Major spoilers for the comic mini-series Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine and Wolverine: The Origin. 🌹

WOLVERINE AND SPIDER-MAN RPG ISEKAI EPISODE 20 : THE CHALLENGE OF KUNJĄ

Midday…

Spider-man and Nih were ready to depart.

"Alright, I guess we'll be back," said Spider-man fussing with his unfamiliar elvish clothing.

"We'll be here," said Boksee.

Leaving the rest of the party by the stone wall, the two elves headed out of the woods and off toward Isal Shanta.

Boksee managed to hold herself in until they were out of ear shot.

"Mmmmmmmm… by thunder!" she squeed. "Look how cute Petey-boy is in his little elf suit!"

"Shh shh! I know!" Wyn hissed back.

The two women giggled and squealed as they watched them from a distance.

"You gals are cold," said Wolverine. "Strip a man of his dignity then talk behind his back."

With a guilty look, they quieted down.

Wolverine gave them a side glance.

"I didn't say stop."

The party burst out laughing.

"Oh heavens," laughed Wyn. "Do you think he's actually upset about it?"

"Nah, he's done worse. So, we just shootin' the shit then?"

"If that means sitting around and waiting, then yes."

The three adventurers settled in around the old wall.

"I guess I can patch up my bag," said Boksee pulling it into her lap. "I know Spidey said he'd do it but I've got time. Do you think he'd like it if I patched up his piece as well? Maybe that will spare me of whatever revenge scheme he comes up with for us," she chuckled.

"Eh, a nice thought but better leave that to him," grunted Logan pulling out a book. "He's only got the one suit with him and heaven help ya' if you don't line up one of those black spider web things just right or whatever."

"Good point, that looks complicated."

"Hrm," said Logan thinking.

He grabbed over Peter's pack himself and pulled out the shirt to his spider suit.

"Are you taking a crack at it?"

"Nah, just lookin'."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be going through someone's stuff without asking," said Wyn.

The old mutant held up the shirt, the claw slashes hanging open in the air. He stuck his fingers through them trying to get a grasp of the damage.

"Do you remember doing that?" asked Boksee.

"Huh? 'Course I remember. I just thought he was someone else."

"Is that what happened with Wyn?"

Both Wolverine and Wyn looked up with awkward concern. They looked to each other, then both turned away.

"Yah," grumbled Logan. "I get things mixed up sometimes." Then he sighed. "Listen gals, I ain't the most put together guy. I won't beat around the bush. If you two don't wanna keep this thing up with us because of this I won't hold it against ya'," he said jaw droppingly casual.

Both women baulked at the sudden declaration.

"You must think we're a pretty lousy party if you think we'd drop you so fast," said Boksee.

"Ain't nothin' against ya'. I'll say the same thing to elf boy. You don't owe us anything."

"We're friends, and a party."

"Things like the other night happen…" said Wyn.

"No they don't," said Logan.

"It was bad circumstance. No one was at fault. We can move on."

Her last words were accompanied by a death glare of such intensity that Wolverine shrugged and dropped the subject.

"If you say so," he mumbled returning to his book. "Appreciated."

An uneasy silence settled between the three as they occupied themselves. Boksee mended her bag while the other two read.

"So…Wolvie," said Boksee daring to break the silence.

"Hrm?"

"So, what is your and Spidey's deal anyway? Do you two work together back home or what? Dad and his drinking buddies have been trying to figure you two out for weeks."

"Eh, sometimes. Not usually. Everyone in our business knows each other one way or another. Being roomies has been a whole new and horrifyin' experience, I'll tell you that much."

"So you're like acquaintances? Is that it? You wound up here together and decided to group up?"

"Somethin' like that."

"I feel like you're dodging around something."

"Would I do that?" he grinned reading his book.

A few peaceful minutes passed by before something caught Wolverine's nose.

His ear all but turned as he heard the faintest rustle behind him.

"AMBUSH!" he shouted.

The adventurers were on their feet, back-to-back, weapons drawn as heavy black spears were aimed at them from all angles.

Half a dozen men had surrounded them. They were each tall and muscular, much like the brawlers, but adorned in furs and leathers, heavy iron and horns. Their faces were covered by snarling wolf masks.

"Who are these jokers supposed to be?" growled Logan to Wyn.

"Barbarians."

One stepped forward and pushed up his wolf head to reveal his face. He looked about the same age physically as Wolverine, 40s-ish, and from the same general stock of Strana, his fair but leathered face marked with blue war paint."

"I am Kuonrat," he introduced. "Chief of Sverkier Kunją, the Black Spear Clan. Who are you?"

"We are the Far Marvels," said Wyn. "An adventuring party. We aren't looking for trouble."

"Unusual for a group of men to be sitting idle by Isal Shanta. Well, I think you're men," said the chief looking at Boksee. "You're not elvan at least."

"We have companions buying supplies. We're just waiting for them."

"What's it matter to you?" snarled Logan.

The lead intruder gave them all a scrutinizing look.

"So, an elf in the party," he concluded. He nodded and lowered his guard.

"We thought the elves might be recruiting local mercenaries. Thought we'd look into why."

"If they are we wouldn't know about it," said Wyn. "A passing pilgrimage did ask us to camp with them, but the meeting was coincidental. They were worried about reported barbarism."

"Haven't been making trouble have we?" asked Logan.

"Our clan hasn't skirmished with the elvan for twenty years," said the barbarian chief sheathing his spear to his back. His men relaxed. "But to an elf that is a day. The mere sight of us sends them clustering in fear."

He looked over their party again, then his focus snapped to Wolverine, his gaze shifting between his face, gear, and the shining metal claws erupting from his bare skin.

"And what are you supposed to be?"

"Name's Wolverine."

"Wolverine? Is that the world's smallest bear or the world's largest weasel?"

"I don't know. Which one will gut you faster?" he said aiming his claws at him.

The barbarians raised their weapons but their chief stayed them with a hand.

"And where did you get your hide Wolverine?" he asked referring to his fur lined vest. "The town armory?"

The barbarians snickered.

"Yep," said Logan.

They stopped.

"What's it to ya'?"

Scowling, the chief walked up to stare him down.

"Couldn't have gotten your clan to make you something to cover your backside?"

"Don't got one."

"You aren't walking around calling yourself a barbarian are you?"

"What if I am?"

"Just what I thought," scoffed the chief. "Another adventurer playing pretend. I've seen your type," he accosted. "You wear a costume and call yourself by a name you don't even know the meaning of. You are no barbarian."

"What are you talking about?" demanded Wyn. "He fits every criteria listed under the base barbarian class to a tee."

"And who decided the criteria? Not us! Not the barbarians. Domestic dogs with quill and parchment scribbling down their idea of a wolf. A bad temper and the local armory's one hide vest does not a barbarian make."

"And what does a barbarian make?" asked Wolverine amused.

"A clan, for starters. What is a wolf without a pack? Or is that what this is about?" said the chief barbarian looking at Wyn and Boksee.

"What?" demanded Boksee.

Wolverine's smile dropped off his face.

The massive intruder turned back to him.

"Hoping to wife these two? They seem a bit beyond your measure. I will give you this feat though, as short as you are, you somehow found a mouth for both your heads."

Wolverine lunged at him. In a flying tackle both men were suddenly on the ground. The rest of the barbarians attacked. Mace and shield were thrown up as Wyn fended them off. Boksee leapt up a tree and moved to loose an arrow.

Wolverine and the larger barbarian were rolling around fighting for dominance. Punches and throttles were thrown back and forth. After a turn getting pulverized into the dirt, Wolverine managed to flip his way back on top and land a sucker punch right to the barbarian's nose. There was a loud crack as blood shot into the air.

The chief burst out laughing.

"What‽ What are you laughin' about!" snapped Wolverine.

"HA! Maybe you ARE a barbarian! What fight, what power in such a small package! Men, stand down."

The barbarians pulled their spears and stepped back.

Wolverine and the chief separated and both stood, the latter's nose clearly broken, twisted sideways. Unflinching, he reached up both hands and snapped it back into place.

"Yerrgh!" gagged Boksee.

"I'll make you an offer," he said to Logan. "You can join our clan. Show me little 'barbarian' that you truly deserve the name. Come with me and complete the Challenge of Kunją. Succeed and you will become a member of our clan. Then you may wear your hide with honor."

"What?" said Wyn dropping her guard. "Why by the divine would he-"

"Deal," said Logan.

"What‽" both women exclaimed.

"What?"

"Just like that?" demanded Boksee hopping out of her tree. "Do you even know what that is?"

"I'm bettin' it's some sort of gauntlet or somethin'."

"Yes, a great challenge of both body and spirit where you will earn your name with the clan," answered the chief.

"Sure, gauntlet spirit quest," agreed Logan. "Whatever. After the few days I've had I could use some senseless violence. Kid ain't here so I can go have some fun."

"That's your idea of fun?" asked Wyn.

"Showin' up some judgmental pricks? Nothin' more fun."

"What if you have to go burn down a village or something?" argued Boksee.

"No innocents will be harmed, I can assure you," said the chief.

"See?" said Logan. "So how long's this gonna take?"

"If you succeed you will be my clansman by nightfall."

"Swell."

"The Challenge of Kunją requires companions. Are these two worthy?" said the barbarian looking to Wyn and Boksee.

"Abso-fuckin-lutely. You gals wanna come?"

"Well, I suppose I'm always up for a good scrap," said Boksee. "Besides, I've got my own honor to defend. Wifed or not, I don't appreciate the implication I'm only good on my knees," she said giving the chief a look.

"Divine help us," muttered Wyn massaging a temple.

"You in tuts?" asked Wolverine.

"Is this my lot in life now? Chaperoning your bad decisions?"

"Join the line behind Webhead. At least here. Back home there's probably a line of twenty," he grinned.

"You've never participated in a barbarian challenge before, right?," shrugged Boksee. "Good experience."

The paladin raised an eyebrow. Then she sighed.

"Oh very well."

"Send word to my father," said Kuonrat turning to his men. "Tell him I am conducting a Challenge of Kunją."

They nodded.

Then the chief added something in a language none of the adventurers understood.

"Hey! If you got somethin' to say, say it so we can all hear," demanded Wolverine.

The chief gave him a look.

"And make sure the village knows the challenger is very short," he repeated to his men in common. He gave Logan a leer as the barbarians snickered.

"Hrm, appreciated. Don't wanna spend the whole time explainin' myself after I beat this thing in record time."

The chief gave him a look.

The rest of the barbarians took off back into the woods leaving only their chief with the three adventurers.

"Come then, we begin the challenge immediately," he declared.

"Wait," said Wyn to her party. "Spider-man and Nih won't know where we've gone."

"Huh, oh, yah, give me some paper. I'll leave a note," replied Logan.

