Omnidimension Neptunia: Infinite Memes

by SuperHuman200

Divergent plot, crispy memes, meta humor & references. In a world where the CPUs are subjected to tentacle hentai at the hands of ASIC, it's not quite up to our... MALE OC to save the day like so many other harem power fantasies, but it beats kicking rocks like an NPC, especially if he became a relevant character because of a weirdly shaped one. (Current: Divine Hunger Arc)

57. 57 - A Breather, or a Bother? Hijinks!

All rights are reserved to their respective owners. I own nothing in this piece of fiction except my OCs and the story itself.

---

"It's been a while since we haven't had to do any fighting, right Iffy?" Compa asked her best friend as they walked down the streets of Leanbox.

"That's right, Compa. It's nice for a breather every once in a while." IF responded, taking a deep breath in the process.

"So what should we do? I've almost gotten used to us fighting all the time..." Nepgear asked the party.

"Which is exactly why we need a break. All work and no play makes Nepgear a dull girl." Nebula reminded.

"I'm just gonna walk around Leanbox a bit. Anyone coming with?" The GPU rose a brow.

"I will accompany you." Surprisingly, Kars had opted to join Nebula on his stroll.

"I never had the chance to survey the nation, so this is a fine opportunity." He explained, standing to the blue boi's left.

"Okay." Droned the pseudo-protagonist. "Anyone else?" He asked.

"Where are you going?" Gris got off his phone and asked the blue-haired deity.

"Down the street." The martial artist pointed with his thumb.

"I have nothing better to do than annoy you right now, so make room." He walked to the other side of Nebula, much to his dismay.

"Mind if I join you on this stroll of yours?" MAGES. inquired, to which Nebula looked at her.

"Sure! It's settled then. The four of us." He raised his fingers to show the number as the Mad Magician sauntered to him.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Taleia asked, an incredulous look on her face.

"Uhhh..." The god awkwardly looked away. "I thought you wanted to hang out with Cave?" He tried to take some heat off of himself.

"After my ex-boyfriend almost dies, the first thing I want to do after he survives is hang out with my coworker?!" A flabbergasted look etched itself onto the elf's face, the hurt present in her voice.

"..." An uncomfortable look of guilt crept onto the man's face.

"Damn. You really do get zero bitches." Gris poked fun at Nebula's situation.

"S h u t. You can come too, Tals. Just don't bring up ammo for this jackass." He caved on one condition, as she squeezed him in a tight hug.

"Yay!" The hybrid squealed as she wrapped her surprisingly strong arms around the GPU's body. He held her as well, wrapping his arms around her waist and raising her up, before putting her back down.

"Ok, letsa go." Chirped the blue deity as he skipped down the street, humming a certain theme.

"Maryo can smell that copyright infringement from here." Gris joked.

"He's on the other side of the continent, what's he gonna do?" Asked the pseudo-protag, unphased by the threat of infringement.

Just then, the sound of an impending alarm sounded, signifying the approach of the dreaded blue shell.

"You and you big-" Kars was cut off.

"Not now, Gas Pedal! We gotta step on it! If that shell hits us, we'll be sent to the Paperwork Plane, forced to do taxes for Wintendo!" Running down the street, he began the race for shelter.

"I vouch to sacrifice Nebula to the shell proxy!"

disintegrating emoji scream meme-

Gris yelled behind him, causing a scream of anguish to surface from the blue buffoon himself.

"Pardon, MAGES. What does this shell look like?" Inquired the alien.

"Like this." She showed her phone to him, a picture of the fearsome Maryo Kart item.

MORPH!

"Hahahahahahahahaha! You'll rue the day you called me a gas pedal, Brave Heart!"

Become the one who knocks someone out of 1st, he took to the skies to chase the deity.

"IT WAS NOT THIS FAST IN THE GAMES!" Screeched Nebula as he sweat bullets, moisture flying off his face.

"I want to help Nebula, but I don't feel like another marathon is the answer." Taleia shook her head.

"Alas, I have the solution to your plight." Equipping her broomstick, the mode of transportation levitated.

"Before I abandon conventional physics, I have a question." The half-elf brought up.

"Is riding that going to be... Uncomfortable?" She winced at the thought of sitting in such a painful manner.

"I mean, you rode the rod of the bloke you're gonna chase so I don't know why you worried about a sti-"

A sharp glare with a flustered expression made it across Taleia's face, as a daft expression replaced Vergo's nonchalant face moments before.

"T-That's none of your business, Virgin!" Reasonably ruffled by the comparison, her acquaintance scowled at the nickname.

"Piss off, you prick!" Spat the time traveler.

"I will. Let's go, MAGES.!" She hopped onto the back of the Mad Magician's broomstick as the mage sat in front.

"As you wish." MAGES. bowed out before pursuing the trio of tomfoolery.

"Well, consider that subplot its own problem." Waved away Vergo.

"That you had a hand in." IF looked at him with a cross expression.

"More like a hands-off approach. Nebula's the one who summoned the agent of legal destruction." He pitted the origin of the shenanigans against the meme lord himself.

"How's he gonna get out of that? Blue Shell never gives up." Ram questioned.

"Not our problem. I'm confident that our blue bloke has this in the bag." Smiling, Vergo paid no attention to the adventurer.

"I'm just glad those two mean-looking guys are gone," Rom admitted.

"You'll get used to it." The green-clad deity told the older Lowee twin. "Ram should've known better than to rush Gris, though."

"But what about what he said?! Was I supposed to let that slide?!" The younger twin became lively remembering the interaction.

"No, but you weren't supposed to bull rush him! Then he curves you into a bottomless pit." Sighed the blonde.

"Oooh, I'm gonna get that jerk good for that!" Fumed the pink CPU Candidate.

"Violence is not something you should solve a problem with, especially since the guy you want to use it on can ragdoll you." Gust pointed out.

"Oh yeah, well nobody asked you!" Pouted Ram, still sore from the humiliating treatment.

"Hey, now. Arguing isn't going to solve the problem either." Nepgear told the Lowee CPU Candidate. "We'll do something together and ease the tension, right Uni?"

"That's right, Nepgear. The last thing we need is another fight." The Lastationite CPU was in agreeance with her Planeptunian colleague.

"Then where should we go?" The green CPU Candidate asked. "Is there anywhere you guys want to see in particular?" He inquired at the group of CPU Candidates.

"How about an amusement park?" Nepgear offered.

"Nah, Lowee has tons of those!" Ram denied.

"How about an internet café?" Vergo brought up.

"Too boring." Uni waved aside. "You really just wanna be on your phone the entire time?" She looked at the blonde with a raised brow.

"No, but Wi-Fi is a very nice commodity." The male admitted.

"Well let's go to an arcade then." Uni put up for consideration.

"But Lowee..." Rom began, but her sentence was finished for her.

"Has that too." The blonde time traveler sighed. "Fine, we'll figure it out on the way, as long as we're not arguing with each other." Decided the blonde.

"Good idea. Are you coming with us, IF? Compa?" Nepgear turned to the Makers.

"We actually have something to do while we're here, so I'll let Vergo supervise you guys." The Guild Agent told them. It was ironic that the bloke was the youngest of all of them, but alas, such is humor.

"He's gonna what?!" Uni, Ram, and Nepgear shouted simultaneously.

"Oh, relax girls," Compa told the three. "I'm sure that Ver-Ver is a responsible adult, right?" She turned to the taller deity.

"Right-o! Totally..." He smiled, a sweat drop forming on his forehead, never having actually taken responsibility for someone before. Let alone 4 important international figureheads.

"No harm will come of them if I also join in this supervision activity." Cave opted, the time traveler internally sighing at the notion.

'Even in this timeline, Cave's a lifesaver. What a lass.' He commended the redhead's efforts.

"We won't think of something standing here. Let's go already!" Ram persisted, as the CPU Candidates plus the redhead were on their way.

As the second group moved away at a MUCH slower pace than the first, all that was left was IF, Compa, Gust, Nisa, and 5pb.

"So, my righteous allies. What beckons our minds in this time of rest?" She asked of the remaining Makers as they looked at her.

"I haven't been in Leanbox in a while, so I think it's a pretty good time to do something interesting." The brunette voiced an idea.

"How about we go to a butler café?" 5pb. recommended.

"A what." IF's face became flat.

"Yeah, one of those butler cafés I heard about while we were walking through the city." The Nurse-In-Trainign reminded.

"Why would you even want to go to one of those?" Asked the Guild Agent, suspicious of the decision.

"I have to meet a boy band there, they work as part-time servers. I think Juniper was their name." Recalled the blue-haired idol as she explained her reasoning.

"Are they law-abiding citizens?" Pondered Nisa.

"You could say that." 5pb. responded.

"It looks like this boy band needs further investigation." IF, now sniffing potential illegal activity was ready to go to... A café.

"Well, let's go, girls!" Compa announced, as the others left with the bubbly nurse.

---

"AUUUUUUUGH..." AL snored, the sound of his slumber echoing through the room as he rested on the ground in a futon, shirtless and sprawled.

"AUUUUUUUGH..."

Meanwhile, Domio was barely able to stay unconscious with the behemoth level of sound that pierced through the air, keeping him on the edge of dozing off with every single snore.

Even with bed privilege, it was not enough despite its king-sized proportions and comforter coverage.

'Lady White Hveart, will he ever stop-'

"AUUUUUUUGH!"

The child's eye twitched as if AL's snores became louder just to spite him.

But after, seemingly silence dominated the refreshing and comfortable room, not too bright to be annoying but just dark enough to shield most of the outside light through the blinds.

"..." A soft smile spread across the child's face as he welcomed the embrace of sleep with open arms.

...

...

...

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

That last one shook the room a bit.

"!" Hyper-realistic bloodshot eyes opened as they twitched in annoyance. Domio could not sleep in such horrendous conditions.

He pulled the sheet off of himself, revealing pajamas that were of a certain dramatic penguin's face pasted across the fabric as he slid out of bed.

He felt cranky, for starters as his bare feet hit the ground.

"So friggin tired... Solch blödsinn." (Such bullshit.) Muttered the brunette, his eyes baggy, struggling to readjust to being awake.

He almost fell over AL's form due to his fatigue, his instincts kicking in to grip the floor with such intensity, it left small toe-shaped marks on the ground.

Wobbling back to his center, Domio wandered through the room until he reached the door.

The light from the hallway hit him like a flashbang, and his vision was blinded for a couple of seconds before his pupils adjusted to the light.

His juvenile mind wasn't awake enough to wonder if he should've changed or simply woken up AL to shut him up.

Right now, he needed energy and the only thing he could think of was a can of Nep Bull.

Problem was...

"...I forgor where the fridge is." Rubbing his eye with a groan, the child knew this was gonna take a while.

Complaining about his lack of remembrance wouldn't get him anywhere, so he took his first, sleep-deprived steps.

The Basilicom staff were rather uncaring of a random preteen in pajamas walking around the building, as he sleepily sauntered around, moving as if he had no clear objective in mind.

Domio used this to his advantage since this meant that if he just acted naturally, they'd let him be.

He saw a door that could potentially be the break room.

He came, he saw, he opened.

But the scene before him was a... Different type of coming, to say the very least.

Some suspect sounds were echoing throughout the dimly lit room, which housed many green objects with black accents or vice versa with few exceptions.

These noises were very moist and flesh-like, and rapid as high-pitched pants were accompanying these sounds.

"Oh f...~!" A loud moan masked the door being opened, allowing him to enter unnoticed.

"Huh?" A sound that belonged to a confused dog escaped Domio's mouth as he covered it, trying to discern what was going on.

"L-Lady V-Vert!- Right there!~ Ahhhhn~!" The moans progressed to screams, leaving Domio even more confused than before.

Low ptiched huh meme-

'Huh?' The confused dog noise rattled through his brain, his three coherent brain cells reciting runic calculus to try and figure out where the hell that voice came from.

SNIFF!

The Loweean's nose then picked up a very carnal, yet distinct smell from the room as his brain cells came up with an expression for the scent.

'Discostan.' That was the verdict. 'Smells like...' Then, his brain cells pinged everyone.

His eyes widened until he almost staggered back, which would've given away his presence as he yet again used his balance to prevent himself from falling into any of the...

Wait, why was there a figure of two naked women that looked like two pairs of scissors-

'Okay, this is getting weird. I'm out.' His gut telling him staying here any longer was a bad idea, he went to open the door.

Unfortunately for him, the person's fleshy noises ceased as his hand went on the doorknob.

'Mutterficker.' (Motherfucker.) Internally cursing, his verbal inhibitions gone with hours of sleep he craved so dearly.

"Who's there!" A voice he was familiar with demanded to know of the preteen's presence.

"Wait... Miss Chika?"

VINE BOOM!

A brow raised not too unfamiliar with a certain rock as he looked rather skeptical.

Scrambling, the green-haired Oracle quickly grabbed a sheet before wrapping herself up, her curvy frame pronounced through the thin fabric that was her sheet.

If Domio stared hard enough, he could even see her pokies through the sheet, unbeknownst to Chika.

"It's you. Do tell me child, what are you doing trying to peek at someone like me? You do know the consequences for something so inappropriate?" The Oracle of Leanbox tried to maintain an intimidating aura, but Domio found it hard to take a barely covered woman too much in heat to stand straight remotely scary.

"I just wanna know where the fridge is. You just tell me, and I'll leave what I saw between us." He bargained.

"I-I won't tell you anything, and if you leave right now, I won't call the guards!" She opposed, folding her arms with a flustered expression.

Chika's feminine pride chose the hard way.

An eye twitch.

"Listen here, you fucking sex-deprived fotze. I just want to get to the verddammt fridge for an energy drink and you're making life hard for me when all you need is a hard schwanz to shut you the fuck up, miststück!"

Domio's patience in short supply, the sleepy head seethed as he spoke just loud enough to warrant the volume under a shout.

"So Lady White Heart help me, stop being a stuck-up hure and tell me where the fuck the refrigerator is, before I scream at the top of my lungs that you touch yourself to a body pillow of Green Heart in your spare time, AND MAKE LIFE HARDER FOR YOU THAN ANY CERVIX PUNCHER COULD EVER BE!"

GLOW!...

Teetering on an outburst, Domio's hitched breathing with mana glowing in his eyes told the Oracle the kid genuinely did not care for her figure at the moment.

"H-How dare-"

"!"

The preteen grabbed the figure, and a gasp erected from the woman's throat.

"Nep Bull or no figure. Go figure. Now talk." He did not one a single line of unnecessary dialogue.

"Down the hall, take a left first door on the right." Blurted Chika, whose color had left her face at such a terrible sight.

"Was that so hard? Pfft, why am I asking you of all people, like you know the answer." Judging from her tastes, the Oracle was indeed most likely clueless.

"H-Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" Indignant at her intelligence insulted, Chika shouted for an answer.

Freezing a pair of ice sunglasses to his face, he put them on his face and spoke.

"Too much of a dick to be straightforward, too much of a muschi to get a real toy. You're sad, Chicken."

And with that, he slid out the room, satisfied with the new information leaving a visibly shaken and stirred Oracle in his wake.

But just before the door closed, a shadow slithered into the boy's own as the Loweean shut it.

Now in a not-so-happy mood, the ice mage stomped down the hall with a purpose.

Reeling his head back, puffing out his chest, and adapting a rhythmic pep in his step, the brunette bumped his body and swayed his arms in sync as Domio progressed.

The translucent image of a certain Soviet doctor that was rather live(se)ly appeared and disappeared as the boy embodied the chad aura of the doctor himself.

Some phonk accompanied him as he trekked to the kitchen blasting from seemingly nowhere.

But alas, something piqued his interest, the music record scratching.

A door was slightly cracked, yet instead of darkness, it was bright.

The fact that the door itself was fancy as opposed to the regular framing and design of the others, meant that this was somewhere important.

The food was the door opposite to the one he had his attention on, but the ambient sound of videogame BGM drew him like a moth to a flame.

So he moved to the door.

But when he opened this doorway, he wished he had shut the forsaken entrance instead.

He walked into the room.

Going well so far.

The first thing he saw was the screen of Vert's gaming PC as her speakers blasted the game's music.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

But the screen, or rather CG was disturbing.

For it was two scantily clad men doing things that Domio could only describe as degeneracy that ASIC applauded.

Wrapped in a VERY compromising position in ribbons to boot with a white liquid around them that he wish he didn't know about, it took all of his self-restraint not to punch a hole through the monitor on sight.

SHATTER!

"MY EYEEEEES!" Cried the boy, seeing things that needed immediate eye bleach as he held them in traumatizing pain.

Not even his shades could protect him from the scarring sight.

He pressed Alt and F4 on instinct, closing the tab to reveal...

ドドドド!

A BL wallpaper!

"BOI WHAT THE HELL, BOI!" Jumping from his spot, Domio was thrown into another round of disgust.

windows shut down sound effect-

"That was awful." Noted the poor child, turning off the PC.

But it was about to get a whole lot worse since the paintings on the wall were BL too!

Even the spread and the cardboard cutout of a male idol in a very, VERY suggestive position.

"BEGONE!"

SHATTER!

Throwing the cutout out the window gave the preteen some confidence back.

He twisted to the display shelves, and shortly thereafter.

Naked men assaulted his retinas. Again.

keemstar scream sound effect-

He quickly opened a drawer, to find ANYTHING that wasn't homoerotic in nature.

Yet he might have argued something gay would have been less jarring.

"I've only seen such an item once in my life, in the bathroom at the bar on my uncle's birthday." Utterly mortified, the image was burned into his memory.

A monstrous, thick, curved, and... Thorny?!

"This is worse than last time, why the fuck does this person have a Bad Dragon DX?! I don't know if I should be more scared that I know what it is, or that this exists."

"THE DILDO! THE DIDLO IS REEEEEAL!" Coating his hand in ice, he picked up the fabled object before hoisting it into the air, a dramatic spotlight over his form.

"Can we get much higher!" A voice that sounded oddly like Lady Green Heart echoed, spooking the boy.

"So high...?" He sang the next part, more like a question than a line.

"Oh oh oh~, oh oh oh oh~~~~!" It melodically sang, making the boy even more confused with comical saucers for eyes.

"I'm putting this back now." Sweat dropping, he returned the contraband to its rightful place.

Unfortunately, his hand brushed against an even more controversial object.

"Is that... Is that a butt plug? And why does it have a switch?" He questioned, before the THX sound effect played in his mind.

Disintegrate emoji meme sound effect-

"Wait. A man wouldn't have so many toys that looked like dicks, at least a straight man wouldn't." Domio deduced.

"Either I found where the progressive employee sleeps or this is a yaoi enthusiast's room."

"Speaking of which..." He turned back on the computer.

A blonde-haired woman's face appeared, who looked eerily similar to Vergo's.

"Are my two last brain cells finally shutting down or... Is that Vergo's sister?" He read the name, sitting down in the girl's sweet gamer chair.

'LadyGHeart.'

"Fick." Domio swore, realizing whose room he was in.

"Well, I learned something today. Leanbox's CPU is a yaoi enthusiast that is also a sexual deviant. I wonder how I should break it to Vergo... Wait, I think he might know already." Muttering to himself, he was unaware of the shadow that grew behind him.

CHILL!

"HINJAKU! HINJAKU!"

"BUT CAN YOU DO THIS!-" Leaning back, the Loweean utilized his danger sense to bend back his chair 90 degrees and dodge the haymaker that would've otherwise knocked his head to the side.

Heaving his lower body using the momentum from the gamer chair, he slammed both of his shins into the face of the shadow, knocking it back unexpectedly.

