PART 1 - INTERMISSION 2 - The 2023's Holiday Special
"Flip of a Coin"
How The Man and The Spider Saved Christmas in Gotham City!
WARNING: This Holiday Special contains an un-holly amount of puns.
Yule have been warned.
It was the morning before Christmas, and all through Gotham City, no one was resting, especially its heroes.
At the western docks, Spider-Man leapt over a heating vent, the rush of warm air much welcome during the chase in the earlier hours of late December.
'The Mouse Man', Spider-Man's HUD showed the D-Villain's profile, which he read along. 'Threat level low LA, leaning towards… PN? Oh, for Public Nuisance. Huh, never knew they had a level lower than Local Area. Wanted for Bank Robbery and… you're pulling my leg, theft of a shipment of italian cheese?'
'... seriously?'
"Give up, Bug! You will never catch the Mouse Man!", the large man's cheer caught his attention, as he unleashed a flurry of plum sized fuzzy gray objects behind himself.
Spider-Man's reflexes and his trusty spider-sense allowed the arachnid to quickly dodge to the right, just fast enough to avoid the suddenly expanding wall of gray fluffy material.
'Traps!', he cursed in thought. 'Must be some kind of air reacting foam, and by the looks of it, sticky foam', he analyzed the objects, large fluffy looking balls that had attached themselves firmly to the warehouse roof. 'Why am I not in my bed right now, instead of chasing some D-List villain early in the morning?'
With a single bound, the red and blue hero sprang back to the chase, spotting the large villain, ridiculously dressed in a form fitting gray mouse costume, including round eared cowl covering his head and large tail rounding his hip as a belt, already sliding down the small building's side wall ladder.
"Don't make this harder on yourself, man!"
"What's the matter, hero? Can't catch a scurrying Mouse?"
Like a flash, Spider-Man fell down, almost catching up with the villain, until something thin and fast whipped out and lashed against his head, sending the hero towards the ground.
'His suit's tail?', Spider-Man quickly realized, seeing the appendage swaying 'I bet it's something robotic in disguise inside of it, I felt metal and heard the servos just before the hit came.'
"Someone can't handle a good game of cat and Mouse, I see!", the man boasted, reaching the landing of the vertical ladder and, despite the bravado, quickly turned tail and started running away in the wet snow that covered the area.
That was, until a strand of web suddenly attached onto the weaponized tail and the large criminal felt himself being tugged back in his spot.
"Not so fast, Mickey!", Spider-Man shouted, already dragging the man back. 'There was nothing on his police files about advanced tech, but I'm not about to try and get into the Justice League's database over Lester here', and, once again, Spider-Man's focus was lost, as there was a ripping noise - coming from the other end of his web.
'You have got to be kidding me!', the hero thought to himself, as the Mouse's tail came off, allowing the large man to, although clumsily, resume running away, a large hole on his suit revealing the sight of cheese themed boxers.
'At least he doesn't go commando, small mercies…'
"Too bad, Spider-Man, you were within a whisker of catching me!", the large man shouted as he already made a small distance from his pursuer, "But today it's the Mouse who will get away squeaky clean!"
That was, until the sight of Spider-Man, landing with arms folds on his chest, made the Mouse stop himself on the spot… or that would have been the plan, but the large man`s body, incapable of such speedy reactions, went straight into Spider-Man still form, a whole foot and half shorter than him and yet, yet it was the large muscled man dressed as a rodent who stopped on his track.
"Give up?", Spider-Man asked, and the man laughed in reply.
"You are much better than I expected, Spider-Man!", the large man smiled, almost triumphantly. "You managed to catch up, but you should always remember…"
In a moment, the large man quickly rushed forwards, pulling his fist back for what appeared to be History's most telegraphed punch…
"Never fight a cornered mouse!"
… until he suddenly vanished.
Peter had a moment to blink, until he realized that, yes, his opponent had suddenly disappeared.