After scrawling out a message with a stick of charcoal, he stabbed it onto a tree branch.

"There. Let's roll."

"Make yourself battle ready," said Kuonrat. "The first leg of the challenge is not for the weak of body."

"Just what I want to hear. Lead the way Cujo."

"Kuonrat."

"I know what I said."

The barbarian chief led them through the forest.

"So, what's first?" grinned Wolverine.

"First we must acquire the blood of the primordial carnivore."

"A'ight."

"It is a sacred fluid that will be required for the rest of the challenge," Kuonrat explained despite Wolverine's immediate acceptance. "To obtain it you will brave the ancestral tomb. It is a brutal dungeon that will test your skill as a warrior, your mettle, and the loyalty of your companions."

"You gals sure you don't wanna do the challenge with me instead of riding shot gun?"

"We're not the ones claiming to be barbarians," smiled Boksee. "This can be your spirit quest gauntlet. It's fine," she chuckled.

"I only called myself a barbarian 'cause you all said I was."

"Because you clearly are," said Wyn.

"They are needed as your companions," said Kuonrat. "One challenger at a time."

Eventually the party was led into a clearing. Deep in the forest, beneath the twisting branches of the most ancient of trees, massive black rune stones were erected in a ring.

"We're here," said Kuonrat.

"Great. Where's the dungeon?" asked Wolverine.

The barbarian didn't respond.

Wolverine gave him a scowl, then he huffed and trudged forward anyway, heading into the rune circle. Wyn and Boksee moved to follow but the chief put up a hand.

Stepping between the pillars of black stone, a slight shiver sent the mutant's hair on edge. He looked around the jagged carvings but didn't see anything. He gave the air a sniff but nothing was off. He turned back around to see the rest of the party and Kuonrat watching him.

"Ohh…" he thought.

This was part of the challenge, a puzzle or something. Great.

He looked around at the runes. Their writing meant nothing to him. Nothing was giving him a clue of what he was supposed to do.

He turned and gave the barbarian a scowl, then a smell caught his nose.

Twisting around once again, he spotted a pair of golden eyes staring back at him from across the clearing.

Kuonrat's eyebrows raised.

The party watched as a lone wolf calmly stepped out of the underbrush and into the open. Logan recognized it. It was one of the wolves he had camped with the other night.

As the large canine fearlessly trotted into the rune circle, the mutant took a knee.

"Hey pal," he said putting a hand to its nape. "You a part of this?"

The full pack emerged. As if they had been expertly trained, the wild animals trotted in circles around the stone pillars. Their carved writing lit. Wolverine and his wolf moved as the ground rumbled and separated beneath their feet. At the center of the rune circle, an ancient stairway was revealed.

"Congratulations," said Kuonrat. "You have passed the first leg of the challenge."

"You just needed me to get some wolves?" asked Wolverine unimpressed. "You could'a asked." He gave the wolf a pat as it trotted off to rejoin the others and head back into the woods.

"A barbarian has an inborn inclination with his fellow beasts," explained the chief. "The runes send out a call for a beast to vouch for you. Only if one answers will the dungeon open."

"Alright."

Finally the rest of his party was allowed to enter. Wyn pulled her shield and mace. Boksee lit a torch and claimed her falchion.

The chieftain joined them, pulling his spear.

"You comin' with us?" asked Logan.

"Of course. How could I ever claim you as a clansman if we have not shed blood together?"

"He's probably coming along to grade you through the whole thing," said Wyn.

The chief gave her a little smirk.

The party looked down into the cave like entrance, the ancient stairs breathing up a cold, musty stench.

With no further words exchanged, Wolverine ejected his claws.

Stairs might have been a generous assessment. The ancient entrance of the tomb was more like a dirt tunnel with a few uneven slabs of stone for show.

"Nice place," grunted Logan ducking under a hanging root.

"This dungeon and these runes have stood before the ancient empire rose from the dirt," said Kuonrat. "They have surpassed it as well."

"Hey you're not tricking us down into a hole to lock us in and kill us, right?" asked Boksee.

"If he were, we would deserve it," said Wyn. "What sorts of enemies will we be dealing with?"

Kuonrat didn't answer.

"What sort do you think we'll run into?" Wolverine asked her instead.

"Well, considering this is a tomb, likely undead."

"Smells like it."

They entered the first chamber.

It was a catacomb. The stone walls were lined with bones, hundreds of skeleton's worth of remains layered and stacked together like cobblestone.

Wordlessly, the chieftain borrowed the torch from Boksee and placed it in a carved groove. A trough of oil ignited, running a fire down the entire length of the chamber and beyond.

As soon as the dull orange light touched them, the bones started shuttering. Shadows clattered and shifted as the aged skeletons began to pull themselves free, collect themselves together and start toward them.

"Well, you called that," said Wolverine.

"Blades are not the most efficient weapon against skeletons," said Wyn quickly as the entire chamber began to fill with the shambling horde. "They're more vulnerable to bludgeoning damage."

"Got it."

The mutant sheathed his claws, and with a shout, fearlessly charged right into a skeleton. It was thrown off its feet as he rammed it with a shoulder, bones going flying.

"Ha ha!" shouted Kuonrat.

"Well come on then paladin! Let's not let Jimmy have all the fun!" exclaimed Boksee.

"What did you just call me‽" Logan shouted from somewhere in the skeletons.

The ranger laughed as she pulled her axe and plowed forward.

Wyn gave them both a look, then she smirked.

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Mace and shield in hand, she ran in.

The skeletons were armed. Half were pulling ancient spears, clubs, and even swords from the walls, though they weren't the greatest at using them. Wolverine, surrounded on all sides, caught a skeleton by a boney wrist as it took a stab at him. He spun on a heel and slammed it into another. Two more were at his back. He threw himself backwards smashing them against a wall. Three more lunged at him from the front.

Suddenly half a dozen skeletons exploded into shrapnel. Wolverine did a double take as Wyn, one arm up to shield her, threw her massive mace and reduced another five to dust.

"Holy!" he exclaimed.

"Indeed. Blessed weaponry remember?" she smirked. "Especially effective against undead," she grunted forcing back the writhing throng with her shield alone.

"My tin-plated angel."

"Much easier to fight a horde of skeletons when you're not in a dress!" shouted Boksee with a laugh. She slugged a skeleton with her axe then stole its club. Kuonrat was doing nothing but defending himself.

The three adventurers cleared the skeleton mass quickly. Keeping up the momentum, they forced their way through the piles of broken remains and barreled into the next chamber.

Again, the walls shifted. This time a dozen leathery armored undead stepped forward. They were wielding shields, war hammers, great swords, and axes. Unlike the swarm of skeletons, they held their weapons with skill.

"Draugr warriors," said Wyn. "No bludgeoning. Dismember these."

"Sounds more my speed," growled Logan.

Re-ejecting his claws, he went barreling in. Dodging under the swing of a war hammer, Wolverine plunged his blades right through its armor and into its ancient flesh. With a yank he sent them up through its body slicing it to ribbons.

The rest of the party quickly joined the fight. Boksee decided to hang close to Wyn this time, acting as another set of arms as she shielded them both. As the paladin threw up her shield to block an axe from above, the ranger lunged to take out her attacker's leg, giving Wyn the time to pull her sword and round on another draugr, cleaving her blade through its neck and sending its head flying.

Wolverine was dodging and eviscerating draugr left and right, the ancient warriors standing no chance against the mutant's adamantium claws. Spotting the last two enemies, he lunged only for a massive black spear to plunge through the two of them at once. They were wrenched from the ground and flung to the other side of the room as Kuonrat stepped forward and gave him a smug grin.

"Hey! Who's gauntlet is this?"

Another room cleared, the flaming oil trough still providing all the light they needed, the team took a second to breathe.

"Everyone good?" asked Wolverine.

"Yep," answered Boksee for all of them. She wiped some sweaty corpse dust from her forehead.

With a nod, they continued forward and entered the next chamber.

It was a long stone hall. With the exception of the landing, the room's entire floor was completely taken up by a pool, its black liquid shimmering in the light of their fire.

"Hrm," grunted Logan.

Dropping to his haunches, he gave it a sniff.

"Whoof, yah, that ain't water. Anyone got another torch or a stick or somethin'? Somethin' wood."

Wyn handed him a broken spear.

Lowering it into the pool, he and the party watched as it began to hiss and foam. He sunk the spear about two feet before hitting bottom.

"Hrm."

They looked around and saw that the walls and ceiling of this chamber were smooth, smoother than any other room. There were no ledges to step onto or grab, and the chamber was far far too long to have any hope of jumping across. The archway leading to the next area was on the far side.

"Oh great. Another puzzle," said Wolverine.

"What was the first puzzle?" asked Boksee.

"There's the oil trough," said Wyn pointing to technically the only ledge in the room. "Maybe we can use that to scale across."

"That's currently on fire paladin."

"Maybe there's a way to drain the room?" said Wyn thinking. "Oh, or if we find a way to extinguish the fire..."

"If web head was here he could just give us a ride," sassed Boksee.

"Well, that clenches it then," said Logan. "Can't have the idea of that idiot showin' me up floatin' around…" he paused in thought. "And I was never really one for puzzles."

He took off his boots and hopped out of his hide leggings.

"Hold these," he said handing them to Boksee.

"Why, what are you…"

Wolverine fearlessly stepped into the acid pool.

"AH!" both women screamed.

It started fizzing around him.

"OOH!" he howled. "AGH! Yep. GRRR. That smarts. Who's first?" he strained.

"For what‽"

"A ride! C'mon, this hurts! Tuts, you're heavier," he said making a grab at her. "I'll get you first-"

"Don't touch me!" she snapped recoiling.

He startled back.

"Apologies," said the silver rank quickly recomposing herself. "No thank you."

"FINE! I DON'T CARE! Someone get on my back already!"

He was practically barking, teeth snarled and neck veins bulging.

With a fright, Boksee obeyed and leapt onto him, arms landing around his shoulders. He grabbed her under the thighs and took off sprinting, splashing and kerplunking through the knee-high acid hazard.

Wolverine and Boksee didn't see it, but the barbarian chief was looking particularly pleased. He turned to Wyn.

"So, what will you do?"

She scowled, thinking and looking around. Then she had an idea.

Running back to the previous chamber, she returned with a pair of axes. Hooking their heads into the flaming trough groove, she used them like hooks and started scaling across the long chamber wall.

Kuonrat nodded. Then he pulled off his own lower clothing and stepped into the acid.

Wolverine was still stomping through the pool, fizzing black liquid leaping and splashing up around him. Boksee let out a scream.

"Darlin'! What-‽"

"-Fine! Keep going!"

Finally reaching the other side, Wolverine hopped out of the pool with a slap, stomping and jerking the way one does when they've burned themselves. Boksee quickly hopped off.

