This takes place prior to the events of MW 2019

Dialogue written in 'italics' and spoken by Lara's father and sister are in Russian. Dialogue written in 'italic' and from Lara are internal thoughts, Russian and English. I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty of writing Russian dialogue because I am neither fluent enough to make sure I don't butcher it nor do I want you to have to gloss over reading it if you don't know how to read it. I do have a few translations that I will add here as they are very simple.

Milashka - term of endearment to a girl

Dochka - daughter

Xeni (or Xenia) - nickname of Ksenia

Ksenia will utilize the name of Lara Matthews unless otherwise noted. I also named Kate's wife, should have mentioned that in the first chapter as she technically remains unnamed in the series; Sarah was the first name that popped into my head that seemed to fit well with Kate. She is a lovely woman who wanted children but for many reasons she and Kate never had them, she dotes on Lara when she can and Lara being lonely just lives for it.

Chapter 2

The following days were agonizing, more so in the mental anguish than the bodily kind; the physical pain she could fight against but Lara couldn't be sure if this was the effects of the drugs still lingering in her system or whether the torture she had endured before she escaped broke her all over again. Either way it was bringing up memories best left forgotten and distorting them until they were near unrecognizable but still tore at her and made her weep as she hid herself under the thin sheets on the uncomfortable hospital bed.

At one point, Lara recognized and understood that she was experiencing a bout similar to psychosis but she couldn't find it in herself to tell the medical staff - it was best they didn't know and to brush off her quirks as the unknown drugs, which could likely be the cause anyway. She even went so far as to covertly communicate with the voices and images, listened to their advice because nothing they said was unreasonable; she answered their questions and asked her own. Her waking illusions were better than the violent ones she experienced in her sleep, even though they still hurt, they were never cruel; always comforting her and soothing the aches in her soul. In their own way, she wanted to believe that they were healing her; their voices whispered soothingly to her when terror and pain would wake her in the dead of night.

The pain she did experience the most of from them was the fact that her eyes could never fully focus on them - like their images blurred when she looked too hard at them, their silhouettes faded into the edge of the shadows - and the fact that she could feel bursts of warmth that she would never be able to reciprocate again. A firm hand on her shoulder or head, giving her an age-old familiar pat, or on rare occasions, the tiny arms that wrapped around her neck and shoulders with the warmth radiating down her back as if the child-sized figure was leaning against her for a hug - followed by the smell of sweet peas. Her heart would break all over again.

After a few days she was given permission to stand up and walk around without assistance, she begged for a shower - lucky for her that her room had its own full bathroom. The privacy granted lasted only for half an hour before the nursing staff was insistently knocking on the bathroom door to check on her. As much as she wanted to blast the water to ungodly temperatures, her body still protested, even though it grounded her and kept away thoughts that plagued her. Some wounds were also still wrapped with oversized tegaderm bandages and though it did its job of keeping the water out, it did nothing to stop the heat from radiating pain through her.

Kate returned a few days later and brought with her a change of real clothes and an attitude that bespoke of no more nonsense, but she at least explained the delay in her return, citing in her words: "nonsensical meetings to deal with the situation involving her - she who doesn't exist, even as a CIA agent - and that Kate justified it as an absolute covert operation that nearly no one had files on her as it was on a need-to-know basis and nearly no one needed to know."

Mostly, it just sounded like a bunch of hogwash Kate cooked up but it was hard to tell from how serious her expression was. Regardless, not her problem to deal with, Kate was doing just fine without her input.

With a hardened stare and no more words, Kate assessed her. Eyes roamed over her hair that was dull and unkempt, unevenly hanging around Lara's face from where it had been hacked at some time during her mad dash out of Russian-controlled territory, to the dark bags under her eyes and the hollowness of her cheeks, to the red marks on her arms from scratching too hard and the nails bitten to jagged edges. Kate's eyes took in everything and Lara refused to hide, she needed someone real to see her, and who better than her superior and her friend, the one person who helped Lara put her life back on track the last time it fell apart.

"Kate?" She sounded as drained and depleted as she felt, her throat tightened as she waited for the older woman to say something else.