Then he quickly turned backwards and fired a quick web bullet onto the pavement.
"Clever, but not enough, 'Pettigrew'."
The small glob of sticky web started to bulge and stretch, whatever was inside of it trying to pull itself out of its predicament.
Then, in a flash, the large man suddenly appeared in the same spot, held tight by the stretched portion of the web. "How?!", came his loud interjection.
"Not my first rodeo around size altering tech", Spider-Man explained, adding a few more web-bullets on top of the large man, remembering his early team-ups with Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne. "And this is just in case you think about going a few sizes plus or slim down again", he added, remembering some of the tricks that Scott Lang would pull. "Now don't go anywhere, the cops will be coming to pick you up soon enough. Either them or the Pest Control."
"Curse you, Spider-Man! I will be back for you! They have yet to build a better-", and that was as far as the Mouse Man could go, before his mouth got shut by a last web-bullet.
"Give it a rest with the cheesy puns, okay!"
Hours later and we find our hero again, in the guise of mild-mannered scientist and inventor Peter Benjamin Parker, visiting once again the Martha Wayne Foundation, bringing gifts to many of its staff and the homeless people who found a shelter there.
"You're sure it's going to work?", asked Rebecca, the older staff who helped him in his first days in this dimension.
"Have a little faith and prepare yourself for a holiday miracle!", the young adult spoke, as he set the last of his devices against the wall, cylindrical gizmos that had a very close resemblance to bluetooth speakers, except they had been welded together with what appeared to be camera pieces and blender parts.
Finishing with the last screw, Peter turned around the large area, the last of the eight devices set in place in the right location.
"Now?", asked Rebecca, and Peter nodded.
"I've always wanted to do this!", and he cleared his throat. "Now… Dasher!", the furthest device powered on with a slight silvery chime. "Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!" Three more followed in powering up, chiming in tune. "Turn on, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"
There was a moment of blinking lights, then a sudden hurricane of lights, and the auditorium, which once was decorated in cheap christmas decoration, was suddenly replaced by what appeared to be the fanciest ballroom one could imagine to find in the most expensive hotel in Gotham City.
'Just a bit of practical use of Quentin Beck's tech in a much favorable way and violá, instant holiday decoration!'
"Peter! This is… I have no words!"
"Well, I do! Merry Christmas and Lehadlik et hanerot!", and, on cue, small holographic flames suddenly appeared on top of each device, and a wave of warmth spread throughout the open area, as if large fireplaces had suddenly burned all around. "A little late, but Happy Hanukkah as well!"
'I bet Abner would have never thought about turning his Beetle Suit's Force Field into a low cost green alternative space heater, soon to be sold by Kord Industries, thank you very much!'
The arrival, not thirty minutes later, of a Wayne Enterprises representative with a team of delivery men carrying fresh fruits and bagged nuts, canned goods, blankets, warm clothes, hygiene products and, the cherry on top, half a dozen readily roasted turkeys, left the already raised spirits reach even higher peaks.
The large man in charge, who reminded Peter of a younger and slimmer version of Luke Cage, muscles included, without the goatee, gaped at the sight in front of him.
"This…", he started, then let his eyes wander around in wonder. "Is this a holographic matrix paired with a thermal projection system?"
'Oh. A much smarter and slimmer Luke Cage?', Peter wondered. 'Brains and brawn, color me surprised!'
Rebecca was quick to point him towards the inventor, and the man offered him a hand to shake. "Luke Fox, Wayne Enterprises. Is this yours?", he asked in fascination, while Peter could not help his mouth falling.
'A younger, smarter, slimmer Luke Cage who's also named Luke? Talk about constants and variables!'
"Peter Parker, Kord Industries", he shook the offered hand and felt the strong grip there.
"Parker? I think I heard my father talk about you, once or twice."
"... I'm going on a limb and guess you mean Mr. Lucius Fox, don't you?"
