A/N: It's been 5 months since I last updated ehehe 😅 so here I am, posting this for christmas against my better judgement.

Thank you sirena_sensei for beta-editing/reading this chapter! This chapter is so perfect because of you!

Shout out to cheshire_catR27
belated happy birthday to you! Enjoy this very late birthday and christmas gift wrapped into one hfkdks

Now, enjoy this Christmas update!💞 (i completely forgot to update on FFN so this is 4 days late here)

Thank you for all the favorites, follows, and reviews for this fic. :)

Ten

"I'm Tsuna... with memories from the future."

There, he'd said it.

His heart beat furiously in his chest. With his hands turning clammy with sweat and tears and eyes stinging from his earlier breakdown, Tsuna waited for the verdict.

Reborn stilled, black eyes pierced through him, as if it wanted to probe deeper through his soul, to uncover everything behind his uttered words. Tsuna almost stopped breathing as obsidian orbs seemed to swallow him whole, gaze shrewdly glinted as the owner of those mesmerizing eyes calculated for a response.

Reborn ruffled Tsuna's messy brown hair and pulled back.

"I suppose that proves my theory." The verdict washed away the feeling of Reborn's warmth on his damp hair.

Something bubbled within Tsuna's stomach, an uncomfortable curling that set his teeth on edge even as his skin prickled with heat.

A shaky breath left Tsuna's mouth. "Of course." he laughed. "Nothing escapes the greatest hitman, huh?" And then he chuckled, because if he didn't he might start crying again.

After a short uncomfortable silence, Tsuna finally asked, "How...?"

He trailed off. Reborn, as if could hear the unspoken question, inaudibly exhaled.

"I was gone for a week, but when I returned your eyes were different. You were acting too old to be a teenager and it made me think of us, the Arcobaleno. You were acting more… mature." Reborn abruptly stopped as if he hadn't meant to say that before deciding to continue the sentence. "and yet frail." he finished, voice soft.

Tsuna remained silent. The brunet pulled his knees together, hands crossed over them with a tight grip. Tsuna closed his eyes and buried his head between them, hiding his face from Reborn. All the while, his heart pounded next to his ears.

Chubby hands took hold of his digits, carefully dislodging nails from dented skin. The sudden warmth startled him, and Tsuna snapped his gaze back to Reborn, eyes wide.

"Reborn?" Tsuna's voice stuck in his throat and heat seeped into his body.

Reborn huffed. "Idiot-Tsuna, if I don't do this, you are going to hurt yourself more." Tsuna blinked dumbly, then slowly gazed downward to find that, yes, his palm was indeed bleeding. The brunet watched with forced detachment even as his heart thumped loudly in his chest because Reborn was holding him: not with a bruising grip, but a firm, steady hold. It was anchoring. Calming.

Reborn's hands were so small and calloused, it reminded him of his hands. Yes, it was the hand of a toddler, but at the same time it didn't belong to a child. That's right, it was still Reborn's hands through and through, with the same placing of rough calluses, the same hand that used to touch him. Everything was so Reborn, like his Reborn, that Tsuna was left to absent-mindedly watch his Sun Flames glow in soft yellow hue.

Reborn didn't have to heal him, and yet he was doing it by his own choice. It was heartwarming. It filled him with affection that he could feel another cupid arrow shooting him.

Tsuna's gaze softened and somewhere deep inside him he finally found the courage to start speaking. This was the right time to tell his advisor, his confidant, his… Tsuna wanted Reborn to know.

"The men I…" Tsuna's voice broke at first, he took another breath before returning his gaze up to his tutor. "The men I killed are one of the reasons I came here. They succeeded in their experiments and openly went against Vongola since then. But before that, they…" Tsuna hesitated, then continued. "They took someone from me." Tsuna's eyes flashed with flickering Sky Flames, his grip unconsciously tightening.

"That's why I'm here." Tsuna admitted. The brunet's heart was heavy by the end of his explanation.

The rain was beginning to let up but hadn't stopped yet. Occasionally, lightning would flash across the sky and the pacifier replica wrapped around his neck shone whenever the light barged between the curtains. Tsuna's heart pounded anxiously, wanting to know what Reborn was thinking. He fervently wished that Reborn wouldn't connect the dots, but he knew it was a lost cause.

Reborn's healing flame disappeared as the cut closed, but he didn't let go of him, as if the owner knew that the same hands could make and unmake Tsuna. As if Reborn was Tsuna's lifeline.

"That person…" Reborn said carefully, searching for something on Tsuna's face. "It was me, wasn't it?"

Tsuna winced, Reborn's words tightening the imaginary chains around his heart in a choking vice that Tsuna wanted to double over, to clutch and claw at his chest. Reborn's presence was the only thing keeping his mind from falling back into the memory of… that day. He was tempted to not answer, to consider denying, or that he hadn't heard, but Tsuna just inhaled. Reborn was Reborn. He should have expected something like this. Even if Tsuna didn't say anything, Reborn would still know. The man had known him since Tsuna was thirteen, it would be stranger if Reborn didn't catch on.

In lieu of an answer Tsuna could only nod, throat closing up and preventing him from saying anything to refute the statement. Tsuna waited for a sign that Reborn was disappointed, upset, even angry, for anything really. But it never came.

Even now and then–

Tsuna's hand fisted tighter as tears dripped onto his knees.

–You never change do you, Reborn?

"I'm sorry, Reborn." Tsuna hiccupped, shame and guilt filling him up so much that he began to tremble. "I… I couldn't protect you."

Reborn squeezed his hand in a borderline painful grip, Tsuna couldn't help but yelp as Reborn threw a glare in his direction.

"I can only theorize how my future self died." Reborn started. Tsuna couldn't get any interruption out before his tutor plowed on like a bulldozer. "But I'm sure he didn't die with regret."

… Why won't you blame me? Wasn't it obvious that it's my fault?

Tsuna made a frustrated sound. "You don't understand, Reborn!"

Then it came, the memories of that day began to overwhelm him. His gaze turned hazy and blurry. He wasn't in his old room anymore, but in that wretched darkness. Back to the smell of charred flesh, to the taste of dried blood stuck in the back of his throat, clinging to the tip of his tongue, and to his beloved's cold body draped over him: immovable like a wall, firm and lifeless. A broken sound ripped from his throat, but before Tsuna could start screaming a squeaky voice called his name and a forceful hand pulled him back to the present. In a flash, Tsuna was back to his teenage room, to Reborn's grounding warmth.

There was no metallic taste on his tongue, only the saltiness of tears he'd shed anew. Reborn's dead body wasn't cocooning him in a protective shell but Tsuna could still feel him. The brunet shuddered, he ached to recreate that last phantom embrace and drown, drown, drown.

Tsuna was kneeling before the man he'd failed in that future.

Stop. Reborn...

Tsuna let out another sound, somewhere between a wail and a whine, like the death throes of an injured animal right before its death.

You… You…

"You died protecting me!" Tsuna yelled, voice catching on his throat. "Why did you protect me? Why… did you leave me behind?"

.

.

.

Why was I not strong enough to keep both of us alive?

.

.

.

A/N: Andd it's another cliffhanger rofl. I am not sorry UwU

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to y'all!

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