Metal was in the middle of making lasagna when his phone started buzzing. The timing was terrible and he didn't really want to talk to anyone right now, but the number was one he'd been waiting to hear from for a while now, so he answered it anyway.
"Yeah?"
"Hello, is this Scott Carter?" A female voice reached him from the other side of the phone.
"It is."
"Mr. Carter, my name is Leslie Dunloup, I'm the new social worker assigned to Angie's case."
Nodding, Metal leaned on the counter and said with as little combativeness as possible, "Was starting to wonder if I was ever going to hear back from you."
"I do apologize for that. I was off on a personal leave of absence for a few weeks there and have been playing catch up. Is now a good time to talk, or would we be able to set up a face to face meeting? I'd really like to sit down with you separately and get a picture of what's going on at home before meeting Angie and seeing what resources might be helpful to her."
"I got time this afternoon, and that's about it," Metal told her, doubtful she would take the opportunity.
"This afternoon? I…" Leslie paused, "I can make that work! I had a cancellation! Can you come for 2pm?"
"Yup." He had an appointment with his therapist at 1pm in the same area, and it thankfully only ever lasted 45 minutes. Jury was out on if he would be in a more pleasant mood after his session or in a worse one. While he had to grudgingly admit the man he talked to was good at his job and in the long run sessions were helpful for mental maintenance, he still hated going.
"Excellent! Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time!"
Skeptical, Metal answered with, "Likewise. I'll see you at two then."
"Do you know where to find us?"
"Third floor of the building on Perth and Wellington next to the Bakery." He left out the part where he knew her office number already. That was likely overkill.
"That's the place! Just give me a call if anything changes! I look forward to meeting you!"
After he hit the end button, Metal murmured warily into the quiet house, "You might be cursing my name by the end of the day, but we'll see."
During the conversation he tried to detect a hint of falseness to Leslie's pleasant and professional demeanor, but so far he had to admit she seemed pretty genuine. That alone was a big change from Ronda.
By the time he was seated in Leslie's bright, clean and neat office, he'd already picked out several other ways she differed from the previous Social Worker. For one thing, she was a darn sight younger. Hell, she was as much of a kid to him as Clay was, maybe just a smidge older. Then there was the fact she got straight to the point and didn't bother too much with false pleasantries.
"So I understand you and the previous case worker were not exactly seeing eye to eye," Leslie told him bluntly as she closed the door to her office and motioned for him to take a seat. He got the strangest feeling he was in trouble in the principal's office the way the young woman took command of the room. She might have been young, mid twenties at least, but she wasn't intimidated by him in the slightest. He was impressed. "I'd like to make sure we get off on the right foot here, so I'm hoping you'd be willing to share what you would like to gain from all this, that way I can make sure we have a clear understanding from the start of what our expectations are."
Brow furrowing, Metal frowned at her. "Me? What do I hope to gain? Thought this was about Angie."
"Yes, Mr. Carter, it is, but I'm as much here to support Angie in what she needs during this big transition in her life as I am for you, seeing as you are her caregiver. I'm here to help, so let's talk about how I can help. What do you need?"
Momentarily at a loss for words, because when Leslie walked out to greet him he'd had his doubts, Metal considered her question. He watched her subtly fidget with her wedding band and engagement ring, jaw set and unyielding as she stared at him with both 'I take no shit' and 'I'll listen to whatever you want to tell me' written on her face.
"Alright…" He said slowly, rethinking and more willing to give it an honest shot. "What have you got in that file about how the first few weeks went with Angie and I?"
Lips pursing into a thin line, as if she disapproved of something, Leslie said calmly, "I'd much rather hear your take on the events. My colleague did not keep as detailed, unbiased records as I would have liked to see."
"So you know Angie ran away and got dumped with me all in the same day." Metal stated.
"Yes, I am aware that Angie took off, and that she was placed with you rather suddenly after the fact," The spark in Leslie's eye spoke volumes of how she personally felt about that decision, and Metal decided he liked her. "I am not overly clear on why she ran off in the first place, though."
"She was afraid to be placed with her Uncle Curt instead of me, or in foster care."
Puzzled, Leslie's brow pulled a little. "Why would she be afraid of her Uncle? He's on the list of alternative people she could have been placed with."
"You damn well better update that, cuz she isn't going to anyone other than those specifically stated on all those legal documents I signed." Metal drew breath and cooled the sharpness in his voice. "According to Angie, Angie's mother said Curt's a bad man who gets away with hurting people and that she didn't want Angie to live with him or go anywhere near him. I would have thought…did Ronda not mention that one or investigate it further!?"
