A/N: A couple of things: first, when I posted the chapter previous to this, FFN was having some really strange server issues or something, and I'm not confident that alerts went out for it. So…if you don't recognize the pathfinders, you may have missed chapter 11.
I have a complicated week ahead of me, so I'm posting early. Enjoy!
CW for frank-but-not-graphic discussions of past sexual assault, mentions of past torture, and brief violence.
Biggest thanks to DiplomaticPrincess for beta reading!
They arrived on Tibrin as the sun was setting and prepared to set out first thing in the morning. Einara and Rory led a campaign to convince the others to swim while they had a chance. Chewie went outside with the pathfinders while Leia slipped up to the top of the Falcon for some fresh air without the expectation that she'd take off half her clothing. If she was honest with herself, going for a swim in the balmy night air sounded exceedingly nice, but the last thing she wanted to do was strip down to a tank top, and the next-to-last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself by swimming in a t-shirt or fatigues.
It wasn't modesty. Her concern was less with how much skin she might show and more with how much of that skin was marred beyond recognition. She hadn't gotten a good look in recent months at the scars that lingered over a year after her last interrogation session; she tried not to and their placement made it easy enough to avoid. But she could feel their progression as they had healed: what had flattened out into normal skin — about half the burns and two-thirds of the cuts — and what hadn't — all of the injection sites, and the remaining cuts and burns. The injection sites were particularly disturbing. Not one of them healed properly; they all got infected and scarred, so Leia had a line of red and purple spots running up her spine and even onto the back of her neck.
She didn't think about them much in her day-to-day life until the need to expose the marks to others popped up, at which point dread washed over her. She managed to keep the number of people back at the outpost who caught a glimpse of them to a minimum, but a few people had laid eyes on her back over the past year or so — medics, Shara, Wedge once when Leia had experienced some sort of allergic reaction to a bug bite on Renatasia and needed help assessing her need to go to medical — and their initial reactions were all the same: the sharp intake of breath, the near-silent, "Oh," that Leia was sure they assumed she didn't hear, the pity in their eyes when they finally had to face her.
She couldn't chance pity with the pathfinders, so she changed privately even though it wasn't uncommon for Einara and Naj to pop in and out of their bedrooms in bras or tank tops, she kept a layer on whenever she was around the others that at the very least covered her entire back and shoulders, and she avoided any situation that would require she bare the marred flesh that graced her spinal column. No one had mentioned it, and Leia didn't think they ever would. If anything, she imagined they assumed that she adhered to some royal Alderaanian modesty tradition. Traditional Alderaanian dress was notoriously full-coverage, and she had saved most of her adolescent rebelling for other, more interesting pursuits, so keeping covered was hardly of note in most circumstances. She still didn't want to other herself by swimming fully-clothed, though. Plus, it sounded downright uncomfortable.
Their forms illuminated by both bright moonlight overhead and phosphorescent reefs protruding from the surface of the ocean, Leia could clearly see the others playing in the water from her perch on top of the Falcon. Thighs drawn to her chest, she watched and listened as they splashed, laughed, and swam, making half-hearted attempts to keep playful shouting to a minimum. They had landed far enough from any settlement for noise to not be much of a concern.
Leia saw Han exit the ship briefly, watch the group without joining in, then turn back toward the ship. He glanced up, seemed to catch sight of Leia, and headed inside soon after. She wasn't surprised when he joined her, handing her an empty glass and a mostly full bottle of whiskey as he sat, his own glass in hand. Leia smiled slightly, poured less than half of what she usually poured to start — they had a mission first thing in the morning, after all — and set the bottle between them.
"Don't like swimmin'?" Han asked.
Leia sipped the strong drink, enjoying the burn in her throat as she swallowed. She watched as Jarys splashed water at Einara and Rory, as Nihal dove out of the way of small waves, as Naj stood near Chewie in water that was shoulder-deep for her but came only to the Wookiee's waist. They'd all had days in hyperspace, doing very little with their time. It was good that they were burning some pent-up energy before they headed out onto the planet in the morning.
"Actually, I love swimming," Leia said, making no attempt to keep the longing out of her voice.
She could practically feel Han's eyes on her but didn't look his way to confirm. "You should get out there, then. Probably won't have time when you get back."
"Was considering going out when I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night," she said wryly.
"By yourself?"
The concern in Han's tone needled her already raw feelings on the topic. "I'm a strong swimmer and the water's calm here, Han. No need to worry about me. This isn't a Hoth situation."
"Not worried," he mumbled, as if the very idea were embarrassing.
"I forgot; you don't worry about anyone." Leia saw Han flinch out of the corner of her eye and her heart twisted. She threw back the remaining swallow of whiskey in her glass, waiting for him to shoot back a sarcastic comment. When he didn't respond, she turned to face him. The moonlight illuminated the entire area pretty clearly, and Han's stony expression was easy to make out. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that."
