Once upon a time – mainly Regina
Regina:
It hurts. Every bone, every cell of my body hurts. Well, what did I expect from absorbing a death curse? At first I didn´t want to do it. The fear of facing my mother was just too strong. But then Henry showed up and started pleading with me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't give him more reason to hate me. So I decided to stop it. To absorb that curse and let it fill my body. I decided to save his real family - to bring Emma and Snow back. I heard Henry call mom in my dace. How stupid it was to think that he meant me. He ran to Emma and Snow. Guess I have to accept that he doesn't see me as a mother anymore. But that hurts so much more than the curse which runs through my body right now. I can´t stand the thought that I lost my happy ending again. I lost everything. Snow gets hers once again. She can play happy family with her Charming, Emma and My Son. I can´t watch this. I can´t stay in a town where everything gets taken away from me. As soon as I feel better I will leave. I hope it is sooner rather than later.
Henry:
Finally, they are back. I have missed them so much. Regina has to lean on a tree to stay upright. But that doesn't really bother me right now. I have my family back. "What happened?", Snow asks as she looks around. "She saved you", I tell them and everyone looks at an exhausted Regina. "Where is my husband?", Snow asks and makes her way to David with Ruby. Emma and I go to Regina and Emma talks about Cora with her. I am not really listening because I enjoy having Emma back. We leave Regina and go to David.
Emma:
I am so glad that we are back. That I can hug Henry again. I have missed him so much. I will never leave him again. I am surprised that Regina saved us. "So your Mom. She is a hard piece of work", I tell the woman in front of me. "That she is" she answers. I can see that even talking must be difficult for her. I can partly understand why Regina became the way she is now. It surely isn´t easy growing up with such a mother. But that doesn´t excuse the things she did. I had a shit childhood too but I never thought about chasing a girl and blame her for something like beauty. I still regret that I gave Henry up. That's one of the reasons why I don´t like Regina around him. She got to see his first steps and his first nightmare. His first day at school. I regret that I didn´t see that. That I couldn´t raise him. But I am here now and I won´t let anything happen to my son. More importantly I will make sure that Regina doesn´t hurt him again. With one last nod at Regina Henry and I leave. We make our way to David.
Regina:
They all celebrate at Granny´s. Not that it bothers me but I saved their precious Snow and her precious savior daughter. Well she hasn´t done much saving related except for breaking my curse. I saved them and brought them back and the so called Charming's didn´t even had the decency to ask if I wanted to join them. I risked my life bringing people back who I detest. But it doesn´t matter. I would have said no anyway. I have more important things to do right now. For example, packing. Well I finished that just minutes ago and my stuff is already in the car. I am sitting in the dining room right now. With a glass cider in my hand and thoughts of Henry in my head. For him I will never be Regina, his mother. For him I am and will always be Regina, the evil queen. I don´t matter to him anymore even though I raised him for the first ten years of his life. It seems like he forgot everything. All the good times we had. The ten years where I was only his mother. When he hadn´t had this damn book. After he got that everything went downhill. And he forgot that I was and still am his mother. Although he doesn´t see me as such anymore he is and will always be my son. I can´t leave without some sort of good bye. I wrote him a letter and I can´t decide if I should give it to him or just leave it at the mansion. Waiting for him to find it when he realizes that I have left. I choose the last option. I can´t see him in the eye. Not now. Because if I do I know that I won´t leave. I would stay and have to see him every day which would be torture. So I choose the last option. Originally I wanted to wait until I feel better. My body still hurts but I can´t stay another minute in this god forsaken town. So I drink my cider, lock the doors. Go to my car and drive to the town line. Before I cross it I think back to better times. When I thought my happy ending would be here in Storybrooke. How wrong I was. Maybe I was never meant to find my happiness in this town with this people. People which turned out as a bunch of hypocrites in the end. Maybe my happy ending was across from that line? Far away from my past that I couldn´t escape. Let´s try a different town, different people, different me. Where my past doesn´t haunt me. I made up my mind. One last look at my old life and Henry. After that I start the engine and finally cross the line and leave this damn town.