"Ok." Leslie drew a quick breath and looked out the window, jaw clenching tighter. He knew when someone was reigning in their temper when he saw it. Oddly enough it scored Leslie yet another point with him. Turning back to him she said frankly, "Let's start over. Your previous case worker is teetering on the edge of a suspension right now already due to negligence. Care to share anything more? I'd be happy to report it."
A slow smirk lifted the corner of his mouth and he leaned back, crossing his arms.
"I can think of a few things," He growled quietly.
By the time he was finished talking with Leslie, there was indeed a clear understanding between them and he had a fairly good feeling about the woman. She was young, but she was quick, efficient and took no crap from anyone. She was even able to provide a few more insights into ways he could help Angie settle more into her new life, and provided a list of additional local resources for him to look at. Rather than tell him what he should do, she provided effective questions and prompts that ultimately led him to his own conclusions and he had to give her credit; he was more receptive when it worked that way. Personally he wondered if she had experience dealing with a stubborn, grumpy Frogman like him because she managed his crustier moments artfully.
Standing next to the truck as he waited for Angie, Metal took a look at his calendar again. Sometimes being on the plane between missions was more relaxing than being at home, although he had to admit caring for Angie gave him purpose outside of his job that he hadn't had since being with Catherine.
One last thing blinked up at him for this week and he grumbled.
Parent Teacher Interviews. Right.
Technically they were next week, but he'd called the school and requested to do the interview early since he could guarantee he was home the next few days. Apparently there could be an upside to Mandatory Safety Briefings and Training because someone did something stupid and they all had to pay for it. He never thought he'd say that, but it meant he was home for a little while without a likelihood of getting spun up until after the training was over.
Given that he'd missed Angie lying about her homework and the extent of the bullying going on with those two little snakes, he figured it was probably a good idea to at least make his face known to the teacher.
"Daddy!"
Angie's happy chirp brought his head up and he smiled.
"There's my girl!" He stooped down to accept the hug she offered up with outstretched arms.
"I didn't know you were home!" Angie told him, excitement uncontained as she squeezed.
"I'm home for the next few days, at least!" He told her, setting her back on her feet and taking her backpack.
"Really!?"
"Uh huh. You're stuck with boring old me for a few nights. Got a meeting with your teacher tomorrow though. Uncle Trent's going to pick you up so you don't have to wait around after school and he'll stay with you till I get home."
Angie's face fell a little, "Ok."
Catching the guilty flicker in her face, Metal asked, "Anything I should know about?"
They'd gotten better at creating a space where Angie felt like she could tell him things. In the last week, ever since that most recent difficult conversation, she'd opened up like nothing else, confiding big and little things.
Today proved her comfort with him was deepened immensely because she started talking right away instead of waiting till just before bedtime, when her little brain started to overflow.
"Well…I got really distracted today and was reading when I shouldn't have been. Ms. Finch had to take my book away." Angie told him, ducking her head and leaning into his side when his arm came around her. "And…I didn't say very nice things to Sarah and Ms. Finch and I had a talk about that too because Sarah was really upset and told on me."
"Oh? What did you say to Sarah?"
Flushing, Angie took his offered hand, using it to climb up into the truck. Once she was in her spot behind the driver seat she met his gaze seriously, chewing her lower lip.
"She was saying how dumb and babyish it was that I let you pick me up and swing me around when you come get me after school, and then I got mad at her and told her at least I have a dad who loves me…and then she…she just sorta stared at me and then burst into tears and ran away…and Summer said I was really mean because Sarah's dad didn't live with them anymore."
"Ah." Metal gave a singular nod, leaning on the frame of the truck while studying his kid and listening. They weren't in a hurry and Ray was three car's down, picking up Jameelah so in the more vigilant part of his brain he felt like someone was watching his back while they lingered in the parking lot.
"I didn't know," Angie said earnestly. "And I didn't mean to hurt her feelings…I just…wanted her to leave me alone. I said I was sorry, but she said she'd never forgive me."
"Hm," Metal scanned for the two little terrors who made his kid so miserable at school, not liking that he could almost understand, on some level, why one of the kids was the way she was. "Sometimes no matter how sorry you are, things can't be unsaid. Sucks a lot."
Angie nodded, visibly troubled.
"Ms. Finch said something like that too and that I've done my part, now it's up to Sarah to decide what she's going to do with it; hang onto it, or let it go."