"Damn right I don't," Han responded tersely. He lifted the bottle of whiskey and tilted it toward her empty glass in offering. Leia nodded and he poured a serving closer in volume to what she normally drank.
"Can I show you something?" Leia asked, toying with the top fastener on her shirt.
Han leaned back slightly, resting his weight on one hand. He took a sip of his drink before meeting her question with another question, his tone gruff. "What?"
Leia frowned, rethinking her own request for a mere moment before setting her glass between her feet and releasing the top three fasteners on her shirt.
"Leia—" Han sounded mildly alarmed.
She rolled her eyes. "Calm down. I have a tank top on." She unfastened a few more closures and shoved her top down her arms, exposing her shoulders and the black support tank she wore under just about everything. Leia twisted until her back was toward Han, careful not to disturb the liquor at her feet. "Look."
There was no gasp, no whispered, "Oh," and Leia suspected there would be no pity in his eyes when she faced him again. It was the only reason she felt comfortable drawing so much attention to her disfigurement.
"What am I lookin' at?" Han asked.
"Back of my neck, my shoulders, anything you can see without me removing more clothing."
He was quiet for more than a few seconds before saying, "What, the scars?" She nodded once but didn't respond verbally. "I saw the wounds fresh, Leia. Why do I need to see 'em now?"
"They're pretty bad, right?"
"They're a helluva lot better'n I expected they'd be back on Yavin."
Leia pulled her shirt back onto her shoulders but didn't bother fastening it. "None of the injection sites healed right," she said, turning to face him. "They all scarred. A lot of the cuts and burns, too."
Han seemed unaffected. "Yeah, I know you didn't want to believe it, Princess, but you were hurt pretty bad."
She nodded, willing to finally admit over a year later that what he said had been true. She pressed her teeth to her knuckle briefly before taking another sip of whiskey. "I don't want them to see." She tilted her head toward the group on the sandbar.
"Doubt they'll care."
Leia rested her chin on her knee and sighed. "They won't care in the sense that they'll think poorly of me, but they'll pity me. People can't seem to help it. Even Wedge looked at me a little differently after he saw them, and I've known him for years."
"Antilles was pissed at the Empire. Never said anything about feelin' sorry for you."
She turned her head sharply in his direction, heat traveling up her neck to her cheeks. "He talked about it?"
Han nodded. "Only to me I think. He said you said I'd seen 'em."
Leia felt a bit of relief that no one else had been told, but a sense of betrayal still pricked at her. "What was so dire that he needed to run off and talk about my body to someone who isn't me?" she asked, her tone snippy.
He scowled. "Don't get mad at me for somethin' Antilles did."
"Conversations have two participants, Han."
"All I did was tell him what I saw when I witnessed an interrogation. He wanted to know if they were always that bad. Said his girl got captured and he never saw her again. Don't think it was about you at all."
"Oh," Leia said softly. She hadn't known the woman Wedge had cared for so deeply; only knew that her death along with the deaths of some family members had been the catalyst that had driven him to defect from the Empire.
"Think he just wanted someone to tell him she probably wasn't as bad off as you were before they killed her." He paused. "I was surprised he had to ask. Figured he'd've seen at least one when he was on the other side."
Leia shook her head. "They don't seem to have lower level soldiers who toe the line watch them. Only the troublemakers. I think it's supposed to be a subconscious warning to get in line."
"Well, that explains why I had to watch three," Han said wryly.
Leia wanted to laugh a little at his self-deprecation, but the topic itself was too dark, and an even darker thought had attached itself to her mind. She couldn't bring herself to find humor in any of it. She stared straight ahead, not wanting to see Han's face when she asked. "Did you tell him I was raped?" She nearly choked on the word and was surprised by the dull steadiness she heard in her own voice. She hadn't talked about the assault in such plain terms before, instead hiding behind euphemisms and assumptions the few times she had referenced it with Han, pretending like it hadn't happened at all with everyone else.
Han's voice was low, firm. "I would never—Leia look at me." She turned her head back toward him without a word, cheek pressed against her knee. He met her gaze, expression grim. "I would never talk about that with someone else."
Leia nodded slowly, eyes drifting back to her glass, feeling a bit detached from every word she uttered. "I've always wondered how you guessed. I was…sort of relieved you did, I think, but I wondered…"
He was quiet for a while. "You had bruises on your hips. Looked like someone'd grabbed you."
She looked at him again. "No," she said finally. "That can't be it." She wasn't sure how she knew exactly, but she could feel in her bones that it wasn't the entire story. "I had bruises covering half of my body. Couldn't have just been the bruises."
Han finished his glass of whiskey and poured another generous serving. "I did a lotta my growin' up on the streets, y'know?" Leia shook her head. She didn't know. Han, as a general rule, didn't talk about his past, and Leia, sure that she'd be asked to reciprocate by recounting memories of her now-dead life, rarely pressed for details. "I've seen a lot is all I'm sayin'. Knew some kids who were hurt that way. Saw the way they got nervous. You were remindin' me of them, you had the bruises, I know what sometimes goes on in those detention blocks. It just all sorta clicked."
