Hello everyone, here is the next chapter
And before we start, I still need to do a trigger warning for suicide
Also for this chapter. The text that's in bold means it's Fishman speak. I decided to do this in English as it's important. The text with an underline is almost yelling, but not full out yelling
Hope you enjoy
Read and relax
Trevor gave a frown, feeling something was wrong, really wrong.
He didn't know what, but something felt really off, feeling something missing too. He couldn't pinpoint it, which really didn't sit well with him. He shared a look with Mika, asking if she felt if something was off to which she shook her head to, giving him a worried look. What could it be that made him feel like this? He didn't randomly feel like something was off, especially not now at night. As he was looking over the deck and thinking what had happened during the day, he realised when he had last felt this and what had happened today.
Ace had been way late for something he knew was an easy job, Dust being really worried and looking at him, but never moving to him. Ace told him he wanted to be alone, Trevor not seeing Ace after he returned, even though there was a meeting now, Dust having a bit of golden sand on him that was stuck but gone now.
There was only one place he knew Dust could get that, him feeling what was missing.
Ace was missing; his presence was barely here.
He sent a look at Mika, feeling horrified as he connected the dots, him seeing Mika understanding something was really wrong. Before she could say anything, he took off and ran to Ace's room, hoping he was wrong, banging the door open when he got to it. He then felt himself freeze at what he saw.
Ace was lying pale on the floor, breathing shallowly and a broken bottle next to him, Dust out on the bed.
He muttered a swear as he moved to Ace, grabbing his face and hoping for a reaction. "Ace! Wake up! Don't you dare do this to me! You are not going before me!" When he got no reaction, he felt himself panic and get scared, moving his head to Ace's, a hand on Ace's neck.
"Don't do this, please."
He didn't care that his voice broke at the end, feeling really relieved when he felt a pulse. It was a weak and sluggish one, but it was still a pulse. He looked to the floor and saw the shattered bottle, seeing the small package on the desk with the label he hated the most in the world. When he heard a small sound behind him, he turned and looked at Mika. "Get the doctor ready, now! Drug overdose, pills!" Mika gave a quick nod as she moved to run to the infirmary, readying the doctor.
As Mika went, he moved Ace to his side, head tilted down, and shoved two fingers down Ace's throat, feeling a bit relieved when Ace still had the reaction to throw up.
But, the relief was short-lived as barely anything came up, mostly bile and a bit of fluid, vodka. It meant it had moved past the stomach. He needed to hurry.
He quickly moved to stand up with Ace in his arms, running to the infirmary, glad to see a bed ready but the doctor not there. He gave a swear as the doctor was at the meeting. The head nurse, Whiskey, did seem prepared, having a stomach pump and other things ready. He had been through this way too many times. "What happened?" Trevor shook his head. "Overdose, intentionally, on drugs, pills. Stomach is empty." The woman gave a nod, still connecting the stomach pump, but changing the setting and connecting drugs to it, to hopefully absorb some of the drug that might still be in the stomach.
As it was set up, the door burst open and a nurse ran in with Bay, which was a huge relief. "Update!" Ordered the doctor as she moved to look over Ace's vitals, connecting the machines and not at all happy with the vitals. "Drug overdose on pills, and vodka, intentionally," said Trevor as he knew more than the others. "Stomach contents removed?" He gave a nod as he helped the doctor roll Ace over to his side to help the machine. "Tried to. Nothing left." "What kind of pills and vodka?" Trevor tried to think how strong it was based on smell. "Either 96 or 98 pure vodka. Lord knows what pills, made to really fuck one up." Bay looked at him. "You don't know what he took?" He shook his head. "I don't even think Ace knows what he took. Drug dealers who make their own things, strong."
Bay gave a swear. "Then I can't give anything to counter it directly; it can make things worse." He gave a nod, knowing that. He was sure that was one of the reasons Ace choose those drug dealers. It was hard to counter, almost impossible. He just hoped they were fast enough. The doctor quickly prepared something to hopefully help, to stop the body from taking up any kinds of drugs or anything. But, it also meant they couldn't give Ace anything in medications for a few days- nothing would work. As the doctor prepared that, he helped the head nurse, Whiskey, prepare oxygen for Ace, the best they could do with the pump down his throat.
After half an hour, they couldn't do anything more and could just hope for the best, hoping they would see signs of improvement. If Ace showed that, it would go fine. He knew these drug dealers and drugs. The drug would work for days and only get worse. If Ace got better, things would hopefully be fine, and it would mean Ace wouldn't die, not now at least.
After another half hour, Ace's pulse and oxygen went up, nowhere near where they should be, but a bit better. It meant they had made it, just in time. After 10 more minutes, the stomach pump was removed, no longer able to do anything as it had done its job. And, it meant they could place an oxygen mask on, which was much better.
Now, they just needed to wait and see how Ace was mentally. That was the worst. They also needed to explain to the pirates what had happened. He really didn't want to do that.
-x-
Whitebeard gave a frown as the doors to the meeting room burst open, there not even being a knock. Tifa was standing in the doorway, panting.
