Leia slept in the lounge, staying up far past the time Han retired so she wouldn't have to explain anything. She had intended to sleep in the crew cabin, but Luke was still upset, and when Luke was upset, the entire room felt suffocating. It was bad enough being on the same ship; sleeping in the same cabin was out of the question.
She curled up on one of the benches, using her arm as a pillow and resisting shivering with all her might. In her hurry to leave the cabin after using the 'fresher earlier in the evening, she had failed to grab a blanket, and she didn't want to go in there now and all but announce to Luke that she couldn't bear to be in the same room as him.
Leia slept fitfully until a light shone down on her, practically assaulting her eyes and causing her to jerk awake. She sat up, heart pounding, and squinted in the light, searching for the whoever had deemed it necessary to blind her in the middle of the night.
Han started when he saw her, one hand pressed to his bare chest, the other grasping instinctively at his hip, obviously expecting to find his blaster. He dropped both his hands quickly and raised his eyebrows at Leia.
"What are you doin' lurking in the dark?" he asked, his tone deceptively calm considering he had just been feeling around for a weapon.
Leia considered saying she'd fallen asleep accidentally, that the lights had turned off on their own, but she thought better of it. Han would just tell her to go to bed. But, maybe if she explained…Maybe he'll offer to swap. He had offered his cabin to her at the beginning of the trip after all.
"I was asleep," she said primly, folding her hands in her lap and shifting her gaze until she settled on looking directly at his face. She had seen Han — and most of the men at the outpost, for that matter — shirtless before, but never in such close quarters. Looking at his torso even briefly felt like ogling somehow, so his face seemed the safest area to focus on.
Han glanced in the direction of the crew cabin. "The kid kick you out or somethin'?"
Leia shook her head. "Earlier we…He's upset at me and…" She trailed off, unsure of how to explain.
Han tensed his jaw. "Somethin' happen to make you uncomfortable?" he asked carefully, again flicking his eyes toward the cabin.
Her eyes widened at the implication and she shook her head vigorously. "Nothing like that. No. We sort of had a fight. He's upset, and you know how when he's upset, it makes the whole room feel heavy? I just can't sleep in there."
Han frowned and scratched his jaw absently. "Can't say I've noticed the room feeling heavy." He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, sipping at it as he walked closer to her.
"You haven't? It's downright oppressive-feeling. I think it might be a Force thing, like he can project his emotions or something."
"Well, that solves it. I must be Force-immune."
Leia rolled her eyes. "I thought I'd sleep out here for the night. I'm sure we'll make up in the morning."
Han shook his head, glancing over the spot where she had been sleeping. "You didn't grab a blanket? Aren't you cold?"
She bit her lip and looked at her hands. "I don't want Luke to know that I chose to sleep out here. He'll feel even worse and he didn't…he didn't really do anything wrong. I just need some space."
Han retreated into his cabin without saying a word, Leia peered after him, wondering why he wouldn't at least tell her if he was going back to bed before leaving the room. He didn't shut the door, though. He must be looking for something. Maybe switching is still an option. I should have taken him up on his cabin in the first—
He returned with a pillow and a small stack of shabby blankets, which he dropped in a pile next to Leia. She noted with a small bit of relief that he had pulled a shirt on as well. Han grimaced slightly. "Look, I know you're probably hoping I'll offer to switch with ya, but I can't be choosin' sides between the two of you if no one did anything wrong."
"I said Luke didn't do anything wrong," Leia muttered, bouncing her gaze between the pile of bedding and Han's eyes, feeling guilty for her own disappointment.
"Well, then, I definitely can't be choosin' sides."
She nodded slowly and ran her hand over the pillow. "Right. Of course."
"Pick any other being on base and I got your back."
Leia looked up at him, smirking mischievously. "Even Chewie?"
Han took a seat, the pile of blankets keeping him at a distance. He waved his hand carelessly. "Been tryin' to get rid of that guy for years."
She rolled her eyes. "You have not."
Han scoffed, smiling. "Nah, not really." He looked her in the eye. "He takes your side mosta the time anyway."
Leia laughed. "Well, I am the only one who will play dejarik with him."
A brief moment of silence followed. Han cleared his throat. "What happened? With you an' Luke?"
She shook her head. "After seeing…earlier, when we were strapping in…" Leia shrugged. "He was trying to be nice, but he said he knew what I was going through and…he doesn't. No one could possibly know. Even…even other Alderaanians…they didn't watch it happen. They don't have to…" She trailed off. They don't have to wonder if they could have stopped it. She couldn't verbalize the thought. "I reacted poorly. But he…he doesn't understand. No one understands. No one."
Han furrowed his brow. "You don't exactly give 'em a chance to, Leia. You never talk about any of it."
Leia's eyes narrowed and she set her jaw. "The entire galaxy has heard about my stay on the Death Star from my own mouth." She had never gone into graphic detail on the propaganda holos, and she had left some events out entirely, but just about everyone knew she had been tortured and made to watch as Alderaan was destroyed. "There's nothing else I want to tell anyone."