Whilst still airborne, he threw a leg to the face of the shadow. Unfortunately, he had little experience using his lower body to attack, therefore the shadow grabbed his foot before throwing him into the dresser.

CRASH!

Clothes flew everywhere, from cosplay to lingerie.

But what ended up directly on Domio's face was none other than a pair of black, lacy, breathable knickers that made their way directly to his nose.

"Urgh..-." He breathed, before hacking mid-breath.

"Ack! This smells like seafood! Don't tell me this wasn't washed!" He blanched before throwing the garment at his opponent.

Yet a single blast of Space Ripper Stingy Eyes burned the panties to a crisp.

Domio decided not to be an overburnt hot pocket, and smacked the beam away, coating his hand in ice at the last moment for extra reflective effect.

KA-BOOM!

The PC paid the price, exploding from the beam's contact.

"Uh... I'll just say Lady Green Heart had RTX on. Not like she can't buy another computer." The Loweean was too tired to care beyond an excuse.

"MUDAMMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!" The vampiric shadow threw a barrage of punches, which the pre-teen cashed in his junior membership to Weave Nation to avoid.

Fists sailed through the room, yet Domio simply back peddled and twisted out the way of, his sleepy clumsiness paired with his danger sense made it all but impossible to hit him.

"Weave, weave." The Loweean drawled, his perception as slow as the punches that tried to hit him.

"Ah-"

BOOM!

Forgetting to actually solidify his hand in ice, the child mage end ended up gut-checking the shadow with pure mana, which was surprisingly effective considering that its chaotic nature equated marginally to light, which was rather useful.

"Ah!-"

BAM!

Grabbing the shadow's head as it lurched, he brought his knee up and pulled its cranium down into his kneecap, causing the room to slightly vibrate from the impact.

BOP!

Bicycle kicking the strange shadowy figure in the chin was the next move, as Domio began to juggle the monster in the air from sheer sleepless skill.

BADABOP!

BOOMF!

Sticking his hand out with unspoken rizz, ice spells were cast, freezing the body of the shadow, each consecutive casting covering its body in a sheet of ice until most of its form was coated.

POW!

Coating his shoulder, the juvenile mage rushed B, planting his shoulder into the core of the shadow before the pressure detonated in a magical explosion.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

CRASH!...

It rocked the room and sent the shadowy figure through a large portrait of some BL cover art, destroying it alongside the wall behind it.

An obnoxious crowd screaming wildly coupled with airhorns blared loudly as Domio absorbed the ice, and dusted off his shoulder before peering through the wall.

Walking through the hole, he made his way to the shadow before seeing the frozen figure sprawled on the ground.

"Ficken dummkopf! Holen sie sich einen kick daraus!" (Fucking shithead! Get a kick out of this!)

STOMP!

Freezing his foot in ice armor, he stomped on the shadow's face on the sheeting, causing the wall to shake.

STOMP!

STOMP!...

intervention sound effect-

SMASH!

Driving his foot into the decommissioned denizen of darkness' face, so much force was applied that it was kicked through the wall.

Skidding on the tile face first, the shadow's head busted through the floor cabinet which stopped his movements at the price of lodging his skull into the cleaning products.

Domio walked around to the fridge and opened it to see the sole energy drink that sat in the middle. It was so beautiful it almost glowed.

He took it out of the fridge and twirled around, as suspenseful music sounded around him.

Raising it into the air, he presented it in a videogame-like fashion, as the music climaxed.

'You got Nep Bull EX!'

"Endlich..." (Finally...) Relief swarmed his emotions as he cracked open the jolly can of energy, impatient to get the drops of revitalization.

"WRYYYYYYYYY!"

CHILL!

PEW!

Another eye twitch.

Moving his hand out of the way of an SRSE, he sent a bone-chilling glare, with two glowing blue dots for eyes with his face darkened, slightly crushing the can from the disrespectful attempt to destroy his drink in the Loweean's time of need.

"Kisama. Shinei!" (You. Die!)

Crawling onto the ceiling, he lunged to swipe the boy's head off his shoulders from above.

SHUDDER!...

Yet the shadow was enlightened to a counter, which caused the room to rumble as the frozen forearm of Domio intercepted its dark nails, creating a struggle.

"Lassen sie mich meinen ficken Nep-Bullen in frieden trinken!" (Let me drink my fucking Nep Bull in peace!)

"Anata no neppuburu wa jigoku no ana kara anata o sukuu koto ga dekimasen!" (Your Nep Bull can't save you from the pits of hell!)

Snarling at the response, the Loweean pushed the shadow of his arm.

Yet an exchange was prompted, as the Nep Bull EX was tossed in the air.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMDUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMDUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMDUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

Fists appeared by the hundreds, as Domio's eyes widened in shock for the first time since his rude awakening.

He was in utter shock.

Why the hell did he have to work so hard for 500 milliliters of sustenance?!

This incited a fierce retaliation as Domio coated his other hand in ice before throwing his own strikes back at the shadow.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

Streaks of blue and black flew through the air, causing a constant rumbling as pots, pans, plates, glasses, and other items flew across the room to their doom with shattering echoing around the area.

Many punches landed their mark on Domio, interrupting him as the shadow's relentless assault continued. Staggering, he needed to readjust his momentum to start actually doing damage, as opposed to being a glorified punching bag. His fatigue further impaired him, causing his reaction time to be terrible in high-intensity situations such as this.

The chilling sensations of danger were all being interrupted by many stimuli, not able to reach his brain in time, causing him to be struck into combo strings that exceeded the 100s. Even if he could perceive every blow, his brain couldn't send the signal to his body fast enough due to his physical block of exhaustion.

He needed to adapt.

NOW.

Or Lady White Heart knows what will happen to the Nep Bull.

'Wait... That's it!' He looked at the can before his face was clocked in a moment of distraction.

"UNF!" His body slid on the ground, the tin can flipping away and landing to the side.

"You're not the only one who's thirsty." The shadow spoke.

"Ayo?" Domio rose a brow.

"I'm parched for the blood of my enemies!"

Lifting up the fridge and ripping the plug alongside the socket out of the wall, he chose the electronic as his weapon of choice.

ゴゴゴゴ!

Domio crawled to the can, before gulping every last drop for dear life.

His tiredness faded, as his muscles visibly bulked before compressing back to normal.

The shadowy clone suddenly stopped and felt impending danger at the small boy that was nothing but tired and grounded moments ago.

"DIO is dead. And soon enough, you'll join him." The room darkened, Domio's body gained a blue hue as the temperature dropped from his showcase of magical ability, his aura having a freezing effect in such a small space.

The floor by his feet started to freeze from the coldness of the room, quickly spreading around the ground and reaching the shadow's feet with it wobbling back with the fridge in tow.

"Nothing more than the shadow of a dead man preying on the weak." Scoffed the child, who summoned a magic circle.

"KUSO!" (Damn you!)

Closing his eyes, Domio's irises became blue when he opened them again to see the shadow ready to bludgeon him with a ton of metal.

SMASH!-

SHATTER!

As the fridge was brought down, it immediately shattered on contact, with Domithe ice mage's fingertips rendering the ''weapon'' destroyed in mere moments

"DAKIRAI!" (I HATE YOU!)

"Why so cold?" A sadistic smile spread on the boy's face, eyes bloodshot and twitching. "When the tables weren't turned, you weren't nearly this emotional." His eyes gained shadows.

Appearing in front of the shadow, the child shoved his hand into the stomach of the dark manifestation of DIO's energy.

MAGIC CIRCLE!

"Also, cool." (So cool it.)

FREEZE!

A shocked and pained expression was soon stuck in place as ice spurted from his orifices, before the rest of his body as he was impaled from the inside out.

The shadow's mass liquified before dissipating in the air, spelling its demise with Domio's eyes returning to normal.

He crouched on the ground and put his hand on it.

"Thaw."

MELT!..

He spoke, unfreezing the break room and absorbing more power from his battle with the shadowy annoyance.

This attracted the attention of AL, who had awoken from the noise in the room with a durag on his head, and shirtless with flame emojis printed on the pajama pants.

He stood with Chika, who still was slightly flustered with frazzled hair and disheveled clothes as they both entered the room.

"Dom, you 'ight?" The martial artist asked.

"Don't break anything in there-" Chika stopped herself. Her face turned white at the sight she beheld.

The kitchen was in shambles.

Domio turned to see them with unnerving eyes before they became beady and docile.

Another sniff as he looked to the corner of the room set off Domio's sense of heightened smell.

"Why do you two smell like each other?" A very suspicious look rivaling the Wok was in the two adults' direction.

"Wait a minute-"

Chika immediately turned to the shade of a tomato, as AL went to speak.

"Uh-" The man tried to rationalize.

Then the random sound of a metal pipe falling resounded, freed from the suspended animation of ice, cutting him off.

---

"C'mon! Pick up!" Desperately holding his phone by his ear, Nebula sprinted through Leanbox's streets as he tried to evade.

Evade what, you asked?

Loweean lawyers.

It rang as he ran from copyright infringement, sidestepping pedestrians, and sliding under a moving truck before executing an acrobatic pole swing on a streetlight to send himself into the air.

He landed on the top of another streetlight before jumping to the side of a building and running on its glass surface.

"...H-Hello?" The voice stuttered, feminine in tone with a bit of shyness.

"Rei! Look sis, you gotta help me!" Nebula told his apparent sibling through the phone.

"N-Nebula? You don't really call me that much, so this is probably something stupid." The meme lord's sister had a knowing tone.

"Don't be like that, you're already under-Rei-ted." He gave his sister a nickname, that was rather on the mean side. "Just do me a solid and call up Wintendo and tell them to get the tactical airstrike off my ass, please!" Explained the GPU to his sibling.

"Wait, what?!" Rei gawked through the phone, as Nebula leaped from the side of the building.

"No time to explain, just send an apology email with your law firm!" He told the woman.

"But those things have procedures, Nebula!" Rei brought up.

"This blue shell's procedure is killing on sight! Please Rei, I'm on my knees here!" Landing in a convenient stack of hay, he stayed completely still as he awaited a response.

"Ohhh... A-Alright, but please don't do anything that'll complicate the situation!" She told her brother.

"Thanks a million, lil' sis!" Nebula beamed in the hay, before spitting out some stray straws. He hung up as he moved not a single inch.

Then came the blaring sirens.

"FUCK! They're getting closer!" Nebula tried to fool the shell by hiding but would've only fooled himself into thinking he was safe.

So he used his gravitational abilities and made a copy of himself using his frame as a canvas for the hay to emulate as he jumped out.

BOOM!

Soon after, the cart that housed it exploded in a blue dome of energy.

"YOUR RIGHT TO DIE HAS BEEN RESERVED!" It shouted in a robotic tone before chasing him.

"Hurry up, Rei!" The man screamed in terror before he did the dash.

As he ran through the streets, he passed by many civilians who weren't very happy about a blue blur knocking them to the side as he hit the ground running, and hauled ass like a donkey on PEDs.

"Hey, watch it you blue-haired weirdo!"

"Ow!"

"The hell's your problem, dude!"

"Watch where you're going, asshole!"

The environment in Nebula's FOV became blurred and stretched as he continued to run, the sound of impending danger on his six like clockwork; nonstop and never-ending.

Yet as he was speeding around at the speed of sound, someone else managed to catch up to him.

"Hey-there-dude!" A fast-talking voice graced the ears of the blue adventurer as he turned to his side.

Seeing a white-haired man, 5'11" in height wearing silver goggles on his forehead with short straight hair that curled on the ends was moonwalking as he maintained eye contact with the other fast-moving character. Wearing a blue spandex suit with a white steak of lightning on the front, he casually paced himself to keep up with the divine main character.

His clothes flapped in the wind as he traveled on the sidewalk, making sure to avoid pedestrians, unlike Nebula.

"Uh... Hello?" Surprised, the adventurer responded with a question.

"No-bro. You-gotta-say-it-like-it's-one-sentence!" The guy told him as they traveled down a long street.

"You-mean-like-this?" Speeding up his vocabulary, Nebula used 11 percent of his brain.

"That's-more-like-it!-Now-do-you-wanna-race?" The stranger asked the fellow speedster.

"Kinda-busy-right-now. Running-from-something-dangerous." Declined the pseudo-adventurer.

"If-you-have-enough-time-to-worry-you-have-enough-time-to-run!" Reasoned the silver streak.

"Fair-" Nebula was cut off by another entry.

"Do-it-pussy." Gris appeared, running at Mach 1 beside the stranger.

"Two-of-you?-Things-are-about-to-get-interesting!" A cocky grin graced the man's face as he put on his goggles.

"Before-we-start-can-we-get-an-alias?" Gris inquired as super speeds.

"Name's-Peter-but-call-me-Quicksilver!" Quicksilver introduced himself.

"Alright-imma-call-you-Pushin'-P." The blue GPU decided on a nickname.

"Then-I'll-call-him-PeePee." Cackled Gris.

"Piss-off!" Yelled the silver speedster.

"Exactly-" The assassin agreed.

"If-I-win-you-guys-gotta-tell-me-your-names-so-I-can-make-fun-of-you!" The terms were established.

"If-we-win-you-gotta-help-us-with-my-problem!" The meme lord stated his own conditions.

"It's-settled!" The trio unanimously shouted, getting into parallel positions.

"On-your-mark!" Nebula shouted.

"Get-set!" Gris continued.

The blue shell now had two of itself chasing the three, an imminent sign to-

"GO!-" Quicksilver screamed.

SONIC BOOM!

Three streaks of color, one white, one black, and one blue accelerated simultaneously as a large sonic boom expanded as it shattered glass, and shook buildings.

Bystanders were blown back from the initial start but their launch time slowed as the three fast-moving racers' perception followed suit.

"See why I told you to speak faster?" Quicksilver reminded, his speech understandable in their heightened sense of temporal perception.

"Yeah, but what about the people that are gonna splatter on concrete from that sonic boom?" Nebula was concerned about the normies around them.

"Who cares?" Gris shrugged, as the other two speedsters looked back.

"We got about a minute until the first guy hits the wall. A lap around Leanbox seems good. Then we save everyone when we get back." Peter explained.

"Alright!" Cheered the blue pseudo-protag.

"Gimme a break." Eye-rolled the edge lord.

Talking ceased as they focused on the path ahead of them.

Quicksilver spun to face front before leaning forward as he edged ahead, engaging try-hard mode.

Yet Nebula used his gravity to relocate his gravitational pull to yank him into 1st place.

But Gris was not taking third lying down, and activated his temporal aura, letting him cut ahead of the two.

They traveled across the street, switching from the sidewalk whilst avoiding cars with ease.

But even during their race, the blue shells did not fade from the picture. In fact, one of them managed to keep up with the two.

Worse yet, it spoke.

"Hahahahahaha! The Brave, the Edge, and..." It stopped.

"Did that thing just talk?!" Quicksilver turned its head to see a blue spiked shell on his tail.

"The Stupid!"

"HEY!" The silver streak did not take being called dumb by a flying turtle very kindly.

"The Three Stooges are racing, hm? Let's make things more fun!" He said before zipping over them and preparing to dive bomb.

"TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!" Screeched Nebula.

KA-BOOM!

The shell then zipped down, and the three jumped in the air as it landed on the floor before a bright blue explosion roared behind the trio.

Cars flew from Kars' explosion, sending drivers and streetlights flying, along with anything not bound to the surface, including civilians.

Landing on the side of a building as he slid on its surface, the blue deity rushed to grab as many people as he could before setting them on the ground.

YOINK!

Those he couldn't reach, he stretched his arm and scooped the air which made gravity mimic his motions, pulling them to safety.

Unfortunately, vehicles were crushed or exploded on the sides of buildings as he jumped out of the path of one, and back onto the race track.

ZOOM!

Quicksilver ran up a wall with his superspeed before jumping off of it, attempting to grab the shell as it was returning to the skies.

"?!" The shell was surprised by the first speed the man exhibited, even escaping his sight for an instant.

"Time to break you out of your shell!" The racer quipped before clutching his body and pelting him to the ground and landing to continue the race.

BZZT!

Gris did not miss the opportunity to punish and became charged with static.

"Hokuto Shinken: Ryūsei Hagan Kyaku!"

POW!

His foot collided with the shell, sending it hurtling through the street and towards a wall.

Yet, Kars regained his bearings before stopping, a comical tick mark on his form.

"Why you! You dare toss the Ultimate Life Form around like a piece of dung?!" Accused the alien life form.

"You are a Blue Shell from Maryo Kart, throwing you like a football is your life purpose, Gas Pedal." Nebula held back laughter as he used his Attraction to pull the shell to his position as the trio neared him.

"Get your grubby mitts off of me!" Fumed the alien as the adventurer complied.

KICK!

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Shouted Kars as he was football kicked into the sky by the meme lord.

"Thinkhe's gonna try and nuke us again?" Quicksilver curiously asked.

"No doubt. So let's finish this before he re-enters the atmosphere." Gris answered, before glowing and rushing ahead.

Nebula and Peter sprinted ahead as they ran out of the city, trailing behind the edge lord.

Running on a river was the first shift the path had taken, as the trailing duo had caught up, with Nebula hot on Gris' heels.

Their velocity allowed them to easily run on the water's surface without falling in.

ZOOM-

SPLASH!

Quicksilver then tore through the waters with a burst of speed, sending waves on either side, cutting to first place and sending the assassin for a swim.

"Waterrrrrr!" Mocked the blue GPU, mimicking a certain rapper.

A scribble mark appeared above the hitman's head before busting out the water with a mighty motion and high-tailed it into the fray.

As the now last-place contender stepped on it, the temperature rose as the water beneath his feet became scarce, then gone.

The scenery changed to a rocky yet flat wasteland as the racers kicked up dust as they ran on the arid ground. His position slowly improved with the wind drying his clothes extremely quickly.

Nebula ran as he felt the presence of a blue road runner that was catching up with him.

"Meep meep!" It chirped, a dumb look on its face as he kept up with the god.

"You're pretty fast. Mind if hitched a ride?" The meme lord asked.

Quicksilver casually jogged, comfortable in his rightful position of first.

But alas, nothing stayed the same in this life, and that applied to his placement as Nebula riding a wild animal as he caught up with the inhuman-level speedster.

"Wait, is that the Rad Runner from Wacky Tunes?" In disbelief, Peter's face wrenched into awe.

"Yep." Gris, running with a brown Coyote on his back with a rocket launcher.

"Wild E. Coyote?!" Nebula's jaw dropped. "OH SHIT, HE WILDING!"

PHASE!-

EXPLODE!

Firing a missile from the boom tube, the sprinting bird suddenly moved with such speed that it became translucent and blurry before solidifying as the projectile exploded.

"Eat my dust, slowpoke! Come on, birb!"

NYOOM!

GRATATATATATATATATATATA!-

The Rad Runner zipped ahead, with the coyote firing a fully automatic machine gun. Bullets kicked up dust as they trailed behind the bird, yet never clipping.

"Get back here you blue bastard! I'm about to make you look like you live in a pineapple under the sea!"

RUSH!

Gris zipped forward to maintain his aim for the coyote to shoot up the blue pair.

"These two are something else."

WHOOSH!

Muttered the sanest acting contestant, before kicking the ground and gaining an immense boost in velocity as his form became nothing more than a line of mass as he created an enormous cloud of dust behind him.

His vision was then shifted once more, green being the color of the hour with a forest being the next thing he had to maneuver.

He stopped and looked around, taking in the lush tropical forest that he found himself in.

"WAAAAAH!" The speedster heard a scream before he saw the blue racer propelling himself towards him, the bird nowhere to be found.

Hopping to the side, the man let the adventurer smash his face into a tree which snapped it in half.

