"You don't need a sad soul to feel the beauty of a dead grave

Just stay with the pale moon when darkness wants the night to be brave."

― Munia Khan

She hadn't meant to tell Luna about Finn.

Really, she hadn't. But their relationship was beginning to feel a little one-sided. Luna had opened herself up to Raven, told her things that she was still a little in awe of - in awe of the fact that Luna would even consider her deserving of such knowledge - and it had left her somewhat rattled.

Lost.

She'd wanted to give something back.

An unusual urge. Not one she often felt.

Raven was far more comfortable with keeping her pain locked inside, hidden from view - unable to be touched by others. Judged.

She had a lot of pain, but little of it that she was comfortable sharing.

The wound left over from Finn's death still hurt like hell but it had managed to scar over a little in the time since. Raven could display it without fear that she was going to reopen that scab, tear the stitches and bleed out.

She could talk about him. Sometimes she even liked to.

But it always hurt.

She suspected it would hurt even more with Luna, who - as Raven had become increasingly aware of - saw far too fucking much.

Still, she needed to give Luna something. Something that would tip the scales back into balance and make this friendship or whatever they had going on just a tiny bit more even.

(she'd always hated being in debt. Receiving more than she could give. And she resented Luna, just a little, for constantly giving her so much)

And. . . and a part of Raven did want to tell her. Wanted to say the words. A part that had sprung up by the river, listening to Luna pull back the curtain into the dark room of her past. The trust in that one simple gesture.

In that moment, she didn't want to just listen to Luna. She wanted to share with her.

Crazy, inexplicable - but she did.

So, Raven started talking. And talking.

Not about Finn. Not at first.

She approached the subject from the side, creeping towards it like one of those freaky-looking crabs she'd noticed down at the beach - as though, if Raven couldn't fully see where she was headed, she wouldn't dodge to avoid it.

A stellar plan, really.

She started with the day Arkadia had been surrounded by Grounders, the day she would never be able to forget. The ultimatum that had been given to them. What they - what Raven - had to sacrifice in order to broker peace.

(she left out the part where she'd tried to offer Murphy up in Finn's stead.

Not one of her proudest moments.

Mostly because Raven still wasn't sure she'd do any differently, if given the chance.

It was Finn.)

Thankfully, Luna had already heard some of the story from Lincoln, apparently. So there wasn't much that needed to be said.

Thank God.

She'd never actually had to tell the story of Finn's death. Everyone in her life had either been there or else heard the tale by word of mouth.

Everyone knew.

Everyone knew what he'd done, what had been done to him.

Everyone knew what he'd meant to Raven.

Everyone knew.

Everyone except Luna.

When Raven got to the part where she was left staring in open-mouthed horror at the boneless silhouette of the boy who had once meant everything to her, she had to stop. Take a breath.

Luna waited patiently, even looking away to give her a moment to collect herself.

"And he was just. . . gone. Just like that," Raven finished at last, the statement feeling superfluous on her tongue. Useless. It did nothing to fully capture the totality of the devastation that moment had wreaked upon her life.

Her best friend. Her family. The only boy she'd ever loved.

Gone. In an instant.

She'd thought he was coming back. She'd watched him walk away, placed a knife in Clarke's hand and thought he was coming back.

But the knife she'd intended to save him had ended up being the very thing to kill him.

She'd killed him.

(in more ways than just that)

Raven swallowed, looking down at the dark earth they'd previously been traipsing across, wishing she had more than a bunch of shitty dirt to distract herself from the searing agony, digging its way through her chest.

It still hurt like hell.

Still hurt almost as much as it had in the moment. The moment all had been lost.

Time hadn't dulled that pain. Not yet.

Maybe it never would.

Taking a breath, Raven remembered the bracelet on her wrist. Crossed her arms to hide the passage of her hand as it went to encircle that wrist, feel the threads.

"Raven. . ."

She looked up.

Luna's eyes were empathetic and, after a brief hesitation, she reached out and took Raven's hand, sealing it in warmth. "Thankyou for telling me."

There was no pity in her gaze. No useless condolences. Likely, Luna was familiar by now with just how ineffective they ultimately were.

