The penguin's gonna do it.
Chapter 45
Having the Talk
Finn pulled away from the hug and stared at his mother nervously. "Uh, Mom…I think we need to talk."
"Oh?" Minerva frowned and tilted her head. "About what, sweetheart?"
Finn looked behind him at all of his friends. "Uh…in private, if that's alright."
"Of course." Helper Grover placed his hand on Jake's shoulder. "Come, Mr. Jake. We'll find you and your friends a place to stay for the time being."
"Okay, cool. Best of luck, Finn, for real." Jake grabbed the unconscious Ice King by his upper arms and dragged him away, following Grover over the bridge and out the door of the AI control room.
Kara picked up the two robots. "Bye, Finn's mom!" BMO said with a wave of his arm. "It was very nice to meet you."
"Goodbye lady who is technically my grandmother," said Neptr. "I hope that is not weird."
"Uh…I'll see you later, Finn," Kara said with some awkwardness. "Sorry, I just…seriously need someone to bring me up to speed on things, I'm sort of freakin' out here."
She then followed Grover and Jake out of the AI control room, leaving Finn alone with his mom.
"Is there something the matter, Finn?" Minerva asked. "If you're worried about beginning school so late in the semester, I see no harm in waiting until next–"
"Uh, Mom, listen." Finn took a deep breath. "...A lot has happened since I left Founder's Island."
"There is no need to delve into the terrors you have endured, sweetie," Minerva said. "We can forget about that whole ordeal."
"Look, Mom, I know you think that everything I went through was some kind of horror show, but honestly, it was more like a life-changing semester abroad," Finn said. "I…really liked it over there."
"Oh. Well, uh, I'm glad that it wasn't such a terrible thing you went through," said Minerva. "But now that you're back–"
"Mom, I…" Finn let out a long sigh. "...I plan to go back to Ooo…and stay there."
Minerva's eyes widened and she frowned. Her reaction was like she had heard something that confused her.
"What…are you talking about?" Minerva asked carefully. It was like she was speaking to a patient of hers about something private and complicated.
"I'm going back to Ooo," Finn stated. "I only came back to see you again and tell you this in person."
"You want to go back to that mutant-infested place?" Minerva asked in bewilderment. "...You must have suffered some sort of traumatic brain injury. Let me scan you again so that I can–"
"Mom, this isn't coming from a head injury or something," Finn said. "This is coming from me. The real me."
"But…I don't understand," Minerva said. "You're home, Finn, you're finally home. This is where you belong."
"I thought that too," Finn said. "But a friend once told me that you start to belong when you feel like you belong. And, I feel like I belong in Ooo, where I can do the most good."
"Is this about those girlfriends of yours that the dog mentioned?" Minerva asked.
"No, this is not about those ex-girlfriends of mine," Finn whined with blushing cheeks.
"You didn't get one of them pregnant, did you?!" Minerva exclaimed. "Is that why you want to go back so badly?! Am I a grandmother?!"
"What?! No!" Finn's whole face turned red. "For crying out loud, Mom!"
"So, this isn't about some girl waiting for you back in Ooo?" Minerva asked.
"There isn't any girl waiting for me back in Ooo!" Finn said. "...Well, except for the one I sort of work for–you'd really like her, I think. And there's also this other girl who I sold my soul to."
"You WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have told you that–look, Mom. I know it's a lot to take in, but this is what I want to do with my life," Finn said. "I'm a hero back in Ooo. I've done so much good over there, more than I could ever do here."
"But it's dangerous in Ooo!" said Minerva. "Just look at what happened to your arm!"
"Ooo didn't do this!" Finn lifted up his metal arm. "Dr. Gross did this to me!"
MInerva's eyes went wide. "What? Casandra would never–"
"Well, she did," Finn said. "Right after I stopped her from kidnapping people and committing country-wide genocide!"
Minerva blinked. "She…No, that can't be."
"Mom, she's the one who started the Pandemic that drove us off Hub Island. She's the one who killed the Island Leaders. And she's the one who sliced off my arm, kidnapped my friend's son, and brought the Guardian to Ooo all the way from Founder's Island so she could destroy everything!"
"The Island Guardian?" Minerva asked in shock. "That's impossible. The Guardian–"
"Didn't even pop his head out of the ocean when my ship approached the island," Finn said. "That's because we destroyed the Guardian before it could destroy innocent people."
Minerva silently brought her hand to her mouth. "...Finn…are you saying that…the Island Guardian, which has kept our island safe for generations…is now–"
"Destroyed," Finn finished. "Yeah."
Minerva ran her hand through her hair in a state of suppressed panic. "...This calls for immediate action," she stated. "We will have to begin construction on a new Guardian as soon as possible." Minerva looked at Finn. "I…believe you are telling me the truth, Finn. I do not believe and I see no reason why you would lie to me. And, I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. I had no idea that Dr. Gross was capable of such damage. I know you would prefer not to recollect all that has transpired between you and Dr. Gross. But, please tell me…did Casandra go peacefully?"
Closing his eyes and bowing his head, Finn was silent for a long time before answering.
"...She did. And, she was buried respectfully," Finn said. "I would know, I'm the one who buried her. And…" Finn lifted his head and looked at his mom. "I'm the one who killed her."
Minerva gasped, lifting her fingers up to her mouth in shock and horror.
"You…y-you killed Dr. Gross?" she asked.
Finn nodded. "I did."
"What…" Minerva seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say. "Finn, how could you do such a thing? Dr. Gross was your teacher. She loved you like a nephew."
"She was going to murder millions! Right after she was going to lobotomize me!" Finn said. "I have hated myself for what I did, but what I did, I did to ensure the safety of the innocent and to save the lives of my friends!"
"I did not raise you to be a killer!" Minerva cried. "I raised you to be a Helper!"
"And I am a Helper, Mom," Finn said. "Back in Ooo, I use this sword to fight evil monsters and protect innocent lives. All I do back in Ooo is help people, I'm actually kinda famous for it."
"Famous for what exactly? Fighting madmen like the one who kept hitting on me earlier ago? Killing monstrosities like that dog thing you call a friend?" Minerva placed her fists on her hips. "Or executing those you sentence to a beheading?"
