Chapter 12

In a hurry, Abby sprinted through the halls, gliding on the slippery floor. Her blood ran cold dreading what she might encounter once she reached medical. When she left it, Leah was fine, at least physically, but what if she missed something? Anything. She questioned herself, her heart racing as she picked up her pace.

By the time she reached medical, she was out of breath, she pushed the door with both her hands, fell inside and bent over in half trying to inhale, her lungs burning. She looked around. The door to Leah's room was ajar and she could see Jackson's back inside. She grabbed a pair of gloves and put them on.

"What the hell happened?" she said as she ran inside, taking in the scene in front of her. Leah was losing blood fast, a pool of red liquid formed under the bed. To her side, Jackson was trying to stop the bleeding. Unsuccessfully.

"I have no idea. I went to the toilet and when I got back, I found her bleeding."

"Move aside." Abby removed Leah's top trying to locate the source of the bleed as the blood was still coming out.

"Get more haemostatic dressing."

So much blood. She grabbed the gauze Jackson handed to her, she pressed on the area harder, and the bleeding slowed down just enough for her to locate the wound. Fuck! She thought. Stab wounds. She grabbed another dressing and pressed with both her hands trying to stop the bleeding.

"She was stabbed, I can see two entry wounds, there may be more, look around." Abby applied more pressure to both wounds. "I need to operate; they won't stop bleeding."

Leah's breath was rapid but shallow, her skin pale and cold to touch, clammy. "Come on, Leah, hold on just a bit longer!" Abby pleaded. In response, an intrusive noise came from the monitor next to the bed. Leah's heart sped up. Tachycardia. The blood was still pouring under Abby's hands, pooling around Leah, dripping to the floor.

"I don't see any more wounds," said Jackson.

"Get the crystalloid fluid ready, she's going into shock," said Abby, desperate to control the bleeding, she put more pressure on and looked at Leah who was unconscious and unresponsive.

"Damn it!"

A loud sound penetrated the room. The monitor. Abby's head snapped as Leah's heart stopped.

"Take over! Put the pressure on the wound," she ordered Jackson as if he didn't know what to do but he followed orders without questions and as soon as he did, Abby started CPR.

"Come on, Leah, you can do this!" She pressed on Leah's chest, counting. Nothing. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, giving her the energy needed to perform chest compressions, overriding her own exhaustion. Over and over again, Abby pressed on Leah's chest, her focus solely on Leah, Jackson's voice muffled as it reached her from outside her zone.

"Abby, she's lost too much blood."

One… Two… Three… Abby counted as she kept pressing on the woman's chest. Her arms went numb having no idea how long she'd been doing that.

"Abby…" Jackson's hand squeezed her arm. "It's been 15 minutes. She's gone." Abby blinked. Her eyes moved from Leah to Jackson and back as the realization dawned on her. She nodded and lifted her hands, letting go of Leah's body.

In a haze, Abby reached out with her hand and stroked Leah's hair, she leaned over and pressed her lips to the woman's forehead. "I'm so sorry." She covered the body with the blood-stained bed sheet. "I have to notify Kane and Miller." Jackson nodded. "I'll be back to collect the evidence."

Adrenaline had left Abby's body making her feel drained and exhausted, her arms ached from the chest compressions, her emotions tethered thin. Dragging her feet, she walked out of the room and her eyes fell on Kane who stood next to a desk, leaning on it, he pushed himself up when he saw her. He must have followed her here. Abby's eyes met his, concern written all over his face.

"Leah's dead," Abby said. "She was stabbed." She added but he already knew that, and Abby stood there not sure of what else to say. She was the one who gave Leah a sedative, she left her alone. She should've stayed with her, maybe if she did, Leah would still be alive. A wave of emotions came crashing down, overwhelming her and Abby fought with herself to keep it together.

"Come here." Marcus opened his arms, offering them to her.

Abby shook her head.

He nodded. "I notified Miller, he'll be here soon. Let's go and get you cleaned up."

Abby looked down on herself, her clothes were drenched in Leah's blood. With no energy left to argue, she moved past Marcus trying to keep some distance between them because she knew that as soon as he touched her, she'd break apart. There was nothing she wanted more than to walk into his arms when he offered but she couldn't give him hope, confuse things. Marcus didn't question it, he followed her, and they walked in silence towards their quarters. Abby's eyes fixed on the floor, Kane's eyes focused on her, worried about her. She was covered in blood from head to toe, her eyes hollow, hair clumped with dried blood for the second time that night. Abby took this case personally, it would be devastating for her and there was no way he was letting her out of his sight, not after last time.