"I'm not sayin' anyone needs to know anything you don't want them to." Han rubbed the back of his neck and swore under his breath. "I'm probly the worst person to be sayin' this, but you don't talk about any of it. Not really. Not so anyone would know what you're going through."
The bulkhead surrounding the lounge was caving in and, suddenly, being in the crew cabin with all of Luke's suffocating distress sounded like a much better option than sitting there with Han. She stared at the soft, worn pillowcase and the frayed edge of a blanket, trying to decide if she wanted to get up and leave.
Han continued, apparently undeterred by her silence. "I'm not sayin' you need to talk to me. Or Luke. Or anyone you don't want to. But gettin' upset because someone doesn't understand when you haven't given 'em a chance to, that ain't fair, Princess. You don't even talk about what you miss."
"I talk about what needs to be talked about," Leia said tightly.
Han hesitated. "Leia, I've heard more stories about your old man from Wedge Antilles than I have from you. And I've gotten the impression you talk to me more than most."
Leia felt her face flush, some mixture of anger, shame, and sadness flaring in her chest. It was true, she didn't tell stories about her parents. She thought about them every day. Their absence was a constant presence, filling the empty space around her heart and lungs and adding an ever-growing heaviness to her entire being. Talking about them felt inadequate, insulting. Mere words couldn't express the depth of her loss.
Defenses raised, she met Han's gaze with her own. "Never heard you talk about your old man either."
He bristled, his eyes cold. "Yeah, well, if he'd given a damn about me, maybe you would've."
"Never heard you talk about any family at all, actually." Leia knew she was fighting dirty, redirecting to what she assumed was an emotionally fraught subject, but she felt cornered and didn't know another way out of the conversation.
"Never had any family that was worth talkin' about." A flash of guilt passed over his face, as if he regretted what he'd said. He shook his head and spoke almost to himself. "My ma died when I was real little. She was probly worth talkin' about, but I don't remember a lot."
In the year she had known him, Han hadn't ever mentioned family. He would occasionally mention old associates, people Leia generally understood to be untrustworthy or at least unsavory. He wasn't wrong that she talked to him more than most people on base, but they centered nearly all of their conversations on the present, neither seeming particularly eager to revisit the past. Now that he'd mentioned his family, his mother of all people, Leia ached to know more. She rested her chin on her fist and looked at Han thoughtfully. "What do you remember?" she asked, her tone gentle.
Han shook his head, a small, jerky movement that screamed discomfort. Leia reached over the pile of blankets and rested her fingertips on his wrist. He met her gaze briefly before shaking his head again. "Really don't remember anything," he said gruffly. "Anyway, we're not talkin' about me."
"Sharing's a two-way street, Han," Leia said dully.
"Like I said, you don't have to share anything with me."
Do I want to? she pondered, withdrawing her hand from his wrist. Leia clasped her hands together in her lap, eyes focused on her ragged thumbnails. Han had hit uncomfortably close to home with his observations. She had shared details of her capture and torture with the galaxy, recounting the days spent on the Death Star with detached accuracy; she hadn't talked about how she had been affected by any of it, not since therapy became optional. There were times when she wanted to, times when baring the raw horrors that resided just beneath the surface of her mind sounded like the best sort of relief. But she was afraid if she began to share, she would never stop, and revealing her many, many weaknesses to those who were supposed to listen to her as a leader didn't seem appropriate.
She didn't have to lead Han, though. He was a separate entity altogether.
Leia bit her bottom lip and pressed her cuticles back with her thumbnail for lack of much else to keep her hands busy. "You saw earlier, right? With the…" She paused, eyes closed, and tried for clinical distance in her voice. "With the green light."
"Yeah, I'd gone to the cockpit for somethin' the first time the ship jumped forward and saw it."
"You know what it was?" She hadn't told him before, had just asked how close they were.
"Figured it out pretty quick when I saw our coordinates." Han paused. "Death Star, right?"
Leia nodded without answering.
"Musta been a shock, seeing that."
She nodded again and pulled the pillow off the stack of blankets, hugging it to her chest.
"'m not gonna force you to talk, Princess."
She stared at the worn top of the holochess table, searching for the right words, the ones that, once uttered, would release her from the ever-growing burden that froze her mind and paralyzed her lungs at the most inopportune moments. "I've completely forgotten how my mother last braided my hair," she admitted. "I meant to ask her about the style and I forgot, and now I don't remember what it was at all. I don't remember what sort of occasions it was supposed to be worn for or even what it looked like up close. I always assumed I'd be able to ask her, but there's no way to now."
Han seemed to hesitate before responding, his tone lacking his usual confidence. "This ain't actually about hair, is it?" he ventured. "Because your hair almost always looks good."