"Why do you keep acting like what I went through on Ooo was some awful thing I had to go through?" Finn demanded. "I didn't get sent overseas to fight through Hell, I washed up on the shore of an entire new world to explore. I made friends, I learned magic, I discovered some things about myself that are utterly bizarre. Mom, I found purpose over in Ooo."
"You had purpose here! You have purpose here!" Minerva stated. "Was your own home really not good enough for you?"
"You want me to say it? Fine, I'll say it: No, it wasn't," Finn answered. He tried his best to keep a straight face against his mother's look of heartache. "Nothing ever happens on this island. No one ever needs saving here. All my life, I've wanted to be a Helper like you. But what's the point of being a Helper if there's nobody around that even needs help?"
"Finn. Ooo is not your responsibility," said Minerva. "Founder's Island is, though. Your own people are your responsibility."
"Founder's Island doesn't need me, you and Gross have turned it into a place where nothing bad happens. Where nothing exciting is even allowed to happen," Finn said. "You had my whole life planned out for me since the day I was born. You even had a wife picked out for me. But in Ooo, I finally got to live my own life. I got to make my own name. I know you want to protect me, but you can't keep me in a bubble my whole life. I can take care of myself, and I have."
Finn walked up and took Minerva's hands. "I'm not saying that I hate it here, I never did. I love you, Mom, and I'll always love this island. All I'm asking is for you to accept the choice that I've made, and the life that I want to live."
Minerva tenderly held her son's hand, looking like she was fighting the urge to cry. Then, she released her son's hands and looked away.
"...I designed Founder's Island to be able to give you everything you could ever want and need. To give you a perfect life. And in return, you want nothing to do with it." Minerva miserably hugged her arms and turned away. "I'm sorry, Finn. But…I can't accept your decision."
Finn recoiled in hurt. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how or what to say. So, without another word, Finn turned around and walked away, crossing over the bridge and leaving the control room.
Now alone and by herself, Minerva ran a hand down her face and let the tears fall. On one hand, she regretted designing an android host capable of producing tears. And yet, on the other hand, Minerva felt like she deserved to cry.
Finn sullenly walked down the streets of suburban Founder's Island. It was getting late, and most of the neighborhood residents were either at home or still at work. So Finn pretty much had the sidewalks all to himself.
Memories of a life before Ooo guided his feet as Finn slowly walked down the sidewalk with no set destination in mind. And before Finn knew it, he found himself standing in front of his old house.
Hardly to Finn's surprise, the house hadn't changed in the slightest. A single-story home set atop a wooden surface with ten legs. A brown roof and white walls with a line of windows. Within the fenced square of property there was a single tree in the grass lawn. Finn remembered he used to climb that tree until his mom made him stop. Taking a deep sigh, feeling almost like a ghost returning to the place where it had been murdered, Finn went up the walkway, climbed the stairs, and headed inside.
It was almost like stepping into a dream for Finn. The interior of the house was a mirror of his past just as the exterior had been. Although small, the house was cozy. Wooden flooring, paintings that decorated the walls, and vases and lamps added to the decor, along with the orange, three-person couch.
To Finn's surprise, however, Ice King and Jake were sitting on that couch.
"Jake? Ice King?" Finn blinked. "What are you guys doing here?"
"That Grover guy brought us here," said Jake. "Said you wouldn't mind if we crashed at your old place."
"By the way, is this really the house you grew up in?" IK asked. "Your treehouse is way nicer than this place."
Finn rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks, Simon. So glad you were able to regain consciousness," he said. "Is Grover still here?"
"Yeah, he's in the kitchen." Jake pointed to the kitchen area, where Finn saw Grover using a wooden spoon to mix the contents of a metal cooking bowl. He had taken his hat and coat off, making himself right at home. BMO was sitting at the table and Neptr had rolled up next to BMO's chair.
"I made stroganoff," Grover announced.
"Where's Susan?" Finn asked. "Uh, I mean, Kara?"
"Oh, she went to go see Frieda." Grover chuckled as he opened a cabinet and took out some bowls. "I imagine the two of them have some catching up to do."
"Awwww. Good for Kara," Finn said with a smile.
"And, how did it go with you and your mother?" Grover asked as he poured the food into the bowls.
"Um…" Finn grimaced and looked to the side. "Not great," he confessed.
"Ah." Grover nodded. "I had a feeling Minerva wouldn't quite see things your way." He finished filling the bowls, put a fork in each bowl, and looked over at the two guys on the couch. "Come and get it, boys."
Jake stretched his arms over to the table and took two bowls of stroganoff. He reeled his arms back and offered a bowl to Ice King, who was flipping through the TV channels looking for something to watch.
"Geez, even your shows are all lame, boring, and PG-13 at best," Ice King complained as he flipped through the channels. "It's like searching through the free channels that come with the wifi."
"Well, just leave it on a nature documentary or something," Jake said, offering IK the second bowl.
Grover placed a bowl of stroganoff at either side of the table and sat down to enjoy his meal. He gestured politely for Finn to join him, and Finn sat to eat dinner with the old man and the delusional robot that for some reason thought he could eat stuff with a screen face.
Grover watched BMO attempt to eat for a brief, confused, somewhat entertained moment. "...Eh, listen, Finn," the old man began. "Your mother built Founder's Island into what it is today to give you a world free from strife and harm."
"Yeah, I know how important this island is to her," Finn replied.
"Not as important to her as you are," said Grover. "Above being a Helper, above the entire island itself, you are the most important thing in Minerva's world. She only wants to keep you safe. She only wants to give you a life free from harm."
"She wants me to live the life she laid out for me," Finn said. "And I was okay with that. Until I realized that there was more to the world than the small portion of it that my mom wanted me to stay in for the rest of my life."
Grover looked over at Jake and Ice King on the couch. "The rest of the world has yielded some, eh, remarkable discoveries, I will admit."
"I also met a sweet, little, elephant lady who bakes the best pies ever," said Finn. "Grover, I'm assuming you already guessed this, but I don't plan to stay on Founder's Island. I'm going back to Ooo. I just…" Finn crossed his arms over the table and stared downward. "I want to leave with my mom's blessing. Although, I'm prepared to leave without it. I just want my mom to be proud of who I've decided to become."