"Are you ok‽" she exclaimed.

He made some noise of pained agreement.

"You're crazier than I thought! I got splashed! That felt like boiling oil!"

"Nnnrghh!"

Through the dizzying adrenaline, Wolverine looked at his legs to assess the damage. To his surprise they were completely normal. Had he healed that quickly? He hadn't felt it. His hair wasn't even burnt off.

"Darlin' you…?"

"Clear," she said just as surprised. "I don't see any burns," she said looking herself over.

Kuonrat, his face deathly serious, calmly stepped out of the acid behind them.

"If you're confused, this concoction leaves no damage," he said, his muscles rigid as he straight faced the pain. "I wouldn't have any legs left if it did," he gloated to Wolverine. "I've conducted this challenge dozens of times."

"Yah yah. It ain't as impressive as you think. Bet your first time wasn't so calm," he snarked as he put his pants back on.

"Oh! Smart thinking silver!" said Boksee noticing Wyn ice picking her way across the chamber.

The paladin hopped from the wall to join them.

"I should have thought of that."

"Well, maybe if we had thought it over for more than a minute," Wyn snarked at Wolverine.

"What? My way worked."

"It only worked because you're insane."

He shrugged.

"The barbarian knows sometimes there is no answer without pain," said Kuonrat. "In much of life one can only grit their teeth and plow through undeterred."

"So, does that mean Wolvie did it right then?" asked Boksee. "Meaning Ms. Paladin did it wrong?"

"It's not a matter of right or wrong. How one confronts the obstacles in their life reveals much about them."

"Oh…" said Boksee thinking. "Wait, does that mean I did it wrong then?"

"Didn't you just hear? There is no wrong way," said Wyn.

"Oh there are definitely wrong ways," chuckled the chief. "No one here did it though."

"Well now I'm curious," said Logan.

The party continued.

Entering the next chamber, Wyn rammed through her team, flinging herself to the front, shield raised as a volley of arrows rained down on them.

The room was ringed with a high ledge of undead archers. On the ground, columns and hidden shadows provided additional cover.

Kuonrat had pulled his own wooden shield.

"By thunder! That could've been bad!" exclaimed Boksee.

Ducking around Wyn's armored leg, she pulled her own bow and loosed an arrow. It landed directly in a draugr's mouth, skewering it, but it didn't seem to care. It reloaded and aimed.

"No good," she shouted leaping back as an arrow ricochetted off the stone floor.

More archers stepped out from between the columns.

"Well we can't just sit here!" barked Wyn.

"Tuts I need a lift!" shouted Logan.

Understanding, Wyn and Boksee dropped to their knees. The paladin lodged one end of her enormous shield to the ground and held it over top of them. Using it like a ramp, Wolverine ran up it and took a flying leap. An arrow plunged into his arm midair but the pain only propelled him forward. He landed on the ledge cleaving an archer in two, and from there it was child's play. He slashed and shouldered the rest of the undead from their posts. Boksee and Wyn were freed.

They leapt into action, dismembering any archer who was unlucky enough to still be intact by the time they hit the ground.

A draugr stepped out from behind a column and aimed at Boksee. She dashed forward slashing her blade through its thigh and ramming it. Mid draw, its arrow flung clumsily from its bow.

Kuonrat was again doing nothing but defending himself. He was turned the other way so didn't notice the dud arrow as it bounced off the wall and whacked him on the back of the head.

"Gargh!" he barked whipping around.

"Ha!" exclaimed Boksee. "Serves you right for the fellatio jab barbarian!"

The chief laughed.

"I like your spirit small one," he said casually punching off an undead. "If you're still looking to be wifed, I've got a nephew who could use a firm whip to his back."

"Look alive!" demanded Wyn.

The archers defeated, a hundred rows of rib bones were suddenly sliding around them in all corners of the room.

"Bone naga!" shouted Wyn. "Watch the head!"

"It'll be there!" shouted Boksee pointing at a random corner. She recognized the anatomy of the skeleton.

"I see it!" answered Logan.

Just as the massive skeletal snake launched from the darkness, Wolverine leapt from his ledge. He threw his blades through its neck vertebrae sending the fanged skull flying. It smashed into the floor, unhinged jaw shooting off, and was shattered to shards by Wyn's mace. The rest of its bones fell to the floor with a clatter.

Wolverine landed in a roll and was back on his feet.

He gave his party a smile.

"Oooh," both women hissed. With a moment to breathe, Boksee pointed at the arrow in his arm.

"Yah. That's gonna hurt," said Wolverine looking at it. "Someone wanna get this for me?"

"Here," said Wyn stepping up. Holstering her mace, she latched her metal gauntlets around the wooden shaft.

Without question, without a countdown, before the mutant even had the chance to look away, she yanked it from his meaty arm with a wet spirt.

"GAGH!"

"You good?"

"Fuck! Appreciate the bedside manner ya' hard ass!"

"What? My way worked," she teased waving the arrow at him.

He pushed it out of his face.

"Oh har har."

Boksee laughed only to get an adamantium filled bonk on the head.

"Ow! What did I do?"

It was Wolverine's turn to give a few husky, sharp tooth chuckles.

"It's not like you didn't do worse to yourself four minutes ago."

"Yah but that was my own bad decisions."

Recollecting themselves, the three Far Marvels moved to enter the next chamber. There was a problem. There wasn't an exit. Instead, a massive stone sarcophagus, carved with runes stood at the center of the far wall.

Weapons were clutched tightly as a bad feeling fell over the group.

Stepping toward it, the runes lit in a ghostly indigo.

In a blast of chilled air, the fire trough was extinguished and every wall, ledge, and column lit in hundreds of the same glowing runes. The heavy stone lid of the sarcophagus slid open.

Out stepped another draugr, this one paling all others under the breadth of its scale. It was massive, a figure adorned in full plated barbarian armor. A horned helm sat upon its undead skull, its sockets blazing. In its hands glowed a pair of four-foot-long cleavers, marked in the same phantasmal runes.

The door behind them slammed shut.

"Slice or punch?" barked Wolverine.

"Slice!" said Wyn. "Find an opening! We'll cover you."

Throwing its throat to the sky, the draugr let out a roar. A storm of sand exploded out of it, swirling and whipping around the room, indigo lightening crackling against the stone floor.

The armored combatant lunged at Wolverine, both massive cleavers crashing down on him. The mutant threw up his claws, metal meeting adamantium in a scattering of lightening. Sand was whipping against him, scouring his skin and burning his eyes. With a shout he forced the blades off and threw himself in a rolling dodge.

Cleavers swinging, it rounded to follow him but was slammed by a mace to the ribs. The draugr was forced sideways but the attack did little damage. Boksee went low throwing her falchion at its shin. In a loud scrape the blade sparked against its armor. The halfling let out a scream and jumped back as lightening leapt from the floor. Wyn threw up her shield as a cleaver came down on her.

With a shout, Wolverine was back in the fight. He took a running leap, plunging all six claws into their foe's heavily armored back and piercing to flesh. The undead was flailing, cleavers swinging and feet stumbling from the sudden shifting weight. The mutant was clinging to it, slashing and stabbing at anything he could reach.

Spotting an opening, Wyn charged beneath a glowing blade and rammed the undead with her shield, their combined force knocking it off its feet. Before its back had hit the ground, Boksee was throwing her axe through one of its ankles, an exposed inch of flesh giving her enough of an opening to hack off its foot.

Wolverine rolled to escape being crushed by the thing as it hit the ground. He sprung to his feet, slicing off a leather-bound hand as he went and snatched one of the draugr's massive cleavers. Claiming it for his own, he threw the four feet of ancient metal over his shoulders and brought it crashing down with the force of a falling guillotine. The blade shattered!

Shielding their faces from the shrapnel, Wyn and Boksee watched the horned head of the goliath roll to the other side of the room.

And just like that, it was over. The runes went dark and the fire trough inexplicably relit. The chamber, now carpeted under a layer of sand, was filled by the familiar orange glow.

"I think that went pretty well," said Wolverine

Kuonrat stepped ahead of them to look at the shattered cleaver and downed opponent.

"So, what's next Cujo?"

The barbarian whipped around and plunged his spear at Wolverine's chest.

With a start, he spun in a dodge. One hand grabbed the spear's shaft, forcing it down, while a set of claws landed against the chief's throat. He snarled as they were brought face to face, the barbarian only alive because Wolverine had stayed his hand.

Kuonrat smiled.

Staring him in the eye, he slowly lowered his chin and purposely drew blood on Wolverine's claws.

"Ach!"

Pain shot through the mutant's arm. The chief threw himself backwards to avoid decapitation as Wolverine jolted and looked down to see a gash in his bicep. It was right where the arrow had pierced him and since already healed. Kuonrat held up his second hand, showing off a bloodied dagger.

Logan snorted at him.

"Well done," grinned the barbarian wiping off his small blade and stuffing it into its sheath. "You and your companions have passed the dungeon."

"Aw, so soon? And here I was just gettin' started," said Logan wiping the blood from his elbow.

The chief sheathed his spear to his back and went to find the giant draugr's head. Picking it up, he gave it a bow. Then he removed the helmet and placed the leathery skull on top of its resting place.

The back of the stone sarcophagus dropped open to reveal the final chamber.

Following Kuonrat's lead, the party sheathed their weapons and entered the victory hall. It was small, the only thing of note in the ancient cave-like room being a lone statue.

"What is that?" asked Boksee.

The stone statue depicted an animal none of them had ever seen before, and yet, it was eerily familiar. All at once it could have been a wolf, a cat, a fox, a weasel, a bear, or even an extinct animal like a hoofed predator or the most ancient of cetaceans.

"That is the primordial carnivore," explained Kuonrat pulling the helm he had taken.

"When time was begun all was one for the words to distinguish were not yet created. It was only when the first name was given that separateness came into being. The primordial carnivore, the being before the predators were given their names, is the guiding spirit of the barbarian. Just as we began to name the world around us, dividing the trees from the rivers, it began to name us."

Bowing and chanting, he held the horned helmet up under the statue's mouth. A thick, ruddy liquid spilled from the primordial's toothy maw and into his waiting hands.

He turned to Wolverine.

"If you are successful, it will name you."

"Wolverine, you have done well. A beast has vouched for you, you have demonstrated your prowess as a warrior, and your companions have proven they were well chosen."

They were stood in the clearing by the runes. One of Kuonrat's men had returned with an armful of tableware and bottles.

"Thank you Unnúlfr," said Kuonrat taking them. The barbarian nodded and took his leave back into the woods.

"Now your true test begins."

The chief sat and organized his stuff around him.

"The barbarian is not defined by himself," he continued. "But by his bond with his clan, his kunją. Kunją comes to us with many faces. It may be friends, lovers, family, companions, brothers, and countrymen."