Leia laughed softly and finally looked at him, a miserable smile on her face. She shook her head. "No. Sorry. No. It's not about hair, not exactly." Then, unsure if she wanted to elaborate on something so very personal, she narrowed her eyes and pivoted to snark. "What do you mean 'almost always looks good'? My hair is immaculate at all times."
Han raised his eyebrows and reached out to pinch the end of her very messy braid. He smiled mischievously. "Remember how you don't want me sugarcoating what I say—"
He was cut off by the pillow thumping against his head.
Leia pursed her lips, hugging the pillow back to her chest and stifling a laugh once she saw the look of momentary confusion on Han's face.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, pointing a finger in her direction. "You clearly need sleep," he said, standing.
She snorted, warmth creeping up her neck. She felt entirely childish. "I think you may be right."
Han smiled at her fondly. "G'night, Worship," he said before heading into his cabin and closing the door.
Leia curled up under the pile of blankets he had brought her and mashed the pillow into a comfortable enough shape before resting her head on it. It smelled like him, but she was tired enough to fall asleep before she could consider why.
Leia planned to hash things out with Luke before breakfast, but he slept in and then spent the entirety of the meal doing everything in his power to avoid acknowledging her, obliterating any inclination she had toward apologizing. She stared at him between bites of porridge, trying to muster up the motivation to fix the situation.
"Will you cut it out?" Luke snapped before taking one last bite. He looked haggard, his paler-than-usual complexion only serving to emphasize the dark circles under his eyes. His hair was disheveled and he kept yawning. Leia wondered how he could possibly be exhausted after sleeping so long.
"I'm not doing anything," Leia said, her words clipped.
"You're breathing down my neck with your eyes. It's making my skin crawl." Luke stood and turned his back to her as he rinsed his bowl in the small sink.
"None of what you just said makes any sense."
He turned his head to look at her, eyes narrow. "Okay, fine. Do you have something to say?"
Leia set her jaw but nodded slightly, shoving down every ounce of brittle pride and indignation that worked to keep her silent. She needed to be on good terms with Luke before they disembarked. He was supposed to accompany her to meet their contacts, and she needed to be able to communicate with him without strife. "I wanted to apologize for my reaction yesterday. You were trying to relate, and I understand. Our losses are different, but they're just as meaningful. I know that. I—I shouldn't have shouted the way I did. I'm sorry, Luke."
Luke dried his bowl and returned it to a nearby cabinet. He leaned against the bulkhead, arms crossed across his chest, and ran his tongue over his teeth. Leia knew before he spoke that he was still upset. "That all?"
She furrowed her brow, unsure of what else he was expecting. "I am sorry, Luke."
"For shouting."
She nodded. "Yes, I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did. I know you're grieving, too. You're right; it's not a competition."
"Hmm." He turned and left the lounge, shaking his head the whole way.
Leia stared after him in disbelief. He just left without resolving anything. She looked down at the last few bites of porridge in her bowl, trying to recall how she had smoothed things over with Luke in the past. She and Han bickered and lobbed sarcastic comments at one another, but it was rare that feelings truly got hurt. When they did, someone apologized eventually — either with words or, more often, through some penitent gesture — and everything went back to normal She and Luke…She and Luke…
I've never had a fight with Luke, she realized. Not a real one. They had had exchanges that resulted in eye rolls, they had exasperated each other occasionally, but she couldn't recall a time when they had been really and truly angry at each other. And Luke was undoubtedly angry.
Leia rinsed her bowl and dried it before putting it away, and headed toward the cockpit where she knew Han and Chewie were seated. They were nearing Gatalenta, and Han had warned that they would likely need to strap in shortly after breakfast.
Luke was in the cockpit and Leia wondered how Han and Chewie could stand the dull, oppressive energy in the tiny space. His hurt or anger or whatever he was feeling was palpable, and Leia felt the urge to run in the other direction. She made herself stay, looking at Luke as she fastened her crash webbing, trying to read his face so she could understand what, exactly, he was upset about.
"Leia, seriously, stop."
Han shot a perplexed glance back, first at Luke, then Leia. She shrugged and gave him a helpless look.
"I'm not doing anything," she insisted again.
"I can feel it every time you start staring at me and it's suffocating."
She scowled. "I'm suffocating?" I couldn't even be in the same room as you last night, but, sure I'm suffocating.
"Well, it isn't Han, and it isn't Chewie."
Leia rolled her eyes. "Luke, I already apologized, so I don't know what you're wanting—"
"Yes, you issued a very good and diplomatic apology for shouting," Luke interrupted. "You didn't acknowledge what you said."
She blinked, brows furrowed. She had. She had apologized for downplaying his grief. She had apologized for what she said. "Yes, I—"
"Do you even remember what you said about us?"
Leia stared at him in confusion. "About who?"
Luke gestured between Han, Chewie, and himself. Leia squinted, desperately attempting to resurrect a memory, any memory of what she'd said that would explain Luke's distress.
"We're about to drop outta hyper," Han said, and the cockpit fell silent for a couple of minutes.