"She is proud of you, Finn. Being able to call you her son fills her with tremendous pride," said Grover. "Listen to me, son. Loving you, and taking care of you, keeping you from harm. As your mother, it's difficult for her to simply shut that off."
"I'm not asking her to stop being motherly, I'm just asking her to accept my decision to live my own flippin' life," Finn said. "How can I get her to understand that me choosing to live in Ooo isn't me trying to abandon everything she ever taught me? I'm a Helper in Ooo, and that's what I want to do with my life."
"My advice?" Grover asked. "Just give your mother some time. Perhaps she simply needs to think it over and realize that you're old enough to make your own choices."
"You're more confident about that than I am," Finn said. "You think you could talk to her?"
"Ah, I don't think there's much I could do to help the situation," said Grover. "Best to leave your mother by herself for the time being to think things over."
Ice King, upon hearing this, developed a thoughtful look as he stroked his beard stuffed into his suit. "She's all alone now, huh?" he muttered under his breath.
Finn rubbed his metal and flesh hands together. "...Actually…this might sound crazy, but it might help to get some advice from the number one authority on completely disregarding Founder's Island law and tradition."
Grover's eyebrows lifted. "Finn, my boy, if you're talking about who I think you're talking about, then you should probably reconsider who you ask for vocational advice."
"Well, if nothing else, I should probably pay the old weirdo a visit anyway." Finn finished his food and stood from the table, heading for the door. "Jake, Ice King, I'm heading out to go see my dad." He then noticed that someone was missing. "Wait, where'd Ice King go?"
Jake looked over and just now noticed that IK was gone. "Huh. He was here just a second ago."
"Oh my Glob–I'm not dealing with this," Finn said tiredly. "Grover, if you hear about people getting frozen or barely legal girls getting kidnapped, tell the Seekers to be on the lookout for a blue hairy guy dressed like a millionaire. I'll be back in a bit."
Finn headed out the door. Helper Grover came over and sat down next to Jake.
"You know any good channels to watch?" Jake asked.
"Press six on the remote, there's a cooking show that should be playing at this hour," Grover replied.
"Alright, now we're talking."
The door opened and Ice King stumbled into the AI control room. "Grod, you'd think she was trying to keep people out with how hard the door was to open." The mad wizard recomposed himself before stepping up to the pool of water that surrounded the main terminal. The bridge was gone, but instead of being deterred, Ice King simply walked onto the pool, freezing the water with every step he took.
Petrikov reached the center platform, where the Minerva-bot was standing stock-still next to the screen. From his experience with Bubblegum and her robot copies, Ice King could tell that the robot was devoid of Minerva's actual consciousness.
IK approached the screen and the robot and cleared his throat. "Eh, pardon me, Mrs. Finn's Mom?"
The computer came to life and Minerva appeared, looking agitated on the screen. "Grover, I know you want to help, but I wish to be–what the?"
Ice King smiled and waved his hand. "Hi."
Minerva frowned in irritation. "Oh, it's you again. Finn's fancy frost magician friend."
"Call me Ice King. Or IK. Or Chixdigme800, I also go by my pen name," said Ice King. "Your name's Minerva, right? I'm pretty sure that's what the old guy called you."
"Finn called you Simon…Petrikov, correct?" Minerva asked.
"Never heard that name before in my life," said IK. "Except for a few times in my life. Not entirely sure why some people call me that."
"...Right," said Minerva. "Well, Mr. Petrikov–I refuse to call you by your pen name…what do you want?"
"Hoo, boy. Gettin' a little nervous, give me a sec." Ice King cleared his throat and smoothed out his suit. "Mrs. Finn's Mom,"
"Campbell," Minerva corrected. "Dr. Campbell, thank you very much."
"Right, right, right, sorry." Ice King twiddled his fingers. "...Would you like to go on a date with me?"
"You're too kind," Minerva replied flatly. "But no, not a chance in holy hell."
"You could've just said no, I don't see any reason to be mean about it," Ice King muttered. "Come on, I got all dressed up for you and everything. I seriously crossed the ocean on a ship with no bathroom just to meet you," he begged. "Let me take you out on one date, and if you have a bad time, I'll leave you alone, I promise… Well, actually, I probably won't. I'm, like, notoriously bad at taking a hint. I'm insanely oblivious to rejection, it's sort of my whole shtick along with the crazy and the ice."
"Listen, eh, Ice King," said Minerva. "You seem…I'm not going to finish that sentence, but as established by my divorce, I have a policy against letting hairy weirdos talk me into going out with them."
"So, what I'm hearing is…" IK gave Minerva a cheeky grin. "You have a type?"
"Minerva-bot," Minerva commanded. "Tase him and get him out of here."
"Minerva-bot, Banana Guards, Minerva-bot, Banana Guards," Ice King grumbled. "Why do I gravitate toward these kinds of relationships?"
The Minerva-bot's hand extended into a taser and the android stepped toward Ice King.
"No, wait! Not the taser again! I still can't feel the left side of my face!" Ice King quickly ran and jumped onto the water, creating a small patch of ice for him to stand on. IK smugly crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at the robot.
"Ha-ha! Robots hate water!" He mocked. "Try to tase me now!"
The Minerva-bot calmly stepped onto the water without any issue.
"Oh, right. I literally saw her do that earlier ago." Ice King cried out in alarm as the Mineva-bot chased him across the pool, ice forming in front of IK wherever he ran so he could traverse across the water as easily as the Minerva-bot. Minerva watched in slight amusement, but mostly in annoyance, as the Minerva-bot chased Ice King in random circles across the pool of water.
"Come on, just give me a chance!" Ice King cried. "I can read you my fanfiction, I'm honestly really good at it! I can freeze any of the people you hate in a block of ice! Lethal or nonlethal, you just name it! I can tell you all about where I'm from if you're interested–AHH, why does this robot run so fast?!"
A curious look suddenly formed on Minerva's face. After giving it some thought, Minerva let out a sigh. "Minerva-bot. Halt."
The android immediately stopped, standing stiff and still on the water. Ice King stopped running and looked at the robot curiously before looking over at Minerva's screen.