"Yep, that's my pops!"
'What in the name of all coincidences is going on today?', Peter silently wondered to himself.
Their meeting, luckily for Peter, was limited to talking shop in the most limited ways - nothing about their companies, but their own endeavors. Luke was an up and coming software developer who had just finished his second master, aiming to build his own company out of his father's shadow in a few years, which, Peter should have guessed by now, ended up with a job offer from another Mr. Fox, Lucas (or 'Luke') in this case, as top director of research and development in his yet to be developed company, which Peter quickly, but kindly, shot down.
At least for now.
"I'm still trying to set my own path", the hero in disguise told Luke. "I have always been a solo act, and I am indebted to Mr. Kord for his major help, but I know I'll eventually take my own path in the future. Maybe we could talk about partnerships then?"
Luke's response was favorable, though he warned Parker that he should work on making connections and maintaining them.
"There are lots of people out there that would either have you join their plans or be out of the board entirely."
"Didn't know tech businesses were that cut-throat."
"In Gotham, even suits and lab coats are bloodstained."
After such an ominous remark, Luke became much friendlier, even offering, in what was clearly no real intent, to buy Peter's holographic equipment, which he also refused in equal good mood.
'Nice guy', Peter thought as he waved goodbye to the future entrepreneur. 'Maybe one day I can work alongside him, who knows?'
It was at that moment that one of the homeless attendee started shouting, asking people to be quiet, as he brandished a small red plastic device, a portable FM radio, as it turned out.
The man went to the center of the room, trying to reach Rebecca, but Luke Fox reached him first.
"Hey, calm down, man, what is wrong?"
"They're saying on the radio something bad, I was just listening to the music, the holiday songs, then the news came all urgent-"
As on cue, there was a man's voice coming from the device, alerting about a phone call they had just received.
"- repeat, this is not a hoax, we are currently hostages of armed men who are demanding our station to patch through their Boss."
There was a small static noise, and then, "Good afternoon to all. For those who don't recognize my voice, this is Two Face speaking."
Luke looked alarmed, pulling out his own smartphone and seeing the silent alarm sent from Oracle to all members of the Team.
"Right now, my men have finally taken over all radio stations and broadcasters in Gotham City. There's no need to be afraid, for I have brought a message… to all of you."
There was silence, deadly, scary silence.
"Merry Christmas, Gotham City", Two Face spoke up, and, despite the cheer in his voice, his aggressive tone was also present. "This is the time of light and kindness. Of charity. Of cold nights and loneliness. Of covering the ugly side of ourselves with boughs of holly and gift wrap."
"A time to spread smiles of joy, throw our arms around our fellow men in peace, or deny the world outside our windows, the fear and dread we purposely ignore and shut our ears to. Turkey and drugs. Wine and tears."
Luke turned back and saw the panicked faces all around him, but, weirdly enough, he could not see Parker anymore.
'Not important, I have to get out of here and help the others!', Luke thought, as he started getting through the crowd around himself.
"And I came today, on this Christmas' Eve, to raise a toast for everyone in this city and to ring the bell to its doom."
Spider-Man crossed the Main Street in his top speed, listening to the lunatic's speech while G.O.O.B.E.R.'s tracking algorythm was already doing its magic, searching for Two Face's transmission origin.
"This Christmas, my present to Gotham City will be its comeuppance. For all of those who are, at this very moment, more interested in enjoying their lives instead of thinking about their less fortunate brothers and sisters, I'll give you… a chance."
"Oracle to all points, Bats, Birds and Sirens. There are a total of twenty four different locations taken over by Two Face's gang, all with hostages, I'm diverting all of our forces to these locations, I repeat-"
"My present to Gothamites everywhere will be life… and death. Rebirth, to all of us, including myself. For with a flip of a coin, the fate of hundreds will be decided."
"In the last few days, my little elves have been tirelessly exchanging gifts all around the City, and by that, I mean replacing random decoration boxes of presents in several key stores, bars, restaurants and banks with remote detonation bombs."