But the protective wrapping of her hand around Raven's accomplished more than either of those things ever could. For once, there was no electricity, no urge to pull away, to run.

There was only comfort.

Raven breathed a little easier. "Sure thing."

At least it was over and done with now. She'd put her hurt on display, returned the favor. Raven hoped it was enough because she didn't think she'd ever be able to give more.

Luna gave a small smile, squeezing her hand lightly. . . before slipping away and turning to restart their walk. Raven went along with the action gratefully - it meant she didn't have to look a second longer into Luna's eyes, which were at times too penetrating to be comfortable.

Raven was glad for the reprieve.

Knew that it was intentional on Luna's part. Which, oddly enough, didn't make her feel like she was being coddled. There was nothing inside her but relief.

"This Finn. . . he was your lover," Luna said after several minutes had passed, eyes ahead. It wasn't a question.

Of course she'd pieced that together from what little had been said.

Possibly also from what Murphy might have let slip.

Fucking Murphy.

"Yeah," Raven breathed, though the term felt unsatisfying. Finn had been so much more than just a lover. So much more. "For a while. But then he got dropped onto the ground and fell in love with Clarke."

She tried to keep the bitterness from her voice. Failed.

Luna turned to her, eyes knowing. "But you still loved him."

Again, not a question.

Raven exhaled, shaking out her limbs. "Yeah. I mean, it hurt. A lot. But he was . . ."

Luna smiled. "Your person."

"Yeah," she breathed. Such a simple title for a relationship that was so complex, so integral to her being.

But it fit.

Boyfriend. Friend. Even family. They weren't enough. Had never been enough.

Luna hummed thoughtfully. "I had someone like that, too."

"Who cheated on you?"

Her mouth quirked. "No. I lost them to a far more demanding mistress." At Raven's raised brow, "Duty. It's everything to my people - and love can't compete with it." She lifted a shoulder. "But that doesn't mean the love isn't there. Our lives just weren't compatible. She didn't agree with the way I lived mine and I didn't agree with the way she lived hers."

She.

Raven's heart sped up - and she wished she could give it a reprimanding smack.

Okay, so, Luna's into women. Totally irrelevant detail that you will not be focusing on. At all.

But God this was so much easier when Raven could at least entertain the belief that she was straight.

So what if Luna was into women? Not like it mattered. Not like it changed anything. At the end of the day, it didn't matter who Luna was attracted to - because nothing was ever going to happen between them.

Raven didn't want anything to happen.

No matter what her hormones argued to the contrary.

"Yeah, well," she grumbled, eternally grateful that, despite Luna's irritating powers of perception, she was not in fact a mind-reader, "the love wasn't there in my case. At least, not the kind of love that I wanted."

It still hurt.

It shouldn't but it did.

Luna touched her hand briefly. Too briefly. "I'm sorry. You deserve to be loved with every inch of someone's heart."

Raven raised an eyebrow to deflect from how uncomfortable that made her, not sure if it was the sentiment itself or how genuine Luna appeared when giving it. "I thought I didn't even deserve to be saved, let alone loved?"

Luna shrugged and started walking again. "Well, you've grown on me."

"Oh, really?" Raven moved to keep up, relieved at the change in topic.

"Mmm. Like an extremely stubborn and persistent fungus."

She snorted. "Wow. You're really doing wonders for my self-esteem here."

Luna's mouth curved a little. "Fungi aren't so bad. They know how to adapt and survive extremely harsh conditions. They might even outlast Praimfaya."

"Coming from someone who's not all that fond of survival, that still doesn't sound like much of a compliment."

A grin darted across Luna's face before she gave a careless shrug. "They possess other merits. And I do have a weak spot for stubbornness."

Raven huffed. "And what would these 'other merits' be?"

"Well. . ." Luna looked down, considering the question. "Nyko told me once that certain types help other plants to grow. They eat the dead things of the world and transfer their nutrients to the plants. But he used them to cauterize wounds and stem bleeding. To heal." She smiled slightly. "It was his favorite plant."

"Technically not a plant," Raven muttered. At Luna's confused glance, "It's more closely related to animals."

"A very unattractive animal then."