Pressure built in Leia's chest as the Falcon slowed and pulled out of the hyperspace lane. Luke was being supremely unfair, expecting her to read his mind about what had upset him. I apologized for shouting and for downplaying his grief. I don't understand. I apologized. Chest tight and frustration from being presented with an impossible puzzle coming to a head, she turned once again to Luke. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Luke glared and Leia was struck by just how exhausted he looked. Did he sleep at all? He shook his head in irritation. "Obviously," he snapped.
Han turned in his seat to look at them both. "If you two don't get civil real quick, I will hop right back in a hyperspace lane, land this ship on Coruscant and turn myself in to the Empire and you can figure out your own way back to base."
A long pause followed Han's absurd threat. Leia looked from him to Luke, the latter mirroring her exasperated disbelief in his expression.
Luke pursed his lips briefly before breaking the silence and rolling his eyes. "Okay, Uncle Owen." He deepened his voice in an imitation Leia suspected was only half-accurate. "'I will pull this speeder over right now and you can walk home.'"
Leia snorted and smiled at Luke, a momentary and incomplete sort of peace offering, before turning her attention to Han. "Is the ship being impounded in this scenario? Because otherwise, you've left three beings who can pilot just fine in your mostly functioning ship and turned yourself over to be murdered for literally no reason."
"It's preferable to whatever this is," Han muttered, waving vaguely between Luke and Leia before turning back to the windscreen.
Chewie turned in his seat to look at Leia. [I will make sure you make it back to base Princess], he said, his tone so solemn it was nearly comical.
"Hey, you stick with me, pal," Han protested forcefully. "That's the deal."
[If you turn yourself in, I assume you are trying to die. Who am I to stop you?]
"Who are you to stop—That's the whole—" Han sputtered, apparently too flabbergasted to finish a sentence.
Leia shared an amused glance with Chewie, biting her lip gently. She looked at Luke again and noted that the brief moment of levity hadn't lifted the burden of whatever hurt she had caused. He unfastened his crash webbing and left the cockpit.
She found him in the crew cabin, sitting on his usual bunk. Leia stood in front of him. "I need you to tell me what you're upset about before we land. I can't take you with me with you feeling so…" She made a vague gesture with her hands.
"You don't actually need me anyway," Luke said. "I'm just Alliance-issued, right?"
Leia squinted at him. "I requested you come on this trip. You know that."
Luke rolled his eyes. "You honestly—" He let out a heavy sigh. "Leia, you said your friends were Alliance-issued. I just thought we meant more to you than that. That we're actually friends, not friends just because we happen to be on the same side."
Understanding dawned on Leia, and she recalled bits from her outburst from the night before. Nearly everything I own is Alliance-issued. My clothes, my bed, my job, my friends. Everything from my life before is gone. It wasn't what she had intended to convey, but if Luke had thought that she didn't care about their friendship…
"Stars, Luke," she murmured, shaking her head. She stepped closer. "That's not…That's not what I meant at all."
He clenched and unclenched his jaw. "What did you mean then?"
Leia shrugged and sat next to him on the bunk. "Just that I don't really have anything left from my old life. Not even something or someone I could go back to if I wanted to take leave from the Alliance. If—When we win this thing, there won't be a house waiting for me to come back to it, not even an empty or ransacked one. And I don't have the hope of seeing a single friend or family member or even just an acquaintance from before unless they're in the Alliance. Everyone else I knew was on Alderaan. Or they were in the Senate, in which case, they probably don't like me much." Leia shot Luke a pained smile and placed her hand on his arm. "Luke, you're my friend, one of my best friends. I care about you more than just about anyone. We wouldn't know each other if it weren't for the Alliance, but you still…" Leia felt her throat tighten, heard her voice pitch up with emotion. "You mean so much to me." She bit the inside of her cheek and dropped her hand from his arm. "I'm really sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to—But, I am sorry."
Luke nodded slowly and swallowed. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I'm sorry, too. I've been kind of an ass today."
Leia didn't argue — he had been kind of an ass — but she pulled him into a hug.
"I'm so tired," he said, laughing mirthlessly. "I barely slept last night. I'm sure that hasn't helped."
She released him, hand resting on his shoulder. "Why didn't you sleep?"
Luke rubbed his forehead and shrugged. "Mind was loud. Kept waking up."
She nodded and squeezed his shoulder before releasing him fully. "We still have a few hours before we land. You should get some rest. I really do want you to come with me." Leia paused. "I—I need you to come with me."
Luke agreed, giving Leia one last hug before she left him to rest.
Gatalenta was a warm planet, likely due to its multiple suns, though Luke told Leia it wasn't anywhere near as hot as Tatooine. She felt an odd sort of nostalgia as they walked from the remote landing pad to a nearby building, wisps of hair sticking to the sweat that beaded on the back of her neck. She hadn't been to the planet for well over a year; everything she associated with it was a part of Leia, Then.