3 weeks later
Henry:
Okay that is really weird. No one has heard from Regina nor seen her in three weeks. At first I thought she just wants my attention and that I come back to her. That she will show up when everything has settled down. But it´s been three weeks and although I don´t like it I still care for her. What if something happened to her? I have to make sure that she is alright. So I go to the mansion. To her home. To my old home. As I stand on her doorstep I realize that the house is dark and silent. There are no lights on, the windows are closed and I can only hear silence from inside. No high heels clicking on the floor. Now I am really worried. I am looking for the spare key under a stone. I hope it is still there. I unlock the door and take a deep breath before I open it. I step inside and I am greeted by silence. I look around and decide to go upstairs. Carefully I make my way to my old room. As I look at it I think back to the way it used to be. When there was just her and me. Before the book and everything shattered. Before I doubted her and her love for me. I realize now that she really loved me and that I miss her. Well I miss my mom and how she used to be when I was little. Before I have found out that I was adopted. As I make my way to her room I realize that she was a great mom. I still can smell her favorite perfume which I now realize I have missed a lot. She did everything she could to make me happy. Even when I said awful things to her she still tried to please me. She helped bringing the people back she hates. She tried everything to get my attention and to prove that she has changed. I didn't. I was too blinded to see that she is still my mom. That she loves me. That she was the one who raised me while Emma decided to give me up. I realize that she was the one who was there to hold my hand when I was sick. Who comforted me when I was sad or scared because of a nightmare. She was the one who told me everything would be fine on my first day at school. When I was too scared to go inside and didn´t want to let her go. She told me that I don't have to be scared because she will be there when school ends and that there was nothing that could keep her away from me. She was the one I could count on and trust that she would never leave me. I realize that she still is my mom and that I still love her more than she knows. More than I knew just a few minutes ago. She will always be my mom. When I think about it I realize how much I have hurt her by saying she wasn´t. By calling her Regina instead of mom. By calling a woman mom who barely knew me at the time. Who gave me up. I start hating myself for the way I have treated her. For putting other people before her and forgetting her and the good times with her. She more than anyone deserves to be called mom. More than Emma to be honest. She isn´t in her room and I go to the dining room. Once there I see a letter on the table. I go to look at it. Henry is written on it and I recognize the neat handwriting. She wrote it. That's when I realize it. Something I denied for so long. I denied it even when I didn't see her car outside. I told myself that it couldn´t be. That she wouldn´t do that to me because she herself said it to me on my first day at school. But that was years ago and so much had changed since then. Still it couldn´t be. It can´t be. But there is no other explanation then this one. She left. She left me. Without saying goodbye.
Regina
Sunlight streams through my window as I slowly wake up. I open my eyes- I look at the clock which is on the night stand and read 5:30 am. It is way too early to be awake. Even though I want to turn around and fall asleep again I know that won´t work. Too much is on my mind for that. So I slowly sit up and get out of my comfy bed. I go to the kitchen and make coffee. While I wait for the coffee to be finished I put the two wine glasses into the dishwasher and the empty wine bottle into the sink. It has gotten way too late yesterday or today. Depends on how someone sees it. I hear movement in the other bedroom and start preparing a second cup. Because God knows she will need it as much as I do. If someone told me that she would be sharing a loft with me two weeks ago I would have declared them insane. But people change and so do relationships and friendships.
"Why the hell are you up so early?"
"Because I can´t sleep and I thought you would like to awake to fresh coffee." I smile at the blonde who makes her way to the counter. She wears a black t-shirt and short green shorts which doesn´t surprise me. Her hair is put together in a messy ponytail and she smiles at me.
"But if you don´t want it…" I start but get interrupted.
"Don´t you dare think about not giving me coffee!"
We look at each other and smile. It has been years since I have felt this way. This comfortable. I can be who I am around her and because of that she is my best friend. Never in my whole life had I imagined that. I never thought I would say that about Tinkerbell but it is true. She drinks her coffee and her smile fades when she looks at me.
"So. Why are you up so early?" she asks.
"Like I have said. I have too much on my mind to sleep." I tell her. Suddenly my coffee seems very interesting. Which doesn't go unnoticed by Tink.
"Well after half a bottle of wine and the things we talked about I couldn´t sleep either. I have also smelled coffee which helped me to get out of bed. So now answer the question without trying to change the topic." She smiles at me and I know I have to answer.
"Henry. If he misses me. If I have made the right decision by leaving him."