Without uttering a word, they reached Marcus' quarters and he stopped by his door to open it. Abby was about to go to hers when he gently grabbed her elbow and guided her to turn around to face him, expecting her to say something, get angry, say something snarky but instead, she just looked fragile and broken.

"Come here," he offered again, and this time Abby walked right into his arms, melting into him as he wrapped his arms around her cold body, enveloping her. A sob escaped her and her whole body shook. He pressed her tighter as she stood there crying, clutching his sweater in her fists. Marcus pressed soft kisses on the top of her head, offering what he could in terms of comfort knowing that it would not be enough.

Marcus didn't know how long they stood there but as Abby's sobs started to subside, she whispered, "I need to take a shower."

"Come on." He grabbed her hand and gently pulled her inside his quarters. With no energy left, she didn't protest and followed him inside.

The bathroom was filled with harsh, bright light bouncing of the cream-colored walls. A shower, a toilet, some brown counters with a sink, and a mirror above them were all there was, it looked like a mirrored version of hers, except this one had all his toiletries inside.

"Here are some clean clothes so you can change." Marcus placed a folded t-shirt and a clean towel on the counter. The shirt was his, she'd worn it before, in Polis. It was way too big for her, it almost reached her knees, and there were a few holes but she felt comfortable in it and she warned him she might steal it in the future if he'd go away on a mission. Marcus smiled at the memory but tried to hide it, not wanting to smile under these circumstances.

"I'll be in the bedroom if you need anything."

Abby nodded in reply, and he left the room to give her some privacy. Only then did he notice that his sweater and trousers had some blood on them which probably got there when he held Abby. In one swift motion, he took his sweater off and dropped it in the wash basket, his trousers followed as he made a mental note to run them under the cold water first, he found new clothes, quickly put them on, grabbed his datapad as he sat down on his bed to check if there were any news from Miller. It was far too early, but one could hope…

Marcus opened his eyes as something landed on his knees. His datapad. He must have drifted off, confused he looked at the clock next to his bed, 30 minutes, he slept for half an hour. He looked around searching for Abby who should be done with her shower by now, but she wasn't in the room. Rubbing his eyes, he got up and with bare feet, he padded to his lounge, but she wasn't there either. That's when he heard running water. He furrowed his brows, the water must be cold by now, his pulse sped up, blood pumping in his veins. In a few short strides, he passed the distance to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Abby?"

He waited.

No answer.

"Abby?" He tried again, louder.

Still no answer.

"Abby, if you won't reply, I am going to have to come in," he warned her, giving her a chance to stop him. His heart thumping in his chest.

Silence.

He tried the handle. Unlocked. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, dreading what he was about to find.

His gaze fell on a neat pile of clothes, folded and placed near the sink; rusty bloodstains clearly visible on the light fabric. Blood drops on the floor marked Abby's path to the shower stall, he hoped it was from her clothes. Marcus kept his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Abby, are you okay?"

Running water was the only sound in the bathroom. He took a deep breath trying to gather the courage to look up. This felt intrusive. Of course, he'd seen her naked before, but they weren't at that point anymore, he had no right but still, he had to check on her. Her life was more important. He exhaled, straightened his back, and lifted his eyes, looking straight inside the shower stall.

With the water still running, he found Abby sitting on the shower floor, unharmed, with her knees drawn to her chest, her eyes fixed on the wall opposite her. She was no longer crying. Her tears must have dried out by now, but her puffy face and red-rimmed eyes told him, she'd been crying before.

Marcus shook his head and sprung into action, he opened the shower door, turned off the freezing water, grabbed the towel, and wrapped it around Abby's body. That brought her back to reality and she whispered, "I killed her. It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault."

"I shouldn't have left her alone; I should've known better. Stay with her, ask for a guard, anything. It's my fault she's dead…" Tears welled up in her eyes threatening to spill. She made no indication that she was about to move, a thousand-yard stare on her face, her body shaking from the cold, but she didn't seem to notice.

Marcus secured the towel around her, slipped one hand under her knees, placed the other on her back, and lifted her effortlessly. She weighed next to nothing. Lost in her own world, Abby didn't protest and made no indication that she even noticed that she was being carried.

In his bedroom, Marcus sat Abby down on his bed. She was still wrapped in the towel, so he made his way back to the bathroom to grab her t-shirt. When he came back, she was sitting in the same spot he left her, she made no effort to move or cover herself more. Goosebumps covered her naked back, she was shivering. Marcus swallowed hard before approaching her. As he stopped in front of her, she didn't acknowledge him, he put the shirt through her head and then put her cold arms through the sleeves. He pulled his thick blanket aside.

