"Scott, do you think I care too much what you think?"
"Yes."
Well that response was immediate. Jess was tempted to be insulted except she asked so she couldn't be. Fiddling absently with her pendant and drinking in the comforting cold of the metal, she frowned at the floor.
There were a good three beats before Scott added a growling, "Why?"
"Just…something Pauline said."
"You still upset about her?"
"Yes." Jess sighed and pulled out her phone, checking it and seeing no new messages. "I texted her a few days ago asking if we could talk and I haven't heard back at all."
Scott drew a long suffering sigh and dropped his arm from where it had been draped over his face as he lay on the couch.
"What did Pauline say."
A trickle of guilt slipped into Jess's gut because the man really looked awful. He's just got back from another spin up and based off how stiff he seemed when he walked, it was a rough one again. He'd also given her the longest hug ever without saying a word, so that gave her an idea that things hadn't been awesome.
"It was nothing," Jess back peddled quickly.
"If you say so."
Silence.
Damn it. How could he make her want to talk just with silence!? He didn't even technically encourage her to keep talking and yet, here she was, pushing guilt aside and opening her mouth again.
"Ok fine," Jess huffed and threw her one hand up as she started to pace, still fiddling with the necklace. "She said that I defer to whatever you guys tell me to do and won't do anything you guys don't like, but I don't really think that's true…right? I don't do that, do I?"
Scott snorted and said with gruff amusement, "You absolutely try to default to wanting someone else to make the decisions and you definitely care too much what we think, which is why I think most of us refuse to make your decisions for you. And you get real cranky when we make you decide for yourself."
Wow. He really was brutal tonight. Ok. That was fine. Jess figured she needed brutal.
"Oh. I guess." Jess moved the pendant back and forth along the chain, letting the soft noise it made sooth her as she started to ramble. "I don't know. I guess maybe she sees you guys being so protective and stuff as controlling, I don't know. It's just got in my head and now I'm worrying that what if I really don't make any decisions on my own. What if they're all just influenced by what I think you all want me to do and then even when I do make a decision it's only because I thought it was what you wanted me to so instead of what I wanted to do and then what if I'm just reverting to my old habits?! What if I haven't made any progress what I thought-"
Opening one eye to squint at her, Scott growled, "Pips? Relax. You make your own decisions and we don't always like them, but we respect them. Ok?"
"Are you sure?" Jess paused in her step now, fully facing him and letting more anxiety bleed through.
Gesturing with his hand a little, like it were obvious, Scott started listing things off.
"The Amzaon Trip. I didn't want you to go, but I knew it had to be your choice. None of us told you not to do it. We've never held it over you even though things didn't exactly go the way they should have. And the whole helping to catch your mom and her shit husband, for another example? You knew for a fact I was not in favor of that, but you went for it anyway."
"Oh."
"You value our opinion and ask for our input. But just because your decision lines up with what we think doesn't mean it's not you who made the choice. It just means you got common sense."
"I hadn't thought of it like that." Jess settled on one of the bar stools at the counter and deflated a bit. "I was just- I don't know. Worried?"
"If you want more examples there's your choice of where you work, what you do for school, when you study, when you don't study, how you procrastinate," Scott let out another growling snort. "And damn you can procrastinate. Then there's what you eat despite how judgy I know I can be and you just ignore me which frankly of all the things you could people please on, I would be ecstatic to see you go for feeding yourself better-"
Only slightly offended now, Jess squawked, "Hey, I'm better than when you first met me!"
That made Scott fully open his eyes then and he even lifted his head, saying firmly, "Pips, it really doesn't take much to do better than that, you were an absolute disaster"
Bemused and heartened by how much Scott was teasing her while being utterly serious, Jess quipped back, "Are you feeling ok? I think this is the most words I've heard you say in one go."
Head flopping back onto the couch, Scott muttered, "I haven't slept in close to 30 hours."
Jess hummed thoughtfully.
