AN: Please, be aware this is a slow burn and the story is about many more characters than just the main pairing. There is also a relationship that takes place before it for the plausibility and development of the story.

It may seem like canon, but there's a lot of my own input, an original character with a gift and so much more.

Rain was pounding heavily against the windows. She could even see flashes indicating the storm was near and it made her briefly wonder whether any planes would even take off in this weather. Or whether this was a sign that the plane would, indeed, finally reach its fated destination.

She was staring blankly into the void, in her thoughts thousands of miles away – where? She did not even know herself. No one truly did since it'd moved…

There was an opened bottle of red wine lying on the table right next to a still clean crystal glass. Because she wasn't sure. There was a terrible choice that she needed to make and she needed to do it now. She couldn't possibly postpone it any longer - it was now or never.

Maybe the real question was whether she could go on if she stayed. If she reached for the wine, poured it into the glass and then drunk it, making the decision to drown her sorrows, to swallow the pain – would she be able to go on? Or would she always wonder…?

She closed her eyes, hearing a distant echo of a voice…

Hey, there, sweetheart…

Getting through to people…

You're forgiven…

Flashbacks

Once she regained consciousness and took a deep breath, she started panicking when instead of clear and fresh oxygen her lungs were in a desperate need for, water entered her nostrils, causing her to choke. She didn't know where she was. She couldn't remember how she'd even gotten here. She didn't know where was up and where was down. And then, when the burning in her lungs became unbearable, she realized something with horrification – she was going to die.

Before she sharpened her mind to remember what had exactly happened and why she was where she was, her survival instinct took over and she swam towards what she hoped was the surface and not the bottom of whatever tank of water she was in. It was truly the biggest relief she'd ever felt when she broke through, her mouth opening widely, coughing the water out and taking the much needed breath.

Then it hit her.

Maybe she should have drowned. Out of all the ways one could die, drowning or being burnt alive seemed like the worst to her, but if she'd remembered what had happened when still being immersed in the water, it could've already been all over. Instead she had to live with this agonizing ache in her heart for the rest of her life.

She was taking one breath after the other, hating that her survival instinct and fear of drowning had won over the urge to just stop existing, to stop feeling. She closed her eyes, winced in emotional pain and just focused on breathing. Something was wrong, though. The air felt different somehow. It wasn't fresh and crisp. It was hot and humid. And she'd woken up in the water, after all.

Finally, it reached her. The screams. The desperate calling for help. The crying. She just now registered it all with her already overwhelmed senses. And she finally understood. After the thing, she'd boarded flight 815 from Sydney back to Los Angeles. And the plane had fallen. And somehow she'd landed in the ocean.

She finally forced herself to look towards the beach that was far ahead and she gasped. Never before in her life had she seen such a dreadful sight. Well, she had in the movies and the news and she'd read about them, but she'd never been a witness herself. She'd never been a part of it either. At least not on such a large scale, she remembered and then quickly forced her mind away from that particular memory. It was ironic, really, to survive a plane crash when… She shook her head and started swimming towards the shore. She really didn't want to drown now.

With every smooth motion of her arms and legs, she could hear the screams louder and louder. Her eyes filled up with tears as she watched what was happening on the beach. She spotted a man running from one place to another, doing his best to help people. Somebody had to be the hero when things like this happened, she figured and tried to swim faster. Maybe if she helped too; maybe if she just got down to work and kept herself busy… There were more important things right now than her own grief and she felt bad about wanting to die just a… How long had it been exactly?

Suddenly, there was an explosion and she screamed, registering that she was the one making that sound just after a moment. She wondered if someone just died. Apparently, surviving a plane crash wasn't enough. After all the panic and fright, someone had been pulled into the remaining working engine and blown apart. At least the death was quick, she figured.

Once she finally reached the shore, her arms were already tired and she felt dizzy. The commotion was more or less over and people were just sitting around in shock, the worst having come to past. Now all they had to do was to wait for the rescue team.

When she finally fully emerged from the water and set her feet on the sand, she spotted a figure moving towards the jungle with a small bag in his hands. The man was wearing a suit and she recognized him as the one who'd been helping everyone so frantically just a moment before. Next thing she knew, he suddenly stumbled and collapsed.