"Can a sister not be a kunją?" asked Boksee.

"I think that's under family," said Wyn.

"Sisters are brothers," answered the chief.

All three adventurers made a face.

Wyn leaned over to Boksee and held a hand to the side of her mouth.

"I think we have different understandings of those words," she said without the hint of a whisper.

"Yah, I think he was looking for the word 'sibling'," agreed the ranger.

"Are siblings not just a part of family?"

"Wolverine," interrupted the chief. "For your challenge, the companions you have chosen will serve as your guides."

Along with two small cups, he placed a bowl before himself, then took the draugr's horned helm.

"The blood of the primordial carnivore," he said pouring its thick red liquid into the bowl.

"We're not supposed to drink that are we?" asked Wyn.

"Is it real blood, or is this another sister-brother thing?" asked Boksee.

The chief gave them a look but kept going.

"Bark of yew, mistletoe, suicide's delight," he said dripping and sprinkling in ingredients.

"Are you just gonna have us trip balls?" asked Logan.

"Wolverine, you and a companion get on your knees and face each other. Who will go first?"

The women looked to each other.

"I will," said Boksee.

Wolverine and Boksee had assumed their positions.

"When a child of a clan comes of age, or in your case, an outsider accepts the challenge to join a clan, he will travel into himself to find his three totems," explained Kuonrat now standing over them. "If his three totems are worthy of that of a barbarian, he will be granted an audience with the primordial carnivore. There he will be judged if he is worthy of a name."

"And what's a totem?" asked Wolverine. "What's a totem to you people I mean. I think I've seen half a dozen ideas of what totems are back home."

"A totem is a spirit, embodied by an animal. They are the companions of our souls, the counterparts to the essential parts of our beings. Throughout our lives, though they come to us in new souls and with new faces, without fail these same totems find us again and again, for without them we are not complete."

"Do we all have totems?" asked Boksee. "Or is it just barbarians?"

"Barbarians are unique in that our totems always come to us in their true forms, as animals, as well as in the souls of the people we meet. That is how we learned of the totems. My ancestors saw and realized that the beasts and the men of their lives were one and the same. A barbarian will meet his totems in the flesh, but every soul has them."

"So we have totems too?" asked Boksee motioning to herself and Wyn.

"Yes."

He dipped a cup into the 'blood' and handed it to Boksee.

"Totems may come to us as friends, enemies, companions, brothers, family, and even in their animal flesh. They may surround us as an army or walk beside us as a single lonesome vessel."

He dipped another cup and turned to Wolverine.

"This will take you back, back to the very beginning, back to the very first time each totem found you, to memories you yourself may have forgotten," he said handing it to him.

"If it can do all that I'll ask for the recipe," he sassed taking it.

"Your companions will play the parts," continued Kuonrat unphased. "They will present themselves to you in animal form. Find them within yourself to reveal your totems."

"What do I need to do?" asked Boksee apprehensively.

"Simply play the part. It is Wolverine who decides what part that will be."

The mutant and the half-halfling, sat on their knees and facing each other, both held a cup. Wolverine gave it a sniff and scowled.

"Now, drink together."

"Claws, are you sure this is a good idea?" interrupted Wyn. "You've only just now got your right mind back about you. I don't know what tripping balls means, but I know that mistletoe and suicide's delight are not plants one should usually be drinking."

"Relax tuts. I slept it all off. Besides, I burn through everything fast. Worry more about little darlin'."

Boksee made a face at him before they both huffed a chuckle.

Wyn wasn't chuckling. She pulled her shield.

Maintaining eye contact, the mutant and the half-halfling watched each other lift their drinks.

"Find her within yourself Wolverine," instructed Kuonrat. "Remember her the first time you met."

Tipping his cup, the thick acrid liquid spilled into Logan's mouth and slithered its way down his throat. His brow scrunched but he kept going, keeping his focus on his teammate's face, watching those big cinnamon eyes as they looked back into his. As the last pungent drop slipped over his lips, an explosion of electric tingling scattered across his body.

He gasped!

His vision completely blotted out and he was plunged backwards, backwards through a sea of memories zipping by so fast he couldn't even see them. Suddenly he jolted to a violent stop.

He was back in his tank, back in the lab with the respirator strangled around his mouth!

Adrenaline and terror shot through him as he flailed.

"No… further!" commanded a voice.

Before he could scream, Wolverine was plunged backwards again, images of a dozen lifetimes spiraling past.

Finally, he felt himself float to a stop. As his vision cleared, he found himself standing. He was within the winding walls of a foggy hedge maze.

The old mutant startled back, eyes going wide and hair standing on end.

"Holy fuck. No way, there ain't no fuckin' way," he said whipping his head around.

It was ghostly and dreary, but it was the same place he knew. Did he know this place? Wait, did he actually remember? How…?

He watched as orange roses vined and blossomed across the dull foliage walls, the whites of his eyes somehow growing wider.

"This ain't funny," he managed to gasp.

This was no drug trip. This was legit. Shit. He should've guessed with all the magical bullshit that goes on here. He might have bitten off more than he could chew.

He took a breath.

No. It was fine. This was fine. Just get it done. What was he supposed to do here? Right, find Boksee. Boksee was in here too somewhere.

He sniffed at the air but it was completely sterile.

He looked around the dreary hedges but didn't see anything. With a huff, he started walking.

"Of course I'd end up in the fuckin' maze," Wolverine grumbled. "I always hated this stupid thing."

Cujo said she'd be in a different 'form', whatever that meant. So she was in hiding then.

Logan looked at the orange roses.

"Hrm, darlin'?" he asked dumbly poking one. Sheesh, he felt like a jack ass.

A loud bark made him jump. Whipping around, he was met with the mangiest, ugliest brown dog he had ever seen. It was snarling at him, lips curled and canines bared.

Logan hunched and ejected his claws.

"What do you want?"

With another snarling bark, the dog ran off down some different direction, disappearing between the winding walls.

"Hrngh."

That couldn't have been her, could it? No, that wasn't anything like her.

Keeping his claws out, Wolverine continued to work his way through the maze.

Was he supposed to have followed it, the dog? Or was that just a hazard or something?

From somewhere beyond the tall dull foliage, he heard a high-pitched squeal.

He jumped again, but this time was flooded with cold adrenaline. He recognized that noise but he didn't remember it. It didn't matter! Every instinct in his body was screaming he had to reach it!

But which way was out‽ Fuck it!

Slashing right through the hedges, he barreled toward the sound. Bursting free of the maze, he saw the mangy dog beneath a tree. There was a smaller dog, barely more than a puppy, a spaniel, flailing for its life between its dripping jaws.

Horror, then despair, then fury exploded through the man.

"LET IT GO!"

Blood splattered into the air as the mangy dog shrieked. Wolverine had charged it, three deep claw marks lacerated into its ugly face.

The spaniel hit the ground.

Squealing and shrieking, both dogs took off in different directions. Wolverine watched. The big dog disappeared into the fog as the smaller spun around frantically, its big brown eyes in a panic. Wait a minute…

He turned to it.

"Darlin'?"

The spaniel stopped. It turned to face him, its fluffy ears perking. Then it morphed to reveal the half-halfling in all her usual gear sitting on her knees.

"Woah," she said looking at her hands. "That was weird."

Logan smiled.

"Saved you this time."

"What?"

"Nothin'."

"Right, um, thanks for the save."

"Don't mention it."

She stood and the two regrouped.

"So, where are we?" she asked looking around.

"No where important."

"Well it's got to be important. Is this what your world looks like? Because I'm not going to lie, I'm not seeing the appeal."

"No. This is just some foggy memory. Did you know what you were doing?"

"Um, sort of. It was like I was dreaming I was a dog. Oh, you see me as a dog? That's kind of mean," she said pulling a hand to her chest.

"I don't think that's what that meant. It's gotta be more abstract than that, at least that's what my bullshit gage is saying anyway."

"Then what does it mean?"

Wolverine thought for a moment, then he shrugged.

He looked around the dreary flaxen field, the long dry grass blowing in the breeze.

"Darlin' I think you and tuts were right. This might have been a bad idea."

"Well, you're one-third of the way done already. Three-fifths really. We went to the trouble to get you this far. Might as well finish."

"Yah, might as well," he said looking around. In the dense endless fog, he could just barely make out the looming outline of a towering estate house.

"So, what do we do now? I found ya'."

Boksee was gone.

He turned to see a corvid was in her spot, its black eyes focusing on him as it twitched its feathered head.

"Uh, Darlin'?"

It took off with a loud flap, flying across the grey landscape and landing on a familiar tombstone.

Wolverine looked at it surprised, then he scowled and turned away.

"Alright, I'm done with this one."

The Boksee corvid crowed.

Wolverine came too. He was still sat across from Boksee. She was already back, her eyes bright and face trying to puzzle out what had just happened.

"What happened? Did it work?" asked Wyn fussing at them. "Are you tripping balls?"

Wolverine was still processing.

"The pup," said Kuonrat.

"Huh?" the three adventurers asked in unison.

"Well done," reiterated the chieftain. "Your first totem has been revealed, the pup."

"As in a puppy?" asked Wyn. "A little dog? Oh no. Does that mean he failed? A puppy doesn't seem very barbarian."

"Innocent and weak, the pup is something that must be nurtured and protected. It is a totem that represents motivation."

"Oohh," realized Boksee. "I see. So I was just an abstract representation of ol' Wolvie's soft spot for the small and adorable."

"What‽" exclaimed Wolverine. "That's not…"

"Yah, that makes sense."

Logan looked away with an honest blush.

Kuonrat snorted trying to hold in a laugh.

"Wait, you understood that?" asked Wyn.

"Oh yah," answered the ranger. "Once he explained it. Wolvie's let me know on multiple occasions the only reason he hasn't pummeled me yet is because I'm adorable."

"Sure, fine. If that's what you wanna get out of that," grunted Logan shortly.

The women grinned.

"Oh wait, does that mean the big dog represented something too?" wondered Boksee out loud.

Logan made some noises like he was trying to get her off topic, but she went on.

"Was the big dog symbolic?" she continued. "Was the little dog? Was it a person? Was it an actual dog? Did a big dog eat your little dog Logan?" she exclaimed concerned.

"If you don't shut your fuckin' mouth!"

"Both of you calm down," nagged Wyn. "Ranger, stop poking the bear. You probably got to see some very personal memories. Also, he's sensitive," she teased.

Logan growled at them.

Before the mutant could throttle them, Kuonrat interrupted.

"So, you've found your first totem," said the chief firmly. "Will you continue?"

Wolverine took a moment to think. Then he nodded.

They all looked to Wyn, and her impish grin faded.

The barbarian chief refilled the cups. Wyn traded places with Boksee, sitting on her knees before Logan.