She took a moment to really study him, struggling somewhat uncharacteristically with the words she wanted to say. There was, she knew — she had almost always known — more to Han than he initially presented to those around him. Even early on, his actions differed wildly from the motivations he had claimed to have. He rarely tried to hide behind those projected motivations any longer, at least not with her and Luke and Wedge, but it left him seeming a bit lost at times, as if he wasn't sure what to do with himself if he wasn't being cynical and pretending not to care.
"You're very perceptive when you want to be," she finally said.
"I'm perceptive even when I don't wanna be," he countered.
Leia tilted her head slightly. "Why wouldn't you want to be perceptive?"
Han shrugged. "You've never learned somethin' you wish you didn't know?"
She frowned. It seemed like a common enough feeling, but Leia wasn't sure she had experienced it in any big way. Knowledge was power, and for so many years she had watched and listened and perceived beings — both as they wanted to be perceived and as they truly were — in pursuit of a goal much larger than her own desires.
"Not through observing," she answered. "Could do without the firsthand knowledge of Imperial torture methods, I suppose." Her tone was droll, but as she said the words, it felt as if she had cut open her chest with a hot knife, as if the pressure of holding back emotional responses during every painful piece of their conversation so far was about to force her to fall apart. She needed to pivot the conversation, even if the deviation in focus was slight. "You didn't really treat me any differently after you found out what happened to me," she said. "I've always appreciated that."
Han shrugged. "You were the same pain in the ass after you told me as you were before I knew," he reasoned, an unmistakable fondness in his tone. "Invitin' yourself to ride along on a trip I wasn't plannin' on taking in the first place."
Leia laughed softly, the knife in her chest evaporating with Han's good-natured barb. "Still maintaining my pain in the ass status even now?"
"'It's even worse now. Turned you into a whiskey-thievin' pain in the ass."
She turned to face him, mouth open in disbelief. "You brought the bottle up here, hotshot."
Han tapped his chest with a finger. "I'm my own worst enemy sometimes."
She laughed again and looked out onto the sandbar. Four shadow-covered forms lay flat on the sand, though Leia found it difficult to determine who was who from a distance. Chewie was certainly not among them, and she could see the outline of Einara's lekku, but she couldn't tell if the being missing was Rory, Nihal, Jarys, or Naj.
"You like swimming?" Leia asked, finishing off the rest of her whiskey.
"Sure."
"But you're up here."
He shrugged. "Just seemed a little rowdy down there earlier. Plus, I got time the next coupla days if I feel like it."
Leia bit her bottom lip. "If you're up when I go, you're welcome to come with me."
After a moment of stillness, Han nodded slightly. "Someone's gotta make sure you don't drown," he said with an easy grin.
Leia rolled her eyes, but didn't argue.
Traveling on Tibrin when Leia was a beloved senator and royal family member had been simple: she and her entourage landed on a landing pad in the middle of one of the many cities built on the surface of reefs and waves and used whatever form of transportation had been sent for them. Traveling on Tibrin when she and her team didn't want to alert anyone in charge to their presence was far more complicated.
The sandbar Han and Chewie had managed to land on was in a good location: secluded from any major settlements, but with a traversable path from sandbar to the town using a series of strong reefs that were mostly exposed above the water during low tide. The pathfinders set out an hour before sunrise and managed to make it to the outskirts of an established town before morning light made their existence obvious. The entire settlement had been built on top of permanently exposed reefs so it sat slightly above the ocean. Towering reef formations peppered the landscape — some close to five meters high — and made excellent cover for the squadron as they attempted to move through a small neighborhood without being noticed. They walked in the shadows cast by the reef formations, keeping the formations as a barrier between themselves and nearby homes whenever possible, and kept an eye out for any beings as they passed through the gaps between the large structures. The team made good time and arrived at the planned meeting spot right on schedule. Keeping to the shadows cast by the reef barriers, they waited for their contact. As time passed, the tension in the atmosphere was almost palpable.
They were supposed to meet with the leaders of several local militias, all of whom had been waging their own war against the Empire in recent years. As far as Leia understood it, they had been resistant to joining the Alliance — their focus was solely on the safety and independence of Tibrin, not on attempting reform across the galaxy — but the unrest had been high since the destruction of Alderaan. Seertay was hopeful that Leia might be able to convince at least some of the leaders to work with the Alliance.
An hour passed with no sign of their contact. The settlement seemed quiet, and something wasn't sitting right with Leia. Her discomfort had grown by the minute about ten minutes into their walk past the neighborhood, but she couldn't place her finger on what was bothering her.