"No more of this." Kate responded with gentle authority. "You hear me? No more. You're coming with me right now. Get up."

She doesn't move. "And go where?"

The voice of her father whispered, his image still sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed. 'You should listen to her.'

Kate, oblivious to the ghostly figure helping to encourage Lara, dropped the bag of clothes at the end of the bed, taking a moment to pull everything out - she set down a pair of nondescript pants, a grey t-shirt, undergarments and socks, and a pair of worn-in sneakers. She even thought ahead and dropped three small travel-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash into Lara's hands.

"Here, this will feel and smell better than what they've given you. Don't mind the shoes, I borrowed them from Sarah, since you share the same size. We'll get you fitted with your own stuff soon." Kate stated as she drew back the covers and tugged Lara out of bed with no resistance.

"Go shower. As soon as you've gotten yourself cleaned up, we're going home."

"Home." Voice quivering with weariness.

'Do as she says, Milashka.'

Lara silently collected the offered clothes and shuffled her way into the bathroom, she had even less time to clean than if it was the nursing staff coming in to check on her.

The weeks of recovering and relaxing were finally coming to an end, even though she was grateful to Kate and Sarah putting up with her - more so Sarah since she was always home while Kate worked long hours - she was starting to go stir crazy.

Lara had distracted herself with running and training daily once she received an 'all-clear' from an unnamed doctor-friend of Kate's who was instructed to keep everything related to Lara as off-the-books. She could only wonder what corners were being cut to keep her very presence a secret even within the Station Chief's own home. Either way, it was above her paygrade and she took her orders from Kate so if this is what she wants then so be it.

"You're practically going feral." Kate stood leaning against the door frame as she joked toward Lara before turning to Sarah, "You'd think she was a prisoner here the entire time." They watched as Lara threw all her standard-issue American clothes and basics on her borrowed bed in preparation for packing them.

Sarah chuckled, continuing the joke, "You might want to keep an eye on her, Kate. She might start biting people."

Lara rolled her eyes, a smirk played on her lips. "I'm not so far gone as to resort to biting and cannibalism."

Kate laughed, the sound echoing in the room. "Well, we wouldn't want you to go all primal on us. I take it you're ready to get back into the action?

Lara nodded, a mix of determination and restlessness in her expression. "It's about time. I need something to keep me sane, I'm not sure I could ever go back to a civilian lifestyle."

As Lara continued packing, she couldn't shake the feeling that the calm before the storm was slipping away. The world outside, with all its chaos and danger, called to her. It was her element, and she was ready to dive back into it.

Kate walked over and placed a hand on Lara's shoulder. "Just remember, we're here for you. If things get too overwhelming or if you need a break, don't hesitate to tell me. You're not alone in this."

Lara offered a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks, Kate. I know I can always count on you two." She sure as hell was not going to do that no matter how much she wanted to. She knew she couldn't keep doing this - relying on other people, caring for other people, it only leads to tragedy for everyone. For now… It was as good as an empty promise but she could pretend.

After finishing her packing, Lara shouldered her duffel bag, feeling the familiar weight of gear against her. It was a comforting burden, a reminder of her purpose. She glanced around the room, taking in the memories of the past few weeks.

A quick glance at the clock, which read 0512 in neon red, indicated that it was early by civilian standards but starting to get late by military standards. She needed to hurry up or she was going to be late. Well, as late as whenever Kate deemed was an appropriate time to show up since she was taking her.

"Okay. I think- I'm ready." Lara nodded to herself as she took a moment to look over the room and her bag, then turned to her hosts and she repeated softly, "I'm ready."

Sarah stepped into the room and enveloped her in a tight hug, rocking slightly side to side. Lara met Kate's eyes over Sarah's shoulder and shared a quick smile before the hug ended and Sarah stepped back to create some space between them. She was doing her best to remain emotionally unaffected by the farewell but Lara could see the dampness along the rim of her eyes. It was soothing to be able to affect someone this way again with merely a hug and a "goodbye," she hasn't experienced that in a long time.

Without further delay, Sarah left the two other women to their own devices. They head out and she stashed her gear and bag in the backseat of an unmarked SUV, Lara hopped in with Kate already behind the wheel, engine humming to life.