Raven paused, narrowing her eyes. "Since I'm the fungus in this scenario, is this your roundabout way of saying I'm unattractive?"

She shook her head with mock gravity. "Oh no, I don't think anyone could ever say that."

Raven eyed her with suspicion but couldn't deny that her lips were fighting against the pull of a smile. "Well, okay then. As long as that's clear."

"Very clear."

Don't fucking blush.

Unbidden her eyes found their way to Luna's mouth, tracing the all too tempting curve of it. Lingering.

"I mean, it's been used to make medicine, so that's kind of cool, I guess," Raven said half-heartedly, turning away in case she gave in to temptation and did something stupid. Extremely stupid. Possibly the stupidest thing she had ever done.

Curse Luna and her stupid fucking lips.

Back to the topic at hand, back to the topic at hand. . .

Fungi had actually been used to make a lot of medicines, from penicillin and vaccines to even shit for cancer. They'd used it on the Ark for that very purpose.

"Also this." Luna grabbed her hand without warning, placing it on her chest.

Raven stiffened.

A beat passed.

"Luna?"

"Mm?"

"Is there a reason my hand is on your boob?"

Luna bit her lip, eyes glowing, and moved her hand a little more to the center, back into modest territory. That still didn't do all that much for the heat suddenly overwhelming Raven's body. A part of her was glad that Luna had lost some of that far-too-considerate hesitancy when it came to touch - the rest of her wished like hell she hadn't.

(it was possible Luna had gotten a little too high off their newfound freedom, if how reckless she'd become with physical contact was any indication)

"It's a fungus."

"Your boob is a fungus?"

Luna ducked her head, cheeks rising with the force of her grin. "No. My jacket." She moved Raven's hand up to her shoulder and then slowly down her arm, demonstrating the blue-dyed shrug that made up the top half of her outfit.

Raven stopped. "This is a fungus?"

"Mm-hmm, we grew it on the rig. Used it to make things, mostly clothes but other necessities as well. It only lasts about a decade, though, then it returns to the earth."

She frowned, feeling the fabric that she had previously thought was leather. If she focused on the jacket, she could forget just where her hand was. Where it had just been. "It's so soft."

Luna nodded. "And durable. Also, water-proof and fire-resistant. It can be soft or hard, depending on how its grown - the process of which is less than a month. There's some here on the island, as well. I saw it the other day on our walk to the lake." She glanced down, raising one foot for Raven's inspection. "My shoes are made out of it too. A different batch."

Well, that would have been a much less risque part of her attire for Raven to put her hands on.

Sometimes it really did seem like Luna was trying to kill her.

"Huh. Neat." They could have used some of this in space. Would have fit right in with the algae farm.

"And, of course, let's not forget the most important thing of all," Luna continued, pulling to a stop. She faced Raven, eyes grave. "With no fungi, we wouldn't have wine."

"And I'm sold," Raven said immediately, causing Luna's mouth to twitch. "You can call me a fungus anytime. I am now a proud bearer of that moniker. Might get it made into a t-shirt."

Granted, Raven had only ever had actual wine once in her life. And the experience had been somewhat dampened by her best friend's 'funeral' and, you know. . . getting tortured. Still, it had tasted so much better than the shit they drank up on the Ark, or the stuff her people had been concocting since hitting the ground.

"Well, as long as that's settled." Luna's mouth thinned as she suppressed a smile and they turned to begin walking again.

Wine, huh?

She tried - and failed - to picture Luna drunk, or even tipsy. It was difficult. Raven couldn't imagine her without her trademark control. The closest she'd come was when she was sick and that wasn't exactly what Raven had in mind.

Hmm, Becca's mansion has a wine cellar. . .

She wondered if Luna was immune to the powers of peer pressure or if she was a mere mortal like the rest of them. Because that could be a fun night.

Raven smirked.

"What?"

"I'm gonna get you drunk one day." Very, very drunk. At Luna's look, "What? Life goals and all that. Everybody's got to have dreams."

"And your dream is to get me drunk?"

"Now it is."

Luna rolled her eyes - and Raven's smirk expanded.

"Well, I think that's one dream you'll never get to achieve."

"Oh, come on, Luna," Raven nudged her in the side with her elbow. "Live a little."

