Amy's good mood lasted until she crawled into bed. Her head hit the pillow, crunching down on the envelope she'd hidden beneath it. Reaching back she pulled it out, feeling the DVD slide out and onto the floor with a thunk. Sighing, she twisted to lean over the bed and grab it, careful not to drop the disk when she saw the case came apart from impact. Flicking the lamp on, she sat up and placed everything in her lap to fix. Snapping the case back together, Amy opened it to replace the disk when she hesitated. Her thumb ran along the smooth curved edge. Biting her lip, a curiosity buried deep inside surfaced. One that she had been bound and determined to fend off until she had no choice but to face it. Maybe it was the events of the last few days lowering her guard. Or she was finally in a place to start healing and taking back control of her life. Whatever it was, it sent her out of bed and sneaking through the house to the front door with the DVD in hand.
After sliding into her flip flops on the porch, Amy headed for the barn where she remembered Jack telling her was the only computer with an internet connection. She assumed that meant it was hard-wired with an ethernet cable rather than WiFi because if he didn't have air conditioning why would he have wireless internet?
Finding the outside office door unlocked, Amy huffed in relief that she didn't have to risk making a ruckus sliding open the barn door. Settling herself behind the desk, Amy turned on the laptop that, blessedly, wasn't password protected. A detail she considered bringing up to Jack if he kept anything important or confidential on it. She wasn't there to snoop, though, contrary to what Ty might have thought the last time she was in there. Feeling around for the disk slot, she popped out the tray and placed the DVD inside. Nervously, she listened to the whirring of the ancient computer as it loaded the data, flexing her fingers off the touchpad when the file popped up.
Her heart thudded hard and fast in her breast. For a moment she considered snapping the computer shut and darting back to the house. But Amy knew if she did that she probably wouldn't find her way back to this place again. So she double clicked on the video.
A loud and fast whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, blasted from the laptop speakers, making her jump and frantically search for the volume keys to mute it. Her eyes left the screen before she even had a chance to get a real look at the grayscale image to stare into the black doorway, her ears straining to hear over the anxious thumping of her pulse for noise coming from the loft. Satisfied she hadn't disturbed Ty, Amy let her eyes drop to the screen.
She waited for the past to come thundering back when she fixated on the strange deformed gummy bear shape that was her child. Her heart hadn't slowed its erratic pace in the slightest and didn't show any sign of doing so any time soon. Anxiety and fear clenched her gut knowing she was looking at part of him. That he was still there invading her body; growing and thriving. But there was wonder there, too. That something so fragile and precious could come from a nightmare.
For a long while she stared at the image, noting the subtle movements and how she never felt them. Sliding her hand over her belly, Amy closed her eyes to feel for a flutter or anything that she could liken to the motion on the screen. But there was nothing. It was likely too soon for it. She was going to have to pick up the "What to Expect" book again she brought along on the bus. After throwing it at the door not long after her arrival, Amy hadn't bothered to read it any further.
Her brow furrowed when she realized just how ill-prepared she was for the future of her pregnancy and subsequent birth. For a long time it was denial and an out-of-sight, out-of-mind attitude until she began to really show. Looking at the defined shape of the baby growing inside her now, reality struck hard. She needed to do better. Even if she did ultimately decide on the adoption route (which she was heavily considering), there was still six months left of motherhood she was accountable for.
Creaking on the stairs snapped Amy from her thoughts to quickly close out of the video. Her fingers froze over the keyboard when a human-shaped shadow appeared in the doorway. Amy stared at it wide-eyed for a moment until Ty's voice erupted from the dark form.
"Sneaking around again?" Ty leaned against the doorframe, narrowing his gaze at Amy through the glow of the laptop screen. He heard her come into the barn, but rather than investigate the intruder, Ty lay still on the old loft bed and listened to her move about the space. The noise from the computer had him sitting up and quietly easing out of bed to finally investigate.
Amy's rigid posture deflated. "Just checking the weather for tomorrow," she lied, glancing at the little weather icon in the corner of the screen.
"Hmm," Ty grunted, shuffling toward the desk and stopping across from Amy. "And?"
Amy swallowed, shrugging. "Just as Jack said. Looks like it's going to be a clear weekend." She reached up to close the computer, dousing the room in darkness. Then immediately regretted it when she became hyper aware of Ty's presence in front of her. "Sorry I woke you."
"Trying to get rid of me?" Ty chuckled. She hadn't woken him. He'd been wide awake with his own thoughts and would have been for another few hours at least.
"Uh, no." Yes. "I was just about to head back to the house." Amy made no move to leave. Last time she was alone in the office with Ty it hadn't ended well at all. She wasn't about to get up just to be cornered again.