"OW! FUCK!" Cursed the GPU as he got up.

"What happened to your bird?" Quicksilver asked.

"Gris took the gun from Wild and shot him, then he shot the coyote." A mortified look was on his face.

"That was like 1 second in slowed time ago." Quicksilver pointed out.

"I know! We gotta move before he shoots us and wins by default!" Leaping into the air, he grabbed a vine before swinging onto it.

"Way ahead of ya!"

ZOOM!

Peter said before quickly accelerating, casting aside any greenery as he tore through flora like a weed whacker.

But shortly thereafter their presumption of the race, the assassin with an M60 in tow, jumped from branch to branch like a ninja as he held the rifle in both hands,

"Ooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!" Jumping from a branch he aimed his gun before it glowed, bullets that were white with energy flying out.

These bullets were strong enough to rip apart trees like paper, and a line of destruction and holes the size of beyblade arenas were left in the gun's wake.

Quicksilver sidestepped the bullets before the hitman relocated his aim, and fired again with the speedster shifting once more.

Nebula swung from another branch before pulling out his own strap, to counter the edge lord's.

"That's it, I'm pulling out the big guns!"

RATATATATATATATATATA!

Asspulling a Tommy gun from his inventory, the meme lord imitated a certain hot-blooded relative with a battle tendency and returned fire.

A gunfight ensued, with Quicksilver pulling a Matrix with all the high-speed projectiles that were fast enough to keep him on his toes despite his velocity.

Swing from vine to vine with a Tommy in his free hand, the blue adventurer used gravity to attract the bullets in Gris' position, making sure they didn't miss no matter where he aimed and increased their bullet speed exponentially.

It was safe to say that the rainforest was being recycled into wood clippings by the second.

But the trio's terrain shifted again to rocky and hot, with the air becoming ashen.

RATATATATATA!-

Swinging on his last vine, the blue deity fired several shots.

GRATATATATA!-

Gris returned fire as he jumped into the air, deflecting every bullet shot at him with his own, before landing.

"Yikes!"

HALT!-

HISS!...

Quicksilver quickly skidded to a stop, preventing himself from running right into a pit of magma, right as a large bubble popped before him just as if something landed in it.

Both gods' guns clicked, signifying their empty mags.

Scowling, Gris threw his gun into a lava pit as Nebula stored his, muttering about bullet prices.

After that, they finally took in that they were back at the place where they had defeated DIO.

"We're at Mount Nokia! Look at that plot continuity, you guys!" He landed with a pog-champ face at the volcano, pointing.

"It's erupting, dipshit." Gris landed, commentating and sprinting in that order before a look of horrific realization marred the previously goofy face of Nebula.

"Because this race really needed a difficulty spike." Grumbled Quicksilver before he bulleted through the puddle, cutting the liquid rock extract in half.

Jumping over lava streams every so often, the inhuman speedster skillfully to evaded any damage that came his way.

"It's getting hot in here!~" Sang the meme lord, dodging the molten rain with ease, sliding and leaning out of arms way with burning swagger.

"So hot!" An unknowing adlib from Quicksilver, as he almost stepped into lava, and barely cut a corner to save his shoe.

"So take off all your clothes!~" Singing, the divine warrior somersault into the air.

"I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off!~" Landing his feet onto a piece of molten obsidian before the heat burned off his shirt, revealing sweltering and chiseled abs.

"HNN!"

キラキラ!

Flexing, he put his hand over his face and tightened his muscles whilst stretching his other hand out, Nebula reoriented his molten ride to an upright position as he levitated off the ground.

"Cease your light skin activities, Nebula." Chided the dark-clad edge lord.

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful neppa, maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass bootleg Sephiroth-looking haircut you'd get some bitches on your dick." Immediately clapping back, the meme lord wasted no time.

"Or better yet, maybe you'd get a woman who'd actually shag your dog ass more than once, if they not fuckin' with a respectable member of society, Neppa~." Performing a kickflip, he boosted away on his board, leaning forward to the manslayer's direction with a side look on his face as he accelerated.

"I know your dry ass ain't talking when you only fucked one woman, Nobitchesula. We got a 1:1000 ratio you hoeless himbo! You're a living paradox, doonie drought when you should be swimming in the walls, you sorry excuse for a man-turned-god. You should be thanking Lady Purple Heart that she gave you one body or else Virgin would be thanking his dead sister he wasn't in your shoes, you lame ass piece of shit!" An equally snide and callous comeback from the brooding GPU's mouth was nothing short of demeaning and cruel.

"May your Ls be many, and your bitches few." A stoic tone and a serious look put the roast off into bed.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

"UAAAAH! UAAAH!- Uaaah!- uaaah-..." Knocked out by words, the blue GPU fell off his board with a pained expression, his cry of defeat echoing through the volcano.

"Wow. You are a terrible human being." Quicksilver pointed out the blatantly obvious.

"You'd be right. If I was human." Laughing menacingly, he sped up as the two left Nebula in the dust.

"...My stummy hurt." Comically sobbed Nebula, his self-esteem shattered from his godly acolyte.

He grabbed his board before putting it in his inventory and got up.

'That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy. The gloves are coming off.'

Jumping to the top of the volcano, he levitated over its vent.

"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

GLOW!

His shares flared, creating a blue aura around him with his energy reserves being brought out of him to increase his statistics in a burst of power.

Hair flared in the air, as share energy pulsated from his form with the volcano flaring up behind him, having him darkened shaders at the center of his frame.

Stopping there, he decided not to go overboard, as actually transforming would be cheating.

This was just... Bending the rules a bit.

'This is fine.'

VOOM!

Resembling a dog in a burning building on a footstool, he realigned his eyes to the next biome before launching off the side of the vent, to the mountainous, rocky wastelands.

In the said wasteland, Gris and Quicksilver were running neck and neck, with the spandex-wearing speedster steadily in first. Gris was visibly becoming drained, as the constant contest with the man's deceptive speed was keeping him on the ropes from anywhere between Mach 10 and Mach 100.

It wasn't due to his stamina, but that no matter how fast he went, it seemed as if Quicksilver was always one step ahead of him in speed.

He needed to get the upper hand, and it had to be quick.

"Is this the fastest you can go? You may be faster than your friend, but you can't beat me, bro!" Poking fun at his rival's speed, he started the jog backwards in a gesture of dismissal.

"I got superspeed. Look it up." He smirked rather annoyingly.

"On the contrary. You should be looking ahead." Advised the dark deity.

"And why's that?" Confidence oozed out of Peter's voice.

"SO YOU CAN SEE THE DUST YOU'RE ABOUT TO EAT!" Closing his eyes, he pictured the plan.

His Godspeed would be a great boost to his speed, but the wind-up time would be long enough for Peter to overshadow him. So to make sure he'd get a perfect advantage.

GLOW!

"?!"

CRASH!

Jarring in surprise, the speedster barely registered his glowing foot trapped in temporal stasis before he tripped over it and tumbled, yanked from the assassin's side and further behind him.

"Godspeed."

STATIC!-

ZOOM!

SHOCKWAVE!...

And activating his technique after, he blitzed through the wasteland, running through a mountain with such force that it split in half from collision, creating a visible crevice from where Nebula was, descending through the air in last place.

He reached just above the ground, his flight path creating a trail of dust that was blown behind him.

"Yare yare daze. Watashi ga kono rēsu ni kachitainara, ugokasanakya ikenai, ugokaneba naranai." (Give me a break. If I want to win this race, I must move-it move-it.) His weeb side emerging from the depths, he recited a phrase from a movie about talking animals before his KI covered his body, bursting him forward.

As he flew, he came into contact with another fast-moving individual.

"C'MoN, sTeP It uP!" A poorly drawn blue... hegehog(?) was moving by leaning left and right really quickly. As if he were a sprite instead of an object existing in space.

"SANIC!-" A shocked expression at the bizarre sight that was beheld by the GPU made him scream in disbelief.

"OW!" That shock was short-lived as Quicksilver slammed into him, making them both buckle.

"Pete! What happened to you?!" The GPU was curious, regaining his bearings and catching up to the hedgehog.

"That bastard tripped me up! Now I gotta work twice as hard because of that cheat!"

"Don't feel bad stooping to his level. Gris is rich, so he's cheating at life." Nebula rationalized the mantra of scorched earth/

ZOOM!...

Scowling, the spandex racer was shoved back onto his feet by Nebula, before he sped into the distance with a vengeance.

"1v1 me, m9." He told the furry in a lost language.

"gOtTa gO FeSt!" Responded the hegehog. He ate a bag of snacks before throwing it away, before moving at such as speed that it warped both space and time.

Using his gravity, the GPU caught the empty bag.

Yet inside the otherwise empty package, a glowing green triangle was seen.

"This is... No ordinary snack. It's a Chaos Dorito!" Surprisingly knowledgeable on the item, his knack for adventuring came in handy for once.

Chaos Doritos were a powerful resource, food capable of bestowing unworldly power to those who possessed them.

Near godlike, even. But as far as the blue lad was concerned, they were nothing more than a bygone-era shitpost.

But alas, even with such absolute power came just as absolute conditions. He needed more than just one.

He needed all of them. Which was something the GPU did not have.

"Sanic must've left it behind when he ran away..." Looking at the light blue triangle of power, he put it in his inventory. "But how do I actually use this thing?" His curiosity led him to the big question.

Where's that DAMN fourth chaos emerald?

That also led him to an over-saturated meme.

"Darn tootin'." Agreed the adventurer. Somehow, he had an idea of mimicking the black hedgehog who said that line.

"Chaos...!" Nebula yelled, making sure the right amount of self-importance and edge was present in his voice.

"CONTROL!"

...

...

...

Awkward silence accompanied the roaring winds.

"... I'm used to looking dumb before, but this is a new low-"

TELEPORT!-

In a flash of blue light, the GPU instantaneously warped from his current position.

---

TELEPORT!

SLAM!

roblox oof!

"UNF!" The god slammed into the floor, dust flying up from the impact.

"?!" A female voice gasped at the sight. Nebula looked up at her after eating some dirt.

"This is some nice grass here. I bet a lot of gamers could use this." Spitting out the green substance, he took in the majestic view.

She had lilac hair with waterfall braids, and long side braids on both sides of her head that ran down to her upper torso with a cowlick that drooped on the front of her hair. A flower clip in the shape of a d-pad attached to a miniature wing was on the left side of her head, a cute accessory for a fair maiden.

Her attire could only be described as that of a divine being.

She wore a shiny white and golden collar that housed a lilac jewel, with a light blue reflection. Her collar held an armored bra, revealing a pair of E cups that showed a sizeable cleavage within golden accents, with white plates that also had a lilac crystal in the centerpiece of the armor.

The bra did leave a very toned midsection with an exposed innie that was above a skirt that covered wide, curvy, nigh-irresistible hips. She sported a central lilac jewel with golden accents and two mellow and gold circular waist guards that were adorned with an ancient insignia, unknown to the GPU.

Wearing leg armor on one foot that shined with a celestial golden shade, her other foot was exposed in a smaller shoe that was fitted with a graceful heel white and gold with a purple gemstone on the center of both shoes.

The woman's eyes were heterochromatic, one was a soft lilac like Nepgear's eyes in her human form, yet the other a fiery orange with two slender lilac brows having one raised. They looked at him with curiosity and hostility, four white glowing wings behind her spreading out with feathers flying everywhere, an otherwise intimidating sight becoming surreal.

"Who are you!" She asked with a strong and feminine voice that boasted maturity.

Yet to Nebula, that sentence took a full minute to escape her mouth.

'Right, I'm still fast.' Nebula remembered before focusing to slow his perception to normal speeds.

"Didn't you hear me, intruder?! I asked you to identify yourself!" The woman repeated herself, becoming wary of the man's inactive response.

Slowly getting to his feet as she took a step back, his face suddenly became starstruck before introducing himself0, shaking off the infatuation momentarily.

"I am the pizza-loving, fast-moving, dude-turned-deity and world-savior-in-making! Monsters are reduced to paste and pixels and damsels adore my soothing presence! Master of dank memes and the bane of all that is evil and cringe! I am Nebula Joestar, the memetic protagonist!"

Ending his first impression with a brazen point to the surprised woman, he beamed with a bizarre twinkle by his teeth.

"...You are a weird one, aren't you?" She came to the most logical conclusion with a sweatdrop on her face.

"Yep. Life's boring when everything's mundane. Variety is the spice of life, and weirdness is the dipping sauce." He told her.

"I'll keep that in mind. But more importantly, where did you come from?" The lady asked.

"Gamindustri."

"What?!"

The response caused her eyes to widen. Noticing her reaction, Nebula continued to speak.

"Speaking of which, where is this place? It looks really... nice." Looking around, the GPU took in the scenery.

They stood on a floating island, which had soft green grass that neppitors could only dream of touching, and trees sparsely located on them, as this went for neighboring islands. A path made from cobblestone trailed to two sides of the island, most likely forming a ring around it, as large crystals that felt extremely similar to share crystals littered the grass.

Some holographic hexagonal patches of light were sometimes seen on the grass. The very air that he breathed filled Nebula with energy, any fatigue from the race fading into nothingness as the same went for his hunger. His presence felt completely natural as if he had known this realm for his entire life despite never setting foot in it until mere moments ago.

"You are in Celestia, Nebula. The abode of the CPUs."

"C-Celesita?!" Jittered the meme lord.

Vergo had mentioned the place once, but to actually go there was something else.

"And I am Uranus, the previous goddess of Planeptune. Or at least a fragment of her true form." She muttered the second sentence.

"Wait, fragment?" The god popped the question.

"I sacrificed my physical form to restrain and ultimately seal the Deity of Sin. But as a result, whatever energy I expended during that battle managed to find its way here, where the annals of the fight came to its conclusion."

"..." Remaining silent, the blue adventurer paid full attention.

"The other goddesses of the previous generation were felled by the Deity of Sin's power, and I was the sole goddess left to combat it. Since their souls have not made it to Celestia, I can only deduce that they have been completely destroyed by it." A somber tone overtook her expression.

Looking down, Nebula had a moment of silence.

"Sorry to break it to you, Uranus. But you've been here for a while. And by the looks of it, all your hard work's gonna be undone soon." He told the goddess.

"What do you imply, Nebula?" She asked him.

"An organization by the name of ASIC, short for Arfoire Syndicate of International Crime has taken the majority of shares from the four present goddesses, and plans to use it to revive the Deity of Sin." He dropped the lore bomb.

"N-No! Do they have any idea of the consequences of such a foolish blunder?!" Fierce emotions swelled in the goddess' face, from anger to fear to worry.

"The majority of them don't, I'm afraid. Only one of them may know of the DoS' true purpose but since she's going with the plan, their guise of world domination is simply a cover for world destruction." Nebula's otherwise goofy demeanor became serious.

"Then I must leave this place! I cannot let them revive that abhorrent monstrosity!" Uranus became erratic, bent on stopping the revival of the eldritch abomination.

"Can you even leave?" Asked Nebula. A streak of remembrance flashed across the goddess' face before she calmed down, downtrodden.

"No. I do have not the energy to leave this realm. I cannot muster share energy in exchange for my existence in this heavenly dimension." The terms and conditions for why the former CPU was able to speak with Nebula were revealed.

"Hmm..." The GPU pondered.

Uranus was too weak to leave Celestia. But perhaps she could leave the same way he entered?

"I used this to get here." Showing her the Chaos Dorito, she marveled at it, with a raised brow at its peculiar shape.

"What does it do?" The CPU asked.

"I teleported here. Could you go back to Gamindustri that way?" Asked Nebula.

"I'm afraid we'd need to stabilize my corporeal form with share energy, lest I dissipate outside Celestia's conditions." She told him.

"Goddesses never tire, or hunger in this realm. Abundant share energy roams, and keeps me whole, with Gamindustri's concentration, I'd be in a deplorable state, and with no followers to aid me, death would soon follow." The reality of shares was also explained to Nebula.

"Then how about..." He rummaged in his inventory.

"THIS!"

Zelda item obtained theme!-

"A Share Crystal?" She inquired. "What do you suppose that could do to aid us?" Uranus inquired once more.

"It was a crystal that Histoire made to free your successor's sibling from capture in ASIC's main headquarters; the Gamindustri Graveyard." This context rose a gasp from the goddess.

"Histoire is still there?" Uranus asked.

"Ever since I could remember, she was the Oracle." A simple response from Nebula answered her question.

"Now originally, it was just supposed to be an item to free a goddess, but since Celestia's share energy could be used to fuel it, I think using you as a catalyst and another crystal around here as a beacon, we can create a tethering point to keep you stable when you leave." He explained.

"How do you know that will even work?" Wary of the lack of reliability, Uranus was not quick to plunge into the suggestion headfirst.

"Since you said you needed Celestia's energy to maintain your form, I'm gonna format this like a cellphone call." He took a stick and drew on the ground, creating two rhombuses.

"A crystal here will serve as the receiver while my share crystal will be the sender. You will act as the connection between the two crystals, as both will facilitate your existence through a mutual connection, acting as a failsafe in case either one is compromised."

Nebula drew a line connecting the two, then an X through one of the circles before circling the half of the connection still operable.

"I'll put some shares into the crystal methodically to make sure you don't have any immediate problems. That way, if my theorem is correct, you'll eventually have enough allocated shares independent of me, or the crystals to exist independently of all three of us."

He then drew himself in stick man form and a line signaling the deposit of share energy before drawing her outside of all three.

"Why did you draw me with that perverted expression?!" Uranus shouted at the ahegao that was her face.

"Did I? Oops." A trollage expression became plastered on his features.

"Such degeneracy. Please reign your desires better next time." She chided Nebula.

"Libido is natural, Uranus. Not like you'd have much contact with men up here anywhere. I could pay homage to your name and draw your butt next, and what a fine one it is-" A smug GPU was interrupted.

"And we're moving on." Her face growing red from the appreciation of her curves, she decided to nip his sentence in the bud.

"Besides you taking a... Rather abrupt liking to my posterior, I find your idea endearing. It seems you've put a lot of thought into it as well for having just met me. Perhaps I have charmed you without your knowledge, despite such a blatant showing?" A sly look in her eyes with a coy smile made the GPU look with an equally smug stare.

"Perhaps." Imitating a certain cow, he continued.

"I'm an ass man, myself. Gas giants pull in much more than other planets, so the attraction between us is stronger than you might think, Uranus."

A suave comment made the goddess fold her arms and look away, dusty pink on her cheeks and a small smile.

She clearly enjoyed their flirtatious banter.

"Look at you, Mr. Casanova. Are you like this with every woman you meet?" She asked.

"I'm like this with every goddess I meet. Are you not a goddess? Should I get going?" He teased.

"No, do continue. I like the way you talk to me." She smiled.

"Hoh? Then I bet you'll love this." An enticing glance perked the divine woman's interest as he closed the gap between them to her surprise.

Holding her by the love handle, Nebula's breath trailed down her neck as Uranus experienced a foreign sensation that almost made her melt.

Their bodies close together, he took a cherry from a nearby tree with his gravity before telling her something.

"You ever got your cherry popped?" His voice became alluring, using his share energy to heighten the effect he tried to set up.

"N-No..." She responded, becoming increasingly bashful.

"Because I'll go down there and..." He stopped mid-way.

"And d-do what-" Her breathing was hitched, her body becoming strangely warm as she panted.

レロレロレロレロレロレロレロレロレロ!

"Rerorerorerorerorerorerorerorerorerorero~"

He put the cherry in his mouth and swished the fruit masterfully, twisting and turning with his tongue that made the goddess' imagination go wild as her eyes rolled up and her face reddened with stimulation and arousal. She even bit her lip as her eyelids became slightly lidded.