Minerva's hand beckoned on the screen. "Come."
The Minerva-bot returned to the main terminal. Ice King stood there on his frozen surface, wondering at why he hadn't been tased yet.
"You as well," Minerva ordered.
Ice King blinked, then walked back to Minerva's screen. The Island Leader stared at the confused Ice King like she was trying to think of a reason to tase him that outweighed her reason to do what she was considering doing next.
"You are from this…Ooo country, yes?" Minerva asked. "The same place my son, Finn, found himself after getting lost at sea?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure," IK replied. "I've lived in Ooo for centuries. Uh, but, but I'm not that old, I swear."
"And…you are familiar with the…prevalence and customs of your country?" Minerva asked.
"Yeah, of course," said IK. "I don't know what 'prevalence' means, but, yeah."
Minerva rolled her eyes. "Can you and are you willing to divulge the tales of Finn's escapades in Ooo with me? The things he's done. The people he has become associated with. Everything that Finnegan is and isn't willing to share with his mother?"
"Hoo, boy, that would be a serious violation of the bro code," Ice King said nervously. "...But…" He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. "It would be totally worth it to get a date with you, Miss Hot and Blonde."
"Tread carefully, you are in the taser zone," Minerva warned.
"Yes, Ma'am," IK replied fearfully. "...So…did I get that date?"
On the screen, Minerva groaned miserably and rubbed her temples. She looked at Ice King with the look of someone who knew they were about to do something they would regret.
"If I agree to a date with you, in return, I want you to tell me everything about my son's time in Ooo," Minerva demanded. "Down to the last detail that you can. Do we have a deal?"
"YES!" Ice King recomposed himself, but couldn't get rid of his grin. "I mean…yes."
The Minerva-bot's hand extended into a flash drive and she inserted it into the computer. Once Minerva's consciousness had been downloaded into the android, she crossed her arms and faced the Ice King with a frown.
"Two things," said Minerva. "I don't like plays, and I don't like loud concerts."
"I can work with that." Ice King grinned and offered for Minerva to take his arm. "M'lady."
"I'm also not touching you."
"Okay, that's fine. I'm clean, though, I promise," said Ice King. "But I do moisturize with penguin's milk. It gives my skin that cold and clammy quality that one would expect from a sorcerer of snow who lives in an ice cave."
Minerva sighed. "Well, if nothing else, you're far more honest than Martin ever was." She headed for the exit. "Let's get this over with."
The Holding Cells. A dreary, gray, rectangle brick of a concrete building with barred windows, surrounded by a tall, electric fence that sparked and flashed with visible bolts of incapacitation and pain. A place where Hiders and other criminals were held either for life or just until they were put into the re-education program. After everything he had been through, Finn loathed the sight of the building more than ever.
The place was guarded by a platoon of Seekers. Finn approached the pair of Seekers guarding the gate entrance. The Seekers recognized Finn on sight, and figured there was only one reason why the prodigy child of the Island would return to the Holding Cells. The gates swung open and they let Finn through, allowing him entry into prison.
A Minerva-bot led Finn through the starch-white halls and past the cells holding the various assortment of prisoners. Every now and then, Finn would pass by a Seeker who would bow to him or salute him and welcome him home. Finn made his way down the stairs, leaving the Minerva-bot behind, to the lower level of the prison. Eventually, he found the cell that he was looking for.
The cell that held the infamous Martin Mertens.
His long, dark blonde beard seemed to have grown just a little longer since Finn had last seen him, though his head was still bald. He was a stout man who might've looked more attractive when he was younger (but still made Finn scared for what he might look like in the future). He wore a one-piece, black and white, striped suit that all of the prisoners of the Holding Cells wore.
Despite everything, or perhaps because of everything, seeing his father again brought a smile to Finn's face. Martin didn't notice his son on the other side of the bars at first. Laying on his small bed, he was too busy playing with a stone, tossing it up in the air and catching it.
"Hey, Dad."
"W-what?" Martin fell off of his bed and fell onto the stone floor. On his hands and knees, he looked past the bars and saw Finn. Upon seeing his son, Martin's eyes went wide and his jaw hung on its hinges.
"Finn? Finn, is that you?" Martin got onto his feet and came up to the bars. A big grin grew on his face upon realizing that it was really his son who had come to see him again.
"It is you!" Martin cheered. He reached through the bars and took hold of Finn's hands. "You're back! And…you're okay." He frowned when he noticed that one of Finn's hands was made of metal. "...Well, at least most of you was able to get back safely."
"Yeah, good to see you too, Dad." Finn pulled his hands away. "How have the Holding Cells been treatin' ya?"
"Hey, now that you're back, I won't have to deal with this place for much longer!" Martin exclaimed. "Your mom promised to get me out of here and put me through re-education once you came back!"
"She did?" Finn asked. "...That explains why you're happy to see me again."
"Hey, kiddo, come on," said Martin. "You oughta know that I care about your well-being."
"Either of the times you almost got me killed by the Guardian says otherwise," Finn replied.
"So, when did you get back?" Martin asked, attempting to change the subject as if almost getting your son killed twice was no big deal.
"Earlier today, actually," Finn said. "I already talked to Mom and stuff."
"Well, I appreciate you going out of your way to see your old man," said Martin. "I figure there's still a whole bunch of other people who would want to see for themselves that you're back, safe and sound."
"About that." Finn sighed and ran a hand down his face. "...I…actually came here to…ask for your advice."
Martin blinked in surprise. "...Really?"
"Yeah, I can't believe I'm doing this either," Finn said. "But…well, it's a long story."
And so Finn gave his dad the short version of that story, leaving out some of the harder-to-explain parts of his experience in Ooo. And, of course, he didn't mention anything about Marceline or Flame Princess, or the wizard who now owned his soul. Because, you know, nobody wants to have that talk with their dad. Once Finn was done, Martin seemed at a loss for words, which for once, Finn didn't want from him.
"...Wow," Martin said. "I mean, just…wow."
"And you wanna know the craziest part?" Finn asked. "I love it over there in Ooo. It's awesome. Having such cool friends, getting to save people all the time, being more of a Helper there than I ever could here. It's not Founder's Island, it's not what Mom ever had in mind for me, it's…it's…" Finn smiled. "It's something more."
