Blurb: At the end of a bad week, at the end of a horrible day, Ed Ferrars wants to go home and wall himself off from the world. Lucy, on the other hand, wants to go out. Modern S&S AU, companion piece to Drynuary For Hookups but set a few years earlier.

Rating: mature teen (teen plus). No profanity but there is sexual innuendo/dirty jokes/coarse language, mentions of promiscuity, and sexting (including the words "dick pic" and "vibrator"). No actual sexy times. The main character is clearly less comfortable with sexuality than others. (or maybe he's stressed/introverted/just not into her?) No physical violence. References to a cold (unloving) parent and a soul crushing work environment. Introvert being forced to hang out with extroverts. Mentions of (moderate) alcohol as a coping mechanism. Stress headaches. Not a happy ending in this story, but you know how it goes.

EXTREMES IN DATING

It was after 5 o'clock on Friday and all Edward Ferrars wanted to do was shut off his brain for the next 60 hours. He wanted to go home, drink beer from a bottle, eat food out of a bag, and watch something sparkly and pointless on TV. He hated his job, and working a full week of it drained his soul.

Unfortunately, his phone chimed at him as he reached the parking garage and unlocked his car. When he checked the screen, there was a text from Lucy: So excited! Pick me up at 6:30!

Just reading it made his face hurt. He had gone on a few dates with Lucy Steel and they had already made plans to get together before he realized that this week would destroy his joy in living, but right now the thought of spending time with people was agonizing.

He could have texted her before getting into the car and begged off. He should have. She would have had enough time to make other plans. She also would have had the opportunity to call him while he was driving and wheedle him into changing his mind. After the week he'd just had, after the 3pm call that lasted two hours on a Friday and sapped his will to stand up for himself, he didn't trust himself to respond to Lucy just now. He just needed to get home, lock the door behind him, and worry about sorting it out later.

He shoved his phone in his pocket and drove back to his apartment. It chimed once more on the road, probably Lucy wondering why he hasn't replied yet. He kept his hands on the wheel and drove on.

As he was fumbling with his keys to unlock his front door, the phone rang. He nearly dropped the keys while reaching for the phone, hoping that it was not his mother.

Unlike people his age, his mother did not text. She didn't talk much on the phone either, just used it as a means to set up a dinner or other meeting where she could speak face to face with her disappointing son. She had no doubt heard about his performance by now and wanted him to come over at his earliest convenience to explain what part of his job was still so hard for him to grasp and what he was going to do to guarantee that this wouldn't happen again.

To his infinite relief, Lucy's name appeared on his screen and he accepted the call.

"Babe!" Lucy cried. "Where were you? I was starting to get worried."

He shoved the key in the lock finally and turned. "I just got home," he said. "Look, Lucy, I have an awful headache. I just want to go to bed, I'm sorry. I need a raincheck for tonight." With another twist, his door swung open and he tripped inside. Home at last!

"What? What's wrong? I haven't seen you all week!"

"It's been a long week and a bad day," he tried to explain. "I just want to close my eyes and not think again until Monday morning."

"No! No, wait!" He could hear her thinking. "I miss you, babe. And you sound like you need someone to take care of you right now."

God, that would be lovely. Someone to take care of him rather than condescending, to be gentle rather than rude or impersonal.

"Okay, how about this?" Lucy suggested. "My friend invited us over for dinner. I told her no at first because I figured we'd go out, but I'll call her back and get us reinvited -"

"Lucy, I don't want to go out," he pouted.

"Going to Jenna's for a home cooked meal is hardly the same as going to a club," she told him. "You had a bad day, you probably didn't eat lunch, you're hungry and it's making you feel worse. Let me take care of you."

He made a sulking noise. He really didn't want to leave his apartment but she was right about lunch, and probably the rest of it.

"Take an aspirin or whatever for the headache," Lucy instructed, her voice laced with what might have sounded like maternal concern if Ed's mother had been motherly. "And drink a big glass of water since you're probably dehydrated too. Then take a nice, hot shower. Put on some comfy clothes, and then call me back."

He wanted to protest. He wanted to go straight to bed and pull the blankets over his head and… and probably lie there in agony while his headache only grew worse. Yes, he would do as Lucy asked but only because he realized how sensible it was.