She didn't think about it, she just started running until she reached him and got down to the sand right beside him, turning him onto his back.

"Hey, are you all right?" she asked, trying to assess whether he was injured. He wasn't unconscious, though. His eyes opened and then finally focused on her. "Are you dizzy?" she prompted.

She grabbed the bag he'd been carrying without waiting for his answer and found a bottle of water there, a smaller one half-full of alcohol and a small box with a needle and threads inside. She really hoped he wasn't an alcoholic going into a withdrawal.

"Here, drink this. Maybe you're just dehydrated," she said when handing him over the bottle with water. It was the only thing that came to her mind and quite frankly, it was also the only thing she could treat. Having her own bookshop didn't exactly come in handy on a deserted island.

"Are you a doctor?" the man finally asked when drinking half the bottle and then sitting up slowly.

"No, I'm not."

"Well, it was a good call anyway. I was dehydrated," he admitted.

"Are you sure? Maybe you have a concussion or…"

"No, I'm pretty sure."

"How?"

"Because I am a doctor," he informed her and she was dumbstruck there for a moment.

"Touché," she said and actually smiled.

"Well, if you're here already," he started then when rubbing his eyes, "could you maybe help me out with something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Come with me," he said when standing up slowly and then lending her a hand. For a moment there she was worried that if she leaned on him, he would collapse again, but eventually she accepted the help and stood up as well. He seemed to feel much better already.

"Are you sure it's safe for you to…?" she still tried to reason with him.

"Hey, who's the doctor here again?" he only asked playfully.

"So what that you are? I heard you make for the worst patients."

"True," the man agreed with a nod. "Now come with me. I promise I won't bite."

She actually chuckled at that, desperate to find humor anywhere she could in such tragic circumstances.

He led her further into the jungle until they found a quiet place and suddenly, she started having second thoughts about being so trusting. He might've just saved countless lives on the beach, but the bottle of alcohol still bothered her.

And then he actually took off his jacket and started ridding of his shirt as well.

"Wait… Wow… What are you doing?" she asked when coming to a sudden stop. The situation was just so… bizarre.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he asked when looking at her with an amused expression.

"Um…" she stopped. "Maybe you tell me," she encouraged, feeling stupid. He really seemed like a nice guy, but his actions were completely…

"I need help with… with this," he finally explained when turning slightly and raising his arm so she could see the wound on his back.

"Oh… god," she uttered, seeing the dried blood that had run down his back and now left a stain below a gaping wound.

"Have you ever used a needle?" he asked.

Then it all fell into place and if the situation wasn't so tragic and if he wasn't in so much pain – which she gathered from the look on his face that he tried hard to cover up – she would laugh.

"Of course I have," she answered, remembering all those times her sister had come to her to… She shut her mind. She couldn't think about… Not now and not ever. Otherwise she'd just break and this man clearly needed her help. "You want me to stitch that up." She understood. "Are you sure? It's going to hurt. A lot."

"Well, I should know. I'm a doctor, after all," he reminded her with a small smile. She was full of admiration for him for being so brave. He was the one person everyone suddenly started depending on when the plane crashed and it was just because of his occupation. He could fix them. And no one probably thought about what he felt and what he was scared of. She didn't even want to think about how much this wound must've hurt him while he'd been helping everyone back on the beach.

"All right," she just said and made her way to him.

"Just like that?" He seemed surprised.

"Did you expect I'd run away screaming on seeing that wound?" she teased him when grabbing the needle and the thread.

"Here, for your hands." He handed her the alcohol.

She disinfected her hands and then poured the rest on his wound, causing him to hiss in surprise.

"What? Was I supposed to sew the dirt in, too?" she joked and he laughed. Laugher was, after all, the best medication for pain.

"No. It's just that I admire your quick wit," he said then and she immediately noticed his body tense up when she pierced his skin with the needle.

"Ok, I admit that I might pass out at some point," she informed him when retreating the needle and sticking it into his skin again.

"You're doing just fine," he encouraged her. "Keep on going."

