Chapter 2

Abby woke up unsure of what had happened. Quiet was the room she was in, the soft couch underneath her body softer than what she was used to. She dragged her hand along the smooth fabric. Unable to pinpoint her location, she opened her eyes and sat up on the couch coming face to face with tired-looking Marcus leaning against the desk opposite the couch, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"What happened?" asked Abby as she rubbed her eyes; groggy and disorientated.

"You fell asleep," Marcus replied not meeting her eyes. His hand fumbled with the hem of his ripped sweater. His shoulders slumped.

Abby looked at him quizzically. Confused. The last thing she remembered was standing next to the bowl full of their names. Then she felt dizzy. After that, it all faded to black. A realization hit her. She gasped and looked at him, her eyes piercing a hole in his skull, but he didn't dare to look up.

"What have you done, Marcus?" she stood up and walked over to the window overlooking the main area, a floor below. She gripped the windowsill and took a long look at Kane who stood still, his quietness worried her. She peered out the window at the room full of their people. Some still asleep, others were waking up even more confused than she was just minutes ago. Sky people, as some called them, almost all of them, at least what remained of them. She recognized some Trikru members amongst them but there were no more than a hundred of them. All the others were people from the ark. She bit her lip and took a last look at the people below them. Then, she turned around and leaned against the window, her eyes landed on Marcus who stared at the spot on the floor between them. Unable to meet her eyes, his attention focused solely on the ground.

"What have you done, Marcus?" she repeated and moved towards him trying to get his attention as his eyes avoided her. She stopped in front of him, reached out with her hand, and placed it on his shoulder, startling him. The unexpected contact took him out of his daze, he lifted his head and met her eyes for the first time since she woke up. His eyes were full of tears.

In one swift motion, Abby wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tightly. A familiar scent overwhelmed her. He sighed welcoming her touch and enveloped her in his arms, gathering her to him. Holding her for dear life, clutching her shirt in his fists. Unable to let go, he stood there just holding her, needing to ground himself and find his way back from his dark thoughts.

As time passed, Abby's mind started to clear and suspicion of what had happened started forming in her mind. Things that she couldn't voice, didn't want to verbalize. Things, she needed to hear from him.

"I had to kill them," Marcus finally said, breaking the silence, his voice muffled by her hair.

"Kill whom?"

"The other clans. I couldn't sacrifice our people again. Not this time." Abby's eyes widened and her hand that was caressing his back stopped mid-movement, listening intently to his words. "They didn't have the skills; we'd never have peace. It would have been a bloodbath, at least for the first few months. If we allowed all the other clans in— Warriors— I couldn't do it—" his voice broke. As he choked back his tears, he gathered her to him, not wanting to let her go.

Abby was quiet for a minute unsure of what to say, allowing him to compose himself.

"How many did we save?" she broke the silence.

"Some 400 of ours and about 100 of Trikru that were helping us inside the bunker." He swallowed hard. "We couldn't find Indra or Octavia."

"Clarke?" Abby asked with a lump in her throat dreading the answer.

"She's safe." Abby relaxed. "They didn't make it back in time but they're safe in Becca's lab. Clarke called but we lost the signal. She'll call once the signal is back up again."

Before, when Abby decided that she didn't deserve to survive, she made her peace with never seeing her daughter again. But now, she was still alive, and knowing that she wouldn't be able to see Clarke for the next five years was excruciating. Her stomach tied in a tight knot at the mere thought.

A knock on the door took them out of their thoughts and they both jumped in surprise. Marcus finally let her go, he released his grip on her, allowing her to take a step back.

"Enter," said Marcus, his poker face back on. The door opened.

"Sir, I think it's time, they're all awake now," said Miller Senior. Marcus scanned his face carefully. If they were to use the list, Miller Senior would have had been dead by now. Marcus didn't quite know how to feel with all of this. He swallowed hard.

"Right," he sighed and got off the desk he was perching on. He looked at Abby and she nodded in response, understanding him without a word. Kane smiled weakly and walked out the door with Abby following a few steps behind.

"These coming days will be difficult, incredibly difficult for all of us. We will need everyone's hands on deck. We will be tired and overworked, exhausted and desperate but we will succeed…"

Abby tried to focus on Marcus' voice as he was giving his speech, but her focus kept drifting away. She stood behind him, hidden in the shadows, trying to pay attention to his speech to their people. Guiding them, explaining to them what had happened and what would happen. She should want to know, she should focus and yet, her mind was everywhere but there.

Five hundred people. That's all. They could've had saved double that. She wrapped her arms around herself and focused her eyes on the people below them. Many were crying happy tears at being reunited with their family members whom they thoughts would die. Arms linked, friends hugging, not believing that they were all safe. Amongst them were Trikru members, confused and uncertain. Their leaders lost and now, they were in a completely unfamiliar environment with only a few warriors, many women, and some farmers. Completely at the mercy of the Sky people. Of course, they were scared. But they were all helping the Skaikru in exchange for a place in the bunker. They would be helpful, and they would assimilate, Abby had no doubts about that.

But who were they to condemn over a thousand to death? What gave them the right to decide who lived or died? What made them more worthy of survival than those they killed? They, because they were all responsible. What gave Marcus the right to decide whether she lived or died? She wanted to be on the other side, she explicitly told him. Her life wasn't more important than that of the others and now, even more people died. She should've had been with the grounders when they released the gases, not here, not safe. It wasn't right, she didn't belong here.

"We have some food waiting in the mess hall. Please go and have some dinner. After that, we will meet here at 1500 hours to go over the schedule and work assignments. Thank you."

An explosion of applause erupted from the deck below. Skaikru clearly happy with the turn of events. Why wouldn't they be, they were just given five more years to live.

Abby pressed her lips together and shook her head in disapproval at the joy. She spotted some Trikru members, and they seemed confused but there was also something else. A relief maybe? She wasn't sure.

"You've done well." Jaha's voice took her out of her thoughts. She looked over at where the voice came from. Not far from her, the tall man put his hand on Marcus' back in an approving manner. Like a father congratulating his son. Abby grimaced in disgust. "Let's join them for food." Kane nodded and Jaha looked over in Abby's direction.

"You're okay, Abby?" her quietness didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm fine," she replied trying to sound as normal as possible at the same time avoiding their eyes. "Let's go."

The two men walked in front of her as she dragged her numb body behind them. Step by step, feeling an overwhelming urge to scream. Everything was wrong. So very wrong.

End of Chapter 2