"Okay," he grumbled.

He could hear her smile back at him. "Love you. Bye!" And she hung up.

He stared at the phone for a bit. Love you? Thank goodness she hadn't stayed on the line long enough to notice he didn't say it back. He liked Lucy but they had been dating for only a month, and hadn't spent much of that time together given his unrelenting work schedule. How was he supposed to know if he loved her? How had she figured out that she loved him?

It was all a bit of a mystery.

.o8o.

The shower worked wonders. The next time he wanted to take a nap, he should just take a shower instead.

He pulled a faded college sweatshirt over his head and stared at his phone. Maybe he could just forget to call Lucy back, just lie down and close his eyes for 15 minutes and see what happened.

Then a sense of obligation, ingrained after a lifetime, began to pick at his peace. "Just call her," he bullied himself. "You don't have to agree to go out, but she'll worry if she doesn't hear from you."

He groaned at himself and grabbed the phone.

It rang twice.

"Edward! How are you feeling?"

"Where are you?" he asked. She only called him Edward in front of other people. She only called him Babe when they were alone.

"I went to my sister's to hang out while you were getting ready," she said simply. "Are you feeling better now?"

He was, and admitted as much. "But I think I still want to stay home tonight," he added. "Tell your friend I'm sorry and I'll see her next time."

"What? No, no, no, I've got it all planned out," said Lucy. "Jenna is already making dinner for us. We just need to show up. You can sit on the couch and drink beer or watch TV or whatever while she finishes up. Then we'll get you fed and then home to bed."

He was already home, he was already in his bedroom, he didn't need to go anywhere. "Lucy," he began.

"Please?" she immediately countered. "Please, Babe? I know you'll have a good time, you just need to get out for a little bit and relax."

He sighed heavily. He knew how this was going to end: with him caving to Lucy's request. All the time he spent delaying the inevitable would only postpone the moment when he truly could crawl into bed.

"Fine," he said grimly. "Fine," he said again. He sounded tired and petulant but he had agreed to this which was all Lucy needed to hear.

"Wonderful, Babe. I'll text you where I'm at now. Just swing by and pick me up and we'll be on our way to Jenna's." Having secured her objective, she blew him a noisy kiss and hung up. A few seconds later, his phone pinged as she sent the address to him.

.o8o.

He sat in his car and stared at the front door of the apartment building. He could see shapes moving behind the curtains before the lights abruptly went out and the door opened.

Lucy stepped out and stood there while her sister locked up, then the two women approached the car together.

There was an awkward moment when the other woman tried to open the back door and found it was locked but Ed quickly pressed the button to allow her to get into his car.

"Um, hello?" he said.

"Edward, Babe, this is my sister Nancy. I'm so excited you two finally meet," Lucy enthused as she slid into the front passenger seat. "We're taking her with us to Jenna's."

He looked questioningly at the woman in the backseat who launched into a long monologue of how she's known Jenna since forever but hadn't seen her in ages and she was so excited for this dinner and Jenna was always the best hostess and there was this one time in high school when Jenna's parents went out of town and she threw a dinner party like other teens might throw a real party and it had turned into a real party anyway but the chicken casserole was absolutely amazing and people still talked about it to this day and -

"Lucy?" Ed asked, cutting off the monologue from the backseat.

His girlfriend mostly faced forward so her sister in the backseat couldn't see her expression but she looked apologetic to Ed. Her words, on the other hand, were meant to be heard by the both of them. "Nancy and Jenna haven't hung out together in forever. And I thought that, if Nancy was helping Jenna, that would give me more time to hang out with you."

That was all Nancy needed to hear to launch into another story about how she and Jenna had nearly failed a semester because they were too busy talking to each other to ever go to class. Lucy took pity on him and quietly fed him directions, not disturbing her sister's storytelling until Ed realized she had led them to a grocery store parking lot.

"Lucy?" He said, speaking right over the chatterbox in the backseat who had become a sort of radio channel to him. "Does your friend live here?"

Lucy laughed. "No, Babe, but she texted me that we needed to pick up a few things that she forgot. I'll be quick. You can stay in the car if you want."

