Chapter 1 The Reason

Kitty sat in the passenger car of the South Pacific Railroad train as it took her from New Orleans, Louisiana to the Arizona territory. She spent her nights in her private sleeper car, but during the day she sat in the passenger car and stared out the window. Watching the luscious cypress trees and southern pines pass by her window, Kitty became more and more anxious about her trip. She was going to see Matt Dillon, her former lover.

It had been almost fifteen years since Kitty had last seen Matt and over twenty years since she left Dodge City. Kitty leaned her head back against her seat and closed her eyes. While the train traveled to the Arizona territory, Kitty let her mind travel back twenty-three years. Her mind took her to the reason she decided to leave Dodge City, Matt Dillon, and anyone and anything else associated with Dodge City.

Twenty-Three Years Earlier

Kitty, dressed in her maroon skirt and a white blouse, walked down the boardwalk of Front Street. She was headed towards the post office. It had been over a week since she had checked to see if she had any mail waiting for her. Normally, she would not wait that long. It was a habit for her to make a trip to the post office at least once a week, but she had been busy.

Three months ago Kitty was sitting in the Long Branch enjoying coffee with Matt. Kitty was counting her wages from the night before. She needed to make a deposit at the bank and preferred to do so when the bank first opened up. Kitty was in the middle of placing her money in her bank pouch, when she saw the new bank teller walk by the Long Branch.

"It must be three minutes before eight," an amused Kitty said.

"How do you know?" Matt asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"For the past two weeks the new bank teller has walked past here at three minutes before eight," Kitty replied. She rose out of her seat. "I'll be right back."

"Alright," said Matt as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

Kitty had barely stepped out of the Long Branch, when a gunshot rang out, sending a bullet towards the Long Branch. It hit the wooden balcony above. Kitty quickly turned around and pushed through the batwing doors. Matt already had his gun drawn. Kitty explained the situation to Matt. Instead of exiting out the front of the Long Branch, Matt went out the back.

Kitty waited inside the Long Branch. She knew she had no business being out where the action was. Matt had enough to worry about. He did not need to worry about her, and Kitty was not going to make him worry about her. Standing in the Long Branch, Kitty heard Matt yelling to the bank robbers to drop their guns. That was followed by multiple gunshots. Kitty couldn't explain it, but something told her to go outside.

Like Matt, Kitty went out the back door of the Long Branch. She took a few steps outside, and saw Matt lying on the ground. Fear gripped her heart. Matt was lying there motionless, his right arm full of blood. She immediately went to him. He was still alive.

Several hours later Kitty sat in Doc's office. The examination table was covered in cloth soaked with Matt's blood. Kitty knew Matt's arm was bad, but had to remind herself that Matt was still alive. Doc had been in the back room tending to Matt. He walked out and joined Kitty.

"Is he gonna lose his arm?" Kitty grimly asked.

"No," Doc replied. "But it won't be much use ta him. He's gonna have to relearn ta do everything. Shaving. Everything."

"Will he be able to handle a gun?" Kitty asked. She knew Doc's answer would determine Matt's future as Marshal of Dodge City.

Doc saw the tears in Kitty's eyes as he delivered devastating news to her. It would be a long while until Matt could be Marshal of Dodge, if at all. Doc knew Kitty craved for Matt to turn in his badge and retire as Marshal of Dodge City. He also knew that Kitty would never want Matt's retirement to be like this, a forceful one. After Kitty was able to collect her emotions, she and Doc discussed that it would be best if she was there when the news about his arm was given to Matt.

Breaking the news to Matt had not been easy. It was one of the hardest things Doc and Kitty had to do. How do you tell a man, whose life was being a lawman, that he could no longer do what he loved? Matt took the news the way Kitty expected, in his own stubborn way.

"Kitty, I have to leave Dodge City. It's too dangerous for me to stay here. If word gets out that I"m vulnerable, enemies will be after me," Matt tried to explain.

"You have two deputies and a whole town full of people that would give anything to protect you. You owe it to them to let them try," Kitty argued.

"They'd give anything, including their lives," Matt pointed out. "And I won't let them. Kitty, I have to do things my way."

"Is that a fact?" Kitty asked, her voice saturated with sarcasm. "Where will ya go?"

"I don't know," Matt replied with a sigh. "I'll keep in touch."

Kitty watched Matt hook his satchel on his saddlehorn and ride off. She had no idea where he was going or if he would return. A couple of weeks after Matt's departure, Kitty did receive a telegram from him. It briefly said he was fine, nothing else.

It would be another couple of weeks before Matt returned to Dodge. Matt was gone for close to a month. Kitty was overwhelmed with joy when she saw Matt standing on the landing of the Long Branch. She couldn't believe her eyes. He was back.

