Hiraeth

Chapter 1: Life Goes On

"Yesterday was a long night, But I got a feeling that the future is so bright."

-"Dusty", Ed Sheeran

The last time she saw him was a year after she had returned to Earth; she was standing on the train platform looking out at the ocean. He appeared in the distance with his wings spread and a kind smile dancing across his face. Reaching out with her thoughts, she told him she was doing fine, and that was it. Their time together had come to its anticlimactic conclusion, and while she had hoped there would be more for a time, there was no more. She had expected that they would remain in each other's lives as they had promised, but the truth was that they didn't keep in touch. All they had was their short time together on Gaea. Over time, Hitomi came to believe that their time together should have been brief. They were children when they fell in love; her time on Gaea had given her the space to become independent and be part of something important. Ultimately, her story with Van needed to close because first loves never truly work out. They had needed each other during the war, but it was over now. In truth, they had grown and fallen in love but ultimately outgrew each other. Over time, Hitomi realized that their ending was okay, even if their romance was only temporary; she would still uphold her end of their promise and never forget Van Fanel or her time on Gaea.

Years passed, and her life changed. When she returned from Gaea, she arrived near the shrine where she had first met Van and the land dragon, and only six months had passed since her initial disappearance. When she opened her parents' door, her mother cried, and her stepfather was angry. Convinced she had been kidnapped, he went straight to the authorities; she went through endless interviews with police before her file was closed as a runaway, bringing the final blow to her already fractured family. Her behaviour indeed indicated something traumatic had happened. Hitomi lost interest in old hobbies like fortune-telling, could no longer sleep alone and jumped at every noise. Her family was held together with what felt like tape and glue, barely enough to keep the cracks together. She stayed long enough to finish high school before escaping to another country to attend university. As she aged, she hardly communicated with her little brother or stepfather but dutifully continued to call her mother every Sunday, providing a carefully curated update on her life.

That is not to say that Hitomi's life was unhappy; it was quite the opposite. She had created a life full of joy, good friends and laughter. She discovered a passion for music and writing as it allowed her to open up freely about her experiences on Gaea in the guise of metaphors. She wrote about dragons, angels, and princes, but others interpreted her stories and songs as metaphors about resiliency and love's power. She found a new home and a chosen family through roommates and friends. After two international moves, she grew up to become a happy, quasi-successful writer and musician on the East Coast of Canada. Hitomi and her friends had planned to spend the summer of her twenty-fifth year writing and making art at her housemate's family cottage, but the summer and fate had other plans. As it turns out, people make a fuss about anniversaries for a good reason. On the tenth anniversary of her return from Gaea, the two worlds and their inhabitants would come crashing together again.

Sunlight streamed into Hitomi's bedroom through old lace curtains. Stretching, she opened her eyes and rolled over, trying to snuggle closer to the heat of her bedmate. Digging her nose deeper into Amano's armpit, she tried to block out the light.

"Hitomi," the man beside her grumbled, "that tickles."

Resting her chin on his chest, she smiled at him impishly, "I can't help that you're so sensitive, Senpai." She could feel his chest recoil at the use of his old nickname.

"You know I don't like it when you call me that." He retorted peevishly before rolling away from her, "If you aren't careful, you'll be sleeping on your own tonight, little miss." Getting out of bed, he left the room, just narrowly missing the pillow that Hitomi flung at his head as he passed.

"You wouldn't dare, you JERK!" she shouted as she heard him pad his way down the stairs.

Flinging herself backwards, she took a deliciously deep stretch before rolling somewhat ungracefully onto the floor. Looking out the window at the Chester Basin, she sighed contentedly and grabbed a brush from the dresser, running it through her dirty blonde hair. Grabbing a scrunchy, she threw her long hair into a messy bun and approached the kitchen. The sounds of breakfast and the smell of coffee called her like a siren.

Before her disappearance, Hitomi was chronically late and even now, she was always the last to a party. When she was little, before his death, her father used to joke that Hitomi would be late for her own funeral. Breakfast was no different. The four other inhabitants of the house were already making breakfast when she entered the kitchen. Hitomi paused in the doorway, admiring the smooth movements of her friends. They worked in perfect rhythm and looked like a real family. They were a ragtag group of misfits who found each other by accident.

Amano was the oldest of the group. Like Hitomi, he was originally from Japan, and they had attended the same High School. Hitomi had a mad crush on him before her disappearance. He had certainly grown into the appearance of his Gaean doppelganger, Allen Schezar. At twenty-seven, he was tall, muscular and very handsome in an idol sort of way. His hair was cut short, his eyes were cool but kind, and he stood in a rumpled t-shirt and boxers, pouring coffee. Hitomi always found it funny how they had ended up living together. By all accounts, she had overcomplicated his life, and he should hate her. Before her disappearance, he was supposed to leave Japan with his parents for England, but as one of the last people to see her, he was also suspect number one in her presumed kidnapping and eventual murder. The pressure broke his family, and he remained in Japan to deal with consequences that weren't his own. Like Hitomi, he fled across the ocean after graduating from High School to the first university that would take him. At university, he reconnected with Hitomi in a cozy campus coffee shop where they had both worked to make some extra money. Their shared history had bled from awkwardness into an intense closeness, veterans of the same war. He was the reason she had stayed in Nova Scotia after graduation. Post-graduation, he had found a job and bought an old house, and together, they forged a life through the co-mingling of their mutual friends.