Chewie stayed with the Falcon. Leia had given Han the option to stay — she didn't need two escorts, but she didn't mind if he came along, and Leia figured having an extra set of eyes in any new situation wasn't a bad thing. She had been somewhat surprised when he joined them, though; she had assured him the situation was safe, and it wasn't as if Han was generally itching to meet new people.
They met with their contacts in a nondescript building boasting an abnormal amount of very subtle security that, had she not been trained by her parents to quickly locate hidden surveillance, Leia might not have noticed. Men and women in the plainest of plainclothes that Gatalenta had to offer were also concealing weapons, keypads on doors were camouflaged, and Leia caught sight of more than one hidden lens around the perimeter of the building — the type meant to surveil secretly rather than ward off potential thieves. She wondered what exactly the building's official purpose was, but didn't have much time to ponder over it before they were seated in a small room that didn't appear to be under surveillance, being offered tea.
Their contacts were a man with dark hair and narrow eyes who introduced himself only as Tai-Lin and a tall, willowy blond woman who Leia recognized as Amilyn's aunt Dria, a member of the planet's ruling body, the Council of Mothers. Leia knew that Amilyn was off-planet in a safe house somewhere, but she still felt a slight pang of disappointment that her friend wasn't there to greet them.
Han stared at his tea skeptically, and Leia took advantage of a moment when Tai-Lin and Dria stepped aside to confer quietly to nudge his foot with her own. "Drink it or don't," she said through a tight smile, "but stop acting like they're trying to poison us."
"How do you know they ain't?" he asked, suspicion and tension evident in his voice.
"I just do." Tai-Lin and Dria approached the trio again and Leia snapped to attention, smile still on her face.
"I hope the tea is to your liking," Dria began. "Amilyn said you were fond of it, Your Highness."
Leia nodded. "I am, thank you. It's lovely. I haven't had Gatalentan tea in quite some time. It's always a treat."
"And how do you two find it?" she inquired of Han and Luke.
The men made vaguely positive-sounding mumblings, both clearly feeling out of their element.
"I suppose there's no need to be coy," Dria said. "We want to discuss providing supplies to the Alliance, but there is another reason we asked for you specifically, Your Highness."
Leia could practically feel Han and Luke tense. She resisted looking at either of them, and instead focused on Dria. "I'm pleased to be here, Dria. How can I be of service?"
Dria nodded once. "We do what we can to maintain as much independence from Imperial interference on our planet as possible, but it is difficult being in the Core and keeping that sort of distance. Still, the Council of Mothers is adamant that we quietly resist for as long as we can before out-and-out war is declared here. We've long negotiated trade agreements with the Empire on the condition that a garrison not be stationed on our planet, and so far, the agreements have held. This has allowed us to offer refuge to those whose lives are in danger." She paused. "I believe you've been told about Gatalenta's response to the Purge."
Leia nodded. Respect for the Jedi tradition on Gatalenta had continued despite the Empire's attempt to extinguish and ban anything relating to the religion. "I know that Jedi legends have been shared freely here." As soon as she said Jedi, she saw Luke shift forward out of the corner of her eye. She continued. "There were rumors that the Council provided refuge for some members of the Order for a time as well, but that was when I was quite small."
"We did, for several years," Dria affirmed. "Most eventually moved on of their own accord."
"You knew Jedi?" Luke asked, his voice brimming with excitement.
Dria smiled sadly. "Oh, yes. Many of them."
Leia shot Luke a warning look, surreptitiously touching his knee very briefly. She knew she could trust Dria, was fairly sure she could trust Tai-Lin, but she didn't want too much revealed in the conversation regardless. The Jedi remained an incredibly fraught subject, and she didn't expect that to change while the Empire was still in power. She wanted to be careful, to limit the risk they brought on themselves and others.
"Luke knew a Jedi," Leia said, hoping her vagueness would prompt Luke to avoid dropping information left and right. "I met one once as well, years ago." No need to point out it was the same man.
"I mentioned the Purge because the Council has been handling a situation that has brought to mind that horrible time." Dria paused, frowning. "It's possible you already know, Your Highness, but there's been no official proclamation. We've been made aware that Alderaanians are being arrested and questioned by the Empire at higher rates than citizens of just about any other planet as far as we can tell. Some are being held seemingly without reason."
Leia's stomach twisted. She felt gentle pressure on her right elbow and looked at Han. He stared suspiciously at Dria before meeting Leia's gaze. A brief expression of surprise crossed his face and he dropped his hand from her elbow immediately, almost as if he hadn't realized he had reached out to touch her.
Leia turned back to Dria and Tai-Lin, shock replaced with calm interest. "Rumors have reached us in the Alliance, but very little has been confirmed. Are you saying you believe the Empire is targeting the Alderaanian diaspora?"'
Tai-Lin nodded. "They've been subtle about it up until recently, but, yes. We're certain that's what's happening."
Leia frowned. "Do we know the motivation?"