She shook her head, though the slight curve of her mouth betrayed her. Raven tried to see the rest of her expression, to catch her eye, but she was turned away.

Damn.

She loved Luna's smile. Couldn't help but feel somewhat cheated to be denied the full extent of it now.

Raven frowned, deciding to take her disappointment out on the weird little organism Luna apparently appreciated so much. "You know, some fungi are also poisonous."

"Only some." Luna shrugged. "And only in certain conditions."

"Oh, so, practically bunnies then."

The side of Luna's mouth curled again, the expression faint but doing nothing to hide her amusement. "Well. . . bunnies bite when cornered." She turned back to Raven then, smile fading into something softer. "In answer to your earlier question, though. . . I think everyone deserves to be loved. I may not always believe in the virtue of our survival, but I'll always believe that. And I believe you deserve to be loved, Raven. Loved wholly and absolutely. Just because others have failed to do that properly in the past, doesn't make you any less deserving."

And she'd brought the conversation back to dangerous ground, ground that left Raven exposed far more than was comfortable. It was something Luna seemed to have a knack for, much to her frustration.

She huffed, turning away, searching for a viable distraction, anything to deflect from the honesty that flowed from Luna's words, the way it matched the truth burning in her eyes.

Raven wondered if she said shit like this to all the girls.

Or whether she was special.

Nope. No-go zone. Nothing good ever came from thinking she was special to anyone.

"You know, Finn was like my family," Raven started, eyes still directed anywhere that wasn't the woman beside her. "Sort of the only family I ever had worth keeping." Her gaze flicked to Luna at last. Raven hesitated, but the need to deflect from the swirling emotions inside her won out. She needed Luna's attention off her. And needed it now. "I can't imagine ever being able to kill him. Being trained to do so."

Finn hadn't been her brother but he had been her world.

Luna had killed hers.

Raven expected her to shy away from the question, to change the path of conversation altogether, onto a ground safe enough for both of them to walk.

She didn't.

"It's not something easily imaginable." Luna shrugged, turning her gaze back to the treeline ahead of them. Raven wondered if she really felt as unbothered by the subject as she appeared. Wished there was a way to tell. "Even up until that moment I drove the knife in, I didn't really believe I could do it. At the back of my mind, I still thought it was just another sparring session. I knew it wasn't, I knew but - still. A part of me didn't. A part of me couldn't bear to. . . After it was over, I half expected him to open his eyes and get up, laugh at my expense - like it had all been a joke. He was like that. A trickster. We both were." She smiled a little. A fleeting, fragile thing. Gone too soon. "But he didn't get up. And. . ." She took a breath. "I realized we weren't children anymore. That we never would be again."

Raven swallowed, tried to imagine herself doing something similar.

Couldn't.

There was nothing in the world that could have made her kill Finn.

Or, if there was, she was glad that she'd never been forced to discover it.

Raven shook her head in disgust. "It seems both our people like to make murderers of children. I think yours are just more upfront about it. Mine still like to pretend that we're 'better than that'." She rolled her eyes, feeling vaguely sick. "I don't even know what better is anymore. We were always doing fucked up shit, even before we hit the ground."

Luna nodded to herself. "Humanity is brutal in that way. We only end up destroying everything that's good."

That hadn't exactly been what she was going for.

Raven frowned, stopping still. Luna drew to a halt as well, brow furrowed slightly in question as she turned to her.

"You really believe that?"

"I didn't," she said after a pause, then lifted a shoulder. "Now I'm not so sure. It seems the only truth that makes sense anymore."

Raven's frown increased. Now it was her turn to reach out and take Luna's hand, albeit in a far more clumsy fashion. "Well, I've never been one to argue that humanity doesn't suck but. . . I don't know." She shrugged helplessly. "I'd like to think that we're capable of more than that. Wouldn't you?"

Luna looked away, staring off into the distance.

"Luna?"

There was a long stretch of silence, her attention utterly lost to Raven. She considered calling to her again but satisfied herself with rubbing her thumb over the outside of Luna's hand instead, hoping the action was at least vaguely comforting.