Nihal seemed ill-at-ease as well. Leia still didn't know the Zabrak well, but from what she had observed so far, he was smart, not given to impulsiveness like Einara, Rory, and Leia herself could be, and he didn't look for things to worry about. Nihal also had the benefit of age and experience on his side — he had been a pathfinder for half of Leia's life — and she trusted his intuition. He was the de facto leader of the mission, though they all had input in keeping with Seertay's policies, and after an hour and a half of waiting for their contact to show, Leia approached him to air her concerns.
"You're worried," Leia said quietly, eyes bouncing from Einara to Naj, Rory to Jarys, and the landscape in between them before finally looking at Nihal again. "You weren't last night, but you are now. What's changed?"
Nihal glanced around briefly before looking Leia in the eye. "We haven't seen a single sentient all morning."
"We've mainly been traveling behind the reefs—" Leia broke off, peering in the direction from which they'd come. They had been within the boundaries of the settlement for nearly two hours. They had attempted to remain hidden, but they had also walked past homes. Not a single sentient.
Filled with even more unease and on higher alert than mere moments before, Leia glanced at their surroundings every few moments. Their contact was really late.
"How long do we wait?" she asked.
"For a trusted contact, at least a day," Jarys said.
Leia shook her head. Something was wrong; Nihal's observations were sound, and her own intuition was shrieking at her the way it had the entire trip from Scarif to Tatooine. We haven't seen anyone, which means they're either inside or they moved toward the center of town. She stepped closer to the corner of a reef barrier, looking pointedly into the eerily silent neighborhood only meters away. It was certainly possible there were beings keeping quiet in the homes on the other side of the reef formation. It was also possible they had gone inland before the pathfinders' boots hit the settlement ground.
A faint noise, the faraway sound of the collective gasp of dozens of beings, drew Leia's attention inland. She looked over her teammates, running through a quick list of variables. "I think there's something in toward the center of town," she said, looking again at Nihal. "Some of us should go check it out."
"We don't split up," Naj said. "We can all go."
"But someone needs to stay here in case they show up," Einara pointed out.
They discussed the possible solutions for a few minutes, and in the end, Leia led Jarys and Einara in toward town. They walked until it became clear that there wasn't a sentient being anywhere nearby, at which point they picked up a moderate jog. Leia bounced her eyes around their surroundings, hoping to see something, anything indicating that their contact was safe and on their way.
The settlement wasn't huge, but it still took more than a few minutes to make it to the center of the town. Leia recognized a few official buildings from her previous visits, but otherwise, there was very little of note. As they approached the center of the settlement, though, all three pathfinders halted in surprise.
It looked as if every being who lived in the settlement was there, crowding into the space that seemed to serve as a sort of town square. Most were Ishi Tib — the amphibious native species of Tibrin — though Leia spotted a few humans and a handful of other species scattered throughout the groups. They all had their backs turned toward Leia, Jarys, and Einara, all seemed to be singularly focused on whatever was going on in the center of the square.
Jarys and Einara stood on tiptoes, straining to see over the crowd. Short as Leia was, she couldn't see beyond the backs of the gathered beings, but she heard someone screaming instructions to stay back. She looked around for something that would give her a better vantage point. The coral formation next to them was thick, strong, and, about two meters up, jutted in slightly to create a small ledge where Leia was sure she could stand and remain hidden. Without uttering a word to Einara and Jarys, she searched for good hand and foot holds in the barrier while she pulled leather fingerless gloves from a pocket and slid them on. The skin on her fingers would likely be shredded, but she could at least protect her palms. Slowly, carefully, Leia scaled the coral barrier, ignoring whispers of protest from Einara. Her foot slipped a few times, and once the protrusion she grabbed crumbled in her hands, but she was able to make it to the ledge mostly unscathed aside from the flesh on her fingers.
She pressed her body to the column of dried coral that continued to rise above her head and peeked around the corner of the barrier. The gathering in the square was massive. A line of at least two dozen stormtroopers stood in the center of the crowd and, in front of them, a line of beings on their knees, all in binders. Most were Ishi Tib, but Leia spotted a few Gungans and a couple of humans. A human man wearing a Grand Moff's uniform paced in front of the group, speaking loudly in Basic.
"After many months of enduring ongoing terrorist attacks, your governors requested help from the Empire to return Tibrin to its usual peaceful state. It has taken a few sleepless nights, but the rebel cell responsible has been neutralized. We will be stationing a garrison here for the foreseeable future to ensure the safety of Tibrin citizens." A soft murmur made its way through the crowd. The Grand Moff barely noticed. "The traitors lined up in front of you here today originate from this very settlement. These are your neighbors, friends, and family. I have no doubt that many of you feel a sense of betrayal and disgust knowing that they were involved in the attacks against your own planet. Let this be a reminder that the rebels are an insidious virus, capable of weakening the resolve of even those you think you know. Do not hesitate to report any concerns you might have. It is only with cooperation from our citizens that we can maintain the sort of peace you've long known on Tibrin."