"Bay, we need you. Now!"
Exclaimed the nurse as she looked at Bay, who was already moving when she saw Tifa, understanding something was up, something serious. He had never had this happen before. He knew Whiskey was in the infirmary, and she could handle a lot, but this had to be really bad for her to get Bay like this. When they were gone, seeing as Tifa didn't stay to tell anything, it meant it was really serious too, but also that they didn't know what was going on. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, no attack or anything, it being a calm night. The only thing he could think of was if an accident had happened, or if Ace returned from his assignment in bad shape. He hoped both were wrong, hoping it was something that was a mistake and they needed Bay fast, but he knew that wasn't it.
He didn't have an answer when the commanders asked what was happening, telling they needed to wait until someone updated them and hoping that would happen fast. He didn't like this. He could see many looking worried, knowing it was bad since the doctor was fetched so hastily, almost panickingly. As he knew he couldn't do anything, knowing they shouldn't go to the infirmary and that they would be thrown out if it was anything, he tried to continue the meeting. It was almost finished before all this, but it would take time to finish since most were unfocused now. The rest of the meeting took an hour, and when it was finished, no one moved, knowing if anything was up, they would need to be here nonetheless.
When almost two hours had passed since Bay was fetched, the door opened and Trevor and Bay walked in, Trevor looking perturbed in a way, which had him believe it was about Ace. The others seemed to notice this too. "Trevor, are you okay?" Asked Izou carefully, noticing something was up. The captain was hoping the man was just lost in thought and would just brush it off. But, Trevor shook his head as he sat down, just motioning to Bay, who gave a sigh. This didn't sit well with him.
Bay looked at them. "We need to make a plan to have one, maybe two, commanders in the infirmary at all times for a few days." The captain gave a frown. "Why?" He had never had this happen, for her to ask something like this. There were only a few times they needed someone strong, both mentally and physically, often with haki, but not for days. The doctor gave a sigh.
"While it won't be as bad, it is to be sure. It's for a suicide watch."
The captain felt his insides grow cold. Someone in the family had tried to kill themselves. "W-who?" Thatch managed to get out, looking horrified; they all did. Who could be that unhappy to try that here? They made sure everyone was included.
"Ace did," Said Trevor, looking melancholy.
"What?" Said Marco, now sitting up more, looking really worried, everyone reacting the same way. Ace had tried to kill himself? "Ace tried to kill himself, overdosed on some kind of drug," Said Trevor. "Are you sure?" Started Izou, "I mean, that he tried to…" Trevor nodded. "Yeah. He knew how much he could take, he knew the vodka made it worse, he knew Dust would get help so he made him sleep. He knew what he was doing." Whitebeard felt himself close his eyes. If Ace knew all that and had made Dust sleep, he definitely knew what he was doing. "How is he, yoi?" Asked Marco, looking worried.
Bay gave a small sigh. "For now, stable. Trevor barely managed to get to him in time and act accordingly." No wonder Trevor looked melancholy, he had found Ace. Bay gave a sigh again. "I know this is something no one wanted to hear. But, we need to see how things go and how he is when he wakes, and until I am sure he is fine, he is now on suicide watch. Commanders, Pops, Mika, and Trevor can watch him, as well as myself or Whiskey, and if all are busy, Tifa. I suggest we keep it calm at the start, trying to stay with Trevor, Mika, Pops, or Marco, but this is not easy for a person to do." Whitebeard gave a nod, understanding that. He had no idea how to react to this.
For now, he agreed to what Bay said, also agreeing to lock the infirmary down for everyone, needing it for Ace. The only way someone else would be let into the infirmary now, was if someone was close to dying. Everything else would be treated outside of the infirmary. Even all the nurses- aside from Tifa and Whiskey- would also not be allowed in. Wanting to keep this as silent as long as they could, for Ace's sake, which he agreed too. Ace didn't need all that attention and worry from everyone, not now. He wouldn't tell the others what was happening, asking the commanders to do the same. They would take that later, when Ace was hopefully better.
He used a bit of time to calm everyone down, Bay and Trevor leaving as he did. He didn't know much himself, and would need to figure out how to handle this. He still didn't understand Ace had tried to kill himself. How had they not noticed Ace was that down? He gave a small sigh inside himself. No reason to think of that now. Right now, they needed to handle to help Ace.
After telling everyone to not tell anyone again, and to listen to Bay and Trevor, everyone calmed down and tried to figure other things out. Mostly who should help watch Ace, which none wanted to speak about. It made him decide they would take it as time came. Right now, they needed to stay calm and figure more out. It didn't seem like Trevor even knew much. Everyone agreed and things were calming down, Marco still looking shocked, thinking. He would be sure to watch the first commander, to see how he would handle this.
As he was sure everyone understood what they would do now, he headed out of the meeting room and to the infirmary, Marco next to him, looking worried.
