(A/N: I'd say this is the last chapter of this 2nd act before diving into the final 3rd act. At some point in this chapter, the song Always Be My Baby will be sung - but it will be Mathew V's cover of it. I suggest you to play it when you come across that scene in the story. For all the feels!
Again, I don't own the song, and I don't own Mathew V's cover of it.
Now, I bring you, The Dance.)
Bumblebee had to double check the RSVP that came in, but she was glad to be able to see Raven again tonight.
Unfortunately for the Jump City Titans division, one of their new-wave gang of superpowered baddies was seen attempting to disrupt the peace downtown, causing them to be late or potentially not show up at all. Despite her insistences, the team refused Raven's offer of services.
Raven had been staring at her reflection for the past fifteen minutes, as if the longer she stared at herself in the yellow dance leotard, the less uncomfortable she'd feel in it.
And that tactic worked for a while at a time, until she'd bend down to put her shoes on, or to pick up something from the floor, and felt her attire shift, and so she'd return to the mirror to fix her look.
"You better enjoy this, Gar," she muttered to herself.
"Every second of it," commented the imaginary Beast Boy on the dresser playfully.
Beep! Beep!
Raven walked out to the living room, to find a dapper Aqualad on her security camera.
"Oooh, got a chaperone, I see," uttered Beast Boy.
Not wanting Raven to start off the festivities by herself, Bumblebee coaxed her fellow Titans East teammate Aqualad to be Raven's plus one. She reluctantly agreed, as she needed a fast transport to the other side of the country.
Raven cleaned up her look one last time in front of the mirror. She noticed on its reflection the camcorder on her bed. As per Gar's vid wishes, she was supposed to vlog her night, but the past few days she'd holed herself up in her home, avoiding the Internet and avoiding her newfound fans. Although, 'fans' might be too light a word choice.
Would she be letting Gar down if she were to not go through with the vlog? She cringed at the thought of having a camera in hand all throughout the event.
"Why the hesitation, Rae?" imaginary Beast Boy asked, sitting next to the camcorder.
Raven grunted. "The purpose of me recording was to push myself out of my comfort zone. Well, going to the gala in and of itself is out of my comfort zone, right? I think I can do without the video. It's the polite thing to do for Titans East. Plus, I don't want to potentially expose our location for the viewers to locate."
The figment of Beast Boy rubbed his chin in thought.
"That's never been a problem when I'm doing my vids, though..."
"I'm not doing it."
"Okay, okay..." Beast Boy surrendered - at least, in her mind.
And with that, Raven made her way out, to see Aqualad.
"Lovely evening to you, Raven," Aqualad greeted, taking Raven's arm. "You look stunning. I've parked my T-Ship compartment around the block."
"You lucky clam," imaginary Beast Boy uttered on Aqualad's shoulder. "You better keep my full-queen half-demon safe and having the time of her life!"
"Let's just get this night over with," she muttered as they walked on.
Aqualad laughed nervously. "I'd ask if you prefer we teleport there instead, but as far as I'm aware, you're still under Doctor Fate's magical shackles, so old-fashioned transportation it is."
The street was dead quiet, and so was the tension between them. Interlinked by the arms, but not with anything else.
"So... uh... If it's okay for me to ask, what made you decide to join us tonight?" His desperate attempt at filling the dead air.
Raven shrugged. "Long story."
"We got time to chat."
"I really rather not..."
Raven stole a glimpse of Aqualad, feeling tense, and noticed little Beast Boy on his shoulder looking back at her, unimpressed.
"Try a little tenderness, Raven," little Beast Boy suggested.
"Easy for you to say," she retorted out loud. Aqualad looked at her, confused at her sudden utterance.
"Excuse me?"
Raven furiously shut her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them, Beast Boy was gone.
"I didn't mean to be rude. It's just been a hard year."
"Well, remember, we're here for you. Consider this less of a date and more of a friend... date."
"Thanks..."
The ride to Steel City was nothing short of awkward.
Apparently, the fact that she had always found the Atlantean attractive did nothing to compensate for their lack of chemistry. It had dawned on her during the ride that the two had barely interacted ever.
Then, she realised she barely interacted with a lot of people, ever. Titan or otherwise. Being with her teammates had always given her the social buffer she needed to survive whatever gathering she had to endure. The biggest buffer of them all, of course, was Gar.
"Hey, here's an idea," whispered imaginary Beast Boy. "How about asking him a question instead of exclusively giving out one-word answers? Yeah, maybe that'll resuscitate the dead air confined in this flying bunker."
Raven rolled her eyes facing the other way. Finally, she turned to Aqualad.
"How come you don't have a date for tonight? Don't tell me you turned down women to escort me."
