"Why do I have to stay longer?"
He could tell Angie was trying not to whine in that hushed, whispered voice, but she wasn't having much luck. She'd perked up some since falling asleep again. That was after being poked, prodded, blood taken and run through the paces by her nurse. The young woman was a hard task master and had the child up and walking before she left the room. Angie hadn't liked that at all and it wiped her out. Metal knew why they had to do it though and did his best to encourage her to do as she was asked. She braved everything with less coaxing than she'd needed before the surgery, but she'd still been scared. He was glad she slept for as long as she did and woke with less pain. She was speaking better already.
"Daddy?" Angie pressed in a softer tone, like she was worried he'd fallen asleep and she didn't want to wake him up.
Opening his eyes, Metal looked at her. The fact she was trying so hard not to be grumpy and still looked like she'd been hit by a truck kept the headache sitting behind his eyes from getting worse.
"Because they want to take a few more tests and make sure it's safe to send you home."
Sighing and fidgeting with her blankets, Angie mumbled, "I feel fine."
"Hmm." Metal leaned back into his chair further and closed his eyes again. He'd changed his shirt and pants while Angie was sleeping, but he wanted to get home and shower just as much as she wanted her own bed. "Do you. Then maybe you'd like me to call the nurse and you can walk across the room and use the bathroom again."
There was a long silence, as he expected, while Angie debated. Her first attempt at standing and moving hadn't gone well and she'd been discouraged.
"I just don't like it here." Angie finally told him, anxiety easy to hear in her wispy voice.
Drawing a slow inhale, Metal re-opened his eyes and said, "Alright. So we take your mind off things. Want me to read again?"
Angie shook her head and managed in that same, soft whisper, "I can't focus on it…missed too much. Don't want to miss anything."
He caught the way her fingers clutched the blankets harder when there was an announcement in the hall over the PA. Metal didn't pay much mind to it, but he knew it was dragging up things Angie didn't want to remember.
He leaned forward, not sure if this was the right call or not, but out of ideas. He wasn't about to put Dora the Explorer on for her. One of the other nurses had done that and he'd nearly laughed out loud at the look on Angie's face. She was not impressed.
"Ok. So if we can't ignore it, why don't we face it?"
The suggestion was met with a wrinkled brow, serious dark brown eyes and a thoughtful lip chew.
"I don't know," Angie answered. "How would we do that? And wouldn't it just be scarier?"
"Might be, but better to face your fears than let them take over your head and heart." Resting his forearms on the edge of the bed, he took her small hand in his own for what felt like the hundredth time in 36 hrs. "Why don't you start by just telling me what keeps making you feel so restless. I can see your eyes darting around, like you're trying to find a way out. What's making that happen?"
Squeezing his hand back, Angie frowned and looked around the room, thinking.
"I don't like the smell," Angie whispered. "And…and the bed…every time I see the bed all I can think of is Mommy laying in it."
"Ok. What else." Metal ignored the way his stomach twisted as he listened, reminded of how much his little girl had to face alone.
"I don't like the sounds, in the hall and in the room." Angie shuddered again when a second call went over the PA.
"Alright." Metal rubbed his chin, scratching the stubble as he thought about it. "We can fix those a little. Want to try?"
Tearing her eyes from where they'd been darting around the room again, Angie nodded eagerly and whispered, "How?"
"Well, first we need things to override those senses and replace them with something that make you feel safe. Things that you don't associate with a bad memory," Metal scanned the room, thinking. "I could ask Naima to bring something from home, something maybe that smells better than the-"
"Wait! Daddy! I like how you smell and you make me feel safe!" Angie interjected eagerly. "Can I have your sweater to snuggle with!?"
Momentarily speechless, Metal blinked at his daughter, drinking in the hopeful expression and knowledge that she associated his smell with feeling safe and good memories.
"Daddy?"
The softer, hesitant little voice broke the spell and Metal automatically slipped the hoodie over his head and held it out to her saying gruffly, "Yeah, little bear, here."
Uncertainty melted from the child. She grabbed the hoodie and immediately disappeared into it.
Metal waited, blank expression cracking as he observed the kid's head poke out of the top of the sweater and then her arms swim in the sleeves.
"Uh…Daddy? Can you help me?"
"You get stuck?"
"Yeah."
A chuckle slipped out and he got up, easing the edges of the hoodie down around her and helping to find her hands in the sleeves.