"You're freezing, please lie down, you need to warm up."

Without a word, Abby lay down on his bed, Marcus covered her with his blanket and tucked her in. Then he sat next to her and caressed her hair.

"It's not your fault," he said.

She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her heart, holding it so he couldn't move.

"It is. Everything's my fault. I end up hurting everyone. What kind of doctor am I, torturing and killing people…" Her voice trailed off and a sob shook her body. New tears spilled and Marcus' heart broke. He couldn't take her pain away, but he could damn well try. Without hesitation, he climbed into bed with her, she still held his one hand so with the other one, he scooped her into his arms and gathered her to him. In response, she scooted closer, placing her head next to his chest, warmth radiating from his body warmed up her skin instantly and she couldn't hold it any longer. A new wave of sobs escaped her, and Marcus just held her as she cried, gathering her to him, trying to shield her from the world.

"It's not your fault," he whispered over and over again planting soft kisses in her hair.

Abby's one hand clutched his shirt, the other never let go of his hand that was beginning to cramp be he wasn't about to take it away. With his other hand, he drew soothing circled on her back trying to calm her down.

Eventually, Abby cried herself to sleep, and once she was sound asleep, listening to her regular breathing relaxed Marcus and it didn't take long for sleep to overtake him too.

The next morning, Abby was first to wake up, the warmth of the human body next to her made her feel safe and relaxed. Overnight, they changed their position and he was now spooning her from behind, his arm circling her waist, gathering her to him, his palm resting on her underneath her waist like she belonged to him. Abby lay there for a minute, enjoying the brief moment of calm, before she had to get up to face reality. She missed being in his arms, the warmth radiating from his body always calmed down her nerves. She lay still, listening to his even breath, his chest rising and falling behind her. He was still asleep. Abby took a deep breath, his scent surrounded her and only for a moment, she allowed herself to lean back into his body, drinking in the closeness that was given to her so freely the night before without asking for anything in return. As always, he was selfless, and she didn't deserve it. Marcus stirred behind her and gathered her closer to him, her body molded into his. He nuzzled his head into her neck, his tight body shielding her from the world. She missed this so much and wished for nothing more than to stay where she was but she knew she had no right to ask for any more than he'd already given her and even accepting that was a mistake.

With her hand, she grabbed his palm and gently lifted it off her stomach. She paused, waiting to see if he would wake up but his breath was still even. She crawled out of his grasp and placed his hand back on the bed. The cold air hit her naked legs and she shivered, immediately aware of the loss of his body heat. Her thin t-shirt didn't provide much protection against the chill. She looked down caressing the fabric between her fingers; she remembered it well. Dark blue, plenty of holes. She adored that t-shirt, it smelled of him, and reminded her of their time in Polis. A sad smile appeared on her face at the memory. Lost in thought, she played with the fabric, her bare feet freezing but she couldn't feel it, her throat tightened at the thought of what she'd lost. She turned her head to look at him, it would be so easy to crawl back into bed, in his arms, and stay there for just a little longer. But she wouldn't do that, she couldn't toy with his feelings like that, she'd already done enough the night before.

Taking a deep breath and using the last remnants of her strong will, she forced herself to move, tiptoeing to the bathroom. Quickly, she cleaned the drops of blood from the floor, and blood stains on his shower door, she grabbed her ruined clothes and sighed. She couldn't put them back on, she had to take his t-shirt. Barefoot, she padded back to his bedroom, pulled the blanket over him, planted a small kiss on his cheek as a silent 'thank you' hoping that he wouldn't wake up and she walked out without looking back because if she did, she feared that she would've crawled back in bed with him.

Marcus woke up an hour later to an empty bed that now felt too big and cold without Abby in it. Her scent still lingered on his pillow confirming that it wasn't a dream, that she was really there. He rolled over and lay on his back listening, hoping to hear her, that she was just in the bathroom. Silence. He squeezed his eyes shut replaying events from the night before; he missed her so much, his life was empty without her in it despite seeing her every day, despite being surrounded by other people.

With a sigh, he ran a hand through his face, rubbed his eyes and resigned, he sat up on his bed bracing himself for the day ahead. He flung his feet off the bed, winced when they met the cold floor, got up, and padded to the bathroom. Expecting to see the mess from the night before, he flicked the light on and looked around but to his surprise everything was clean. Abby's clothes were gone and so were the blood splatters. He wondered how long ago had she left, had she even slept in his bed at all, or had he just imagined it? He started the shower and stepped in, ignoring the cold water pouring down, hitting his sore muscles, waking up his tired brain. It was going to be another long day.

End of Chapter 12