By the time she was done with the sewing, the sun long set on the horizon, so they came back to the beach. They didn't feel like talking after everything that happened that day. Once they reached the crash site, they saw that the rest had started a fire and was now distributing food salvaged from the wreck. She figured she could as well stay with the doctor since he was the only person she knew so far. Besides, she felt safe in his presence. She knew absolutely nothing about him, but there was something in his eyes, in his very person that caused her to trust him and to want to stay with him. He didn't seem that eager to leave her side either.

Eventually, they found a place near the fire to sit and once the big guy – who introduced himself as Hurley – spotted them, he came over to give them some of the food. He even had plastic forks.

"How long do think it'll take before they find us?" she asked her companion then and noticed him looking at her with an small, awkward smile on his face.

"I… I don't know your name," he finally admitted.

She smiled back, feeling silly that they hadn't thought of properly introducing themselves yet.

"I'm Alice."

"I'm Jack."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Jack."

He smiled again. "Nothing bonds people like saving lives and stitching up wounds, right?"

She laughed at that. All in all, she discovered that she felt quite good. Yes, their plane had crashed and they were currently marooned on what appeared to be a deserted island. Before the crash she'd wanted to die, she'd wanted it all to just end and the fact that she'd survived along with so many people… maybe it meant that she survived for a reason even if she didn't know what it was just yet.

"So, Jack, how long do you think…?" she then started to repeat her previous question but was suddenly interrupted by a strange noise coming from the dark jungle.

Jack and Alice both got to their feet like all the others scattered around the fire, coming together as they watched the trees in the distance in horror.

It was because the noise was so bizarre and so bloodcurdling that it didn't seem to belong to any human or animal. It seemed to be… robotic of some kind, nearly impossible to hear in such a place. And then something even more terrifying happened - the tall trees in the distance started disappearing, being crashed, violently brought down to the ground. Nothing could actually be strong enough to cause such a damage unless it was supernatural, which was, of course, ridiculous, Alice thought.

As the thing was moving towards them, Alice found herself getting closer to Jack, pressing her side into his own and then she felt his arm going around her to give her the much needed comfort. She felt a little bit safer with him, even though it was obviously just an illusion since nothing and no one could save her from what appeared to be coming.

And then, as soon as it started, it stopped. They all just stood there, terrified and shaking, feeling odd and out of place with the strange silence that followed.

"Where the hell are we?" Alice asked and met with no answer.

Somehow they survived the night on the beach, but most of them couldn't sleep. They were too scared that whatever had caused the commotion in the jungle would come back. They'd tried to hide, choosing parts of the plane that didn't have any dead bodies inside, but in the end, even those couldn't protect them in case of an attack.

Once they ate the rest of the food from the plane, Jack decided that he would go to the cockpit of the plane that had landed in the jungle in order to retrieve a transmitter and call for help. After all, they should've been at least located by now. The fact that they hadn't seemed to only make Alice feel more nervous. And now Jack, the one person she'd actually gotten to know on the beach, was about to go into the jungle and endanger himself.

"Jack, wait." She stopped him when making her way to him and placing her hand on his shoulder. "You're exhausted. You haven't slept at all and don't you forget that yesterday you helped everyone and then fainted. Oh, and do I have to remind you about the wound I sewed? It's bleeding again and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go into the jungle like this. It can get infected and…"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm the doctor here?" Jack just asked her in a more exasperated than angry tone. Something told her that he knew she was right, though, but he refused to admit it. Stubborn, much?

"No, she's right," a balding, older man just said when pointing Alice. "We can't afford to lose the only doctor we have on this island. We have to be on the safe side just as a precaution. We might be here for a while, after all."

"I'll go," a blond man spoke then. "I have nothing better to do anyway."

"I'll go with," a brunette with long hair offered next.

"Sweetheart, if you want to go, you're gonna need better shoes," the guy pointed out and she shot him an angry look. Alice thought she wouldn't like to be addressed like that either.

Soon enough, the two of them and another blond but shorter guy ventured off into the jungle.