"I think. . ." Luna began, the words coming from her slowly, like she had as little knowledge of her own beliefs as Raven. "That I am tired of being disappointed by people. And myself."

Raven could relate to that, especially the first part. "Yeah. People suck."

Luna looked back at her, a small smile venturing out. "You're alright. I like you."

And what the fuck? Why did that make her insides start doing the hokey pokey?

Of course Luna liked her. Raven was awesome. "Gee, thanks. That's really the highest compliment I've ever been given."

Sarcasm to the rescue. Oh, what a sweet and faithful hero you are.

Luna's smile grew, seeming almost surprised, even showing a hint of teeth.

It was the most beautiful thing Raven had ever seen.

She hesitated, not wanting to break it. "Do you regret it?"

The smile faded into confusion. Damn. "Regret what?"

Raven shrugged. "Staying."

Especially now that their chances of using her blood to save humanity had dwindled down to almost zero. Luna didn't have to be here. In a way, it was an unforgivable waste of her precious time. She could be out in the world, anywhere she wanted to be, enjoying what parts of it she could before it all crumbled to dust.

She could live out her days on a beach - or even back on the oil rig - instead of closeted inside an unwelcome mansion and sterile lab. Luna could spend her every moment enjoying the last days of nature, instead of only partaking in it at brief, random intervals on these walks with her. Luna didn't like being here, she'd admitted as much.

And she didn't have to be.

So much of Raven felt bad for convincing her to stay - especially considering the hell they were currently putting her body through - but she also couldn't bring herself to regret it. Not really. The thought of not having these moments with Luna was almost too much to bear.

She'd grown dependent on them - to an uncomfortable degree. Selfishly, undeniably.

Maybe Raven should do something about that. But her days were numbered - nightblood cure or no nightblood cure - so she considered it as good a time as any to say 'fuck off' to all her remaining self-preservation instincts.

(Well, almost all of them.

She still wasn't prepared to throw her heart off a goddamn cliff. But she might dangle it over the edge a little. Let it see the sights.)

She just had to keep reminding herself that Luna was safe. She was safe to care for.

(and it was too late now if she wasn't.

Because she did care for Luna.

She cared for her a lot.

Too much.

But that was a problem she wouldn't live long enough to face the consequences of.

Thank God)

Luna stared at her a long time, something undecipherable flickering across her face. "Not yet." Her lips quirked slightly. "I mean, I wouldn't want to have missed these little walks."

Her hand squeezed Raven's and she hated the way it made her feel weightless.

She swallowed, looking away. "Listen. . . I'm sorry for bringing up your brother like that."

It had been a shitty move, mostly because she'd only done it to take Luna's attention off her. Raven had known the subject was vulnerable and painful enough to totally absorb her focus and in a split second of panic, had pounced on that.

"I was. . . uncomfortable and wanted to distract you," she admitted with great reluctance, regretting each word as she forced them out of her mouth.

"I know," Luna said simply.

"You. . . know?"

"Yes." Luna's eyes twinkled and Raven had the distinct feeling that she was laughing at her. "You're not exactly subtle." Raven gaped. "But there's no need to apologize. I don't mind. I had to come to peace with all that a long time ago. It doesn't hurt to talk about anymore. It hasn't for many years. And in a way it's nice."

Raven's nose scrunched up. "Nice?"

"Mm." She nodded, seeming at ease as her eyes walked the path before them. "It's not something I usually talk about. Not many want to know the details of how I slaughtered my twin brother in cold blood when we were barely more than children. It tends to make for awkward conversation, funnily enough."

Raven snorted. "I'll bet."

Luna turned, regarding her a moment as they continued to walk. "You know, you're the first person who's ever asked me his name."

Her brow furrowed. "Really?"

"Mm." She returned her gaze to her feet, observing their steps. "The only people who possessed that knowledge were already aware, or else I told them. But no-one's ever actually asked before." Her mouth curved slightly. "You seem to have a gift for surprising me."

"Yeah," Raven snorted. "It's called curiosity."

"Ah." Luna nodded, smiling a little to herself. "Well, thankyou for asking anyway." Some of the levity left her voice. "The things I've told you about him. . . You're the only person left who knows them."