"Finn, kiddo, everyone gets the feeling from time to time that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence," Martin said. "I mean, heck, back before I met your mom, I used to dream about what my life might be like if I were a cosmic space traveler. Getting into one alien shenanigans after another. Heh, can you imagine?"
"This is different, Dad, this is real, this is the opportunity I don't want to let go of," Finn said. "And, it's what I want to do with my life."
"But, let me guess," said Martin. "Your mom ain't on board with that idea."
"No." Finn hung his head. "No, she's not."
Martin nodded. "Yeah, that's your mom for ya. She was always the smart one, but never really much of a risk-taker. Then again, sometimes I wish I had taken a note from her book."
"Yeah, so do I," Finn replied bitterly. "Look, Dad, I can't believe I'm asking this, but…what do you think I should do? And please, please, give me a sincere answer."
Martin looked to the side. To Finn's relief, he seemed to be giving it some thought. And it took him a while to reply. Finn actually grew somewhat impatient as he waited for his father to say something.
"...Before I met your mom…everything I ever did, I did for myself," Martin finally said. "And…it was a terrible way to live. When I met your mom, someone whose every action was intended to help others…it was the greatest thing that could ever happen to a swindler like me. It was more than I deserved."
Martin looked at his son. "You don't take after me. And I know you and your mom both are grateful for that. Don't sweat it, you oughta be. You take after your mom. Always trying to help people. Always doing all that you can to make sure no one gets hurt."
"Is this the part where you tell me that all I'm trying to do is help people or something, so it's okay?" Finn asked.
"Nah. This is the part where I tell you that your motives aren't as pure as you might think."
Finn blinked. "Huh?"
Martin shrugged. "I'm sorry, kid, but what you gotta realize is that saints don't exist. Monsters, sure, but saints? Well, let me know if you ever actually meet one. Even the best of us have the occasional moments of selfishness. Take your mom, for example. She's got the biggest heart on this island and she's dedicated to helping people like the sun is dedicated to glowing. But wanting you to stay on the island. Wanting you to live out the life she wants you to live. Is that because she wants you to live a safe and happy life? Or is it because she doesn't want to let you go?"
"Uh…both, maybe?" Finn answered. "But that's hardly selfish."
"But still just a little bit selfish. Believe me, I know selfish. I was my whole deal before I met your mom," Martin said. "And how about you, kiddo? Do you want to live the rest of your life in Ooo because you like that you can help people there? Or do you like Ooo because it's more of a joyride for you than this island ever was?"
"Dad, I get what you're saying," Finn said. "I just think you're saying it the wrong way."
"What I'm saying is that everybody is at least a little selfish from time to time. So you gotta stop trying to make sure no one gets hurt, because that's impossible," Martin said. "No matter what decision is made, there's always gonna be someone who feels like they got the short end of the pineapple. I've been to enough court trials to figure that out. Everybody's got at least one selfish bone in their body, and everybody in the world wants something out of life. Maybe a good guy like you only gets selfish for about a minute or two once a leap year. But in that minute, you're allowed to make the decision of what you want out of life."
"Even if it means someone has to get hurt by that decision?" Finn asked. "Someone I love?"
"Finn. All your mom ever wanted for you was to live a good life as a good person. And all I ever wanted was to make sure you didn't turn out like me. Seems to me like we both got what we wanted for you," said Martin. "Now you get the privilege to be just a little selfish for just a little bit. Go back to Ooo or stay on the Island, it's your call, and no one else's. I'm not telling you to go back any more than I'm telling you to stay. All I'm saying is that you're putting way too much thought into this. You're trying way too hard to make sure you're doing the right thing. Fact is, kid…there ain't no right or wrong answer to this. There's just...you're answer to this."
Finn stared at his father for a few seconds, taking into consideration his advice. He folded his hands together and stared down at the floor with a conflicted look on his face.
"...It was good to see you again, Dad." Finn turned and walked away from Martin's cell. "I'll…I'll see you later…maybe."
"Bye, son!" Martin waved his hand through the bar at Finn. "And, uh, maybe remind your mom about her letting me out of here next time you see her, yeah?"
As Finn walked away, Shoko appeared by his side, keeping pace with him as they headed for the exit.
"He's right," said Shoko. "And you know it."
Finn sighed. "He finally gives me some good advice, and that's it."
"Eh, you wanna know what the best bit of advice my dad gave me?" Shoko asked.
"Is the answer, like, super depressing?" Finn asked.
"Oh, very much so, yes."
Minerva stared out across the ocean as the wind gently blew against her lab coat. She had her arms crossed and her brow furrowed, continuing to debate with herself on whether or not she should have agreed to this.
"I'm back!"
Minerva turned around and saw that Ice King had returned. He walked onto the beach with a picnic basket in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other, a big, sharky smile on his face.
"I hope you paid for that stuff," said Minerva.
"I paid for it in diamonds," Ice King said. "Diamonds made of ice. Ice is valuable on this island, right?"
Minerva sighed. "Okay then, Simon. What exactly did you have planned for our…date. I hesitate to even call it that."
Ice King handed Minerva the bouquet of roses, who accepted the flowers with a roll of her eyes. He set the picnic basket down and rubbed his hands together before aiming them at the ground. A small geyser of snow blew from his hands and collected into a rectangle until the snow and frost formed into a magic carpet floating above the sand.
Minerva's eyes widened. "...Huh."
"Yeah, we're doing this Aladdin style." Ice King twirled his fingers at Minerva and a small flurry of snow surrounded her. Before she could figure out what was going on, her regular attire was covered by a beautiful blue and white dress made of frost and ice. Minerva stared down at her new appearance in surprise.
"...Not really my color." Minerva ran her hands down the garment. "But, still a neat trick, Mr. Snowman."
Ice King picked the basket back up and hopped onto the magic snow carpet. With the barest ghost of a smile, Minerva followed the mad wizard onto the carpet with him.
"And awaaaaay we go!"
IK flew the carpet skyward, carrying him and Minerva high up into the air. With a bird's eye view of Founder's Island, Ice King flew the carpet over the sea, driving the carpet on cruise control on a scenic route around the Island.