When they came to the infirmary, they walked to the curtains that was half-drawn around a bed, seeing Trevor sitting in a chair next to Ace, who was asleep- or passed out most likely- he wasn't too surprised by that seeing as he had overdosed on some drug. He had to close his eyes at that thought, not wanting to think about it, but knew he needed too. He needed to handle the fact Ace had tried to kill himself.
He sat down in a chair next to Marco, who looked worried and concerned for Ace. The kid was connected to different machines, beeping slowly, and a few other things, like fluid. He was sure Bay knew what everything was, the doctor checking on something on a machine, stoic.
They needed to figure out what to do.
-x-
Marco sat and waited for Ace to wake up, hoping he would soon. He still had no idea how to handle this, no idea what to even think. How should he react to Ace trying to kill himself? There was no way to react. He just hoped Ace would wake up so he could see Ace was fine.
Bay was still close, him being told either she or Whiskey would be, maybe Tifa if something happened. There would always be a commander here in case, but Trevor, Mika, and Pops could go too. They needed to be in case something happened or Ace did something, which he hoped wouldn't happen. He wanted Ace to be okay. Pops and Trevor was also in the room, sitting beside him, visits limited for now, seeing as they shouldn't overwhelm Ace now, which he got. They still hadn't told anyone of the rest about this, and to be frank, Marco wasn't sure if they should tell everyone Ace had just tried to kill himself. He needed to ask Trevor and Pops about it later.
Right now, they were sitting in silence and waiting, the slow beeping of the machines being the only sounds now. As he was trying to relax, glad Pops was here with him, he heard the machine change a bit, but he saw no reaction on Ace, so he just took it as the vitals changing. It happened before one woke up, and Bay hadn't reacted to it, so he guessed it was fine. After a few seconds, Trevor gave a sigh. "I know you're awake, Ace." As Trevor said it, he saw Ace nodding his head a bit, arm moving to lay on the pillow above his head, not moving more. Trevor gave a loud sigh, hand moving on his face. "I swear Ace! Do you have any idea how close you actually got to dying?! Why the fuck did you decide that was a good idea?! What di-"
Trevor cut off as Ace moved to lift himself on his arm, looking at Trevor with tears in his eyes and looking distressed.
"Please, Trevor. Can you not yell, not now," Ace said in a distressed voice, tears starting to go down his face. "I know I fucked up, but can you not yell at me right now. Just wait until I don't hate myself. Please."
As Ace had said that, he moved his face down in the pillow again, sounding to be half-sobbing based on his breath, seeming to be so distressed he couldn't do more. Marco saw Trevor nodding, moving to sit on the bed, hand moving to Ace's head and stroking his head. "I'm still mad, but I'm not heartless." Ace gave a small nod, still sounding really distressed, making Marco have no idea what to do. Trevor gave a breath, having teary eyes himself, moving his head to Ace's, eyes closing as he moved his hand through Ace's hair. "Please don't do this to me again. I'm so glad you're okay, Ace. I was so worried. I'm so relieved you're fine." Ace didn't react to that, seeming to try and calm himself down, but not able to do it, body moving shakily with every breath. Marco felt lost at what he should do. He didn't know how to handle this.
It was quiet after that, Ace's breathing being the only sound before it too calmed down- same with the machines- Ace falling asleep again based on them. Trevor still stayed in Ace's bed after it, hand still on Ace's head. After half an hour, Mika came into the room making Trevor sit up and look at her, looking normal, maybe just having a bit of emotion in his eyes. How he was able to be as calm was something Marco didn't understand, which made him get the thought that this might not be the first time. He really hoped he was wrong about that, but he would ask Trevor about it later.
Mika gave a small sigh, placing a Den Den Mushi on the bed. "Told Daisuke about the situation; he can't come by for some days, unfortunately. But, he will talk with him, which will hopefully help. How is he?" Trevor gave a sigh, hand moving to his face as he shook it. "Not sure yet. The drug's still messing with him. He won't be awake much the next 24 hours I guess." Mika gave a nod. "Was it Virus and Trip?" Trevor gave a nod, which had Marco frown. "What does that mean, yoi?" Maybe that was the drug. They could do something of they knew what it was.
Trevor gave a sigh. "Virus and Trip are big shot drug dealers- they're everywhere it feels like, and they can hide well. They make their own drugs, new and stronger each time. What they use often works for days, so an overdose is just worse. He won't do much today, maybe tomorrow either, since his mind is still groggy and drugged."
Marco gave a nod. He should have realised Ace wouldn't have taken a normal drug, Ace knew where to get things like this. As he was about to ask if they had a way to find out what the drug might be, Trevor gave a sigh as he stood up. "I'll go check if there's any hint of that he took and just prepare for the next few days." Marco gave a nod as Trevor and Mika left, understanding what the man meant. He had a feeling Trevor would be around Ace a lot, knowing more about Ace than them and knowing how to act. He would ask Trevor about it later, if he could tell anything on how they should act for all of this. He would let Trevor relax a bit first, being sure this was hard for him. He had been the one to find Ace after all.