"Y-Yamete kudasai!~" (Please stop!)

Uranus' eyes closed as she moaned at the pleasure that her eardrums felt, her voice hitching a couple of octaves to produce such a sultry yet innocent noise.

This made the man back away, satisfied with his handiwork, eating the berry.

The previous generation goddess was still shaken and stirred by the very close and personal experience.

"I'll get a crystal to synthesize with my own and we'll be dandy. Don't faint on me, now." He further teased before floating.

"W-Wait! I know where the central share crystal for Celestia is." Her voice quickly reached back down to a more mature pitch.

"Alright. C'mere, my lil' pogchamp." With a snide expression only a pudding-loving goddess would wear, he motioned to himself.

Still catching her breath, she hopped into his arms and they soon flee to the location she spoke of, with simple directions.

Over some islands and to a specific one with a cave.

Within the rocky confines, was their objective.

Soon they reached it.

Dropping the goddess on her feet, the two stared at a large floating blue crystal, teeming with share energy that felt almost overwhelmingly positive, yet he couldn't help but feel safe and protected in its presence.

"This is the Primordial Share Crystal. It was the very first share crystal ever created, and henceforth the most concentrated amount of shares reside within its core." Explained the deity.

"Cool lore." Blurted Nebula before taking out his Sharicite and touching the bigger crystal with it.

discord ping sound effect-

FLASH!

His crystal was engulfed in marvelous light, as Nebula felt a direct connection with both the primordial crystal and his own.

When it died down, the GPU's share crystal had some of the primordial share energy in the smaller crystal, which altered his state as a side effect.

His hair went from nape to shoulder length, as cyan highlights were present on the end of his hair strands. His eyes became yellow with white power signals as he looked down into the crystal, seeing the exotic shares within.

"Trippy. I feel like a million bucks!" He grinned, the positive energy from the crystal flowing through him.

"Ara ara. It seems that you've grown ever more handsome in mere moments." She buttered the GPU up.

"Oh, stop it. You're gonna make me blush and the readers will laugh at me. Again." He waved her away, before grimacing at the thought of being a laughingstock.

"Still though. I've never had the privilege of speaking with, let alone seeing a male CPU before." Uranus admitted.

"Glad to give you new experiences." He expressed his gratitude.

"The Sharicites are linked. I feel both connections now. Are you ready?" He asked the goddess.

"I am. It's been a pleasure talking to you like this, Nebula." She smiled at him with their eyes locked.

"Same here. It just makes me wonder when the next time we can talk like this will arrive." He sighed.

Nebula closing his eyes with a sigh left him open to something he didn't expect.

"Chu!~"

"!"

Uranus pecked her lips on his cheek, Nebula's eyes becoming trademark saucers.

"The next I return from your Sharcite... Let's just say that we'll be sharing a lot with each other~."

SHINE!

The goddess of old winked and giggled, before she touched his co- crystal, ahem, and became a construct of share energy.

She was sent to the crystal core, being absorbed into Nebula's Sharicite.

At the end of the interaction, a lingering smile was on Nebula's face as he held the place she kissed him.

"What a woman." He hummed, on the verge of infatuation.

"What a simp."

metal gear solid surprise sound effect-

Nebula's eye darted to his shoulder, showing Vanns on his shoulder in ant form.

"Oi! It's not simping! I got a kiss!" He pouted.

"No lip contact?" Kars' clone imitated a megamind's tone when asking the question.

"I'll get that and more if everything goes according to plan." Smirked the GPU.

"What about your other squeeze? The half-elf will not be pleased about this." The ant told him.

"... What she doesn't know can't hurt her, amiright?"

"You poor fool."

"Hey!" Nebula shouted in offense.

"I suggest you use your Chaos Dorito to get back to Gamindustri. But I'm sure that you've definitely lost by now- ar ar ar ar."

Laughing like a certain two-piece villain, he awaited to see the Chaos Dorito in action.

"Yeah, yeah. I can't believe I'm being fun of by an ant." Grumbled the Joestar.

"Chaos Control!"

TELEPORT!

---

TELEPORT!

"Where are we now?" Nebula asked, his yellow eyes darting around.

It was very snowy. Frigid even.

Winter dominated the area. They stood near a very large tower that stood out from the otherwise desolate and barren tundra.

"Yes, Nebula. Ask the talking ant where you are, even though he's never been here before expect an answer." Vanns sarcastically mocked.

"I will get bug spray." He threatened the insect. "And besides, this isn't Gamindustri, since I don't feel anybody's energy that I know." Clarified the deity.

"Really? Give me a second." Jumping from Nebula's shoulder, he bounced from the ground and used a super jump to skyrocket into the air.

After a bit, he landed on the man's shoulders.

"We're in Siberia." He told him in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Where?" Nebula raised a brow.

"On Earth." Speaking as if it were obvious, the man remained confused.

"... Again, where?" Scrunching up his face, Nebula's mind was no clearer on where he teleported to.

"Just be quiet. Before we go, I just want to see if you've managed to return me to my Earth, or if this is an alternative variation." The ant voiced.

"We can probably tell based on the first person we meet," Nebula suggested.

"No dipshit, I don't know everyone ON Earth-"

"ROOOOOOAR!"

BLAST!

A strange white and pink beast bellowed on the notion of the man's presence. Yet a quick and powerful attack from Nebula vaporized it off the face of the earth.

"Ok, first human." The GPU rolled the encounter gacha.

"I didn't give you permission to leave, insect!" A voice shouted, gathering the attention of both.

PARRY!

A spear flew through the air before it was blocked by a man, shielding another warrior and a small girl.

The projectile, however, flew to Nebula's location.

SNATCH!

"What an odd spear," Nebula murmured to himself, the projectile in his hand.

"You're acting like an inter-dimensional lost and found." Deadpanned Vanns.

"I'll research that later." The ant noted the futuristic spear.

Nebula catching the projectile made the other three look over to him in surprise, his presence unnoticed moments before.

"Hey, who are you!" The warrior asked, his white hair swiveling as he turned.

"Just a passerby." Responded Nebula.

"There's no way you think that's a believable story." The brunette man narrowed his eyes.

"I don't recall you being here before, human." The purple-haired girl's face hardened in ominous curiosity.

'These guys don't look too friendly. And that girl's power is unreal...!' Nebula sweated under her pressure.

'You'd do best to leave. Engaging will result in death.' Vanns warned.

"Who are you, scum?" She asked, growing impatient. A brow raised as she folded her arms, floating.

"Ladies first." Quipped the GPU with an edge of sarcasm.

"Tch. I am Sirin, one of the Herrschers chosen to eradicate all of humanity. You will join them in a moment, worm." She smiled, arrogance smeared on her face.

'And she's genocidal. Hate to leave her here but I have to solve my own world's problems before dealing with her. Need that EXP and all.' He thought to himself.

"Well, the next time I (SI) your nasty ass, you (RIN) deep shit, you purple-haired bitch." Flipping off the girl, a maddening grin made its way onto his face.

"I'LL DESTROY YOU, INSIGNIFICANT FUCK!" She summoned more spears as her eyes shrunk with indignation.

"Chaos!-" Sticking his hand back, he generated an influx of KI.

"DIE!"

"-CONTROL!"

BLAST!

TELEPORT!

"?!"

The girl angrily fired a spear as the GPU retaliated with a blast, leaving before their connection, which did not go unnoticed by the two warriors.

BOOM!

Nebula's blast was pierced right through as the spear stuck out of the place he was, after a loud explosion.

"He got away?! That damn cheater!" The girl seethed.

An agitated Sirin huffed in disappointing realization.

"Just who was that guy...Welt?" The white-haired man asked the brunette.

"I have no answer, Siegfried," Welt told him as they both looked at the floating Sirin.

"I'll find him later. Anyways, now where we're we!..." She smiled with malignancy, ready to combat the two warriors, the unconscious girl's face twisting with unease.

---

TELEPORT!

"That was close." Breathed Nebula, still shaken by the terrifying power that Sirin exhibited.

"The mighty Brave Heart almost met his end to a petulant child." Snorted the ant.

"Shut up." The blue GPU spat, a tick mark on his head.

"She's lucky she's so strong. If I was just half as strong as she was, I'd find a way to smack the taste out of that annoying brat." Fumed the man.

"Well, relax. Anger will do you no good here. Besides, here is... Dark." Vanns commented, looking around.

The place itself was dim, yet the GPU felt the passage of time condense.

DRAMATICALLY.

It was almost as if he was in a realm where time was reduced to a crippling crawl.

The black walls that surrounded him felt stifling, and bones of human corpses littered the ground with an abyss in front and behind him.

"This place gives me the heebie-jeebies." Looking around anxiously, the deity was becoming on edge.

"I recommend we leave. Before something finds us standing-" The proxy warned.

"Towards the end of all reason." A masculine, defined voice spoke with determination as crunching footsteps were heard.

'Nebula. Leave. NOW. Before that voice finds-.' Vanns' voice was deathly serious, to the point that even the GPU knew that no humor could change the mood.

Too bad it was cut off.

"Oi, Aizen. Who's that guy over there?" A man with white hair and closed eyes pointed, his face and tone unanimously curious.

"Hmm? For once, I'm not sure. Their spiritual energy is minuscule, as well." The Aizen character studied Neubla's power, and to his amusement found nothing to write home about.

"He doesn't look like he's a Soul Reaper or an Arrancar. Completely separate from the two, almost akin to human existence." The man's purple sclera and white eyes pierced into the GPU's soul.

"It's best if you just got rid of 'em." The other man wearing white garbs answered. "No need to let him develop, despite his weakness." He justified.

"He can even survive near me." Aizen stated, as if it were a surprising fact. "You cannot be allowed to interfere." His voice grew cold from neutrality.

"Another demonstration of my power would be excellent to gauge my newfound strength, isn't that right, Gin?" Aizen asked his subordinate.

"Yep." Smiled the comrade named Gin.

"Well. From nothing you came, and to nothing you shall return." Aizen ominously stated, before raising his hand.

"Haien."

BLAST!

"!"

Nebula immediately stuck out his hand as a purple blast raced towards him, his eyes barely keeping track of the object.

"Repulsion!"

HALT!

The attack stopped in its tracks, with the god's gravitational barrier barely holding off the attack.

This made Aizen's brows raise slightly from the result, his opponent not being immediately destroyed.

"Hadōken!"

BOOM!

Generating his signature blue blast, he caused the two to collide, detonating the attack as all three were covered in smoke.

ZOOM!

Gin flashed ahead, his movement sounding like a falling leaf with Nebula's ears picking up the sound, but again fumbled to track him.

'Damnit! I'm in a tough spot here! I can't use Chaos Control if they're gonna ambush me like this...!' Using his energy sense, he managed to roughly estimate their positions, despite Gin's immense and Aizen's tremendous power signatures.

EXTEND!

The smiling Gin's sword extended after unsheathing it, with Nebula applying a repulsive field to himself to make his body autonomously move away from the blade.

"Get back!" Using a pulse of invisible martial art energy, the white-haired adversary vanished with his flashing step before reappearing beside Aizen as he switched places.

This went unnoticed by the pseudo-protagonist for Aizen was fast enough to switch positions nigh-simultaneously.

"Byakurai."

PEW!

The white-haired one almost giggled, before sticking out his finger, sending an extremely pressurized point of air.

"GAK!" That point felt like a bullet to the MC's right rib, holding back the urge to spit blood and saliva.

"Rikujōkōrō."

BIND!

Six thin yellow rods held the adventurer in place, as he couldn't feel any part of his body, reducing him to a living statue.

"Shit...!" He cursed, frustrated.

"For someone who looked rather fragile, you put up much more of a fight than I expected." Aizen backhandedly complimented.

'Say it now, Brave Heart! We don't have much time!' Vanns urged, predicting the intentions of the powerful man.

'I have to wait for the perfect moment!' Reminded the GPU.

'Too late, we die. Too early, and he intercepts it somehow, and we also die.' Given the conditions of defeat, he prepared for the opportunity.

"This is farewell." A smug face made the ant on Nebula's shoulder grimace.

"Hado #90." Raising two fingers, he created a sphere of darkness before it crackled around the dimension hopper and created a grid of purple lines in the shape of a vertical cuboid surrounding the adventurer.

"Kurohitsugi."

Black material cascaded up the lines and formed a black box with spears that stuck out near the top that completely engulfed the man in intense gravitational pressure. Powerful lacerations seen followed as the combined force of the enormous gravity and torturous ripping sliced into his body.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screeched the GPU, under the weight of the attack.

He had to adapt to the technique's gravity, and quickly.

BURST!

Erupting with power, his energy flared within the box, the pain becoming motivation to survive. What felt like hundreds of times the gravity of Gamindustri was minimized to only a couple dozen with his power rising.

Yet the lacerations writhed upon contact, multiple deep gashes forming on the god's body.

"C-CHAOS...!-"

SLICE!

"Urk!"

A slice formed on his mouth, interrupting him.

"N-Nebula!" Stuttered Vanns, who was barely holding on, suffering constant damage as his regeneration was just barely keeping up.

"C-CONTROL!"

TELEPORT!

Getting through the encounter by a hair's breadth, he teleported away from the dimension right before the Kurotsurugi ended.

"He's no longer in the Dangai..." Gin picked up the detail, as the space where Nebula occupied was gone.

"Very interesting. No one has ever escaped that move from my recollection." Scanning for his presence, he found no trace of the man.

"After I finish creating the Ōken, I will search for that interesting person." Promising that to himself, Aizen continued forth, considering the battle won.

---

TELEPORT!

THUD!

"I can't believe I got my ass handed to me like that..." Groaned Nebula, lying down on the floor, his blood splattering with his impact.

"You would've been fine had you listened to me." Growled the ant. "Now we appear to be on a flight of stone stairs." Observing the area, Vanns notified the deity.

"Well, might as well get to the top." Getting to his feet, he looked down at the area of his own blood before walking ahead.

As he ascended, he noticed the pleasant flora on either side. A gentle breeze washed over his body as he breathed in and out, feeling the serenity of the place he teleported to.

When he reached the top, he was face to face with a large red shrine gate.

"Wow! A shrine gate." Marveled Nebula. "Usually a god prevents malevolent entities from entering this gate, yet it feels..." He trailed as he touched the object.

"Powerless." Vanns finished.

"Right. Maybe it's abandoned?" Theorized the outsider. "I can always check out that shrine over there." He pointed to an old-fashioned building made of wood with an Eastern-style roof with a stone path leading to it.

Trees populated the area with a sense of coziness in the area, despite Nebula never being there before. Nevertheless, he walked down the path and approached the shrine itself.

"Old school to the creaky floorboards. Now that's what I call a classic." Appreciating the humility of the shrine, Nebula complemented it.

"Of what exactly, faulty real estate?" Insulted Kars' proxy.

"No. The classic that I'm referring to is broke." Beamed the deity, used to the state.

"Now how did you come to that conclusion?" The ant was curious.

"I found this donation box. And all it has is... a dust bunny, a piece of food, and an IOU from someone named Marisa." Nebula looked inside the slits of the wooden box.

"Bahahaha! An IOU! This shrine deity cannot be serious! The person that runs this place is truly a disgrace!" A bold statement from the puny form of Vanns made Nebula sweat comically.

"Hey, now. You don't have to make fun of them. I don't think many are gonna donate much to a place in this condition in th first place, though." He admitted.

"Then why don't you donate?" Goaded the ant. "I'm sure your finances are able to do that, no?" Taunted the insect.

"Alright. I'll donate 1,000... Wait, what currency do they even use here?" Nebula asked aloud, not bothering to turn to the ant that contained a 'do not look at me' face.

"I mean, I must have something of value, right?..." He fished in his inventory. "You got anything, Vanns?"

"I can create any element from the periodic table." He noted.

"Ok, then create a bar of gold to prove your abilities!" Exclaimed Nebula.

"And why should I?" Questioned the ant, with no interest to donate to a run-down shrine.

It was Nebula's turn to goad the proxy.

"I guess you didn't inherit the 'Ultimate' part if you can't even prove full metal alchemists right." Taking advantage of the clone's inherent hubris, a gold ingot soon materialized from the leg of the ant, and dropped into the god's hand.

"THIS IS ALCHEMY!" He presented the gold ingot.

"Um, ackshually-"

"Let me make my reference." Nebula cut off the ant before opening the donation box and placing the ingot inside. He even heated his finger with energy and signed the ingot.

'~From Nebula'

Closing the box, he felt someone enter the shrine.

"Oh? It seems Reimu is not here. But I sense a foreign being. Perhaps an Outsider?" The woman's voice was elegant and ladylike, as her shoes could be heard behind what could only be described as an interdimensional eye blinking closed.

'I can't even get a read on her strength...! I-It's almost other-worldly!' Switching to mental communication, Nebula spoke to the ant.

'You put the gold in a box, and now she's gonna put you in a casket. Good going, dumbass.' Vanns insulted.

'Should've known this was a trap from the start, but nooooooo, support the poor people-' The proxy was interrupted.

'Hey! We have no idea she's gonna do that. Matter of fact, I'll use the power of rizz to save our asses.' Wiping his face of sweat, he stepped down onto the stairs in front of the shrine.

"Kon'nichiwa. Kono yōna basho de jibun no yōna utsukushi-sa wa nanidesu ka?" (Hello there. What is a beauty such as yourself doing in a place like this?) Raising a brow, the bloodied man tried his best to seem charming.

The woman was blonde with brown eyes, wearing a purple and orange fabric over her

"Ara ara. Bugai-sha? Korera no jidai ni wa dorehodo mezurashī no ka." (Oh my. An outsider? How rare to see one in these times.) She told him, a pleasant smile on her face to greet the otherworlder.

"Watashi no manā wa doko ni arimasu ka? Watashi wa sono yōna amai josei o shōkai shite imasen! Ore wa Nebura." (Where are my manners? I haven't even introduced myself to such a sweet woman! I am Nebula.) Nebula gave his best to be polite, not trying to get on the woman's temper.

"Nante yoku reigi tadashī wakamonodeshou. Zan'nen'nakotoni, Gensokyō ni anata no yōna dansei wa kore ijō imasen." (What a well-mannered young man. A shame there aren't more men like you in Gensokyo.) Appreciating the man's tone, she enjoyed his presence.

"Goshinpainaku. Watashi wa anata ga kore made ni hitsuyō to suru subete no hitodesu." (Don't worry about it. I'm all the man you'll ever need.) Winking with a devious yet humorous gesture, Nebula quickly made his way into her head.

"Watashitachi wa sudeni totemo hayaku ugoite imasu. Anata wa watashi no namae sae shiranai, bakagete iru." (We're moving so fast already. You don't even know my name, silly.) Giggling, the woman put her hand b her mouth to politely hide her amusement.

'The next time she closes her eyes, I'm gonna teleport.' Nebula notified Vanns.

'I'll give you the signal.' The ant telepathically communicated.

"Watashi wa ōku no taitoru de shira rete imasu. Hakureidaikekkai no sōshi-sha, kyōkai no kareinaru yōkai, eien no 17-sai, soshite Gensokyō no mottomo ninkinoaru kenja no hitori, watashi wa-" (I'm known by many titles. The Founder of the Great Hakurei Barrier, the illustrious Youkai of Boundaries, the Eternal 17-Year-Old, and one of the most popular Sages of Gensokyo, I am-)

She put her hand to her chest, preparing for the grand reveal of her name as she closed her eyes.

'Now!' Vanns motioned.

"17?! Yikes, that's a no from me. Chaos Control!"

TELEPORT!