Ty also stood his ground, sensing Amy wasn't being entirely truthful. He wasn't sure how he felt about finding her once again with her nose where it didn't belong. The computer wasn't exactly full of state secrets, but still possessed quite a bit of personal information. But he knew better than to jump to conclusions when it came to Amy. The tension straining the space between them had Ty shifting over to the lamp on the desk to flick it on.
Amy blinked against the sudden light, but was grateful for it. If she hadn't been so concerned about this very interaction happening she would have turned it on herself when she came in.
"Something tells me you weren't just checking the weather," Ty guessed. "You look guilty as hell," he teased, folding his arms across his chest.
Despite his jesting tone, Amy didn't like being called out by Ty. "Am I not allowed to use the computer, either?"
Ty put his hands up in a placating gesture. "Relax, I didn't say that. It's just a little late to be surfing the web." Which is what made it so suspicious.
"I was just checking the weather," Amy again insisted.
Ty dropped his arms. "Okay." If that's the story she wanted to stick to then he wouldn't press her further.
Amy stared at him warily. Okay? That was it? No third degree or accusation of trying to dig up family secrets?
"Okay." She finally stood, tapping her fingertips on the closed laptop. Her disk was still inside, but she didn't want to make a show of ejecting it. Except he made no move to leave.
Ty moved off to the side of the desk to allow Amy a clear route of escape, figuring that's what she was waiting for. "I'll close everything back up behind you," he offered.
Amy hesitated. Arguing would only make Ty more suspicious. Finally, she nodded and stepped out from behind the desk, keeping him in her periphery.
"Night." She was sure she could find a moment tomorrow to sneak back in and get the disk.
Ty flicked off the lamp and shuffled after her in his bare feet. "Night." He followed her out of the barn and waited in the doorway until she got to the porch, nodding in acknowledgment when she glanced back halfway there. Closing the door, Ty made his way back to the office and sat at the desk to re-open the laptop.
The desktop was up but a program was still running in the toolbar at the bottom of the screen. Clicking on it, Ty's eyes widened when he saw it was Amy's ultrasound video. Turning on the volume, the same whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, he heard upstairs filled the room. It synced perfectly with the tiny flutter of the baby's heart on the screen. Letting out a long breath, Ty was grateful for his insight and not pressuring Amy to just tell him the truth for once. He still didn't see why she thought she couldn't tell him what she was looking at, but understood her need to keep secrets. Frustrating as it was.
Properly closing out of the program, Ty ejected the disk and returned it to the open case. After shutting down the laptop he brought the DVD with him to the loft
That night no one at Heartland slept soundly. Each of them tossing and turning from restless thoughts. If they did manage to drift off it was for no more than an hour or so.
The night was no different from any other for Amy, whose nightmares tormented her on a regular basis. But tonight the regular nightmares were replaced with the haunting unknowns of her future and that of her child's. When she got back to her room, she cracked open the book and read up through her next couple weeks of pregnancy before her eyes became so tired they crossed. But putting the book down and turning off the light didn't shut off her brain.
Ty went back to laying awake in bed. This time he flipped the DVD between his fingers and let his thoughts drift to Amy as they often did since she arrived. He thought about what he saw on the computer screen and what about it was so uncomfortable to Amy that she had to hide it. It wasn't hard to figure out what she saw when she looked at it. Occasionally, his thoughts drifted to Kit and what would come of that fiasco. She was invited to the party tomorrow and would surely show up. But he would worry about that then.
Jack went to bed with every intention of getting a full night of solid rest. But it had been over a month since he last saw Lisa and he got butterflies like it was the first time all over again. He knew he hadn't changed in that month, but always worried she would. That she'd come back to tell him she decided life at Heartland was too small potatoes and wanted to move permanently. It was a foolish fear. One he had no business thinking given the amount of times Lisa assured him she was happy with how they were. Still the combination of excitement and weariness over seeing his wife tomorrow kept him awake.
Amy hoped to be the first to roll out of bed in the morning so she could sneak out to the barn and get her disk from the computer. But as she was about to get up the door to the bathroom swung closed. Jack was awake. She groaned. Well, maybe tonight everyone would be exhausted from the busy day and crash early.
Since she was up, Amy changed out of her sleep shorts for a pair of pants and headed out to tend the chicken coop as she did every morning since Jack assigned her the task. She eyed the coffee pot as she sat to pull on a pair of boots Soraya gave her when she learned Amy didn't possess any appropriate farm footwear. The automatic brew was just kicking on when Amy darted outside to avoid it, nearly tripping over Lobo who was sprawled out on the porch in nearly the same spot as last night.
The elderly dog scrambled clumsily to his feet. "Oh. Lobo," Amy laughed softly, reaching down to offer a scratch of apology. "Sorry, buddy. Come on, let's find breakfast."