At the old mustard yellow vintage stove, Ben, whose family owned the cottage where they were all staying, was fussing over the eggs. Ben was twenty-six and had been Amano's classmate before he dropped out of university to open a restaurant. After several years, the restaurant was successful enough for him to take some much-needed time off, although he still insisted on doing all the cooking. Ben was relatively short compared to Amano, with a shaved head, thick auburn bead and a whole sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. Despite their differences, Ben and Amano were inseparable and made for a funny pair when standing beside each other. Ben, like Hitomi, lived rent-free in Amano's house in the city. He paid for his keep through food; according to everyone, it was well worth the trade.

Ben's partner, Aaron, sat at the kitchen table, digging into a thick piece of toast slathered with butter. Aaron was a long-haired military veteran turned photographer. He had lost his left leg at the knee during his service, the circumstances of which he never divulged. Aaron had immediately recognized the nature of Hitomi's trauma, but they never discussed the source. He was the one who silently and most frequently sat up with her on the nights when she could not sleep. His pictures were haunting and had appeared in magazines and books worldwide. Most recently, he earned his living taking pictures at weddings and music events. Besides Amano, Aaron was Hitomi's closest friend, and she was a frequent visitor to his studio space in the city.

Anna, Hitomi's final roommate, was sitting at the table with Aaron. Anna was Ben's younger sister. Like her older brother, she had a short and stocky build with auburn hair. She wore a large oversized white t-shirt and green basketball shorts that looked suspiciously like the ones that Hitomi had bought Ben for his birthday last year. Like the rest, Anna lived in Amano's house in the city. Unlike the rest, Anna hadn't fully settled on a career and had multiple jobs. Her primary source of paid income came from working in Ben's restaurant, but she also played music with Hitomi and was apprenticing at Aaron's studio. Blunt and tiny, her best description was simply whisky in a teacup. Unlike her brother or his boyfriend, she wasn't a big fan of breakfast. Instead, Anna's morning ritual mainly consisted of nursing a large cup of black coffee and working on the crossword.

Looking up from the stove, Ben smiled at Hitomi when he saw her enter the kitchen, and Amano wordlessly handed her the cup of coffee he had just finished pouring. Hitomi grinned at the peace offering and wandered over to the table, pulling up a chair.

"Are we still planning to have a bonfire tonight?" Hitomi asked brightly, looking out the kitchen window towards the beach.

"Definitely! We should bike to the NSLC for beer." Anna smiled over her coffee cup. "I just need a seven-letter word for 'Kismet,' then I need a shower. After that, we can get going. We can stop by the marina for lunch on the way back."

Anna loved having alone time with Hitomi. Despite living together for the last few years, they rarely had time one-on-one without one of the guys being present. Anna wanted to hear about Gaea again and knew she could only get away with asking about it when they were alone. Amano seemed to have some crazy phobia about the topic, and Aaron and Ben didn't want to "upset" anyone. Anna didn't want to upset Hitomi, but she loved the stories, and Hitomi didn't seem to mind talking about it when they weren't around Amano.

"' Destiny' should be the word you are looking for, and that sounds like a plan to me." Hitomi smiled at her friend. "Yell at me when you are ready. I have an idea for a new song. I want to go down to the beach and mess around on the guitar while you get ready."

Hitomi took a final sip of her coffee and approached the back door. Grabbing her guitar from the hook, she walked towards the beach. The morning was the kind of fairytale perfect summer day you dreamed about as a kid. Settling onto the dock with her feet in the ocean, Hitomi started aimlessly strumming. Blissfully unaware that her world was about to turn upside down for a second time.

While the girl from the Mystic Moon sat on a beach and drifted away to the sound of her guitar, the hills of Fanelia hummed with a different sort of music. The capital city of Adom was preparing for its largest annual festival, music filled the air, and the whole city felt electrified with the joy of the tenth anniversary of the end of the Destiny War. With the anniversary, the great war heroes were meeting at a summit to pay tribute, as was customary, to the Escaflowne. The great guymelef had been sleeping for the past ten years, symbolizing the peace across Gaea. The people of Fanelia shone with the pride of having her king be the most significant war hero. Nearly fully rebuilt, Fanelia was host to delegates from the United Federation of Countries, including Asturia, Fried, Zaibach, Basram, Daedalus, Egzardia and Cesario. The Federation had been part of the war's outcome, a collective of countries who pledged to work together in peace. While not always the most peaceful in their dealings, the shared memory of the Destiny War was still recent enough to keep the thin veneer of stability across the nations.