"Start evacuating the malls and shopping plazas!", James Gordon yelled on his radio, as the police car rushed across the traffic. "All patrols, empty all commercial centers you can reach!"
"Stop right there!", came a different voice on the FM radio, one that the Chief of Police quickly recognized.
Harvey Dent, the criminal known as Two Face, turned around and greeted the newcomer with a smile.
"You must be Spider-Man. I've been hearing a lot about you, lately."
The webslinger had reached his destination, the still renovating Nidum Tower, at the North side of Diamond District. The building had been evacuated after a bomb had been detonated in its 39th floor, a trap that almost had cost Batman his life during his investigations on the Court of Owls.
The site at the gaping hole in the tall building was completely vacant, no construction crew to be found, nor security guards, or henchmen, or even any trained cult assassin.
Vacant, except for the man standing on the edge of falling off, several yards away from the place Spider-Man had just perched.
A man wearing a Santa Claus costume, pristine and golden on the right side, red and in tatters on its left. In his right hand, he held a smartphone. In his left, he clenched a remote control, his index finger almost pressing a noticeable side trigger.
"I'm surprised one of you heroes could reach my location this fast."
"My spider-sense was jingling, telling me there was a maniacal miser in the neighborhood. And speaking of fast…", and before Spider-Man could aim his web-shooters towards the criminal, Harvey Dent pulled the golden side of his jacket to the side, revealing a vest covered with small gray putty bricks interlocked with wires and blinking lights. "Don't try anything, hero, or I'll be forced to set the yule ablaze."
"Oh, of course, it's the holidays, I should not be surprised there's some nutty fruitcake around."
"For those still listening to my Christmas Broadcast, I'll ask the newly arrived hero to confirm the gravity of the situation", Dent asked, left foot drifting a bit more to the edge.
Peter frowned under the mask, but complied with the demand. "Mr. Two Face here is donning his gay apparel, a santa suit half chic, half trashed, decorated with silver buttons, golden trimming and I'd estimate around ten pounds of plastic explosive around his torso, give it or take. I'd say it does clash with the festive motif, but look at me, who am I to argue about fashion taste?"
"It's more about function than fashion, Spider-Man", Harvey turned around and faced the city in front of him, not a shred of fear over his possible fall. "Years ago, I had a revelation about Justice. Truly, it is not something that should be in human hands. People are flawed and unreliable. Judges bend their will, cops turn their blind eyes, of course, but even the staunchest hearts in a jury bend to their own emotions. Humans are, in the end, corruptible. But chance? The spin and fall of a coin, heads or tail, is much more straightforward than our entire judicial system. Unfair as it may seem, chance is unbiased and incorruptible by morals or feelings or needs."
"I lived my life, since this… revelation… to its fullest on the flip of a coin. Good side, bad side, it is all chance and fortune. And yet… and yet people call me evil. They called me a criminal, a villain, deranged, insane."
'Says the guy making terrorist threats while strapped to a bomb and hanging to a 400 feet drop', Spider-Man quipped in his own mind.
"So, this Christmas, I had the realization… people should receive the gift of unbiased judgment on my own sins. Chance will judge me, judge me better than any of my so called peers, but why should I be judged alone. I defended these people before, fought for them, innocent, criminals, good sides, bad sides, so they should stand on the other side of the balance."
Harvey Dent eyed the hero, pulling the microphone closer to the unscarred side of his mouth. "So, the court is now in session. The case of Harvey Dent vs the City of Gotham can only end in death and the verdict will be decided on the flip of a coin."
A loud rumble came from outside the building, making Spider-Man peek through the large hole and upwards, the mask preventing Two Face from seeing the jaw-dropped expression of the hero.