Ed thought about it, but I'll be quick implied that Nancy might stay in the car with him if it was an option. With a small shudder, he replied, "No, we'll all go."

"Oh! Let's divide the list and split up into teams and race to see who can get all their stuff faster!" Nancy suggested as she grabbed a cart and wheeled it forward.

Ed frowned. "How many things do we need to get?" he asked.

"Just a vegetable," said Lucy. "And some cookies for dessert. And whatever we want to drink. And I was going to get you those pretzels you like for a snack while we wait for Jenna to finish cooking everything."

"Oh! Can we get grapes too?" asked Nancy. "I'm trying to snack healthy." Then she grabbed Lucy's hand and tugged. "Come on, boy versus girls."

Lucy seemed willing to follow along. "Babe, get the veg and pick out a beer or something. We'll meet you at the check out." And with that, the two women disappeared down an aisle of canned foods.

Ed stared after them for a bit, then sighed wearily. He would have liked the opportunity to talk to Lucy without her sister providing constant background chatter, but then again, why would he expect to get what he wanted in any part of his life?

With slumped shoulders, he trudged toward the produce aisle.

He grabbed a bag of grapes for Nancy then stared at the shelves of green. What kind of vegetable was he supposed to get? He had no idea what Lucy's friend was preparing tonight, and therefore no idea what should go with it. He stood there in the produce aisle for five minutes, guessing and second-guessing until he realized he was overthinking this. He grabbed a bunch of asparagus, shoved it in a plastic baggie, and wandered off to the beer aisle.

At least the decision making was easier with alcohol. He knew what he was in the mood for, and he was supposed to be getting something for himself. He grabbed a six pack from the refrigerated case, then grabbed some ciders for Lucy. Hoping that he wasn't too late, he headed for the cashiers.

Then he waited, fidgeting in place until a cashier asked if he wanted to check out. He did, but he wanted to wait for Lucy first. At the worker's suggestion, Ed left his items at the checkout and went in search of his girlfriend.

Lucy was in the bakery area, listening to Nancy weigh the relative merits of cheesecake and chocolate Bundt cake.

"Hey, Babe!" she lit up when she saw him. "Which dessert do you prefer?"

He frowned in confusion. "I thought you were going to get cookies."

"Got 'em!" Nancy triumphantly held up a box. "But maybe people want something else, so I'm trying to pick out a cake. I just can't decide which to get. Jenna likes cheesecake but I think George will like the other one more."

Edward tried not to frown. "Who's George?" he asked Lucy.

"He's just this guy," Nancy replied, obviously crushing on him. "I invited him because Jenna's such a good cook and they always say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Although, if that doesn't work, I could always aim a little lower."

Ed was mentally exhausted. He didn't even realize it was a dirty joke until Nancy threw back her head and cackled. Lucy joined in the laughter, slightly subdued. It was a known rule that siblings had to laugh at each other's jokes but Ed was not in the mood for that sort - any sort - of humor, and the loudness was causing his headache to come back.

After Lucy brought her mirth under control with a barely admonishing, "Nance!" the two decided to get both cakes and were finally ready to check out.

.o8o.

As soon as they reached Jenna's apartment and delivered the bag of groceries to the kitchen, Lucy took charge of Ed: she sent him to the sofa which was in front of a television currently showing reruns of a popular sitcom from two decades ago.

He started to get settled, beginning with the decision not to try to change the channel or whatever it was he was watching. The show was mindless and familiar, and he looked forward to zoning out in front of it.

Lucy and her sister came out in a few minutes. Nancy flopped down on the other end of the sofa with enough force that Ed could feel it, then grabbed a coffee table book off the table and began to look through it. Lucy rested her hands on Ed's shoulders, almost as if she was going to give him a massage.

"Babe," she said, and he noticed that she hadn't brought him a beer. "Can you come with me to the kitchen real quick?"

Ed looked up at her. Just that simple action felt like it consumed all of his energy. "Right now?" he asked, aware of the hint of whine in his voice.

Lucy pressed briefly on his shoulders, probably this was something meant to resemble a hug. "Real quick, I promise."