Nothing much happened after that. Bay did a small check on Ace now and then, nothing changing. After two hours had passed, Ace seemed to wake a bit, but he didn't say or do anything, just moving himself a bit and dragging the covers over his head too before falling asleep again it looked like. They just let him be for now, sure Ace wouldn't want to talk about things now, just going to let him relax for a while. For now, they would make sure Ace was okay and not getting worse and take things when he was better.
When it was closing in on midnight, Bay said they should go and get sleep too. She was sure the next day would be hard from what Trevor had told her and what he had said before he left. While it was good to have them here, they were the ones who really should be here when Ace starts getting better tomorrow and needed to be awake and have some sleep. While Marco didn't want to leave, he got it and had to agree it was a good idea, which had him leave, making sure that if anything happened, he would be called. Bay said she would be available for the night, and Whiskey would be awake for the night, having slept now.
Pops asked Namur to be the commander who stayed for the night, which the fishman of course agreed to, wanting to help. They told him to let Ace be for the most part, but if he wanted to talk, to talk and try and help, but not start anything now, telling Ace would most likely be asleep for the most part, the drugs still being in his system and would still for a bit.
After making sure all that was in place, Marco headed to his room, going to try and get some sleep. He had no idea what to do, no idea how to react, just feeling lost.
He hoped things would be fine.
-x-
Namur sat and read a book, doing his best to relax. He did send a look at the shape under the covers now and then. But, nothing happened or moved, Ace either asleep or not wanting to move, not that he would keep the other from either. He was still shocked about this, that the kid had tried to kill himself, getting close to doing so from what he gathered. It was only a miracle Trevor managed to understand what was happening, and Namur hoped everything would be fine, but he knew it would take time. Bay had checked on the machines Ace was hooked to, not wanting to bother Ace for now, and things looked fine from what she said, looking to get better.
After he had been in the infirmary for almost 3 hours, he heard something sounding like a Den Den Mushi ringing, which had him confused, before he remembered Pops mentioning Ace got one in case someone- Daisuke if he remembered- called. He was thinking of carefully taking the Den Den and saying Ace was asleep, to let Ace relax, when it was answered by Ace. Ace was awake and just didn't want to move, which was fine. Ace made a small sound as he answered it, like a small "what?" of sorts.
"Hey, how are you?" Started what Namur was sure was Daisuke. "Awful," Ace answered in a mix of tired, weak, and hoarse voice. "How are things there?" Daisuke gave a sigh. "Okay, a lot of things to do since Moira's away. Raiden's coming over to help." He heard Ace give a small hum, and before Ace could most likely say anything to that, Daisuke continued. "Ace, I know you don't want to, but you need to talk about the fact you just tried to kill yourself." Namur understood Ace didn't want to talk about it, and he was sure Ace didn't want him to overhear, but the other knew someone would be here, so he wouldn't tell anything Ace didn't want others to overhear.
(AN: So, Bold is fishmen since it important and going to translate is not fitting. Namur don't know every word in fishmen, so one or two is in Spanish(Translation in parenthesis) as he doesn't know what it is)
"I don't know what to tell." Namur felt himself frown. Why did Ace suddenly speak fishman? Ace didn't know it was him that was here, and he was speaking to Daisuke.
He heard Daisuke give a sigh. "I know what happened on the trabajo(assignment) since Raiden told, so we can skip that. But, let's take a few steps back. Why did you think trying to commit suicide was a good idea?" Daisuke spoke too? Why did they do this now? "It felt like the best choice, to just not have to deal with anything. I don't get why I try to fix a this fucked up world anymore." "Okay," Started Daisuke, "Are you glad Trevor found you? Are you glad you're still alive?" He heard Ace give a sniff. "I don't know." This sounded like Ace was close to crying, trying to keep from it.
Oh lord, Namur got why they spoke Fishman now.
Ace didn't want the one being here to know what he spoke about. He didn't want them to hear this. Ace knew Trevor nor Mika were here, who most likely knew fishman too, but Ace didn't know it was him here apparently. He didn't want to listen to this since Ace clearly didn't want that, therefore talking in Fishman, but he couldn't leave. He didn't want to tell it was him here either, he didn't want to keep Ace from speaking to Daisuke. He didn't want stop Ace from talking and would not say anything, and he wouldn't tell anyone about this.
He heard Ace taking a shaky breath. "I don't know what to feel. Everything hurts- light, sound, movement- everything. I feel terrible and hate myself." The machines reacted to Ace's emotional state, the color going red a few times, giving a few more beeps, which had Bay's attention. But, a look from him had her stay a bit away, not wanting to disturb this moment for Ace and Daisuke. Bay seemed to understand she shouldn't go to them now, and stayed a bit away, keeping an eye on the bed.
"Do you know what you took?" Asked Daisuke. "If you know, you can get pain medication, if not, you can't. You know this." He heard a sniff from the bed again. "...I don't know. I asked for something strong, something that would fuck me up. And, I got that." Daisuke gave a sigh. "How much did you take? Compared from what you should have." Would Ace know how much he could take? He didn't know what he had taken. Maybe he didn't completely know it would kill him. "Half a pill… I took 3…" Namur closed his eyes. That meant Ace knew exactly what he was doing. Daisuke gave a sigh. "Try and relax, Ace. I'll try and get things here under control, and when they are, I'll come over. Try and speak to the ones that are there."