"Do you think they'll succeed?" Alice asked Jack and hugged herself when watching the small group disappear from her eyes. She made the effort to remember their faces so she could greet them once they were back. She really hoped they would. One could never be too careful with all those strange things happening around.

"I hope so," Jack grumbled and sat down.

"Hey, I was right and you know it!" Alice argued when sitting right next to him.

"Yes, I know," he eventually admitted after having drunk all the water from his bottle. "But I hate to be wrong. I hate to be… useless," he confessed.

"Jack, you're not useless. Just look around you," Alice gestured towards the people on the beach. "Most of them are alive because of you. I saw you yesterday. I saw how you helped them all."

"Where were you anyway?" he suddenly asked when glancing at her. "I didn't see you on the beach and I'm positive I would remember you."

She didn't know what to make out of what he said. Did he just pay her a compliment? In the end, she decided to simply ignore it.

"I woke up in the water. Almost drowned," she explained when looking back at the ocean and the sky.

"How did you get to the shore?" Jack gasped on hearing that.

"It's all right," she assured him when shifting her eyes back to him. "It wasn't worse than what all of you had to go through here on the beach. I can swim and I made it. I didn't want to drown. I… on the very thought of drowning I actually cringe," she confessed. "To me it's one of the worst kind of deaths there can be."

"Well, some say it's not, really. Once you let the water into your lungs, it's quite pleasant."

"Yeah, but before that it's just agony and letting the water in… it's giving up," Alice said, looking down at the sand and shaking her head. She'd found out the day before that she wasn't ready to give up just yet. Apparently, her spirit wanted to survive. "Where were you?" she asked him for a change.

"I woke up in the jungle, which is strange."

"And why is that?"

"Because I walked out of the crash with barely one scratch on my back," he told her.

"Oh, I see," Alice said when hugging herself again. Was that even possible? Was Jack just lucky? Then again, what they'd seen during the night – was that possible?

"Excuse me," they heard a female voice just then. It caused Alice to stop pondering over what had happened and to look up at the blonde and very pregnant girl. "You're Jack, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Is everything all right, Claire?" he inquired immediately, concerned as only a doctor could be.

"I... I haven't felt the baby move since yesterday," she finally confessed and both Jack and Alice exchanged blank looks.

Alice was truly relieved that Claire's baby was all right. It would simply be a tragedy if it died and she didn't even have to ask Jack what would happen to Claire then. It wasn't as he could operate on her to retrieve the baby or give her the right medicine to deliver.

The group of three eventually came back from the jungle, carrying the transmitter with them, but informing that it didn't actually work and that there was nothing to salvage from the cockpit. The pilot was dead, killed by the unseen and mysterious monster right after they'd gotten there. That information was enough to unsettle just about everyone and the only good thing that came out of it all was the found device an Iraqi, Sayid, offered to fix. Maybe they would eventually manage to call for help since obviously it wasn't coming on its own as the blond taller guy notified the survivors that the plane had apparently gone off its course and if somebody was looking for them, they were looking in the wrong place.

When the group dispersed, feeling more or less hopeless; Jack, followed by Kate, the brunette; went to check on a guy with a shrapnel in his stomach. Alice, on the other hand, decided to find a good and secluded spot so she could freshen up. She was lucky enough to locate her luggage and could now wash herself and change into her own clothes. She refused to look at the picture folded in her suitcase, though. It was too painful, yet she couldn't stop carrying it with her wherever she went.

"Would you like something, miss?" Alice heard the flight attendant ask her.

The question woke her up from the memories that kept rushing back into her mind as soon as she closed her eyes. She was really tired of it since it only made her want to cry and she wondered when exactly was the last time she'd sent someone an honest smile. The one she was now showing the flight attendant was only polite and didn't reach her eyes.

"No, thank you. I'm good," she told her.

"Are you sure?" the woman asked again with care in her voice. She must've noticed the sadness in Alice's voice and she most definitely noticed the red blotches from crying on her face. Alice knew she looked horrible, but she didn't care. In fact, she didn't care about anything at the moment. Maybe it would be better if she just...

The flight attendant was gone by now and Alice was left alone to brood. Then it happened. First, they hit turbulence and then it got so bad that the oxygen masks were released and Alice just looked at her own blankly, having the worst thought - why even bother…? Why would she bother trying to survive? What was even the point? She had nothing to live for anyway.