"I thought it would be something like that. Regina you have made the right decision by leaving. You couldn´t stay in a town where everyone despises you and everything you do is declared to be part in an evil vendetta of yours. You have changed. Even though we have just met three weeks ago. I can see that. After everything you have told me you really have tried to be a better person. But all the trying isn´t going to work if no one believes in you especially your son. You needed to leave. You couldn´t have changed if you have stayed in a place where everything you do gets judged and a woman who is just five minutes in this town gets all the support."
"But I was the evil queen. How could someone support me knowing that I have killed and murdered thousands of people?"
"You just said it yourself. You were the evil queen. You have absorbed a death curse to bring your enemies back and risked having Cora back too. You have killed your true love again to make sure he won´t hurt anyone. You have allowed your son to live with another family although you have raised him. You have tried to gain his trust again. After the hurtful things he said you have tried to please him and make him happy."
"Yes but Emma and this hypocrites of a family…"
"Emma didn´t help you either. Yes, she is the savior but all she did until now was to break a curse and take Henry from you. After the things you have told me I can totally understand why you don´t like her. I haven't met her and even I don't like her for the way she thinks she can just show up and make decisions for Henry like a mother. As if she thinks that by showing up now everything would be the way she wants it. Like she never gave him up and can make the decisions that legally only you can make. Legally you are his mom and not her. She gave him up and she should live with it and not demand him like a stuffed animal. My point is that you have changed and that with your past you don't have to prove something to anyone. Of course she didn´t have a great childhood too but everything is better than growing up with your mother. If you one day decide to return back to Storybrooke I will come with you. I will stay by your side and will tell them what I think of them especially Snow and Emma." She smiles.
"Promise?" I ask her. The feeling of hope growing inside of me.
"Promise!" I smile at her and a tear escapes my eyes and roles down my cheek.
"Thank you."
"Always." She reaches forward and takes my hand in hers. I look up at her.
"Can I ask you something?" she asks.
I am unsure at first but after everything I know I can trust her and that I have her on my side, always.
"Sure"
She smiles. "Does he know?"
I look at her and raise my eyebrows. She can see that I don´t know what she is talking about.
"Your story? The truth about what Snow did and that you don´t despise her because of beauty? What you had to do before you have left?"
I look at her. Understanding what she asks and why. I take a sip of my coffee before I answer.
"No." My voice is so quiet that I don't know if she heard me.
"Why not?" She asks in a gentle understanding tone.
"Well I know how it feels to be hated. I know how it feels to have ripped away from you. I just… "I take a deep breath. "Even though I hate Snow. I don´t want her to feel the hate that I have felt. I know how to handle it and she doesn´t. Like you have said before I have had Cora as a mother. I had to grow up with such a mother and with the things she did when I didn´t behave the way she wanted. Cora taught me that. She taught me how to be strong and build up walls so no one could hurt me. Love is weakness she used to say when my actions were out of love. Snow doesn´t know how to put everything behind a wall and into compartments. I do because that was the only way I have survived my childhood and Cora."
"Yes you had Cora as a mother but that doesn´t mean that you have to lie to your own son and it certainly doesn't mean that Snow deserves to be seen as a saint. Henry deserves to know the truth. He deserves to know how you were before. The reason why you have become the evil queen. The truth and not some story from a book. I promised you to stay by your side and to have your back through good and bad and I will keep it but can you promise me something too?"
"Okay."
"Promise that when the time is right or the topic come up you will tell him the truth. The whole truth about Cora, Snow and most importantly Daniel. Why you didn´t want Cora to return and that the thought of her also played a part in you leaving. I know you mentioned it in your letter to him but please tell him everything. Can you do that?"
"I can´t promise that." I don´t want to. I don't want him to know what I have been through and what Cora did to me.
"Then know that if you won´t tell him the truth I will. Don´t you think that it is better for him to hear it from you?"
"Okay I will tell him. When and only when the time is right or he asks me about it. I won´t lie to him."
"Perfect. That's all I am asking for. You won´t regret it." She smiles.
"I hope so." I tell her and finish my coffee.