"I thought you were a grumpy tired."
"Grumpy's my default state."
"You know, I think it's true that you've been rubbing off on me, but what if I'm also rubbing off on you?"
Scott went really still and opened one eye again, "What do you mean?"
"You just rambled. Jess style."
"Fuck that. I'm going to bed."
Scott was up off the couch in seconds, clomping off to his room while Jess peeled with laughter.
Calling after him, Jess giggled, "You even watched a whole episode of Doctor Who and didn't ask 'wtf is this'."
Throwing a dirty look over his shoulder, Scott snarled, "I was SLEEPING!"
Undeterred, Jess kept laughing, "You were not! You snorted at that one line! The 'Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship, get a little perspective' one! I heard you!"
Shaking his head, Scott pointed at her and said seriously, "I was snoring."
But again, Jess wasn't daunted. She shook her head harder and exclaimed, "You don't snore!"
"Maybe I do when I'm really tired!"
"You don't even snore when you've been drinking! Annnnnd, I totally did hear you mutter 'blasted clock people are going to wreck the artwork' "
"Well they were!"
"HAH! I knew it!"
Scott groaned and turned away, throwing over his shoulder, "It's still a weird ass show."
"Why were you watching it then?" Jess called after him. "It was on when I got home and you picked it yourself!"
"There was nothing else on."
"Scott." Jess by now had followed him down the hall and folded her arms in his still open doorway. "You were watching it on Netflix."
As Scott went to argue further, Jess held up her hand and said primly, "No, nope, don't bother denying it! I knew it!"
Glaring at her, Scott huffed, "Alright, I'll let you win this one just this once."
"Trent's going to be so proud of you-"
"Don't you dare!"
Jess let out another giggle and sprang off to her own room while pulling her phone from the pocket of her sweatpants.
"Don't make me come after you, pipsqueak!" Scott threatened without true malice from across the hall.
Just for fun, Jess dedicated aloud what she was writing.
"You will never guess what I caught Scott watching on Netflix tonight! SEND!"
"Oh, you are asking for trouble now-"
"Uh huh." Jess pointed at her doorway as Scott loomed into the brightly lit hall. "That's the barrier. You can't come in here."
Shrugging, Scott said, "Don't have to come in there. I'll just wait you out."
"You said you were tired!"
"I'm not that tired."
Scott grinned like a shark and Jess shivered involuntarily when he leaned against the wall in the shadows.
All the same, defiance crept in and she said aloud while she typed, "Doctor Who. SEND"
A low, short chuckle slipped past Scott's lips. He turned and walked back into his room, saying, "You'll pay for that one, pips. Just you wait."
Taking a second to process that, Jess called after him, "You won't be mean…right? Scott? Scott, just promise not to be mean and jump out at me or something…please?!"
Scott's door reopened and he gave her a look across the hall.
"Pipsqueak, I will not jump out and scare you. Ever. There are much more creative and amusing ways to get back at you."
"Ok! Then I'm game!"
Rolling his eyes, Scott closed the door, huffing, "Glad I have your approval. Don't you have work to do?"
Unfortunately the big guy was right. She had two term papers due at the end of the week and it was already mid week.
Unhappily checking her phone for the tenth time that evening to see if Pauline messaged her back yet, Jess figured a good way to distract herself would be to do her work. Anything to stop thinking too much and feel that deep, hurting ball in her gut.
The call she got the next evening around ten o'clock at night interrupted her brain that had finally gotten focused and in a groove. She almost didn't take it, but when caller ID says it's the cops, you usually answer.
"Hello?"
Ice was turning in her gut, threatening to crush her lungs. Scott was out with the boys. She could only pray to the high heavens that it wasn't about them.
"Hi Jess! Hope I didn't wake you!"
"Trevor?!"
"That would be me!" Trevor sounded tired but his usual lighthearted self on the other end of the phone. "So, here's the thing. Your friend Pauline got picked up by my partner and I tonight at a really chaotic party. She's not charged with anything except drunk and disorderly right now, but she needs someone to pick her up. She asked me to call you."