The situation only worsened, but she was still just sitting there, not feeling scared at all. She would welcome what was coming with a smile on her face, she decided. She was done fighting. It wasn't as though as she tried to take her own life. What was happening around her was just a convenient accident and she was happy about it. She simply chose not to fight to survive. What kind of a chance did she have anyway? No one would live through a plane crash. Usually, everyone just died.

Before the plane broke into three parts, somebody's briefcase fell from the overhead storage and hit Alice in the head. She was long unconscious by the time she hit the water.

Once all freshened up, Alice found herself wandering over to the two women sitting on the beach and talking idly. She knew one of them as it was Claire who'd come to her and Jack earlier. She was still happy that the pregnant blonde and her baby were all right. She didn't know the other blonde, though.

"Oh, hi, Alice." Claire welcomed her with a smile.

Alice reciprocated and sat down on the sand right next to her.

"Have you had any more problems?" she asked when shifting her sight to Claire's protruding belly.

"No, it's fine. I just hope Sayid will fix the transmitter and we'll all be saved soon," she answered.

"Yeah, me, too." Alice only sighed when putting her arms around her knees. She wasn't even sure what it exactly was that she wanted. She simply didn't care about what happened to her anymore and it should be really disturbing, but... she really didn't fucking care. Even if she got back home... to what would she be getting back, exactly? What would she even do with her life? To her it didn't really matter if she stayed or left. There was the case of the mysterious monster (?) that threatened them all, but she suspected that her survival instinct was slowly being extinguished again. Maybe it would kick in again once she was in danger… or maybe not.

"Hi, I'm Alice," she turned to the other girl she didn't know. She couldn't really allow herself to be alone with her somber thoughts. It was safer to actually keep herself busy and keep spending her time getting to know the other survivors. Maybe if she made some friends... but then again, they would become strangers again as soon as they were rescued.

"Shannon," the woman answered when shaking Alice's hand. She was sunbathing, which was actually strange, but Alice didn't judge. Everyone coped differently and there was nothing to do on the beach anyway. Besides, she'd wanted to die when the plane started falling, so she should really be the last one to point any fingers.

In that moment, a man came over to them. Alice vaguely remembered seeing him with Shannon before, so she suspected he might be her boyfriend. She quickly found out that he was actually her brother. Still, even though he was handsome and she could see Claire's eyes lingering on him, his sight did nothing to her and she actually started wondering whether Jack was still talking to Kate. Not that she cared. In fact, she didn't really care about anything those days.

When Boone approached them, Shannon started arguing with him and he actually pointed out how weird it was for her to sunbath in such a situation.

Suddenly, a commotion attracted both Alice's and Claire's attentions as they felt awkward witnessing the fight between the siblings. Sayid and Kate (so she wasn't with Jack anymore, Alice noticed) were about to go into the jungle and up to a higher ground in order to catch a signal on the transmitter the Iraqi had apparently fixed. There also seemed to be another problem - the blond guy, Sawyer, had found handcuffs in the jungle and accused Sayid of being a terrorist. In the end, the guys started fighting, but were quickly broken off. Still, even if none of them was the person in question, there was still a criminal among them. Alice was hit with a wave of rushed fear, but then again, why would they attack anyone on the island? They all needed each other to survive and there was nowhere to run with the ocean all around them.

"I'm coming, too! I'm going on a hike!" Shannon suddenly proclaimed and got up, walking away from Boone.

When making sure Claire was all right, Alice stood up as well and joined the group. She was done sitting on her butt and brooding. She had to keep acting, she had to keep on moving. Otherwise she would just go crazy.

"Wait, where are you going?" Suddenly, there was a hand on her shoulder as Jack tried to stop her. "Alice, you heard it, it's dangerous out there. You should stay."

"Jack, I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I can't just do nothing. I have to go. I'll be fine, I promise."

"But..." he started again.

Why did he even care? So many people was going as well, she wondered.

"We're not much safer on the beach than we're out there in the jungle," she then told him.