He stopped his pacing. "Four of these beings offered to aid us in our search. With their help, we were able to locate the nexus of the terrorist activity that has caused so much pain and suffering on Tibrin. As an act of goodwill for their cooperation, their lives will be spared." He jerked his head roughly to one side and four of the stormtroopers split off from the larger group, forcing their prisoners to their feet. "We have a few more questions for them, but they will be returned to their homes as soon as we get the information we need. As for the rest." The Grand Moff turned toward the remaining prisoners slightly, his voice still projecting out into the crowd. "They face the same consequences as any other Galactic Citizen who commits treason and acts of terroristic violence." He raised his hand in some sort of signal. The sound of simultaneous blaster fire was sickening, the gasps of the gathered crowd nearly deafening.
"Organa!" Einara hissed. Leia looked down. "We have to go now!"
Leia shook her head. The four…they could still save the four. "I'll meet you back at the ship," she said to Einara and Jarys.
"Come with us!" Jarys beseeched.
She shook her head again. "They're going to kill them. You go ahead." Einara glared at her but took off running. Jarys hesitated a moment longer until Leia said, "Go! I'll be right behind you." He nodded and ran toward the rest of the group, toward the Falcon.
Leia crept along the coral barrier as quickly as she could in the direction the prisoners had been taken. The Grand Moff still had control over the crowd despite the line of bodies in the square, but Leia knew she needed to move quickly. She was able to get out ahead of the stormtroopers and their prisoners by climbing from formation to formation, keeping a barrier of coral between her body and what she approximated would be the stormtroopers' sightline as she thought through her next moves. They appeared to be heading in the direction of where she knew the space ports to be, and once they boarded whatever horror of a ship was waiting for them, the Ishi Tib prisoners would be lost to the Empire for good. She didn't have time for a firefight, didn't have time to try to stun the stormtroopers by aiming for the small gaps in their stun-resistant armor, couldn't chance attracting the attention of more troops. She moved closer to the spot she estimated they would appear in soon if they were indeed headed for the ports and, as they rounded the corner, buried a blaster bolt into each stormtrooper.
Leia dropped from her perch, rolling to break her fall, and quickly released the prisoners' binders. She looked at the group of four Ishi Tib. Their green skin was sallow, they looked as if they had been beaten. Two of them appeared to have broken eye stalks. None of them seemed to know what to do with the small assassin who had just dropped from the sky.
"They're going to murder you even if you give them what they want," she warned. "You need to find a way to disappear because they will kill you." She didn't wait for a response before taking off running.
Four lives for four lives. Four lives for four lives. Leia couldn't shake the disturbing thought, the fact that she had just taken the lives of four stormtroopers for an equal number of lives of beings who may or may not betray those around them. She tried to force the thought to the back of her mind as she picked through the settlement, zigging and zagging and listening for anyone who might attempt to follow her, but every few minutes, it popped right back into her head. Four lives for four lives.
Leia moved through shadows and behind coral barriers, thankful that she still seemed to have a head start on the crowd and any Imperial soldiers that might come upon the pile of dead stormtroopers. When she made it to the edge of the settlement, the tide was higher than it had been that morning. She could barely see the coral reef she had walked on just hours earlier. Leia glanced at her chrono. It would be hours more before the water receded, and she wasn't sure that she even had minutes. She took one quick look around before plunging into the ocean.
The water was warm, warmer than it had been when she had gone for a swim in the early, early morning, when the moon still shone on its surface and the sky hadn't yet lightened. It had hardly been cold then — Han had complained mildly about just how warm the water was — nothing like Corellian beaches, he assured her, where the water was cool and refreshing even in the heat of the summer. Now, with three suns high in the sky, it felt almost like bathwater. Leia was glad — it was far better for the purposes of keeping moving than the breath-stealing cold water she recalled from early summer swims in Lake Aldera — and she hoped the warmth would keep her muscles from cramping. She had a long swim ahead of her.
Leia swam as far as she could, keeping just under the surface of the water for as long as her lungs would allow. Either the tide was on its way out early or the reefs were on an incline, because she eventually found herself unable to swim forward without risking scraping her belly and arms along the edge of the coral. Her fingers already throbbed and stung in the saltwater from being rubbed raw when she climbed the coral formations; she didn't want to risk scratching the rest of her body through her fatigues, so she stepped onto the still-submerged coral reef, slogging through the ocean as quickly and inconspicuously as she could manage.
As soon as she saw the sunlight reflect off the Falcon's hull, she took off running. She felt as if she were moving in slow motion as water squelched in her boots and ran off her clothing, weighing her limbs down. Leia nearly tripped stepping off coral and onto sand, water still inhibiting her every movement as it sloshed down her legs. She picked up her pace as soon as she could and sprinted to the familiar ship. As soon as the soles of her boots touched deckplates, someone hit the button to raise the ramp.
Leia took in two gasping breaths before she was slammed against the bulkhead of the ship, the back of her head thumping against durasteel. Einara pressed her palms against Leia's shoulders, refusing to let her go. "What the hell were you thinking?" she yelled.