"That's true. Ball isn't in your court anymore."
Seeing that Ray was about to leave, Metal absentmindedly checked to make sure Angie was buckled in and got in the truck, starting them on their way home too.
"Ms. Finch also said that I don't need to take Sarah's nasty comments…and that I can tell her if they're being mean…but- Daddy, telling teachers only makes it worse! The same thing happened at my old school too and…I don't know what to do because now Sarah really hates me! What if she gets more mean? She's already such a jerk!"
Glancing at Angie's anxious face in the rearview, Metal said carefully, "We'll deal with it as it comes, Angie. Don't borrow trouble. You just keep standing your ground, and now that you know that's a sensitive topic, if you gotta say something back to stand up to her, leave her dad out of it. Just keep in mind you can't take words back and silence isn't a weakness."
"Ok."
Angie chewed her lip again as she looked out the window. He waited to see if she would volunteer what was going behind those big, thoughtful brown eyes. Sure enough, his patience was rewarded as they went into the house.
"I don't like Sarah," Angie said as she struggled to hang her coat up, standing on her toes to reach the hook. "But I don't want to be enemies either. I remember…"
The kid caught herself before she could finish the sentence and a hesitancy slipped in. He took the coat from her and hung it up, wondering if he should just lower the hooks for her or add new ones. It might keep her backpack from getting dumped right in the middle of the hall when she got home.
"Remember what, Angie?" He prompted, heading to the kitchen to check the multiple meals he was cooking ahead of time to be frozen for later. They would be done in about fifteen minutes but he liked to make sure things were good.
"Nothing." Angie dragged her backpack to the table, digging out her homework dutifully.
"Alright. If you're sure. Before you start that, go take your laundry out of the drier and move the wet stuff over like I showed you."
"Ok!" The kid hopped on the chance to avoid her homework with comical eagerness. "I can fold it too!"
"Nice try. Just move it along, we'll deal with folding it later."
Dragging her laundry basket to her room, Angie wished she could just spend time folding it and listening to the CD's of classical music that Mommy used to put on for her when she was little. They sat in a stack on her desk next to the CD player her dad dug out for her.
Her brain was so tired and she didn't want to think any more. Still, Daddy and her made a deal to do her homework the second she got home so it was finished and she didn't want to kick up a fuss.
After what happened with Sarah today, Angie had been lost in thought about a lot of things. Her greatest conclusion was that she firmly believed in just how lucky she was to finally have a dad and to have one who was making sure she knew how much he loved her.
What if Sarah's dad never told her he loved her? Angie was uncomfortably familiar with how hard it was to watch other kids with their dad's. Over the years she'd had to watch with that hollow longing in her gut, wondering and wishing she could have that too.
Being able to empathize with her bully didn't feel good at all. It was like looking in the mirror and not liking the reflection.
"Angie, did that laundry eat you or are you stalling."
Startled out of her thoughts for the millionth time that day, Angie hurried to get back to the hated homework.
"I was just thinking," she told Scott as she sat back at the table.
Her stomach growled. The house smelled good. Sometimes they had to get take out because there wasn't time to cook, but somehow, despite how often he was gone, Daddy managed to make a surprising amount of food. Even Mommy hadn't been able to do that all the time.
"Uh huh."
The noncommittal grunt was deceiving and Angie read the flicker of alertness that showed when her dad looked over at her.
Pretending for now not to see it, Angie bent her head over her grammar homework first, breezing through it easily. When one of the practice sentences started talking about 'Where is father?" Angie paused, mind getting taken back to the days when she would ask her mom why she didn't have a dad like the other kids. Mommy always said it was complicated and that she would explain when she was older. The idea of Sarah asking those questions too and supposing how she might feel about having a dad who didn't live at home anymore after having one in the first place made Angie uncomfortable again.
"Angie…hey! Radio check…you good, kid?"
Head lifting, Angie blinked at her dad before it occurred to her he'd called her name twice now.
"Yeah," Angie said, frowning because she didn't actually know if she was or not. All this thinking and feeling was making other things hurt again, like missing Mommy.
"You were pretty far away," Scott said, coming round to the table and setting a glass of water next to her. The tension in her shoulders gave when his hand spilled across the back of her neck, squeezing with comforting pressure. The contact felt like an unspoken invitation to tell him her troubles and Angie started to give in.
"I was thinking." She stated, trying to explain as she leaned into her dad just a little, hoping he might stay.