Matt had been back in Dodge for three weeks. During that time, he was bound and determined to make his right arm useful again. Doc told him he needed to use it as much as possible. He needed to strengthen it back up. Kitty helped Matt. They worked together to help Matt's arm heal. The biggest thing Matt had to work on was gripping objects.

After Kitty checked to see if she had any mail, she was going to meet Matt at Delmonico's. They were going to have lunch together. They had been eating their meals in Kitty's room. Matt was not ready to eat in public when he returned to Dodge. He was a bit clumsy when it came to holding his eating utensils. But now Kitty had convinced Matt that he was ready to eat his meals in public.

"Ah, Miss Kitty," the postmaster greeted. "I have a piece of mail for you." He handed her the envelope.

"This is all I have?" she questioned as she accepted the envelope. "I thought I'd have more."

"Were you expecting something?" the postmaster asked.

"No," Kitty answered with a shake of her head. 'I just thought there'd be more. I haven't been here in over a week." The postmaster nodded understandingly.

Kitty walked out of the post office and examined the envelope more closely. It was postmarked Arizona Territory. More than likely it was some whiskey drummer who wanted her business. Kitty folded the envelope and placed it into her reticule. She would deal with it later.

That evening Kitty was alone in her room. She figured she might as well see what the envelope in her reticule contained. Walking over to her small bedside table, Kitty grabbed her letter opener and sliced open the top of the envelope. She pulled the contents, a few pieces of paper, out. She could see it was a letter, a longer one than a whiskey drummer wanting her business would write. Curiosity overpowering her, Kitty began to read the letter.

Dear Miss Russell,

I gave birth to Matt Dillon's baby. He is a father. I'm not sure if he told you the news or not. Matt did tell me that he told you all about his time with me. I stress the word ALL. Yes, we did share my bed, but it was only one time. Please believe me. It was only one time. I would have no reason to lie about that. His memory came back the next day and he returned to Dodge City, to you.

His memory came back and I was left with memories of him. That's what I thought, but he left me more than just memories. Our one night together resulted in conception. I conceived that night. When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and happy. Scared because I was pregnant and alone. Happy because I had more than just memories. I would have something physical to remember Dan (That's what I called him until I realized he was Matt Dillon.) by.

I was not going to contact him about my pregnancy. As Marshal of Dodge City, he had too many responsibilities. I wasn't going to add the responsibility of a child to that list. I would raise my baby on my own.

A month ago, out of the blue, Matt had returned. That was as unexpected as my pregnancy. When he returned, I was nearing the end of my pregnancy. I was heavily carrying his child. He immediately did the math and knew he was the father. Matt agreed to stay at least until I gave birth.

A week later my time came. After hours of grueling labor, I gave birth to our daughter. Matt wasn't in the room while I delivered. A wife of one of my Mexican farm hands helped with the birth. We named the baby Elizabeth Ann Yardner. I plan on calling her Beth.

Yes, her last name is Yardner. Matt stayed for two more weeks. With his injured arm, we felt it was best for him not to travel, especially since enemies could be after him. During that time we agreed it would be in the best interest and safety of both Beth and me, if we had no ties to Matt Dillon. He explained how dangerous it would be if anyone connected us to him. We made arrangements that both of us have agreed on.

Sincerely,

Mike Yardner

Present Time

Twenty-three years later, Kitty still had the letter. She even had the envelope it came in. Both the letter and the envelope were no longer crisp. Time and many reads had softened them. She would never forget reading the first two lines of that letter. At first she thought it was some cruel joke. But as she continued to read, she came to the conclusion that it wasn't a joke. Kitty wasn't sure what she was more upset over, that Matt was a father to a child that wasn't hers or that he never told her. Thinking about it, more than likely it was a combination of both.

Kitty could still remember the look on Matt's face when he came back to Dodge. There was something different about him, but she couldn't quite place it. He seemed at peace. It was as if something happened to change his attitude about his arm. At the time, Kitty wasn't going to question it. Matt was back and that was all that mattered.

Shortly after reading the letter for the first time, Kitty figured out where Matt had gone after he had been shot. He went to Arizona. He went to Mike Yardner. Kitty was livid. She wanted to confront Matt and make him explain, but she didn't. Kitty decided to let him give her the news.

But when the months passed by and Matt still hadn't said anything, Kitty felt as though Matt did not trust her. If Matt couldn't trust her, then there was no point in staying in Dodge. She would come up with an excuse to leave. That's exactly what she did.

Matt and Kitty did keep in contact for the first five years she was gone. They wrote letters to each other, but not one of Matt's letters gave any mention of his daughter. When Kitty came across the letter from Mike a few weeks ago, she decided it was time to confront Matt. After twenty-three years, she wanted an explanation.

TBC