"This is perfect timing, isn't it? New year, new start!" Gina smiles excitedly at Kakashi-sensei and Sakura. "What better time to say farewell to old squabbles and move back home?"

Kakashi-sensei just grunts, clearly not as optimistic. Sakura offers Gina a smile of her own, silently praying that Gina's optimistic take will prove truthful.

She shivers a little in the cold December air, pausing a moment to adjust her grip on the multiple shopping bags she's carrying, before hurrying to catch up with the adults. It's a beautiful, clear day in Konoha and the streets are bustling with activities in preparation for the New Year's celebrations.

"Do you remember what I told you, Sakura-chan?"

Kakashi-sensei's voice is a little bit rougher than normal. Tense, she thinks. Probably a sign of how uncomfortable he is with the whole situation. A sliver of guilt makes another shiver run down her spine. Kakashi-sensei went to Okami Island for her sake. Fought a pack of wolves for her. Just because she wanted a proper apprenticeship contract. And now he's moving back in with a clan he clearly hasn't spoken to in … a very long time, at any rate.

Her own voice, when she speaks, is carefully controlled and she does her best to copy the optimism of Gina: "Don't trust anyone and don't talk to anyone unless it's absolutely necessary?"

"Exactly."

Beside Kakashi, Gina scoffs. "I feel like I ought to be insulted."

"You ought to," Kakashi replies, his tone more humorous than his words. "You're included in the untrustworthy."

"Don't listen to him, Sakura-chan. I'm sure we'll be best friends in no time."

Gina winks at her before she pushes at the front gate to the Hatake compound, holding it open to Kakashi, Gin and her. There's a pair of kadomatsu - the traditional pine- and bamboo New Year's decorations - on either side of the gates, with ornaments made from plum sprigs and purple ribbons. Above the gate hangs a shimekazari, braided with straw and more purple ribbons. The decorations remind Sakura of Gina. She cannot imagine the Commander sitting down to craft the decorations - much less his mysterious and apparently wholly untrustworthy wife.

"Don't listen to her," Kakashi-sensei continues the conversation as they enter the compound, seemingly unaware that Sakura is paying more attention to the decorations than to him. "You'll just wind up learning all of her bad habits."

"I've got a whole lot of bad habits to teach you kiddo, and none of them include reading porn in public."

Kakashi-sensei glares at Gina, but she just gives him a mischievous smile in return.

The Hatake compound, Sakura finds, is nothing like the Haruno compound. The Haruno compound is a lot smaller, yet a lot more busy, consisting of homes and various fabric businesses. People come and go all the time, both those of the Haruno clan as well as outsiders wanting to make business.

The Hatake compound, in contrast, seems vast and mostly consists of forest from the look of it. One dirt road leads straight up to what she assumes to be the main house, a modest and old fashioned building. Both the house and the road are surrounded by tall, dark trees that seem to cast their shadows everywhere, letting almost no sunshine through. There are scrubby bushes everywhere, and a sensation as if something is watching every step they take. Sakura isn't sure that she likes it and makes sure to keep close to the others, just to be safe.

Gin, on the other hand, is happily skipping along ahead, unleashed now that they're within the compound. Occasionally, Kakashi-sensei will shout a correction at him, and the pup will briefly return to them before running on ahead again.

Just before the main building, the road splits into three. The largest of the three roads continue ahead, up to the main building, which sports similar New Year's decorations as the gate. Another, less worn road, leads down to the nearby river, where she spots a smaller but equally old fashioned house. That is where Gina now leads them.

"Where does the other road lead?" Sakura asks, following the other path with her gaze. It disappears into the forest, with no signs of ever being travelled.

Both Kakashi and Gina turn around, giving her near identical looks of first vague curiosity and then grimness.

"Nowhere important," Kakashi-sensei replies. "Don't go there."

"Why not?"

"Kakashi is right, Sakura-chan. That way leads to old man Gohei's place and trust me, you don't want to go there."

Sensing that her curiosity is making them both uncomfortable, Sakura hurries to catch up with them again, but can't resist the temptation of further questions.

"Is he the great uncle you mentioned, Kakashi-sensei?"

"More like great, great, great uncle!" Gina replies before Kakashi can. "He's 'bout as old as one can get. He probably even calls the village elders by their first names, and he's a lot more unpleasant to be around!"

"Exactly, so stay away from him, Sakura. I mean it." Kakashi-sensei gives her a stern look.

Sakura nods obediently, keeping her pouting purely internal. Shesh, seems like he's determined not to have her interact with anyone in this place. Not his aunt, not his great uncle and not even Gina, though she's pretty sure he's only joking when it comes to her.

The house has been cleaned and warmed up in preparation for their arrival, but the thin paper walls means that the air is still not exactly warm. Tatami mats cover the floors though, providing some barrier against the cold as she steps on them with bare feet.

Unsurprisingly, the house is bigger than Kakashi-sensei's current apartment. It consists of two floors, with the bottom floor holding a kitchen, a bathroom and a separate toilet, as well as two other rooms with tatami flooring. A wooden staircase leads to the second floor, and that is where Kakashi and Gina lead her.