"So, what will happen?" she asked Boksee as she was handed her portion of blood. She took it with apprehension.

"You'll just have a dream, or mine was more of a nightmare. Then you'll wake up when he finds you. It'll be alright."

With no further words spoken, Wolverine and Wyn looked to each other. They both watched as the other put the thick ruddy liquid to their mouth.

Again, electric darkness swallowed him. This time Wolverine was sent straight back with no hiccups. When his vision cleared, he was in a forest, just as foggy and dreary as the maze.

"Alright, well, this could be any place," he muttered looking around.

There really was nothing that stood out. Just some random forest from his random deep past. With a shrug, he started off in no real direction.

Making his way down a small hill, he soon found himself at the edge of a secluded river, the perfect place to hide oneself away. Briars of orange roses were growing around its banks.

Logan's jaw tightened.

"Oh, that's where I am."

Looking across the water, he saw something, a deer, a doe, grazing.

"Oh," he said much more pleased. "There you are tuts. That was easy."

At his voice, the deer looked up with a start. It took off leaping away.

"What? No, I know that's you!"

He took off chasing it.

Splashing through the shallow water he was on the other side of the river, the doe already having gotten a huge lead springing between the ghostly trees.

"Tuts! Stop!" he called, but the deer kept running. He kept running. He sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him, feet bare, the dense grey forest spiraling past.

"Come back!"

It was too far ahead. He could just barely see it.

"WHY WON'T YOU STAY WITH ME‽"

He couldn't catch her! His fingers tightened around something. A wooden spear was in his hand. Without thought he launched it. Straight as an arrow, it soared through the forest and plunged directly into the doe's neck. The animal flailed over itself as it skid into the dirt.

"WYN!"

Why had he done that‽ He hadn't meant to!

Gasping, he sprinted toward the downed doe. Its body was laying in the forest debris at unnatural angles, its big black eyes staring out unblinking and empty. He stared down at it.

"Tuts?"

At his command, the deer finally transformed, but not into Wyn. On her knees, the spear still lodged through her neck, a woman with curly orange hair was looking up at him.

Wolverine startled back.

"THIS AIN'T FUNNY! STOP IT!" he barked at no one.

"Claws?"

He looked back down to see Wyn was now sat before him, the spear still in her neck.

"Oh fuck!" he said dropping to his knees beside her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why…" he said reaching for it carefully.

A vice like grip landed around his wrist.

"Tut-"

With the full force of her metal gauntlet, Wyn smacked him across the face.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" she blared.

Wolverine stumbled back, stars spotting in his vision, a hand leaping to his temple.

"TUTS! What the FUCK‽'"

"Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me!"

The paladin, spear still dangling grotesquely from her neck, leapt to her feet. She glared down at him with a fury. Grabbing around her waist, she reached into her sheaths and holsters but found them empty. She had no weapons, well except one. Her hands leapt to the spear.

"Wait DON'T!"

They both shouted as she yanked it out. Blood exploded out of her, spraying into the air like a fountain. With a mundane thud, her armored body collapsed, spear clattering lamely to the dirt, and vivid pink eyes gazing out unblinking and empty.

Drenched in blood, Wolverine was left sitting on his knees overtop the corpse.

"Better dead then, huh?" he breathed. He looked out into the dreary forest. Snow began to fall around him. He was naked. After a long moment he looked back down.

Wyn was gone. In her place was a dove, its white feathers unsoiled.

"Tuts?"

With a perky shake it took off, escaping up and out of the woods and soaring into the miserable endless sky.

And just like that Wolverine was back. Wyn was sitting across from him right where she had been. Both were panting.

"Claws, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that," she stammered.

"You're sorry‽" he demanded. "I killed you!"

"Woah what? What happened?" asked Boksee.

"The doe," said Kuonrat.

The party turned to him.

"The doe, much like the pup is innocent, helpless."

"I am clearly not helpless," snapped Wyn.

"Relax paladin," said Boksee. "We're just like symbolic or something in there. It's Wolvie's head space."

"Still not helpless," she grumped.

"No, you weren't. You didn't quite play the part," said Kuonrat.

Wyn baulked.

"It doesn't matter. The totem still played itself out. It was no fault of yours. It is a rare occurrence that can happen when opposing totems meet," he said giving her a thoughtful look.

She looked back at him puzzled.

The chief turned to Wolverine.

"Paired with the strictly feminine aspect, that innocence and helplessness transforms into assured death. The doe is a totem of damnation."

"So… now does that mean he failed?" asked Boksee concerned.

"You have one totem left to reveal. Will you continue?"

Wolverine took a long moment to seriously consider.

He nodded.

Kuonrat refilled his cup and handed it back to him.

"I'm out of companions," husked Wolverine. "Who am I looking for?"

The chief just offered him the cup.

With a glare, Wolverine took it.

"Fine. Let's just get this over with already."

Without question he tipped it down his throat.

Another explosion of electric black and he was back, back in some distant memory just on the edge of his consciousness. This one was just barely holding itself together, almost entirely grey and ghostly. There were the vaguest ideas of where he was, a hanging clothes line, a fire wood axe. There was a path of orange rose petals at his feet, leading him towards a distant foggy cabin.

Ignoring them, he glowered and turned in the opposite direction. He moved to head into the woods, but before he could take his first step, a pair of golden eyes were looking back at him.

A massive wolf, maw snarling and teeth dripping stepped from the shadows.

It took Wolverine a moment to register what he was seeing, then he grinned at it, his violent fanged smile.

Not even bothering to eject his claws, the mutant tackled the wolf as it charged him. They were wrestling and tumbling, claws slashing and jaws snapping.

Clack!

He punched it in the jaw, hand slicing open on its razor-sharp teeth.

Rip!

A paw cleaved four dull gashes down the bare skin of his chest.

Dozens of eyes were watching them. An entire pack was bearing witness to the challenging of the alpha.

The memory glitched and strained, flashes of a cage fight and shouting drunken men flashed in and out.

With a kick to its ribs, Wolverine sent the wolf tumbling. Snarling and hunched, the two combatants circled each other.

"So," panted Wolverine. "Was this the freebie then?"

The wolf stopped.

"Yah, knew it was you from the beginning Cujo."

Raising to its full height, the wolf morphed into Kuonrat. Unlike the others he was already standing.

"The wolf," he declared. "The most sacred of beasts. Predatory, sharp and wild, yet perfectly united with its pack. The wolf represents the truest form of family, the loyalty of a dog without the sacrifice of its claws. It is a totem that represents kunją."

Wolverine stood as the memory faded around them. The two men were left alone in an empty grey void.

"The challenge is over. I, Chief Kuonrat, have borne witness to you in your victories and your depths."

At the barbarian's command, visions of their brief battle through the catacombs flashed around them.

"I have seen a friend of beasts, a warrior who demands greatness of himself and so inspires it in the ones he fights with, and a leader who would use himself as a bridge so others may cross."

As the visions faded, Wolverine looked around the endless grey abyss.

"Does that mean I passed? What do I do now?"

"Your three totems are revealed. Now see them in all the souls who have brought them to you. The pup..."

Wolverine heard yipping. He turned around to see a bouncy litter of puppies running up behind him. Bounding past his legs they lined up to one side of the chief. Then they transformed, morphing into the ghostly forms of familiar faces. They were his students at Xavier's, youngsters he had saved, sacrificed for, or taken under his wing over the decades, and one spunky young girl in a particularly gawdy yellow raincoat.

The old mutant's mouth fell open.

"The doe…"

A herd of deer softly walked to stand at the chief's other side. Again, they transformed into familiar faces, all women, and each one breaking his heart. The orange haired woman was there, her curly hair tied back into a tight bun, but there were so many more: a bloody kimono, a sullen face framed by braided pigtails, and at the very front, an X-Man, her long red hair whipping in her sheer fiery power.

"And the wolf."

Hundreds of wolves flooded in behind him. They circled around the two men and transformed. Some remained literal wolves while most others morphed into miners, crooks, thugs, workmen, beasts. There were more. Native American tribes, mutants, misfits, villagers from nearly every corner of the Earth, bands of soldiers from across the ages, and at the very front, his X-Men.

"The barbarian is defined by his family…" said Kuonrat as Wolverine looked from face to face to face. He was looking into the eyes of people who had been dead for a hundred years, people he had forgotten for fifty.

"And his brothers," continued the chief. "But family and brothers are not one and the same. There is only one family, one clan, but there are many brothers. There are more players on this stage."

Again, Wolverine heard yipping. He turned to see another spaniel running toward him. This one was male.

"There are brothers of water alone…"

Just as it reached him, it morphed into the mangy dog, now more monster than canine, his three claw marks still slashed into its face. Logan threw a kick as it attacked him, forcing it off with a set of blades.

"Coincidental," continued the barbarian chief. "A brother bonded by nothing but the water of the womb is worth no more than a stranger. Meaningless. Then, there are brothers of piss."

The dog, circling them, morphed again. Its body doubled in size, hair growing wild and striped. Its jaw snapped off its hinges as two massive teeth erupted from its gums. It was a dog no more, but a saber-toothed cat.

Wolverine threw up his claws as the enormous predator pounced on him.

"A brother bonded by nothing but mutual hatred…"

He stabbed and slashed at it, the cat swiping and gouging at him with its claws.

"The eternal battle achieving nothing but twisting the bonds of fate tighter."

Ramming it under the sternum, Wolverine threw the cat flailing onto its back. It rolled and disappeared into the ghostly congregation.

"And then, there are brothers of blood…"

"Ach!"

Wolverine looked down to see a single small spider had bit him on the hand, the only animal to land a hit. It webbed to the ground and scuttled away.

"Hrngh," he snarled.

"The brothers we choose, the brothers bonded by shed blood. Whether these brothers are brothers of water or of piss, only brothers of blood are family," said Kuonrat as Logan watched the spider scuttle into the line-up.

"I have seen you Wolverine," declared Kuonrat drawing back his attention. "You are not of this world, and you have lived the lifetimes of a dozen men, each time, without fail, finding a new kunją. Even if your mind fails you, your spirit remembers."

The hundreds of watching faces, alive or dead, remembered or forgotten, all looked just as real as the next. They stood for him, offering their silent testimony.

"You do not replace the old, but bind them, through you creating a great clan across the centuries. You are no barbarian…"

The chief held an arm over his chest and bowed his head.

"You are a chief."

The mutant's face dropped open.

"My clan would be honored to call you one of our own."

With just a moment's hesitation, Wolverine returned the gesture.

"The primordial calls you. Go now."

The void faded away.

Logan was standing in a forest, but this one was different. It was solid. The ground beneath him was rocky and the thousands of narrow trees were so tall he couldn't see their tops. The horizon in all directions was an endless glowing grey, that same grey his foggy memories threatened to fade away into.