Kneeling in a cemetery at the back of a castle, a 25-year-old man with raven hair stared at the graves of his family. At fifteen, the deaths had caused a wave of anger that had welled deeply inside, but now they only brought a sweet sadness that still ached but no longer hurt. He came to their graves every year before the celebrations; it gave him time to reflect on the war and his role in it. The peace that came from this time helped him through the festivities. Although he had grown older, he still was not what one would describe as a "people person." He used this time to steel himself to the noise, pomp and splendour that would be his reality for the next few days. It also gave him time to rehearse the answers to the annual questions he received about the girl from the Mystic Moon. The problem with having your first love be a critical factor in ending a major world war is that no one seemed to be able to let it go.

Thinking of Hitomi used to cause him a great deal of pain, another person he had lost. Now, the hurt was less pronounced and more nostalgic. To be young and in love again, the innocence of that love was something that he had not experienced since and likely never would have again. He was thankful that he had met her and the time that they had shared. He viewed the end of their relationship as the end of his youth. The war had been horrible, and the loss of his family and kingdom had forced him to act as an adult too soon, but he still saw the world through young, naïve eyes. The loss of Hitomi had taught him to see that there wasn't always a villain, and sometimes things don't work out. When she first left, he thought of her constantly, but over time, a new life filled his mind, and there was work to do. In that first year, his thoughts reached for hers hourly, then daily, and soon, it was weeks and months before his mind flitted toward hers. He was thankful that their last genuine connection had been positive and that she was doing well. He could look back at their time together now with the perspective of being fully grown. His only problem was that the people of Gaea could not seem to do the same thing.

The silence and solitude were ripped apart with the shrill sound of his childhood best friend and companion shouting from down the path.

"LORD VAN! The delegates from Asturia have arrived! LORD VAN, where are you?" Merle came scurrying down the path on all fours. The cat girl was now twenty-three but still a wisp of thing in the height of her youth. Catching up to Van, Merle flung herself into his arms. Van caught Merle easily and gave her a tight squeeze. Knowing that his solitude had come to a crashing end, Van let her grab his arm and pull him back towards the castle.

Hours later and alone in his study, Van breathed deeply. He was exhausted by the politics of it all, and a week of celebration still remained. While he enjoyed seeing Millerna, Dryden, and Chid, he was itching for the week to be over. Staring out the window, he looked up at the Mystic Moon and thought about Hitomi. It was impossible not to think about her during these celebrations. He often wondered what kind of woman she had grown into. He also wondered what she would think about him and Fanelia now. When she had been on Gaea the first time, she had barely seen his country at peace before the attack from Zaibach. He hoped that she would be as proud of Fanelia as he was. His hand instinctively reached for the small red pendant around his neck. His musings were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"It's open." He called, not rousing from his position at the window. The door creaked open, and Allen Schezar entered. Allen was in his early thirties with long blonde hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. Looking at Van by the window, Allen surmised that he had interrupted some sacred meditation judging by the peevish look that briefly flickered across Van's face. Although the men had come to terms with each other in the years since Hitomi left, old rivalries still reared their heads occasionally. After the war, Allen left Asturia to help Van in Fanelia. Despite his status as a War Hero, King Aston had never really gotten over Allen's disobedience. Van had welcomed Allen, Celena, and the men of the Crusade in Fanelia, much to everyone's relief. Now, Allen helped lead Fanelia's military as one of Fanelia's four Brigadier Samurai, filling a hole left by Balgus.

"I think about her around this time of year." Allen broached cautiously. There was an unwritten rule amongst Van's friends that Hitomi was somewhat of a taboo topic. Van visibly flinched before relaxing his shoulders. Van smiled slightly before responding with a barely audible "Me too."

"Have you thought about going to the Mystic Moon to see her? You've gone once before…" Allen asked tentatively. This conversation would go one of two ways, and Allen wasn't sure which way he was prepared to handle. A heart-to-heart about their shared grief would be unexpected but not unwelcome, but Allen honestly expected Van to either lash out or walk out.

Van sighed; he was trying to avoid this line of questioning. Of course, he had tried to go see her in that first year, but it never worked."No, what would be the point in disrupting her life? She is where she belongs. I don't want her here anyway." Allen grimaced slightly at Van's harshness but wisely kept his skepticism about the truth in Van's statements to himself. He knew Van's moods well enough to know not to push any further.

Van pushed himself away from the window and headed for the door. He was in no mood to listen to Allen or his attempts to 'bond.' There was nothing else Van wanted to say on the topic of Hitomi. Their relationship was over; she was on the Mystic Moon, where she belonged, and he was in Fanelia, where he belonged. Everyone had moved on and were where they were supposed to be. It was unbecoming of a King to be mooning about over a woman he had not seen since he was fifteen. He had turned Fanelia into a Gaean superpower, rivalling the influence of larger countries like Asturia. He had repaired his kingdom brick by brick. He was strong and secure with the realities of his life, and he had no business falling apart over some girl. As he brushed past Allen, an electric pulse filled the room. He knew this feeling; suddenly, his stomach dropped, and he tried to back away from the impending light. The light hit the room like a bolt, and they were gone before he or Allen could say another word.