"This is you, Sakura," Kakashi-sensei says, using a foot to slide the nearest sliding door open since he too is carrying multiple shopping bags. "Best view of the house, trust me."

She'd already known that she'd be getting her own room, but there's still a warmth spreading somewhere in her chest and the thought. Her room. Not a room she has to share with her mother or someone else, not a couch in someone else's living room where she can sleep. A whole room, just for her.

In Kakashi-sensei's house.

Putting her bags down she steps further into the room, noticing the sliding doors that lead to a closet, but finding herself drawn towards the large windows that take up most of the wall on the opposite side of the door. The view is indeed impressive, opening up to the gently rippling river outside. A rare sliver of sunlight manages to reach through the large tree tops, bathing her in its gentle warmth. It doesn't even feel like she's still in the village, but rather alone in the forest somewhere. The abundance of forest on the grounds serves to keep the noise of the village away, giving her a wholly peaceful impression.

"It's great," she says, turning back to Gina and Kakashi. They have already deposited their bags elsewhere. "Are you sure you don't mind me getting the view?"

"Nah. My room is bigger anyway."

There are in fact three bedrooms, Sakura knows. And Kakashi-sensei occupies two of them. It seems strange, that he'd need two bedrooms for himself, but that had seemed to be the layout of his first apartment too. She shrugs it off as yet another quirk of his. Besides, it's his house anyway. Who is she to say what he can and cannot do here?

Kakashi-sensei unseals her belongings from the storage scroll before he and Gina leave her alone to get settled in. Sakura takes another moment to survey the room, the view and the small mountains of things to unpack.

She starts with her old things: her shirts and dresses are properly hung in the wardrobe, the rest of her clothes are neatly folded and placed into drawers. Her spare weapons and ninja equipment - or what she has left, having lost most of it during her impromptu ice-bath in the ocean - stashed in another drawer, before she lines the top of the bureau with her little collection of scented toiletries.

With that done she then turns to the shopping bags, another burst of warmth filling her chest. All of these things are from Kakashi-sensei, for her comfort and enjoyment. Never before has she felt so spoiled or welcomed by someone who isn't her mother.

With reverent hands she starts to unpack it all: the thick, green curtains, the matching blankets and pillows with little cherry blossom prints and the brand new futon. It's a matter of minutes to unroll the futon, make her bed and hang the curtains, but the result is a full transformation of the room into something warm and welcoming and somehow hers.

She fiddles with the curtains a little bit more, unsure of what to make of herself now that she's unpacked. Eventually, the smell of Kakashi-sensei's cooking draws her out of her room and down the stairs.

"-didn't actually expect you to move in, Kashi, regardless of what Ma said. What changed your mind?"

Sakura pauses, halfway down the stairs, to listen to the conversation.

"The apartment was too small already when it was just Sakura and I, but clearly it wasn't working with Gin too."

"Yeah, I guess wolves aren't meant for living in apartments."

"I am serious though; if your mother steps one foot in this house, or if she says one word to Sakura-"

"You'll release your mighty wrath upon her, I get it. She knows too, and trust me, she's too happy to have you both here to jeopardise that."

Kakashi-sensei mutters something, too quietly for Sakura to hear, but from the tone of it it's nothing nice.

"I know you're not exactly moving in of your own will, but I really think this will be good," Gina continues. "You won't have to worry about Gin running around, and -"

"It's rude to eavesdrop, Sakura. Do it better, or don't do it at all."

Blushing at having been caught, Sakura takes the last couple of steps down the stairs and joins the others in the kitchen. Kakashi-sensei is cooking again, and the smell is absolutely delicious. Who'd think a man like him knows how to cook? Sakura's stomach growls appreciatively.

Kakashi-sensei serves the food out on uneven plates and bowls and the three of them settle down at the low, traditional table. Gin, smelling the food, tries to jump on top of the table, but Kakashi-sensei pushes him down.

"Bad Gin. Not on the table. Go lay down."

It takes a couple of attempts, but eventually the pup settles down by the wall, looking at them with large, pleading eyes that Kakashi-sensei ignores. Sakura finds ignoring those eyes more difficult, and has to force herself to focus on the meal and the conversation.

"You should get a kotatsu," Gina says, eagerly serving herself. "These old houses are horrible in the winter otherwise.

"Another reason I would have preferred to live elsewhere."

Gina sticks her tongue out at Kakashi but doesn't look truly offended.

"I'd like a kotatsu," Sakura offers quietly.

As it will be just her and Kakashi-sensei living here, keeping the house warm will probably become more difficult as the cold gets worse.

"We'll see about it."

"I need to get new harnesses and weights too. And I lost most of my kunai and weapon's pouch too." She shivers at the memory of the cold ocean and her near drowning.

Freezing, cold water.

Her lungs burning for air, not-quite-numb fingers scratching themselves bloody on the ice, desperately searching for an opening.

She shakes her head, trying to rid herself of the memories.

They've been back in Konoha for several days already, but between Kakashi-sensei getting called away on a mission, her having to look after Gin and then the abrupt move, they somehow haven't had the time to get to her need for new weapons and training equipment. Kakashi-sensei had insisted on them prioritising on getting her a new futon and stuff for her room, which seems … well, odd, frankly speaking, for a man like him.