"You know, you could have just used it like a blanket."
Angie's nose wrinkled and she flipped the hood up saying, "But now I have an adventuring hood and pretend it's a magic cloak."
Melting inside and humbled that she'd let that one slip, Metal allowed a smile as he sat down again.
"Oh yeah? So where are we adventuring and why do we need a magic cloak."
There was a moment where Angie froze, side eyeing him like she'd just realized she let on that she played 'pretend'. Not that he didn't already know that she did to some extent at least. She and Jameelah played elaborate games on a regular basis whenever they thought adults weren't listening and no one wanted it to end, so they never said a word about it to either girl.
Waiting, Metal hoped he hadn't pushed her too far, keeping her side look steadily and warm with brow raised curiosity.
Biting her lips together and disappearing under her hood, Angie said quietly, "I don't know. But…but the magic cloak would be a shield and make me invisible to evil."
"Hm. Invisible and shielded. Sounds like you're on an epic quest."
"Yeah. But…but I got hurt, along the way. And now…I'm stuck in a castle."
"Whose castle is it?"
Angie peeped out at him and answered solemnly, "The Governors Castle. He makes the rules right now and he doesn't want me to find the Fairy Queen. She's in hiding."
"How'd you get the cloak?" Metal asked, unable to help himself because the kid clearly had figured out a decent number of details for this daydream of her's.
"The Guardian brought it for me."
"Yeah?"
"Uh huh. He's gonna break me out of the castle."
"That sounds like fun. How's he gonna do that?"
Eyes burning with growing excitement, Angie thought about it for a bit before pulling a frown.
"I'm not sure," She said.
"Is he welcome in the Castle, or does he have to infiltrate it."
The frown shifted and Angie perked up, "Infiltrate."
"Hm. Skills?"
"Ah…I don't know that either. Do you know?"
Seizing the opportunity to distract the child and himself from the bleak four walls around them, minus the splash of color that the flowers from Jameelah sent gave, Metal thought about it.
"Well, what do you know about this Guardian so far? Maybe we can figure it out from there."
Going quiet again, Angie disappeared under the hoodie as she thought about it, hunkering down gingerly against the pillows.
"He protects people," She said, shifting her toes and letting her hands disappear into her sleeves. "And…and listens, and…bad guys are scared of him."
"Hm. Sounds like superman." Metal answered, thinking about different heroes from stories that could fit that description. "What's he up against going into this castle to get you out?"
"Um," Angie emerged again and Metal had nagging feeling he just missed something important. "There's lots of guards. And a magical barrier, and…and a dragon ."
"Dang. A dragon! Sounds serious. Does this guy get to bring friends? He might need some back up."
Seeming to like this idea, Angie nodded eagerly and ventured to move more than she had in the last twenty minutes.
"Of course he does!"
"Alright, well we're gonna need a way in. Any sewers?"
"Ew!"
"Yeah, they're no fun. Scratch that. What about an old tunnel system?"
"A crypt! " Angie breathed, half delighted by her idea and half horrified. "Under the castle! There's monsters sleeping down there too!"
"Monsters? Geez, this guy has it all. That's alright. What can we use against the monsters?"
"Fairy magic. They want their queen back so they gifted everyone with tools to fight the monsters."
"Perfect. Alright, so we come in through the crypts. Where in the Castle do we come out?"
"The dungeon," Angie declared with grim determination. "It's right above the crypt."
"Any guards we can take the place of and sneak in wearing their clothes?"
Nodding vigorously and clasping her hands, Angie confirmed that there was and that she liked that idea too.
"Yeah! You can use the fairy dust to make them sleep and then take their armor and sneak in dressed as them and then Uncle Bro- I mean- The Ranger- has to go tame the dragon so we have something to escape on!"
There was a tiny delay as Metal finally caught on to what he'd missed earlier.
A team coming to break her out. A Guardian who was shielding and protecting. He had a funny feeling she meant him and her Uncles.
Pretending he didn't notice, Metal nodded seriously while putting to use all his skills at keeping his emotions off his face.
"Good call. No one should be keeping a dragon as a guard dog and it may as well be our friend."
Sighing with contentment and releasing a bit of tension that had gathered around her shoulders after her second slip up of the hour, Angie smiled shyly, "Yeah. It's not the dragon's fault."