Speaking in non-weeb, the GPU escaped from the woman's peripheral, as well as the dimension entirely.

"Yakumo Yukari!" She opened her eyes, only to see the man disappear.

"Ah..." Her mood plummeted as she was left on read, or rather heard.

"Oh? It seems that Yukari's talking to herself again." A girl dressed in a red shrine maiden outfit commented.

"I told ya she's going senile, ze~" The blonde witch that accompanied her reminded her companion of her point.

A tick mark appeared on the back of the woman's head as she turned around to face the two girls.

"I see you two are eager for some more danmaku practice?" A sickly sweet smile that hid the woman's feelings of disappointment and rage was directed at the pair.

"Ah crap, ze." Blurted the witch.

"Damn it, Marisa!" Exclaimed the shrine maiden.

"Oh come on Reimu, how was I supposed to know she'd take it that way!?" Complained the witch, before a multitude of orbs sprouted forth from the youkai to their annoyance.

---

TELEPORT!

"Yeesh. The multiverse is a whacked-out place." Shuddered the pseudo-protagonist, still reeling from Yukari's presence.

"You can say that again-" Vanns agreed before a droplet of rain cut him off.

LIGHTNING!

THUNDER!

"Rain?! Wheezy outta here." Crawling back into the clothes of Nebula, he let himself get wet by the weather.

The traveling GPU looked around, to see where exactly it was raining. Lots of buildings were around him, as if he was in the midst of a metropolitan biome, the streets leading ahead, and intersecting at a single area.

"I'm weak, I know that much...!" Spat a man, on the ground. He wore a green helmet with goggles with orange torso armor.

"No one has to tell me I have no chance of beating you... I know that better than anyone!" Staggering upright, another voice responded.

"What are you babbling about down there? Begging for your life?" An extremely tall and muscular fish-like creature, green and lighter green in complexion with a crown and cape on his head and back respectively answered with his large razor-sharp teeth moving with disdain.

"Yet I must try. It's not about me winning or losing." Getting his footing he started to become fired up.

"It's about me taking you on, right here, right now!" He screamed, the human spirit burning with determination.

'He's talking big but... He has no power to back it up...' The dimension hopper realized, his eyes narrowing.

'Maybe his brain has deluded him to maintain his sanity against that overgrown fish.' Vanns cruelly hypothesized.

'I can commend his will, though. Few have enough courage to stand up to a monster in those odds.' A somber look capitalized on Nebula's face as he stared on.

"Enough of your rambling. It's time to finish you off." Tired of the man's incessant noise, the monster looked to end his life.

"You can do it!" The three on the ground turned to the safe house, where the voice of a young child could be heard.

"Mumen Rider, you can do it! You're the Cyclist of Justice! Beat up that weird monster! You can do it!" The child cried out in desperate hope, that Mumen Rider could defeat such a fearsome opponent.

The crowd of people alongside the boy erupted as well, cheers of luck and hope for the sole hero that stood in the monster's way.

"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" High on bravery and the hopes of the people, he rushed the monster, as Nebula spectated.

'That's right! Go for it!-' The GPU joined in the cheering.

SHOCKWAVE!

The people's faces were wrenched into horror as their hero was dealt a decommissioning blow, crushing their hopes and dream.

'BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!' Vanns laughed at the result, his comedic sense being hit in just the right spot.

The GPU's face fell from hope to disappointment.

He knew that Mumen Rider was too weak, yet he let his spirit do the fighting, only to be crushed in the end.

As that saying goes, the difference between bravery and stupidity is the result.

'You shut up.' Grumbled Nebula.

A hero's resolve was not supposed to be cast aside so easily, and his namesake would not be tarnished by an overgrown bass.

ゴゴゴゴ!

He started walking menacingly to the battle as Mumen Rider fell to the ground.

"What a disgusting monkey. Thinking someone like him had a chance." Further insulting the man, he walked towards him, the monster raised his foot over the fallen hero's grounded body.

"I'll crush you like the gnat you are!" Lowering his foot, the people in the stadium were terrified for the hero, some averting their eyes and screaming at the likely outcome.

CINEMA BOOM!...

Mumen Rider prepared for the painful sensation, yet it never came.

His face became surprised when he looked at what prevented his demise.

Nebula's foot was blocking the monster's own from going any further.

"You... Actually stopped my foot?..." The fish-like monster was taken aback by such a surprising moment.

"... This is the first time I've seen a fish talk. Excuse me if I don't have anything nice to say to walking sushi." The rain dampened Nebula's hair, his eyes peeking from his soaked bangs, the two yellow irises staring daggers into the fish monster's own yellow eyes.

---

Ruler of the Sea Folk

Deep Sea King

SINK OR SWIM!

---

"Insolent land creature!" The monstrous entity kicked Nebula's foot away before spitting at both him and Mumen Rider.

REPULSE!

"ARGH!"

Raising his hand, the GPU reflected the spit back at the monster before picking up the hero.

"I don't know where any hospitals are in this area, so I'll just put him over there."

VANISH!

In a burst of speed, he appeared within the safe house, and rested Mumen Rider within its walls, as the civilians were shocked by his speed.

"Woah!" One exclaimed.

"Is he a hero?" Another asked.

"I've never seen him before!" A child pointed out.

"Then he's probably an unregistered hero." An elder concluded. "We still aren't out of the woods yet, everyone." He concluded.

The murmurs calmed down as uncertainty grew in their hearts, observing the divine being's form.

PHASE!

Reappearing at the battle, he heard a voice talk to him from the side.

"Can you... Can you really defeat him?" A blonde cyborg looked up at him, as the god looked down.

"He did this to you as well?" Nebula asked.

"I tried to save a little girl from that acid spit you reflected." Explained the man, missing both his arms and legs, left with a busted torso and melted face with wires protruding from his sockets.

"I see..." He looked at the cyborg's destroyed frame.

Gripping his fist, he couldn't stand valiance on the side of the defeated.

"I'm going to move you so that you don't get damaged in the process of this fight." He told the hero.

"Be careful. His strength is not to be underestimated." The cyborg gave a warning. "As an S-Class Hero, if I can end up like this, one hit may not let you walk away from this fight." Continuing to speak, his body was picked up by Nebula.

"I'll keep that in mind." Putting him in the safe house as well, he returned as the monster, who finally got all of the acid spit off his face.

"Damn monkey! I'll rip you apart!" Moving behind him, he attempted to punch him in the back of the head.

MISS!

Yet his fist was misdirected at the last moment as Nebula activated his gravity shield for a brief moment, leaving an enormous opening from overextension.

"Shinryuken!"

BAM!

SHOCKWAVE!...

Nebula twisted around and uppercut the monster's core as blue flames of KI spiraled around his fist, sending him off his feet with a pressure strong enough to exit through his back and halt the rain for a few seconds.

"UAK!" Blood and spit poured from the monster's mouth and nose, as he buckled from the immense power.

"Time to gut this fish." Pulling back his hand, he used his KI to create a blade-like property of energy to cover it.

PIERCE!

"GAAAH!"

The GPU then threw his hand out, making the construct of energy extend from his hand like a longsword, stabbing right through the flesh of the monster.

"Does it hurt?" Mocking the fish monster, a wry smile plastered itself on Nebula's face.

"Tipping scales is something I like to do when I'm not busy cleaning yours." He laughed at the pain of the monster.

"YOU BASTAAARD!" Retracting the blade, he let the fish attempt to hit him.

CRASH!

Sidestepping, the monster stuck his fist into the ground before the adventurer ran up his arm.

POW!

Sending his face to the side with a swift jump kick, the sea-dwelling monster reeled in pain as his teeth were sent flying out of his mouth.

"Zanku Hadōken!"

BOOM!

Firing his attack from one hand, the blue blast exploded on the side of his face, burning some of it off as a result.

"Filthy pest!"

Trying to grab the dimension hopper mid-air, the monster grabbed nothing but air and raindrops, once he opened his hand.

"Over here, fish breath." Called the GPU, behind him.

"You dare make a fool out of the Deep Seak King?!" The Deep Sea King's ire rose to new heights.

"Every king needs a jester. Just that I've never seen a king BE his jester. First time for everything." Folding his arms, he laughed at the monarch's fury.

SPRINT!

Words couldn't describe the king's wrath, so he rushed the god instead.

ZOOM!-

CRASH!

But Nebula dashed to the side, making him miss and form a large crater in the ground.

SLAM!

SMASH!

THOOM!

This continued for several seconds, more craters forming as the maneuvers that the dimension hopper used became more stylish and flamboyant.

VANISH!

The final dodge consisted of Nebula waiting until the last moment before disappearing.

"?!"

He reappeared, standing on top of the DSK's head, looking into the distance.

A bald man with a yellow costume and white cape could be seen quickly running to the battle.

"GET OFF OF MY HEAD!" Screamed the monster, using both his hands to attempt a grapple.

BIFF!

Kicking off the monster's crown and simultaneously hitting his head down he ascended into the air.

Using gravity, he grabbed the crown mid-air and placed it atop his own head as a souvenir.

"Rapid Rapture!"

BLASTS!

A rain of energy blasts replaced the normal drops as Nebula stuck one hand out, releasing a maelstrom of attacks that connected with the Deep Sea King.

K-K-K-KABOOM!

Landing on the ground as the smoke rose behind him from the explosions, the Deep Sea King emerged with numerous injuries, bloodied all over as he tried to get a sneak attack.

"One second!"

stylish sound effect!-

A single finger stopped the punch, a wave of force echoing around the street.

DISAPPEAR!

In another surge of velocity, the GPU disappeared.

"Time to wrap this up! You'll make a great shrimp roll anyway!" Speeding around the opponent, Nebula encircled the Deep Sea King with agility that made him seem like a glowing blue line of insurmountable power.

"DIE!"

BARRAGE!-

Throwing a flurry of punches in every conceivable direction, the sea monster missed every blow without fail. This went on for about a minute until the punches began to slow with the fatigue of the monstrous being becoming noticeable.

"Getting tired already, Deep Sea King? You're slowing down a lot."

-BARRAGE!

Then from every direction, a counter punch was thrown which resulted in the Deep Seak King being bombarded by thousands of fists that left indents in the sea beast's body as he convulsed violently with blood being sent everywhere.

"Don't worry though."

TRIP!-

Stopping, he sweep-kicked the monster, making him fall to the side in surprise.

BAM!

Another kick sent him flying into the air before Nebula jumped with enough force to create a shockwave on the floor.

"You'll sleep with your bottom-feeding subjects soon enough." Finishing his one-liner, he finished the fight.

KA-POW!

THUNDER!

...!

Bringing back his clasped hands, he delivered a disgusting axe handle with such strength, that it caused the thunder to roar in resonance.

CRASH!

The Deep Sea King crashed into the ground, many bones being broken, and on the verge of being dead itself.

Unable to speak from the pain, perhaps a worse fate was to be met for the monster as the man that Nebula spotted, had arrived.

His wounds slowly started to close from the downpour's persistence, the sea beast got to his feet in a feat of regeneration.

'He can heal himself?!' Noticed the combat god.

"Humans... YOU DAMN MONKEEEEEEEEYS! I'll slaughter you all!" Trying to throw a punch, only a bored look on the man's face was his answer.

"Shut up." His mood was anything but willing to hear the unimportant nonsense the monster was babbling about.

SHOCKWAVE!-

With a single punch, Deep Sea King was hit with such force, the rain stopped.

---

The king had been dethroned.

FATALITY!

---

The GPU's jaw dropped with shock, Nebula physically shut it with a hand before shaking his head to get his mind back on track.

"W-What the hell?!." Descending, he planned on meeting him.

"I second that statement. That man is a freak of nature. Leave." A blatant warning that Nebula couldn't argue with was mentioned.

"You make a compelling argument. Chaos Control." The man's power was even more terrifying by a long shot.

Taking no chances, he left the dimension. No need to dethrone the person who actually stood atop all beings on the planet.

TELEPORT!

...

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" The crowd's utter silence from their shock turned to pure awe.

"Sensei..." The cyborg smiled with relief.

"You did it, Saitama." Mumen Rider felt gratitude, held up by some civilians to see the fight.

The rain stopped, and the day was saved.

"I thought I saw someone else, though." Saitama wondered, looking up in the sky but the figure was gone.

---

TELEPORT!

"Please tell me we're home..." Groaned the GPU with closed eyes, tired of dimension-hopping for a while.

"Do you live in a fancy mansion?" Questioned Vanns, emerging from Nebula's shirt sleeve.

"I used to, but I left. Why?" Finding it odd, he asked a question.

"Because it appears we are in the middle of one of those... How do you people say it- Galas." Revealed the proxy.

Huh sound effect-

Opening his eyes, he took in the fact that he had transferred into a room of esteem.

Aristocracy dominated the atmosphere, as individuals in fancy attire surrounded him, from extravagant dresses to sharpened suits.

The room was spacious many tall pillars rising to the top of the dark-stained, yet brightly lit room.

Sound traveled really well here because the sound of Nebula's body dripping rainwater echoed.

"..." The crowd was silent, observing the spontaneous appearance of the deity.

Guards surrounded the pseudo-protag as his eyes counted how many were there before back at the ant.

'Vanns, dry me up real quick.' Nebula told the ant.

'Fine.' Mentally muttered the ant, before casting a spell that dry-cleaned his clothes and skin at a moment's notice.

"Who are you, mortal! How dare you interrupt a god's speech!" A voice commanded from above, as Nebula looked up.

A man with long greyish hair, a blue gemstone-shaped headpiece, and a defined look with white clothes floated in the air, yellow eyes filled with annoyance that some lowly peon decided to interrupt his spiel.

'I didn't expect Gris to be in this universe.' Joked the god.

"I am King Sugon." Beamed Nebula, pointing at DSK's relocated crown.

"Sugon? The hell is a sug-" Face wrenching in confusion, the man was baffled.

"Sugon deez nuts." A curt smile with a statement that made a few laughs caused the god to become embarrassed as he growled.

"You shall not make a fool out of Loki, god of mischief!" Screaming, he pointed his finger down at the man.

"You know, I'm something of a god myself." Putting his hand on his chest, Nebula gave a self-accomplished smile.

"Liar!" Screaming like a certain jedi, he refused to acknowledge the upstart as a peer, Loki swatted his hand to the side.

"The god of mischief calling someone a liar is the irony that makes life worth living, don't you think everyone?" Pointing his hand to the fellow god, some more laughter erupted, not too different from a laugh track.

"Is he with you?" The red-haired man behind Nebula asked an older gentleman with a stick and an eyepatch, who shook his head.

"I have no idea who the brat is, Sirzechs." Smirked the elder, his sole eye looking to the man.

"He's got balls, though. Barging into something like this." A man in a sharp suit with black and blonde hair commented.

"That's exactly the type of man that Rossweisse will chase away with that attitude of hers." He continued, as a woman immediately reacted.

"H-Hey! That's not true, he hasn't even looked at me yet!" Complained a white-haired woman with aquamarine eyes and a grey suit, as she looked at Nebula.

'Psst.' Vanns mentally poked. 'Turn around and smile at the white-haired woman.'

'Unspoken rizz, eh...' The thought passed through Nebula's brain.

With a small grin, he turned around and looked at Rossweisse with half-lidded, playful eyes.

VINE BOOM!

And after winking at the maiden, she immediately cowered with a face more crimson than Sirzechs' hair.

"Oho! Looks like someone heard our conversation!" Amused, the old man smiled.

"L-Lord Odin!" Flustered, she simply attempted to wave at Nebula, who found the gesture cute.

"YOU DARE IGNORE MY PRESENCE, MORTAL!" Screamed Loki, his voice booming through the room.

"I told you that I'm a god and you still don't listen." Turning around, he had deadpanned eyes with a snide smirk.

"They call you Loki, but I personally think you're high-key retarded." Stretching, the GPU prepared for confrontation.

"Zing!" A magical girl in pink shouted, surprised and aware of the masterful rib.

"PERISH!"

VOOM!

His patience was at its limit, and Loki could not take any more insults. A magic circle appeared in front of his hand as he sent a beam of magical light in Nebula's direction.

ultrakill parry sound effect!-

"!" The crowd reacted accordingly with shock with Nebula slapping aside the beam with minor difficulty.

EXPLOSION!...

"GET THAT WEAK SHIT OUTTA HERE!" The attack exploded after it crashed through a window, he looked up at Loki's angry face.

How dare that so-called 'god' smack his attack away like a ragdoll!

"You will know your place, scum!" Rushing down at the dimension hopper, he sought his death.

LEAP!

"Bite me!-"

FLASH!...

Rushing up, a green magic circle suddenly appeared under both of them before the duo disappeared.

"Ajuka, you...!" Sirzechs looked at the green-haired man who stood near the corner.

"I sent them to an isolated location. It's a gambit, but I believe the safety of everyone inside here comes first." He told his ally.

"But what about the man you sent?! Will he be alright?" Concerned, Rossweisse turned to the green-haired man.

"Relax. Your panties are wet from a single glance so your judgment's skewered." Odin diagnosed her frazzled mentality.

"O-Oh come on, Lord Odin!" Stammered the lady.

Meanwhile, a table with some individuals spoke amongst themselves.

"Loki's attack was put aside just like that. That guy's clearly not normal." A blonde man in a school uniform commented.

"He did say he was a god." A blue-haired young lady reminded the group.

"Well, we just have to see if that title holds up." A black-haired woman in a kimono spoke next.

"But to speak to someone of his stature without care means two things. His power is ridiculous, or his stupidity." A shortish girl with glasses analyzed.

"At least he's funny." Another blonde guy admitted.

"That's what you're focused on?" A taller girl was stone-faced as she gave the boy an unimpressed response.

...

Speaking of the title, the two gods found themselves amid a rocky wasteland.

Green-tinted skies, cloudy with a chance of ass-whooping, and grey rock formations were now the new environment for Nebula.

"Beelzebub dares to move a god! He will be the first to die from Ragnarok." Offense at an all-time high, Loki snarled.

"Ragnarok? Get the fuck outta here with that cryptic bulllshit." Nebula laughed.

"Watch your tone, mortal! It will be your undoing!" Visibly shaking with anger, the evil god could not stand the GPU's voice.

"Why should I? I'm not afraid of you. Clearly, you don't command any semblance of respect. If you didn't flat out tell me you were a god, I'd assume you were one of the mortals you view yourself so much above." Slandered the deity.

"Tch... Feel my divine power and rue the day you underestimated a god!"

---

The Trickster of the North

Loki (DxD)

WALLOP!

---

MAGIC SPELL!

Raising his hand and summoning a magic circle, he shot out a ray of magic before it fell from the sky as many beams that hit the ground, serving as an AoE.

Yet Nebula stood there, unmoving.

His gravity shield was up again, and it protected him from the flashy show of magic prowess Loki called an attack.

'I haven't had to spam Baro Barrier like this for a while. Good to flex the skill every now and then.' Thought the GPU as he looked up at the god's tightened face, full of indignant anger.

After a couple more moments, the spell subsided.

"That will teach you. How does that lowly mortal have the gall to back talk someone he should be groveling for his life to." Dust clouds covered the area with the god assuming he had been dealt with.

WHOOSH!

"What?!" Reeled the Asgardian.

"First of all, I am Vege- *ahem* -very sure you're a horrible teacher. Second of all, YOU'RE not Vege- *cough* -the one in charge. You should be begging ME to spare your life, dipshit." Unscathed, Nebula sent a dull glare to the deity.

He stopped atop a small pillar in a giant uneven crater.

"How did you survive!? Impossible!" The norse god denied what his eyes showed him.