Aqualad shrugged. Without her empath powers in full force, Raven guessed he was regretting picking her up.
"Well... Bumblebee brought up that you were coming by yourself. You've gone AWOL for awhile. I wanted to see you. We all do."
"Remind me again how this works."
Aqualad replied, "You mean... how social interactions work? How well-developed friendships and camaraderie work?"
Raven frowned at him. He chuckled at her reaction.
"Don't worry. Besides all the dancing which I know you've never been fond of, us hosts have always been mindful of your boundaries."
Within the hour, they had arrived at Steel City, and Raven was suddenly feeling her outfit tighten.
Aqualad helped her out of the vehicle and they slowly walked towards the tower.
The secured doors slid open, revealing an exuberant display of superheroes ready to party. Strobing lights, pumping music, a buffet of food options, the lot.
Bumblebee and Cyborg were inside by the door, welcoming guests.
"Raven! There's our new fave vlogger." Bumblebee nudged Raven.
Raven feigned a smile, without success.
"Don't worry, mama," assured the little Beast Boy in her head. "It'll be a good time and, before you know it, the party's gonna be over."
It turned into a long night.
Her fellow Titans were very accommodating, making an effort to not exclude her despite her reclusive tendencies.
Mostly, she stuck with the pairs of Cyborg and Bumblebee, and Kole and Gnarrk. If she had the capability to, she would rather fight in Jump City.
The three women were watching the two men scarfing down hotdogs in an intense eating competition. The two were basically competing against each other, having significantly surpassed Wildebeest, Aqualad and Pantha.
"Well there's a battle for the ages," Raven remarked sarcastically.
"You should've seen last year's pie-eating contest." Kole giggled. "Cyborg was so upset that his winning streak was broken, that he threw a pie in Gnarrk's face, starting a half-hour pie food fight. It was fun!"
Bumblebee pointed out, "Cleaning up the messy aftermath, however, wasn't."
A microphone signal crackled through the hall as the MCs, Kid Flash and Jinx, was providing commentary.
"It's a nail-biting match-up between Cyborg and Nark!" Kid Flash announced.
"Guh-narrk," Jinx corrected her boyfriend. "Everyone else is out of commission. Who's gonna take home the title this year?!"
"They'd need the speed force to catch up!" Kid Flash joked. "Uh oh! Looks like Cy's pulling ahead!"
Everyone began to gather around where Raven was standing to watch the tail-end of the close match. Raven lost sight of Bumblebee and Kole, feeling overwhelmed by the influx of people.
Her ears were met with loud cheering. On her toes, she looked for Aqualad, finding him behind a stack of hotdogs, searching for her.
"And Cyborg wins!" Jinx announced, resulting in a congratulatory roar of cheers and 'Booyahs'.
Raven saw a triumphant cybernetic fist punching the air.
Suddenly, the floor beneath the crowd of Titans began to light up in colorful disco squares. A sultry, slow dance jam began playing, courtesy of the Herald.
"It's time for the dance!" Kid Flash exclaimed. "Excuse the hosts as we hit the dance floor."
Raven watched Kid Flash carry a giggling Jinx on to the flashing dance floor. And one by one, Raven watched the Titans find their respective partners. She found Bumblebee, reuniting with Cyborg. She found Kole, reuniting with Gnarrk. She felt a shoulder brush against her, and saw two younger, newer Titans so close together, chest-to-chest, eye-to-eye, swaying.
She felt herself in slight tremors as she became overcome with self-consciousness.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and gave a kneejerk reaction.
"Raven, you okay?" It was Aqualad to the rescue. He noticed the look on her face. "We don't have to dance."
Raven placed her hand on his, as if to hold herself still. Thank Azar for the numbing spell, she thought. Breathing in, breathing out, as the room around her became filled with couples focused on their partners, Raven forced her attention on Aqualad.
"No," she replied, sliding her hands up on to Aqualad's shoulders. "We're doing this."
Aqualad smiled, accepting her offer as he placed his hands on her hips. And, she took a step forward as he took one back.
The long night seemed to get even longer with every step they took.
"See? This isn't so bad." Aqualad tried to ease the tension in Raven.
For a fleeting moment, Raven smiled.
"Have I mentioned how stunning you look tonight?" he asked.
Raven shrugged. "Honestly, I already can't remember."
Aqualad led their dance, and she realised she was being led to a mirror installed on the wall.
"Well, you do."
Raven blushed. With a longer lasting mini smile, she turned her head to her reflection in the mirror, and with the way the two of them were positioned so close together, she was taken back to a time...
"Is it me or did you get taller?"