"The galaxy was shaken when Alderaan was destroyed, Your Highness," Tai-Lin said. "The Empire tried to hide its destruction, but that obviously didn't last long. Anyone who attempted to travel to Alderaan found out quickly that it wasn't there, and news spread, though not through official channels. They've spent much of the past year saturating news holos with stories of the lives lost on the Death Star, calling the Alliance a band of terrorists, and ignoring anything related to Alderaan completely."
Leia glanced at Luke briefly before nodding. She knew that much. She had seen enough Imperial news reports to have an idea of the stories they had been focusing on. "They have been very selective in the reports I've seen," she agreed. "Do we know why they tried to hide it? Those who gave the orders to destroy Alderaan seemed very pleased with their decision from what I personally witnessed."
"It's not from a primary source," Tai-Lin said. "But we've heard murmurings that the Emperor didn't approve the order."
Leia nodded. That sounded in line with what she knew of Sheev Palpatine. If he hadn't ordered something as massive as the destruction of a planet, he certainly wouldn't have wanted to cause panic by admitting a Grand Moff had gone rogue. Momentary denial followed by distracting propaganda was likely the only way he had seen fit to respond.
"Recently, there was a tone shift," Dria said. "More stories about you, about your parents' involvement with the Alliance. Early on, they talked about the corruption in the Senate, they mentioned Mon Mothma and even Amilyn, but the focus has been on the, ah…"
"'Toxic influence of House of Organa'," Tai-Lin supplied, clearly quoting from some outside source.
"They have been avoiding the questions of the Elder Houses for some time," Dria said. "They did not want to admit that the Senate had been compromised since its inception, and have heaped the responsibility for many things on your shoulders, Your Highness."
Leia nodded. Nothing says scapegoat like a ten million credit bounty, she thought ruefully. "I've gathered as much." She wondered how many people would assume the same as Han had when they first met: Aren't you helpin' run this thing?
"But, some of the Houses found evidence that the Alliance has a much longer history than you can claim to be a part of unless you were helping steal ships as an infant."
"If anyone could…" Han mused quietly. Leia looked at him sharply, doing everything in her power to communicate, Not the time.
"We don't know for sure, of course," Tai-Lin said, "but we believe the Empire is still hesitant to make any claims that the Senate itself was compromised by Alliance members for as long as it was. Doing that sort of work under the Emperor's nose for nearly two decades…it calls into question how fit anyone currently in power is to run the galaxy. So, they're shifting the narrative. It's not the Senate that was corrupted, but there's something not quite right about Alderaan. They're all but ignoring Mon Mothma's involvement right now in favor of focusing on the involvement of you and your family and any known Alderaanian associates. Of your entire planet."
Leia's stomach churned again and her chest felt tight. She was about to ask how they could possibly ignore Mon's involvement, but Leia knew she had been a more visible figure than Mon for the Alliance since Scarif. Her story was more dramatic, more likely to capture the interest of the masses. Mon addressed members of the Alliance and their allies, but Leia's face had been broadcast across the galaxy by both sides.
"They've only been so bold when conferring with the Elder Houses, but word is starting to trickle out to the masses that Alderaanians are to be viewed suspiciously."
"We've seen them do this before," Dria said. "It's always a distraction tactic, and it always ends badly for their targets."
"It's a win-win for the Empire if they can pull off the ruse," Tai-Lin added. "They have an entire planet to blame for the momentary upheaval of the Core, but, how convenient: they've already taken out of the root of the problem."
Leia nodded, mind whirring and heart pounding. Something still didn't make sense. Why are they telling me this? She focused again on Dria and Tai-Lin. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. Did you want to meet with me just to inform me of this?"
Dria shook her head. "There have been more and more reports of civilian aggression toward anyone who is Alderaanian, who speaks Alderaaninan in public, who even looks Alderaanian. The Council of Mothers decided to offer safe haven here for refugees who didn't feel safe wherever they originally landed. It's been a quiet effort, and we only had a handful take us up on it until recently. Word has spread, and we're afraid that we'll soon attract the attention of the Empire."
Leia's eyes widened and her breathing quickened. Han's hand was on her elbow again, but she barely noticed. There are refugees? Here? She needed to say something, but Leia felt an uncharacteristic inability to translate her thoughts into spoken words.
"We're only effective for as long as we can keep our actions against the will of the Empire quiet," Tai-Lin said. "We can divert their attention away from a single, smaller operation, but if more refugees show up…" He trailed off, hesitant. "We're hoping the Alliance can help us find a safe place for these people to settle in exchange for access to our supply chain—"
"Can I see them?" Leia blurted out, her voice a little too loud to be considered courteous. She covered her mouth with her hand. "Apologies. I'll need to discuss your proposal with the rest of the High Command," she said, forcing calm into her voice. "But I—I'd like to see where they're staying. I'd like—I'd like to see my people."