"Gods and their egos. I'll never forgive myself if I end up having one that rivals yours." Rolling his eyes, Nebula got into the powering-up position.

"Well, mister god of mischief. I'm about to hit a devious lick!"

Shouting, the share energy rose inside the GPU's body.

"Ski ski ski ski (fucking your ho')"

"Ski ski ski ski (fucking your ho')"

"Ski ski ski ski (fucking your ho')"

"Ski ski ski ski (fucking your ho')"

WOOSH...!

This caused the wind to pick up, with both deities' hair floating in the wind dramatically as a result.

"Your vitriol makes my ears bleed, mortal. Not to mention that ear-curdling nose you call music." With a tone devoid of his angry luster, he started to grow tired of their banter.

"Then shut the fuck up and fight." answered the deity.

The wind stopped in its tracks as Nebula's hair floated straight up.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHH!-"

FLASH!-

...TREMBLE!

A pillar of white light exploded from the man's core, he was engulfed in power that made the ground rupture violently.

WHOOSH!

Rocks levitated from the ground as the wind screamed with tremendous energy.

Loki had to use his magic to shield himself, a magic circle blocking the wind.

The light subsided as the ground stopped vehemently shaking, and the mischievous god lowered his shield.

"What power is this...?!" Nebula's adversary became woeful at the transformation's intensity.

Enter Brave Heart.

The transformed deity floated in the air, his yellow eyes watching his opponent with a seething glare, yet he smiled.

His long spiky blue hair gained some glowing neon blue highlights, similar to DDD's appearance yet his height and musculoskeletal increase made him noticeably more intimidating.

His accents became brightly colored, glowing with power from his spandex to his gloves and boots.

"YOSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

FLARE!

The GPU's energy shot up with a large orange aura with blue swirls and sparks appearing from within.

Waves of wind expanded from his person, the screams echoing through the barren wasteland.

"So you think a transformation can save you? Don't make me laugh!" Still unaware of the situation he was in, the god downplayed the power of his opponent.

"The end will come. No matter how you try to avoid it, you only delay the inevitable. RAGNAROK is inevitable! No mortal, god, devil, or angel can stop its magnificence! Especially not a false god like you!-"

"THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS!"

POW!

SHOCKWAVE!

"UWOK!-"

Ripping through the air, Brave Heart set a booming fist into the god's face with such power that it caused a shockwave that could be seen for miles.

The ground shuddered and fissured, rocks flying as the Norse deity tumbled through the air, blood trailing from his mouth with a nasty mark on his jaw.

"Sorry to be rude, but you left yourself completely open." Commented Nebula.

ZOOM!

Flying with gravity, Nebula's aura made him look like a blazing orange streak with a ring of propulsion from where he floated, chasing the flailing body of the god.

BAM!

CRASH!

An axe-kick sent Loki to the ground, where his body tore through the floor as a trail of destruction was left in his wake, still sliding on the rocks.

CRASH!

Landing on the god's back with a dropkick, Brave Heart put one foot on the deity's spine, the other on his head, and started to surf on the deity.

"Cowabunga!"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF!"

Surfing on his opponent, Nebula heard a faint sound of incoherent screaming, either from pain, wrath, or a mixture of both.

"Think my surfboard is broken, hold up."

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

Curb stomping the divine asshole to shut him up, the GPU hit the man in the head about ten times whilst the slid on the ground before grabbing the deity by the hair.

tyler1 machine gun noises-

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!"

Sprinting on the floor, Brave Heart punched the divine trickster in the back of the head like a paddle ball, yanking his head back every time it was knocked forward in a cycle of pain.

YEET!

"Not done yet!" Shouted the GPU, flying after his opponent as he threw him.

"I AM!" Loki's face was battered and marred, covered in his blood and several teeth broken or missing.

"Too bad!"

SHOCKWAVE!

Using his barokinesis, Nebula pulled Loki's hair forward for his hand to grab before smashing his outsole into the god's nose, breaking it.

Vertically toiling through the air, Loki finally stopped himself, his mood hitting rock bottom.

"Embarrassed by a mortal!? Me, Loki of all people! COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!

MAGIC CIRCLE!...

Activating a large magic circle, easily the size of a house, he prepared to screen nuke the dimension hopper.

VOOOOM!

A large white laser shot out of the magic circle, racing to Brave Heart's location.

Loki smiled, sure that he caught the GPU in his attack.

Yet the foreign sensation of a finger poked his face.

"Nice aim, punk." Brave Heart with a trollage face was sticking his finger into one of Loki's open-face wounds.

"Filthy cur!" Swinging with an amateur fist, he attempted to hit the god.

WEAVE!-

SLAP!

Floating to the side, he backhanded the mischievous god with enough force to transform him into a Beyblade.

SLAP!

"Ooh!"

Smacking his face in the opposite direction, Loki felt the brunt of the G force pushing him to spin in the other direction.

"I'm gonna... Slap the goofy outta you-"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

intervention sniper sound effects-

The taste of his blood was smacked out of his mouth numerous times, small shock waves echoing with each hit.

BAK!

Elbowed to the ground, Loki breathed heavily, his face stinging with pain.

"Quit your foolish antics and die!" Looking up he got to his feet.

"C'MERE BOI!" Screaming, a maddening glee was seen on Brave Heart's face with a sledgehammer.

TELEPORT!-

SMASH!...

Loki quickly summoned a magic gate, falling through it and closing the summon before Nebula's fists could crunch his bones.

"Mortal schum!" Partially peering out from his portal, he pointed his arm to the GPU's back shouting, his speech becoming disfigured from lack of teeth.

BAMF!

"FUCK!" His forehead was elbowed, with the blue deity sensing his presence through the magical portal.

Pointing his index and forefinger to the god's dazed face, he aimed between his eyes before-

KA-POW!-

SHOCKWAVE!

A one-inch punch sent Loki back into his portal, the body of the wicked god sprawling.

"HADŌKEN!"

EXPLODE!

And to finish things off, he blasted the hit-stunned deity with a divine KI Hadōken with enough force to shut the portal with the sheer destructive capability it harbored.

'Since you're enjoying yourself, how about you try to learn some proficiency with that chip?' Van's interjected mentally.

'Good idea.'

Trying to control the radius of his teleportation, he simply tried to sense where Loki resided before utilizing the dorito's power.

'I can't seem to get an exact location. His SP is far more dense than what I'm used to.' Looking around, Nebula only felt the energy of the wasteland; he felt nothing.

"Rue the day you challenged me, false god! My children will feast on your bones!" Loki screamed from seemingly everywhere, projecting his voice with magic circles forming.

SHINE!

A large wolf, beastly and dark blue was summoned with two smaller wolves with one having darker brown fur whilst the other lighter blue like the bigger wolf.

'Fenrir, Sköll, and Hati.' Vanns was keen to name the mythical creatures, inheriting his original's knowledge of the folklore of Earth.

'Are they dangerous?' Brave Heart asked the ant.

'For you... See for yourself.' He kept the thought to himself.

Yet the other beast, was a serpent that was brown in color, easily hundreds of meters in length and several tens of meters in height.

'Midgardsormr... The World Serpent.' A stoic comment from Kars enlightened the GPU.

"Go my children! Make that man suffer!"

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!"

A unanimously loud roar from all four beasts made Brave Heart's warrior heart race with exhilarating anxiousness.

"An actual fight?! LET'S ROCK!"

RUSH!

Charging his attack, he cupped his hands to his side before running at the wolves.

"What da dog doin'?" Asking the question, he leaped into the air, right as Sköll opened his mouth.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

BLAST!

Orange filled the wolf's mouth faster than a brick dropped on a fun-sized bag of Spicy Cheetos.

The son of Fenrir's eyes widened before orange KI sprouted through its mouth, eyes, and ears.

POP!

A gory explosion, filled with steaming blood and charred organs remained as Nebula was covered in the monster's flesh.

"If I can't find the father, just kill the kids." A sentence that would've sounded ABSOLUTELY villainous out of context escaped Brave Heart's mouth.

'WHAT THE FUCK BRAVE HEART, THAT'S MY LINE!' Offended, the ant shouted with annoyance.

"NO MORE GAMES! NO MORE CHILD SUPPORT!" The bloodshed started to mess with the god's psyche, the feeling of blood and guts on him geared him towards brutality.

"GROA-"

TELEPORT!

KICK! POW! BAM! SLAM! BAK! THOOM!-

"Shut the fuck up you nasty bitch- I don't how the fuck you jump my in sight you lil' nasty ass mutt- Shut yo lil' bitch ass up you dirty bitch-"

Using the emerald's power, he located the next wolf's position before using Chaos Control to teleport to in front of the beast, and repeatedly kicking it in the snout several times.

It was so quick, Hati had no time to register the fact before his nose smelled the bottom of Brave Heart's shoe as he rapidly cursed at him, like that one meme.

Teeth soared through the air, blood following the bones of his enemy's molars as a roundhouse, alternate side kick, axel, and front kick combo discombobulated the mythical mutt.

taco bell dong-

SPLAT!

A fierce chop bashed the wolf's skull in, reducing its head to mush. Hati's body slumped to the ground before laying there, beheaded and motionless.

"LAMBS FOR THE SLAUGHTER!"

VANISH!

Brave Heart shouting with manic bloodlust, the father of the wolves prepared for a grueling match.

It opened its mouth, in an attempt to crush the GPU underneath its powerful jaws.

But Fenrir did not anticipate what would occur next.

CRACK!

The GPU pressed his foot down on the monster's bottom jaw to the point it snapped down, dislocating it.

SNAP!

"GROAAAA!" Pulling on the two sharpest teeth whilst using the roof of Fenrir's mouth as a foundation, Brave Heart ripped the canines out of the monster's mouth, the teeth easily the size of small daggers.

STAB!-

The teeth Brave Heart grabbed skewered through the wolf's mouth and directly into his brain.

Blood spurted from the wounds, drenching the deity in the mythical creature's life force.

Unlodging the two canines from the head of Fenrir, Brave Heart jumped out of the beast's disheveled maw before approaching Midgardsormr.

'In the inventory you go.' Sticking the large teeth into his hammerspace, Brave Heart activated his KI blade but this time, both hands were covered in the sharp martial constructs.

The snake slithered quickly, ready to strike as it coiled itself mid-stride to bounce at ludicrous speed.

POUNCE!-

BLITZ!-

Uncoiling, the snek lunged as Brave Heart kicked off the ground with several sonic booms.

VANISH!-

-REAPPEAR!...

Moving out of and back into existence at the moment of contact, the GPU crouched with both blades stretched out.

Midgardsormr stopped in its tracks, finding itself unable to move a muscle.

SLICE!-

Then a corkscrew line sped around the snake's body, the outline glowing from the inside out.

SPLATTER!...

Scales and blood everyone, big surprise.

What was surprising was the sounds of disbelief that the norse god made as his last remaining child had been slaughtered.

'Vanns, can you track where Loki is? Once I get a reading, Chaos Control can do the rest.' Brave Heart thought.

'You figured it out already?' The ant was curious.

'The dorito's location calibration is based on a very specific equation with quantum theory and theoretical mathematics.' Brave Heart started.

'The energy utilized is chaotic to say the very least but manageable once all that chaos is unified.' He continued.

'Share energy not only does this but can tether the location back to Gamindustri, so if you can use your magic to provide a conduit for me, I can bring us to Loki and drag his sorry ass.' A logical explanation made the image clear in the ant's head.

'Alright. I'm interested. You'll be magically sensitive during this, so brace yourself.' Warned Vanns.

'What... What are you going to do?' For once, Brave Heart sounded nervous.

'Increasing your sensitivity to magic. Once it's done, you should be able to sense Loki's presence.' The proxy of Kars enlightened the GPU.

PULSE!...

...

...

...

enemy spotted sound effect-

With the interference of Vanns, Brave Heart felt Loki's presence almost immediately.

Being the sole user of magic for a large distance, it wasn't difficult for Nebula to track him down, and since it was his magic that brought the mythical beasts, it was easy enough to reverse the flow of mana to find out his location.

TELEPORT!

...

...

TELEPORT!-

SMASH!

BA-KOOM!

"URGH!" Loki guttered, his face being forced into a large crater, Brave Heart's mug sporting a frenzied smile.

"You can't run from this fade, Loki! I'm smoking on that Asgardian pack like it's Ragnarok, bitch!" Pressing his face into the ground with more force, the floor shook.

RUMBLE...!

"Impertinent schum...!" In between the GPU's fingers, a look of enraged wrath pierced into the dimension hopper's eyes.

"Just for that, say goodbye to your kneecaps, shithead." Spat Brave Heart.

CRACK!-

SHATTER!-

roblox scream meme-

Applying painstaking force with his foot, the deity stomped out the knees of the Norse deity, crippling him.

The screams of Loki were now the only interesting part of the fight, as he no longer had the means to challenge him.

"I've had enough. You're beginning to bore me." Standing up, he released the grip of his hand off the god.

"Curse you, mortal! I'll reduce you to ashes!-"

"SHUT."

SLAM!-

CRUNCH!

Gravity cut him off, as Nebula pushed him to the ground hard enough for nearly every intact bone in his body to break.

"...!" Eyes white with pain, the god could not speak.

Nor stay conscious.

---

Loki was defeated.

KNOCKOUT!

---

"And that's that. All's well that ends well." Beaming, the blood-covered GPU smiled before picking up Loki's unconscious body by the collar.

TELEPORT!

...

Using his magic sensitivity, he silently activated Chaos Control, before teleporting to the gathering.

"He's back already? Or is he... Looks a tad bit different." A man with black hair, blonde on the top in a shape suit remarked.

"And covered in blood?!" A blonde girl in a school uniform, petite in stature looked on in shock and fright.

"Oh, this isn't my blood, girlie." Clarified Brave Heart to the girl.

"Then who's...?" The blue-haired woman in the school uniform trailed.

"This guy's kids."

Throwing the battered Loki to the ground, his body sprawled as Brave Heart folded his arms.

"Loki!" Rossweisse gasped.

"Well shave my beard and poke my eye, the lad did it!" Awe filled the Allfather's face

"Who did what?!" A brown-haired boy in a school uniform appeared, looking at the old man. His eyes then shifted to the drenched individual.

"I beat up a divine supremacist. Prevented the end of everything. Rizzed a fair maiden. Y'know, the usual." Brave Heart brushed aside.

"Woah. What the hell is this?!" Marveled the brunette.

"I don't know Issei. I've never seen someone like him before." Pointed out a redheaded voluptuous woman, in a similarly red dress.

"He's really, really strong, that's for sure." Deadpanned a white-haired petite girl in a school uniform.

"For anyone wondering, I am NOT King Sugondese Nuts. My actual name is Brave Heart." Announced the VPU.

"Pfft! Sugondese nuts, classic!" Laughed the brown-haired boy.

"What's your name, kid?" The GPU asked.

"Issei Hyoudou. I'm the Red Dragon Emperor and pawn of Rias Gremory!" Issei introduced himself.

"I'd shake your hand but I'm drenched in blood... But besides that, nice to meet you Issei." He acknowledged his state before turning to the redhead.

"And you must be Rias Gremory, I presume?" Inquired the deity.

"I certainly am. You're the one responsible for defeating Loki, I presume?" Mirroring his mannerisms, she had an impressed smile on her lips.

"You know that I know that you know the answer to that question." Brave Heart rolled his eyes, to the woman's amusement.

"And you, kiddo?" He asked the small girl.

"Koneko." Koneko simply answered, wary of the god's presence.

"Nice name, squirt." He complimented.

"Thanks, dude." She accepted his compliment, slightly peeved by the small connotations he gave her.

"If I may have your attention, Brave Heart," Sirzechs called for the deity's attention.

"Uh, sure. Whoever you are." Brave Heart turned to the red-haired man. "Wait... Sirzechs, right?" He fact-checked.

"Correct. You are not from this world, are you?" He asked the blue dimension hopper.

"Nope. I hail from a world far from this place. Because I came from such a distance, I'd appreciate some compensation for my efforts." Being honest, the deity asked for a reward for helping them with their problem.

"I see. very well then, how much gold do you desire?" Throwing the question out there, the demon lord obliged.

"No need, I am a humble gift taker. I desire something of utility."

"How about Rossweisse?" The Allfather offered.

"L-Lord Odin, you c-cannot be serious!" The blushing valkyrie stuttered.

"Is she useful?" Brave Heart asked.

"... You know what, I take that back." Remissed the leader of the pantheon.

"LORD ODIN!" Rossweisse's face glowed crimson.

"Aw, man. And she was hot, too." Looking around, he saw the black and blonde-haired man raise his hand.

"I may have something you seek." Confidence in his tone, he walked to the god.

"You got games on your phone?" A curious brow rose in jest.

"Snake, Pacman, and Russian Roulette with a pistol."

"Wait, what?" Blinked the foreign deity.

"I present to you, my prototype."He took something out of his pocket.

It was a gun. But not an ordinary one from what the deity could tell. Magic sensitivity dictated that the weapon was inherently made of materials that had a magic resonance, and the ammunition was highly reactive to magic, if not completely comprised of it.

It was mostly black and metal, with some orange highlights on the muzzle, and grip. It glistened in the light, being held on its side as it was presented to the deity,

"It's model is a LAR Grizzly Win Mag Mark V. I considered it a failure since putting a soul into a gun is about as difficult as it sounds. But since you're here, maybe you can do something with it." He explained.

"Like what? I beat Loki with my fists, not a stick." He clarified. "Besides, I doubt a gun can do much at this point." He downplayed the weapon.

"It's useful because it utilizes your magical energy as its source of power. in essence, more mana, more mayhem." Explained the man. "There's no one in Rias' peerage who's proficient with a firearm so you're basically the best choice for it, and that's saying something." He further elaborated.

'I think you should take it. A true warrior never restricts himself to one path, after all.' Vanns encouraged. 'And watching you struggle will be very rewarding, so this works well for the both of us.' He told his shoulder mate.

'... Fine.' Mentally sighed the GPU.

A magic gun sounded badass too.

"Thanks, kind sir. What's the name of the benefactor that gave me such a weapon?"

"The name's Azazel. Just a gift for making our lives easier." He introduced himself.

"Thanks, dude." He gave a thumbs-up before taking the weapon. It disappeared, going into the deity's inventory.

"I think it's time for me to go, on that note." He looked around, taking in all the faces that focused on him. "Before I go, I shall leave you all with this-" He cleared his throat.

"I'm in the drive through of Burger King-"

"Can I please get a double whopper junior with onion rings?"

"Make it a meal so I can get a drink-"

"No, I'm not finished that's not everything-"

"Can I please get a double whopper with no cheese?-"

"Can I please get 2 number 9s with a large drink?-"

"I got money so I don't care how much it costs me-"

"So just throw in some extra fries don't make 'em saltyyyyy!"

TELEPORT!

"Damn, that was a good song." A sigma-male-faced Issei nodded at the catchy lyrics.

"He literally sang about hamburgers, how good could it be?" A tall, dark-haired man deadpanned.

"It's stuck in my head if that counts for something, Sairaorg," Saji stated.

"That song made me hungry." Koneko admitted, her stomach grumbling with a slight blush.

"Well, I think I got some catnip right-" The Red Dragon Emperor pretended to dig in his pockets.

BIFF!

"OW!" Yet a swift jab to the gut was delivered.

---

TELEPORT!

"Are we there yet?" Vanns inquired.

"Yes, I'm the first GPU on the moon." Brave Heart spoke, as the air suddenly became incredibly cold and vacuous.

They stood on a pale grey surface, the blood floating off of his body before drifting into the cosmos.

