"Paul? I'm a virgin."
Wide-eyed, he spat, "Bullshit."
Bella kept her serious expression, trying to convey she wasn't kidding.
Paul leaned back, closing his eyes as he sighed. He looked like someone who'd just won the state lottery as he muttered, "Oh, for fuck's sake, sweet baby Jesus, Gods, yes."
Bella nearly snorted, chuckling as she took a step back. Paul quickly followed, letting go of her hands to slide his hands around her waist.
She asked, "Why do guys care about that shit so much?"
It had been nearly an hour since Jacob had disappeared. Quil and Embry left after each finished their second beer. Despite the amount of alcohol Bella had consumed, the rollercoaster of emotions and a bottle of water seemed to kill a bit of her buzz. She'd just returned from another pee break when Paul cornered her near the hallway, across the room from her friends, to inquire whether they were leaving together.
Now, he laughed and tugged her toward him, barely brushing the front of her body against his. "With some women, it's like… Being the first one to walk across fresh snow."
Bella scoffed, and he continued, "Now, it's not like that with everybody. Some guys just like having that notch on their belt, and they think taking some poor girl's virginity is like adding a gold fucking star. Now, I don't care about that shit."
When she frowned at him in disbelief, he grinned. "Honestly, I don't. Do you want the truth? Virgins are too fucking nervous for me most of the time. I'll get up and leave if that happens. I'm not made for that shit."
Bella gasped and tried to pull back, but he held tight. "You'd just devastate some poor, frightened girl like that?" She wondered what he'd have thought if he knew how much mental turmoil she'd been in over the mere concept of having sex with him.
"Way before it ever got that far, Ducky. When a girl goes all fidgety from the start, I'm out. I won't take her home and throw her out of my bed. I'm not that much of a dick." Incredulously, he held her gaze and asked, "You think I fuck everyone? I don't. People assume I do, and some girls are happy to pretend it's true. That's my reputation, Bella, but most is just talk."
"Is that so?"
He nodded and stayed silent, waiting for her to react. She relaxed in his grip somewhat, and the mischievous smirk she knew well returned to his face.
She rolled her eyes. "So why do you give a shit about mine?"
"Because it's you. The one and only Bella Swan."
"Oh, whatever," she grumbled.
"No, I'm serious. You don't see how people look at you, Bella. If you knew how many people I've heard talk about having the hots for you…"
Bella laughed outright, "You're so full of shit."
"No," he said through his laughter as he raised one hand to cup her cheek. "I'm serious." He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, and she pushed back the urge to lean into his touch.
Suspiciously, she asked, "So you just want to be the person with that particular gold star, or..?"
He laughed again. Paul leaned down to brush his lips across her forehead before tilting her face to meet his for a deep, tender kiss. Her eyes fluttered shut as she sighed into his mouth, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.
Butterflies, she thought sarcastically. From Paul Lahote.
He broke away and leaned down further to press his nose to her neck, inhaling deeply. Exhaling, he whispered, "Gods, you smell so fucking good."
Bella's eyes flew open in surprise as he kissed her neck, sending a rush of heat through her limbs that ended directly between her legs. Bella raised her hand to cup the back of his neck as he kissed hers again before brushing the tip of his tongue across her skin. Suddenly, she felt her earlobe gently pulled between his lips, and she was weak in the knees.
The hand he'd kept at her cheek slid into her hair and lightly tugged at the back of her scalp as his lips returned to her neck. The one at her hip slid around to cup her ass, and Bella moaned as he squeezed, lifting her somewhat.
Bella glanced around, panting and vaguely aware of the eyes on them from across the room. Her cheeks flushed as she tried to pull away, but Paul's lips were still attacking her neck.
"Paul," she whispered against his ear. "People are watching."
A particular pair of eyes seemed to glare holes into the back of Paul's head. Leah excused herself from the others and headed toward them.
He stopped kissing Bella long enough to mutter, "What's your point?"
His head whipped back as he let go of Bella and cringed as Leah held the cartilage of his ear between sharp, pinching fingernails. Leaning in so they could both hear her, Leah said, "Look, Swan. If you want to do this, I will not cock block you, okay? But go home. La Whore and I will have a nice little chat, and then he can meet you there."
Bella huffed, "Leah! What the hell are you trying to do?"
Leah grinned despite the scowl on Paul's face as he winced at the pressure she had on his ear. She leaned in to kiss Bella's cheek and asked, "Do you trust me?"
Bella frowned. "Don't act dumb, Lee. You know I do." She teasingly batted Leah's arm and said, "Quit that!"
Paul couldn't help but laugh at her, and Leah finally released his ear. He reached up to rub the red spot where she'd pinched him.
Leah said, "Bells, go home. Just trust me."
To Bella's surprise, Paul looked more curious and amused than anything as he patiently waited for her decision. Bella's heartbeat quickened as she glanced toward the door. If she left right now, it would agree to whatever Leah planned. It would give in to Paul, too. He would expect her to be waiting for him at her house.