They were making use of an ancient bunker under the very building they sat in. It was, Tai-Lin said, the bunker where the few Jedi they housed during the Purge had stayed. Its capacity was limited — there really shouldn't have been more than two dozen people staying there, but with children, there were currently closer to thirty. The space was divided into large rooms — a room filled with stacked bunks, a common area, a kitchen, a couple of communal 'freshers.
"It was supposed to be a temporary landing spot while we found places for them in communities elsewhere on the planet," Dria said as they descended several floors underground to the space Tai-Lin had described. "And some have relocated and integrated well. But many are hesitant to leave when they're surrounded by their people here."
"Do they leave the bunker at all?" Leia asked, suspicion evident in her tone.
"Some do, to run into town or just to get outside. Some don't." Dria looked Leia in the eye. "They're all scared, Your Highness."
"Of course," Leia said quietly. "How long have they been here?"
"Some for about four months, but about half arrived just a few weeks ago."
They arrived at an armored door and Tai-Lin entered a code. Leia looked first at Han, then Luke as the door opened. Luke gave her shoulder a quick squeeze.
The room was spacious and tidy, and Leia was struck by how homey it felt. Woven blankets in Alderaanian patterns were draped over shabby couches, Alderaanian art was hung on the wall, a woman sat in a chair holding a toddler, singing an Alderaanian nursery rhyme. Leia was nearly overwhelmed by seeing so many reminders of home in one room.
Another woman approached the group and addressed Tai-Lin in Basic. Leia estimated that she was a bit older than her mother would have been. She didn't process what the woman said; she was too distracted by staring at the woman's smooth, dark, thick braids streaked with strands of white and wondering with some vague feeling of horror what her own looked like. TooVee would have a conniption, she mused, recalling her attendant droid's pickiness concerning her hair. Leia knew her braids were likely frizzy no matter how smooth they had been that morning on the Falcon; outpost life rarely allowed for the hair products she was used to, and her hair was finer and more prone to frizzing than that of most natural-born Alderaanians. The woman paid her no attention, though, and another, more horrifying thought occurred to Leia: would they know her at all? She was dressed in a very simple tunic and leggings, she had lost weight, and the little make-up she wore was much plainer than what she used to wear to official palace events. She wondered if she was remotely recognizable to the average citizen of Alderaan.
The woman seemed to notice Leia staring at her. She trailed off mid-sentence as her eyes focused on Leia's face. She tilted her head quizzically and blinked rapidly. "Your Highness?" she whispered in Alderaanian, shock evident in her tone. She bowed quickly and clumsily.
Leia shook her head slightly, reaching out her hand in a gentle offering of solidarity. The woman took her hand and Leia felt warmth bloom in her chest. "What is your name?" she asked softly in their native language.
"Ysta Vex, Your Highness."
"It's so good to meet you, Ysta," Leia said quietly. She clasped Ysta's hand between her own.
They had attracted attention. When Leia looked away from Ysta, she saw several other women, a few men, and a couple of children crowding into the common area. She glanced back at Luke and Han. The latter wore an expression Leia had come to recognize as his socially cornered face; it was the look she had seen a few times when a dozen too many pilots crowded around to hear a story or the couple of instances she'd witnessed in which someone he'd turned down wouldn't stop hitting on him. Most importantly, it wasn't his we're in trouble look. Han was uncomfortable, but it had nothing to do with danger.
She shot a small smile to Luke and Han before entering into a dozen conversations in mixed Alderaanian and Basic, trying to keep track of names and faces and stories as she moved from one person to another. Leia found herself surprised that most were glad to see her. Surely they know the pain I've caused. Surely they know of my negligence.
Some seemed to. A young couple followed her movements with sharp, dark eyes, subtle scowls on their faces. When she spoke to them, they didn't offer their names. The woman, tall with dark hair, a sallow complexion that clearly indicated sunlight deprivation, and a belly swollen with pregnancy, spoke in a low voice, obviously hoping the others wouldn't hear.
"You're the reason we're in this mess," she said. "You and your parents. We never wanted to fight against the Empire. We just wanted to live our lives."
Leia swallowed and nodded. "We had no intent of pulling unwilling people into this fight," she said. "The Empire—"
"The Empire only targeted Alderaan because of you and the Prince Consort," the man with her interrupted. "He was stirring up rebellion for decades. We've seen the evidence."
Leia had little to say to that. They weren't wrong. She bowed her head slightly. "The Empire would have continued to terrorize the galaxy with the Death Star regardless if nothing had been done. I am endlessly regretful that they chose to involve innocents in the fight, but that choice was neither my father's nor mine. We would not have knowingly attracted such pain and destruction to our people."
"Oh, really?" the woman asked sharply. "Why are you here now, then? When they find out you've been here, we're going to have to run again." She hurried away before Leia could answer.
The man hung back only long enough to say, "My wife has been too afraid to step outside for months because of the way we were treated on Coruscant, and now you're here, drawing trouble back to us." He swore, though Leia wasn't sure if it was directed at her or the overall situation, and walked away quickly.