Adrenaline from her final sprint still coursing through her body, Leia shoved Einara backward with more force than she intended. The Twi'lek lost her footing and landed on her rear. She scrambled to her feet, reaching for Leia again, but Leia stepped to the side, glaring at her.
"They were going to kill them!" Leia shouted, chest heaving as she gasped for air.
"They could've killed all of us, too!"
"They didn't know we were there. They were definitely going to kill the four—"
"Who the kriff cares?" Einara demanded. "They turned the militias in! They're traitors!"
Leia bristled. "We don't even know if that's true. That Grand Moff could have been lying to encourage beings to turn themselves in—"
"Or, he didn't have to lie because they turned on their own side!"
Setting her jaw, Leia looked up to make eye contact with Einara. "Okay, well, they were also clearly planning on interrogating them for more information, and we definitely don't want that. Do you know if any of the four know information about us?"
Einara glared. "Well, now they know even more, don't they? They've seen you, they might've seen the direction you ran off in or spotted the ship. And now, these beings we don't know are free to turn around and go right back to the Empire with the information that the kriffing last princess of Alderaan is making public appearances again."
Leia clenched her hands into fists, fingers throbbing along with her racing heart. It wasn't that she hadn't thought the possibility through; she had. There was simply no easy answer to the situation that had been presented to them. "They're a liability to us no matter what," she finally said. "I gave them a chance to be less of one. If they had been left in the hands of the Empire, they would have been interrogated—"
"It doesn't matter. It wasn't worth the risk—"
"Have you been tortured by the Empire?" Leia demanded. Einara stared at her, mouth open but not saying a word. "No? Allow me to enlighten you: After days of it, I nearly caved and gave up sensitive information, and I had a hell of a lot more to lose than four beings who aren't even directly connected to the Alliance."
Einara shook her head, nostrils flaring. "Just because you weren't strong enough to—"
"I," Leia interrupted, pointing a finger close to Einara's face, expression stoic and voice commanding, "am one of the strongest people you will ever know."
"Need everyone to strap in."
Startled, Leia jerked her head toward the sound of Han's voice before taking in her surroundings. Einara had taken her so off-guard, she hadn't noticed Naj, Rory, and Jarys in the main hold with them, staring at the screaming pair with wide eyes. A vague sense that she should probably be mortified or at least a little concerned pricked at the back of Leia's mind, but she was still running on adrenaline and rage and not much else. She turned away from Einara without another word and followed Han to the cockpit, boots squishing water onto the deckplates with every step.
Rounding a corner so she was no longer in view of the main hold seemed to take the wind out of Leia almost entirely. She felt her expression soften and her hands began to tremble. "I killed four stormtroopers," she said, her voice small and far away, like it wasn't quite coming from her mouth.
Han stopped in the corridor and turned to face her, studying her expression closely. Leia wasn't sure what he saw in her face; she didn't feel fully in control of her lips or eyebrows. "Were there any other options?" he asked. She got the feeling the question was more for her benefit than to satisfy his own curiosity.
She shook her head, though the movement felt odd, as if her neck no longer tethered her skull to her body. "I didn't have time to aim to stun." She shook her head again. "Maybe I could have managed to stun two but then the other two would've—"
"No, Leia. Leia." She stopped moving her head and looked in his eyes. "Don't start reworkin' scenarios or you're gonna make yourself miserable. C'mon." He stepped back and gestured in the direction of the cockpit, allowing her to step in front of him.
Leia slid into her usual seat behind Han's, nodding in greeting to Chewie and Nihal. The nervous energy that had fueled her momentary aggression with Einara seemed to seep from her body entirely once she fastened her crash webbing. She slumped in her seat, eyes screwed shut.
All killing is easier than I want it to be. She wondered if her own words from the week prior rang as loudly in Han's head as they did her own. Leia patted her hip for her blaster and made sure the safety was engaged, making a mental note to disassemble it to dry as soon as they were in hyperspace.
She felt Nihal watching her and exhaled briefly before turning to face him. "Did Einara and Jarys tell you what we saw?"
He nodded slightly. "Mass execution of militia members. Four were taken away for further questioning before release."
Leia nodded, finally feeling as if she could breathe normally. "The four are free. Or they were when I left. I know what I did was risky, but…" She trailed off, expecting Nihal to interrupt in annoyance or frustration, but his expression was open, lacking judgment.
"But?" he prompted.
"They were going to interrogate them. They said that much before hauling them off. We have no idea if the four beings they had in custody have Alliance information, and I don't trust anyone to stand up to Imperial interrogation. Not even…I don't know how I did it. I don't think I could do it again." Leia frowned, a muscle in her cheek twitching. "They were probably going to kill them, Nihal. I—I told them as much when I let them go."
"Were you seen?"
Leia closed her eyes in thought. "Not by any beings other than the four. I don't think the stormtroopers I shot even…" She trailed off, stomach churning, and resisted falling back into the trap of imagining new scenarios Han had warned against. "I can't guarantee there isn't a recording of me somewhere of course, but I kept hidden behind formations as much as possible. I don't think the prisoners recognized me."
