Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, made possible by the Ranger's Apprentice by John Flanagan. I have only borrowed his creation and I make no money. For this story I have used several other Rangers from the books, though I've also added my own. I do this only in the hope to entertain…

Author's Note: No harm shall come to the characters that can't be fixed with enough coffee…

Chapter 43

As he drew reins in the courtyard and Tug stopped, Will all but threw himself off the ponies' back and ran forward to embrace Halt. The fact that his old mentor was standing in the courtyard, waiting for him, seemed to take a heavy weight off his shoulders.

"I'm so glad to see you," he managed. "I thought Gilan was dead, and it's my fault…."

"Funny, he keeps insisting it's his fault," Halt snorted. Giving the boy a firm pat on the back he disentangled himself and stepped over to where Jen still sat on the palfrey. "Do you want a hand down?" She sat on the horse with an air of confidence, but given the amount of time since the messages would have gotten to them, they would have moved rather fast. Will could easily handle it he knew, but he had not even been aware Jenny knew how to ride.

He liked the girl, he truly did, even if he sometimes worried that she might have been a bad influence on Gilan. With her cheerful and bubbly personality, and the fact that he had an over grown, over-energetic young fool on his hands already, he felt it was a bit like pouring oil over a fire. She made him happy though, and she was a sweet generous girl with a pleasant personality who still knew her own mind. She could hold her own against his former apprentice if need be, and while he worried, he was glad for the fondness she showed him.

He liked her a great deal, but even if she apparently knew how to ride, he doubted she was used to it, and no doubt she would be very sore. The fact that she now nodded gratefully told him all he needed to know, and he reached up. Though he was short, he had no trouble lifting her down. His arms were muscular from years of using his heavy draw weight long bow. Though she was on the plump, well rounded side, he had no trouble setting her on the ground. "I take it my former apprentice has not been very considerate?" he nodded towards Will. "I imagine he pushed the pace."

"I think we both did," she smiled cheerfully. "I am terrible stiff and sore, but I wanted to see Gilan…"

"You'll see him, but first we want to have a good talk with you, both of you…" Halt told them firmly. "There's a few things you need to know. I'll take you to Pauline while Will takes care of your horse. She will tell you everything and you can freshen up at the same time. And you," he added, fixing Will with a firm look. "When you're done with the horses, you bring the gear up, you'll find me in Crowley's office, and don't try sneaking off before you come there, we need to talk."

"Okay," Will nodded slowly, trying to read Halt's expression. He couldn't quite tell if he really was angry, or if it was his usual gruffness."

"Gilan is okay, isn't he?" Jenny pushed in.

"He's doing pretty good considering," Halt acknowledged. "But like I said, there's a few things you need to know, and Pauline will tell you better," they had decided she would take care of Jen. Even if they knew she'd want to rush to Gilan, it would be better for both of them if she got to clean up and catch her breath.

He led the way to the room she had been given, close to his and Pauline's small apartment. Crowley had once more proven how efficient he could be when he wanted to, and had made sure he would be alerted in good time before the two of them arrived. As a result, a hot bath already stood ready for her in the room.

There was an unfortunate number of stairs to climb before they got there, but Jen seemed to take it with good humour. She trudged along after Halt, smiling cheerfully. "I need to speak to sir David to," she stated. "It was so kind of him to send me a message as he did. I was not sure he would approve of me."

"David's a fair man," Halt shrugged. "And he's no fool."

"It was still so nice of him, he thought he'd lost his son, and he was still so kind to me," she looked up at Halt. "It meant a lot to me."

"I suppose I can see why," he nodded. Finally, they had gotten to the floor he wanted and he pushed open the door without preamble. "Pauline will take care of you now," he added with an almost gentle smile.

"Pauline!" seeing the woman Jenny rushed forward. She embraced Pauline enthusiastically, and found a pair of strong arms wrapped around her in turn. When she was young, she had thought that Lady Pauline was the most marvellous woman in the world, after Lady Sandra, the Baron's wife. Being a small, slightly awkward orphan in the ward she had been in complete awe of them. Pauline was tall and graceful, she always seemed to be in control, and now she returned the embrace.