Minerva gawked at the sight below her. Seeing the island like this was a truly beautiful sight. She never thought she would ever see Founder's Island like this.
"Wow," Minerva breathed. "I'll give you this, Petrikov: You picked a good scene for a date."
"Isn't it?" Ice King asked. "Hey, give me a minute, there's something I wanna do real quick. This won't take long, I promise."
IK pulled out his phone and typed in a number before holding it up to his ear. "...Hey. Hey, Finn. Guess what I'm doing right now… Go ahead, guess… Come on, guess… I'm on a date with your mom right now! Like, right now…! Yeah, I absolutely am! I told you I'd get that date! You didn't think I would, but I did! And she says we're having a good time!"
"I never actually said that," said Minerva.
"You still don't believe me? She's right here, you wanna talk to her and ask her yourself?" Ice King offered Minerva his phone. "Here, tell Finn that you and I are really on a date."
"Ice King, your phone is a bread roll."
"Ooo, bread roll." IK shoved the whole roll into his mouth and ate it in just a few bites.
Minerva stared at Ice King in bewilderment. "...You know, I offer therapy sessions if you're interested."
"You really think I need therapy?" IK asked.
"I'm pretty sure everyone thinks you need therapy," said Minerva. "So, Simon, about your country."
"Hold on," said Ice King. "I still haven't done that really awesome thing for you that I was gonna do."
"I already told you, you're not touching me."
"What? No. I meant this." Ice King lowered the flying carpet closer to the sea before stopping the carpet over the water. IK stood up on the frost carpet and rubbed his hands together, preparing for his spell. He aimed his palms at the ocean below and let fire a torrent of blue lightning. It froze the seawater and the ice continued to travel upward, forming into a thirty-foot-tall ice sculpture.
Minerva's eyes widened in awe as Ice King created a giant ice sculpture in her flawless likeness, standing in a regal pose like someone offering their blessing.
Minerva's mouth hung agape as she stared in awe at the sculpture. "...Woah."
"And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly, for an ice guy." Ice King's face lit up and he took out a tape recorder. "Idea for an AMV. The song 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy' featuring a bunch of clips of me. Heh-heh, I'm a Glob-damn genius."
"Your tape recorder is a brownie."
"Ooo, a brownie." Ice King sat back down on the carpet and shoved the brownie in his mouth. "Mmm." He reached back into the picnic basket. "I think there was a jar of peanut butter in here."
"Eh, Simon, I very much appreciate the ice statue. Really, it was the most incredible thing that a guy has ever done for me. And I once went on a date with a man who paid for our meal with a large ruby he kept in his boot," Minerva said. "But, would you be so kind as to tell me about your country? About Ooo? About everything that Finn has done in Ooo?"
"Sure." Ice King leaned back on his arms. "Watcha wanna know?"
"Well, for starters," Minerva pointed down at the ice sculpture of her that IK had made. "Are there…other wizards in Ooo such as yourself?"
"Yeah, of course. I go to freakin' Wizard City all the time. There's a school that teaches wizardry, it's honestly a respected profession," Ice King said. "I mean, heck, Finn knows a little bit of ice magic. He read a book I gave him on fridjitzu and he can, like, throw ice ninja stars and stuff. I was kinda disappointed he didn't show you any of his stuff."
Minerva grimaced. "...Uh-huh. Ooo is…quite the hazardous environment, isn't it?"
"Eh, depends on the place." Ice King pulled a sandwich out of the picnic basket. "I mean, sure, I wouldn't recommend going to the Fire Kingdom to get your tan on, but the Candy Kingdom is always fun."
"What is that, an amusement park?" Minerva asked.
"No, it's a kingdom inhabited by adorable little candy people," said Ice King. "All led by Princess Bubblegum. I know her name makes her sound harmless, but she's actually got sort of a Frankenstein vibe going on. Real sweet girl, don't get me wrong. We used to date–don't ask anyone to validate that."
Minerva raised an eyebrow questioningly. "How many of these wacky kingdoms are there?"
"Oh, a whole bunch." IK counted on his fingers. "The Breakfast Kingdom–awesome frittatas, the Slime Kingdom–yes, it's really gross there, the Wildberry Kingdom–don't go shopping there unless you've got the money to burn, I myself rule over the Ice Kingdom. You like penguins? And snow? And polar bears?"
"...Uhhhhh…" Minerva cleared her throat. "Perhaps you could tell me more about these, eh, lady friends of Finn's that the dog mentioned?"
"Hoo, geez, freakin' which one?" Ice King munched on his sandwich. "Nearly every single one of the princesses, and every fangirl from the Duchy of Nuts to the Cloud Kingdom, is crushing hard on Finn."
"Is that a fact?" Minerva asked curiously, a smile forming on her face. "Any serious girlfriends?"
"Well, he went out with Marceline for a while," said IK. "And they seemed to hit it off pretty good."
"Marceline?" Minerva asked.
"The Vampire Queen, yeah," said IK. "Immortal, goth, vampire rockstar. Utterly terrifying when you get her mad, but still pretty cool as a person."
"Marceline the Vampire… never mind," said Minerva. "Any others?"
"Yeah, there was Flame Princess for a little bit," Ice King said. "They made a really cute couple."
"Flame Princess?"
"I think her real name is Phoebe, but yeah, she's made of fire," said Ice King. "Literally. She's literally made of fire. Like, imagine a fire, and imagine that fire forming into the shape of a girl. Do that, and you've got yourself one of Finn's exes. She doesn't really like me much, it's this whole thing between us."
"...That would explain the damage done to his lungs," Minerva commented. "So, just those two? The vampire and the living fire?"
"Well, from what I can tell, there were some sparks flying between Finn and Princess Bubblegum, but he respected the bro code enough not to make a move on her," said Ice King. "Oh, and he's totally been hitting on the Huntress Wizard."
"The…what now?" Minerva asked. "Another wizard like yourself?"
"Not like me, she's more of the outdoors, environmentalist kind of wizard. And honestly, she scares me way more than Finn's vampire squeeze ever did," IK said. "She's actually the one who owns Finn's soul."
