"I wish I could stay here all the time," Barty said as the trudged through the forest after Bellatrix and Rudolphus.
"What, here?" Rudolphus asked incredulously, frowning at a thorn-covered briar that had become entangled on his robes.
"Not necessarily this particular area, but with you two, and the Dark Lord." Barty tried to imagine it. Exciting scavenger hunts for obscure potion ingredients every day, dark magic lessons whenever he wanted, instead of merely furtively coming here on weekends. Every other weekend sometimes if he was unluckily busy at the Ministry. No more living with his parents, who still gave him a curfew, and frowned disapprovingly, every time they happened to be around to enforce it.
"Why do these mushrooms have to be picked so early in the morning anyway?" Rudolphus whined.
"They're most potent then," Bellatrix said, annoyance seeping into her voice. "Honestly, I know Hogwarts was a bore, but did you ever pay attention in class?"
Rudolphus grumbled a bit more about finicky potions, then suddenly lurched away from the narrow dirt path and shrieked.
"What, what is it?" Bellatrix asked as she pushed Rudolphus to the side and peered ahead. "Oh, it's just a little snake." The snake was a mottled brown and orange, had reared up displaying its checkered underbelly, and was hissing threateningly at Rudolphus. "Aww, how cute," Bellatrix cooed, leaning forward to stick a forefinger teasingly in front of the snake.
"Cute?" Rudolphus scoffed. "You'll get bit."
"Maybe he just wants an audience with the Dark Lord," Bellatrix mused as the snake struck at her finger half-heartedly and missed. She laughed, a delighted high-pitched sound that was almost a screech. "Feisty, isn't he?" She turned to Barty. "Go on then, give it a try. You've always had more luck with snakes and such."
He never really had more luck, Barty simply wasn't afraid of picking up creatures like snakes and spiders, much to his father's disgust.
Barty held his left arm out (the one with the mark he'd had to beg the Dark Lord to give him), and the snake flicked out its tongue a few times, then seemed to give a full body shrug, and slowly circled Barty's arm, ascending.
"I wanted a snake for a pet when I was younger," Barty said, watching the snake continue up his arm, "Dad said only Dark Wizards and peculiar Muggles keep them." Plus snakes were banned at Hogwarts, which really was unfair and uncalled for in Barty's opinion.
"There's peculiar ones?" Bellatrix asked. "I thought they all were peculiar."
"Well, yes," Barty amended, "But there's ones that are odd by Muggle standards. They even carry their snakes with them sometimes." He glanced down at the snake that was happily winding around his arm, soaking in the warmth. If the snake was this well-behaved all the time, he could hide it under his robes, take it into work, and no-one at the Ministry would ever… "Oh," he said, stopping in place as an idea occurred.
"What?" Bellatrix asked.
"I have an idea," Barty said, watching the snake intently. "We'll have to ask Lord Voldemort and the snake for permission of course, but what if I were to bring the snake with me to the Ministry one day?"
Bellatrix scoffed. "They wouldn't let you bring him there."
"Yes, but what if he stayed wrapped around under my clothing, and I let him out to wander around in my father's office?" Barty had an even better idea for keeping the snake secure while transporting to the Ministry, but it involved an obscure piece of Muggle fashion, and he didn't intend to bring Muggles up to Bellatrix twice in one day, lest she start questioning his loyalties.
Bellatrix looked suitably impressed. "And he could slither around through all the offices and report back to the Dark Lord next week!" She clapped her hands together. "Oh, it's so exciting I almost want to do spy work."
"You can't act," Rudolphus reminded her.
"Yes, Rudy darling, I know, but you don't have to be such a wet blanket about it," Bellatrix retorted.
"Can we just pick the damned mushrooms so we don't have to do this all over again tomorrow morning?" Rudolphus grumbled.
Bellatrix levitated a spider up onto Rudolphus' shoulder, and they ran, shrieking and cackling through the forest, with Barty following close behind, carefully cradling the snake as he ran.
Later, after they had picked enough Aniseed Funnel mushrooms to restock the potion supplies, they presented the snake to Lord Voldemort.
"Lord Voldemort," Bellatrix called, standing at the door of the study and respectfully knocking. "There's a snake that requires an audience with you."
The Dark Lord flung the door open and scowled down at them. His expression softened when he saw the snake wrapped snugly around Barty's arm. He hissed at it, a low, questioning sound.
The snake uncurled from Barty's arm enough to raise its head and hissed back. Barty listened intently, planning to try some of the words out later. Of all the hundreds of languages his father spoke, he definitely did not speak parseltongue, which of course, made the language incredibly appealing, and Barty wished he could learn.
The hissing continued back and forth for another ten minutes. Bellatrix watched the exchange with rapt devotion. Barty concentrated on trying to remember at least one sound, and Rudolphus shifted back and forth impatiently.
Finally, the conversation seemed to have come to a stopping point, and the snake curled securely around Barty's arm again. Voldemort appeared to be in an improved mood.
"What's his name?" Barty asked.
"You wouldn't be able to pronounce it," Voldemort said, "but you can call him Basil. He used to be owned by a Muggle, who didn't want him anymore and let him lose in the woods to fend for himself."
"Aww," Barty patted Basil on the head.
Bellatrix snorted. "If I had a dragon I didn't want anymore, maybe I should drop it on that Muggle's house."
Voldemort looked amused and hissed softly at the snake again.
"It took over ten minutes to say that?" Rudolphus grumbled.
"Yes," Lord Voldemort said, with just an edge of bad humour.
"O-of course," Rudolphus stuttered. "Please excuse me, my lord, it's been a trying day." Voldemort nodded at him and Rudolphus skulked off to another part of the house.
"Basil also said that he's willing to help with your spy plan in exchange for bird eggs or young mice," Voldemort said.
"Yargh!" There was a manly shriek and the sound of shattering glass from Rudolphus and Bellatrix's shared bedroom.
"Oh dear," Bellatrix said sweetly, an evil smile creeping onto her face, "I forgot to tell Rudolphus about the miniature snake figurine I enchanted to slide out from under the bed." Then louder, she shouted, "Rudy, darling, don't forget to fix any family heirlooms you break!"
There was another manly shriek and some cursing.
Barty turned his attention back to the snake wrapped around his arm. "I'll make sure Basil gets as many eggs and mice as he wants." Really, if he could keep the snake hidden from his parents, maybe he could keep him, for as long Basil wanted to stay.
Like cats, snakes could generally understand humans, they just rarely bothered to pay attention. Basil seemed to be paying attention at the mention of food, and curled tighter around Barty's forearm.
"Should I learn parseltongue?" Barty asked hopefully. "If Basil and I are to work together, I should at least know a few phrases. Maybe you could teach me?" The thought of Lord Voldemort teaching him parseltongue, was almost too incredible to imagine, and Barty gave him the most pleading look he could manage.
Lord Voldemort gave Barty a rare smile tinged with genuine amusement. "I'm certain you're clever enough to manage without speaking the language."
Barty averted his eyes and blushed. He had never been so kindly denied by an authority figure in his life. "Of course, Lord Voldemort," he whispered. "I'll do my best."