"I would go with you, but I really need to stay with the guy with the shrapnel," he started explaining.

"You know, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself," she interrupted him right then and there.

"Alice, are you going?!" they heard coming from the group.

"Just... be careful," Jack warned her.

"Always am," she answered and finally joined the rest, disappearing in the jungle and not looking back even though she could still feel Jack watching her. She didn't exactly tell him the truth, but he didn't have to know that, did he? She didn't owe him anything, after all.

Maybe Jack was right. Maybe Alice shouldn't have come along on the trip. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have witnessed Sawyer shooting a polar bear and wouldn't have seen shaken Shannon trying to translate the message that had been being transmitted in a loop for over sixteen years. If no one had come then, why would anyone come now? They would most likely be stuck on this god forsaken island forever with no hope of ever coming back home. And not even that caused Alice to wheeze heavily as she tried to breathe on her way back to the beach. It was the fact that she was truly all alone. It didn't really matter if she came home or stayed. Still, if she stayed, what kind of horrors awaited her? What was a polar bear even doing in a jungle? It didn't take a genius to figure out that it wasn't its normal environment. Oh, and the people she was with had a gun. That was dangerous enough, even if it protected them from the bear. There was also one other thing - all the time she'd spent in that jungle, she'd felt as though as being watched.

When they finally got out of there and came back to the beach, she was out of breath and it wasn't because of the trek, it was because she truly started to panic. Was the woman who'd sent that distress signal all those years ago still alive? If she was, she was all alone and probably driven mad. She'd said in the message that they were all dead. That it – whatever it was – had killed them.

The rest already left Alice's side, moving towards the awaiting group, ready to pass on the bad news. It was Jack who noticed that she lingered in the back, barely managing to take another step.

"Hey! Are you all right?! Alice, what happened?!" He got actually scared when her legs bent underneath her and he caught her, causing her to land in his arms.

She could feel her heart beating faster and faster, her body reigned by panic, her mind clouded, dizzy and in the end she couldn't really see anything anymore.

"We're already dead, Jack," she rasped before she fainted. "We're all dead..." And then her body went slack in his arms.

When Alice came to, her mind registered that the sun was already low on the horizon and that her lips were completely dry, her mouth parched.

Suddenly, there was a bottle of water pressed against it and she grabbed it, gulping all the liquid down.

Then she heard a voice, "You gave us quite a scare there."

It took her a moment to recognize it as one belonging to Jack, her mind slowly breaking through the haziness. She finally managed to sit up and look at the doctor.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I think you suffered from a minor concussion after the crash and then we have to add stress and fear to the equation. Your mind just shut down there for a moment," he explained.

Alice thought about everything that she'd found out that day and then she spoke again when meeting his eyes, "I'm just so scared, Jack. That message running for sixteen years..." She shook her head. "What if we never get out of this island and be killed by whatever is out there?" She didn't add that she'd rather just die right now, painlessly. She wanted it all to just stop. She wanted her life to stop. She felt herself starting to panic again, wondering if she could do it, if she could find it in herself to just take her own life and stop fighting the horrors of it.

"Hey, hey," Jack said in a calming voice when cupping her face and forcing her to look him in the eye once again. "You're having a panic attack. Just look at me, focus on my voice. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You'll be all right." And she did listen. There was something in his eyes and in the intensity of his voice that she found herself calming down. "Are you all right now?" he asked a moment later when she seemed to be breathing normally again, yet his hands did not leave her face just yet.

She found herself hypnotized by his stare and soon enough her heart started beating faster again, but this time it wasn't because of panic. This time it was all him. His touch was burning her and she was pretty sure she was blushing. Then he finally took his hands away and smiled to her.

"Are you ok now?" he repeated.

She could only nod, not sure whether she could lie so effortlessly this time. The truth was that he did help her, but she still wasn't quite all right and she would probably never be. At least Jack made it a little bit bearable for her.

"Come, the others are having dinner. The bear Sawyer killed is just now being roasted over the fire. You really should eat something."

"Yes, doctor," Alice said playfully.

He stood up and lent her a hand. Together they made their way to the group of the survivors gathered around the fire.