"Well, most of the shops will be closed during New Years, and I'm leaving for a mission right after, so we'll do that when I get back," Kakashi-sensei says, calmly. "It'll give you time to recover properly too."

Sakura barely resists the urge to roll her eyes, because, uh, what's happened to the stupidly strict Kakashi-sensei who would push her on until she quite literally could not move anymore? "I still want to get back to training again. What else will I do while you're gone, apart from looking after Gin?"

"Didn't I tell you? Since the apprenticeship paperworks is now cleared, you'll be taking missions with the Genin Corps while I'm gone."

That, at least, has Sakura eagerly straightening in her seat.

"I'll be taking missions again? For real?" '

At her excitement, Gin rushes at the table again, jumping playfully on her even as he eagerly eyes the food. Sakura laughs in surprise and wrestles him down under control, until he's sitting safely in her lap. He's still eyeing the food hopefully. Kakashi-sensei gives him a disapproving look but doesn't scold him or her.

"For real. Only D-ranked ones though, and I'm still expecting you not to strain yourself too hard."

She should probably be disappointed at being restricted to D-ranked missions, but at the moment she's just happy that she'll finally be allowed to do missions at all.

"Thank you, sensei."

Gin makes a grab for her food, and Sakura hastily has to pull her plate out of the way.

"Hah, soon both you and Gin will be big enough to join Kakashi on missions, Sakura-chan," Gina laughs, ruffling Sakura's hair. "I bet you'll both be super cute, trailing after him like little ducklings after their mother!"

She blushes, but there's a warmth in her stomach at the thought.

Kakashi-sensei pointedly snatches Gina's plate away and tells her to get out. Considering that she eventually does manage to wrestle him down enough to get her plate back, he probably doesn't mean it seriously.

"By the way, do you guys have any plans for New Years yet?" Gina asks towards the end of the meal.

Sakura glances at Kakashi-sensei, noticing that he's looking at her too. He raises an eyebrow questioningly at her, and she looks down at her plate again. She pokes at the food with her chopsticks, suddenly not really hungry again.

"I don't. I'd usually celebrate with mom and the rest of the family, but …"

But she'll never get to celebrate the New Year with her mother again. Nor with the rest of the Haruno Clan either. Her throat suddenly seems too tight, her eyes stinging with tears at the realisation. It's not really a surprise, but the pain is suddenly acute.

She could spend the holiday with some of her friends, but it's probably too late to plan something anyway. Ino is probably celebrating with her clan, and the Yamanaka have a whole thing about celebrating with the Nara and Akimichi too. Aimi and Takeshi will probably be celebrating with their parents. That leaves Tomomi and Hajime. Hajime likes to spend the weekends and holidays drinking, she knows from previous experience. Tomomi probably already has plans.

"Well, you both could join the rest of us, if you'd like? I mean, Ma, Pa and me. Gohei might show too, but I doubt it. We like to have dinner together, and then head to the shrine at midnight."

"Which shrine?" Sakura asks curiously. Konoha has a number of them, and she's been to a couple of them, but not all. It's tradition, of course, to visit the shrine at the beginning of the new year, but she's never been at midnight before.

"Oh, you wouldn't know it," Gina explains. "There's actually a local shrine here in the Compound, dedicated to the Okami. It's like a smaller version of the one at Okami Island. The Hatake clan have tended to it for generations." She glances hesitantly at Kakashi at the last part.

Sakura looks at him too, but he's unreadable. Sometimes she thinks she can read him, despite the mask and the headband, but other times he just looks blank.

"Thank you for the invitation," is all he says.

From that, Sakura surmises that they probably won't be joining the rest of the Hatake-clan in their celebrations.

Too bad, she thinks. She's getting more and more curious about these supposedly completely untrustworthy people from Kakashi-sensei's mysterious past.

If they're anything like Gina or Commander Hatake, she rather thinks she'll like them.

"Sakura!"

Kakashi catches his apprentice's small, fragile body in his arms, staring down at her bloodied and bruised face.

"Sen-sei," she stutters, her voice weak, barely more than a breath. "Why didn't you …"

Her eyes glaze over, staring into an abyss he can no longer protect her from. Her body, already so small and light in his arms, goes completely limp.

"Sakura!" he cries helplessly. "Sakura!"

A shadow suddenly looms over him. "Told you you weren't man enough to protect her, boy."

There's a fist-sized hole in her chest and the smell of ozone and burned flesh in the air. His own hand is bloody as he shakes her lifeless body.

"This is your fault, you know, and-"

"Sakura!"

Kakashi sits up, drenched in sweat, staring wildly around the room. It takes him a moment to orient himself, recognising the walls of his old childhood bedroom. Once he does, he hesitantly lowers the kunai in his hand, just in time for Gin to jump at him, nuzzling up against him and showering him with loving little licks.

"Just a nightmare," Kakashi quietly tells the wolf. "Nothing to worry about."

He's in the house in the Hatake Compound.

Gin is here, and Sakura is most likely sleeping in her bedroom on the other side of the hallway.

Perfectly safe.

Nothing for him to be afraid of.