Raven wondered what it would be like if she was the only one in the world who knew Finn's name, knew what he had been like, knew of his existence even. Most other people didn't know Finn, not really. Not in the way Raven did. But at least they knew of him. Knew how important he had been to her.

Some of them had even loved him.

It was a cold comfort but a comfort nonetheless.

Not having that. . . sounded lonely.

Luna sighed, moving some hair from her face. "I mean, Roan knows some of it but. . ."

"He's Roan."

Luna smiled a little ruefully. "He's Roan. And I don't have any plans to talk to him about my brother. Ever."

Raven couldn't blame her.

"You mean you're not gonna sit around a campfire braiding each other's hair whilst reminiscing about the good old days? Color me shocked."

Luna grimaced a little, though there was an amused glint to her eyes. "Campfires and Roan don't have the best history, so I think it would definitely be best to avoid that. As for the good old days. . . I'm not so sure we had those."

Raven's mind caught on the choice of words though. "But you did have days?"

She was silent for a time, mouth twisting as she pondered the question. "He was the prince of Azgeda and I was in line to become Commander."

She said nothing further. Apparently deeming that answer enough.

Raven cleared her throat, ducking her head somewhat awkwardly. "Well, you can talk about Sol anytime. To me, at least."

Luna paused a moment, lips forming a small but genuine smile, unblemished by amusement. "Thankyou." She hesitated. "If you ever want to talk about Finn again, I'm happy to listen. I can tell he meant a lot to you. And that his death weighs on you heavily."

Raven looked away. "Yeah, maybe more than it should. He broke my heart." She snorted, ducking her head. "Fucked up well beyond that, actually. But I still love him."

She always would.

Luna's eyes were sympathetic before she looked away, focusing on the tree behind Raven. Her mouth ticked up a moment later and she reached out, plucking a small red flower off the branch. It was just starting to bloom, tentative petals expanding under the light of the moon.

Raven watched her movements with some minor confusion. Maybe Luna just had a thing for flowers to go with her thing for oceans? And she could admit that it was a fairly pretty flower, as far as flowers went. Not that she was an expert.

Luna turned back to her, gaze considering.

"First loves are special," she murmured, reaching out and sliding the flower behind Raven's ear. She stilled, heart jumping. "And hard to let go of."

She swallowed at the lingering touch of Luna's fingers skating across her skin as she drew back.

Their eyes stayed connected, Luna watching her carefully, as Raven stood paralyzed, unable to break the stare. To look away.

Look away!

"You can't dictate feelings," Luna continued when she still hadn't spoken. "You loved him. He was important to you. In some. . . undefinable way. You don't need to justify that. You shouldn't. Certainly not to me. But not to anyone else, either." She leant a little closer, voice turning firm. "Never apologize for your heart. If the only problem in the world was that everyone loved too much, then I think those hearts would be a lot happier."

She grunted. "You might be right."

The corner of Luna's mouth drew up as she stepped back. "I am. I tend to be so a lot of the time."

Raven's mouth twitched. "Okay then, Miss Modest."

Luna's smile grew as they started walking again. "I've never claimed to be modest. I'm too aware of my own abilities to be mistaken for that." Her head tilted to the side. "And I may have a bit of an ego."

Raven raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "A bit?"

She shrugged. "I'll admit, it used to get in my way a lot more than it does now. Nightbloods are not raised to think lowly of themselves."

"Is that a requirement?"

"Most definitely." She went over to another tree, scanning its branches for the most bloomed flowers and plucking them free. "Confidence is a necessity if you wish to lead. If you don't have confidence in yourself, then how can you expect your people to?"

Luna started loading her haul into the basket she'd brought with her.

Raven frowned. "Planning on making a flower arrangement?"

She shook her head. "I thought they might add some life to the lab. I don't usually pick flowers for decorative purposes." Her mouth turned down. "I hate watching them die. But with Praimfaya approaching, they'll be dead soon anyway. At least this way they might get some appreciation in life."

Raven shook her head with a smile. "You're really weird."

Luna raised an eyebrow, regarding her. "Because I like beautiful things?"

"Because you're worried about beauty when the world is about to die. Not exactly high on the list of priorities."