The planet that Gamindustri resided on was right in front of them, hundreds of thousands of kilometers away with the two marveling at its shape. Many stars could be seen around them, near ones only a couple of light years away, and far ones that spanned hundreds of thousands if not a couple million light years away. If the GPU focused hard enough, he could even see the neighboring planet of Mars.

"So we ARE home. Make sure you mark this place so you don't get lost next time you decide to dimension travel." Reminded the ant.

"Don't have to tell me twice. Besides, what I have to do now is win that race." Brave Heart spoke.

Well, not really speak since there was no medium for sound to travel to.

More like mouthing the words and projecting his voice using telekinesis.

The effects of the vacuum had little effect on the god, besides some level of coldness as he used his shares for sustenance with the lack of usable oxygen.

Even though he could not hear as well without air to assist him, the GPU sensed some lifeforms nearby.

"What's this?... Aliens besides you, Vanns?" A goofy face graced the divine warrior.

"This chapter's getting long enough, just go home for fuck sake." Sighed the ant.

"Alright, I won't piss off the aliens. I'll piss on the aliens!" Jumping from the surface, Brave Heart floated off the surface of the moon.

"Intruder!" A little girl with rabbit ears screamed.

"Too late! You better hop to it next time!" Snickered the deity before flying into the space between Gamindustri and the Moon.

Taking out his pistol, the deity gangster aimed the weapon.

"Jackpot."

BOOM!

Pulling the trigger, an orange flash of light came from the muzzle as a .44 Magnum round flew at speeds the GPU thought impossible for conventional weaponry.

VANISH!

The rabbit dodged the bullet at the last second.

"She dodged my piss!" Gasped the deity

"How dare you to attack the pet of the Watatsuki Sister's pet! This will not go unpunished!"

"Unpunish these nuts!"

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

The angry whines of the moon rabbit became faint as he approached the exosphere of Gamindustri, firing more bullets to increase his speed and shut up the moon rabbit.

As he entered the atmosphere, friction occurred as a burning cone appeared in front of him.

The thermosphere became boiling but cooled down once the mesosphere was reached. After that, the clouds of the stratosphere were moved aside as Brave Heart spear-dived through the air.

Approaching Leanbox, he aimed for the capital city, exactly where the race started.

In the time the GPU was away, Gris and Quicksilver were once again neck and neck in the race.

ZOOM!

DASH!

Victory, in their grasp!

The place where they stared was fast approaching, and neither was backing down from claiming the prestigious title of first place.

Yet as they we on the verge of crossing their finish line-

CRASH!

TREMBLE!...

"?!" Both silver-haired speedsters stopped in their tracks.

The dust cleared, and Brave Heart was revealed, dumbass tree'd by the impact of his landing.

A sizeable crater was formed, but nothing too drastic, slowing the impact of his landing to not damage the city beyond a sidewalk.

"Nebula?" Gris was slightly surprised by the GPU's sudden appearance.

"How did he beat us?!" Quicksilver was lost for words. So the indented deity gave him two.

"Chaos Control." Muffled, he sped up his voice for them to understand him.

"...What?" Both recipients of the information were lost.

"It's a long story." Pulling his head out of the ground, a reverted Nebula looked at the two. "But at least I know I won." A cheeky smile.

"I call bullshit!" Gris scowled. "You definitely cheated." He dismissed.

"Is that a sore loser I hear, Gris?" A brow raised from the GPU with a smug look angered the edge lord.

"Whatever, at least this guy didn't win." He pointed at Quicksilver.

"Yeah, yeah. It was a good race though. Even if YOU cheated too, you hypocrite!" He called out the assassin.

"If you're not cheating, you're not trying. Sucks to suck." Shrugged the hitman.

"Stellar sportsmanship, Gris." Sweatdropped Nebula.

"Like you're one to talk, N-"

"Nebula!" Taleia's voice shouted.

"That's my cue to leave. Catch you on the flip side." The man bid farewell before he sped into the distance, refusing to elaborate.

The two GPUs turned.

"Did you manage to rid yourself of the blue shell?" MAGES. reminded Nebula, floating on her broomstick with the soldier elf.

"Oh yeah. That." Remembered the advertuer.

The impending sirens of doom echoed, the blue shell finally catching up to the blue boi.

VRRRT!

"Dondokodokodokodoko-"

Answering his phone, the adventurer picked up.

"Nebula? It's me, Rei." Rei answered the phone.

"Didja call off the blue shell yet?" Asked the sibling.

"It's gonna take 2-3 business days. Plus the fact you have a one hundred and fifty million Credit bounty doesn't help that much either. Wait, how did you get that bounty?!" The sister told the bad news.

"ASIC. Thanks anyway, Rei. Love ya, sis." He sucked up the failure and thanked his sister.

"You're welcome, Nebula." The brother could feel the appreciation through the phone.

And she hung up.

"Oh, woe is us. For we are going to be squad wiped by an angry flying turtle shell!" Dramatically shouting, he looked up, seeing the menacing missile of Lowee.

"Quick! Into that maid café!" The Mad Magican pointed before everyone ran inside.

"Reject annihilation, return to cute maids." Smiled the meme-lord.

As they entered, another blue shell descended.

"I've got you now-" Kars paused.

The trio were nowhere to be found.

"They must have hidden themselves. I'll find them soon enough." He mused to himself.

WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO!

Then his superior hearing picked up the sounds of sirens.

"What in the-"

BA-KOOM!

Before Kars could even finish his sentence, he was blindsided by the fearsome Blue Shell, a bright flash of light shining in the skies of Leanbox

---

"..." Vergo silently absorbed the ambiance of the city he once knew.

Buildings that were becoming worn and unkempt looked spick and span.

Tall trees were now nothing more than sprouting saplings.

He couldn't even recognize most faces he saw whenever he looked outside his window; every one was different.

Quite literally putting the era in a different era.

Yet the time traveler knew that these matters would both flourish and perish in the end.

But he couldn't bring himself to sit idly by.

So he traveled with the past versions of the CPUs and CPU Candidates to prevent the same from happening.

Yet he never actually gave them information to do so.

Only offered his assistance.

So it was time to change that.

"Vergo!" Uni shouted, causing the blonde to jolt out of his headspace.

"Aye!" Blurted the Leanboxian CPU Candidate.

"Are you ok? You were spacing out back there. You ignored a big flash of light in the sky." Nepgear being the concerned friend of the group made sure the man was alright.

"Y-Yeah, Nepgear. Appreciate the concern, lass. Wait, what light?" Smiled the brother of Vert as he gave a heartwarming grin, before contemplating the flash he missed.

Seeing a youthful version of Nepgear made her inexperience seem adorable. This made the time traveler engrossed in the conversation.

"O-Oh!" Not expecting something so juvenile yet endearing, the CPU Candidate had a faint tinge of pink on her cheeks from the childish expression on the male's face.

"Hmm..." Uni narrowed her eyes, suspicious of the lad.

"Uni...? What's the matter with you?" Noticing her face, the stud turned to her.

"You seem different." She pointed out.

"How so?" Asked Vergo. He started to sweat, wondering if she knew his origins.

"Just a feeling." She smirked, making him suspect her in a twist.

"So do you live here?" Uni asked the bloke.

"I moved a couple of days ago, yeah." Confirmed the time traveler. It wasn't completely false, since he technically migrated.

Just timelines instead of time zones.

"From where?" Cave asked next.

"A land far away." Trying to think of a place not on the map, he gave a vague answer.

"Lame." Ram booed.

"Please tell us, Mister Vergo...!" Begged Rom, using her puppy dog eyes.

Vergo's heart melted at the image Rom portrayed to him, the urge to cave in to the CPU Candidate's cuteness.

'...!'

Upon looking into those innocent blue eyes, Vergo saw a flashing image of the girl, bloodstained and crying.

He blinked.

"No can do. Super secret." He told them.

"Stop being a wuss and tell us, dude!" Ram had enough and wanted to know.

"Alright, calm down. No need for that type of behavior." Chided the redhead soldier.

"Yes, Ram. Don't be so pushy." Reaffirmed Nepgear, to the girl's chargin.

"Ugh, fine. But you better tell us!" She gave her last thoughts on the matter.

"Someday. But besides that, have you girls seen anywhere you want to go?" Getting back to the main topic, the blonde switched subjects.

"How about we go to the movies?" Nepgear threw out a suggestion.

"What movie would all four of us be interested in?" Uni was skeptical of the ideal.

"The Sanic Movie?" Rom put out.

"Those effects hurt my ears, sis." Ram denied, holding her ears from the bass destruction.

"How about Morbius?" Vergo opted.

"Ooo, I heard that one's pretty good!" The pink CPU Candidate agreed.

"Does it have guns?" Uni was curious.

"Nah, they morb." The accented bloke told her.

"...What?" She was vaguely interested in how that'd look.

"Then it's settled! Let's go to the movies!" Happy that a decision was made, the quintet made their way to the theatre.

"Yeah, before one of us begins to morb." Eye rolled the time traveler.

The walk was mostly quiet, until the blonde started another conversation.

"So while we walk there, how about you girls tell me about yourselves." Vergo started.

"And why should we do that? You won't even tell us about you." Uni made a good point.

"Yeah, what she said!" Ram loudly echoed the intent.

"Fine. Every time someone opens up, I'll give you a hint about myself." He started the ground rules.

It was a good way to ease them into the plot.

"Well, I'll start first." Nepgear volunteered.

"I really like messing around and tinkering with different kinds of hardware." She smiled.

"It's really fun to make things out of tech, no matter if it's vintage or advanced!" She became jolly at the thought of creating something.

"So have you actually made anything?" Cave, interested, asked her peer.

"Of course! I've made many things like robots, gadgets like the N-Gear," She showed them the device in her pocket.

"Coooool!" Ram and Rom both injected the device with intrigue, whilst Vergo rose his brow at the lass' ingenuity.

Uni might have remained mostly neutral, but deep down her respect for Nepgear's talent rose.

"I even managed to make a couple of complex projects. But the last time I worked on the Nepgeardam..." She gained a drop of comical sweat.

"You almost nuked Planeptune." Vergo blurted. The others looked at him shocked.

"H-How did you...!" Surprised that the blonde knew, her eyes widened to comical saucers.

"Reasons." He gave a paltry answer.

The looks of unimpressed CPU Candidates sans the shocked Nepgear made him sigh.

"I'll cave." He punned, as a neutral expression remained on the redhead's face, with the exception of a raised brow.

"I have a network that allows me to know about certain events not accessible to the public." Revealed the bloke.

It was actually just his phone with its recollection of future events from his own timeline. The more intervened, the less accurate it would become, so he tried to only give them the bare minimum details.

"What's the name of this network?" Nepgear asked, concerned about how they knew about an incident that Planeptune tried to cover up.

"Can't say. I mean it this time, I already spilled some beans. If I tip the can, they cut me off." The CPU Candidate time traveler told the quartet before they could look at him.

"Alright." Nepgear accepted.

"Oh..." Rom sounded.

"Whatever." Uni eye-rolled.

"Yeah, yeah." Ram huffed.

"Understood." Cave nodded.

"So how about you, Uni? Do you do anything interesting?" A smug look to the markswoman made her respond with a similar vibe.

"I collect different types of guns." She told the group.

"That sounds cool." Initiating the sigma nod, he could respect the CPU Candidate's love for guns.

"Can you tell us about your collection?" Ram wanted to know what kind of guns Blanc didn't let them look up on the net she had.

"Pistols, revolvers, semi, burst, and fully automatic rifles, shotguns, snipers, rocket and grenade launchers, SMGs, LMGs, DMRs, flamethrowers, laser rifles, ice rays..." She started to get lost in her own world, talking about her firearm collection.

"Ammunition falls into this list as well, l hope? Or do you play with empty mags?" Enjoying her little tangent, the blonde added fuel to the fire.

"Totally! Incendiary, hollow point, slugs, armor piercing, FMJ, .45 and .380 ACP, .357 Magnum, .308 Winchester, 9mm, 10mm, 7.62x39mm, 12.7x42mm, 14.5x114mm, PG-7VL, PG-7V, OG-7V, TBG-7V, grenade rounds-" She caught herself rambling the second she saw the smiling face of the blonde and the straight faces of the other girls.

"Mods?..." A face that yearned for the CPU Candidate of Lastation to continue to babble.

"Vergo, please-" Nepgear tried to stop him, but Uni's mouth switched to full auto.

"Silencers, suppressors, loudeners, compressors, muzzle brakes, foldable grips, potato grips, vertical grips, angled grips, pistol grips, delta sights, comp aimpoints, reflex sights, lyman sights, MARS sights, ACOG sights, NXS sights, extended magazines, drum magazines, collapsible stocks, extended stocks, laser attachments-"

"ALRIGHT, we get it Uni!" Ram screamed, the talking becoming too incessant for her little ears.

The Lastationite CPU Candidate's face suddenly flushed, realizing that she had been going on about her hobby for a little too long.

"Very nice, Uni. Have you ever considered rapping?" Vergo recommended. "That mouth o' yours moves a hundred miles a minute!" Holding his laughter, the blonde took in the red face of the goddess.

"Screw you, Vergo!" She huffed folding her arms. "That's the last time I talk to you guys about guns." She was in her feelings.

"Wait, what? I encouraged you!" Flabbergasted, the time traveler was aghast at the blame reaching to lick his boots.

"You only encouraged me to make me look stupid!" Her voice hurt, she didn't even bother to look him in the eyes.

"That's... Not completely false. I wanted you to talk about your hobbies because I really was interested. It's your fault you decided to replace your lips with an AO-63 muzzle." Vergo explained himself.

"Hey- How did you know that's one of the fastest-firing gun?" Her embarrassment reloaded into skepticism.

"I didn't until you told me." A snide grin made the girl register the fact that she outed herself.

Again.

"Why you... Baka blonde!" She accused, giving the brother of Vert a nickname.

Vergo POV: bruh

"Ahahahaha! Baka blonde! Wow, Uni, that's funny!" Dying of laughter, the child couldn't help but bust a gut.

"Hehe..." Even Rom let out a small giggle.

"Uni, you shouldn't talk to Vergo like that, he really was trying to get to know you." She tried to come to the time traveler's defense.

"Sure he was. Now tell us something about yourself, baka blonde." Getting on the Leanboxian's case, she sent a dull glare to the man.

"Alright. Since you're gonna act like this... Noire isn't the person you should be emulating, all work and no play makes her a dull goddess. Besides, you should be unique, don't you reckon? take it from me, I'm actually different from my sister." He flaunted, to the gun girl's annoyance.

"You have a sister?" Nepgear was surprised.

"Ooo, what's her name?" Ram jumped at the opportunity to learn the sibling's name.

"Yeah, tell us, Mister Vergo! I really wanna know!" Rom became equally as eager.

"Her name's Verrrrrrrrrrrrrr-"

windows 7 blue screen sound effect

windows 7 shut down...

windows 7 start up-

"-onica. Veronica. Yes, her name is Veronica." He awkwardly smiled, the sweat barely visible as the others bought it, Uni not so much.

"Can you tell us about Veronica, Vergo?" Interested, the RRoD member was intrigued by the deity's sister.

"Well, she's... Hey, we're at the theatre, guys!" Pointing to the building with a surprised look, akin to a wojak.

"Saved by the bell, huh?" Muttering under her breath, Lastation's CPU Candidate was all but trusting of Vergo's demeanor.

They made their way to the line, yet it was full of people.

"Aw man, there's a whole line!" Ram moaned.

"So no movie?" Rom, dejected, sniffled.

"There's gotta be a faster way for us to get some tickets, right?" Nepgear wondered.

"I don't think this line's moving anytime soon. Never thoughts many people wanted to morb before." Uni folder her arms in observation.

Vergo analyzed the situation. It was going to be a while before they could reach the movie at this rate.

So he came up with a plan; get the others out of sight, then transform, and demand tickets on behalf of saving Leanbox.

"How about you guys go ahead and get some food? I'll hold our spot while you're gone." He offered.

"That sounds good. Who wants to go with me?" Nepgear volunteered once again.

"We'll go!" Rom and Ram unanimously shouted.

"I shall also assist in this endeavor." Cave joined in.

"Then I'll stay here," Uni spoke, throwing a monkey wrench in the blonde's plans.

"Somebody's gotta stay put if you need a bathroom break." She gave her reasoning.

Although it was annoying, the time traveler could not argue with impeccable logic.

"Well, it seems legit." Sighed the blondie, as the girls left.

The two waited, moving at about a space a minute. A bored Vergo and sour Uni made the experience move that much slower.

"I don't have time for this." A deep, menacing grumbled behind the CPU Candidates.

"U wot m8?" Vergo turned around and saw the individual.

A dark-skinned man in sunglasses, with a high-top fade wearing a black trench coat with dark under armor, black gloves, and black fitted pants with combat boots to match stood at 6'2" with a long double-edged eastern-style sword hanging on his back. A scowl was evident on his face as he walked out of his spot in line and approached the ticket booth.

"Hey, you can't just skip in line!" A waiting person complained.

"Get back in line!" Another individual complained.

Ignoring the wage-slave brokies, the man made his way to the booth.

Vergo and Uni peeked ahead to see what was going on.

"Did you see what that guy just did?! He totally just skipped us and all these people!" Uni explained the obvious.

"Yes, Uni. What revolutionary information. The world kowtows to your nigh-omniscience." He mocked her words.

"Give me a ticket to Morbius." He practically ordered.

"Uh, I'm sorry sir, but you have to wait for you ticket like the rest of the customers."

SHATTER!

Punching a hole through the glass, he gripped the clerk by the neck.

"A ticket to Morbius. Or a ticket to hell. You pick." The man gave the worker an ultimatum.

"OI! Put down the clerk, ya bloody shithead!" Vergo walked out of the line, risking the spot had Uni been there.

"Baka blonde, you can't just leave me here!" She exclaimed. Yet the time traveler had long ignored the twin-tailed goddess.

Vergo approached the violent man, yet before he could put his hand on his shoulder...

BAM!

"Urk?!"

"GASP!"

Vergo felt the indent of a foot in his gut, as he slid back.

"Social distancing, ever heard of it?" The man quipped.

Dusting off his shirt, the bloke stood up.

"What are you doing, don't start a fight!" Warned the gun-toting goddess.

"Listen to your little girlfriend, punk." The antagonizing man warned.

"G-G-Girlfriend?!" Uni stuttered.

"Girlfriend? I wouldn't shag that in a hazmat suit, bruv. Come on now, I have standards." Scoffed the blonde.

"Screw you, Vergo!" Screamed the mini-tsun.

"Hey, I said you're NOT my girlfriend!" Laughed the CPU Candidate, which made the twin-tail goddess seethe.

"It seems you two have some things to sort out. Lemme guess, it's complicated?" The man assumed.

"I'm gonna complicate ya fokin' facial structure!" Digging into his inventory, the blonde acted quickly.

He tried to fight his English urges, but the obsidian knife DIO used emerged from his pocket to his annoyance.

"Bloody 'ell." He sighed, as the line gasped.

Dropping the ticket booth employee, the man sensed the presence of a vampire around the blade that the CPU Candidate held.

"Then I'll simplify your corpse." Becoming aggressive, the man walked up to Vergo to sort him out.

The line soon dispersed into a circling crowd as the bystanders pulled out their phones to take videos of the altercation.

"WORLDSTAR!"

"Hey, dude what's your Twatter handle? Gotta at you if you lose!"

"Vergo, what the heck!" Uni did not want things to go in this manner, yet as the plot allowed it, it did.

"I can't just watch him bully my-... Country's people!" Replacing a slip-up with patriotism, he readied his knife.

The man went to grab the blonde's wrist, but the time traveler flicked the weapon to his free hand as his other wrist was grabbed.