With a shuddering breath he forces himself to relax. Gently, he pushes Gin aside and stands, before stepping on soundless feet across the room and out into the hallway. The sliding door to Sakura's bedroom makes a slight, squeaking noise that nevertheless fails to wake her up. Kakashi isn't sure if he should envy her the kind of peace or train it out of her as soon as possible.

Either way, she is indeed safely asleep in her bed. The covers are pulled all the way up to her chin, and the room itself is cold enough that her breath forms a small cloud every time she breathes out. He makes a mental note of getting some heaters, to properly warm these rooms up.

Gin tries to rush into the room, but Kakashi blocks him with a foot and closes the door quietly again. Still, he remains standing outside her bedroom, just listening to her breathing for another couple of minutes, until his chest stops feeling quite so tight and he can breathe more easily again.

Realising that he's unlikely to get much more sleep tonight he makes his way downstairs and steps out onto the veranda. A thin layer of snow has fallen, covering the ground in white. Gin eagerly rushes out, tracing the tracks of any mice or squirrels that have been active since last night.

He remains there, standing at the veranda, mindlessly watching the slowly falling snow. The creak running beside the house hasn't frozen over yet, and the surface glitters softly in the moonlight. The sound of the slowly flowing water helps calm his quickly beating heart.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

He doesn't startle from her voice, having heard her get up and head downstairs. "Can't sleep?" he asks quietly.

She shudders a little in the cold draft from the door, pulling her night robe closer around herself.

"I had a nightmare," she offers by way of explanation. "Thought I'd make myself a cup of tea or something. You?"

He considers lying; saying that Gin woke him up or something equally plausible. There's numerous little lies he could tell that she'd accept without pause.

"Same."

"Do you want some tea too, or ..?"

With a whistle he recalls Gin, who quickly comes rushing through the snow. As soon as he's entered the house he shakes himself, getting half-melted snow everywhere.

"I'll make some. How 'bout you feed Gin?"

She nods in wordless agreement and they set to their individual tasks. Preparing Gin's breakfast doesn't require any actual cooking, which is perfect for Sakura, and preparing the tea requires very little of Kakashi's attention, leaving him free to watch his two pups.

She's alive, he reminds himself. Alive and safe here in Konoha. Her eyes seem large in her pale face, but her worried frown is quickly disappearing thanks to Gin's antics. Still, Kakashi doesn't like the haunted look in her eyes, which speaks of nightmares probably similar to his own.

When the tea is done they settle down at the table, and Kakashi notes in the back of his mind that Gina is right. A proper kotatsu would be wonderful to have.

And slippers. He'll buy some nice, warm slippers for both himself and Sakura as soon as possible.

Slowly the cold dread of the nightmare leaves him. Which does not mean that he is without worry - far from it. There are plenty of real-life terrors that rival the nightmares. He tries to tell himself that he's made the right choice. He's finally trying to do right by Sakura, and as much as he's still sceptical about moving back here he sees no other solution that suits both Sakura and Gin.

He's doing the best that he can for his pups. He's trying, damnit! All he can do is hope that it'll prove enough in the end. He doesn't regret taking her on as his apprentice, but every time he looks at her there's a devastating terror of responsibility that threatens to overwhelm him.

People close to him die.

Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei and so very, very nearly Sakura too. If it weren't for Gina … He shudders at the thought, but that's surprisingly one of his main reasons for actually going through with this move. If it weren't for his … he doesn't like to use the word trust, but … sudden lack of animosity towards Gina … and the firm conviction that even Kichiro would look after Sakura … he'd never have done it. He doesn't think so. He would have had to find another way. Perhaps by getting some kind of long-term mission outside of Konoha, where he could keep Gin and Sakura relatively safe while he worked, or … well, it doesn't really matter.

Things are what they are, and having both Sakura and Gin safely stored within Konoha walls whenever he cannot look after them himself is a huge comfort, even if that comfort comes with its own kind of dangers.

When he's done with his tea, Kakashi returns to the kitchen to get breakfast started.

A little bit later Sakura quietly heads for the bathroom.

Half an hour later she's back, bathed and dressed for the day. They settle down for breakfast. It's a fairly simple meal, as he hasn't bothered to stock up on too much yet. That will need to change, however.

"We should go shopping later, when the stores open," Kakashi says quietly. "What's your favourite food for the New Year?"

She shrugs her shoulders without really answering.

"I mean, I could make full on traditional Osechi Ryori, but it'd help to know what you like?" Kakashi continues, his voice taking on a vaguely teasing tone. "So what do you want? Noodles? Shrimp? Or perhaps you're more about the mochi or the red bean paste?"

Finally she offers him a smile over the rim of her bowl of miso soup.

"I don't think I'm that much of a picky eater. I'll eat anything you'd like to make, sensei.

He opens his mouth to respond, to tell her that she still hasn't really answered his question, but before he can speak she continues:

"I do like anmitsu though. And dumplings."

"I can make anmitsu." He's not too fond of sweet things himself, but he's sure he can manage some anmitsu if it'll make her happy.

"Thank you, sensei."

"Now personally, I like anything with eggplant in it," Kakashi offers.