"Ah," Scott took the chair next to her and rested his forearms on the table. He spoke with a grave tone next. "I tried thinking once, but I got a headache and then Uncle Sonny found shaving cream in his toothpaste."
Angie snickered, entertained by both the idea of Uncle Sonny brushing his teeth with shaving cream and the implication that her dad only ever tried thinking 'once'.
Smirking in response to her soft giggle, Scott asked seriously, "What's got you thinkin so much? I can see smoke coming out those ears."
Giving Scott a look, Angie tried to be serious too and failed as she said with a giggle, "There's no smoke coming out my ears, Daddy!"
"There sure is! You're gonna set off the smoke alarm and the neighbors are going to think I can't cook!"
Grinning, Angie started to doodle on the edge of her page saying, "You're silly, Daddy."
"Good."
Scott waited and Angie could feel him studying her with that careful, watchful stare. After a minute he picked up a pencil and started adding doodles to the opposite edge of the page she was working on. A little part of her burst with warmth because they were doing the same thing and she liked that. Also it wasn't homework.
"I was thinking about Sarah." Angie told him, latching on to the sense of closeness brought by drawing simple, looping vines with flowers around her page together. "I think…I think she might be really unhappy."
"Yeah? Why do you think that?"
"Well…" Angie hesitated, not wanting to say the wrong thing again today. She didn't want Daddy to feel bad and needed to find the right way to say it. "Because it's hard seeing other kids with something you want…and maybe…maybe Sarah's mean because she doesn't have a dad who's like you."
Daddy's pencil paused mid loop.
"That's pretty perceptive, kid. What made you come up with that?"
Biting both lips, Angie tried to find a way to soften her confession. In the end her pencil jumped over to the looping trail her dad was drawing and she started adding heart shaped flowers with leaves.
"Because I remember…what that's like. To see everyone else with something you want and don't have."
"You mean a dad." Scott concluded neutrally, giving no hint as to what he thought of this. Instead he circled round and added budding roses to her vine.
"Yeah…I used to…feel crummy that the other kids had dad's and I didn't." Angie finally tipped her head sideways and leaned it against Scott's shoulder. "Now…now it's the opposite. Now I wish I had both you and Mommy. I don't like knowing how Sarah feels…or at least knowing how she might feel. It was easier when she was just a mean girl who said things and picked on me for no reason other than she was a jerk."
"That's understandable."
Shifting his arm, Scott tugged her whole chair closer so they were right side by side. Then he put his arm around her so she was tucked in between both while they drew on her homework. Somehow it was a relief that he didn't have any solutions or answers for her. If he did, it might have felt like he was trivializing her thoughts or trying to fix things when she just needed him to listen. Sometimes Mommy used to give more advice than her silence and undivided attention.
Shrugging as she settled comfortably into him, Angie added, "That's it."
Scott nodded, resting his scruffy cheek against the top of her head as he completed the looping trail of leaves, vines and flowers.
Getting the sinking feeling that maybe she'd said something wrong, Angie spoke again.
"Daddy?"
"Uh huh?"
"I…I know if things were different…you would have been there."
Angie felt Scott's cheek lift and a moment later he pressed a firm kiss into her hair, causing the twisting in her tummy to settle.
"You're right. I would have done my darndest if things were different. Can't change the past though," Tapping the remainder of the grammar questions, his tone shifted, "Alright, get these done. What else is there?"
"Math. And then there's some geography homework. We're learning about the different biomes. This week it's the Rainforest. I just have to color in a map and label it."
"Alright, let's get it done. Drink that water too. You don't drink enough."
The evening passed quickly, but pleasantly. Angie got her homework done and after that they went for a bike ride.
When they stopped at a park, Scott let her play for a few minutes before sitting them both down on a bench and sharing a little about his day. Sometimes he did that now, and Angie loved it. He could make the most mundane thing he did that day sound interesting when he spoke.
"I met with the new Social Work. Her name is Leslie," he said. "I think you're going to like her."
"Did you like her?" Angie asked, happy to base her opinion of the woman off his.
"Yeah, actually, I did! She was pretty helpful today. We discussed a few ideas that I want to run past you, to see what you think."
"Ok!"
"First one is that we were wondering how you might feel about talking to someone about how you're feeling with everything that happened with your mom and then coming to live with me."
"Talking to who?" Angie asked slowly, not overly loving the sound of it.
"Someone who knows a lot about grief and how to help little people like you work through it so it doesn't hurt so much."
"Who are they?"
"There's a lady named Gloria who helps kids who've been through the same kind of stuff you've been through. Auntie Naima knows her and says she's wonderful. We could set up a meeting and see if you'd like to talk to her or not."