Vergo went to splash (stab for you non-brits) his opponent with the knife.

GRIP!-

Twisting the wrist to the side, he forced the blonde's hand into an awkward hold to make him drop the knife.

CLANG!

The knife dropped to the ground with the man's surge of strength making the Leanboxian buckle.

PANG!

SCHLICK!

Yet as the blade hit the ground, Vergo kicked the handle back up as the weapon spun and buried itself into the man's side.

"Grr!"

BIFF!

Angered at the damage he sustained, the man sucker-punched the brit in the jaw, spit flying from his mouth as he staggered.

"Ptoo! I'm gonna dip this opp like the chatty bum he is!" Spitting out some blood, Vergo reached for the knife and pulled it out as blood splattered on the ground.

"Hrrg!"

POW!

SWING!-

BLOCK!

A high kick to the chin sent the bloke back, but he stopped himself before another attack could land, blocking a roundhouse kick with his forearm.

STAB!

THROW!

Using his aerokinesis, he kept the leg pressed on his arm for a moment longer to sink the obsidian blade into the man's shin before tossing hid foot down to set him off balance.

ZOOM!

Stepping ahead with Soru, he reeled his knife hand back, preparing to slice the man.

The man's face was sweating, the effects of the knife starting to be inflicted.

BOOM!...

Tossing his attacker's hand to the side, the man opened up Vergo for a devastating liver punch as the impact was loud and disturbing.

"UAGHK!-"

Vergo's body trembled, his posture deteriorating from the painful sensation that crippled his fighting ability.

He collapsed to a knee, wincing in pain.

Taking out his sword, the man's 5-foot-long blade was swung overhead, as a means to cut him in half.

GASP!-

RATATATATATATATA!

A collective gasp from the audience made Uni pull out her weapon, and start to fire on the man.

CLING-CLANG-CLING-CLANG-PANG!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The gunfire causes the crowd to spread in terror, fearing for their lives as the man deflected the goddess' shells as they flew all over.

"N-No!..."

PAUSE!-

Raising his hand in the air, the blonde paused the flow of the bullets, preventing them from reaching any further, hitting stray targets in the process.

...!

WOOSH!

The blonde pointed down as he groaned from the pain, the bullets turning to where the man stood before they rushed to his position.

SLASH!

Cutting all the bullets in one fell swoop, the man looked to the downed opponent.

BANG!

Uni shot again, momentarily distracting the man as he parried another bullet.

Using the moment, Vergo sweep-kicked the man to trip him up.

SMASH!

"Urk!"

Yet he stabbed his sword into the ground, grabbed on the hilt, and swung around whilst holding on before kicking the blonde patriot in the face. He slid away, tumbling through the ground from the force applied.

DASH!

RATATATATATATA!-

CLING-CLANG-CLING-CLANG-CLING-CLANG-CLING-CLANG-CLANG!

Grabbing his sword, the dark-skinned man ran to Uni's position, as she fired. Her bullets were ultimately parried as he closed the gap, ready to slice her apart.

GUST!...

Yet the aggressor found his body difficult to move with the wind pulling him back.

He turned, before seeing Vergo using his hand to create a vacuum at his palm for the air to be suctioned into the palm to create a gust of opposing wind for the opponent to make it harder for him to reach Uni.

Taking out some shuriken, he threw them in the wind.

ZOOM!

SLICE!-

"Gah!" Vergo's wind accelerated their speed to levels that could actually harm him as the projectiles sank into his body as he flinched.

"Vergo!"

GRATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!

Uni yelled his actual name in concern before emptying her magazine.

Yet the man simply stuck out his hand in the path the bullets took, and collected the compressed shells before crushing them in front of the goddess' face, letting the remains of her ammo fly in the wind.

"My turn." Pulling out an Action Express, the man squeezed the trigger.

BOOM!

Uni was shot in the head.

Her head recoiled, yet when the casing dropped, she only sustained a bruise on her forehead.

"Uno reverse card."

BANG!

Noire's sister pulled out a USP 45 handgun, and shot the man in his forehead, causing him to be knocked back into the gust.

BOOM! BOOM!-

PING! PANG!

Grunting, the man fired some more shots from his gun. But Uni was not only fast enough, but accurate enough to fire her gun in the exact position to hit the moving bullets, a showing of adept gunslinging.

Twisting, the dark-clad swordsman used his momentum to heave his body and swing his sword with the blade becoming nothing short of a shining speedline.

"!"

Vergo's perception allowed him to see the man's movement through his wind, realizing that he aiming for his neck. He approached quickly, preparing for a devastating slash.

PARRY-

SHATTER!

The obsidian blade that the blonde used to block was broken, shards flying as he felt the blade inches from his nape.

SCHING!...

...

...

...!

The man's eyebrows rose with an unpleasant surprise, the wind stopping its roar.

"Shatter ma dippa then swing for man's neck?" Asking the question in mock shock, Armament Haki appeared in a large blotch where the time traveler would've sustained a nasty wound.

"MAD!"

WHOOSH!

Punching the assaulter in the stomach, his hand ignited in flame by the knuckles before the hit landed which created an combustion of flame as the dark-skinned man's clothes became slightly tarnished.

But he was far from done, because...

ZOOM!-...

HOOK!

One of his gloves was actually a prosthetic hand, and used it as a grappling device! It hooked onto a nearby streetlight just behind Vergo, wrapping around the cylindrical object.

YANK!

Pulling him, his body recoiled almost instantly, which made the blonde flinch in reaction.

THOOM!

"ARGH!"

Dropkicking the lad in the chest, two boot indents found themselves into the boy's shirt before he was sent flying by the impact.

SHATTER!

He was sent through a store window, before hitting the front desk counter.

"Hey now! Watch where you're fightin' kid!" An old man with whitish hair, and the name card 'Stan' walked from around the front to check on the random person that just busted through his shop.

"Sorry, sir. Some bellend's givin' trouble outside, so I had to step in. But he's a tough biscuit." Calming down a bit, he dusted off the shards with his wind before getting up.

"And who's the guy that thought it'd be a good idea to throw you through my window?" Ready to take matters into his own hands, he rolled up his sleeves.

"No need to get yourself worked up, gramps. I'll handle it-" He was going to stop the senior from hassling himself, but the man already left the shop through the very same window.

Unhooking his hook, the man rushed Uni with the intention to close the gap.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Taking out another USP, she wielded akimbo handguns and fired.

CLING!

CLANG!

PANG!..

The bladed assailant deflected, parried, sliced, and dodged the last bullet.

PING!-

ZIP!

Yet the last bullet ricocheted off of the same streetlight and hit another metallic surface, being the corner of a bench and rushed behind the aggresor.

Uni smiled, thinking that she'd caught him off guard.

WEAVE!

Yet she didn't anticipate the senses of her opponent to be keen enough to hear the bullet's trajectory and sidestep.

STEP!-

But as she dodged her own bullet, the man banked on the direction she'd move, which was the same as his. That wasn't apparent until Uni had successfully dodged the shell-

WHAM!

"Ack!"

Only to be elbowed in the face by the man who'd completely closed the gap in the time it took for her to dodge.

She was knocked onto her side, their dialogue commencing.

"This can of whoop ass too much for ya? More daywalkers in this world than I thought..." Muttered the man.

Confidence radiating from the man, he pointed his sword at her neck.

"Tch...!" She winced, not expecting such skill from a mere human.

"This bill you're gonna pay for my glass is definitely gonna be too much for ya, bucko!" Stomping into the fray, the old man walked over to the two.

"H-Huh?..." The CPU Candidate of Lastation was confused.

"Mr. Lee? Shit, my bad." He looked over at the collateral damage he did to the shop.

"Bloody fokin' right my bad, you run up on some piff ting with a stick and a rambo for some bomboclaat ticket." Vergo pointed out, as he walked to Uni and helped her up.

BANG!-

The stranger fired his gun at his point blank adversary, but he caught the bullet without even looking, his observational prowess surprising both the store owner and the attacker.

"I-I could've gotten up on my on, y'know..." The CPU Candidate muttered, embarrassed.

"You could've, but friends don't leave each other on the ground."

"Whatever." She looked away from him, her eyes meek with vulnerability.

Wiping off the dust on her forehead, he noticed that the smell of garlic was on the bruise.

"That's how you treat a lady. Not whatever the heck you were doing." The old mam shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. But how come you're still alive?" The man was impressed.

"Takes more than that to put me down. But you pack a hell of a punch... Er..." Unknowing of the man's name, the stranger did the honors.

"Blade." Blade introduced himself. "Vampire hunter." He announced his profession.

"Vergo. Speaking of which, we could've really used you some hours ago."

"Vampire problem?" Inquired the hunter.

"He almost destroyed the country." The time traveler grumbled, before letting Uni stand on her own.

"And you didn't tell me?!" Blade shouted.

"I didn't know where you were! I don't even have a contact- How the bloody 'ell were yew supposed to pull up on man's ends?" Vergo retorted, causing the man to notice his accent.

"Worse yet, you're a fellow Brit." He sighed.

"Please tell me you're not from Birmingham." The vampire hunter's face grimaced.

"Oy, what's wrong with me accent? I'll 'ave yew know that Birmingham is... A propah fockin' shithole, I completely agree, bruv." A nod of understanding was shared between the two as they shook hands.

"Brummies don't like it, the rest of England tries to ignore it, it's figuratively and literally mid, what's not to love?" Sarcasm oozed from the blonde. "Where are yew from?" Vergo asked.

"Soho's my birthplace."

"South of Houston Street? Peng. London stabbings died down yet?"

"Never. It's our culture at this point. That and Brixton bullies slide with the bo'e -"

"No, Blade. Just... No." Shaking his head, he prevented a reason to become a drill.

"Also, the Queen did not clutch the gulag."

"SHE WHAT-"

"Did they just gain mutual understanding from shared disdain?" Uni was surprised.

"That's how people work sometimes. Blade, you still have to pay for the damages." The shopkeeper reminded.

"Alright. I said I'll pay." Repeated the vamp hunter.

"I'm just gonna throw this out there, but do you have tickets for Morbius?" Uni asked the old man.

"I got five, take it or leave it." He offered the girl.

"Thanks!" She snatched them out of his hands. Never did the girl expect something that seemed narratively contrived to appear so easily. Maybe the old man was more special than she thought.

"Who is that guy?" Questioned Vergo.

"Mr. Lee is a man of many talents." Blade simply answered, putting his sword away.

"Where's my ticket?" He almost demanded.

"You'll get your ticket when you fix this damn window!" The elder shouted.

"Fine. Here's my contact. Call when you see any bloodsuckers." Blade gave him a slip with his contact information. Taking the piece of paper, the blonde shook the man's hand.

"Jolly good show. Don't attack random civilians again though."

"Don't lecture me, brummie." Walking off, the man put away his gun and walked into the movie theatre.

"Piss off!" Shouted the brit, huffing.

"Well, I'll be going back to my shop. When Blade comes out of the movies, hail me so I can press him for window money. Those things are NOT cheap." Stan told them, before walking back inside his shop.

"Will do." Nodded the brit, before he and the CPU Candidate of Lastation walked into the theatre's entrance and subsequent food court.

As they arrived, their eyes were met with-

"I TOOK THE WOOOOOOOOOOCK TO POLAAAAAAND!"

"I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI! YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

"WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!"

"WHO PUT CHEESE IN MY CHEESEBURGER-"

Memes.

Many memes.

"Neptune would absolutely love it here." Snorted the Leanboxian CPU Candidate.

Seeing that one could not go a few seconds without hearing an obnoxious noise, the pudding-loving goddess would truly admire the setting indeed.

"I'm sure she would, but where's her sister?" Uni asked, trying to find Nepgear within the midst of memetic madness.

"Guys, heeey!" Ram shouted, for once her loudness being quite useful, gathering the attention if both Candidates.

"Ram!" They both shouted back, before meeting up with her.

"Cheerio, Ram. Perchance, know where the others are?" Vergo inquired.

"I think it's purchase, Vergo." Ram corrected, earning a frown from the brit.

"Did you get the food? Where's your sister and Nepgear?" Uni asked the important questions.

"Rom's trying to get an amogus plushie from the crane machine with Cave. I told her it's a scam but..." She pointed.

"C'mon..." Rom moved the joystick controlling the hand, desperately scratching the head of the imposter plushie.

"That sweet summer child." Vergo's words conveyed his pity for the poor girl.

"What about Nepgear?" Uni reminded.

"She's talking to a nun about... Uhhh... Honk-eye?" The little CPU Candidate couldn't pronounce the word.

"What could that be? Sounds like a codename for an illegal substance."

"No, I think it was Hou-kai?" Ram tried again.

"It's Honkai." Vergo blurted the answer. This caused the two goddesses to look at him.

'I thought they were all exterminated... But I guess since I'm in the past, I'm either experiencing their emergence or growth in real time.' Concluded the blonde brit.

"How do you know about that?" Uni gave the time traveler, unbeknownst to her, a scrutinizing look.

"My previous nation had a massive problem with it. One of the reasons I moved." Creating lore/propaganda, he gave himself an alibi.

"Then what are they?" Ram questioned, the englishman internally molding at the appropriate question that put him on the spot.

"They take many forms, but Honkai in essence are manifestations of a sentient cyclical phenomenon of disastrous proportions; they appear at specific, rhythmic intervals in history and wreak havoc on civilization, signifying its omega." Vergo gave a cryptic description of the subject matter.

"W-What?!" Ram because frightful at the information presented to her.

"And Nepgear's talking to this woman?! We gotta find her!" Uni became frantic.

"Come on, Rom!" The pink CPU Candidate hailed her sister, who was still fidgeting with the crane machine.

"But Raaaam! I wanna be sussy!" She complained.

"Let us go, child." Cave walked with the little girl, Rom reaching for the sussy baka plush.

"Nooooo!" The ONE time the imposter was supposed to drop into the vent and the girl's hands, it didn't.

What a cruel machine.

The four moved to a discreet corner where one could hear oneself think without the obnoxiously saturated sounds of someone's Neppit feed that was in the open.

There, they saw Neptune with the trays of food on the table, sitting as she spoke to someone on the other seat, some of their features visible.

She wore a black and white coif with a white guimpe that went up to her neck. A silver rosary hang around her neck as she sat down. Black puffy sleeves revealed white gloves that were politely kept on her lap.

As the group approached closer, they noticed that her top had some belts tied to her arms on both ends, as well as her dress had a long cross pattern on the front. Yet from her waist with two silver accessories on either side that clipped the robe where th4 cross pattern hung, her legs were practically exposed.

Sizeable thighs that were crossed over one another, even with a belt wrapped around them in some weird attempt at chastity only made it seem even more immoral. Not to mention how she was dressed basically showed that she was going commando.

Finally, the woman wore some white stockings that were mostly covered up by black thigh-high shoes with white undersoles.

The CPU Candidates met up with the one who hailed from Planeptune as she was discussing with the nun.

"Nepgear!" Vergo shouted.

"Eep! I'm right here, Vergo." Nepgear turned to face the blonde. "Oh, did you get the tickets by the way?" She reminded him.

"Yeah, movie starts in 15 minutes." He told her, momentarily putting off the matter.

"Why are you talking about armageddon with some random nun, Nepgear?!" The Lastationite goddess brought the conversation back on track.

"Armageddon?" The lady that she was talking to interjected.

"Yeah, Honk-eye are really bad n' stuff! You probably have some illegal stuff on you!"

"It's Honkai, child. And no, I do not have anything I should not have. I was just talking to this lovely young lady about where exactly I am." She attempted to clear any suspicion.

"So you're telling me, you're not here to talk about your lord and savior being the Will of Honkai?" Vergo raised a suspicious brow, worthy of the amogus theme song.

"Heavens no! Nepgear has told me no such thing exists here! This world is honkai-free, exactly what I've been dreaming of for my old world..." She beamed but slowly dimmed as she thought about her past experiences.

"Oh." A look of clarity washed over all the Candidates sans Nepgear and an attentive Cave.

"See everyone? She's fine. This nun even says she'll help us fight ASIC!" The CPU Candidate of Planeptune's mutual discontent for the syndicate painted her as trustworthy.

"Buy you don't even know her name yet..." The blue CPU Candidate of Lowee told the purple-haired girl.

"Apologies, everyone. My name is Kallen Kaslana. It's certainly a pleasure to meet all of you."

She got up from her chair and curtsied, showing distinct mannerisms from a time of old.

"Well, Kallen. Oy em Vergo. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, madam."

"I'm Uni. Good to meet you, Kallen."

"I'm Ram! Nice to meet'cha, Call in."

"I'm Rom... It's nice to meet you, Miss Kallen."

The CPU Candidates minded their own members whilst introducing themselves to the nun.

"So what do we do until it's time to watch the movie?" Nepgear asked, turning to the group.

"What's a movie?" Kallen asked, perplexed.

"..."

The group looked at her, sweat dropping.

'Oh boy. This lass is in for one enormous culture shock, isn't she?' A crooked smile parted the time traveler's lips.

"It's better if we just show you, it's about vampires." Nepgear got up from her seat.

"I suppose I'll take your word for it. Wait, vampires exist in this world?" She became put off.

"Killed one yesterday. Let's go watch Morbius." Vergo casually moved along to the theatre room.

"Wait, you don't just brush over something like that!" Kallen was still on yesterday's news.

"I didn't even get to look at DIO, but I can see Mobius in 4K ULTRA HD!" Ram was jubilant on watching the film, following the blonde.

"If I can't be sus, then I'll morb!" Rom spewing out lingo that the nun could only describe as jibberish, she followed her twin at her side.

"Come on, Kallen. Do you have a ticket?" She asked.

"What is this ticket?"

"Just follow me." Sighed the Lastationite, not wanting to explain something to enter the room of a movie she could be watching.

They walked past an unconscious man dressed in an employee outfit, most likely the ticket collector.

"Um... Who is that?" The curious nun pointed.

"Don't think about it." Vergo waved, who couldn't be asked after a dropkick cost him his patience to account for Blade.

Reaching the seats they desired, the six sat upon the seats that lined up right next to each other, in the order of Nepgear, Uni, Rom, Ram, Cave, Vergo, and Kallen.

"So, what do we do now?" Kallen asked quietly.

"We wait." The time traveler whispered back.

...

...

...

"What are we waiting for, exactly?"

"For the chapter to end-"

---

A/N:

And I'm done.

Hello, my ever-so-faithful readers! I'm back from the depths of writer purgatory with some heat! WE MAKIN' IT OUT OF THE DISCORD SERVER WITH THIS ONE! Let him cook, now!

Besides that, I'll also take the liberty of responding to some comments.

Feld - OF COURSE IMMA GO BUCK WILD! IT'S NOT MEMES IF THEY DON'T COME DEEP-FRIED AND SPRINKLED WITH THE SALT OF A COMPETITIVE GAMING TOURNAMENT! TIME TO GO MENTAL BRUV, ABSOLUTELY BONKERS-

And yes, Kars is very much a neutral party at this point in the story. Will it stay that way, for better or for worse is up to the story.

And speaking of which, we've finally dealt with all of the main stuff, so I think it's time for a little "relaxation", and by relaxation I mean hijinks that barely register as canon material.

But I'll give you readers a rule of thumb to follow from now on; every gag has the possibility to be a plot device.

Why? Cuz infinite memes, that's why.

Thank you for reading this chapter, please leave a favorite and follow. Don't forget to leave a comment, any feedback gives be the MOTIVATION and POWER to continue writing this story.

So I hope you beautiful people have an amazing day, and continue your awesome support.

Arrivederci.