Ed sighed then somehow made himself upright and standing, then followed his girlfriend into the kitchen. Nancy stayed where she was.

The culinary emergency, as explained by Jenna (highly energetic but mostly focused on meal prep for now), was that she didn't know how to make asparagus.

"You've never eaten asparagus?" Ed asked before he could filter himself.

"I've eaten it," Jenna said as she checked a sauce bubbling on the range, "but I've never cooked it. I just thought it'd be easier to have you show me what you had in mind when you picked it out rather than Google something."

Ed wanted to protest, but Lucy was too quick for him. "Come on, babe, it'll be fun. I'll be your sexy little Sue Chef."

"Ooh, I have the perfect apron for that!" Jenna exclaimed, abandoning her spoon to grab something from the pantry.

Lucy put it on and giggled lasciviously. The apron had the relatively standard phrase, "Kiss the Cook," across the front but one of the letters was partially hidden behind an eggplant, and Ed chose not to read more into it.

Sous-cheffing involved Lucy fetching the equipment and Ed doing the work. Jenna asked questions as she watched Ed wash the spears and trim the ends before huffing, "That's too easy." Ed thought it might be a compliment.

Lucy took the baking sheet from him and gave him a beer in exchange. He took a long drink as Nancy came running into the kitchen.

"What is this!" she said, holding out the book from the coffee table.

"That's my anniversary present," Jenna replied. "It's all the texts that Rich and I sent to each other in our first year, starting with him asking me to coffee the day after we met."

"Jenna! That's adorable," Lucy said immediately. "Don't you think that's super adorable, babe?" she asked Ed to confirm.

It wasn't hard to guess that Lucy was imagining a similar book of texts between her and Ed. Ed wasn't sure he wanted to keep dating her long enough to reach the one year milestone. To stall for time, Ed took another drink.

"And what's this!?!" Nancy asked, dramatically opening the book to one specific page.

Ed kept his eyes open a half second too long. The image would be forever seared onto the back of his retina and he nearly spat his beer all over the kitchen counter. As it was, he barely choked it down and turned red in the face as he coughed and coughed. Lucy burst into loud, manic laughter and Nancy threw back her head and cackled.

"That's a dick pic, Nance," Jenna said with the calm self-assurance of someone who wasn't seeing anything new.

"Why would you -" Ed started to say before another coughing fit. "Why would you publish that in a book? Is your boyfriend okay with that?" He hadn't yet met this Rich guy but he had already seen too much of him.

"He's fine with it," Jenna batted away his concern. "There's only one copy of the book and it stays in our home. Nothing went in there that he didn't approve."

"Besides," Nancy grinned wickedly, "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." She turned the page and Ed really wished he had a mouthful of beer to choke on.

It was the quid pro quo to Rich's dick pic; Ed refused to think of it in terms of tit for tat and then found himself unable to put the phrase from his mind. It was a vibrator. It was Jenna's vibrator. It was half of Jenna's vibrator. And Ed didn't want to think about where the other half was.

Lucy and her sister were now shrieking in amusement, leaning against each other and the counter to keep from falling on the floor.

"You doing okay, Edward?" Jenna asked him, looking far too smug.

Ed nodded, blushing for the both of them. He grabbed his beer bottle and found it was empty.

Before Ed could decide what to do next, a voice boomed from the entrance to the kitchen.

"What is going on in here?" the man demanded.

"Richie, baby, you're home!" Jenna took a moment to smile at the newcomer which happened to coincide with Lucy and Nancy getting their laughter mostly under control. "You remember Nance and Lucy, right? Well, this is Edward, Lucy's boyfriend."

Rich took one look at Ed and the book laying open on the counter to Jenna's picture and blew out a dangerous sigh. "Jenna -" he began.

"It was Nancy's fault," Jenna deftly threw her friend under the bus as she pulled two beers from the fridge. She slid them over to Rich like a peace offering. "Can you put the book back and get Edward out of the kitchen while we finish up?"

Rich glared at Ed as he shut the book and grabbed only one of the beers. The invitation for Ed to follow him was only loosely implied as he stalked out of the room.

.o8o.