She gives him a brief, confused look before shifting into an understanding smile.

"I like eggplant too, at least as long as it doesn't get too spicy."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They've barely taken five steps outside of the Hatake Compound when the incident happens.

It's preceded by a surprisingly shrill "Sakuraaa-saaaan!" that gives Sakura just enough time to lock her feet in place before two hands land on her shoulders.

"Found you at last, Sakura-san!"

Her heart is still beating a little too hard from the sudden close contact, and she doesn't have the heart to tell him off either. Instead she just turns to give Lee a mildly confused look.

"Found me?"

"Indeed, Sakura-chan! You have proven to be a worthy rival indeed, outclassing me so thoroughly in our challenge of hide and seek."

Oh, she thinks. Forgot about that. She glances at Kakashi-sensei, who has his face buried in a book and seems entirely unaware of their conversation - if not for the fact that he's halted to wait for her in.

"Sorry!" she says sheepishly. "Kakashi-sensei and I sort of got a mission and had to leave in a hurry, so I guess I forgot to tell you."

"No apology needed, Sakura-chan!" Gai-sensei's voice booms as he comes up on her other side, flashing her a smile with far too bright teeth. "It only makes sense after all, for the apprentice of my cool and hip eternal rival to be almost as cool and hip as her master! Right, Kakashi?"

"Exactly!" Lee agrees. "I need to accept my defeat with dignity, and for losing our contest so thoroughly I will run two hundred laps around this village! Won't you join me, Sakura-san?"

Torn between guilt and embarrassment she glances again at Kakashi-sensei, who's apparently not going to help her out of this situation.

"Sorry, I'm under medic's orders to take it easy for the next few days. Maybe another time?" She tries to soften the words with an apologetic smile, because of course she has no plans on ever joining him for a whole two hundred laps around the village, especially seeing how she's still struggling with her mere two laps.

Lee, however, seems wholly unaware of her intentions. "Another time then, Sakura-san!"

With those words he hurries on his steps again, heading back for the village wall from where he'd come from his usual morning run. His other two teammates are already waiting for him, looking vaguely annoyed at the interruption to their training.

"See you tomorrow morning, Great Rival!" Gai says, offering Kakashi-sensei a thumbs up. "For another great challenge between Eternal Rivals!"

Kakashi simply waves him off, not bothering to even reply.

"Should I be concerned?" Sakura asks quietly when they're alone again. "About this … rivalry? I mean, they're both so … intense."

"Friendly rivalry is a good motivator," Kakashi-sensei replies, still not looking up from his book as they continue towards the market place. "However, as my apprentice, I hope you realise that I cannot have you be less than equal with Lee in your challenges, or else it'd reflect badly back on me. Which, I don't need to tell you, would make things less than comfortable for you."

The last part is said with an edge of danger that almost has Sakura shivering in her tracks.

"Well, I'll just have to make sure I don't lose then, won't I? Not too often at least."

"Good girl."

His hand ruffles her hair, and she squeaks in indignation, quickly trying to slap his hands away. Even so, her cheeks are flushing with satisfaction at the praise.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely! Trust me, Sakura-chan, I am one-hundred percent certain that-"

"You're wrong."

"Yeah, according to the instructions you're supposed to use these screws. They're longer, see?"

Sakura looks from Lee's slowly fading smile to Neji's vaguely annoyed face and then to Tenten's patient-but-just-barely-so expression. Then she looks down on the piles of screws, wood and stuffed cushions on the floor. She sighs to herself. Who'd thought assembling a couch would be so difficult?

"Okay, let's look at the instructions again," she suggests, letting go of the (back-panel? Bottom-panel?) she'd been trying to affix to the part Lee's holding.

They gather around the instructions again, trying to figure them out. Neji and Tenten are the quickest there, forcing Sakura to try to read everything upside down.

"See?" Tenten says, pointing to a diagram. "You're supposed to use the 2B-screws, not the 2E-ones."

"But didn't we use those for-"

"No, that was the 1B-screws."

"And don't forget the plugs either."

"I see, I see. As always, you're correct, Tenten." Lee reaches for another pile of screws.

"No!" Sakura, Tenten and Neji chorus.

"Those are the 3B-screws!"

Lee frowns, confused.

"How's it going?" Kakashi-sensei asks from the doorway.

Sakura just glances at him, still trying to understand the directions in front of her, before doing a double take. Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei have both exchanged their jounin vests for matching, kunai-patterned aprons. With their sleeves rolled up and, in Gai-sensei's case, a large spot of flour on one cheek, they look surprisingly homely. Considering that they're, y'know, jounin. And single men. Professional killers, and all that stuff.

"Oh, it's going fine indeed!" Lee reassures the adults, as if he hasn't spent the last forty minutes constantly reaching for the wrong screws or misinterpreting the directions. "We'll have this couch assembled in no time, don't worry, we won't let you down!"

Kakashi-sensei makes a doubtful sound. "Anyway, the food will be ready in about ten minutes, so why don't you take a break and continue later?"

"Oh, but we're almost finished here anyway, we couldn't possibly give up until-"

Tenten slaps her hand over Lee's mouth, forcefully silencing him.