1 month and a week later
Henry
It has been two months now since my mom left. I know I used to call her Regina but after the day at the mansion and the discovered letter for me I started calling her mom again. I thought about it and realized that she is my mom. I miss her so much. More than I have thought I would. I have also stopped calling Emma mom. I call her now by her name. I am distancing myself from her and I know it hurts her. But how can I call her mom if she wasn´t my mom to begin with. I didn´t grow up with her as a mother. I grew up with Regina as my mother. She is my real mother because she was there and did everything she could to make me smile. Now she has left. My mom has left and suddenly I can´t stand the thought of calling Emma mom. I haven´t told Emma about the letter. I don´t think she needs to know. Currently I am sitting on my bed and look at said letter. I haven´t opened it and therefor haven´t read it. A part of me wants to know what she wrote. Why she left although I think I understand it now. It probably was partly my fault. The other part of me doesn´t want to read it. The other part is scared about what she wrote and wonders if it was me that drove her to that decision. So I keep looking at the letter and turn it around in my hand as I hear someone knocking on my door.
"Henry. Get out of your room." I hear Emma say. I tell her to go away and to leave me alone. I know it is harsh but I can´t help it. I don´t want to talk to her. I don´t want her to tell me everything will be fine and that it is best that mom left. Because it won´t and it most certainly isn´t best that my mom felt that she had to leave. I want to talk to her. I want my mom to tell me that everything will be fine in the end. That she misses me and that she comes back to me and will never leave me again. I want her to fight my nightmares away. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks and I wipe them away. I am about to open the letter when my door opens.
"Didn´t you hear me? Why can´t you come out of your room?" Emma asks with her hands on her hips. I try to hide the letter but it´s too late. She has already seen it and takes it from me.
"What´s this?"
"A letter and I won´t it back!" I tell her. I try to get it back. She can´t have it, she can´t read it. It is mine and only mine.
"I can see that. I will give it back to you after you have told me it is not from whom I think it is."
"What does it matter who wrote it? It is mine and therefor I am the only one who reads and will read it!" My anger rises and I panic. I won´t allow her to read the probably last personal words from my mom to me. This is something between her and me and I won´t allow Emma to destroy it. Emma is about to open it when I start yelling at her and fighting for the letter as if my life depended on it.
"Give it back! You have no right to read it! You are the reason she left. Because of you she left me. Because of you my mom left me alone!"
She stops and looks at me. Shock written all over her face. I take that as an opportunity to get the letter back.
"I am your mother." She tells me.
I stand up and make my way out of my room.
"Maybe biologically. But she raised me my whole life! She was there when I needed her! It took me long get it but I do now. She was my mom when you weren´t there. She raised me after I have been given up by you. I don´t hold it against you and I understand why you did what you did but she is my mom and nothing you say will change that. You have to accept it and if you can´t it is your problem."
While I say that we arrive at the door. I take my jacket and open the door. She wants to say something but I won´t let her.
"She was, is and always will be my mom and I miss her and I regret treading her the way I did. But at least I know that I have made a mistake and I am truly sorry for that. I just want her back. I want my mom back!" With that said I leave the apartment and make my way to my old home.
Emma
It´s been hours since he has left. I try to call him but he won´t pick up. Maybe I have overreacted a little bit with the letter but Regina left! With no goodbye she left him. How can she do that? Didn´t she think about Henry? How he would feel? I hate her! I hate her for leaving! I hate her for taking Henry from me without being actually here. The door opens and my hopes get shattered when I don´t see the person I desperately need to apologize to walk through it.
"What´s wrong?" Snow asks.
"Why do you think something is wrong?" I ask her back.
"Well first of all – "she starts while taking off her jacket "- you pace around the as if you have had too much Red Bull or coffee." She gives me a look.
"Which I know isn´t the case. Second Henrys jacket is missing. According to the look of disappointment on your face as you saw me entering, you have no idea where he is. So what´s wrong?"
I don´t like it when she knows everything just by looking at me. I put my hand through my hair as I sit down. I look at her.
"We had a little bit of an argument and he left. That was three hours ago and he hasn't been back since.
She takes a seat opposite from me.
"What was it about?" She asks. I tell her everything that had happened and she looks at me with disappointment in her eyes.
"I know I should apologize and that I have overreacted but he is my son. I just want to protect him." She raises her eyebrows.
"Protect him from what? Regina?" she asks disbelievingly.
"Yes! -" I raise my voice a little. Now she looks even more disappointed.