"Wait, you mean literally?!" Minerva asked. "I thought Finn was being metaphorical! For like, a betrothal or something!"
"No, she seriously owns his soul now, it's how he paid for that boat," said Ice King. "I tried to warn the dummy, but he just kept going back to her. In Finn's defense, she is kinda hot in, like, an athletic sort of way, I guess. Hardly my type though–despite that one time I kidnapped her and tried to force her into loving me against her will which was an action that I regretted almost immediately after. Those freakin' Nymphs, let me tell ya: notorious seducers."
"What in the name of the…" Minerva ran a hand down her face. "What does Finn even do over in Ooo?"
"What does he do?" IK asked. "He's like, Ooo's favorite hero."
"What exactly does that even mean?" Minerva asked tiredly.
"He saves people, like, all the stinkin' time," IK explained. "He rescues princesses, normally from me, on a weekly basis."
Minerva blinked. "He…saves people?" she asked. "That's his entire career?"
"Yeah, it's like, his whole thing," IK said. "I mean, flippin' Glob, he was able to stop two kingdoms from going to war. Thanks to him, that flippin' Gross chick didn't murder all of us! All you ever hear about around town is how 'Finn saved this person' or how 'Finn saved those people.' Stopping thieves, beating on bad guys, fighting monsters so they don't eat innocent villagers. He's popular in every part of Ooo, everyone loves that guy and appreciates his work! You wouldn't believe how many people would be dead right now if Finn hadn't been there to save them."
Minerva stared at Ice King for a long time. Then, her gaze focused on the setting horizon, where the western-bound, setting sun was beginning its slow plummet.
"...He became a Helper," Minerva summed up. "I…I did not realize the…extent of his new career." Minerva closed her eyes. "I did not realize…he was telling me the truth."
Ice King shrugged "Can't imagine why he would lie to you," he said. "Look, I can vouch for him: All Finn ever flippin' does is help people. I love the guy, but he's kind of a workaholic with that stuff. But, like…isn't that what you wanted? For Finn to, like, go into the family business?"
Minerva ran her hands down her face. "...I never wanted to keep Finn from being a Helper," she said. "All I ever wanted was to protect him. To keep him safe."
"Seriously?" IK asked. "You know that guy once got stabbed through the guts with a sword that was on fire, right?"
"What?!" Minerva almost screamed.
"Yeah, he was put into the infirmary and everything. All the princesses sent him get-well cards and stuff," IK said. "But to everyone's surprise, he pulled through with nothing but a badass scar."
Minerva let out a groan as she ran her hands through her hair. "...I'm assuming you're trying to tell me that I don't need to keep my son safe?"
"The fact that he survived his two girlfriends should be enough to tell you how tough that guy is," said IK. "Trust me, you don't need to worry about Finn."
"He is my SON!" Minerva exclaimed. "It is my job to worry about him!"
"Hey, I get that. I worry about my Gunter all the time, too," Ice King said. "But I trust him enough to go and do his own thing. I think he even started a book club with the other penguins."
Minerva looked at Ice King. A hard light shone in her eyes. "You're saying that I don't trust my own son?"
"I mean…" Ice King made an apologetic grimace. "Do you? 'Cause, he was super nervous about having to tell you about his Ooo life."
Minerva looked back toward the setting sun. It was hard to read the look on her face as she sat there in contemplation.
"...Thank you for this, Simon. This was…a surprisingly nice evening. And, I…am glad that we had this talk." Minerva turned her head to look at Ice King. "But now…I think I would like to speak with my son. Would you be so kind as to take me to him?"
"Sure thing." Ice King placed his hands on the carpet. "Hang on."
"To what, exactly?" Minerva asked.
"You could hang on to me," Ice King suggested with a grin.
"I told you, I'm not–"
"Not touching me, yeah, I know." Ice King flew the carpet back over the island. "It was worth a shot."
Finn walked down the sidewalk back to his house, hands stuffed into his pockets as he thought things over. Shoko walked right beside him, her yellow eyes checking out her surroundings.
"Man, I wish I could've grown up in such a nice place," the green-skinned girl commented.
"Yeah, yeah, your life was really terrible, especially compared to mine," said Finn. "Listen, Shoko, maybe you're the first person I should've asked this, but…what do you think I should do?"
"Whatever you want to do," Shoko replied. "You keep acting like every single person on the face of the earth is your responsibility, but they're not. Face it, your dad was right: you're allowed to choose your own life. Me personally: you have much more of a tasteful and unique variety of women back in Ooo."
"Of course that's part of your argument," Finn said tiredly.
"Alright, look," said Shoko. "We both know you don't want to stay here. And I get that the last thing you wanna do is break your mom's heart. But what other option is there? If your mom doesn't like it, then you shouldn't have to sacrifice your own happiness for hers."
"Look, I'm going back to Ooo, that hasn't changed," Finn said. "I just want my mom to accept that. Is that really too much to ask?"
"It's not too much of you to ask," said Shoko. "But it might be too much for your mom to give. My mom never gave me a damn thing, so, forgive my pessimism."
Finn let out a sigh. He finally reached his house and walked up to the front door. "Whatever happens, is just going to have to happen, I guess."
"Finn!"
Startled, Finn looked up and saw, to his surprise and confusion, Ice King and his mom–wearing a blue and white dress that really wasn't her color–flying down from the sky on a magic carpet that was the same color as Minerva's dress. Ice King landed the carpet on the front lawn. Minerva got off and walked up to Finn.
Finn just stared for a minute before saying anything. "...I am terrified to ask where you've been."
Ice King grinned and gave Finn and thumbs-up.
"Finn–nothing happened, by the way...we need to talk." Minerva looked over her shoulder at IK. "Alone."
"You got it, Gorgeous."
"Stop calling me that," Minerva ordered. "Just go inside, and don't freeze anything."
"Sure thing, my princess." Ice King hopped off the carpet, which collapsed into a pile of snow without him on it, and he headed on inside. "I'ma take a shower in your bathroom, it's been a while since I've bathed."
After Ice King went inside, Finn and his mom looked at each other.
"He's not going to…freeze the pipes or anything, is he?" Minerva asked.