"You're sure?"
"There's no way to be sure, but when it happens enough, you can just tell when someone recognizes you. They get a look about them…" She laughed softly and shrugged. "Putting my princess training to good use, I suppose. I don't think they knew who I was. I can't say they won't realize it later, but they didn't know in the moment."
"Don't see why it matters," Han said. "Can't imagine we're goin' back."
"I wouldn't be too hasty in assuming that," Nihal said evenly.
Leia shook her head. "They're stationing a garrison on the planet. I don't know in which settlement. Maybe all over. The announcement seemed intentionally vague."
Nihal furrowed his brow and stroked one of his horns absently with his thumb. "That changes things." He nodded. "It'll be Seertay's call, but you're likely right, Captain Solo. We can't chance heading straight into a garrison."
Han didn't answer, but instead warned, "'bout to enter hyper."
Once they were settled into a hyperspace lane, Chewie, who had been quiet since Leia entered the cockpit, turned in his seat, head tilted and nostrils flaring as if he smelled something odd. He looked Leia over. [Princess, your hands.]
Leia looked down at her hands. Her fingers were scraped raw and bleeding. She looked at them curiously, not quite feeling the level of pain she expected from the injuries.
Han turned in a manner that almost seemed too controlled and picked Leia's hands up, examining her fingers. "You got four kill shots like this?" She nodded numbly. "Outta how many?"
"Four."
He raised his eyebrows and shook his head in disbelief. "Hurt anywhere else?"
She shook her head.
Han sighed loudly as he stood and abruptly left the cockpit. Leia barely glanced after him, used to him jumping into action before bothering to explain himself. She turned back to Nihal. "Einara is very angry with me."
He arched an eyebrow and nodded slowly. "We all heard."
"I wasn't just going rogue, Nihal. I wasn't trying to play hero. But I—we have to consider the lives at stake, as well as the entire Alliance, not just our current mission."
Nihal nodded. "I don't disagree." He paused, seeming to consider Leia carefully. "How did you know to look in the center of town?"
She frowned, brows scrunching slightly. "I heard—Did you not hear—"
Han returned holding nothing, and Leia realized somewhat belatedly that she had assumed he disappeared to find the Falcon's med kit. "Phibs wants you in the med bunk so she can fix you up," he said as he settled into his seat.
Leia rolled her eyes. "I'm fine here."
"You're drippin' blood on my clean deckplates."
She looked beyond her fingers at the floor. There were indeed blood droplets near her boots, though Han's definition of clean was questionable. She sighed, not wanting to move, but aware that she needed her wounds tended to.
Han shot her a mockingly sympathetic expression. "I know, it's real hard letting someone else do somethin' for ya. But just think of how embarrassin' it'll be if, after everything, you die of a finger infection." He shook his head solemnly and turned back to the Falcon's controls. "Think we'll all be embarrassed foryou if that happens."
[Utterly mortified], Chewie agreed.
Leia rose from her seat, but scowled at the back of Han's head for good measure. She was really only mildly irritated, and more at her body than anything else, but there was a particular rhythm to their interactions that she found comforting, and that rhythm required she be at least a little miffed by being told what to do.
She walked the short distance to the med bunk and saw that Naj already had the big med kit out. Leia sat on the bunk, legs hanging over the edge, and held out her hands "Think I'll survive?" she quipped.
Naj rolled her eyes. "Solo made it sound like you were about to lose a finger," she said, peering over Leia's wounds with muted interest.
"Solo is the most dramatic person on this ship, and I fully recognize the irony in me saying that considering the display you were privy to earlier."
Naj wrinkled her nose slightly and began to clean out the wounds on Leia's right hand. Leia winced as the sting of the antiseptic solution she applied traveled up her fingers and into her hand. "'Nara is…passionate about what she thinks is best. We all are, but she tends to be more expressive than most."
"I simply don't understand what the concern was in this particular instance," Leia said stubbornly. "I wasn't endangering anyone else. Worst-case scenario, I'm a casualty of my own stupidity. It happens."
Naj laughed incredulously. "Oh, yes, lose the face of the rebellion on her first mission with SpecForce," she said sarcastically. "That'd go over well with the entire Alliance, I'm sure."
Leia bristled. "I'm not 'the face of the rebellion'," she said. "This fight is nearly as old as I am."
"Yeah, I know. You're still the face of the rebellion." Naj covered her fingers in bacta gel and began to apply synthskin patches with careful precision.
Tense quiet settled between the two women. Leia watched as Naj finish with her right hand, then tossed wrappers and bloody gauze before she got to work on the left. Leia clenched and unclenched her jaw a few times. "I never wanted to be," she finally said. "The face of the rebellion. I—I just want to help the cause however I can."