"- I don´t want her to him." She laughs a little and I am really questioning her sanity right now.
"Are you serious?" She asks. I look at her and she starts talking again.
"Oh my god you are. I will tell you what I think. What I truly think. Not the flowered version to please you or make you feel better. Can you handle it?" She asks. Although I am not sure if I want to hear it I nod.
"Alright. I think it not fair of you to take his letter and wanting to read it. Wait. Actually it was a huge mistake. It is a private letter from Regina to Henry and only Henry. She has raised him his whole life. For ten years he was the only mother Henry knew. So he is right. In some way you aren´t his mother and you can never make it up to him You have had your reasons. But you can´t come into town and claim him as your son. Sure he wanted that but now Regina has left and I can totally understand her but that's not the point. The point is that she is not here anymore and Henry realizes how much he misses her and remembers his childhood. All the good sites of Regina being his mom. The times before he had found out the truth about being adopted and evil queens. He doesn´t know the full story. He doesn´t know why Regina became the evil queen in the first place. I remember talking to Regina during the curse. She said something that didn´t make sense back then but now it does. She told me that evil isn´t born, it´s made and I totally agree with her. Regina raised Henry and during those ten years she had never hurt him. When you came around and claimed to be more of a mother than she was she did the only thing that she knew. She built walls around herself and got into defensive mode. Love is weakness she told herself. Than the worst thing happened that she could imagine. You took Henry from her. You did everything you could to keep her from seeing him. Imagine you raise a child for ten years. You see it as your own and give them all the love you have and suddenly their biological mother shows up and does everything to keep you apart. To keep you from seeing the son you love and raised his whole life. How would you react?"
I want to argue but know better of it and just say one sentence.
"Henry didn´t want to see her." I try to reason but I aloud even though I know it is pathetic.
"Really? You´re playing that card? Henry is a child. He had just found out that he was adopted. Of course he didn´t want to see the woman who lied to him his whole life. But as a mother you should have encouraged him to do it though. Be honest Emma. You have enjoyed it. In the meantime, Regina fell apart and did everything to prove herself. Hell she even saved us knowing full well the risk of her mother coming back too. Regina is a strong person. She has been through a lot and survived a lot and if you want to tell me that you had the same shitty childhood and didn´t kill people or the things Regina did, then believe me you didn´t. In the end you have had people who helped you. Regina didn´t. Everyone in her life used her to gain something out of her but never gave a damn about her. But even she has her limits which she now has reached. The fear of Cora being back and Henry rejecting her was too much and so she did the only thing she could think of. She left. She wanted to change but how can you change if every decision you make is being judged and no one believes in you? If she isn´t here Cora will have nothing to gain from this town. In a way she still wants to protect us."
"But Cora didn´t come through. She isn´t here. Even if she was back that's not a good enough reason to leave her son!"
"Her son? I remember the times where Henry and you told her otherwise. At one point she heard it enough and did what she thought was best. She doubted the love of her son and knew Cora would come in one way or another."
"Why is Cora so bad? Sure she isn´t a nice person and won´t get the award for mother of the year but the evil queen could surely fight her." I argue.
"The evil queen maybe but Regina not. Not without going back to her old evil queen persona which in return would hurt Henry again. Also she didn´t want do that after how far she had come and how hard she had worked for it."
"I know Cora and I don´t think she is capable of something like turning Regina back into evil queen mode."
Snow laughs a little and shake her head before she answers.
"You think you know her but you don´t. I know she can do more than just turn Regina evil again. She can easily destroy Regina. You think because you have seen her in the enchanted forest you know her and what she is capable of but trust me she is so much worse than you think. Only Regina knows what Cora is fully capable of. Otherwise Cora wouldn´t have played a part in her daughter becoming the evil queen."
"Why did she become the evil queen anyway? Just because you were prettier than her is a little childish, don´t you think?"
"Don´t believe everything you read Emma. There were more factors that took part in Regina becoming evil. She also didn´t haunt me because of beauty. I have also played a part into turning her evil and I won´t deny that."
She gives me a sad smile and I can´t help asking.
"Why then?"
"You have to ask her. It is not my story to tell and I won´t."
I nod.
"Does Henry know the real reason?"