"Ok. So The Ranger goes to tame the dragon, where are the rest of us? How do we get to you?"
"Well…we're-"
Just then there was a knock at the door announcing the return of Angie's nurse and the child was brought back to reality, shutting down instantly as the light fell from her face and the healthier glow left her cheeks.
Metal took her hand in his and let the nurse enter.
"Good news, Angie!" Said Bridgette as she walked in with a smile. "Your labs all look good, and the doc says after he's seen you one more time, you get to go home! Goodness! Don't you look cozy in there! That's a way better blanket than these boring old hospital blankets."
Peeking out from under the hood, Angie brightened again, sweaty little wisps of hair framing her cheeks.
"Really? I can go home soon?"
"Yes, ma'am. But you and I have to make another trip around this room first. Let's see if we can do that before the doc comes."
With more enthusiasm than the last time, Angie was already starting to try to get out of bed.
"Slow down there, Mini Metal." Metal growled, reaching to stop the kid from hurting herself, mildly annoyed and amused that she really was just like him when it came to this stuff.
Angie winced with her quick movements and then involuntarily clutched her right ear.
"Angie? You ok?" Bridgette caught the movement right away and honed in on it.
"I'm ok." Angie managed.
"Does your ear hurt?"
Big fat tears surfaced and Angie looked miserably up at Metal for help, clearly not wanting to answer that question.
"Come on, little bear," He said quietly. "Tell her if it does. It's ok."
Blinking so those droplets fell down her nose, Angie confirmed it.
"Oh, no, honey, it's ok! Earaches are really common with getting tonsils out, I just need to know so I can chart it, that's all, and then we can look in the ear and make sure there isn't anything more."
"They are?" Angie croaked hopefully. "It doesn't mean I can't go home?"
"Yeah! We'll get an information package together to go through with you and your dad in a few minutes here so you both have a better idea of what to expect ok?"
Satisfied, Angie started moving to get out of bed again, saying tightly, "Ok. Let's walk then. I want to go home."
The child faltered somewhat when Bridgette validated that sentiment kindly and Angie added, "Not that you aren't nice…and thank you for taking care of me."
A slow smile slipped over Metal's face and he tried to hide it. Damn, his kid was something else. Him one second and her mother the next. He wouldn't trade her for the world.
"Alright, kiddo, drink this up for me. It shouldn't be too hot now."
Emerging from her blankets on the couch, Angie reached up for the cup of slightly warmed soup that her dad was holding out to her. She didn't like eating right now or even drinking, but she'd just gotten home and knew that if she wasn't making progress they would have to go back to the hospital again, so she didn't complain. It was all soft, liquid food right now. She hated that part because she was so hungry now that she was home.
"Temp?" Scott asked, pausing as he sat down next to her and grabbed the remote, hunting for a movie on Disney that he'd wondered if she might like.
"It's good." Angie smothered a grimace. "Just…everything hurts."
Brow wrinkling with a compassionate grimace of his own, Scott nodded, "I know, little bear. It'll get better. Here…this one. Treasure Planet. You ever seen it?"
"No." Angie peered at the screen, intrigued.
"It's basically Treasure Island, only better."
"Do you like it?"
"Not gonna lie, it's a favorite."
"Ok!" Angie drank more of the broth and eased herself closer.
The contact when daddy's arm dropped around her shooed away the pain in her body. Ever since overhearing him talking to Auntie Naima, Angie was overwhelmed by the current realization of how much her father did love her. He'd even stayed behind when the rest of his team got spun up and she remembered from the last time he'd had to take time off work to look after her, back when this all began, he wasn't happy about it. Now, Angie would never have known her Uncles were gone and her father's attention was entirely on her, unreservedly.
Days drifted together after that, for Angie especially. At first she slept a lot and the smallest things would tire her out. Legos felt like building a giant city of rock some evenings, and when they painted together, Scott ended up doing more of the painting than she did. Even reading and watching movies was exhausting and Jameelah would fall asleep before the end.
Daddy said not to worry about it and that it was normal.
Angie wasn't sure. It seemed to be very inconvenient. For example when Jameelah came over on the Monday after school with Naima to drop off her week's worth of homework and another bundle of flowers from Ms. Finch. That small visit alone was enough to make Angie burst into tears the moment her cousin left and she'd fallen asleep while she cried in her dad's arms after that.