He heard Ace sniff and give a mix of a sob and laugh. "Trevor yelled at me…" "No, Ace, no," Started Daisuke, sounding serious, "Trevor's worried, not mad. This is not easy on him either." Ace gave a sniff again. "He's not here either… I've barely seen him…" Daisuke gave a sigh. "He probably didn't expect you to be awake now. I didn't either, actually. I'm sure he'll be there when day comes. I'll try calling later. Relax now, Ace." Another sniff was heard. "Okay. Bye." Daisuke gave a bye himself, and he heard the Den Den being hung up before things were quiet, just the small sniff now and then, before it too disappeared, machines calming down completely.
When Bay checked on Ace a bit after that, Ace was asleep, him seeing tear tracks on his face when Bay wanted to see how he looked, not too happy with what a machine said. But, it was fine after checking on him and sure he was asleep. As he was sure Ace was fine and asleep, he asked if he could go for the night, the conversation he heard really weighing down on him. He would get someone to come and be here instead of him. Bay nodded to it, placing herself in a chair while he was getting someone else. Before he left, he told Bay that Ace felt things hurt, like light and sound, Bay not seeming surprised, but unable to give anything. He didn't tell more, not wanting to tell what he had overheard.
When he got out of the infirmary, he took a breath before he went and asked Rakuyo to take over, which he did. Before Namur went to his room to try and relax, to try and calm himself down after what he overheard, he went to Trevor's door and knocked on his door. When the assassin opened, he started speaking before the other could. "I think Ace needs you to be with him." Trevor frowned at that. "Why? Did he say that?" Namur gave a sigh. "No. But Daisuke called. They tried to keep me from overhearing by speaking Fishman, but... yeah." Trevor gave a nod. "I get it. I won't ask you to tell. I was going to call Daisuke myself later, but I can do it now and then go to Ace." Namur nodded, that sounding the best. After giving a goodbye to Trevor, he left for his room, going to talk with Pops tomorrow, needing that.
He hoped things would be fine soon, that Ace would be happy that he was alive.
-x-
Trevor moved a hand to his face, hearing what Daisuke said. He had borrowed the Den Den Mushi on the ship since Ace had his, and gave a call to the man, knowing he was awake since he had spoken to Ace as the fishman overheard, who he saw was upset.
He knew Ace wasn't in the best place, but he had hoped he was happy Trevor had managed to get to him, but he didn't know. And, Ace was sure he didn't like him, not handling the fact he had yelled or not been there now. Trevor had lost his emotions a bit back then, but he didn't expect Ace to react badly to it. He felt horrible now. He hadn't meant to make things worse.
"I'll go be with him, to tell that I'm not mad," He said, needing to take a few deep breaths, feeling tears in his eyes. He hadn't meant for Ace to think he was mad at him, that he didn't care. "Trevor," Started Daisuke, "I can hear that you are close to breaking. Relax for a bit, don't stress yourself too much, Ace will understand." He felt himself give a small sarcastic laugh, feeling a tear go down his cheek. He had hoped he would never have to deal with this again. "You mean the kid who thinks I hate him? Fuck, I thought we were past this! I hoped I wouldn't need to deal with this again! I'm not sure if I can."
The Den Den gave a sigh. "You can, Trevor. You're just overwhelmed right now. Take a break, explain to the others what they can do, so you don't need to do everything. I will be there as fast as I can. Hopefully, I can leave in a few days." Trevor gave a nod, trying to keep himself gathered. "Yeah. I'll speak to you later." The Den Den nodded. "We will. Take care." Then the Den Den went back to sleep, and Trevor moved his hand to his eyes to stop the tears that fell, trying to be able to handle this. He hadn't thought he would affect Ace this much by losing his temper a bit; Ace was obviously hurt that Trevor had yelled and not been there.
After a minute, he heard the door open and didn't need to look to know who it was. At first, he was thinking of trying to gather himself, but just decided not to, knowing he wouldn't be able too. He felt a big hand come to his back. "How are you holding up, Trevor?" Asked the captain in a calm and worried tone. Trevor just shook his head, moving his hand to his forehead, looking up to try and calm himself. "As well as one would expect." He closed his eyes and took a few breaths. "I hoped I wouldn't deal with this again. Daisuke's coming by later, he's better at this than me." The man would be here in a few days- Fuck no, he wouldn't be here for a week. He would leave in a few. He wished the man was here.
He felt the hand on his back move comfortingly. "Has this happened before?" Trevor nodded, keeping his eyes closed. The captain deserved to know. "Yeah. About 3 times. It's just as horrible each time." He wasn't ready to lose Ace, he never wanted to do that. This was one of the closest times up until now. "Fuck," He got out as he moved his hand to the table leaning on it as he felt more tears and a small sob come. He never wants to lose Ace, and Ace now thought he was mad at him, thinking he didn't want to be there. It was so far from the truth as it could get.