Dinner was… not as bad as at his mother's house. The food was good; Jenna was a good cook, her inexperience with asparagus notwithstanding. But Rich was silent pretty much the whole time, punctuated only by stony glares when Jenna tried to involve Ed in the conversation. For the most part, the three women talked loudly and nonstop. And the laughter; so much laughter. Ed could feel his headache hovering in the periphery, looking for an opening.

Ed sat there with his chin in his hand while the rest ate their desserts. He wanted to go and he didn't even know or care if he was being subtle about it. Just as he resolved to suggest that it was time to head out, Nancy's phone gave a distinctive chime and she grabbed it.

"It's George!" she squealed. "He's at The Pit and wants us to stop by!"

That sounded like the last thing Ed wanted to do tonight.

"I'm not going," declared Rich and he settled more firmly in his chair.

Jenna pouted but Rich was unmoved. He was done for the day.

"No problem, Jenna. Edward can drive us," Lucy offered. This perked up her friend but left Ed in stunned surprise.

"What?" he sputtered. "Lucy, I'm tired. I had a long week -"

"But you already need to drive Nance and me," she told him, taking it for granted that he would take them first to the bar in pursuit of George. "There's room in your car for Jenna to join us. I'm sure we won't stay long. And then we can just drop her off on the way home."

"Lucy," he said, then tried, "Babe," for emphasis. Lucy had used that word with him often, reserving it for private moments until today, usually when she wanted something. It was like a spoonful of sugar to make the rest of it bearable. He didn't like using it now but he figured she would understand what he was trying to say.

Lucy smiled dopily at hearing him use the moniker. "Aw, babe," she replied and leaned over to kiss him. "We'll be extra quick. And I am so making this up to you later."

"That settles it!" Nancy announced, eager to meet up with George. "Jenna, let's go."

Jenna did look at Rich but he just shooed her away. He didn't have the energy or desire to go out this late but he could make it up to her by spending 20 minutes cleaning up in the kitchen before bed.

Ed, on the other hand, was nothing more than a marionette, positioned by Lucy and the others until they were sitting in the car and Nancy was pulling up the directions on her phone.

"Lucy," he said quietly but sincerely, "I'm tired and I want to go home."

She patted his hand where it rested on the steering wheel. "Don't worry, Babe," she told him. "We'll go and see if George is even still there. If he's gone, there's no reason for us to waste another minute. Otherwise, we'll spend 15 minutes talking to him for Nancy's sake. Jenna and I will have to be wingmen but you can probably just sit at the bar and chill."

"Hopefully, he'll offer to take me home," Nancy said in the backseat, "at which point I need you to go before he changes his mind."

There was more cackling and no way to avoid the sound in the car.

.o8o.

The bar had a nominal cover charge which they had to pay no matter how long they planned to stay. Ed paid for all four of them and silently prayed that this was a waste of his money. Lucy had said they could leave right away if Nancy's crush wasn't there.

Oh, but George was there, holding up one end of the bar. Nancy squealed and called out to him. It was unnecessarily loud on top of the already unnecessarily loud background noise, and that's when Ed realized that his headache was officially back and worse than before.

Nancy and Jenna immediately darted forward to meet up with George. Ed just barely hooked his hand around Lucy's arm before she joined them.

"Lucy, I don't feel well," he told her. "I want to go home." He knew he was whining but he didn't care at this point.

"Babe!" she said, slipping effortlessly into concerned girlfriend mode. "My poor baby! Just let me make sure Nancy can get a ride with George and then I'll get Jenna and we can go."

She then kissed his cheek and slipped away through the crowd. He reached out for her but she was already too far ahead. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want to wait for Nancy or Jenna or even her, he wanted to go now. Instead he watched her approach the others and ease into their conversation. He waited for her to say something that would cause the group to break up but Nancy just handed her a bottle of beer and laughed loudly.

Ed needed to leave, except he couldn't. He couldn't abandon his girlfriend and the two other women without knowing they could get home safely. But he was also approaching the point at which his headache would impair his ability to drive. He needed to get outside, he needed quiet, he needed to get away from the neon and the noise around the bar, he needed to get home, he needed to -

There was a sign over a door that said, "Patio," and he was on the other side of it before he thought about it.