As promised, the days got easier and once she was able to go for short walks outside, Scott seemed to think it was time to have another talk with her about everything that happened.
When they were waiting for the cookies they'd made to bake he broached the subject.
"How are you feeling?" Scott asked, like he tended to throughout the day.
"A little better," Angie told him truthfully. She'd been feeling crummy just before her cat nap after lunch.
"Ok. Do you think you're up for chatting a bit?"
Tummy doing a somersault, Angie masked with a shrug and said, "I guess."
"You sure? There's some stuff we really need to talk about, but if you're not up for it, then it can wait."
Weary already, Angie nodded. "I'm ok."
"Alright. Let's cover the most important things and see how you feel after that."
"Ok."
Tugging carefully at the edges of her 'Mommy' blanket, Angie worked hard at not chewing her lip as she waited. She had a feeling this was going to be about her going to the carnival without permission and she didn't like it. The past days had been so wonderful, despite not feeling well. She and Daddy had been thick as thieves, doing everything together and there wasn't a moment that she felt his attention was lacking.
"Before I get into this, I want to make myself very clear; there is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less and there is nothing you have done that has diminished how much I care about you. You're stuck with me."
Tears creeping up, Angie dropped her eyes to the edge of the couch, nodding again before whispering, "This is about the carnival."
"Yeah," Daddy's gentle growl turned grim. "It is, little bear. So let's get it put to rest, ok?"
"I'm sorry." Angie whispered, wishing for the thousandth time that she hadn't lied.
"I know you are. And you've probably punished yourself way worse than I ever could have, Angie. Still. We need to talk about this because there are a few things you don't know that I think I should have told you when I said you weren't allowed to go."
Scott paused and Angie could feel his steely gaze on her. The air grew serious and heavy so Angie braced herself as her dad started to speak again.
"I've told you before, that with my job, I fight bad guys and I save good people, sometimes kids." Scott clasped and unclasped his hands a few times. "Sometimes, when you see a lot of bad things, it's hard not to be aware of the dangers of the world, and it makes you more…vigilant and cautious with the safety of the people you love. So I'm gonna level with you. Until I've met and spent time with the parents of your friends, you won't be allowed on outings with them. I won't be allowing sleepovers unless they happen at the home of someone I know extremely well and trust with my life, like your Uncle Ray's or our own home. This isn't to be mean, and it isn't to say that the parents and people you'd be with are bad people, however…it's my job to keep you safe and I don't give my trust easily, especially not when it comes to taking care of you."
Taking in the information with a growing frown, Angie tried to accept it and understand.
Scott called her on it instantly.
"You've got a frown, kid. I know you're not happy with me. Let's talk it out. Tell what's in your head."
Trying to wrap her brain around the 'dangers' that her father saw, Angie chewed her lip to the point of making it bleed and lifted big, worried eyes.
"W-what would make…people bad in a way that I couldn't have a sleepover?" A thought occurred to her and Angie took a horrified gulp of air. "Do you think they're like Uncle Curt?"
"I don't think it's likely," Daddy answered soothingly, although he still had those grim, stern lines. "That being said, I also don't know it's not likely…yet."
Feeling uncomfortable, Angie tried to rationalize that she'd been safe even if Scott had been worried she wasn't.
"Lilly's parents were really nice…and her dad made sure we all stayed together at the carnival and her mom would check the bathrooms for us before we used them. She said she wanted to make sure no one was in there. And then she would stand right outside the door until we were done."
"I'm really glad to hear that. Sounds like they worked hard to keep you safe. Still. I don't know them, Angie. I'm not saying it's impossible to get to know them to a point where I would be comfortable with you being with them. I just…I'm not good at letting go of the stuff I've seen and the stuff in my head doesn't go away easily. I want to keep you safe."
"But- Daddy, why wouldn't I be safe?" Angie whispered, pleading now as she tried to understand. Uncle Curt was easy. Mommy said he was a bad guy and could tell her why instantly. Daddy was worried more about 'what if's' and she couldn't' figure out which 'what if's' were the issue.
The emotion that flickered through Scott's face was unfathomable, to the point where he seemed in pain as he reached to scoop her close.