It wasn't even existent on Raven's.

Luna sighed and walked back over, holding out a remaining flower to her.

It was larger than the one now itching persistently at the skin of Raven's ear, white petals tentatively reaching out and forming the appearance of a half circle, curved in on itself.

She'd never seen anything like it before.

More captivating was the faint glow that exuded from each petal, lighting up Luna's hand as she presented it to her.

Raven hesitated before accepting it somewhat awkwardly.

"My mother's clan called them solunas." Soluna, huh? Sounded more like a slithering sea serpent than a flower. "My brother and I were born under the first bloom of one. It's how we got our names." Luna ran her fingers over the tips of the petals, brushing against Raven's hand for a moment. She held her breath. "When they die, their petals turn gold and they curl into each other, forming a ball."

"Like a sun?"

Luna's mouth lifted slightly. "Like a sun."

Wait, if she was born under the first bloom of one, and this looked pretty fucking bloomed right now, did that mean her birthday was coming up? Or had it already passed?

Did these things bloom at the exact same time every year? Or was there a bit of leeway?

Did Grounders even celebrate birthdays?

Shit, what did you get someone for a present at the end of the world?

She opened her mouth-

"Trikru and Azgeda call them Meizen Wamplei, though. Beautiful Death."

Raven's eyebrows drew up as she regarded the fragile organism in her hand. "Beautiful death? Isn't that kind of an oxymoron?"

"I suppose it depends on how you look at it."

Raven didn't see how there was any way to look at death that didn't paint it as ugly. But Grounders were strange, and Luna was stranger than most - though sometimes Raven couldn't help but think that she might be the only normal one out of all of them, Sky People included.

Still. . .

Luna was the last person Raven would expect to see any beauty in death. Not with how much of her existence had been consumed by it.

And not when she valued life more than anyone else Raven had ever met.

Luna shrugged, moving on. "They only bloom for three weeks every year. They were present during my Conclave."

She glanced up in surprise but Luna's gaze was wholly focused on the flower in Raven's hand.

If they only bloomed for less than a month every year. . .

Then that meant the anniversary of Luna's Conclave also had to be coming up. Or had already passed.

Along with the anniversary of her brother's death.

Add to that the fact that her clan had just died and the world was about to go up in flames and. . .

Jesus.

Well, this time of the year was sure going to a barrel of laughs every time it swung around.

They might just have to throw the whole two months away.

Luna continued, oblivious to the cycle of her thoughts. "Lincoln brought me one when I was. . . recovering. He always had an eye for beautiful things." Raven stilled at the mention of Lincoln, just as she did every time Luna brought him up - which wasn't often. It still surprised Raven that he'd been a part of her life then, that their friendship was that old.

She wondered if Luna was aware of how he'd died.

A part of her hoped not.

His death had been no less horrific than Finn's.

She'd only heard accounts from others, hadn't actually been there herself but what she'd heard. . .

No wonder Octavia was so fucked up.

"When I had nothing, when I was nothing," Luna took a breath, her finger tracing a fragile petal, following the line of a blue spiral. "I still had beauty. It's everywhere. For all the horrors the world is capable of, it's also birthed some of the most breathtaking things ever to exist. There's a value in beauty, if only because it creates a respite from those horrors. And we need that respite."

Alright, Yoda. Still felt kind of useless.

Raven stared at the organism in her hand somewhat awkwardly, wishing she could see it the way Luna did. When she'd first come to earth, she might have been able to. Everything had seemed so wondrous to her then but in the days and weeks and months that followed, they'd lost their shine. "It's a flower."

"It's also poisonous."

Raven yelped and dropped the offending carnation, swiping her hands off on her pants. Shit, wait. Now she was just spreading the poison to her pants. Why the fuck had Luna given her a poison flower?

Maybe she really was trying to kill her.

A low laugh met her ears and when Raven glanced up, she was confronted with Luna's back as she walked away. "But only if you ingest it," she called over her shoulder.

Raven grumbled, hesitating a moment before retrieving the wretched flower and stumbling after her. "Fucking Grounders."

Murphy would not be hearing about this.

"When I met you, flowers started growing in the darkest parts of my mind."

— Unkown