Raven and Beast Boy were in his former room in Titans Tower. The biggest miracle since the defeat of Trigon had just transpired - Beast Boy's room had gotten neat and tidy. Starfire had commented to Robin outside his room that it was the first time in years that she could pass by Beast Boy's door without sensing a stench.
And his teammates had Raven to thank for this feat. It had been a month since they got together, and Raven had always been hesitant to enter her boyfriend's room. Neither minded this - they even agreed on it. But that didn't stop the smitten shapeshifter from taking charge.
The finishing touch was for the couple to go on a little furniture spree. Raven had selected the humble sleek full-body mirror for him, to be hung near the door, so that he would be able to always have one last look at his appearance before suavely saving the world.
The couple were side-by-side staring at their reflections.
"Why you ask? Threatened?" Beast Boy joked, waggling his eyebrows. In turn, Raven furrowed hers.
Beast Boy laughed, now actually paying attention to their heights.
"Whoa, but actually, wait..." He lay his palm flat on his head and slid it towards Raven. "Are we actually the same height now?"
"You lifted your hand as you were sliding to the top of my head... And now you're ruffling my hair..."
"Wait a sec! Let's stand closer."
Beast Boy placed his hand around Raven's waist and gently pulled himself closer to her. In doing so, the couple ended up facing each other, close enough to reach in for lip contact, though that didn't happen.
His sly move made Raven smile a bit, and that in turn made Beast Boy smile a lot.
"Nope, guess I'm still shorter," he jokingly concluded. "Thanks for helping me with my room."
"I'm glad I can actually see your room now, too," she quipped in return before leaning for a kiss.
Raven's eyes glowed white, almost paralyzed by the memory.
"R-Raven?"
Her gaze panned to Aqualad's reflection, but she saw Gar instead. Life-sized. That was new. She gasped, pulled herself away from her Atlantean date, who was growing concerned.
"Raven!" Aqualad called out. She looked at the real him, and saw Gar instead. In his black-and-purple hero costume. Looking healthy and happy as ever, his gloved hands on her.
She blinked hard once and he was still there. She shut her eyes and shook her head, and finally, she was seeing Aqualad again.
"I can't do this!" she said before bolting out the door.
Aqualad reached for her. "Raven, wait!"
When their fingertips met, it almost felt like an electric shock to Aqualad as a stray telekinetic energy ignited from her. That momentary shock allowed Raven to slip away without being immediately noticed, except by Aqualad.
She ran and ran and didn't stop, out of the Steel City Titans Tower from the high-level entrance, into the city heart. She felt her emotions running high, wanting to release.
She heard explosion after shattering after cracks as she sprinted through the city blocks. The half-demon dared not see what damages her powers had caused in the dead of night.
"I can't do this, Gar," she repeated, panting as she kept running. As far as she could. Aqualad seemed to have lost sight of her.
After about half an hour, after gradually slowing her pace, Raven eventually came to a stop. Her T-communicator had been beeping. She pressed a button to reject all transmissions.
She apparently ended up in an empty public garden surrounded by rickety buildings.
With images of Beast Boy, of Gar, flashing in her mind, she had her fingers pressed up against her temples.
"Stop it," she begged, as if talking to Gar. "I don't want this anymore!"
She wanted to move on. It only seemed like the letters and images from her dead boyfriend were holding her back from doing so.
It was like that sensation again, when something would happen slowly, and then all at once.
She found herself looking for a bench, sitting and hunched down.
"I want to stop..." she begged. She tried to cover those images with her thoughts.
"... Raven?"
She looked up, and found Gar in his entirety. In the real size she'd last seen of him in his healthy, alive state. His smile was small but sincere; she could see the twinkle in his eyes. He was standing so close to where she was sitting, that she couldn't back away.
"I know you're just in my head!" Raven told him, eyes shut and hunched down again, hands grasping her own head. "Whatever of my powers the numbing spell did not immobilise decided to manifest into you! I must..."
She paused as she considered the words to come out of her mouth next.
"... I must increase the dosage of the numbing. I just don't want to keep taking this."
Silence followed except for the light rustling of leaves and flowers in the breeze.
"... I know," spoke this life-size manifestation of Gar. "You're tired of the letters, and the images of me - hallucinations of me... I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I only want to get you to see the bright side of you; one that I've always seen."
Raven grumbled. "Wish I'd done the karaoke instead. Or the Control Freak one. There'd be no one near me to interact with..."
"The world apparently didn't want to hear you sing."
She grumbled again, but also with a little chuckle thrown in. "Shut up."
Gar chuckled back.
Raven continued solemnly, "I failed to do everything in your latest quote-unquote 'adventure'. I couldn't follow through with the vlogging because of all the people. And now, I couldn't follow through with the dance because of... all the people."