"Shit."
"Yeah." Trevor's voice went grim. "You don't have to come down here if you don't want to, but she asked us to call you, so I'm just following through with that."
"I'll come get her," Jess sighed, slipped out from behind her desk and reached for a cardigan to pull over her tank top. She didn't bother to change out of her sweatpants. "Is she ok?"
"She's pretty drunk right now, but we don't currently have any concerns about alcohol poisoning."
"Ok. I'll be there in a bit."
Leaving her room like a ghost in the night, Jess pulled on a jacket and her shoes, snagged her keys quietly and got out the door before Bruno could get off the couch.
The drive across town was surreal. Pauline could party hard, but she'd usually been careful enough not to get into too much trouble. And to ask Jess to come bail her out after everything?
That was troubling.
The fact that Pauline didn't even say two words to her when Trevor walked her out to Jess was even more troubling. She didn't even make eye contact.
Taking the silent, awkward cue from her friend, Jess nodded at Trevor and mumbled, "Thank you."
"You got her?" Trevor asked, moving to follow when Pauline stumbled.
"I think so? Ohhh…and she's gone already-"
Not bothering to say a proper goodbye, Jess hurried after her friend, not noticing that Trevor was a few steps behind her.
Pauline was sober enough to walk in a fairly straight line, so Jess kept next to her through the doors and into the night air.
The second they were ten paces from the doors, Pauline stumbled and caught herself on the big, decorative stone edging of the raised planter between the building and the parking lot.
"You ok?" Jess asked, reaching and catching Pauline's elbow, helping her down onto the rock.
Pauline waved her off and mumbled,
"I'm ok. Trying not to puke."
"Ok."
Rubbing her face Pauline bit out a little more harshly.
"Look. I know I messed up, and I was a jerk."
"Little bit, yeah." Jess answered dryly. "What the hell is going on? We fought. We didn't talk. I reach out, and you just don't answer. Why?!"
Pauline rubbed her eyes harder and looked away.
"I don't know."
"Are you sure?" Jess asked, folding her arms, "Cause you just got arrested and called me to get you out."
"Ok, fine. Fine." Pauline brushed at her cheeks quickly, still refusing to turn. "You know you're all I got, right?"
"Paulie-"
"No. Let me finish!" Pauline's voice was tight and her face was working to stay emotionless. "When you left home, I was happy to come. You know what my family is like. We both needed out just as much as the other. And I could face it because we were together. You and me, against the world just like we always were. But then…then you got 'adopted' and suddenly you- you don't need me anymore! And just- no, I know you're upset by that- let me finish. You deserve it. You really do, and I'm honestly so happy you have people taking care of you but-"
Pauline started to cry. Really cry.
"What about me? You've got so many people now, and who have I got, besides you? I don't have anyone to come home to, I don't have any real friends, just a revolving door of poor decisions in the form of boyfriends, my family is a shit show, and yours doesn't even like me. I've got no one!"
Jess was speechless. Pauline never cried. Ever. Not truly anyway.
"And I'm not- I'm not trying to get you to feel sorry for me or to manipulate you, I just- it's the truth. And I get it if you want to cut ties because of everything-"
Moving to sit next to the other girl, Jess threw her arms around her, tears leaking out of her own eyes too as she whispered, "You're an idiot! You'll always be my family, Paulie! We're basically sisters, we've been in each other's lives so long!"
"I'm sorry!" Pauline sobbed. "I know I'm a jerk!"
"It's ok."
"I just thought I was losing you and I've been so alone-"
"I know. I'm sorry too."
"I shouldn't have gotten so jealous."
"Well," Jess smiled humorlessly. "Admittedly that really didn't look good on you, no."
Waving her hand around, Pauline practically wailed, "You don't need all this- y-you've had enough happen to you lately, you don't need to deal with me too-"
Lightly, Jess patted her friend on the back and said, "Ok, so now you sound like me and it's weird. Knock it off!"
