The ticking of the clock was the only noise that filled the room, they both remained in tense silence for at least the last five minutes before she sighed deeply "…how about you tell me about your day?" Being met with silence, she sat up in her chair and leaned over "Buffy, please".
Buffy rolled her eyes "It was fine" she went back to picking at her nails, making it clear that she didn't want to be here. She didn't want to talk about it, talk about anything, all she wanted was to be left alone.
Jenny put down her notepad and smiled warmly "You don't have to be here… I might be doing this as a favour to Rupert but it's not an official session, you can walk right out that door if you want to" she saw Buffy's eyes linger at the door "They both care for you, that's why they suggested we talk?"
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Buffy choked down her feelings, she wanted to leave but she also didn't. She might not be ready to talk but Jenny had a comforting presence about her "Darla took me out for lunch… I uh, lasted halfway through before wanting to go home".
Twenty-four days. It had been twenty-four long days since she had stormed away from Crawford Street, twenty-four days since she chose to go through the park and twenty-four days since she was last able to feel safe. Since then, she could barely step outside without feeling terror, each time she tried, she felt herself begin to crumble.
She thought that she might have begun to mentally heal, when the lunch was suggested, the automatic fear didn't burn through her. It was only a dull ache, so she agreed to go out. Unfortunately, it was a delayed reaction before the anxiety and crippling fear floored her as she was taking a bite to eat.
The only reason she was here now was that Angel was sitting outside in his SUV, which made another wave of panic roll through her. He hadn't gone back to Law School, she wanted to urge him to go but couldn't bear the thought of him leaving her. Most nights she woke up screaming, reliving the ordeal and only felt safe when she felt his arms around her.
He was jeopardising his future, all because of her and it made her feel so guilty.
Jenny nodded "It may not feel like much but its good, you tried and done well, you don't have to rush Buffy. It takes time to heal, both physically and mentally" she saw Buffy's hand go up and cover her raw scar.
Touching over the wound, Buffy felt like she was going to cry again. By no means was she a superficial person but she had always been told what a pretty girl she was but ever since the attack, all she could notice was everyones eyes drawn to the sutures. She had gone back about 10 days ago to get them removed but now they looked at the obvious scar that was left.
She brought her hand back down to her lap and nodded, both Angel and Giles had similar conversations with her, she knew they were trying their best, wanting to be positive but she had argued with them before shutting down. When Giles floated the idea of speaking with one of his friends, she hadn't realised that Jenny was an actual psychologist.
Why she never connected the dots, she did not know, of course his friend would be a licensed psychologist, why else would they have suggested it? At first, she was so mad that they had almost tricked her into it, but Jenny wasn't so bad. What she expected was an all white, clinical, and uncaring setting but the office was like a homely living space.
Buffy got up from the seat and walked along the room, reading all the awards and degrees that Jenny had, she looked at the books and stopped at the desk, taking note of a photo. She picked it up and looked at it carefully, if was of Jenny and someone else, both snuggling up on the beach, facing away from the camera.
Squinting, she looked at the shirt, it was one of those silly pineapple prints shirts, one that she had ribbed a certain father figure over when he bought it. A small smile tugged at her lips; she held the photo out to Jenny with a knowing look "Giles?"
Jenny almost blushed, her and Giles had been friends for a long time but only in the past year they had begun what they had at this moment. She knew Giles was private and hadn't discussed this with his kids, so although she was acting as a professional, she was a friend and genuinely cared for Buffy, being privy to her history as it went.
She knew he was seeing someone and had ribbed him over it a few times, but G-man had kept quiet, not divulging who it was, and she respected that. Although this was the first proper conversation with Jenny, she approved. Jenny was warm and kind, perfect for Giles.
"Would it be okay, for me to maybe… come back next week?" Like Jenny said, it would take time and she might just get there. Slowly.
Jenny nodded "Of course Buffy, you can also call me any time" she scribbled her personal number onto her business card and handed it to Buffy. Once it was pocketed, Buffy thanked her and slipped through the door, waving as she left.
Once the door was closed, she leaned against it and closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath. She hated feeling like this, she wanted to overcome it but couldn't see through the haze. When she reopened her eyes, she saw Angel come up the hall, looking at her in question. Buffy shrugged "She seems nice".
Angel laced his fingers through hers and led her back outside to the parking lot "Will you see Jenny again?" He didn't want to rush this, but something had to give, the lack of sleep was affecting him, never mind what it would be doing to Buffy.
Once they were seated, she nodded "I asked if we could meet up next week" Angel smiled at her in response before pulling out into traffic. She looked out at the passing streets and sighed "Angel?" She could feel his dark eyes on her in question, she built up some courage before facing him "Snyder called… my art coursework is due soon, he said I can either wait or hand it in on time…"
They drove another stretch of road before he pulled into a parking lot nearby, sensing that this conversation required his full attention "Okay?" Thankfully most of her other classes were pretty much done, meaning she didn't have to go back to school just yet.
Buffy tapped her nails off her thigh "Once I'm done, I'll be done with school… and I was thinking that it might be best if you go back to Law School" she took a deep breath "and maybe I could go back with you?"
Angel watched as she tensed, she stayed so still but he could see her fingers shake with nerves. Although he had not returned as of yet, his professors were sympathetic and let him do some work from Sunnydale but upcoming finals meant he would need to go back soon.
He had thought of asking her but that would mean more travel to and fro, although Parkers father had tried to bail him, the mayor had dropped him as an aide, meaning he didn't have quite the same pull. Normally court cases take time but being a small town, with next to no crime, the case was being built and an appearance would be due soon.