Bella tugged Leah's wrist. "Um, can we talk?"
Leah glared at Paul and said, "You better stick close because we're gonna chat before you leave here."
He scoffed. "What business is it of yours anyway, Leah?"
Leah poked him in the chest with her finger. "My Bestie, my business. Go on. Grab another beer or something. I'll find you in five minutes."
"Whatever." Paul winked at Bella before heading toward the kitchen for a fresh beer.
Bella hissed, "What are you doing?"
Leah looked at the ceiling and sighed before focusing on Bella's face. "I… can't believe I'm doing this…Or that it's Paul… but if this is something you want to do, I'm not stopping you. I just want to make sure he knows I will fucking murder him if he hurts you."
Bella couldn't help but laugh. "I have no expectations of Paul, Lee. I didn't even fully agree to do anything with him. There's weird chemistry there. Probably because we hated each other for years, but I won't let him break my heart or anything."
Leah chuckled. "I'm not worried about him breaking your heart, Bella. I'm slightly worried that you're… much smaller than he is. He could toss you around like a rag doll before realizing you're hurt."
Despite the smile on her face, Bella could hear the sincerity behind her words. "It's sweet that you want to protect me. It's nice to know someone has my back."
"Shut the fuck up, Swan." Leah huffed, and Bella laughed.
She couldn't help but conjure the mental image of Leah bursting into her bedroom to haul Paul out of there by his ear. Her cheeks burned as she suddenly focused on the thought of a naked Paul hovering above her and the sensations he had stirred a minute ago.
But then, the idea of Leah being there changed, and suddenly, she appeared next to them in a very different context. Bella felt the heat of her blush rush down her torso as the thought of making out with Leah on her bed blended with Paul's feverish caresses in her mind. The idea of having them both with her, making her feel like that… She shivered.
"Bells?" Leah's voice pulled Bella from her lust-filled stupor.
It's official, Bella. You've been dying to have sex for so long that you've lost your damn mind. Glancing up at Leah, she said, "Huh?"
"Bella, is this something you want? To bang Paul, the whore of La Push?"
She did. Bella didn't even have to think about it twice. She had probably thought about it too much already. That didn't mean she should go through with it.
"I mean…I want the experience. And it's Paul. That's weird for me, too. At least I know he knows what he's doing, and it wouldn't be two idiot virgins bumping noses and fumbling around. And there are no real strings there."
No strings to tangle up and sever, like Jacob.
Leah raised an eyebrow at that. "But?"
Timidly, Bella asked, "Is it going to hurt?"
There was no teasing in her tone as Leah asked, "Are you afraid?"
"A little? I guess. He's so much bigger than me."
Leah chuckled. "That's what I'm saying. And it might, I won't lie. If you're turned on enough, it shouldn't. Unless things are… well, generously proportionate to the rest of him."
Instead of meeting Leah's gaze, Bella squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment as she asked, "Is it weird that I kind of… want you there?"
She slowly opened her eyes to Leah's astonished face. Leah's cheeks reddened as she looked around the room and snickered. "Wow."
Bella huffed, "What?" Fuck. I fucked up. I knew I shouldn't have said anything!
"Oh, Swan," Leah said with a sigh, still not looking at her. "I was going to suggest it and thought it would be too weird."
Bella gaped at her in disbelief. "You... want to be there?"
Leah shrugged as though it didn't matter and slowly turned toward her. "Go to your house. I will still threaten Paul. But I'll be there soon, too."
Bella looked toward the front door again and hesitated. It was time to decide. Bella doubted Leah meant 'being there' in the same context she'd just visualized, but the thought of her being near made Bella feel better. Safer, somehow.
Maybe Jacob is right, and I'm too damn codependent sometimes. Instead of saddening her as the thought of Jacob usually did, it immediately irritated her. She couldn't help but recall Embry's warning, too.
If you wanted to piss Jacob off, making out with Paul would be the way to go.
But this was a lot more than making out. And it wasn't about Jacob Black. It wasn't about how he'd hurt her or knowing he would undoubtedly argue against this idea if he knew. It was about making her own decisions and finally experiencing things she had already wanted for far too long.
Bella nodded. "Okay."
"Okay?" Leah asked, seeming somewhat surprised despite having had the same idea, "You want to do this, and you want me to be… present. You're sure?"
"Yes." Bella nodded again. "I think I need this. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm driving myself crazy with the mental back and forth."
"Then walk. You're sober enough. I'll be there soon."
Before she could lose her nerve, Bella headed toward the door. Her hands shook, and her heart raced while reaching for the handle. She looked up in time to see Paul leaning in the kitchen doorway, watching her as a determined Leah strode his way. She winked at him and slipped outside as his face split into a wide grin.
Was she out of her mind for going through with this? Probably. Bella didn't entirely trust Paul, but she trusted Leah. And for now, that had to be enough.
Please Review. xo.