blurted out as he finally bursted into tears, Bumblebee embracing him to give him something to hold on to. She knew he'd been holding it all in all day, prepared to be there for him when he could no longer contain himself. "I'm so sorry, Gar."
"We'll never forget you, Beastie," Bumblebee murmured her regards as she tossed the soil and helped the wailing Cyborg walk back into the crowd of grievers. Bumblebee searched for the next person in line, and found a pale Raven.
Tentatively, she offered the urn to the withdrawn empath, who was emotionlessly watching the coffin sink lower and lower.
Raven was the only one there who opted not to be in a classic Earthling funeral attire, instead opting for the Azarathian grieving garb - a black hooded cloak. Her decision was mainly so that she could continue concealing her face, but that really wasn't hiding anything from anyone. They knew too well what she was truly feeling. If, she was feeling anything at all.
Bumblebee allowed Cyborg to walk on his own towards Robin and Starfire as she now placed a comforting hand on Raven's shoulder.
"Let me go there with you, Raven," Bumblebee offered. "He'd want you to say goodbye one last time."
"We can go with you, Raven," the woman behind Raven offered as well, the woman being Rita, or Elasti-Girl of Doom Patrol fame, with Mento beside her.
Bumblebee passed the urn to Elasti-Girl, who had her eyes on Raven, kindly trying to encourage her to go with them.
Raven's three concerned best friends watched the interaction pan out.
"You go first," Raven uttered quietly. "I'm not ready. My numbing spell hasn't fully settled in."
Mento looked to Robin, seeking his recommendation. Robin gave an affirmative nod, and the Doom Patrol pair walked to Gar's gravesite, without Raven, but acknowledging her sympathetically.
Raven continued standing, now out of the line, by herself watching the concealed coffin being buried.
The past few months had been hard for the Titans, but Raven especially. If the eulogy and the funeral service weren't depressing enough, this was the final nail, quite literally. She thought she herself embodied the meaning of 'depressing' given her history and overall demeanor.
But, this felt completely different from her end-of-the-world prophecy. Back then, there was a set date for the end of times. In this instance, after years of being with Beast Boy, his surprising and slow, gradual and painstaking death blindsided her, and she didn't have all those years to prepare herself emotionally.
The entire funeral took hours, which felt like days, all leading up to these few seconds of lowering the coffin down the grave. This was the last time anyone would be able to see Gar's body.
It was a terribly sad day, and yet, she'd had to voluntarily cast a numbing spell on herself that day to simmer down her emotions so as to prevent her powers from causing disruption, when all she wanted to do all day was to shout and cry out. And even then, she could feel her grief sinking in as deep as that casket was.
It was the sickest, cruelest, most twisted joke in all of life. Raven wanted to pour her emotions out for her used-to-be forever pair bond, but she wasn't allowed to. She wasn't allowed to feel the loss of her love.
Robin, Starfire and Cyborg set their tears aside to approach Raven.
"You know you don't have to do this," Raven heard Robin say to her.
"We know how difficult this all is," Cyborg said. Each of them had been there before. This was not their first funeral for a loved one, albeit Starfire's Tamaranean rituals were slightly different.
Starfire tried to look Raven in the eye. "Yes, friend, we may go back inside the car and rest up. It is not a requirement to proceed this further anymore."
Raven's fists trembled, glowing black. She was feeling an array of emotions, and despite her prescriptions subduing her powers the entire day, their effects either seem to wear off or her emotions were starting to overpower them.
"I can't do any of this anymore," she murmured. "I'm leaving."
In spite of the spell, Raven teleported herself out of the gravesite, leaving her friends share worrisome looks.
Raven and her shroud arrived at her private base. It used to be hers and Gar's. However, over the past few months, it was just hers. And she'd made much required modifications to her living quarters.
Towards the beginning of Gar's extended hospitalization, refortifications were placed on the apartment after Raven reported the damages her emotionally charged powers had inflicted. Gar's gaming screen had been shattered. A wall had been cracked. The stove had been out of commission. It was a wreck.
All the walls, ceilings, and floors had been strengthened with Cyborg's use of a special metal alloy, enhanced with protective enchantments with help from the urban magic of Teen Titan Traci Thirteen. It had turned her place into some kind of sealed container.
The remodeling was requested by Raven. She wanted to protect the place from her literal emotional outbursts.
Her meditation room had been refurbished into a big white room. Anytime she felt particularly out of control, she could retreat into that room and the curses that had been cast in it would neutralise her chaotic energy, allowing minimal damage.