"My messages are not tasks you have to endure."
"No, but I thought that it'll eventually lead me to closure... But with each new thing, I get pushed out of my comfort zone, and it feels like reopening old wounds instead."
"Then, maybe my messages haven't got my intention through to you just yet." Gar squatted down and gently held her chin up, such that their eyes were leveled. "Do you trust my messages?"
"I don't know if it's a matter of trust, Gar. Even the real you wouldn't have been able to exactly predict that my visions of you would escalate into... you. I don't even know if you're a result of my powers, or - or the numbing spell..."
"And do you really think that by numbing yourself even further will not have worse consequences on you?" he questioned. "Robin - one of our closest friends - has brought it up. Even Traci Thirteen, your most trusted mentee and the girl who helped cast the spell, thinks it's not helping you in the long run."
Raven placed her hand on the hand of Gar that was touching her face. It was as if she could feel him. It all felt so convincing, and she was aware that she felt she was going insane, yet couldn't help but keep conversing.
"So what do I do now? Keep reading your letters and doing what they say? I don't feel ready to move on months in."
Gar smiled. "Well, there's only one way to find out."
Gar gently held Raven by the shoulders, and pulled her up. Raven found herself somehow obliging, despite it not being really him. They were standing so close together, face-to-face.
He pulled her gently towards him, into a comforting embrace. She tried to place her hands on his hips, and she felt she could feel it. She tugged him closer as - from seemingly out of nowhere - a melancholic guitar melody began to play. Despite being convinced it must be another layer of her manifestations, just like with imaginary Gar, only she could hear it. And it was quietly echoing outward to the city.
Gar whispered, "There doesn't have to be a crowd to count as a dance party."
Always Be My Baby, Raven recognised the song playing based on the chord progression and melody of the strings. However, it wasn't the original, upbeat poppy version she was guilty of admitting listening to. This was a slower, acoustic, elegantly elegiac take, sung by a male instead of the world-renowned diva.
Gar embraced her just a little more, and she too, grasped on to him, wanting to feel everything.
"I love you..." she whispered. "I miss you..."
"I love you, too."
We were as one
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you wanna be free
So I'm letting you fly
I know in my heart, babe
Our love will never die
Gar was leading Raven in their slow dance; steady, and comforting.
She couldn't free herself from the memories of him. But, maybe that wasn't what everyone in grieving was supposed to do.
Because whilst he died, their love hadn't.
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Oh don't you know you can't escape me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
"I'll admit; I can't wait for you to move on," whispered Gar during the short interlude, amidst their slow dance. "Because that's when you can start to be happy again. Not stoic, but truly happy.
"Until then, I'm with you. However long it needs to take."
I ain't gonna cry, no
I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave, baby
I will not stand in your way
Unable to contain the little tear droplet from coming out of her eyes, Raven whispered back, "What if it never goes away? You?"
Gar chuckled earnestly. "By then, I have a strong feeling you'll be capable of coping with 'em..."
But inevitably
You'll be back again
And I know in my heart, babe
Our love will never end
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Oh don't you know you can't escape me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
They swayed on and on, taking their time. Raven missed his touch, so much.
"I miss your voice. Your laugh. Even your jokes... And I just wanna be here longer..."
"You got a life to live. And I want you to live it."
Their swaying slowed, and Raven could sense their dance almost coming to an end. He was loosening his hold on her. The strings, the music, they were fading away...
"And I know that... you'll be right back..." she whispered, slowly singing the next lyrics when silence was about to take over. The imaginary Gar smiled at that. Smiled at her.
"When your days and your nights get a little bit colder," he sang back.
He stopped swaying, and thus made her pause too. He gently pulled himself back, navigating his hands so now they were on her waist as the two locked gazes, with only one shadow cast beneath the hanging garden lamp that they'd ended up under.
"And I know that you'll be right back," he sang on. "Baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time..."
And silence finally took over. She stood there, gazing into his still so familiar forest green eyes.
"Raven?! Where are you?"
Raven turned her head toward the general direction of the caller - Aqualad. Realising that she'd just looked away, she looked back onward, only to find Gar gone. The moment had passed.
She dropped her arms from the slow-dance position they - she, singular - had comfortably been in. Aqualad's presence reminded her that she was considering to numb herself even more.
"I can't do it," she whispered. "... I can't numb this."
Thus, wiping all traces of tears from her eyes, she exited the garden to look for Aqualad.
"What are you doing, Raven?" she rhetorically asked herself before getting to the Atlantean. "Even considering to fully dull my powers. Gar wouldn't want me to do that. No one would."
And so she decided. She was going to keep going.