"Alright! Let's go." Lara nodded at Kate.

It was roughly 15 minutes into the ride when Kate brought the details up again. "I know you understand what is needed but I can't help but worry—"

Lara cut her off, "You don't think I can handle it?"

"It's not that I don't think you can't handle it. You may end up fighting against your countrymen. People you may have served with. Friends."

"They're not my friends. They're not my family. I will not hesitate to do what is needed of me. You know this, Kate. Please…" Lara didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. Especially not with Kate. This woman had brought her back from the deep end of desperation and despair, she couldn't show any weakness.

When they first met, Lara swore this woman was tougher than nails and would chew her up and spit her out but after so much time together, she turned out to be a worrywart and a mother hen who hid behind a mask. Same as her, only Kate did a better job at hiding from Lara than she could but Kate also had far more years of experience at it so Lara would accept her loss before it could actually be counted.

"Remember: stay with Alex. You do everything he tells you to. And I mean everything. You so much as look at something wrong and he gives the word that you are withdrawing, that's it. Am I clear?" Her tone brokered no negotiation.

"Crystal, ma'am."

Kate sighed, "Again with the 'ma'am' - how many times do I have to tell you to stop when it's just us?"

Lara chuckled, the easy banter was soothing. Ignoring the fact that Kate was essentially threatening to ground her should she fuck up.

"Anyways, smartass, under no circumstances do you reveal any details about yourself. Your entire file is redacted, the only ones who have any info on you are me, you and the President should he request it. You are Lara Matthews, from now on your call sign is Echo 3-2. Anything else, you either keep it to yourself or disclose only simple facts that cannot trace you back to Russia."

"Lara Matthews, call sign Echo 3-2. Report to Alex, call sign Echo 3-1, for briefing and drills. How is he at hand-to-hand combat? I'm sure I could take him."

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Kate groaned. "I'll never understand why Sarah dotes on you."

"Obviously, I'm her favorite kid," Lara joked, grinning widely.

"Pfft. If you weren't so old, we would have put you up for adoption."

"Sarah would never." Her voice carried an air of fake scandalization.

Kate spared her a glance and threw a smirk her way before looking back to the road, her voice smug, "That's what you think. I can be… very persuasive."

The thoughts that tone and phrasing brought up made Lara grimace. "That is either a euphemism or a threat."

Kate chuckled and didn't bother with expanding further on the topic as the SUV made a turn and dead ahead was the entrance to the base. She hummed thoughtfully for a moment then answered Lara's previous question, "Alex can hold his own but if you do decide to test that, let me know. I want front row seats."

Lara scowled, "Wow."

"You asked." She shrugged. The SUV slowed as it neared the gates, one soldier stood almost in front of them while a second stood in the doorway of the booth. "It's time to put our professional faces on, Echo."

"Yes, ma'am."

Lara felt like a new kid at a new school. More like a foreign exchange student but no one else knew that part. She itched to hunt down Kate, who abandoned her at the armory for her to discuss her obvious lack of military gear with the armorer, and beg her to take her home. People were trying to talk to her, who weren't the armorer or Alex - wherever the hell he was! From what Kate had explained, Alex was punctual to the T so the fact that he wasn't here within the first 5 minutes of her being here had alarm bells ringing in the back of her head. Willfully ignoring the soldier chatting away to her right, oblivious to the itch she had to shove her fist into his throat.

'Calm yourself, Dochka. No need to work yourself up.' Her father's baritone voice cut through the thoughts of internal panic and anger, his hand settled on her head and she dipped her head under the weight of it. 'Your friend does not seem the type to abandon you to the American wolves so easily. This Officer - Echo 3-1 - he will be here.'

As if summoned by her father's word, a voice shouted out to her as it entered the room. "Hey! Lara! There you are, I've been looking for you." Lara turned to her saving grace, the obvious change in her demeanor had the chattering soldier stutter out a couple more words before going silent.

"Alex?" Hoping she didn't sound desperate but she sure as hell hoped he was who she needed right now.

"Sorry I'm late. My debriefing went longer than expected."

