"Lise, I've been an idiot, a complete, utter idiot, and the biggest mistake of my life was letting you walk out of it. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all of the heartache I've caused you. I'm sorry for not making you feel like the wonderful, amazing woman you are. I'm so sorry I haven't told you that you mean the world to me, that I love you more than anything, and I am absolutely miserable without you. I've taken you for granted, letting things just be comfortable between us, and that's not been fair. I have avoided any discussions of our future because I was content on our present, until I wasn't, when our present became you leaving and our relationship ending. I should have done more, much more. I should have put your first, above my stupid obsession to not change things or not do anything for you. You mean the world to me, and it's taken you leaving for me to see just how wrong I've been. Any relationship is give and take, and you've put up with a lot here with me, with the entire family, yet, you continued to love me, to love all of us. I've complained about change, and I've just settled into this life of comfort with you. I know I need to do much better. I know I need to do better for us, for our future. You deserve that. It's not fair to just continue on as things have been. You're right; I've avoided the 'where do we go from here' type of conversation because I didn't see anything wrong with how things were, and that is on me. You deserve better. I should have married you a long time ago, and I'm sorry about that. You've always wanted to get married, and it's not that I haven't, but I've just thought that we were fine how we were, with you being part of the family when you were in town. That's not fair. You deserve a future, the future you want, and I know you've revealed a lot of things here you felt you couldn't tell me. I'm sorry for that. I realize you didn't say a lot of this because why would you? When I won't talk about what our future looks like, why would you dive into the future you want? I get that. I am sorry, though, that you didn't feel you could share with me. I'm sorry about France. I'm sorry I didn't tell you in the moment how I was feeling, that I wasn't enjoying being dragged all over the country. I did enjoy being with you, and I'm not sure you know that. I always enjoy being with you. You are my world, and my world has been shattered since you left. Mallory set up that stupid profile trying to get me out of my misery, intent on me finding someone to move on with, and I don't want anyone else in my life but you. Mallory had good intentions and did a decent job with everything, only showing it to me when she'd finished. She told me to check my results, and the number one match was you, no kidding. I know you said Beth encouraged you to try this too, and there has to be something in this that we were each other's top match. I just hope you can try to understand and forgive me. I just want you. I want to have a future with you. You deserve the world, and I need to show you that and make you understand that I am trying. I can't promise that traveling to France is going to be on my list, but I am trying. I'm also rambling. I'm rambling because I have so many thoughts swirling through my head that I cannot get down fast enough. It was wrong of me to go about this in the way I did. Even Tim told me that, and no, this isn't something the entire family knows. Tim knows, but for once, he's been a solid sounding board. He's told me to fix things with you because he said that he sees it too; everyone does, that I love you so much. I never thought I'd love anyone as much as Lyndy. I never thought or expected to find anyone again, period, and then you came into my life. You surprised me in so many ways, mainly that I love you more than anyone I've loved in my life. That doesn't scare me, only a life without you does. I cannot stand the thought of the person I love more than anyone in my entire life not being part of my life. Even Tim sees it and told me he sees that I love you more than anything or anyone. Please, Lisa, I hope you won't be too mad at me. Yes, I was an idiot, but you have no idea how much I've enjoyed talking to you. I am sorry I deceived you. It wasn't fair for me to know you, but for you to think I was a complete stranger. I've loved our talks, and I've heard your voice throughout them. I want nothing more than for you to come home so we can work through this. You are my world, and I'm heartbroken without you. I can promise you there will be changes, and you will be valued and given the life you want. That should have been something done long ago, and I'm sorry it took all of this heartache for me to get my head on straight."
Jack paused then, letting out his breath. He hadn't realized he'd been holding it as he typed, but as he sat there and let out all of the stress and worry he'd been holding in, he just sighed, hoping to see some sign of life from Lisa. This could go so badly, but he wanted so desperately for the two of them to work things out, once and for all, forever, just them.
Nothing was said, and that was almost haunting. Jack sighed and typed more.
"You know me. Everything is always black and white, no gray area. What you see is what you get. I'm quiet, reserved, protective of those I love. People say I'm a man of mystery, but you know better. I'm just quiet except when with you. I've never been good at living in a gray area, and our relationship has been living in that gray area for some time. I'm sorry about that. I didn't realize it for so long, and when you pointed out that we've just been stagnant, I didn't want to address it. You're right. We have been. We didn't get married years ago for several reasons, mainly the timing was bad, but that doesn't mean it's never going to be right. I don't want you to slip away, Lise. I want you, and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to tell you that. I love you, and I want you."
He watched the screen for any sign of life. Nothing. The moments ticked by until those moments turned into minutes. He resisted saying more, even when he wanted ask if she was still there.
"Grandpa, I'm making tea," Lou knocked and called to him through the door.
"Ahh, no thanks, Lou," Jack called back, hoping she didn't hear the wavering sadness in his voice. Every second that ticked by seemed to be one second closer to this relationship ending. She hadn't responded. Nothing at all. Why had he done this? He was a grown man who wouldn't pick up the phone to call the person he loved most. He was a grown man who wouldn't go after her, who wouldn't get on a plane.
"I should have come after you. I should have called you," he typed, knowing she needed to know exactly what he was thinking and realizing right now. "What kind of grown man can't do that? What, I'm too scared to come after you, to call you? Lisa, I am so sorry. Obviously, I didn't go about any of this the right way, and I only hope that you can forgive me and we can get back on track."
Nothing again. No reply. Nothing.
Then, without a word or comment typed, Lisa's profile disappeared from the screen. She'd logged off, and Jack was left with a one-sided chat.