"It is very good to see you," she smiled. "I assume Will took care of you on the way here?"

"Of course he did," Jenny declared cheerfully. "Pauline, where is Gilan? Can I see him?"

"In just a little bit," she stated. "I know you're eager, but it will be better for you, and him, if we talk a little first. I've made sure a bath is ready, you can wash the road dust off while I talk."

Jenny bit her lip, understanding the reason, but not really happy with the delay.

"I understand, it's just, I've missed him so bad, and I never thought I'd get to see him again," in spite of herself, she felt tears fill up her eyes. Frustrated, she brushed them away. "I'm almost scared to believe it's real," she admitted. "That I'll wake up and find that this is all a dream."

"All the more reason we talk," Pauline took her hand gently. "I'm married to a Ranger, and neither Gilan nor Will could be more dear to me if they were my own sons, I know how you feel. What they do is important, very much so, but this is the hardest part of it, and even more so for you I feel. I know some of this will be hard to hear, but it really is better that you do. They tortured Gilan, and that is not an easy thing to deal with, for anyone, but he is going to be okay," she stressed the last as tears slid silently down Jenny's face. "He will be okay Jen, you must trust me on this, but the more we help him, the easier it will be. And that is what I will tell you, what we know, and what we will do. Then I'll take you to him, and believe me, seeing you, will do wonders for his mood."

"I want to be able to help him," she stated firmly. "I can't do what you do, I don't know if I'm ever doing anything much good at all, except cook a lot of food," she shrugged. "But I do love him. And I know how important it is, what you all do, if I can do nothing more, then I will do what I can."

"Oh dear girl, you do a lot more than you think," Pauline smiled. "Don't underestimate yourself, now, let's wash that road dirt off and I'll tell you." Nodding, Jenny allowed her to help her out of the dress. She wanted to see Gilan, desperately, but she also knew that Pauline was right. This was no time to go blundering about. She needed to know what had happened so she knew what to do to help Gilan.

She could imagine that Will with Halt was not having an easier time.

Taking the horses into the stables, Will had found a couple of apples for them. Tug had devoured his in seconds, true to habit. What had surprised Will was that he saw Blaze still there, the mare looked a bit downcast, but not as bad as she had been when they had brought her back. When he and Harcourt had left her there, she had barely bothered to raise her head for anything. He had been really worried for her. Now she stood in her stall, eyeing them without any real interest, but still she had nickered a greeting to Tug when they came in.

Taking another apple Will held it out to her and she sniffed it briefly before taking it.

"That's a good girl," Will scratched her forehead lightly. "You're just as glad as we are Gilan's back, huh…" Though he had to admit he was still worried, but if there was one thing he knew, it was to not keep Halt waiting. So taking Jenny's bag with her clothes, his own pack and his bow he started into the castle. He knew the way to Crowley's office and did not need to ask help to find the way.

"There you are, damn lucky, huh?" Crowley beamed. "I should have known that boy was harder to kill than so. That Jenny's?" he indicated one of the bags.

"Y,yes," a little taken aback by the strange greeting Will still managed to nod.

"Good, good," he reached for the bag. "Pauline delegated me to errand boy, I'm to bring it to her while you and Halt talk," grinning he shook his head. "You know, sometimes I wonder if anyone here knows I'm supposed to be in charge, what with all of them giving me orders…" As he passed Will, he paused though and put a hand on his shoulder. "He's alive Will. He's alive and he'll be okay…" Whistling suddenly he hefted the bag over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing and started out the door.

"What did Harcourt tell you?" Halt asked as he hitched himself up to sit on the edge of Crowley's desk. "When you left there, what did he tell you?"