"You were at the wrong place at the right time," Naj said slowly as she picked a minuscule pebble out of Leia's thumb. "You had war crimes committed against you and those crimes didn't affect your youth or your excellent communication skills or your connections or your face. You were practically made for propaganda, and the powers that be jumped at the chance to use your story. I get it. And I don't envy you; it sounds like a lot of pressure. But there's also a lot of pressure on everyone around you to keep you safe."
Leia squinted slightly. "Did someone say that was your priority?" she asked suspiciously.
Naj paused and looked her in the eye. "They didn't have to."
She shook her head. "The Alliance comes first, always. That means over my safety. If I need to talk to Seertay or someone else about that, I certainly will."
Naj shook her head without saying another word, though her face was pinched in mild exasperation, as if she was frustrated that Leia didn't understand something. She finished wrapping synthskin on Leia's left hand and packed up the med kit.
"Tell Solo I'm ninety percent sure you'll keep at least three fingers," Naj said wryly as she stepped in the direction of the main hold.
She fully intended to sleep, but after the adrenaline faded and she had time to sort through the events of the day, Leia was bombarded with images of the twenty prisoners who had been shot in the square. She wondered how many more deaths there had been that day. The Grand Moff made a point to say the prisoners were from that settlement; did that mean similar executions had occurred in other settlements? Had they managed to captured all of the militia cells, or only some of them?
She sat in Han's seat in the cockpit, gripping a mug of tea and staring out into space, avoiding meeting Chewie's stare. The Wookiee had been watching her carefully since dinner, and she felt he had to realize how obvious he was about it. Leia knew there was no escaping his concern with as late as it was — everyone else on board the ship was asleep, or at least pretending to be, so there was no chance of an interruption or distraction. She instead hoped simply not acknowledging his attention would cause him to move on.
She should've known better.
[Do you want to talk?]
Leia shook her head before abruptly changing her mind and nodding. She shook her head again. "I don't know," she finally admitted.
[The others talked before you made it back to the ship. It sounded upsetting, what happened.]
She pursed her lips and sipped the spicy, soothing tea. It wasn't Gatalentan, though she noticed Han did have a surprising amount of that variety stashed in a cupboard. She had opted instead for the blend that Chewie had given her on Yavin. It was comforting in a way the other wasn't.
"The others didn't actually see all of it, I don't think," she said quietly.
[What did you see, Princess?]
Leia shook her head, sipped, blinked. If she closed her eyes for too long, they were there in living color: fifteen Ishi Tib, three Gungans, two humans dropping in a sort of overlapping stagger. She wondered if they had bothered to do anything with their bodies.
She felt Chewie's heavy, hairy paw rest on her forearm. [I remember when the Empire came to Kashyyyk. They did not take us as slaves right away. They did not want to risk an uprising, I don't think.] He smiled grimly. [There are few things more powerful than angry Wookiees.]
"I can imagine," Leia said softly.
[They almost snuck in. They said they were there for our protection, because there had been so much unrest. They didn't want to see so many Wookiees slaughtered like during the war. And then they said they found some traitors. They killed them. Two of them were my friends.] Chewie paused and tilted his head slightly with a soft, mournful whine. Leia stacked her hand on top of his and squeezed. [They said they needed to bring in more Imperials to protect us, that the blockade they set up would be temporary, and when they had enough of their own in place to overpower us, they did.] He paused again. [Was it anything like that, Princess?]
Leia nodded, chilled by how exactly like that the little bit she had seen had been. "They killed twenty beings, Chewie. Right there in the middle of town."
[I am sorry you had to see that.]
She shrugged lamely. Like with Kier and Col and Scarif and Alderaan, there was no going back. It was best for her if she didn't think about it too much, didn't replay the scene in her head again. It would likely replay itself plenty in her dreams, anyway.
Leia's mind whirred even as her body seemed to wilt from exhaustion. What Chewie had described, what she had seen…it seemed like it was a pattern. She thought of Einara's reaction to the events of the morning and sighed. "Do you think that's how they took over Ryloth?" she asked. The homeworld of Twi'leks had been under the hand of the Empire for as long as Leia could recall. Nominally free, the planet boasted a heavy — and, as Leia understood it, unwelcome — Imperial presence. And Twi'leks certainly weren't protected by the Empire; it wasn't uncommon to see Twi'lek slaves across the galaxy.
[I do not know. It's certainly possible.]
She nodded slowly. She didn't know, couldn't know for certain, but she wondered if something they heard in the square had brought to Einara's mind the plight of her own people, if that was the reason she had reacted so strongly to Leia deviating from their mission so dramatically. I need to talk to her, to try to work things out, she thought. This was only their first mission together; there would be many more, and Leia was practically living with Einara as well. She needed to try to make amends.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one should be posted on Friday, September 29, 2023. Also, I did want to mention again since there have continues to be some issues off and on with FFN, that I post everything I post here over on AO3 under the same username. You know, just in case things aren't available on FFN for whatever reason. Thanks for reading!