"That sounds great! Why don't you help set the table, Lee, while the three of us, uh, make sure we haven't mixed up the screws and everything?"

Given a new task to focus on, Lee eagerly disappears into the kitchen with the adults. Sakura breathes a sigh of relief, before she too is pushed aside.

Within minutes Neji and Tenten have the couch - a gift from Gai-sensei to Kakashi - properly assembled. And if there's a couple of extra screws left over … well, it certainly looks fine anyway, Sakura thinks, deciding not to question the sturdiness of their work.

Between Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei both cooking, the meal is a veritable feast. It's a late lunch/early dinner - Linner? Sakura thinks. Or is it dunch? - consisting of all of the traditional new year's eve foods. There's two types of datemaki, the rolled omelette, one mixed with fish and one with mashed shrimp, as well as broiled fish cake, seaweed, soybeans, pickled daikon and carrots, fried fish, dried sardines in soy sauce, a soup with mochi rice cakes, miso soup, skewered prawns, sashimi, sushi, egg roulades and much more. For dessert, there's a soup made from sweet red beans, served with toasted mochi and shiratama dango.

Sakura sits down between Kakashi-sensei and Tenten, unable not to stare at all the food. Did Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei really make all of this?

"Before we eat, there's something else we need to do first!" Gai-sensei exclaims, clapping his hands together.

Lee, Tenten and even Neji straighten in their seats, and a moment later Gai-sensei produces four decorated envelopes which he hands to each of his students and then Sakura.

"Otoshidama?" Sakura asks. She's aware of the practice of course, has even received the monetary gift from many of her relatives in the past, but she wouldn't have expected Gai-sensei to be giving such gifts to his students, much less to her. They're not related, after all. And she's technically an adult, isn't she?

"Of course!" Gai-sensei's smile is almost blinding. "Your teammates are like a family, aren't they? And you're my esteemed rival's apprentice."

Sakura blinks, still struggling to accept the fact that he's giving her a gift just like that.

"Thank you," she manages at last, bowing her head respectfully.

Wordlessly, Kakashi-sensei slides another envelope across the table to her. It's thicker than the one from Gai-sensei, she notes distantly, mumbling another "thank you" as she bows her head again.

It shouldn't feel this strange. She's gotten plenty of Otoshidama before; from her mother, her aunt and uncle, grandmother as well as the extended Haruno Clan. It's not like it's a new experience, and yet … and yet she has to discreetly wipe her eyes, because she'd rather die than have anyone notice that she's crying.

Stupid tears, she thinks to herself. And then, with a smile, stupid sensei for making her feel like she's got a family again. Like he's her family now.

Almost like a father.

She's never had one before, not that she can remember, but she imagines that having one wouldn't be too different from having a Kakashi-sensei.

"Itadakimasu," the others say, startling her out of her reverie.

Hastily, Sakura pockets her two envelopes and slaps her hands together, repeating the phrase herself. "Itadakimasu. Thank you for the food Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei."

They eat.

And eat and eat and eat.

Gai-sensei regales them all with tales of challenges between Kakashi and him, or adventures they've been on. Sometimes Lee or Tenten or Neji will cut in, asking a question or making a parallel to a mission of theirs.

The adults share a bottle of sake. Curiously, Gai-sensei's stories grow more and more spectacular as the contents of the bottle diminishes.

If Kakashi-sensei is at all affected by the alcoholic drink, then it's not enough to be percetable to Sakura.

By the time Gai-sensei and his team leave it is already late in the evening. By then, they've helped clean all of the dirty dishes and put the leftovers away in the fridge, leaving Sakura and Kakashi-sensei to languish lazily on the new couch. Which is proving to be quite sturdy, actually, despite the leftover screws. Sakura decides that Neji and Tenten apparently know what they're doing after all.

Unsurprisingly, they fall asleep like that.

They wake at midnight, to the ringing of the temple bells, only to wish each other a happy new year and make their way to their respective bedrooms.

All in all, Sakura considers it a good New Years Eve.

The first day of the new year is spent mostly languishing around the house and enjoying the leftovers from the day before. Kakashi joins her on a brief trip to a nearby temple, where Sakura buys them each a lucky charm. He raises a doubtful eyebrow at her as she hands him his, but quietly accepts the gifts and puts it in the front pocket of his vest.

Of course, the first visit to the temple of the new year isn't complete without a fortune telling for the coming year, so Sakura lines up to buy herself one of those as well, while Kakashi-sensei dutifully remains by her side, book in hand.

Once she's got her fortune Sakura steps aside from the mass of people, finding a calmer spot underneath a tree, where she carefully unfolds the little paper strip with her fortune. The words very bad luck to come stares ominously back at her.

"More bad luck?" she grouses to herself.

Kakashi-sensei makes a noise of worry and looks up from his book, reading the fortune over her shoulder.

"Family trouble, bad health and bad work," he summarises. "You hit the trifecta at that one. But hey, at least love is good." The last part is said with a teasing tone that has Sakura blushing immediately.

"Well, I'm certainly not bringing this with me back home," Sakura mutters, tying the fortune around the nearest tree branch.

"Want to try an ema instead?"