He didn't see anything.

"Now what?"

Something moved in his periphery. Turning, he saw the shadow of a wolf spanned across several slim tree trunks. It was watching him. And as he looked to it, it started walking across the trees. Hundreds of wolf shadows, but no wolves, joined it. They walked through the forest leading him forward.

With a nod, Wolverine followed.

The shadows of melancholy doe and scampering pups joined the precession, ghosts in the grey forest.

He spotted a black corvid and a white dove perched on a branch above, watching him.

"Gals?"

They didn't react.

"Hrm."

Continuing forward, he stepped on something hard. A wooden handle leapt up and whacked him in the face.

"GAH! What the?"

He looked down to see his foot on the blade of a random garden hoe.

"What… Is this some sort of joke‽" he barked to no one annoyed. "Do I look like a Stooge?"

He stepped off the blade to let the handle fall back down with a clunk. As his foot moved away, it landed on something else with a crunch. The sound made his hair stand on end.

Twisting around, he saw a single orange rose utterly crushed beneath his heel.

Disgust, then anger dropped into his stomach.

"Oh, that's real clever," growled the old mutant looking from the hoe to the rose. "You don't think I've gotten all that by now," he scoffed stomping past them both. More things popped and crunched under his feet. He didn't look down, but each one might as well have been the sound of someone's snapping neck. It wasn't unbearable, but it filled him with a dark, unnameable emotion.

With another sickly, popping squelch, he came to a stop.

Maybe this wasn't the way he was supposed to go.

He looked to the herds of shadows. They were still moving forward, a silent pilgrimage. One of them, a pup, caught his eye.

An innocent smile, maybe the first that had hit the man's mouth in decades lit across his face. He recognized it. He remembered it. Its name even jumped back into his head.

In his deep growling voice, he called it.

"Callie?"

The shadow turned, stubby tail wagging. Then it came running right off the tree.

Wolverine dropped to a knee as the spaniel, the real spaniel, his honest dog, jumped into his arms, excitedly licking at his ear.

"Callie," he husked happily. "Hey girl. It's been a while."

His thick hands, ones so often used for violence, pet the dickens out of the small dog. He gave it a kiss on the head.

"Missed ya'. How's doggy heaven treatin' ya'?"

It excitedly wiggled as he scratched under its fluffy ears.

"Sorry I couldn't save you. Fuck face ain't up there with you is he?"

The dog of course didn't reply.

"Yah I know. That was a joke."

Deciding to take his dog with him, the old mutant carried on, ignoring whatever else he stepped on.

Cresting a mound, he finally saw who he had come here to meet.

A ghostly form, a great swirling mass of flowing whites and greys towered over the land below. It was a beast just like the statue had depicted, a strange amalgamation of every possible mammalian predator. He couldn't make out any eyes, but it certainly had a large tooth filled muzzle.

"That's your cue to head out," he said giving his dog another forehead peck before placing it on the ground. It ran off and rejoined the legions of shadows.

Steeling himself, Wolverine headed toward the primordial.

It waited patiently, sitting on its haunches while he walked up to it. Only after he came to a stop did it finally open its toothy maw.

"What is your name?" it asked. Its voice was a harsh, hollow rasp, like a hard wind was forming words, but with bite.

"Call me Wolverine," said Logan straight faced.

"That is not your name."

"Fine then, Logan."

"That is not your name."

"What name do you want me to give you?"

"Your name."

"Which is?"

The primordial snarled.

"Your name is James Howlett," it told him.

"I don't use that name."

"Why?"

"'Cause a name I picked for myself matters a lot more than a name someone else gave me."

"Only if that name is not a LIE," it breathed like a thunderous wind.

"And what name is a lie?"

"One that is not earned."

"And how do you earn a name?" asked Wolverine.

"How do you earn a name?" it asked back.

Logan paused. He actually took a second to think.

"Well, I know one thing," he answered. "James sure ain't earned. That name was the lie. That's why I picked a better one."

"LIE."

"What‽ I ain't lying!"

"You did not choose that name."

"Yes I did! I killed for that name!"

"LIE! You have never chosen a name. NEVER."

"What are you talking about?"

The forest started shifting around him. He felt himself tip.

"What answer do you want‽"

He was consumed in an explosion of electric darkness.

Wolverine was a wolf.

His large black paws trotting beneath him, he kept his toothy muzzle to the ground. There was no scent but he huffed at the air regardless. He was following a set of footprints.

They quickly led him into a cave. It was a strange cave, not natural. There were old buildings carved into the stone. He noticed, but as a wolf these things mattered very little to him.

His eyes all but glowing in the dark, lips snarling up over his rows of teeth, Wolverine finally spotted what he had been hunting.

Standing in the cave, there was a woman. She had long lavender hair and was dressed in nothing but a woolen fleece. She was gathered with a group of rams. None of them had noticed him.

He let out a howl.

Leaping right past the weak prey animals, Wolverine lunged for the woman.

The lone black ram plowed into him, throwing its horns into his shoulder with all its strength. Blood shot into the air as Wolverine gored it.

The woman screamed. The sheep bleated. The two remaining rams charged at him but they were nothing but sacks of blood and wool beneath his razor-sharp teeth.

Warm bodies went flying as Logan disembowel them, but he wasn't eating. They weren't his prey.

The woman was running, bare feet smacking into the stony cave floor. Over the bodies of the rams Wolverine chased her down.

His blood drenched fangs snapped onto her woolen fleece, tearing it from her body in a duet of growls and screams. She was thrown to the ground, her thin naked form landing beneath him, pinned between his monstrous paws.

Logan just hung there, reveling in his prey's suffering, fat globs of saliva dripping from his curled lips onto her petrified face.

Outside his view, the woman's finger found a fallen dagger. Bare chest beating in a panic, she grabbed it.

He lunged!

"AHHH!"

With a scream she plunged her dagger into Logan's side.

The wolf let out a shriek as metal speared through his organs. And again! The dagger was pulled out and thrust back in. And again!

Wolverine squealed and screamed as the woman stabbed him again over and over and over and OVER!

"GAHH! AHH! AHHH!"

Every thrust of her dagger, every explosion of crimson was accompanied by her own screams. She was over top of him, liquifying him, her coat of sheep's wool replaced by a coating of blood. She was so completely drenched the only things visible were her wide white eyes and snarling teeth.

With a sob, she finally dropped the dagger, then stared down at the mutilated form of the canine.

"Claws?" she gagged.

Before his eyes, Wolverine's paws morphed into hands but he didn't recognize them. For a moment he was a stranger, the woman's eyes going wide, then he morphed back to himself. Logan was sat on his knees before Wyn. He looked to her mortified.

"I don't know why I did that," he breathed.

"I know."

She was clean and back in her usual armor.

The two sat in the cave.

"So we're in your head now huh?" asked Wolverine looking around.

"It would appear so."

Her memory seemed so much more vivid and clear than his, solid. He could even make out some of the carvings on the ancient stone ruins.

"This is where your brothers were killed?" he asked plainly.

Wyn startled.

"Wh-when did I tell you about that?"

"I overheard."

She sighed.

"We were just a silly group of porcelains. The highest ranked amongst us, my oldest brother, Alun, was only obsidian," she said looking at the black ram. "In a band of brothers I was little sister, a prodigy by all accounts, the only reason they let me come along."

She looked around the ruin cave.

"We came in here to kill an ochre jelly, an ochre jelly," she laughed, her face in pain. "Some highway men followed us in from the road and ambushed us. They were thieves, savages. They said, we'll take the girl."

"My brothers tried to defend me, and they were slaughtered like sheep. We were just silly porcelains. We weren't prepared for the wolves."

Bringing up her armor-plated knees, Wyn huddled in on herself.

"This is about the other night too, ain't it?" asked Logan.

She looked away.

"I know you didn't mean to," she said quietly.

"That don't matter."

"I know that rationally. You weren't yourself."

"You don't know what myself is."

"But I was so afraid," she cried turning to him. Tears were running down her face. "I didn't see it coming. Peter tried to warn me but I didn't listen. After all these years, after everything, I'm still just that silly little porcelain. It never changed. Trapped beneath you, beneath that horrible look in your eyes, I was still just that fifteen-year-old girl. I was helpless."

She buried her head and sobbed.

The older mutant watched her, his jaw tightening.

"Tuts," he offered, the warmth of his tone pulling her back out. "You were never helpless. You were the survivor."

He pulled aside a flap of his hide vest to show the stab marks from her dagger were still in his body.

She looked down at them.

"Your brothers may have died like sheep, but you made sure those bastards died like dogs." He pulled his vest open wide showing every single stab of her dagger, dozens upon dozens of them. "That means somethin'."

Wyn nodded, but turned away, her face still sullen.

Wolverine covered himself.

"Look, I've been around long enough to know there's always going to be things bigger and stronger than you are. It can't be helped. No matter who you are, no matter what you're doing, you can only grow yourself so much. You'll always fail somewhere. You just prepare the best you can, then grit your teeth when the poundin' comes, because it always does. Sorry it had to come from me."

"No," she said finally. "No, I think it was a good thing."

"What? It's a good thing I strangled you half to death?" he demanded. "Fuck tuts, I must've cut off your air too long."

"This all means that the wolf is one of my totems, right?"

"I guess. The wolf was one of my totems too, but it meant something very different to me. Guess they can mean different things to different people."

"So that means there will always be wolves," she said gravely. "No matter where I go in my life, whether I'm an adventurer or not, whether I hide, a wolf will always find me."

"Don't give up like that."

"No, but don't you see?" she said perking back up. "I get it. These men were monsters and they were wolves, but not all wolves are monsters. This showed me that. There's a reason why wolves have been written into every cautionary tale, they are the monsters of our bedtime stories, but that's just it. They aren't monsters. By definition they aren't. There are real monsters in the world and yet we still choose to fear the wolf. Wolves are just wolves. They're just animals. They just are what they are. And as much as they're feared, wolves were also man's very first friend."

She looked to him.

"If I am to always have wolves, if that is the curse of my soul, then they might as well be friends," she said giving him a heavy smile. "A wolf can be a friend," she reiterated. "It can. You just have to remember what it is. You have to keep track of the claws."

"That ain't your job," said Logan sternly. "It ain't your job to watch for other people not to hurt you."

"It's reality."

"I'm sorry."

The two sat in the memory of the cave. Then Wolverine growled.

"And I'm sorry I got you roped into this," he grumped. "I should'a just listened."

Wyn turned to him.

"Look, I ain't the best with words tuts, but pushin' myself, challegin' myself helps me feel my best. All the other bullshit don't matter when there's something to chase. Somethin' I can get my hands on. It lets me forget. I keep thinkin' it will do that for others too but it keeps backfiring. Brings out the worst in them, the bad. Makes them remember."