Not only was Parker being charged with serious assault, but a lot of others had also come out in Buffy's defence about the bad shit he had done to them too, adding more to his rap sheet. Angel mulled it over, he didn't want to leave her, but would the travel be more stress than needed? "Buffy…"
She licked her bottom lip and faced him "I love you so much and I tried to think about you going away, but I can't" a tear rolled down her cheek as her tone became harsh "I need you and I hate it! It hurts me so much that I can't be by myself" she felt deep the rise and fall of her chest as she tried not to cry again.
Once again, her heartfelt confession made him feel like crying too, he used his thumb to wipe away another tear that fell and pressed a kiss to her forehead "We'll be flying backwards and forwards a lot, are you sure you want to add that to all this?"
Buffy twisted her mouth as she tried to stop crying, she wiped at her eyes and nodded "Yes, as long as I'm with you, then it doesn't matter" when he pulled her into a hug, she didn't hesitate to cling onto him and bury her head against his chest "Thank you".
Angel kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight. Without saying anything he let her go and put the car into drive, taking them home to Crawford Street. Buffy went straight up to his room and curled up on the bed, burrowing under the covers "Buffy?"
She didn't move as he came closer, he sat down beside her and stroked her arm, she forced a smile but barely looked at him "Tired" her heart fluttered uncomfortably, she was tired, but she could feel that prickly, sickly feeling coming over her. As much as he said that he was there for her, she hated him tacking the brunt of her emotions.
He could see how tense she was, the tightness in her voice, and knew she was full of shit. She was tired but this wasn't it, as she closed her eyes, he kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, curling around her, holding her close. He heard her stifle a sob but neither said a word.
Oooooooooooooooo
"Hey" Willow paused as she was reaching for a snack and frowned, Faith was standing a foot or so away, still dressed like a badass but she looked so uncomfortable "How is Buffy?" She quirked her eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest.
Faith clenched her fist, yeah, she had no right to ask, she had been a part of his crew but since the incident she had been interviewed by the cops and told them everything, even stuff that could implicate her and cause her all sorts of trouble. There had been rumours about school about Buffy, some plausible, and others, others she didn't want to think about.
Willow sighed and turned back to the row of snacks in front of her, she wanted to tell her to go away and be rude, but she didn't have it in her "Shes adjusting…" that was the only thing she could say, in the past few weeks she had only seen her once, most of their conversations were via text, thankfully Angel had been keeping her updated.
Somehow Angel had talked her into a movie night, so here she was at the store buying candy to take over there. Angel had said he would give them some space and remain close by, just incase Buffy panicked.
Faith nodded, she had been there, she had held Buffy after she had called the cops and had seen the gash over her face. For a fleeting moment Faith had panicked, thinking that it could have been her and sadly thankful that it hadn't been either "Oh…"
She didn't know what she wanted to say, she had never really spoke to Willow, at most she had made fun of her, and she couldn't take that back "I can't really say much but Parker won't get outta this easily".
Willow looked at her wearily but didn't reply, Faith hardened her glare before turning around and heading outside. After a pause Willow blew out a sigh, not realising that she had been tense due to being so close to Faith. She felt a little sick hearing his name and knew not to repeat it to Buffy, if it made her feel ill then what would it do to her friend.
Quickly grabbing a few more snacks, she hightailed it to the cashier and leapt into Oz's minivan. Oz gave her an even look to which she giggled nervously, she felt and looked flushed "It was nothing…" at another even look she sighed "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" The last thing she wanted was to go over there and be all sorts of upset.
Being as stoic as always, he nodded then drove towards Crawford Street. Once Oz dropped her off, she knocked softly on the door and was greeted by Angel, he showed her in and immediately left them alone. She sat the snacks down on the table and smiled "Hi, Buffy".
Buffy took a few calming breaths and smiled up at her "Willow" she was waiting for it, that grimace before the wall of even that she was accustomed to from others, but Willow only smiled wide and pulled her into a hug. Buffy held on tight and closed her eyes.
Willow reached into her backpack and pulled out two DVD's and shook them at Buffy "Rom-Com or Rom-Com" when Buffy grimaced, she let out a chuckle "Only kidding…" she threw them onto the table and pulled out another two "Vampires or Werewolves?"
Buffy shook her head and shrugged "Vampires" she took the disc from Willow and popped it into the DVD player hidden inside the unit. They both got comfy on the sofa with snacks in between, once Buffy relaxed, she smiled, she was grateful that Willow was such a good friend and that she was doing her best to help cheer her up.
"How are things going with Oz?" Buffy paused before carefully popping some candies into her mouth, afraid to get that dull ache from the healing tissue.
Willow nodded "He's good, the band have been lined up to play some spots across the state over summer… and he asked me to go with them" she smiled enough to look excited but then it faltered. When Buffy stared at her in question she sighed "I don't think I can go…"
This sounded like a fun summer, being able to travel and see new places with your honey sounded like a great plan, Willow had previously expressed wishes to travel before going to college, so why the downer? "Why?"
The brief look that Willow gave her made her stomach turn "No, don't stay here because of me… that's not fair on you".
Willow half shrugged "No, I don't mind staying, it's not like I'll be missing out on anything" she nodded strongly and grabbed a handful of popcorn.
Buffy sighed "Will…" after a pause she ran her fingers through her long her, before twining her fingers with Willows "I want you to go, don't worry about me" she blinked to get rid of the damp in her eyes "I'll be fine" she done her best to sound confident but the wobble in her voice gave it away.