He felt the hand on his back move comfortingly, which felt good now. "It's okay," Started the captain, "Just let it out. You can be hurt by this too." He gave a nod, trying a bit to keep himself gathered, but also not. He knew he should get it out, it would be the best. He gave another half-sob as the captain comforted him, needing this now.
Trevor hoped things would be fine somehow.
-x-
Whitebeard sat and did his best to comfort Trevor, sad to see how much this was affecting everyone. He was at a loss on what to do with all of this, and had hoped to maybe speak to Trevor a bit, knowing the man was speaking to Daisuke about this, on what they should do. But, Trevor was obviously not in shape to do that right now. He would hope to speak to Trevor later, maybe have a meeting with a few of the others together, to figure out what to do, how bad this was, how bad Ace was right now.
He stayed in the room for a while, even a bit after Trevor had gathered himself and left, most likely heading to Ace, leaving him to try and figure out what to do. He also needed to figure out what to tell everyone. They would figure out something was wrong as the infirmary was off limits for everyone aside from commanders right now. He hoped none would figure out why, at least not yet. The captain didn't know how to handle all this right now and would take it bit by bit.
After an hour after Trevor left, the captain stood up, going to go and see how Ace was, hoping the kid was maybe awake. He knew it was late, but Ace usually was up at night. But, then again, the drug might mess with him. He would see what to do as this unfolded. He didn't know right now.
Whitebeard walked to the door to the infirmary, hoping Ace was up more, Trevor most likely being there still. He hoped Ace was better. Marco and Thatch were beside him, Thatch having a bit of food with him. Ace hadn't eaten much now, and guessed he wouldn't for a bit. He hoped it was because of the drug, and not something else. He was sure things were better. As he was about to open the door to the infirmary, he frowned a bit as he thought he heard yelling. Why would there be yelling from the infirmary? Marco seemed to hear it himself, maybe even making out what was being said based on his expression, which didn't sit well with him.
When he opened the door, doing it a bit carefully, he saw Ace leaning on his arms in his bed, half lying and sitting up, tears going down his face, looking to Trevor who was standing a bit away from the bed Ace was in, breathing hard as he was yelling. "- need to realise you are not alone! You can't go and do this to us! You need to think! Why do you have to be so stupid and selfish!" It seemed like Trevor has reached the end of his patience, and Whitebeard was about to step in when Ace yelled back, neither noticing them. "I am! I am thinking of everyone else! Why do you think I try to kill myself?! It's to rid of all the trouble and pain I cause!" Whitebeard didn't like what was happening, but didn't know what to do. "Do you think it will just disappear?!" Started Trevor, hands moving angrily. "If you kill yourself, you won't take away the pain! You will just force it upon someone else! We need you here!"
"WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE?! CAN'T YOU REALISE I DON'T WANT TO LIVE?!" Yelled Ace back, and it had everyone freeze, even Trevor not retorting, just panting as he took the words in.
Ace didn't want to live. He didn't want to be here. That sentence made this so much more hard, more true.
Trevor looked to be on his way to speak, swallowing, but Ace continued before the other could, speaking in a lower voice, a sincere and broken voice. "I know I can't just disappear; I would have done that a long time ago. But, I can't live like this! I just can't! And I need you to realise that. I can't anymore. I just can't."
Ace's voice broke halfway through the sentences, making it all the more sincere. He could see Marco having issues listening to this, being frozen and having blank eyes. Thatch was standing frozen in shock, looking like he didn't know what to do. It was just horrible to listen to Ace being so defeated. Whitebeard saw Trevor shaking his head, eyes starting to go blank and a stray tear making its way down. "Then don't." Trevor started to move closer to Ace. "You don't need to live like this. You choose it. You don't need to face this alone, you don't need to be alone! Just speak to someone! To Daisuke, to Raiden, to Hanzo, to Whitebeard, to Marco, to me!" Trevor crouched a bit down next to the bed, hand grabbing Ace's. "Just please speak to me. I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you. Not like this. Please."
Trevor took a few deep breaths, on his way to continue, but before he could, Whitebeard moved a hand and took Thatch and Marco out of the infirmary, understanding Ace and Trevor needed this, to speak about everything, to speak about this, which he hoped they would. And, the captain knew he couldn't do that right now, not even prepared for Ace to really feel that way, and he could see the two commanders feeling the same, both joining him in his room, most likely needing to gather themselves. He could see Thatch being shocked, most likely not realising it was this bad. Marco was trying to comprehend it, a hand on his face as he had tears in his eyes, seeming to be in deep thought and full of worry.
Whitebeard moved his hand to be behind Marco's back, comforting the other a bit, same with Thatch, none of them speaking right now, understanding they didn't need that now, but to just take this in and then figure out what to do.