Somewhat shaken, Leia walked back toward Tai-Lin, Dria, Luke, and Han. She felt a tug on the bottom of her tunic and looked down to see a girl and boy, both appearing to be close in age to her youngest cousins the last time she had seen them. Six? Seven, maybe?
Leia knelt on the floor so she could look them in the face. The girl covered her face with her hands, and Leia deduced that she was the tunic tugger. The boy stifled a laugh and Leia focused on him, brow raised. "Did you dare her to do that?" she asked, barely hiding her own amusement. The boy sobered and nodded solemnly. She turned to the girl. "It's okay. I'm here to say hello. What's your name?"
The girl dropped her hands but stared at the ground, cheeks flushed. "Lola."
"Is it really?" Leia asked cheerfully. Lola nodded shyly. "I had a toy droid named Lola when I was your age." She looked at the boy again. "And you are?"
"Nairu," he said, grinning.
"I'm pleased to meet you, Lola and Nairu." Leia smiled at them. "I'm Leia."
"Are you the princess?" Lola whispered, her dark eyes gleaming.
Leia nodded, maintaining her smile despite the tightness in her chest. "I am."
Lola rocked back on her heels nervously. "Will you let us go home soon?"
Leia raised her brows in surprise, unsure of how to respond.
Nairu shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Lola, home is gone. The Emperor made it blow up."
"Auntie Caari said we couldn't go home because of the princess," Lola argued.
Leia's heart ached, but she managed to keep a neutral expression. Something about being surrounded by other Alderaanians made holding herself together almost easier.
"Auntie Caari is mixed-up." Leia looked up to see who had interrupted. Ysta stood close by. The older woman ran her hand over Lola's hair in a way that reminded Leia of Breha's habit of tucking stray hairs back into Leia's braids. "Your Highness, I apologize for my grandchildren. They don't fully understand."
Leia shook her head slightly. "No need to apologize. They were simply contributing to the conversation with what they know." She smiled at the children again before standing. "It was nice to talk to you, Lola and Nairu."
Ysta sent the children to wash up for lunch before turning to Leia. "My daughter Caari — I believe you just spoke to her a few moments ago — she and her husband are in the minority, Your Highness. Most of us, we know this was the Empire's doing. We are glad you're here."
Leia smiled gracefully, though she felt thoroughly rattled. "I imagine having a baby during such uncertainty brings about worries some of us can't fully comprehend," she said gently. "I've taken no offense. I expect we're all a bit raw right now." She thanked Ysta for her kindness and walked back to her group.
"We need to leave as soon as I'm able to solidify details with Mon," Leia said quietly to Han as they made their way back to the ground level of the building. Caari's words repeated in her mind: When they find out you've been here, we're going to have to run again.
He scrunched his brows together and leaned closer to her, hand resting on her shoulder blade. "Somethin' happen?"
She shook her head. "No, but if the Empire gets wind that we've been here, that I've been here, they'll be punished."
Han shook his head. "No one knows we're here."
"Yet."
"No, no one know we're here, period. What's got you spooked?"
Leia shrugged one shoulder and shook her head, glancing at Dria and Tai-Lin. "Nothing." She hurried her walk to catch up with their Gatalentan hosts. "I need to confer with Command before we make any decisions, but I think we can work something out regarding your request. I will contact Chancellor Mothma when we return to our ship and should have an answer for you soon. We can talk details first thing in the morning, if that suits you."
Dria and Tai-Lin agreed to meet shortly before the first sun rise the next morning, and Leia led the way back to the Falcon. Luke hurried to catch up with her and slipped his arm around her shoulders on the short walk to the ship.
"You okay? It seemed kind of intense down there."
Leia smiled slightly and nodded, leaning into his side briefly. "It was, but it was good."
"I've never heard you speak Alderaanian before."
"You have, you probably just don't remember. I talked to Tycho the night Col died."
"Oh." Luke paused. "It sounded nicer today."
"Different circumstances, I suppose," Leia observed as they stopped next to the Falcon. That's an understatement.
Han punched in the code to lower the ramp and they boarded, Leia splintering off immediately to the crew cabin to comm Mon Mothma. The Gatalentans' request was reasonable; Leia saw no reason why the Alliance couldn't help secure a safer, more permanent location for the Alderaanian diaspora. She would have made the request regardless, but with the offer of a more stable supply chain and help from a Core World, Leia was positive Command would be all for it.
Mon was in agreement, but wanted to discuss the terms with the rest of Command during the day's brief. Leia agreed to comm later in the day to speak with the group before taking a seat on her bunk. She leaned against the bulkhead, eyes closed, doing her best to process every twist the day had brought. It almost, almost felt like destiny the way so many things seemed to be falling into place, and she dared to hope that this would turn out all right. She found herself thinking of her parents, wondering how they would handle this turn of events.
I'm going to fix this, Mom, Dad, she thought. I'm the right one to fix this, I'm sure of it.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think! Chapter 10 will be released on Friday, July 28, 2023. Thanks for reading!