"That's alright." It wasn't alright but she didn't need anyone to suspect otherwise. "I haven't had a chance to discuss getting fitted for my gear yet."

A sputtering had both of them turning to the soldier who was essentially at fault for keeping her away from the armorer - who had been watching the whole thing silently with bored eyes. Alex raised an eyebrow at the soldier, who now looked like he wanted to shrink into the floor. "Private, I believe you have some duties to attend to elsewhere."

The soldier nodded frantically, muttering apologies as he practically sprinted out of the armory, leaving Lara and Alex standing together, alone. Kate didn't say much about Alex other than he was a damn good operative, nothing at least that would indicate such a reaction from the younger soldier.

Turning back to Lara, Alex offered her a reassuring smile. "Let's get you sorted out with your gear. Follow me."

Lara fell into step behind Alex as he led her through the bustling armory, his presence a calming influence amidst the chaos around them. They stopped at a rack of uniforms and miscellaneous gear, where Alex began to select items for Lara.

"You'll need a standard-issue uniform for now," he explained, handing her a few sets of various camouflage fatigues. "We'll get you properly fitted later. In the meantime, this should do."

Lara nodded, accepting the uniform. Next, Alex handed her a tactical vest and a helmet.

"Standard gear for field operations," he continued, his tone businesslike yet tinged with concern. "Make sure everything fits properly and feels comfortable. You'll be wearing this for extended periods, so it's important that it doesn't impede your movements."

She shouldn't let him treat her like she was a newbie but it was probably easier for both of them this way. She knew her running and basic workouts were enough, and he was to get her back up to par after her multi-week hiatus and to make sure she was ready for the next mission. With her covering his six, if he wants to mold her into his idea of a CIA operative she'll let him because it would be no different than if the order came from Kate herself - in all likelihood it probably did, also considering his stellar track record it is probably in her best interest anyways.

Lara adjusted the straps on the vest and helmet, testing the fit as Alex watched on, offering occasional guidance. Once satisfied, she looked to him for approval.

"Looks good," he nodded in approval. They moved to the weapons rack, where Lara was presented with a standard-issue X16 pistol. "Remember," he said, his voice firm yet supportive, "your weapon is your lifeline out there. Treat it with respect and it'll keep you safe."

Lara nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Just Alex is fine. Do you have any other preferred weapons of choice?"

If they were going to be giving her goodies, she may as well take what she can get. "I need knives - throwing and combat, a pair of collapsible batons, retractable wires, and a sniper rifle. I'll take whatever else you think I'll need."

"Close combat experience, wires and also a sniper, huh? What was your specialty before this?" Alex questioned, his voice colored with interest.

A moment of dread shot through her. Her mind blanked. Kate told her what to say for these situations but what was it? A warm hand settled on her shoulder, her father was there again.

'Milashka, just tell him it's classified,' he advised.

"It's classified?" She parroted as a question but that didn't seem to bother Alex as he shrugged and moved on with ease, focusing back on the weapon selection.

"Bolt-action or semi-automatic?"

'Thank the bloody stars for my father hovering around and this man's discretion. Kate probably filled him in on at least some things about me, well on Lara Matthews.'

Falling back into what she knew best, Lara declared, "Bolt-action, of course. Extended 9 round mag, tactical suppressor, a scope - a variable zoom, if available but I'll take what I can get."

"Well I'll be… You're confident enough to not need one with a larger capacity?" Lara gave him a sharp nod, she sure as hell was confident. "Okay, let's put in the req for an AX-50 with your noted attachments, we'll add on a couple other things as we go - if you're alright with that?" Alex turned back to her, seeking her approval before continuing on towards the armorer.

Having overheard a part of their conversation on their approach, the man wordlessly handed them a clipboard with the requisition form attached and Alex began filling in a section before handing it off to her to finish. She completed her information followed by the gear she could think of, checking off a few more that she hadn't considered previously; others were standard and would come with the rest of the gear. A medkit was a must and with the nagging concern of her father in the background due to the nature of her last mishap, she requested two kits.

She handed over the form and after a shared nod between Alex and the armorer, Alex began to walk away and she stepped to follow at his right side.

"Let's get to it then. First, I need to know where you are physically. You're kinda small but that is probably something you use to your benefit."