"I don´t think so. Regina is a private person and hates being seen as weak. But Henry probably is the only person she would tell the story to. If he is old enough and he asks her. He never did so she never told him that the probably most important story isn´t part in his beloved storybook. So yeah I understand why she had left but I hope for everyone´s sake that she will come back."
With that said Snow stands up and goes into the kitchen. Leaving me to my thoughts. The more I think about what she had just said the more I realize that I am a big asshole and that I have made huge mistakes. I just hope Henry shows up soon so I can make everything right with him.
Henry
What did Emma think? She isn´t the most important person in the world! It´s not about her, it´s about my mom! It is about my mom and me. I make my way to my old home. Her room is the only place I want to be right now. I want to remember how it felt to lie curled up in her bed and smelling her perfume after having a nightmare. Why can´t it be like then? Why did I reject the best mom? I screwed up really bad. I am standing at the locked door and try not to cry. I lock it open and make my way up the stairs. It freaks me out that it is this silent. The house used to be so full of life when I was little. Well I come to realize that everything was different before I have found out about the adoption. I walk to her room and see the made bed. I want to cry but I can´t. Not now, I tell myself. I make my way through the room to the bathroom. I realize that she left without her perfumes. The first tear starts to make its way down my cheek as I take one of the perfumes and go back into the bedroom. As I spray the scent onto the bed and the pillow my tears start to run down more freely. As soon as I can smell the scent of my mom I put the bottle down and climb onto the bed. I hold the second pillow tight to my chest as if my life depended on it. I can smell my mom and slowly drift off to sleep.
Emma
It´s getting later and later and no one heard from Henry. I am really worried. I grab my jacket and start my search for him.
Henry
As I slowly wake up I can smell my mom. My eyes shot open and my hopes of her being back grow and get crushed in the same second. I grab the pillow tighter. While I lie in her bed I think about the time when she used to let me sleep in her bed after a nightmare. I remember waking up after a nightmare when I was little. I was so scared and just wanted my mommy. I was around the age of five and made my way to her bedroom with my favorite teddy bear under my right arm. I opened the door to her bedroom. I saw her sleeping on it. I sneaked into the room and came to a halt by the right side of the bed. I watched her sleeping before I climbed onto it and cuddled myself against her sleeping form. I tried not to wake her but in the end she still woke up. She put her hand around my waist and pulled me closer into her. We both smiled and fell asleep soon after. As I recall the memory I feel tears growing behind my eyes. I hold onto the pillow tighter and let the tears fall. As I move I feel the letter in my back pocket. With a shaky hand I pull it out and open it. I am still scared but here in her room I feel secure. So I take a deep breath and begin to read it.
Dear Henry,
When you read this letter I will have left town already. I am so sorry my little prince. I am sorry that I couldn´t be the mother you deserved. I am sorry that I couldn´t show you my love better. I let my insecurities get the better of me. I couldn´t lose you because in the end you are the only thing I can´t live without. So I hope you understand how hard it was for me to watch you with Emma. To you she is your mother and I have to accept that. I have to accept that you don´t see me as a mother anymore, as your mother. I need you to understand why I had to leave. I have tried everything to redeem myself. I saved my enemies so you would see that I was able to change. I did my best to let you see that I wanted to become a better person. In the end I guess it just wasn´t enough. I can stay in a town where most of the people are against me. I did that in the Enchanted Forest and survived. But I can´t stay in a town where everything I love and hold dear gets ripped away from me. The way you see it I am not your mother anymore and the Charmings are your family. But for me you are still my son that I raised for 10 years. For me you will always stay my son no matter what other people say. You were my happy ending for 10 years and I want to thank you for that. The only thing I have always wanted was for you to be happy. So to make my son happy, to make you happy I left. Please don´t blame yourself for it. Now you can stay with your real family without fearing the evil queen. Please remember two very important things. First, I want you to understand that evil isn´t born it´s made and that not every story in your book is fully correct. My story isn´t even in it so please try to not judge people because of their past or you think you know their past. Second, please remember that I love you and nothing you could do or say will ever change that. You will always be my little prince that came to me after having a bad dream. I love you.
