Okay I'm back. I planned to write another story, but this one kept bouncing around in my mind.
I know there are others like this around here, but there's always room for originality in the same themes, isn't there?
AAAAAA
People plan and God laughs. It's a phrase her mother used to say, she doesn't even know if her mother believes in God, she herself doesn't know if she does, but the phrase makes sense to her now.
It's been sixteen years with Derek Christopher Shepherd, four years of dating, one year of engagement, eleven (almost twelve) years of marriage and she becomes pregnant the week before the end of the marriage. God must be laughing a lot at her lately.
Observing her body in the mirror of the hotel room she now calls home, Addison feels depressed. She's seven weeks old now, she still doesn't have a bump but she knows there will be soon, she knows that this secret she carries will cease to be a secret and that certainty terrifies her.
She found out about the baby three weeks after finding the panties in her husband's tuxedo, at exactly five weeks pregnant, now two weeks later she still hasn't said a word to him.
It would be a mistake to say before the papers were signed and she knew, one word and he would go back to wanting to be the good guy, give up on the divorce and give the baby a close family, she didn't want to go back to being a liability. Much less that her son felt na obligation.
But now he wouldn't talk to her. He would never speak to her again after her confession, after learning that he wasted precious months with Meredith just trying to fix the marriage. As if she had forced him to take her back.
But the fact is, he wouldn't talk to her anymore, he hated her again and didn't want to see her anymore. How would she tell him about a baby?
Maybe she could wait a little longer.
Maybe she could hide it for a few more months and then her son's likely dark, untamed curls would do it for her. The thought makes her smile, she always imagined her son with Derek having the Shepherds' hair, those thick, soft curls she loved, that she still loves, as well as the man who owns them.
Admitting that even in thought makes her utter a curse that Bizzy would disapprove of. She straightens her blouse, moves away from the mirror and lies down on the bed, ordering a generous dinner from room service. When she ends the call, Addison settles back against the headboard, patting her stomach with a goofy smile, feeling good for the first time all day.
AAAAA
Addison is walking into the hotel lobby late after na emergency C-section when she hears her name called, recognizing the voice instantly. Addison turns and smiles at a quickly approaching Nancy, before she can ask, the older woman states:
"It's impossible to spend two nights in a row in that Derek can!"
She tries going six months and leaving with someone else's underwear in her hand.
She doesn't say, just arches her eyebrows. Nancy laughs and says:
"You should report him to a court for human rights violations, I can testify!"
The idea is not so bad.
Addison laughs and then Nancy squeezes her arm asking:
"Have dinner with me?"
She immediately accepts. The hunger for food and real company propelling her.
The ex-sisters-in-law sit across from each other, make their requests and then Nancy says:
"Derek told me about your two months with Mark."
Addison's stomach sinks and she feels nausea rising. Before she can respond, Nancy presses her hand across the table and states:
"I'm not judging you, Addie. I promise."
"Thanks."
Addison speaks with her voice cracking a little and tears filling her eyes. Nancy continues to squeeze her hand and assures her:
"You made a mistake, but you're still our sister. I say that for everyone."
The redhead really needs to try not to cry right now. Nancy notices and decides to lighten the mood, knowing how Addison feels about crying in public.
"Are you staying with him?"
"No."
"Derek seems to really like the slutty intern."
Addison nods, lowering her eyes. A few months ago she would have defended Meredith, but after prom, there's not much point in that.
Silence settles down for a few moments and this starts to make Addison anxious, soon the waiter arrives bringing the drinks ordered by them; Nancy's white wine and Addison's iced tea. Smirking into the redhead's drink, Nancy jokes:
"Abstaining alcohol so you don't make bad decisions? I hear Mark lives here too."
Addison doesn't respond, just sips her drink. Nancy blushes a little and starts apologizing:
"It was just a joke, I didn't..."
"I'm Pregnant!"
The phrase comes out without warning, cutting off Nancy's words and their oxygen.
Addison hadn't expected to say something like that, she hadn't expected to confess anything tonight, least of all to Derek's sister, but she couldn't help herself. Hormones, loneliness and the simple need to share something so special with someone make her explode.