Pauline hiccuped a laugh and mumbled, "Sound like your scary bro."
"I'll actually take that as a compliment." Jess hugged Pauline close and rubbed her shoulders with more vigor. "Wanna get out of here?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go then."
Helping Pauline off the bench, Jess finally noticed Trevor followed them outside and had been standing quietly in the shadows, far enough away to give privacy but close enough to step in if needed.
Oddly enough, becoming aware of his presence didn't make her flinch at all. They made eye contact and he gave a questioning head tilt. She smiled a little and shrugged. Then he nodded and pushed off the wall he'd been leaning on, heading back toward the doors of the station. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him pause, waiting till she and Pauline were in the car and moving before he fully went inside. It warmed her inside almost the same way it did when any of Bravo did things like that.
"He likes you." Pauline mumbled, closing her eyes and slumping against the window.
"What?" Jess flicked a look at the girl between checking the road at the stop sign.
"Bailey. He likes you."
Jess snorted and shook her head, easing out onto the roadway and picking up speed.
"How do you figure that?"
"S' obvious." Paulie breathed as she started to fall asleep. "Anyone can see it."
"He's Brock's friend. He's just looking out for me. That's all."
"Whatever you…say. But, he's a really good guy. Says stuff that makes sense."
Seconds later Pauline was snoring and Jess had to shake herself.
Silly Pauline. She was always saying things like that when she was drunk. Nothing to read into.
At all.
Getting Pauline inside after she'd been asleep in the car was a challenge, but Jess managed it alright. Then getting her in past the dogs was a second challenge.
Thankfully Scott wasn't home, so Jess didn't have to contend with explaining to him why she was dragging her drunk friend home at this hour.
Once Pauline was tucked into Jess's bed, Jess let the dogs out and collapsed on the couch, exhausted.
That was not how she expected the 'fight' to resolve, but she was relieved it seemed to be over.
Tugging out her phone, Jess decided maybe she should send Trevor a quick text, thanking him. As if on cue, Jess's phone lit up with a new message.
Hope everything worked out ok. Let me know if you need anything! - Trevor
A lifted the corners of Jess's mouth and she typed back, Got her back to my place and she's sleeping it off. Thank you so much for everything!
Within seconds the reply came back. Anytime! And I mean that.
Huffing a soft laugh, Jess reached out and scratched Reisa behind the ears, whispering, "Of course he means it. That's just the kind of person he is. He'd give a complete stranger the shirt off his back if he thought it would help them."
Paulines sleepy, drunk pronouncement ghosted back into her mind and Jess struggled to shake it off, whispering aloud sternly, "He's like that with everyone. Don't read into it."
Tossing her phone, Jess lay down and closed her eyes.
An hour or so later she jolted awake to the sound front door opening.
The huge bulky figure in the light of the streetlights outside gave away Scott's return home, quickly followed by the near blinding light of the front hall light flipping on.
Jess immediately buried her head in the couch again, eyes screaming at the sudden change. Seconds later the light flicked out with a soft curse.
"Thank you," Jess half muffled her reply in the couch cushions again, only partly turning back his way.
Slow, measured feet stole across the room, dodging the excited dancing of two dogs and hoarsely hushing them.
"Why you sleeping on the couch?" Scott whispered, crouching next to her and brushing her hair back from her forehead.
Jess grimaced as she squinted at her watch, "Cause Pauline is in my room."
"Why?" Scott's question was blunt and cranky.
"She got really drunk and then arrested and I had to bail her out."
Scott was silent and that was enough for Jess to know what he was thinking.
"It's not what you think."
"Sounds like she's using you to get her out of a tight spot she put herself in."
"No. No it's not."
"Ok, so tell me what it is then," Scott rose enough so he could sit on the coffee table.