"Little bear…I don't know how to make this not scary. It's my job to jump at shadows, not yours." Pressing a kiss into the crown of her head, Scott held her close and went quiet for a good while before he decided how to tackle her question. "Let's take the carnival as an example. Some parents wouldn't see the dangers there. They would see a lively event to let their kids run wild at. I see opportunities in that environment for bad guys to…take someone. Easily. That's why I didn't want you going."
"Oh." Angie shuddered at the idea of being snatched away by some stranger. Her mother had instilled at least a healthy enough fear of that in her already and she felt silly for not thinking of it.
"As it happened, the parents you were with handled it all well and Lily's dad works in a branch of the military not overly different from my own. I did some digging and asking around, and he checks out as a good, trustworthy man, so you were in good hands that day. Still. I don't love the idea of you being in that kind of environment without me or one of your uncles there to keep you safe."
"Ok." Angie shivered again, burrowing closer, her breath growing shorter and shallower.
"There's other stuff too, Angie, that I'm trying to keep you safe from, but we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. It's not a fun thing to talk about or think about."
Thinking, Angie tried to find a middle ground. She both did and didn't want to know.
"What if- What if I just trust you from now on to know what's safe, and then I can ask why if I want to know why?"
"You can absolutely ask why, and I will promise to always do my best to explain if you want to know the reason. Never think that you can't ask, Angie."
"Ok." Angie took a shaky, deeper breath. "Mommy and I had a conversation once about safe people and not safe people. Is…do you say 'no' to all that stuff because if you don't know the people you don't know if they're a safe person or not?"
"I think so. Explain to me what you and your mom talked about, so I understand better."
"Well…I didn't really like it. It was kinda scary, but we talked about how safe people would never tell you to keep a secret from your parents, and that safe people would never do something that would make me feel gross or icky inside, and we talked about appropriate and inappropriate touch, and what to do if that ever happened." Angie shuddered again, curling in on herself. "Daddy…it's scary. I don't like thinking about it."
"I know, baby girl." Daddy hugged her tightly again, chasing away that nervous, dark, icky feeling inside. "That's exactly why I'm gonna say 'no' sometimes. I never want you in a bad situation and I don't want you to worry about them. That's my job."
"Why are people bad?"
"Age old question." Scott sighed. "Some people are just bad and it's better not to think about it too much."
"But how will I keep from being a bad person if I don't think about it?"
Scott's chuckle vibrated through his chest into her ear unexpectedly at her question.
"Angie, I don't think you have to worry about being a bad person. Trust me."
"I do trust you." Angie answered truthfully, relaxing into him as the conversation steered from uncomfortable topics.
"I'm glad," Scott told her with a warm growl. "I hope you always feel like you can trust me, no matter what it is. I'll help you, I'll listen, we'll figure it out together. You don't always have to tell me what's going on, Angie, but please…. please don't lie and say you're fine when you're not. Tell me you don't want to talk about it, and that's enough for me, but don't lie. Don't pretend to be ok if you aren't and don't hide something because you're afraid of how I might react. I promise to always be on your side, even if you've done something wrong and have to face the consequences."
"Ok." Angie said in a soft voice.
"As for lying and going to the carnival when I said you weren't to go," There was another long pause, then Daddy spoke again. "We already established you've punished yourself worse than you could ever have been punished by me, and my walking out on you was just as bad as your transgression, so, I'll be lenient this time. When you're feeling back to normal, you'll be doing some extra chores for two weeks, both here and at the Perry's."
"That's it?" Angie's head lifted, body going rigid with shock.
"That's it. You suffered enough because of your own actions and mine. Let's use the chores as reinforcement for what you've learned. Oh…and I'll be doing extra chores right along with you."
"You will?" That floored Angie further.
Scott shrugged. "I messed up too. It's only fair."
Angie flung her arms around his neck so she could hug him properly, her nose buried in his shoulder.
"I love you, Daddy!"
"I love you too, Angie," Daddy returned her embrace with as much warmth as she'd given it. "Want to know a secret?"
"Yeah!"
"I love my job. A lot. I've never not wanted to get on that plane and go fight bad guys…until you came along. Now there are days when I don't want to get on that plane because I know it'll be taking me away from you. And kid? You're the brightest part of my world. I love being with you. I'd never give you up, not for anything. You're stuck with me."
Speechless and beaming with happiness, Angie squeezed her arms tighter again and released a sigh of contentment.
She almost didn't want to get better, then she could have Daddy with her forever.