I spent the weekend at home again
Drawing circles on the floor
Tried to keep myself from hurting
I don't know why anymore
Quinn eyed her brassy red hair. She desperately needed a touch-up but thought she was over the red hair. The red hair seemed only to bring trouble into her life. Quinn brought the curl iron down and admired the progress on her hair. It was her first time using a curling iron, and she thought it came out pretty decent.
She lifted her neck and hoped her concealer didn't crease during the night. The bruising from Cillian wasn't as deep as it had been the first couple of days. It had been the nasty purple-red bruising with the black edges. She was thankful Cillian had his fit on a Friday. She had been a hermit in her house, called off work on Monday and Tuesday, and even stayed home from school.
The bruises were now yellow. It's still tender but easier to hide. It didn't hurt to talk as much. Quinn was beginning to regret even deciding to go to MORP. It wasn't as if there were formal invitations. Anyone could go. It wasn't as if anyone would miss her not being there.
She had decided on a simple outfit. She couldn't find the right dress. Instead, she found a pair of black slacks with a black vest. She dug out a pair of her T-Bar-heeled loafers to accompany it. She was wearing silver jewelry to accentuate the look. It was a simple outfit. She felt more exposed since she only wore a bra underneath the vest, but the look suited her.
She felt pretty for the first time in forever.
She grabbed her phone and wallet, stuffing them in her pockets. She hoped to escape quietly, but luck was never on her side. Both her mom and brother were in the living room watching TV. Her brother had empty beer bottles surrounding him, and her mom had a glass of wine in her hand.
Luck was on her side for a bit as her mom only mentioned her hair needed a touch-up. Cillian, thankfully, said nothing.
She didn't know what to expect going to MORP. The party was on the stream's edge, surrounded by the redwoods. People filled the area, and for the most part, people didn't seem to register her presence.
She found herself a secluded tree stump to sit on. She had never been a fan of beer, and she had been able to find an orange soda buried in a cooler. She didn't think she would stay long with how things were going.
Parties didn't seem to be her thing she observed. She wasn't a fan of the weed and booze. She could see why John always ushered her off the lot before one of the clubhouse parties got too rowdy. But at least she got to experience it at least once.
"Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?"
Quinn's eyes go wide at the friendly female voice. A pretty blonde approaches her with a wide smile. She isn't sure what to say and only shrugs her shoulders.
"You here by yourself?"
Quinn nodded her head. She didn't know how to move her tongue to form a sentence.
"My name is Suzie," her smile seemed illegal. "Why don't you come hang with us?" The pretty blonde pointed to where a group of people were sitting outside of the groping and beer-chugging going on. They seemed to be in their little world.
"My name's Quinn."
"Well, Quinn, are you sitting with us or what?"
Suzie's friends were lovely if she could describe them. They didn't go to Charming High. Instead, they went to Count Aquino. The fancy private Catholic school that Miriam went to. She didn't want to think about Jax's girlfriend. Yet, she imagined Miriam would also be there if they were here.
And she liked that Suzie and her friends weren't trying to pressure her into drinking or smoking. They worked to make her feel included in the conversations about movies and even books. She didn't feel like a bumbling idiot talking about literature.
However, all good things eventually ended as a familiar voice approached her from behind.
"Quinn, is that you?"
Quinn turned to find Miriam approaching. She didn't miss Jax following behind her. She hadn't spoken to Jax since that day in his room. Her last attempt in trying to reach out to him had been after Cillian attacked her, but he ignored the call.
She knew she couldn't blame him for it. It wasn't his fault. He could have been busy. She just realized she couldn't rely on him in that way, considering the circumstances of everything. It wasn't fair to Miriam.
"Hi, Miriam," she greeted as she picked at the soda tab.
Miriam wore a black mini-dress. Her hair styled perfectly in a tight ballerina bun. She looked beautiful as always. "I didn't know this was your scene."
Quinn shrugged. She felt her cheeks heating up with all the attention on her. "It's not, but you only live once."
Miriam gave her a sweet smile, and Quinn's belly filled with lead. She felt as if she was going to suffocate. The bottled redhead stood up abruptly. She couldn't do this. It wasn't fair to Miriam.
"I'm going to get a pop." She mumbled as she walked through the crowd back into the house. She ignored the tug on her arm, which must have been from Jax.
She reached the kitchen to one of the coolers. She resisted the urge to plunge her face into the cold water. She needed to go home and get away from all of this. She needed out of Charming.
She plunged her hand into the icy water, searching for a familiar orange can or even water. She wasn't having any luck. She thought that was a sign she needed to go home.
"Holy shit. Quinn, is that you?"