"I'm all she has." Jess told him bluntly. Not being able to see his expression helped her ramble without worrying what he was thinking. "Before you, and before Bravo- it was always me and her! We both had shit families, hers was different from mine, but it was still crappy. And then after high school she came with me, out here. She didn't have to, but when I told her I was going, she said she'd tag along. Said it sounded fun, but we both knew I needed her and she wanted out of her house. So…I can't just leave her, Scott. Not when she called me to help. You wouldn't leave me if I got arrested."
"I might." Scott told her, utterly serious. "If you did it to yourself and you were otherwise ok, I would leave you for the night. Then I'd come get you."
"You'd still come get me though…and you know I would come get you too…right?"
"Oh, I know that, pips." Scott rubbed his face and regarded her with a tired sigh. "So it's just loyalty? That's what keeps you from cutting ties? You feel like you owe her?"
"No. She's family, Scott. And she's got no one else. I know you don't like her, and frankly she doesn't like you either. She thinks you and Bravo are too controlling and she's worried that I rely on you guys too much and won't do anything without your approval, which yeah, it means a lot to me, but not so much that I'm gonna walk away from my oldest friend. We've had each other's back since we were three and-"
"Pips. I'm not asking you to cut ties. Just want to make sure you're sure and that your not getting taken advantage of."
"I'm sure."
"Ok. I'll play nice."
Abruptly, Scott got up and headed for his room.
"Wait," Jess rolled off the couch and went after him a little. He paused, glancing over his shoulder at her, letting her add, "Are…are you mad at me?"
In the dim light of the hall, Jess heard the man snort with grim humor and he shook his head.
"No. You do what you like, kid. You've known her longer than I have. You have more history than I do. You're the best judge of her character and I respect that. Just might take me a little more time to trust her like you do."
"C-could you try though?" Jess whispered, suddenly feeling small and earnest. "Cause…cause…she needs good people too."
The man turned back to face her slowly.
"Are you asking me to adopt your friend?" He asked warily.
"Maybe just a tiny bit? P-please? She's only been a jerk because she's been jealous and feeling so alone and thought that I didn't really care about her anymore and- and I know that sounds manipulative, but I know her. She was telling the truth. Please? Just, be kind to her, at least ? Cause I know you're kind…deep down and past all that 'I'm a murder man' exterior."
Drawing a long breath in, Scott groaned softly, "Do I have to?"
"Please? I'm being serious."
"I know," Scott huffed and grumbled. "Alright, but this better not ruin my reputation further."
Smiling, Jess whispered, "It won't. Besides, she doesn't even really like you."
"Why?" Scott sounded more hopeful than insulted, as if he relished the idea of someone not liking him versus being liked for whatever reason.
Yawning, Jess shuffled back to the couch. "She says you're too scary and grumpy and a killjoy."
"Good. Glad we know where we stand- what are you doing?"
"Ah, going back to sleep?"
"Uh huh. I'll sleep there. Got take mine."
"Scott-"
"You gonna argue with a scary murder man?"
A soft laugh slipped out and Jess rolled her eyes. "Fine. You win."
"I'll be out the door early anyway. Probably getting spun up again."
"Right."
"Jason's around if you need anything."
"Jason is on crutches! I think I'm more likely to help him out than him helping me out."
"Don't let him hear you say that."
"You guys and your egos." Jess muttered, slipping into the familiar room and flopping into the covers and pillows.
Scott's presence stepped quietly in a moment later. "Just need to grab a few things."
"Uh huh."
Bruno jumped onto the bed, followed by Reisa. The sound of hangers in the closet shifting and the dresser drawers opening and closing were the last thing Jess heard before she fell asleep again.
Playing team therapist wasn't what he had in mind after a late night and early morning, but Scott had the feeling it was going to be a fun plane ride. Between Clay questioning the reason for the mission and Metal himself making sure that Lopez was acting squeaky clean, he wasn't sure if he'd get much sleep.
Not that he would sleep well anyway.