"I was unconscious, when I woke up, he'd put me on a litter and we were some distance away already," Will started. "I asked him where Gilan was, and he said he was gone, that they had killed him. He said he was dead. I would never have left him if I thought he was still alive. I never would have, you have to believe me!"

"Don't be an idiot," Halt snorted. "I wouldn't believe you knowingly left him behind more than I'd believe him leaving you. I know you wouldn't, Harcourt lied to you. He claims it was because it was the only thing he could do," he drew a deep breath. "After you were unconscious, Harcourt wasn't much good. He got captured as soon as he moved on them, and, they gave him a choice. Their leader, Thomas, was an old bully I ran out of Redmont years ago, before I even took Gilan. He wanted revenge, and once Harcourt babbled how you were both my apprentice, he decided that giving me one back, and killing the other would be worse than killing both. So he told Harcourt to chose, whom I wanted the most," he felt disgusted saying it, but Will needed to know.

"So he said Gilan, and in spite, he changed it and took Gilan?" Will felt himself sag, it was a stupid thing to get upset over, but knowing that Halt did love Gilan more hurt, even now.

"No, he said that you were the most important one, and that everyone knew I'd want you back, and would be willing to sacrifice Gilan for it. He said that, in front of Gilan," Halt still raged at that. "And its lies Will, I don't love him more than you, just like I don't love you more than him. I could never pick one of you over the other, not like that. I sometimes think one of you is better suited to a task, but I could never chose one of you and sacrifice the other, and you have to believe that," he looked, hurt, almost desperate Will thought.

He found himself nodding, he believed him, it made more sense than Halt not really caring as much about one of them. "I know you couldn't…"

"You doubt it at times tough," Halt mused. "Gilan sure does now. Not only did he have to listen to Harcourt say that, that I wouldn't care what happened to him as long as I got you back, but Thomas and his brutes did it constantly. They beat him, badly, tortured him, forcing him to say that he wasn't worth as much as you, that he deserved to be left behind."

"But that's wrong," Will burst out. "That's not true!"

"It's not," Halt agreed. "But they forced him to do that, to beg for every scrap of food he got, and they would still deny him, starving him, he's been hurt really bad Will, and he's having trouble. It's been a little better since we found out what they did to him," he shook his head, an amused smile showing. "Took Crowley to figure it out. Not sure I expected that, but he did. It's been a bit better since then, before we could barely get him to eat. Now he does, if not really enough. He needs understanding Will, a lot of patience and understanding, because you can't shake something like that overnight. They really got to him with that," he shook his head. "Never seen the boy like that before."

"Fulcrum," Will mumbled.

"What?" Halt frowned, looking at him.

"Oh, uh, it's what Baron Arald said," Will found himself blushing. "I, well, I said I thought it was odd, I didn't think anyone could hurt Gilan that way. He always seems so strong, but he said everyone has that one thing, and it doesn't really matter how strong they are, it'll be like a fulcrum, and if they found what that was for Gilan…"

"He's right," Halt nodded. "And they did, Gilan, has always been very confident in his own abilities, his own skill. He never has doubted that he can do what he sets himself about to do, but, well, he's more doubtful about his own worth." He shook is head, he really had hoped he had given the boy a bit more reassurance about that. "I don't know why that is, I could tell right away when he said the map was wrong, that he knew what he was talking about, and he knew it, but he doesn't really believe we want him, that we need him the same way. That swine used that, and really got to him… He shook his head again. "He's going to be okay, he's stronger than that, but he's still healing and in pain, and that makes it harder. He needs us to support and reassure him."

"I've missed him, so bad," Will found his eyes filling up with tears.

"Well, I suppose you know enough now," Halt said gruffly. "You can see him, but remember, he's hurt, he's in pain, and there's not too much we can do about that, so you take it easy, don't hurt him…" He fixed his former apprentice with a firm look, and Will nodded.

Halt seeing it sighed, he had a feeling that all thoughts about being careful would go right out the window as soon as Will laid eyes on Gilan…

TBC Please review, the caffeine addicted Cricket is hungry…