After a few hours, it closing in on morning, being more gathered, especially the first commander, they headed out on deck, going to use a bit out to hopefully not make others realise something was wrong right now, not wanting and knowing how to handle that right now. He knew a few had realised the infirmary was off limits, and that a few had asked about Ace and was concerned when they couldn't speak to him. Most knew Ace were back, seeing as Dust was back. Speaking of which, the bird didn't seem to be out now, and wondered mildly where Dust was, but figure the bird might be with Ace.
But, after another hour, closing in on 7 in the morning, the captain noticed Dust landing on the railing, having flown it looked like, some kind of bag in his beak, looking to be full. As he noticed it, Mika grabbed the bag and gave a pet and thanks to the bird, before starting to move towards the infirmary it looked like. "Mika," He started, getting the woman's attention. "What's that?" The woman gave a hum mixed with a chuckle. "It's food. Trevor asked me to get it for Ace, sure he would love this. Hasn't had it in a long time." That had the captain wondering what it might be, and also thinking things were better between Ace and Trevor. He would try and see how things were with them later, going to be outside for a small bit. He wanted to go and check on Ace, but knew he also should be outside; he could be in the infirmary later.
But, just because he needed to be out, didn't mean the others needed to. He gave a look to his left and used his hand to nudge Marco after the woman, the first commander taking the hint and following Mika, seeing Thatch also doing it. The two needed to see Ace was fine, and he was sure Marco would update him.
He hoped things would be fine. It would just take a bit of time.
-x-
Trevor gave a small breath, looking at Ace who sat a couple feet away from him, Trevor leaning against the wall and Ace against the bed.
He still wasn't completely sure how this happened, how they both ended up on the floor. He knew he had just gotten a bit fed up after he and Ace had argued a bit again, and decided to just sit down, Ace apparently joining him. Mika had for a small bit, but was gone now after he sent her away to Dust. He could clearly see Ace was in pain, both physically and mentally, the drugs still messing with his body and mind, but most of the mental pain wasn't from the drug.
He needed to deal with this somehow, but he should maybe wait until Ace was better, when the drugs wasat least out of his body. He would still be on suicide watch for a bit, knowing how Ace was. He had been through this before. Things was at least calm now. Ace still had tears going down his face, but didn't seem to care, maybe not even noticing it. Whether it was because of his mental or physical state, he had no idea. Ace just looked exhausted right now, and he knew Bay wasn't the happiest about his state right now, having checked up, or tried to, an hour prior, but a look from him had her leave for now, still arguing with Ace at that time. The doctor seemed reluctant to interfere at that time. The doctor had turned the light a bit down a few minutes ago, seeming to lessen some pain for Ace. Trevor was sure the other's body and head was really hurting and aching, everything being on edge because of the drug. He really wished he could give something for it. He hated to see Ace in pain like this.
As he was sitting and relaxing, the door opened and Mika came back in, holding a bag she showed to him, making him smile. He was a bit worried that Ace didn't even seem to notice the other. This couldn't just be Ace, this had be the drug too. Ace would notice someone walking in. Just what had Ace taken? He needed to try and figure it out later, see if someone could drop by those two twins, hoping to find them. But, those drug dealers hid way too well when they didn't want to be found.
Trevor suppressed a small sigh as he saw the first and fourth commander walking in after Mika. They probably realised Ace was awake since Mika was walking here. He was sure Ace didn't want them to see him like this, but damn, he had brought this upon himself. And, to be honest, Trevor didn't want to throw them out. They had a right to be here too. But, he would be sure they didn't stay long. He was sure Ace couldn't handle that right now. The same with the commanders. This was hard to deal with.
When Mika was on the other side of the bed, Ace first now noticing her- but not seeming to care- the woman handed the bag to him, Trevor having a smile as he opened it and gave one of the small boxes to Ace. "Here." Ace had a frown as he took the box, opening it and then giving a small snort, having something barely representing a smile. "The shittiest food ever." Ace's voice was still bad now, the screaming from before not helping. Trevor gave a not at it, opening another small box, containing the same food. "Yeah. Needed something to eat. No matter how bad." Ace gave a nod at that too, starting to slowly eat a bit with a plastic spoon. Well, Ace at least ate. That was something.
Mika took a seat in Ace's bed, not speaking more, the same did the two commanders, releasing speaking wasn't a thing right now, to just let things be calm for now.
"Why are you eating it if it's bad? I could make something much better." Well, almost all of them realised they should be silent, the chef just being a bit oblivious. "Because it's supposed to taste bad," Answered Ace, not even seeming to know who he answered, not moving his head as he ate. Damn, he looked lost and in pain. He couldn't wait until the drug was out of his system.
He looked up at the chef as he took a bite out of his food. "Because it's supposed to taste like absolute shite."- He did not say shite to get the small smile from Ace, knowing the other liked it when he did- "It's always been like this and will be. Not even real meat." He could see the chef looking confused, which had him casually explain to not bother Ace too much, telling how it was from an island not far away- many did make it, but most hated it- but they had eaten it for long and it was supposed to be bad. The chef did seem to understand it, at least somewhat. He could explain more later. Mika had a smile as she agreed. They all liked this awful one the best.