Ever since he knew his sister was sick when she died, he had this weird thing when it came to terrifying diseases. The fact they were escorting a Doc to collect samples of Ebola was…disconcerting.
Not that he would ever admit it to Clay. The kid was already spinning with worry about what would happen if any of them were exposed and how that would affect their lives forever. Worst part was Metal knew most of them didn't disagree with him. Even Ray.
The mission was the mission. That's just the way it was. You just had to accept it even if you didn't like it, and manipulate things where you could to make it go the way you hoped.
Speaking of which.
"You get that gear and supplies stored properly, greenie?"
Vic flicked a wide, earnest eye to him.
"Yes, sir."
"Then get to work setting up the hammocks."
"Yes, sir."
Ray gave him a weird look, watching as Lopez scampered off to make himself useful.
"What in the hell is going on?" Ray asked, frowning deeply now.
"Nothing. Just looking after those interpersonal issues you asked me to square away."
"By riding the kid so hard he feels like he's back in basic?"
"Hopefully worse than basic."
"Metal, I asked you to fix the problem, not make a new one! We want the kid to feel part of the team, not ice him out."
Shrugging carelessly, Metal growled, "Then he should have stayed away from Jess."
Ray slowed down his walk and pivoted sharply.
"Say what now?"
Growling darkly, Metal decided to fill him in since he'd finally bothered to ask.
"He was coming on to Jess even after she asked me to tell him to back off. And I was crystal clear about him needing to back off. And he didn't. And then he upset her."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"That explains a few things."
"So you gonna let me handle this, or do you want more problems?"
"Nope. Just make sure it doesn't bleed into the operation."
No words were necessary for Ray to get the full meaning behind Metal's stare.
"Right. Right, you're a professional." Ray held up his hands and kept walking. "My bad. Just let up a bit, ok? And see if you can get Clay to knock it off? He's being impossible and it's making the higher up's edgy with all his questions."
"Not the fuckin therapist." Metal growled, heading for his nicely hung hammock.
In and out. That's all that needed to happen on this op. Protect the doc. Get some samples. That was it.
He could do this.
Swinging up into his hammock, Metal closed his eyes.
"What do you think of this mission?"
Damn it.
Making sure to make his tone extra annoyed, Metal rumbled, "Not my job to think. Job's to go where the spear is pointed. Now pipe down and let me sleep before I sew your mouth shut."
"Metal, I'm being serious!"
A long, slow inhale was necessary, because that true, honest worry leaked into the kid's tone and Metal knew more was needed.
"Kid? We'll be fine. Stop worrying."
Something flashed through Clay's face and then he jerked his chin, acting insulted to hide the relief from the comforting words.
"I'm not worrying. Just asking for Sonny. He's already got a list of phobias. We don't want to add getting Ebola to the list."
"Why don't you go pass on those words of wisdom I just gave you and leave me in peace then."
Giving him a grin that sat right on par with Jess's cheeky smiles, Clay said, "Sure. I forget you're an old man and need your beauty rest."
Grabbing the protein bar he'd slipped in his pocket for later, Metal threw it at the back of Clay's retreating head, snarling, "Damn straight I'm old. I'm a stubborn SOB and I'll wipe that smirk off your face if you aren't careful!"
Clay waved with another cheeky grin, picking up the protein bar and opening it.
"My favorite!"
"Hey! Where'd you get that, goldilocks!?"
"Oh! Those are the good ones! Cerb even likes them! Don't you Cerb."
"It's not mine, Metal threw it at me."
"Yo! Metal! Can I have one too?!" Sonny bellowed.
Settling back and closing his eyes, Metal swore.
In the hammock across from him, Trent snickered and mumbled, "You're losing your touch."
"Am not."
"Are too!"
"Step in the ring with me and say that!"
"Jess would be sad if you beat me up."
Swearing under his breath again, Metal tried to ignore the ruckus around him.
Children. He worked with children.
At least they were a welcome distraction.