The sordid tale of two Stans, The Society of the Blind Eye and of the Pines' role in Weirdmageddon was a painful one to sit through. As familiar as Mabel and Dipper were with it all, it remained astounding to hear the story.

The difference was that Ford had become so much wiser and more enlightened since last summer. So much more aware.

Both old men were now speaking with regret. Sincere, meaningful regrets of lives lost to their single track minds. They spoke of heartbreak, of brothers torn apart - and how the town had almost come to destruction due to decisions made over thirty years ago.

They spoke of Bill Cipher's flattery and charisma. Of Mabel's desperation not to lose the summer of her dreams. Of Dipper's desperation to find the answers he was so obsessed over. Of the Northwests, of the Gleefuls, of what was happening throughout the past two crazy, crazy summers - and the decades of summers that came before.

By the time it came to The Crawlspace, Gerron Street, even the railroad - it was made perfectly clear, laid out without issue, that the fate of the town and the Pines family seemed intrinsically linked. That the one constant of the past three decades had been the regrets of two brothers from out of town.

Two brothers, a crooked rich family, and a wicked manipulator who had nearly ripped the fabric of the entire dimension apart.

The small group ate cheesecake as they listened intently, drinking fine Columbian coffee. They were silent. Contemplative. Enraptured. All were faces of mixed emotions and conflicts; all far too aware of how each and every one of them had hurt and suffered through the very things they had believed the Pines to be innocent of.

And the Grunkles were upfront. Honest. Even Grunkle Stan was honest. It was the most pragmatic and mature Dipper thought he had ever seen the old grifter. Certainly the most nervous he had ever seen him.

He was sure he could see Stan actively looking to Susan for approval or acknowledgement, as if he was utterly terrified of screwing things up.

It was kinda funny. Dipper had always told himself that he most closely resembled Ford, but seeing Stan so flustered and panicky in front of Susan… that was incredibly familiar. Like looking into a much older mirror.

Pacifica leant against his shoulder and smiled, holding onto him as if he was worth his weight in gold. "Your family is crazy."

"Look who's talking." He smirked, tapping her nose, for once.

By the time the story was over, it seemed that the two Grunkles - for better or worse - had regaled people with the past thirty-one years of history. Even longer, if one took into consideration the stuff before the portal incident.

They looked exhausted. Ford's throat had dried so much he now sounded like Stanley. Stanley's throat had dried so much that he now sounded like a jazz pianist who had smoked a cigarette factory out of existence.

"So, I - I suppose it comes down to uh-"

"We aren't innocent." Ford said, simply. "It is true."

"The thing is," Stanley shrugged. "It was a… it was a mistake, y'know? Screw-ups. None of this - none of what's happened was meant ta happen. It's all been-"

"A mistake."

"But hey, it's been a bit of a happy one, huh?" The old grifter tried to divert, sweat visibly trickling down his brow. "It's brought a lot of you closer together, it's given Blondie a few life and-"

Manly Dan took a deep breath and stood, his head scraping against the ceiling as he hunched over and approached the old men, his gigantic hands trembling, clenched into enormous, meaty fists. He towered over the two Grunkles, teeth gritted and brow furrowed.

Ford looked distinctly nervous. "Daniel, don't do anything you'll regret…"

"YOU TRIGGERED WEIRDMAGEDDON." He roared. "YOU ALMOST CAUSED THE ENTIRE PLANET TO BE DESTROYED, AND ALMOST LOST YOUR DAMNED FAMILY!"

Ford backed away and reached into his jacket nervously, preparing to arm himself against the lumbering lumberjack threat - only for those enormous tree trunk arms to wrap around him, hug him and give him a firm slap on the back.

THWUMP

Ford blinked as his glasses fell from his face.

"YOU TWO RISKED AS MUCH AS WE EVER DID!" Dan bellowed with an unfamiliarly friendly smile.

"You poor fellaaas!" Susan added, running to Stan and embracing him. "Imagine the guiiilt!"

Dipper, Pacifica and Mabe and Kevin beamed - as did the other two Corduroy kids. (Despite the fact Gus found Kevin holding hands with a girl utterly, utterly gross.)

They weren't particularly surprised that the group were so willing to forgive. It was people like Susan and Dan who were Gravity Falls' heart. Its loud, slightly grubby, simple but utterly sincere heart.

It was only Bud Gleeful who seemed to take the revelation all that seriously. He had listened intently and - in his typically pragmatic manner - was forced to be the devil's advocate. (Fitting, considering the amount of work he had done advocating for Gideon.)

"Now shucks, I'm not one to go wiggling fingers, not after my own boy was so taken in by that triangle fella's unpleasantness. But let's say you do end up in court-"

"WE WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!" Dan roared, pounding his chest like a particularly ginger gorilla.

"And don't I know it, but see - if they do , y'know what'll happen? You'll be found guilty ."

"The mayor's pretty angry, dudes." Wendy added. "You did kinda wipe his brain."

"And blow up a street." Melody huffed. "That coffee shop at number seven was great."

"Mr. Gleeful's right. If it goes to court, who the hell wouldn't find you guilty?" Kevin said. His dad glared at him for the light cussing. "I mean, in the end, all of this is kinda open and shut. You did wipe the guy's head, you did blow up the street, you did bring Bill Cipher into Gravity Falls - yeah, it was all good intentions, but-"

"Fact is, if all'a this ends up in front of a judge, you'll need a helluva spin doctor." Bud said. "And let's face it, they'd have to be utterly crazy to take this case."

"We can only do so muuuch!" Susan groaned as she refilled everybody's coffee. "The only people I knowwww who can spin those kindsa things are politicians!"

Mabel's eyes widened. "Wait."

"Don't. Don't you dare." Pacifica said, fiercely.

Ford winced. "Do not. Mabel, please do not-"

"Guys, who would be able to navigate the law of Gravity Falls better than the guy who founded Gravity Falls?"

"What? Nathaniel Northwest?" Bud asked. "Y'all gonna get a weegee board?"

"Not quite." Mabel beamed, pulling out a goose call from inside one of her sweater's many secret pockets. "I know a very fashionable man who can help us, we just gotta call him!"

Before her family could protest any longer, the valiant call of the goose echoed from within the town's belly, through sewers, tunnels and trapdoors. Miles away, flapping gracefully, the town's secret watchman heard the call. To the dread of Stan, Ford, Dipper and Pacifica, the wing beats began echoing around them.

Their saviour had arrived, and it was the absolute last person they wanted.