She gave him a half-hearted glare. "I'm 5'5" - that's average."

"Mhm." He flashed her a grin. "You prefer close combat but your average height would work against you for reach and power. You have to be fast to make up for the differences."

"I am." Lara tugged on a strand of loose hair before tucking it behind her ear. "Though I wouldn't say I prefer close combat. I don't find it ideal as a sniper and as you've already said: my size works against me - especially when I'm up against a larger opponent. But I'm good at it."

Her words seem to surprise him as he chuckled bemusedly. "That's not in your file."

She gave him a hard look before glancing around at anything that wasn't his questioning eyes. She took stock of their surroundings, they passed numerous hallways and doors, and various military personnel - some who greeted them with nods, others who paid them no mind at all.

After a few moments too long, Lara finally muttered, "It's classified."

A lot of things would not be in that file and what is, is so heavily redacted that the pages overflow with black lines. Kate did a hell of a job creating her identity, something Lara had to study intensively; majority of it was easy enough because it drew from more truth than lies.

"Most of the interesting things are."

At least he didn't seem offended over her stilted attitude, it's not like she was trying to be mean. She was simply uncomfortable.

The sound of a girl's laughter made her heart skip a beat and her feet hesitate. By the way Alex was still talking, he didn't notice the momentary change in her demeanor. Good.

Lara glanced about, seemingly more casual than she felt, and found exactly who she was looking for. The girl was the exact image of Lara when she was that age, all knees and elbows with a chubby face framed by brown hair. The only difference was the girl's eyes were more green than brown and she had a splattering of freckles across her cheeks and nose.

She looked just as Lara could remember. She still wore her school uniform, a tad messy as she usually was before Lara would tuck in her shirt, brush her hair and wave her off to school. It felt like a hundred years had passed since those times when in reality it had only been about 6 years.

'Xeni?' The girl–Anya–called to her. 'Xeni? Sister?'

Lara forced herself to look away, her throat constricted. 'Not the time or place for this, later. I'll deal with this later.'

Lara hummed a non-response to a generic question from Alex, half-minding his words and half-trying to ignore her ghosts.

She was sure if she looked, her father would be manifested on the other side of Alex and studying, critiquing everything about him and soon to be spouting more nonsense, just like he did whenever she had been out in public and there were other people around.

They finally reached a door that Alex opened and beyond was a barrack-style room, most of the beds appeared to be unused as they laid bare and void of any coverings.

"As you can see, there are not many of us - frankly, just you and me at the moment." Alex ran a hand through his hair. "You know the drill, pick one and fall into it when you need to."

"Why is it so empty in here?" She set her bag, and newly acquired gear, on a bed three down from him. Not too far, not too close.

"Well, we don't fall in with the rest of the military and even though the space could arguably be put to use to house more soldiers, CIA operatives are afforded their own shared room away from the rest and it just happens that we are the only two currently assigned to this base."

Lara gave him a bemused look. In some ways it made sense but at the same time it didn't, maybe with the way she grew up in Communist Russia it was just engraved into her mind that nothing is wasted, including space and beds. As soldiers, they were not able to afford such luxuries as a private room to certain groups and specialists; not unless you were high enough up the ranks and well connected.

"I'm not going to complain, it's a luxury we won't be afforded anywhere else."

Alex headed back for the door, commenting over his shoulder, "Alright, get changed. We're behind on training. I'll be in the hall."

Once the door was closed, her father reappeared and made himself comfortable on the bed across from the one she chose, elbows propped on his knees as he steepled his hands. 'You should not trust him, Dochka. Anyone who has not proven themselves to you should be treated as an enemy.'

'But papa, what if Xeni likes him?' Anya skipped from around Lara and threw herself across their father's lap forcing him to move his arms. He ruffled her hair and she laughed.

"I don't." She muttered, glancing at the door worried that if she spoke any louder Alex would hear her talking to herself. "Go away, I have to get ready."

The silence made her glance back. They actually listened–technically, she listened–and left her in peace.

AN: Every time I read through this chapter, I kept adding in snippets, reviewing, replacing, rearranging, etc

Thoughts?