There was some irony in that her big white room idea was influenced by Starfire's fight against Time Warp in the future all those years ago. The prophecy that tore her apart the most ended up not being her father's, but instead a self-fulfiling one.
Raven had locked herself in upon arrival. Her tears were slow-dripping at first, but all of a sudden they wouldn't stop.
She let out a dire scream, her soul-self in the form of a shadow raven emerged out of her mouth and eyes, as black and somber as her attire.
Out of her screaming and the events of the day, one flashback stuck out in her mind at that moment.
Raven entered the hospital ward, catching Gar sitting on his bed instead of lying down on it.
Despite his ongoing deteriorating health condition, Gar sensed his girlfriend entering and hastily set aside the materials he had in hand.
"Morning, Raven!" Gar greeted cheerfully, his joy unfeigned despite his pain. He had been pricked and connected via tubes to numerous chemicals.
Raven eyed him disapprovingly.
"You need to lie down, Gar," she urged. "Doctor's orders. They've hesitantly granted your request to transfer you here from the laboratory bay, but on the condition that you remain on bedrest. They want you to be rested while the chemicals are flowing."
Gar groaned lightheartedly, obeying with a light sulk.
"Doctor Cyborg should know how much I hate feeling like a lab rat," he pouted. "At least here, I still get a city view."
Gar glanced out the window, masking his pain.
Raven held his ungloved hand, not caring that his sharp beastly nails had been untrimmed. They both had been vying for some kind of physical comfort between them. An assurance that they were both still believing for a remedy.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, her tone softened. "Are the... jitters... the discombobulation... Are they relapsing and occurring more often again, now that you're not in the lab's chemical container?"
Pathetically, Gar nodded his head. "I'm contracting my muscles just to hold my body together, Raven. It sucks. A lot. But, I refuse to be swimming in a test tube any longer like a pet fish.
"Sue me for wanting just a slither of freedom. Current scientific developments ain't helping. As much as Cyborg has been a huge help, I just rather not be caged. If it were a couch, maybe I'd reconsider..."
Gar sighed. Raven had never seen him more hopeless.
He continued, "He's done everything he can. Everyone has."
Gar pouted again, but in doing so it made his chin droop like melting wax. He held up his own mouth with his hand, keeping his face in place. He grumbled.
"I'm not letting a groin strain of all things be the one that takes me out..."
Deadpan, Raven muttered, "You're the only one insisting that that's what triggered your current state."
She studied his face. He was trying to appear nonchalant, that he wasn't too perturbed by his condition. But he wasn't convincing her.
"You're not giving up, right?" she asked. "Science and magic so far haven't found a solution, but there has to be a way. I didn't learn how to hope just to not try it out."
Gar feebly grabbed her hand. As she was studying him, he was studying her.
"All we have is hope for now... Raven, you look pale. You're stressed out by this."
Raven sighed. "I've been taking these... magicks that one of Doctor Fate's apprentices prescribed to me, while we're on the topic of doctors. It's suppressing my powers while allowing me to express my emotions. It doesn't feel good. And it feels very out-of-body. But, in these circumstances, it's helping."
Gar leaned forward towards her, his eyes gleaming.
"What?" she muttered.
"I miss our make-outs."
She couldn't help but roll her eyes at his remark. "You doofus."
The empath leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss on Gar's lips, the contact causing him to twitch and wince. Raven backed off immediately, highly cautious.
"We're not giving up on you, Gar. Please, do not give up."
Gar grinned with every fibre in his mouth muscles. "Till my last dying breath."
Raven frowned. Gar tittered.
"Sorry, bad joke, I know."
Raven stood up, taking her leave.
"I'll leave you to rest. We'll get through this."
The verdict had arrived months after that day. They did not get through it.
In their formerly shared accommodation, Raven had cut off all communication channels - save for the T-communicator - and had restricted all access points, locking herself in her big white room. To protect everyone from her rampant, emotionally-charged carnage. And, to gather herself to grieve by her lonesome.
She had held it altogether the past few months.
But, just like trying to fall asleep -
- Just like falling in love -
- And just like watching Gar die -
- The full wrath of Raven's emotions, at first had been slowly building up, had finally culminated all at once at that moment. She burst into tears and shrieked all the grief she'd bottled up. The emotions overpowered the numbing spell, and what was supposed to be a big white room became engulfed in her black shroud.
And she stayed like that for days. Weeks.
(A/N: Ok, I decided to post this chapter but also the next at the same time, because I don't want to leave the story hanging at this sadness for days. The next chapter is really where the main thread of the plot starts.
Plus, the next chapter is related to Raven's birthday, and the episode Birthmark was released around this day.)