After a few seconds of puzzled blinking, Nancy asks in a whisper:
"It's from...?
"Derek. Your brother managed to get me pregnant while torturing me in the sardine can that deserved a denunciation in The Hague."
Her tone is humorous, but the unshed tears are in her eyes again. Nancy just gets up, she stops in front of Addison and pulls her into na awkward hug, one standing, one sitting, but it's comforting. Addison doesn't remember the last time she received a comforting hug. They sit there in good silence for a few moments, but then Nancy pulls away, she sits back down and asks:
"Do you intend to tell him?"
"Clear."
"When?"
"I don't know..."
"Addie..."
"I know I need to tell, but I'm not ready."
"Addison, we are obstetricians, we've seen more than one case like this...hiding paternity only brings more problems. You had a case like that today."
"I know. I just...he hates me, Nancy."
"He's angry. He doesn't hate you, but if you hide it from him, if you deprive him of it... Then he will hate you."
Addison doesn't respond, she knows the other woman is right, they both know Derek well enough.
Luckily dinner arrives and they are able to take a break from the difficult conversation, to eat and talk about lighter things, but dinner ends with Addison agreeing to speak with Derek the next day.
AAAAA
And the next morning she's really there, standing by the front door of the hospital holding two glasses of Juju and waiting for her ex-husband.
When he finally arrives, she approaches and her smile dies with his hard expression, even so she asks:
"I need to talk to you, Derek."
"Unless it's about a patient, I have nothing to talk to you Dr. Montgomery."
It hurt like a slap to hear him say her last name and she was forced to take a deep breath, her entire body begging her to get out of there. She remains firm however, swallows me dry and asks again:
"I'm begging you here, Derek."
The tone takes him by surprise and he nods in disgust, she offers Juju as a peace offering and he accepts leading her to a conference room.
They enter the room, Derek closes the door and sits down, sipping his hot chocolate. Addison doesn't sit down, she takes a big gulp of her drink, lets out a heavy breath and starts pacing the room. Derek pinches the bridge of his nose and asks her in his usual tone:
"Can you please speak at once? I just dropped Nancy off at the airport, because apparently she might show up unannounced but needs help getting away. My patience is already limited here."
She stops talking, after moving, but then approaches him, stopping right in front of her and locks his eyes on hers:
"I'm pregnant, Derek."
He feels as if the elevator has missed a floor and his throat is completely dry.
There are a range of variables here. Asking if the baby is his seems rude, but given the fact that Mark now lives in Seattle, it's a plausible question. At the same time he doesn't want the answer, hearing it's yours will definitely complicate his life, but hearing it's Mark's will leave him with na even greater sense of betrayal.
As if reading her ex-husband's thoughts, Addison speaks ironically:
"If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be in this room, Derek."
He swallows hard, but at that moment something pops into her mind making him ask:
"Since when do you know?"
She avoids the question, starting to ramble:
"You don't have to get involved, you can if you want to, but you don't have to. I'm not demanding anything here, I just... You needed to know."
"Since when do you know, Addison?"
He repeats the question, but his tone is now hard. She stares at him in surprise, but she knows there's no point in lying and honestly? She doesn't want to do this.
"Two weeks ago now."
"And you waited for the divorce to be signed."
It's not a question, he knows her, yet she nods. Derek asks:
"Why didn't you speak up sooner? We could have..."
"Patched things right Derek? Tried again? Because I know damn well how it turned out last time."
"Addison, I'm just saying you should have told me when you found out."
"Sure, so you can be the good guy again and I come out of it once again pregnant and holding dirty panties."
With that said, she turns her back on him and hurries out of the room, the click of her heels echoing on the linoleum floor, as if expressing her anger.
A shocked Derek falls back, he runs a hand through his hair and takes another sip of the hot chocolate, although the whiskey was far more effective at the moment.
AAAAA
I reinforce that I do not own Grays.
Once again, I apologize for any language errors.
I await the comments. ;)