She looked up and found Jake Hale approaching her. He was the Captain of the football team. He wasn't as charming as his cousin David. Jake was, quite frankly, an asshole. She eyed him warily as he approached her. Her instincts were telling her to run, but for some reason, she froze.
She licked her lips and took a deep breath. "How can I help you, Jake?"
His smile seemed to get wider as he approached. Quinn didn't realize she was moving backward until she bumped into the wall. She was trapped - she was prey.
"You know dying her hair red worked in your favor, sweetheart," he slurred. She could smell the vodka. He gave her body a once-over. "Shame, you seem to be in the shadow of Teller."
She could smell his sweat and cologne. "Jake, can you step back."
He ignored her as he leaned heavily into her. His hand gripped her waist where her vest had it exposed.
"Jake -"
"You know, I wonder though…you trailing after him…you must be easy and putting out for him to tolerate it."
Quinn went to push him, but he had quick reflexes. His hands pinned her wrist.
"Ja-Jake, stop it!"
His free hand trailed her chest and down her vest to its button. "So you're only Teller's whore, huh. Apple doesn't fall far from that tree, huh."
Quinn brought her leg up and struck him right in the dick. He released his grip on her. She fled from the house. All those people there didn't even intervene. She shouldn't have gone to this stupid party.
She was surprised she didn't sprain her ankle as she rushed to her car. She didn't care that she was crying at this point. She was getting even more pissed off that she kept dropping her keys. She didn't even care that after the 5th attempt, she gave up and slid down on the side of her car and cried.
"Quinn."
"Go away, Jax."
She didn't want to be near him. She prayed that Miriam wasn't witnessing her have a mental breakdown. The jiggling of her keys echoed. She didn't fight it. Jax picked her up bridal style and placed her in the passenger seat of her car.
She didn't speak until they were pulling away from the party. "You can take me to a motel. I don't want to go home."
She should've known he wouldn't listen to her as he pulled into his driveway. She wanted to scream and shout. She would've just hopped in the driver's seat and sped far away from him if she was smart. Yet, crying exhausted her, and a part of her was weak.
She allowed Jax to lead her to his room. She didn't bother putting up a fight as she let him undress her. She wasn't shy or embarrassed about her body. He slid on an oversized navy SAMCRO shirt before he left and returned with a wet rag to wash her face of makeup.
Unfortunately, it exposed her neck. Jax sucked in a harsh breath.
"Quinn…"
"I don't want to get into this tonight."
She went to move to crawl into bed. The sooner she fell asleep, the quicker she could escape Jax and the feelings that plagued her.
"Quinn -"
"Do you even like me, Jax?"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You know exactly what that means." She fired back. He seemed at a loss for words, and she was just tired. "I'm tired, Jax. I just want to go to bed. I don't want to do this."
In the morning light, he could see the bruising on Quinn's neck better. He didn't know what to do with this knowledge. It didn't take him long to deduce this was why she wasn't at school or work earlier in the week. The bruise happened after he was with her.
He didn't even know who in the fuck would do that to her. He brought up his hands and looked at his raw knuckles. Jake's teeth grazed his knuckles. Before she fled, he had caught a glimpse of Jake invading Quinn's personal space.
He was grateful he even decided to go to that stupid fucking MORP party because who even knew what would have happened if he hadn't been the one to find Quinn.
Jax looked back down at Quinn, who was cuddled into his side. She had fallen asleep at the edge of his bed. He knew she wanted space from him, but somehow, in the night, they had ended up in a tangle of limbs.
He realized despite sleeping together, they never slept together. Quinn looked so much more at peace and content. She seemed to fit in his arms simply.
He was content with watching her sleep when she woke with a start. She seemed confused about where she was at. He loosened his grip on her to give her some breathing.
"Hey, you're okay." He soothed as he watched her chest expand rapidly.
Her green eyes fluttered around the room before they landed on his face. Her cheeks turned rosy. He found it endearing that she still got embarrassed.
"You sleep good?"
He could see that she was hesitant to speak. She was already planning on darting to the door. She looked so wounded.
"Hey, we…you…" He sighed because he didn't even know what he was trying to say. He knew they couldn't continue what they were doing without any actual conversation. "Today is a new day; we don't have to talk about last night."
Quinn said nothing for a few minutes before laying back on the bed. He quickly scooped her into his arms. She allowed it as his hands traveled beneath the shirt that she was wearing.
He was content to lay there, but how her breath hit his neck stirred him.
"We're not having sex, Jax."
"What - I -"
"Your hand just dipped beneath my underwear," she informed him cheekily. "And it's not my thigh making the blanket rise like that."
Jax huffed and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I wasn't going to try and have sex with you…yet."
Quinn giggled, and he brought her thigh up across his lap. He wasn't trying to initiate sex at all. He couldn't help that Quinn just caused his body to have that type of reaction.