Ace didn't speak, seeming to try and focus on eating. He could see the two commanders, especially the first commander, being worried about Ace, especially seeing he still had tears going down his face. Trevor was convinced Ace didn't realise it. He really needed to figure out a way to find out what Ace had taken so he could get some pain relief. Daisuke had said Ace was in a lot of pain, that Ace had said everything hurt. It had to be really bad for him to admit it. He could see the chef wanting to comment on it or ask Ace if he was fine when he looked at Ace, but a look from him had him nod and stay silent. Right now, silence was best.
After a small while, Ace slowly stopped eating, before he handed the box to him, seeing Ace had eaten maybe a third. He knew Ace loved this food and would usually eat until he almost puked, but right now, Ace was not in the best shape. "I'll save it for you." Ace gave a small nod to it, before leaning back against the bed, seeming tired. He closed the box and handed it to Thatch, sure the chef could keep it until Ace wanted it.
As he was about to try and maybe start a conversation with Ace, the kid suddenly fell to the side, Trevor barely managing to catch him before he hit the floor. Leaning against the bed thankfully slowed his fall.
He could see the two commanders being worried, which made him just shake his head. "He's not in the best shape, and the drugs is still messing with him. It will hopefully pass in a few days." The two nodded, seeming to understand it. They moved away from the bed, making him able to place Ace in it, connecting him to the machines again, Trevor speaking as he did. "Ace will be out and a bit not himself for a bit; it's because of the drug. But, try and be close to him, don't act like you walk on glass around him; he won't like that. Be close to him- hug him, yell at him, sit with him, laugh with him, cry with him- I don't care, just be with him." When he had done that, he looked at the two commanders. "Now. You should go get some sleep, at least a bit." He could see Marco on his way to protest, which had him continue. "I will at least, and Ace won't be up for a few hours. Come back later." He then turned and got Bay out of her office, just giving her a look at the look she gave him, not glad he had made her go away earlier. She didn't want to deal with the doctor now. She did seem to understand it.
He then turned and headed out of the infirmary, glad to see the others had already understanding Ace needed the rest. They could be with Ace later, right now, Ace really needed to relax.
Mika joined him to his room, Trevor needing someone to just be with and speak with, the woman understanding that.
He hoped things would be fine somehow.
-x-
Marco walked into the infirmary, hoping Ace was better and maybe awake now. He had been able to get almost 3 hours of sleep, lying awake for a couple hours too. He had taken a small visit to Pops', updating him what had happened earlier when he got to the infirmary. Ace really seemed out of it then. He hoped Ace was awake now. He hoped to speak to the other as he hadn't managed that. He wanted to tell Ace how much he loved him, how glad he was thatAce was fine, just to be sure the other was fine.
When he got to the curtains shielding Ace from the infirmary, he saw Bay sitting close to the bed, Trevor asleep in a chair not too far away. The man apparently coming back to be with Ace. When he took a few more steps, Bay gave him a nod as she stood up, heading to her things, but staying in view of them. Ace was lying on his stomach he believed, under the covers which were dragged over his entire form, his right hand being the only thing out of the covers, and it rested on top of the pillow. He did think of taking the chair Bay had used, but when he heard a small sniff from the bed, he remembered what Trevor had said and decided to try it out.
He walked to the bed and carefully moved to sit and lie down, going under the covers to Ace. Ace didn't move much when he joined him, head down in the pillow. Even when he let the covers rest back on top of them, they still had a tiny bit of light through it, barely enough to see the shape of Ace. He moved his hand to Ace's back, stroking. "Hey, are you feeling okay, yoi?" He asked in a low voice, not wanting to disturb all the peace here, seeing as Ace was, in a way, hiding under the covers. Ace gave a small sniff as he shook his head. Marco moved his hand to Ace's head. "Do you feel better?" Ace gave a small nod to that, which was good, Marco glad he felt better. It was obvious Ace wasn't fine, and he wasn't trying to pretend to be fine either.
He kept his hand on Ace's head, relaxing and hoping Ace would be fine. After a bit, he noticed Ace moving a bit, moving closer to him and giving a small sniff again. "I'm sorry," Muttered Ace in the weak voice still, hand moving to hold onto his shirt. He shook his head a bit, moving his hand through Ace's hair. "It'll be fine, yoi. You will be fine. I'm glad you're fine, that you're still here." Ace didn't say anything to it, just moving a bit closer and giving another small sniff.
Marco kept his hand on Ace's head, stroking as he did his best to comfort Ace in silence, knowing Ace still wanted things to be quiet, but he didn't seem to mind this, which made him happy.
Marco hoped Ace would be fine and would do his best to make that possible.
And that's the chapter, hope you enjoyed
You know how I said the next chapter would be long? Well, I failed. But, the next few chapters will be about this and just a lot of everything. to piece it a bit up to make me able to not stress too much with things
If you have time, I greatly appreciate feedback
Beta note: our dear author here is quite a heart stabber today
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