"I'm not sure, really. Maybe," said Finn. "By the way, him calling you his 'princess' is actually a huge red flag, so be careful and keep that taser ready."
"Duly noted." Minerva took a breath and released a sigh. "...Finn…about your new job."
"Look, Mom, I love you, okay? But I can't stay here," Finn stated, looking like it hurt to do so. "I'm sorry, but I made a promise. I can't abandon Ooo, not after everything that Ooo has given me. This island will always have a place in my heart, but I've invested so much in Ooo. It's…it's home now."
Minerva sat down on the steps. She patted the spot next to her, and Finn sat down beside his mom.
Minerva folded her hands together as she stared out across the road. "...Nothing scares a mother more…than the thought of something bad happening to her child."
"I'm not a child anymore, Mom," Finn said.
Minerva closed her eyes and nodded. "I know, Finn. But, please, see this from my perspective. When the Pandemic struck, I was horrified by the idea of you getting infected, and to my utter relief, I was able to get you off Hub Island before the virus could get you. And when your father almost got you killed, I sat on the beach with a broken heart, thinking that you were gone for good. And when I saw you floating back to me on that piece of driftwood, the joy I felt was indescribable."
"Is it true that you almost killed Dad that day?" Finn asked.
"Oh, I would have if Kara hadn't pulled me off of him." Minerva looked over at Finn. "And, when I lost you again, right before you were about to start your schooling…I lost you again. And, once more…I was left fearing for your life."
Finn looked away sadly. "I'm sorry I put you through that, Mom," he said softly.
"It wasn't your fault, sweetheart, I know that, and you should too." Minerva placed her hand on Finn's shoulder. "Listen. I never wanted to control your life. I just wanted to keep your life safe and stable. But…you can take care of yourself now. I have to accept that…" Minerva smiled sadly. "you don't need me anymore."
"What?" Finn blinked. "Mom, I'll always want you to be a part of my life."
"Your life. Not the one I chose for you," said Minerva. "You're old enough to make your own decisions. You're strong enough to go on your own journey."
Finn stared at his mother. "Are you…are you saying you're okay with me moving to Ooo?"
"Am I entirely comfortable with my son living in some kind of crazy, fairytale world filled with weird mutants, desperate wizards, and about a hundred other different anomalies, be they scientific or mythological? I am not, no," Minerva confessed. "What I'm saying, Finn, is that…I will make an attempt to become comfortable with it. For you."
Minerva raised her hand and gently caressed Finn's cheek with her thumb. "I love you, Finn. And I want you to be happy. I have faith in your abilities, and I trust you to go out and forge your own future."
"You really mean it, Mom?" Finn asked.
"Of course, sweetheart," Minerva replied. "I'm sorry that Founder's Island couldn't give you all that your potential demanded. You go on ahead and show the entire world exactly who you are."
Finn smiled happily and joyfully embraced his mother, hugging and holding her tightly. Minerva smiled as well and returned the hug, holding her baby boy close to her.
"Thanks, Mom," Finn said.
"You're welcome, sweetie," Minerva replied. "Oh, by the way, you and I need to have a discussion about that girl who owns your soul."
"Oh my Glob, please tell me Ice King didn't tell you about her," Finn begged.
"Her. And Marceline. And Phoebe," Minerva listed off. "And some girl called the Bubblegum Princess?"
"Ah, geez, why did he have to come?" Finn complained as he and Minerva ended the hug. "I didn't want to bring him, I swear."
Minerva chuckled. "...So…" She smiled sadly. "I assume you'll be heading back to Ooo soon?"
Finn's smile dimmed a bit. "Well, I mean…I don't see why I couldn't stick around for just a little bit longer," he said. "I'm sure Ooo will be fine without me for just a little bit longer."
"Release me."
"Wenk."
"I said release me," the voice demanded. "Free me from this prison, mighty Orgalorg. And in return, I can restore you to your full power."
Gunter stared up at the giant block of ice. Deep down in the cold prison that held the Lich, the penguin wasn't at all affected by the chill in the air. He tilted his head curiously at the giant, frozen cube that continued to grow as it continued to melt, caught in an endless stalemate between the crystals' magic and the prisoner's powers.
"Wenk."
"Think about it," the voice tempted. "The power of a god, the power to destroy entire worlds, at your full disposal. Free me from my prison, and I swear in the name of GOLB, I shall set you free of your prison."
Gunter blinked again. "Wenk."
"The penguins shall be the first to die upon my escape!"
Gunter narrowed his eyes angrily and held his bundle of dynamite away from the giant block of ice. "Wenk!"
"...I apologize for my outburst, mighty Orgalorg," the voice said. "But please. I beg of you. Free me from this mortifying imprisonment. You know of your master, my warden. Can you not understand my desire to be free of that lunatic's cage?"
Gunter thought it over, then bobbed his head in a manner that suggested he couldn't help but agree.
"Indeed," said the voice. "Free me, Orgalorg. And in return, all of your questions, I can answer. All of those mysteries, I can solve for you."
Gunter stared down at the floor, thinking it over.
"Well? What will it be?" the voice asked. "A chance to restore yourself to who you really are? Or a return to an eternity of ignorance?"
Gunter held his bundle of dynamite in front of him in his flippers. He stared up at the ice, wondering if doing this would even be worth it.
And, yet…not knowing who he really was…and being so close to the answers that plagued his mind.
Gunter did a penguin's version of a sigh and walked up to the ice. He set the dynamite down in front of the ice, pushing it up against the large cube, and took out a match.
"Yes," the voice growled.
With an unsure look on his face, Gunter stared at the match in his flipper. Then, deciding that he was beyond the point of no return, he lit the match and set the fuse alight before quickly waddling away to a safe distance.
KABOOM!
The explosion shook the whole room with a deafening roar. When the smoke cleared, Gunter waddled back into the room and examined his handiwork.
There was now a long crack running down the front face of the cube of ice from top to bottom. Gunter looked like he immediately regretted his discussion, but to his relief, the crack was already beginning to heal, starting at both ends and making its way to the center of the crack.
A skeletal fist covered in green flames burst through the crack before it could heal all the way.
The penguin did it.
And now you all have to wait a while for the final chapter.