"You have got to be kidding me!", he yelled, as the tip of a large coppery discus, easily thirty feet in diameter, started to appear from the edge of the top of the building on the opposite side of the Main Street. The large metal object was being pushed forward by several forklifts, driven by men clad in Two Face themed attire. "Is… is that a giant penny?", Spider-Man asked incredulously.
"I lost my first one as I was arrested years ago, but Batman never wondered if I had a second one", the criminal explained. "A large enough coin for such a humongous decision, and, as it finally falls, we'll have our decision. Heads, I'll be the one punished for my actions. Tails, the City. Simple as that."
Spider-Man turned to the man and could not stop himself asking. "As simple as dropping a multiton giant sized coin into the most crowded street in Gotham at the most crowded time of the year to decide between killing yourself or a lot of random innocent people. I can definitely see how people could get the wrong idea about calling you insane."
"I really don't care about humor, Spider-Man-" "On the other hand, your drama game is on point." "-I'm only interested in Justice!"
And at that moment, obeying the implicit command, the final push of the large coin-shaped monument made it fall.
Two Face smirked towards the hero, who, to his surprise, had his arms crossed as he watched the large object falling.
"... you are… remarkably at ease, hero."
Spider-Man said nothing. In fact, the hero did not move at all.
He stayed there. Standing. Perfectly still.
Until his image flickered in place for a second.
"-What?!", Harvey Dent barely had the time to speak, as his scarred side suddenly got punched, throwing him back inside the building. "This is on you, Spider-Man!", he yelled, his Christmas hat dropped beside him, hand extended and finger pressing on the button.
And yet no explosion came.
Spider-Man started shooting loads of his signature 'sticky web' all over Harvey Dent, which instead of sticking him to the floor, started to crawl around the villain and inside a cocoon, only leaving his head exposed.
"Let me introduce you to my partner", Spider-Man spoke, pointing a thumb behind himself. A small black drone skittered towards the hero, climbing with its eight mechanical legs over his leg, torso, until it rested on his left shoulder. "Meet the W.A.S.P.-Spider, Mark 2…"
A small bulb appeared from inside the small robot, and another Spider-Man stood on the side of the original one, imitating his stance and movements.
"... now upgraded with holoprojection technology and capable of hacking a variety of eletronic devices in its vicinity, such as, say, a bomb detonator, like yours! Good for party tricks and to allow bad guys to monologue away, while I can keep myself at a distance and foil the bad guy's plan", Spider-Man shoot a string to the cocoon and pulled it back, catching the large man on his hand. "Check it out, 'Half-and-Half'."
With no other option, Harvey Dent was forced to witness the large coin he had planned on dropping on the unsuspected population below, stopped in midair right in the middle, caught in a large web, hundreds of feet long, stretched and connected between several buildings in the Main Street.
"Ta-da!", the hero pronounced, the smile clearly visible even under the mask.
Two Face frowned in return.
"Come on, you gotta admit this is cool!"
Harvey Dent just dropped his head, his words barely a whisper. "You… ruined… everything…"
Spider-Man just shrugged in return. "Guess you're one of those 'glass half-empty' guys, aren't you? Oh, and by the way, case dismissed, everyone!"
One hour later and the reports came of several arrests and not a single injured hostage.
The Gotham Mayor issued a notice thanking the City's Police Force and its many officers for a job well done, but everyone knew who to really thank.
And, in a very special case, the Mayor made a very special declaration, issuing a very 'special' warrant demanding Spider-Man's capture, over the large penny he had left hanging over the most jammed street of the city in the busiest time of the year.
And on that night, a man dressed in red colors - and also blue and white - could be heard as he seemed to fly into the air, swinging as the light snow fell:
"Merry Christmas to all!", and "Gotham, am I right?"
The End!
Author's Notes:
Well, better late than never?
I got really sick yesterday, Christmas Day, so I could not post this on time.
(Sorry!)
Anyways! Season's greetings:
Merry (late) Christmas, Happy Holidays and may 2024 be much better than this year has been!