"I think it depends on the challenge."

"Now I've gone and thrown myself into somethin' that brought up my bad too," he huffed.

By Logan's knee, an orange rose had grown up through the cave gravel.

They both looked down at it.

"Who was she Claws?" Wyn asked point blank.

With a sigh, Wolverine reached down. There was a snap as he plucked the flower and held it up before them.

"A long long time ago," he began. "She was the most important person in my life."

Turning the rose between his fingers he sighed again, this time in realization.

"That's what this is about. I didn't choose my name. She named me. She was the one who called me Logan."

"Why? What was wrong with James? That's your name, right?"

"I needed a fake name. I think that's how it happened anyway. I've remembered and forgotten and remembered and forgotten so many times it's hard to know what was real. I'll probably forget again."

"Is it only because we're in here?" asked Wyn looking around the memory. "Why you remember now?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I can't even remember if I remember. Ask me again when we're back."

The mutant held the flower. Memories he wasn't sure he knew or not were given new life as he turned the delicate orange pedals, his fingers carefully twisting around its thorns.

"Nah, that ain't true," he said. "I didn't need a fake name. I needed a real one. James wasn't real. James was the second son of a man named John Howlett," he explained. "But ol' John never had a second son. He thought he did. The family's groundkeeper, a bag of shit named Thomas Logan, he did though."

Wyn's brow furrowed as she pieced together what he was saying.

"So how it went, Thomas killed John. James killed Thomas. Rose and James ran, and the widow left behind blew her brains out."

"When we ended up at the work camp, Rose and me, two kids on the run with blood on our hands, Rose said she called me Logan. Ain't sure why, but it stuck. Once I figured out what had really happened, where I really come from, you better believe I kept it. After a while, the miners there took to calling me Wolverine, 'cause I was good at diggin' of all things. I was a little spit of nothin' who could claw my way out of anything. And when I took to the cage fights, when I showed all those jack asses what a wolverine could do, that one stuck too."

"So, you and Spider-man both got your names in the ring then."

"What?" asked Logan derailed from his train of thought. "Well fuck. Guess so. Clearly, I did it first. But I guess it's true. I really have never chosen a name. I just keep the ones given to me."

"Isn't that how it normally happens?"

Wolverine was thinking.

"What happened to Rose?"

"She was the most important thing in my life. A sickly soft-skinned runt and an Irish orphan grew into a wolverine and a rose together in that pit. I thought we were always going to be together. I thought she thought that too. She didn't."

"But what happened to her?"

"I didn't keep track of my claws."

He handed Wyn the rose and hunched.

"I can't promise I'll keep better track of 'em now. I've been tryin', God knows I've been tryin', but I've been tryin' for nearly two-hundred years."

He looked down at his hands, recognizable and still alien, the metal slots sticking out of his knuckles.

A metal gauntlet took his wrist. He looked up.

"Show me," said Wyn.

"What?"

"Show me what happened to her," she repeated. She looked around the miserable memory. "Claws, get me out of here already."

His brow furrowed as he understood.

Ejecting his blades, he thrust them right through her chest. It was so quick and easy. She didn't even have time to scream.

With a gasp, then with a smile, the paladin vanished. A white dove was left in her place.

He offered it his free hand, and after a flittering jerk, the bird hopped into his open palm. He gave it a toss, then watched as it soared triumphantly out of the cave.

"Thanks tuts."

The mutant sighed, then turned his attention to his adamantium claws.

As she disappeared, the cave dissolved around him, returning him to the primordial forest. The carnivore was before him, right where he had left it.

"Have you chosen?" it asked in its rasping wind-like voice.

"I had it backwards," said Wolverine flatly. "Names we pick don't matter nothin', not alone. If we were alone we'd never even need a name. Names are for others." He looked to the primordial. "You earn a name when someone else calls you by it," he declared answering the earlier question.

"Have you chosen?" it repeated.

"This was never my choice. You've already picked one out for me. You just wanted me to figure it out."

"SAY IT."

Wolverine shook his head. Claws still ejected, he held them up to the primordial.

Its tooth filled maw smiled.

Wolverine came to. He was back exactly where he had been, sitting on his knees. The barbarian, the paladin, and the ranger were sat with him. The bowl of blood was empty.

"The primordial has given him a name!" declared Kuonrat.

BANG!

BANG BANG BANG!

With the pounding of a drum, the entire barbarian clan cheered as the three adventurers stepped out of the forest.

"My clan," declared Kuonrat throwing a hand at them. "Welcome The Wolverine and his companions, your new clansman!"

There were cheers and roars. Spears were thrust in the air. Playful punches and excited roughhousing swamped all three of them as they were dragged through the village.

The barbarian village, or the thorp as they soon learned it was called, was quite different from the usual Stranan settlement, the thorp being comprised of only a few large longhouses. There was no farming, some cultivated gardens at best, with hunted and gathered resources hanging from nearly every tree branch.

With the exception of the active warriors, most of the barbarian thorpsmen were in their non-combat summer wear, meaning they were nearly naked. It was nothing but furry loin cloths and iron breasted braziers as far as the eye could see. The women were just as hulking and posturing as the men, even the ones with children on their hips. Every adult was adorned with furs, skins, and war paint.

"Oh heavens it's an entire village of Matildas," said Wyn.

"Better watch yourself then paladin; I think she had eyes for you," laughed Boksee as Wyn's face went scarlet.

There was a feral pack of wolves lounging behind a longhouse. Spotting them, Boksee made a noise of joy then escaped beneath a girthy pair of barbarian thighs to go meet them.

"No! Take me with you!" cried Wyn.

As his team was lost somewhere in the crowd, Logan was led by the chief toward the center of the village.

There was an outdoor stage built on the front of the center longhouse. Along with a hundred other skulls, they had an enormous skull hung over it that Logan swore belonged to a dinosaur. As they approached, an old man hopped down from the center stage and made his way toward them.

"My father," introduced Kuonrat holding a hand toward him. "The previous chief and great elder of our clan. Father, I introduce our new clan member."

"Yes, I saw the omens," said the elder wrapping a firm hand around Wolverine's shoulder. Whether it was right or not, the mutant gave him a stiff shoulder wobbling in return. The barbarians seemed pleased.

"Well done my son," said the elder turning back to Kuonrat. "Leading an outsider through the Challenge of Kunją is no easy feat. It seems your instincts were right about this one."

"Honestly father, it was likely the easiest challenge ever conducted. I knew from the moment he summoned an entire pack of wolves to the runes he would meet with the primordial. It was under a minute."

The barbarians laughed.

"Prepare the ceremony!"

An enormous fire pit was lit before the stage. The cow sized body of some hoofed animal Wolverine didn't even recognize was being carried toward it.

Boksee was being introduced to the clan's symbiotic wolf pack. She was down on her knees, lavishing the still very much wild animals with affection as a lad happily told her their names.

"Woah," she said excitedly as a massive tiger lumbered over to join them.

As she turned her attention to the mammoth cat, a thorpsman approached one of the wolves. Giving it a scrap of meat, he cut a hunk of fur from its coat.

Wyn was with a group of barbarian women.

"So a wolf huh?" asked one. "Very, very nice. I've got a spider eater myself," she said showing Wyn one of the tassels on her spear, one made of leathery skin.

"I've got a branta," said another pulling a tassel of fur. "Turns out he's my husband."

The barbarian women laughed.

"Do any of you know a Matilda of Newport?"

Logan was just standing off to the side, smiling fondly as barbarians came up and introduce themselves every so often. His mood was quickly being lifted, and the horn of true barbarian beer he had been given sure wasn't hurting anything.

"Wolverine," said Kuonrat as he and his father approached. "We've encountered a problem."

"Hm? What is it?"

"Father has discovered you have a living brother. By our traditions, he must stand for you."

"What are you talkin' about? I don't have any brothers, not here anyway."

"Oh you certainly do," said Kuonrat's father. "There is someone here who shares your blood."

"What are you-"

The elder took his hand and turned it over. A streak of the primordial blood was smeared onto his palm like a slash mark.

Wolverine's eyebrows shot up.

"Well son of a gun."

He looked to the women enjoying themselves.

"And you're sure you don't want to try the challenge yourself little dove?" asked a woman to Wyn. "Playing the companion is a good warm up."

"Oh heavens no. I think I've had quite my fill of all this. Besides, I don't think even the convent cat would vouch for me. I'm terrible with animals."

The women again laughed.

"Alright," said Logan to the clan leaders. "If you insist. I'll go get him."

It was evening by the time Wolverine made his way back to the old stone wall.

He spotted Spider-man and Nih sitting around and reading a book. They turned as he stepped out of the woods.

"Oh hey Wolvie," said Peter cheerfully. "Did your barbarian spirit gauntlet thing go well?"

"Yep. Come on. I need you."

"Moi? What for?"

Logan groaned.

In all his furry, burly, barbarian glory, Kuonrat stepped out of the woods behind him.

The chief looked down at Spider-man.

"This one?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yah, unfortunately."

"Ah! Logan! You couldn't have given me some warning? Don't bring your Conan friends around while I'm in the elf suit!" exclaimed Spider-man scrambling to undress. They watched him hop and flail around out of his tights.

"That must have quite the story attached to it," said Kuonrat.

"You have no idea."

The barbarian turned his attention to the elf.

"Alae drow."

Nih's ears raised.

"Alae."

"Ah, well, I see you two have had a tangle and he didn't die at least," said Kuonrat getting distracted by Spider-man again, noting the vivid pink claw marks on him.

"I'm right here you know," he snarked trying to cover himself.

"It's high praise."

With a pant, Peter finally wrangled on his usual civies.

"So, what are we doing?"

"Got a party to attend, so you better not make me look bad," said Wolverine. "I need you to stand for me."

Spider-man gave him a puzzled look.

"Are you getting married?"

Drums purred and fire burned.

The barbarian clan was gathered around the thorp's center stage. Stood upon it was Kuonrat in the full ceremonial trappings of a chieftain.

The clan elder, as well as several important barbarians were stood to one side of the stage. To the other, the Far Marvels. Wyn and Boksee were adorned in war paint. Spider-man had one random blue splotch on his face and a bowl in his hands. Nih didn't have anything but he was still allowed to come up.

The barbarian chief stepped forward and held out his arms.

"And so another warrior has passed through the Challenge of Kunją," he pronounced.

He pulled a fur and hide sheet from a crouched figure revealing Wolverine. The mutant stood. He was in nothing but a loincloth, his dense muscular body painted in vivid blue patterns.

"I, Chief Kuonrat, have borne witness. This man has inspired worthy companions to fight with him, battled the ancient ancestors, and named his totems. He has pleased the primordial carnivore and so was given a name. Will his brother present the ceremonial dye," he commanded.