Sakura glances at the wooden plaques but shakes her head after a moment of consideration. What would she write on it anyway? What are her hopes and wishes for the new year? With a sinking sensation in her stomach, she realises that she doesn't know. She's always wished for good luck in school, for her mother's health and for Sasuke to notice her and finally fall madly in love with her.

"I'm good," she tells Kakashi-sensei quietly.

"You sure?"

She nods, and they head back towards the Hatake compound in companionable silence.

In just a couple of months, she'll have officially been a shinobi for a full year, Sakura thinks. Much has changed in that year. Her mother is gone. So is her relationship with the Haruno clan, her naive love of Sasuke and her childish dream of becoming both a lady and a shinobi.

On the other hand, she's grown a lot. She's learned to climb trees and walk on water, to channel chakra to make herself stronger and increase her endurance. She's fought and killed people. Saved people.

It's been a tough year, Sakura thinks, but there's been good parts too. Her friendship with Hajime, Tomomi, Aimi and Takeshi. The brief camaraderie of team 7 before things went sour, not to mention this new relationship with Kakashi-sensei. Her apprenticeship.

Anyway, the next year can't really be any worse, can it? That thought is, strangely enough, comforting.

After dinner, as she's helping Kakashi-sensei with the dishes, he tells her that he'll be going out.

"It's Gai's birthday," he tells her. "We usually have a couple of drinks together, if we're both in Konoha, but I shouldn't be too late."

"In other words you'll probably be home at three in the morning, right sensei?" Sakura smiles cheekily at him, remembering the many, many hours spent waiting for him while he's late.

"Hah. Really funny."

When Sakura wakes in the morning, she finds a note taped to her door asking her to please be quiet because Kakashi will be sleeping in. Having heard him arrive home quite late - as she had predicted, by the way - Sakura only smiles and tiptoes downstairs to make herself some breakfast, Gin in tow.

Feeding Gin, Sakura then eats her breakfast in silence, staring out the kitchen window. There's a restlessness in her, she realises. An itch to get out, to do something. She's not used to this prolonged relaxation and just lounging about, and although it has been nice with break she's now eager to get back to routines again.

With that in mind, Sakura decides to be a good apprentice and leave Kakashi-sensei to sleep in as long as he wants. She lets Gin out to explore the compound and sets out for a morning jog.

Despite everything, she finds running somewhat easier than before the trip to Okami Island, despite having recently lost some muscle mass. Running more or less all day, every day, for almost a week apparently does things to her leg muscles, even after another week of being bedridden.

That of course does not mean that the rest of her muscles agree any more with the exercise than before. Her chakra answers eagerly to her will, even as she forces it down until the only thing it's doing is keeping her from falling off of the wall. This in turn means that she has fewer slip ups and less opportunity to soothe her poor, aching muscles. Before the first lap is over, she's gritting her teeth in effort.

She takes a brief pause to breathe, considering the option of calling it a day already. It's tempting, but eventually she turns around and starts on her second lap. She thinks of avalanches and wolves and monster bears as she runs, and somehow it's enough motivation for her to complete the whole second lap.

Still panting, she then sits down on the nearest rooftop, wearily sinking into meditation. She hasn't tried meditating since she returned to the village and quite frankly she is nervous to try it. But her muscles are aching and she knows she can't avoid this forever.

Someone will come by sooner or later and find her if she doesn't wake up, she reasons with herself.

Her chakra answers immediately, automatically falling into the rhythm to keep herself warm. She experiments with that a little, altering the density until her chakra is a nice, softly cooling power within her. It feels nice but soon becomes less so in the cold morning air, so she instead focuses on soothing her muscles.

She peeks an eye open, taking note of the position of the sun and the fact that she is indeed able to do so to begin with. It is still early and Kakashi-sensei is unlikely to wake for another good while.

Meaning that there's no good reason for her not to continue her experimentations.

She should probably ask someone to supervise, she thinks. Or check with Kakashi-sensei, at least. Chakra meditation is dangerous, after all. She doesn't want to get caught in her own mind again.

But then, asking for help will mean having to share what she's attempting to do; share the suspicion that she's not alone in her own mind. How is she supposed to explain that and not get locked into T&I for the foreseeable future? Better then to try on her own, and see for herself first if she's really going insane or not.

Yeah, she decides. She'll do that.

She closes her eyes again, taking a deep, fortifying breath. Feeling foolish, she realises that she doesn't know how to do this. She'd been dying, back on the ice. Her only memory is that of the cold.

Frowning, she recalls the sensation of being very, very cold. Colder than she'd ever been in her entire life. And scared. Terrified, really.

With the absolute conviction that she was about to die, she'd focused all of her attention on her chakra - on keeping herself warm - knowing that it was the only chance she had at survival.

She starts there, focusing on her chakra and its slow, steady flow in her body.

Time passes. She adjusts her position slightly, scratching at her neck absentmindedly. Her chakra flows easily. Perfectly. Without the need for her whole attention, making her attempts somewhat like trying to focus entirely on paint drying on a wall.

Distantly, she senses other people and their chakra moving about, but that's not what she's trying to focus on right now! No, she's trying to focus on her own chakra. On how it flows easily through her body, in perfect harmony with the beating of her heart and her slow, even breath.