-Mo -Regina
I read this letter over and over. The more I read it the more I cry. She didn´t even sign it with mom. I made her believe that she wasn´t worthy to be called mom. How could I do that? She left so I could be happy. I cry so hard and try to keep breathing. I was so stupid! How could I believe that she didn´t love me? Just because she didn´t give birth to me? I want her back! I want to hug her and tell her that I am sorry. That I will never treat her the way I did again. I want to tell her that she is important to me and that I love her and that she is my mother and nothing will ever change that. She shouldn´t believe otherwise. I took her for granted and now she is gone. I need to speak to her. I need to call her and make everything right. Make her feel loved. Before I do that my eyes fall on the letter again. I can´t wrap my head around two particular sentences. Evil isn´t born, it´s made. My story isn´t even in it. I think about it and I realize that I never asked her why. Why she really became evil and hated Snow. I believed the book even though I should have asked her. I should have asked her for the reason and her side of the story. I should have asked her! As I sit on my mom´s bed I make a vow to myself. The next time I see her I will ask her to tell me her story. I want to hear it from her and want to know it now more than ever.
Cora
I look around the bedroom of my daughter. I want to speak to her but the person I see in her bed isn´t her. It´s much smaller. I guess it is her son. He doesn´t know that I am watching him. He can´t see me. I listen to his cries for his mother. If he lays in her bed and cries for his mother, then where is she? Where is my daughter? Where is Regina?
Regina
I am in the kitchen preparing dinner when I hear my phone ringing. I dry my hands with the dish towel as I go to the table where my phone is. I look at it and see the caller ID. My stomach twitches and my hands start to shake. This can´t be. I wasn´t prepared for this. Well to be honest it never crossed my mind that he would call. I try to steady my breath but nothing helps. I can´t move. I just look at the ID of Henry and his contact picture. I want to talk to him so badly and as I am about to answer the phone the ringing stops. I need to sit down and calm myself. With my hands on my forehead I am totally clueless of what to do. When I move my hands through my hair and I am about to stand up my phone beeps. I look at the display again. 1 missed call – Henry. 1 new voice mail – Henry. I struggle with myself. Should I listen to it now? Or later when my nerves are in a normal state again? I decide to hear it later and finish dinner first.
Emma
I am standing outside of her house. That house is the only place I can think of Henry being. It is an odd feeling. Standing on her porch and knowing that she isn´t there. That she isn´t even in town. I have tried calling her but she didn´t pick up. I go to the door and try to open it. To my surprise it is unlocked and I make my way inside. I look around the first floor. As I do it I can feel goosebumps on my skin and a cold shudder running down my back. I can´t find Henry so I make my way upstairs. First I go to his room and see that he isn´t in it. So I go to Regina´s bedroom. I slowly open the door and can see a sleeping Henry laying on the bed. It is weird to be in her room. I feel like I am intruding her personal space, perhaps I do but who cares? She isn´t here anyway. As I look at Henry I start feeling worst then before. If that is even possible. Evil queen or not, Regina is still his mother and he misses her. But he is my son too and I hate seeing him in such an amount of pain. I go to the bed and wake him. As he slowly wakes up I hear him saying mom. Hearing him say that brings tears to my eyes. He hasn´t called me mom since Regina left. When I look at his face though I realize that he hasn´t meant me. I want to cry more. He looks at me with that hurt and cold look.
"What are you doing here Emma?" He asks.
With that asked and the way his voice sounds he reminds me so much of Regina. It hurts to hear him using this voice with me. I am his mother damn it! But maybe just not the one he needs right now. My anger towards Regina rises again. What did she think? To put him in so much pain. Did she even think about the feelings of Henry or just about herself and what was best for her?
"I have been looking for you." I kneel down so I can look him in the eyes.
"Henry, you can´t just run away like that. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"Yes and I am sorry but I miss her!"
"I know but you can´t run off like that. Let´s go home."
I stand up and look at him. Expecting him to stand up too or to at least move. But he just looks at me with a frown.
"I am home. I won´t leave."
I look disbelievingly at him. The longer I look at him the more I realize that he meant what he said.
"Henry you can´t stay here by yourself."
"Well that's a pity because I will stay. You can sleep on the couch downstairs if you want to but I won´t leave this room."
I can see it in his eyes. The determination. So I make my way downstairs and get comfortable on the couch as I slowly drift off to sleep.