He was fine to lay all day in bed with her, but he knew he needed to call Miriam since he just left without telling her he was leaving. Quinn probably wanted to go back home. He closed his eyes as Quinn traced random patterns across his chest.
He didn't remember falling back to sleep.
"Jax."
He hummed and buried his face deeper in his pillow.
"Jax!"
"Quinn, just go back to sleep," he mumbled.
"I'm not going back to sleep. I need to leave Jax."
That caused Jax to open his eyes before he rubbed them. He leaned up and found Quinn dressed in her pants from last night, but she kept the shirt he gave her on. He looked at the clock and realized he dozed off for a couple of hours.
"Let me walk you out."
She didn't voice any complaints as she waited. Jax just slid on some sweatpants and led her out of his room. He must have been tired because he didn't even think about his dad or grandfather in the house.
He knew Quinn wouldn't be able to handle it if they came across them and had to explain that it was just an innocent sleepover this time.
Thankfully, the downstairs seemed deserted as he led her to her car. He didn't care about the daylight or the prying eyes of his neighbors as he pressed a sleepy kiss to her lips. It surprised him that she returned it.
However, any sleep still lingering in his body evaporated as he saw his dad leaning against the dining room doorway, which led to the kitchen with a coffee mug.
"I was under the impression that Miriam was your girlfriend."
Jax flushed with that reminder. He knew he needed to break things off with Miriam sooner rather than later. It was just that they barely saw each other as it was. She was busy with school commitments, and it wasn't as if they were really fucking.
"She is."
"Jax."
Disappointment bled through his father's voice. "Dad…"
"Quinn is a nice girl, Jax. She doesn't need to be entangled in something like this."
"It's not like I am purposefully trying to be an asshole."
"Well, it's not like you are making many moves not to be one."
Jax glared at his father. "It's just -"
"Don't say it's complicated. You just turned 18."
Jax sighed. Then what could he say? Maybe his dad was right. He was being an asshole.
"Look, all I can say is you guys can't go back to the way things were after this. You both are about to go through some life changes. You want to earn a Patch. Quinn is leaving for college. You need to decide if you both are ready for the responsibilities of your lives' paths."
Jax wasn't sure what was up and down anymore. He had resolved to break things off with Miriam. It wasn't fair to her what he was doing. Jax knew the lifestyle that he was growing up in didn't blink an eye at infidelity. He didn't see himself needing to partake in it, and lo and behold, it was something he was doing. It would be different if he weren't exclusive with Miriam, but he made that commitment as her boyfriend.
Then, he got one of his best friends involved.
He would end things with Miriam. It was what he decided to do that day. But it didn't happen. Instead, he got roped into taking Miriam to prom. He didn't know how that even happened. He felt almost embarrassed about wanting to be an aspired outlaw when he got duped by a blonde. Worse, since Miriam's family wasn't home, they did end up having sex. He was surprised he even came with how methodical it had been.
Christ, he made a mess of things.
He had been able to track Quinn down at the library. He wondered why in the hell she was never home. He didn't think he had ever been in her house. It was always outside or in the woods he would go to.
He placed his helmet on his bike as he walked through the Charming's Public Library maze. He knew of all of her hiding places. He wasn't surprised to find her nose buried in a book. It seemed she was reading Rebecca.
"Quinn."
Her head snapped up. She started to smile, but it went away as soon as she took in his face. "What's wrong?"
Jax felt guilty. He never had plans on going to prom. It wasn't something the young biker wanted. Though without Quinn voicing it, he knew it was something she wanted. Quinn was sweet in that way. She always wanted to partake in these rituals or tokens of childhood. Things he never cared for. He knew it meant a lot to her, though.
Jax didn't know if he was going to ask her. Maybe he would have done it at the last minute. He knew he didn't like rubbing it in her face that Miriam was his girlfriend.
"I want you to hear this from me."
Her brows furrowed in even more confusion. "Okay."
"I'm going to prom with Miriam."
A blank expression came over her face. The shutters came over in her green eyes. "Oh."
Her eyes went back to her book. Jax knew it was a dismissal.
"Quinn…"
"What?" He could hear the wobble in her voice. She couldn't hide that.
"You never said you were going to prom." As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew they were wrong.
She didn't slam the book closed or anything. She closed it gently as she placed her bookmark inside. She rummaged through the bag at her side before she pulled out two tickets. She handed them over.
"I hope you two have fun, Jax."
Quinn skipped school and work for the week. She ignored every call and text that came from Jax. She replied some to Opie's inquiries, but she feared he would go to Jax if she divulged more that she wasn't feeling well.