In.

And.

Out.

Again.

And.

Again.

The rooftop is hard and uncomfortable to sit on.

The air is starting to get cold and she shivers lightly in the wind.

"This isn't working," she mutters to herself, flopping over to lie on her back. Her eyes track a cloud above and she frowns at it, as if it is purposely hiding the answers she's seeking. What did she do back then to end up in that place? To find that other self?

"Maybe I just imagined it," she tells the cloud. "Maybe it was just a hallucination."

It's not unheard of to get those, when you are close to death, she remembers learning in the Academy. They hadn't really touched much at all on the subject of death, but Iruka-sensei had mentioned that in particularly dangerous situations some people saw their lives flashing by, while others might experience hallucinations.

At least that's one possible explanation, other than her being insane.

Eventually she grows chilly, sitting still in the cold air, and so she heads for the marketplace to see if any of the shops are open. Most are closed of course, being so close to New Year's, but some are open anyway. She treats herself to some sweets from an old man selling fresh dango, and afterwards she heads for Tanigawa Armory.

It's open, and she's halfway through the door when she notices that it's Tanigawa himself manning the counter. Abruptly, she recalls their last, horrifyingly embarrassing meeting. Her face heats up and for a moment she considers making an escape, but then he looks up and spots her. Which of course makes it impossible for her to run without also losing any semblance of dignity she might still have left. So she straightens her back and saunters over to the counter.

"What can I do for you?" he greets her, his voice polite yet warm and welcoming. There are no traces of the strange distance she recalls from the last time, nor of the teasing she's grown used to hearing from him.

Well, if he can pretend like nothing happened last time they saw each other, then she certainly won't stop him.

"I need new harnesses and weights." She gesticulates to show her bare wrists and ankles.

"Did you not like the other ones?" He gets up, heading for the corner with the weights and giving her a slight frown.

Sakura follows, swallowing. Suddenly, her mouth feels too dry.

"No, they were good. I just … lost them, sort of. On a mission."

"Oh. Well then, your sensei did open a line of credit for you, so I suppose that's fine."

He finds the appropriate harnesses and holds them up, helping her to put them on. His hands are gentle, fingers warm as they shift against her skin. Goosebumps rise on her arms and she has to resist the urge to say something stupid, like how nice his hair looks or … how good he smells … or …

"I fell through the ice on the ocean," she tells him, trying to distract herself from such strange thoughts. "Up north. By the Iron Highlands."

He glances at her before kneeling to attach the ankle harnesses.

"I, uh, got swept away by the currents. The weights pulled me down, and I guess I sort of panicked before I remembered how to take them off. And then I couldn't find the hole again, so I couldn't get up anyway and for a while I really thought I wasn't going to make it anyway and -"

She's rambling, she realises. And his hands have stopped, halfway through attaching her ankle harnesses. His large, yellow irises reflex the light of the lamps as he looks up at her, his mouth slightly agape. She snaps her own closed, cheeks heating again.

"Sorry," she tells him. "I didn't mean to … ramble."

"No worries."

There is a strange tone to his voice and his hands tremble a little as he finally returns to the task of attaching the weights.

"I'm glad you made it." He picks up a weight and adds it to the harness.

"Me too. Would have been kind of embarrassing to accidentally kill myself as well as the bear."

Her voice is higher than normal, the cheerfulness entirely too forced to be natural. She wishes for the floor to open up and swallow her, but Tanigawa smiles at her, even raising an eyebrow as if he's doubting her words.

"A bear? Don't they hibernate in winter?"

"Well, this one didn't, I suppose. Maybe the avalanche woke it up or something."

"Now I know you're trying to bamboozle me," he says, standing up again and reaching for the wrist weights. "Almost drowning, avalanches and a bear?"

"Well, I'm not making it up!"

"Sure you aren't!"

He flashes her a smile that plainly says he doesn't believe a word of what she's saying and she feels her cheeks grow impossibly hotter, though this time it's at least partly anger.

"I'm not lying!"

"Hey, I'm not complaining! Whether you lost them while almost drowning in the ocean or just misplaced them doesn't matter to me, as long as you come back to buy new ones."

Her hand forms into a fist and as soon as he is finished attaching the weight she pulls the arm to herself, glaring at him.

"Well, see if I'll return again with you being this rude!"

To her consternation he just laughs at her, already heading over to the counter again to ring her up.

"Anything else today or did you just come here to try and impress me?"

"I wasn't trying to impress you! I just needed new weights!"

"Sure, sure."

She glares at him for a couple of moments before swallowing her pride. "I need some new kunai too. And shuriken, exploding tags, a pouch and … well, pretty much everything."

He raises his eyebrow again but obligingly leads her to the display of kunai and shuriken, helping her pick out a couple of sets of everything she'll need: the requested kunai, shuriken and exploding tags, as well as ninja wire, smoke grenades, flash bombs, whetstone, fire steel and so on. By the time they return to the desk, Sakura has her arms full of stuff.

He rings her up before handing her a sheet of paper.

"Sign here, please."

She does, eager to get this done with so that she can leave the store at last. His patronising smile lingers in her mind long after.