"Will you come with me?"
Scott frowned behind his sunglasses, panning his gaze around them. He did that alot when they were out. Always watching, always noticing things. Angie started doing it too, just for fun, to see what was so interesting. It turned out there was all kinds of stuff always happening around them and she kinda liked people watching. The habit fueled all kinds of ideas for the stories in her head.
"I can try to schedule it for when I'm home, Angie, but I can't promise anything."
"Ok." Angie tried to hide how unenthusiastic she was about being reminded of that. It was already hard with how often Daddy was away and they hadn't even gotten to the 'deployment' talk. According to Jameelah that was still months away, but Angie really didn't like the idea of it at all.
"Do you want to think about it and we can talk about it again later?"
"Yeah," Angie sighed and leaned her head into his shoulder, watching as a mother chased her toddler across the park, trying to clean their nose. The child was having a grand old time with it. The mother? Well that was debatable. Angie wondered if she used to do things like that to her mother.
"Leslie also wants to meet you and to see how you're doing."
Annoyance and worry bubbled in her chest and Angie asked, "Is it going to be like with Ronda? With all the questions and stuff?"
"Probably a little."
"Can you be there?" Angie asked, forgetting that she already knew what his answer would be.
"I will try. If I can't be, she's going to meet you at school one day over lunch."
"I don't like the questions and I don't like having to report about my feelings," Angie said, aware she was starting to feel cross and not sure how to stop it.
"That's fair." Scott answered her without judgment. "I don't much like the questions either when I get asked stuff like that. But, at the end of the day, sometimes the questions help us figure things out inside which is better than burying it. Burying it causes problems."
"Like what?"
Daddy leaned back, releasing a long breath as he rested his arms across the back of the bench.
"Burying it can make you angry. Or sad. Can make it hard to focus on other parts of your life. Sometimes it makes you feel messy inside until it all just…spills over and you say and do things you didn't mean to." Scott tapped his hand lightly on the back of the bench, still scanning the world around them like a watchdog. "Don't bury it Angie. Do the work now and you'll thank yourself down the road."
Chewing her lip as she considered the man next to her, knowing he'd lost his dad around the same age she lost Mommy, Angie asked quietly, "Did you bury it?"
Scott huffed a humorless laugh and ruffled her hair lightly, "I've buried a lot of things over the years…myself in the process."
He tilted his head down so he could see her and offered a grim smile that only just pulled up the corners of his mouth.
"Takes a long time to dig out, if you just let this stuff sit for years and years, pretending you're fine and doing everything you can to avoid looking at what hurts. Don't do that Angie. Don't be like me. Don't be afraid to look at the stuff that's hurting inside."
Processing his words, Angie fiddled with the ends of her messy braids before saying, "I still don't love the idea of talking to a stranger about all the messy things I feel inside. I feel safer telling you and would rather keep doing that."
Daddy brought his arm down around her shoulders when she leaned into his chest.
"You can absolutely still tell me what's going on, Angie. I'd really like it if you did, but, we should really think about the possibility that maybe Gloria has some ideas or things to say that I haven't thought of yet. Just think about it, ok? You don't have to if you don't want to." Scott paused a moment before adding, "You do have to talk with Leslie though. That's not really an option at this point. I'm pretty sure you'll really like her though."
Frowning again, Angie flopped her head so her bangs covered her eyes and couldn't stop the sulky, "I don't understand why they can't just leave me alone. I'm happy where I am and I don't want to leave you!"
"Listen here, grumpy bear, I told you before you aren't going anywhere," Scott growled gently. She didn't sense any reprimand past the firm reminder of his words. "Meeting with Leslie has nothing to do with who you're living with. That one is set in stone. It's got everything to do with making sure you have as much support you can get. They were responsible for you before you ended up with me. It's their job to make sure you're doing ok."
Huffing a sigh, Angie mumbled, "Ok."
Daddy didn't say anything further about her being cranky, which she appreciated. Instead he nudged them both up to get back on the bikes saying, "One more thing. Friday, after school, I'll be picking you up and we're going climbing."
Her sour, tired mood vanished in an instant and Angie smiled, bursting with energy.
"Really?!"
"Uh huh. So get your work all done and pay attention in class so we can go enjoy it right way."
"Ok!" Angie sang as she put her helmet on, shoving her bangs out of the way and buzzing with excitement. Climbing the park equipment was fun, but she really wanted to climb something different and exciting.