Snow
A good warm shower does wonders if you asked me. When I got home I have found a note from Emma -Searching for Henry- I don´t really think that Emma needs to search long. There is only one place where Henry can be. The mansion. Who wouldn´t be in the home of their mother in his situation? As I make my way to my bedroom I see someone at the window. It isn´t David. It´s a person I honestly expected sooner but didn´t want to see. Shit!
"Hello Snow." She greets me as she turns around to look at me. I can´t move and my mouth is dry. I swallow once and take a deep breath before replying.
"Cora."
"I see you have grown into a woman." She states with a smirk.
"Well, time does that to you eventually. Why are you here?"
"Do you really need to ask that? Because I want to see my daughter of course."
I nod and hope that she doesn´t know that Regina left. As I look at her again she starts to speak again.
"You can surely imagine how confused I was when I realized that she isn´t here."
Shit!
"So I ask you dear Snow. Where is my daughter?"
With each word she gets closer to me. I take a deep breath.
"Well I don´t know." I state.
"I don´t believe you." She tells me.
"But it´s the truth."
She glares at me with that expression. The one that tells you it´s better to run now. That expression that Regina used when she haunted me. It shakes me to the core but I try to ignore it. With one last step towards me and a glare that could kill Cora disappears in a cloud of smoke. I let go of the breath that I wasn´t even aware I was holding. I practically run to my phone and call the first person that should know that Cora is back. It rings, rings and rings. Voice mail damn it. I hang up and try it again. As it rings once more I pace around the room. Voice mail again. This time I leave her a message and hope that she hears it soon and calls back or comes straight home!
Regina
"Can I ask you something?" Tink asks as I pour the wine into the two glasses on the counter.
"Sure."
"Did you want to kill yourself or was it really an accident that night?"
I stop my movements for a few seconds. Stunned of that question being asked. Honestly I don´t even know it myself. I finish filling the glasses and put the wine bottle back onto the counter as I take a deep breath.
"Maybe." I tell her. She looks at me with a frown that tells me that she won´t take that as an answer. That I need to explain.
"I didn´t do it intentionally. But I didn´t mind if would have died that day. Maybe it would have been better anyway. I stare at my phone near my wine glass and Tink processes my words. I need to change the topic.
"I don´t know if I should listen to it." She looks at me. Clearly seeing through my attempts. She doesn´t say anything. Tink just looks at me with that look which tells me that this conversation and this topic isn´t over. I sigh. Should have known that she won´t let it be.
"You need to listen to it Regina."
"What if I don´t want to?"
"Are you trying to make me believe that or yourself?" Tinkerbell asks me.
When Tinkerbell got home I told her about Henrys call and his voice mail. I take a deep breath and look at the wine in front of me.
"What if he is mad at me? What if he tells me he is grateful that I have left?"
I take a sip of my wine and so does Tink before she speaks again.
"You won´t know if you don´t listen to it."
I look at her and sigh as my phone buzzes again. I look at it. Another voice mail. This time it´s Snow.
"Listen to them." Tink starts again.
"I am scared." My phone rang the whole day but I have never picked up. Mostly it was Emma that called and she is the very last person I want to speak with. Then it was Henry and Snow called twice.
"Would you like me to leave?" Tink asks.
With that question asked I know I can´t put it off any longer. I think about the answer but already know it.
"Please stay." I tell her and start to listen to the message of Henry.
"I miss you. Please come back to me mom!
It sounds as if he has been crying and that shatters my heart. The fact that he called me mom doesn´t really help. Tink senses my mood and takes my free hand in hers.
"What did he say?" she asks.
"That he misses me." I tell her.
"See told you so!" she counters and smiles a little.
Not in a million years would I have thought that he would miss me. I take another deep breath and start listening to Snows message.
"First, I want to say that I understand why you have left. What makes what I am about to say much harder. You need to come back. You need to get back as soon as you can. Your mother is here and if you want to protect your son you need get to Storybrook. We both know that you are the only one that can defeat her. Please come back."
Shit! I feel like I can´t breathe. My face gets paler and paler and my heart beats so much faster.
"What´s wrong?" Tink asks with a worried face.
"I need to make use of your offer." She looks at me bewildered.
"Cora is in Storybrook. I need to get back and I need you to come with me. I need my only friend at my side."
"Of course!" She answers and we start packing.
But before that I reply to Snow with a text message. -On our way!