Though she was hesitant around the chickens at first, Amy had since gotten comfortable entering their enclosure and shooing them out of the way. They learned quickly to associate her with food and all came clucking merrily to follow her around while she raked up their droppings and hunted for eggs. Most of them laid in the nesting boxes, but she found a couple that preferred the grass corner of the enclosure. Minding the chickens was a simple, peaceful, task Amy found herself looking forward to each morning. It was something she did alone in the stillness of the morning before the farm came alive with inmates. Thankfully, she was able to avoid them most of the week, but come the next she would be out of reasons to disappear from the farm all day.
She set the basket of colorful eggs near the door where Lobo laid down to wait. He watched the chickens, lazily lifting his head as one flew to sit on a branch that was leaning against the side. Amy finished fluffing the straw in the boxes then caused a fury when she scooped out corn to sprinkle inside the coop. It was a decent distraction for her to slip out of the enclosure with her eggs and not have any followers.
"Morning."
Amy jumped at the voice behind her. Thankfully she kept a hold of the basket when she spun around to face Ty.
"Stop doing that," she snapped, her fist tightening around the handle of the basket.
Anyone else and Ty would have found humor in their jumpscare. But with Amy it wasn't quite so funny. "Saying good morning?"
"Sneaking up on me." She headed back to the house, irritated that her peaceful start to the day was over so soon.
Ty followed. "It's not like I do it on purpose."
"Could've fooled me."
Ty's clenched his teeth to keep from retorting. It wasn't his fault she was so jumpy. Instead he focused his attention on her fluffy shadow. "Lobo seems to have latched onto you."
"Probably because I'm the first person who has given him any attention." Amy heard the attitude in her voice even as the words were coming from her mouth. Ty had a way of bringing out the worst of her without even trying.
"Coddle him, you mean."
Amy shot a look of indignance over her shoulder. She'd hardly call it coddling, but trying to argue with Ty was like arguing with a brick wall. When she realized he was still trailing behind her, she came to an abrupt halt. "Do you need something?"
Ty barely managed to keep from plowing into her. "What?"
"Why are you following me?"
Lifting his brow, Ty pointed toward the house. "I'm, um, going in for breakfast. Or have you changed the locks already?"
Amy opened her mouth then snapped it shut again, clenching her jaw. God, he was infuriating! About facing, she stormed away, leaving Ty to watch her in amusement before following at a safe distance.
After breakfast, the guys went out to begin their day when the prison van rolled down the driveway. Amy kept busy inside cleaning the house from head to toe once she located the proper supplies. She opened the kitchen windows and a few at the back of the house to let some fresh air in and let out the stink of chemicals.
"What on earth are you doing?"
Amy jumped at Ty's voice for the second time that day. She twisted her head around to glare at him over her shoulder from her place on the floor. She'd been so absorbed in her task she hadn't even heard the door open. "You're lucky I don't carry a loaded weapon or you'd be dead twice over by now."
Ty snorted. "I got the drop on you first. Both of those times." He held up two fingers.
"Whatever," Amy retorted, knowing he was right but refused to admit it.
"Why are you on the floor?" Ty skirted around her to get to the fridge for a bottle of water.
"What does it look like? I'm scrubbing it." Amy gestured with her scrub brush to the bucket of soapy water.
Cracking the lid, Ty took a sip, eying her over the bottle. "We have a mop, you know."
"Yes, I know that. But it wasn't doing a proper job. This floor is filthy from all of your shitty boots." She glared pointedly at Ty's feet that were caked in mud and manure.
Swallowing a mouthful of water slowly, Ty traced his path from the door to see how he just traipsed right across Amy's clean floor. "Shit, sorry." He capped his water bottle. "Should you even be doing that?"
Amy's gaze narrowed. "I'm pregnant, not incapacitated. Besides, it's proved to be cathartic."
Ty looked at the bucket of soapy water skeptically. "Cathartic?"
"Yes. I pretend the floor tile is your face and I rub every dirty scowl and sly smirk right off it. Then wash every hurtful and nasty thing you've said to me out with soap." She continued to gesture wildly with the brush, making Ty start to inch his way back to the door.
"I think you've been inhaling too many toxic fumes. You know you're not supposed to mix chemicals."
Amy growled under her breath. "Get out." Her arm swung toward the door. "And next time you come in here take your shoes off in the mud room. That's what it's there for." Honestly, did they live this way when Lisa was around? Somehow she doubted they'd dare dirty up her clean floor.
"Sir, yes, sir." Ty saluted, leaping out of the way of the flying scrub brush and darting outside. He learned he needed to be quick on his feet when Amy had a projectile in hand.
He was still chuckling to himself when he got back to the barn.
"What are you grinning about?" Ray called from his perch outside the round pen.
Ty just shook his head and schooled his expression. "Nothing."