It was cooler outside, darker and quieter too. Ed let the door slam shut behind him and just stood there, breathing, in and out, until he could feel the edges of his headache receding. The air was good, therapeutic. If he could just stay out there until Lucy needed him to drive them home, he'd be okay.

After a moment, he opened his eyes and took stock of his surroundings. A portion of the outside space looked like it was set up for some throwing game and there was plenty of cheap outdoor furniture. It was all unoccupied except for one chair pushed to the back wall in nobody's way. A woman who was probably Lucy's age sat in it with her eyes fixed on him.

"Sorry," said Ed. He wasn't sure exactly how long he had stood blocking her exit, nor did he have any idea how unhinged he must have looked as he gulped deep lungfuls of air.

"Are you okay?" she asked, which was kinder than Ed could've imagined under the circumstances.

"Headache," he replied simply and slumped into the nearest seat. "I just needed to get outside."

"Do you need me to get your designated driver for you?"

Edward smiled humorlessly. "I'm the driver," he told her.

She frowned like that was a terrible idea and made a little noise before she offered, "Do you want me to get one of your friends to help you?"

Ed shuddered at the thought. "No," he said, weighing his words to make the situation sound better than it was, "I don't want to spoil their fun."

They fell into silence. It was nice, being quiet. It was nicer still being surrounded by quiet. At dinner, he wasn't called on to say much but he'd had to listen to a lot. Lucy had a sweetly flirtatious laugh when it was just the two of them but she also had an ear-piercing cackle which was apparently a family trait. He sighed and relaxed a little more.

"It's been a long week," he said eventually, trying to justify himself.

She nodded in sympathy but didn't press for details. "Look, I'm sure your friends will understand if you have to leave early."

Ed grimaced and not due to his headache. How many times has he told Lucy that he didn't want to go out or stay out? How many times had he told her that he wanted to go home? She'd heard him and decided against him anyway. "But I, I don't actually need to leave," he said instead. "My headache is feeling much better."

The woman sighed and wrung her hands. "Can I tell you a story?" It was probably a rhetorical question but Ed nodded anyway. "At the end of my junior year in highschool, m-my mom decided to move us back to her hometown to be closer to family."

Ed opened his mouth to ask why but the stranger was already waving away his question as irrelevant.

"It was a big adjustment. Luckily, my cousin and I were in the same grade so he took me under his wing and made Barton feel like home. The only problem with that is I'm an introvert. It was draining, always getting invited to the next thing, putting on a friendly face, trying to get a whole new group of people to like me. Often I didn't want to go out but John was acting with the best intentions and I didn't think I could refuse. I put myself under a lot of pressure to get along," she said, looking weary just from the memories.

"Then one day, I don't even remember whose house we were at, I got this text from my baby sister telling me to come home now. She and my other sister had watched a scary movie and, well, she was scared. For a moment, I was paralyzed with indecision: my little sister thought she needed me, but my cousin was counting on me too. But Maggie wasn't home alone; did she really need me? Plus, what would everyone else at the party think? John had given me a ride along with his girlfriend; if I left, all three of us would have to leave, and it wasn't a big party to begin with."

The patio door swung open abruptly and hit the wall with a loud, reverberating whack. Someone popped her head out and, clearly used to the loud background noise inside the bar, shouted, "Nora! Are you ready?"

The woman (Nora, Ed told himself; her name is Nora) wasted no more breath on her story. "Yes," she said to her friend, immediately standing and swiping imaginary crumbs from her table. "Ready when you are."

As Nora walked past him, Ed got her attention one last time. "What happened?" he asked. "What happened with the party and your cousin and all that?"

"I went home," she said with such simplicity that there had to be a trick to it. Before he could ask for more, she left.

Ed sat and stared after her, after the empty space that remained.

He was still sitting there an hour later when Lucy finally found him, still trying to make sense of Nora's words.

It was all a bit of a mystery.

/ THE END /

NOTES:

Parts of this date is based on a real-life story from a friend of mine. He is not like Ed but he did find himself in some of the same situations. Happy ending: my friend is now happily committed to someone else and living his best life with her and their dog.

If you enjoyed this, please give me a sign and maybe (re)read Drynuary for Hookups.