He couldn't exactly blame her for her logic, not when he would end up halfway across the country, halfway across the continent, or even halfway across the planet whenever he went grocery shopping. Under normal circumstances, circumstances in which he had never fallen into a cursed spring, never turned into a black piglet, never spent half his time as her pet, he would have welcomed her suggestion of wearing a tracking collar that could pinpoint his every location.
But well, he didn't live under normal circumstances.
Never had, never would. It had been a mistake to regale Akane with a tale of how Akari had scheduled a date with him next to the ocean, how he had stopped to tie his shoelaces, and how he had accidentally walked right into the water when she waved at him (he had mistaken her reflection for the real thing)...
He winced. That had been a horrible mistake.
Then his former unrequited crush slash current pet owner had decided that drastic times called for drastic measures.
She ordered a microchip in the mail. It would be convenient, she had said. He could be tracked...all the time. He didn't need to end up in other cities and other countries every single time he left the house.
Ryoga-kun, think about what a life-changer all this new technology will be!
He'd laughed out of sheer terror when she said that, terror that she had mistaken for joy.
"A-Akane-san...you really don't have to..." Ryoga chuckled again, his mind inflicting upon him visions of the near future, of Akane discovering his secret, of his tears, her rage, of wandering the world completely friendless until his demise, his body, perhaps, thrown into the ocean or river by passersby, neither knowing his name nor caring.
Thus would end the short life and times of the martial artist formerly known as Hibiki Ryoga.
He could see it all so clearly. His life flashing before his eyes.
Bucketfuls of sweat cascaded down his brow and onto his collarbone, drenching his shirt in a waterfall.
Akane didn't notice.
"Don't be silly, Ryoga-kun! It's my pleasure! Now you can be free of all worries when you leave the house! You can get to your destination on time...we can help you out when you get lost...it's the least I can do as your friend!"
She clamped the cool metal and plastic GPS collar around his neck with a certain definite click and what was more, kissed him on the cheek for the first time ever (his face burned seven times hotter than the sun).
He would have preferred a shock collar.
This would not end well.
P-chan showed up three weeks later on the Tendo family's doorstep, the mangled and twisted remains of a hunk of metal around his neck.
Ranma smirked.
A/N: So...I wanted this drabble to be a full-fledged multi-chapter story, but that didn't work out...so now I'm just writing random Ryoga drabbles as the ideas strike...
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