He'd never experienced the event of a nuclear blast, not in the same area as one firsthand, and not in the many long years of his life.
But this was the first time it ever happened, and after years of seeing footage of nuclear explosions, and hearing stories of what had happened in Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. In the seconds before the blast hit, he was watching Mario, SMG4, and SMG3 trying to escape the junkyard. Now, Bob Bobowski was alone in the junkyard, trying to survive.
The former Garo had been partially singed when the first scorching shockwave struck, melting the trash mountain he'd been on. It was just so crazy, using a nuclear bomb to obliterate trash was over the top, but a lot of unusual things had happened before in the SMG4 universe.
Bob dove inside a metal bin, knowing that his chances of survival were likely slim. He braced himself, and yelled as the explosion shook the area. He felt the bin go flying, and he screamed to the heavens. The trash bin he'd just dove inside, it had to be made from fire-proof metal. Otherwise, he'd already be toast.
He felt his hiding spot slam into the ground, and pain shot through his body. Bob winced, feeling his bones crack a little, even his nuts quaked from the impact. He was going to be feeling that in the morning.
"Ow, my oval eggs!" The ex-rapper quipped.
The bin clattered across the ground, and tipped over. It rolled, and Bob groaned, trying to remain conscious, even as his head throbbed from the pain.
Bob was tempted to get out, but there was no telling when it would stop, and when the radiation would subside. But worse things had happened to him in the past, and being sent to the Internet Graveyard was one of them.
"Spinning, spinning, spinning..." Bob muttered, he belched, and continued speaking, "You spin me right around like a record player, baby. When will this ride end?"
Thunk!
The bin came to a stop, and Bob slumped back inside of it. He passed out for a time, then he woke up, and passed out again. It would be a while before the ex-Garo was able to move and see clearly. When his mind woke up once more, Bob looked around, and moved his body, making an effort to try and get out of the metal bin.
'We better let the folks know I'm okay, before they assume I didn't live.' Bob thought.
He pushed himself with all of his... elbow grease, and Bob made it out of the trash bin. He felt soft ground under his head, and he looked up, seeing the sky above. The air felt a little humid, but Bob knew that the aftereffects of the blast had to be present.
Bob climbed out of the can, and slowly rose to his feet. His knees wobbled, and the ex-Garo rubbed his eyes. He slapped on a mask, just in case the air was radioactive. And then, he took a very, very good look around, seeing the trash dump had been completely annihilated. Every single piece of trash had been reduced to atoms.
Well, some of it was reduced to radioactive slag.
The hooded hobo spotted a pair of men in radiation suits patrolling the ruins of the landfill, holding Geiger counters, while armed guards surveyed the area. He could see Swagmaster and Chris sporting radiation masks, and a couple of armed tanks roamed the vicinity.
"Can you believe we had to nuke 'em?" Swag remarked to Chris.
"Swag, it was for the greater good, no matter how harsh it was." Chris told Swag.
"You don't use nukes against trash, it's easier to dump it into a furnace."
"Are you really going to complain against the usage of nuclear warfare like a Terry, Swag? We couldn't find anything else to use, so we had to use a nuclear bomb. You should be lucky it was a bomb akin to the one that was detonated in White Sands, unless you wish it was a Hydrogen Bomb like the one that went off at Bikini Atoll in 1954."
"Heh-heh, Bikini Atoll. All of those poor women in bikinis got vaporized by an H-Bomb on a tropical island, and nobody mourned for them. They don't call it that for nothing, and I pity any poor souls who didn't make it out of the landfill when the bomb went off."
Chris got annoyed, "Swag, there is no indication anyone was here when the bomb exploded. If someone was here, then they're already toast."
At this point, Bob was heading their way. He limped towards the guards, and managed to catch even a chunk of the conversation, while his legs continued to wobble. Bob breathed slowly, making certain that he did not breathe radioactivity into his lungs. And then, he called out in his loudest voice possible...
"I'M STILL ALIVE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
Swag and Chris raised their guns, taken by surprise when they saw Bob approaching them. The other guards ceased their current activities, all shocked to find out there was someone close by, and that Bob had been here when the bomb exploded.
"What is this? Is a radiation-induced hallucination even possible?!" Swag questioned, "Hey, Chris. I think we're dreaming."
"No, that's Bob, and I don't know how he survived." Chris said with annoyance, then he glared at the ex-Garo and steadied his leveled gun at his face again, "This is an off-limits area, and we demand to know what is going on here?"
Bob laughed out loud. "You can't keep the grooviest man alive down forever." He said, "And I have oval eggs of titanium, even though I may be a bit beat up when I was in that bin as the explosion took the landfill. You guys should be glad to see that I'm still alive. After all, aren't we still bros, Swag?"
"Aw, fuck yeah." Swag waltzed up and pounded Bob on the shoulder, "You got a lot of guts to survive a nuke."
"Could someone get him out of here already?!" Chris snapped.
"I say, you're pretty negative-minded, Comrade Chris." Swag remarked.
"No, 'Comrade' Swag. If you don't remove him from the area, I will unleash another nuke!"
"WE'RE OUTTA HERE, B****ES!" Bob and Swag exclaimed.
The ex-Garo and the dim-witted guard ran for the hills, literally, while yelping, and as Swag dropped his gun. Chris watched, and face-palmed with annoyance, even as the guards continued to patrol the area and survey the radioactive remnants of the trash. It was just another day of duty, and things just never changed. At least they found a survivor, even when they didn't expect it...
The End
SMG3 kicked a tree in frustration. As if business couldn't fall off even more, his fellow meme guardian just had to plug that Mikel Jorden endorsement into the computer. And now, thanks to the snails, his café was closed down. As if a lack of customers just wasn't enough, life had to punch SMG3 in the face again.
Just then, he heard a ping on his phone and pulled it out of his pocket. SMG3 was taken by surprise, seeing a text from Bob that said; "Coming ur wae, boi."
'Daf*q? Wasn't he vaporized by the blast?' SMG3 thought.
Moments later, he was knocked into a tree by an unseen force. And when he looked up, he saw Bob standing over him with the ex-villain's phone. Bob waved to him, "What's up, SMG3? How are you today? Thanks for lending me your phone, by the way, I'm gonna tell the world that I'm alive!"
"WHAT ARE YOU...?"
Bob clicked onto SMG3's Twitch stream account, and found the option to start streaming. With his blade hand, the ex-Garo tapped the 'stream' button, and was recording in seconds even as SMG3 protested in the background. That phone belonged to him, and how could SMG3 let the likes of Bob take it from him?
"What is up, homies and hot babes?!" Bob announced, "It's your boy, Bob, here to announce that he is not dead after some events at a landfill. You thought a nuke could keep me down, looks like you're wrong because I'm back and I'm ready to chill with the b****es!"
"BOB, GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE!" SMG3 yelled, "BOB!"
If anyone hasn't watched TRASH FRIENDS yet, the link to the episode is here: watch?v=Lo6t1jxW9Qc