It wasn't as if her mother cared; she was hibernating in her room. She was thankful Cillian went on a trip with a group of friends. Je wasn't there to torment her, at least.
The week away did give her some clarity that she was a stupid, foolish girl when it came to Jax. She couldn't believe she allowed herself to be used that way. It was one thing for them to be together that way, and he was single and just sleeping around.
Instead, he had a girlfriend. She was stupid to think that she would go to prom with Jax after everything. She would have had a better chance of asking Opie to take her, but she knew he was thinking of asking Donna.
If anything, this only made her count down the days to graduation. She only had to survive a summer here. Quinn hoped she could go with Elliot on some trips during the summer to get away. For once, take advantage of the luxuries that came with being the stepdaughter of Elliot Oswald.
One thing she knew for sure was she was over having red hair.
The trip to Sally's had been quick. She hoped her bleach job wasn't going to fry her hair. However, along with the new color, Quinn planned to cut a portion of it too. She settled on a color called Ocean Breeze—a teal with a light green undertone.
It was a change. It was bright—a total contrast to her feelings.
She had planned to call off work again, but she knew that she couldn't allow whatever was going on with Jax to affect the rest of her life. It was unfair to take advantage of John's generosity as a boss. So she did go in despite the fact she should be in school.
The lot was buzzing with activity as she parked her car. She was grateful they were too busy to notice her as she crept into the office. Well, one person would, of course, see her.
"Shouldn't you be in school?"
Quinn's eyes widened at the sight of John Teller sitting at the desk. Paperwork was all scattered across the desk. It made her feel even more guilty. At least the plants she bought had survived her absence.
"Didn't feel like going today." As she eyed Jax's father, she could see the features he passed down to Jax. They had the same nose and those sad, blue eyes. She also knew Jax inherited John's love of books and kind heart, which Jax buried deep.
John nodded his head. "I'm only going to allow this once. Besides, the place has been a mess without you. Don't know how we will survive when you leave for college."
"I'm sure you'll manage." She was sure they would all manage. Her presence never mattered much. She couldn't see why her absence would.
"Just because my son is an asshole, sweetheart, doesn't mean we all are."
Her throat became tight with the mention of Jax. She wasn't surprised that John knew or figured it out. "The blame can't be placed all on him."
"Whatever happens between you and Jax, you're still family."
Quinn's lip wobbled, and John quickly swept her in a hug. John had always been a paternal figure to her. Elliot tried, but they both seemed uncertain of where their relationship stood. John had been in her life for as long as she could remember.
Yet, soon, she knew even this would fade with time.
"You know you've been a miserable bastard for these past few weeks."
Leave it to Opie to be blunt, as always. Unlike their dates, who enjoyed their time on the dancefloor, he and Opie were tucked away at a table. Jax was finding prom utterly dull and a complete waste of time. The drinks weren't even fucking spiked, which was a total buzzkill. He was sipping on some fruit punch. It felt as if he was 8 and not 18.
But worse, all he could do was think about Quinn. She had effectively cut off all contact with him. She has yet to answer his calls or texts. When she was at the garage, she kept things cordial and professional. She didn't talk to him. He had no idea what was even going on in her life anymore.
The only thing he knew at this point was that her hair was a pretty teal color. He missed weaving his fingers through her hair. Her hair always smelled like oranges and summer to him.
"If you wanted to go with Quinn, why didn't you?"
Jax whipped his head to his best friend.
Opie snorted. "It was pretty obvious, Jax. I don't know how Miriam hasn't put two and two together."
Jax sagged in his seat. "I fucked things up."
"That you did," Opie agreed.
"Has she been talking to you?"
"Here and there."
Jax wanted to ask when Opie knew. It didn't matter now because he knew and he had seen it. He saw the way he treated Quinn. A part of him wondered why Opie didn't call him out on it. The worst part was that he was sort of glad Quinn wasn't talking to him. It made things a bit easier. She would be leaving Charming and create a life out of here. He didn't want to stop that.
He would patch into the club, and he knew Quinn would get hurt from him, making the club a priority.
And now, he was here with Miriam. He wanted this night to be fun for her. So he finished his drink and met her on the dance floor.
He went home with Miriam that night. It went as expected as he stripped her of her dress and fancy lingerie. Yet, sleep couldn't find him. It was evading him as Quinn was doing. He grabbed his cigarettes and phone as he went to Miriam's backyard.
She hated the smell of cigarettes. Jax would typically smoke in her bathroom surrounded by her parents' wealth, but he needed fresh air.
He didn't care that it was 3 in the morning as he opened his phone. He wasn't surprised that the call went automatically to their voicemail.
"Hey, Quinn, it's Jax, which you probably already know," he gave a self-deprecating chuckle. "I just wanted to tell you…I do love you."