Doing as he had been instructed, Peter stepped forward and bowed, holding out his bowl of blue paint.

Wyn, Boksee, and Nih looked to each other confused.

Kuonrat dipped his fingers and painted three vivid lines straight down the mutant's face.

"From this day forth, this man will be known to the Black Spear Clan as Tárklawō, the enduring claw, for when all other blades have fallen, his alone will remain."

Wolverine was turned to face the audience, and feeling the moment, threw up his hands with a snarl. Both sets of shining claws ejected in front of his face and the crowd roared.

"The hide," commanded Kuonrat.

Two barbarians walked over a furry pelt. As Logan sheathed himself, the chief took it and presented it to him.

"From one chief to another, I present this most exquisite hide. This is made from the man eater, the crag cat, the most prized of pelts. Like death itself, the great cat can be found anywhere and so its fur is the most versatile of any carnivore. It will keep you warm in the winter, and in the summer, it will do nothing but keep the sun from your back. The greatest power is in the skin itself. This hide holds a great resistance to magic and will dampen any spell aimed upon you."

Logan bowed as the chief wrapped it over his shoulders.

"Good thing, barbarians are terrible against magic," Wyn tried to whisper.

Boksee shushed her.

"It has been adorned with the fur of his three totems," the chief pronounced showing Wolverine the tassels on it. "The pup, the doe, and the wolf." Then he leaned in and said more quietly. "We got a bit lucky that all your totems were fairly common animals," he admitted with cheek. "Made for a quick ceremony."

"Wait, you're telling me a wolverine isn't in there?" asked Peter.

"No man has a man as a totem Spider-man," replied Kuonrat. "It would be redundant."

"Wha- oooooh," he said getting it.

The chief chuckled.

The cloak had dark leather straps to keep it in place. As Kuonrat fastened them around Wolverine's bare chest, it was revealed that they serendipitously formed a proud X across his sternum.

"Wear it," said the chief. "And everywhere will know that you are Sverkier kunją, a member of the Black Spear Clan, a true barbarian."

The thorp cheered.

The barbarians were celebrating. It wasn't every day a total outsider completed their clan's rite of passage, and oh boy, did they know how to party. Alcohol and freshly fired meat flowed like water. Drums and horns blared. It wasn't that drunken brawls were breaking out. It was more like there was one continuous brawl constantly rolling near the center of the thorp with combatants tagging in and out. Wolverine had been one of the first involved but had since miraculously had his fill.

The Far Marvels were now standing off to the side enjoying the food and drink. Spider-man of course wasn't drinking, but he and Nih had both managed to find eccentric barbarian headwear.

"So wait, you two are brothers?" demanded Boksee.

Wolverine and Spider-man both gave her a look like they were a pair of naughty toddlers caught in the act.

"Since when‽" she exclaimed. "You don't look anything alike, and isn't he like a hundred years older than you are something?"

"Oh yah, he's older than dirt," said Spider-man. "He's a hundred years older than my grandparents, I think. I can't believe you told them about that," he said to Logan with visible embarrassment.

"I didn't say shit. I went on some spirit quest and they figured it out."

"Would you like to explain?" asked Wyn

"We're not literal brothers," said Peter grabbing the back of his head. "We're blood brothers."

"What does that mean?" asked Boksee.

"That he cut open my hand and squashed all our blood together once."

"It was a ceremonial thing like this. Don't worry about it," said Logan shortly.

"Well," said Wyn, a grin stretching across her face. "And here you two act so much like you don't like each other."

"Shut it."

"Oh no, they have a very strong relationship," said Nih. "That was clear from the beginning. It's very much nodel ent alu, a push and pull."

"Who pushes and who pulls?" asked Boksee.

"Yes."

Wyn chuckled.

"The scary part is when they're moving in the same direction," she said snidely. "But Claws, while I've got you, you know, before your next round of being tossed around by five six-foot tall barbarian women…"

"There were six of them."

"Do you mind if I go ahead and ask you?"

"Ask me what?" he gargled nose deep in a drinking horn.

"Now that we're back, do you still remember?"

"Remember what?"

Wyn's face dropped.

"Rose?" she asked apprehensively.

Wolverine's own face dropped. Pulling down his drink, she could see him puzzle. Then he thought, then snorted.

"Rose?" asked Spider-man. "Rose who?"

"Yah… 'Course I remember," he said looking away.

"Who's Rose?" asked Spider-man turning to Wyn.

Wyn looked to Wolverine but he wouldn't face her.

"An old friend of Wolverine's, an important one."

"I've never heard of any Rose."

"You don't know everything about my fuckin' life," Logan snipped turning to him. "I don't know everything 'bout my fuckin' life."

"I feel like I know more than most," argued Peter impishly. "I met your crazy big brother Dog that one time back in 1852 or whatever."

"Oh, I forgot about that. And I told you not to talk about that."

"You have a brother named Dog?" asked Boksee cocking an eyebrow, a tipsy blush across her cheeks. "Animal themed names are just a thing where you're from, huh?"

"Eh, just a brother of water. Maybe a little piss. He don't mean nothin'."

"I thought your only other brother was Sabertooth."

"Who?" asked Nih.

"Ok, seriously. Are you two actually brothers or what?" demanded Spider-man. "What is the relationship here? Did you come from a litter or something?"

"Aww," fawned Boksee. "If he did come from a litter, he would have been the runt."

"That's…" Logan snapped angrily. Then he thought. "Fuck, that's true actually. Damn it."

Spider-man laughed.

Logan turned to him. "Ah well, just another thing we got in common I guess kid."

"What? I was an only child."

"Yah, but you got runt of the litter written all over you."

"It's true. You do have that aura," agreed Boksee.

"Wait, I've got foundling aura and runt of the litter aura?"

"Yah."

"Oh, and elf aura on top of that, I guess," he said flopping over with a sigh. "Ugh."

"Yes, so in conclusion, you are quite the incredible spider man," said Nih trading hats with him. Peter perked back up.

"Arianwyn," said Kuonrat approaching.

"Yes?"

"Though you were not conducting the challenge, you were granted a vision of one of your totems by the primordial."

The chief presented her with a tassel of wolf fur.

Her eyes went wide.

"Thank you," she said taking it.

He gave her a smile and a nod and went to do something else.

Boksee gave it a look.

"Oh, you got wolf too? I'm kind of jealous. Wish I knew what mine are."

"You can go ask Cujo," said Logan throwing a thumb. "I'm sure he's got another spirit quest or two in him."

"Ehhh…"

"I don't want to do a spirit quest," said Spider-man. "I'd probably end up in Silent Hill, knowing my luck."

"My totem's probably a mushroom," said Nih.

The party laughed.

Pulling her mace from her hip, Wyn tied the fur tassel to it. With a heavy clunk, she swung her weapon back over her shoulder and smiled.

"Your totem can't be a mushroom; it's redundant," teased Spider-man. "Also a fungus."

"Aye, I think they have to be animals," said Boksee.

"Very well. I've been surrounded by snails," he grinned cooly. "They shall be my totem."

"That's way too literal!"

"He's all metaphor-ed out for the day," said Peter.

The party was bantering and laughing back and forth. Wolverine wasn't really paying attention. The old mutant was watching the drunken revelry. A barbarian celebration, a filthy saloon at a work camp, a village gathering, a bar, a pub, a mess house, onshore, offshore, under fire, in the woods, maybe even at a corny Cajun Christmas in a mansion, it was all the same.

He looked at the smiling, bickering faces as a barbarian got their head dunked into a barrel and his family burst out laughing.

Yah, it was all the same, only the names changed. The faces stayed exactly the same.

The party ducked as the village elder was tossed into the wall above them. They recoiled as the old man landed on the ground then leapt back into the current brawl with a drunken roar.

"Ok, maybe not exactly the same," Wolverine laughed.

The party went back to bantering.

"Flying old men or not, there's no way!" exclaimed Boksee at something he didn't hear. "Wolvie, what do you think?"

"Hm? Oh, what? What do I think? I think I'm tired of all this introspection bullshit. Can we please just go kill somethin' next time?"

The party laughed.

The celebration was winding down, meaning there were only three or four barbarians beating each other at a time. The rest of the thorpsmen were just enjoying the food, drink, and conversation. A few games had started up. A ball was being kicked around while some other competition involved chucking a hunk of metal across the clearing. A few barbarians cheered as Boksee landed a shot on the closest target. One sorely group was licking their wounds after having brawled too close to the wild wolf pack. Nih might have helped but he was busy having a pleasant conversation with Kuonrat and his drunken father.

Spider-man and Wolverine were sitting together. They were sharing some random hunk of cooked animal Wolverine had brawled away from the chief.

"Did you really think you were going to eat all this?" asked Spider-man.

"No. I just didn't want him to have it."

Spider-man laughed.

"Talk about whiplash. I went from spending all day with elves to this."

"I still say you should join at least one scrap. Can you imagine the look on their faces?"

"Didn't you say not to make you look bad?"

"Fuck you."

They chuckled.

Spider-man felt something massive, furry, and alive flopped down behind his back. He twisted around to see the colossal eyes of a tiger looking back at him.

Aww!" he exclaimed happily giving it a pet.

"Not the usual reaction," grumbled Logan raising an eyebrow. "Surprised you didn't piss yourself."

"What? Are you disappointed? I saw him earlier. I know he's friendly. And he chose me!"

He gave the cat some of their meat.

"I hereby dub you Richard Parker the Third," said the younger man poking the tiger on the forehead. It made a growling noise and yawned.

"The third?"

"Yah, the first Richard Parker is the tiger from Life of Pi, the second was my dad. Believe me, that was a weird revelation in ninth grade English class."

"That tiger's a girl idiot."

"Even better! See it's funny because in the book the tiger's name was an accident. It was the hunter who was actually Richard Parker, so this is like another version of the same name accidentally being given…"

"Anyway," interrupted Logan. "How was the elf place?

"It was really nice. They had like an entire fountain of wine."

"No kidding? How come I didn't get to come? That's wasted on you."

"If you had come we would've found your corpse in it."

"Fair. Anything excitin' happen?"

"Uh, I saw some elf porn."

Logan bit off a hunk of the femur he was eating on.

"Any good?" he garbled.

"Not really."

"Was it gay? I'm bettin' it was gay. Either that or the most hetero thing ever. Elves are hard to read."

"You're one to talk. Honestly, I couldn't even tell what I was looking at. I only got to see it for a second. Nih said I needed to be a hundred years older to witness such 'unbridled debauchery'," Spider-man said doing air quotes.

"Unbridled debauchery, eh?" grinned Logan. "Wait…"

Wolverine blinked.

"I'm a hundred years older."

There was a long pause as the two men stared at each other.

"Hey elf boy!"

The End