Chapter - Unexpected Epiphanies
Eric
"You still going to try and talk to Andrew after the meeting?" Zach asks as soon as Chase and Kat are out of the door.
"I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do at this point. Part of me wants to just so I can demand how the fuck he could let any of that shit happen to her. Not to mention all this new crap."
He nods and finishes loading the last bit of dishes into the washer. I'm still standing by the table in the same spot I was in when Kat walked away. It's taking everything in me not to follow her.
"I know, that's why I'm asking. Look, I've been thinking about things since she came here. I worried about those reports Erudite put out so I've been watching Kat and her sister closely, trying to see if I can detect any kind of signs that would point to them being true. And I can say that I don't see any of the normal signs abused children have."
"Don't try and play this off as my hatred for Abnegation. You can't tell me something isn't up with her, Zach." I snap out and glare at him.
"I'm not, Eric. But the more time I spend with her, and the more she opens up to me, I'm seeing a pattern. I agree that something is going on with her and I think that she's been very good about hiding it until now. I get this feeling that Kat is prone to taking problems all on her own and not wanting anyone else to help because she's afraid of what might happen to them. I think she might have gone out of her way to do that with her family."
He patiently waits for me to process this while I sit stewing in anger and frustration but I can see the reason in his words. While I haven't had as much time with her as they have, and not nearly the conversations Zach's had alone with Kat, I feel like I know her enough to know that is exactly something she would do.
"Fine," I sigh out. "I'll approach him, like we talked about, but if I see an opportunity to get more information out of him or address this, I'm going to Zach."
"Good. I'm going to head out to my office and then be off to Candor. Good luck,"
He doesn't wait for me to respond before I hear the door closing and I'm scowling after him, wondering why those two are always wishing me luck in situations where what I really need is a fucking miracle.
I mentally congratulate myself for not going directly after Kat and Chase until I realize the only reason for that was because I had to take the time to get my shit together. Nothing could be done about the circles under my eyes from no sleep but everything else could be set straight. I might have been dressed for the day but I looked a complete mess and that had to be fixed before I could step out my door. It took a few minutes to change into a freshly pressed uniform since the one I was wearing was completely rumpled from the rest I got on the couch with Kat. The same went for my hair, and as I combed and gelled it into place flashes of that time were playing in my mind.
It's surprising how right it felt and how much I wanted to be holding her instead of just looking down on her as she slept beside me. When I did finally close my eyes to rest, I hadn't had a single one of the bad dreams that usually plague me when I've had a hard or stressful night before.
I know I'm in pretty deep with Kat. I mean, hell, I'm willing to go against everything I've believed and I've only known her for less than a month. This morning made me realize that it's going to be a hell of a lot more difficult to keep things between us as friends than I thought. I already crossed more than a few lines I set for myself and blew suggestions from my friends all to hell in just those minutes alone with her in that bathroom. What makes things even harder for me is her reaction to me in that time and how responsive she is, I know I could give in and take the next step and she would be right there with me. I know it's going to be hell and I should limit those kinds of encounters in the future if I want to keep all of these promises I've made.
I won't though. I know that as soon as I rush to get ready, grab my stuff for the day, and head to the Pit to wait for the others just so I can keep eyes on Kat, that I'm not going to be able to stop myself from spending time with her in any way I can.
I lean against a wall near the corridor that the rest of leadership will likely take to get to the Pit. It gives me a good view of Kat where she's sitting right now and I pull out my phone to go through emails and other things while keeping an eye on her.
I'm glad a do this after I get an email informing me that Max will be going to Erudite for a meeting with Jeanine. It's not really a surprise that he's found a reason to bail this meeting, but the fact that Jeanine will not be there is a pleasant one. That's one worry removed for me when I attempt to get Andrew Prior alone to talk.
Walking to the Pit this morning I added something else to the list of things I wanted to address with the man. I hadn't failed to notice the look in Kat's eyes when I mentioned having to go to the council meeting and I knew it was about her dad. I remember Zach's observation of Prior when his daughters picked Dauntless, how shocked and hurt he looked by their decision.
I planned on finding out how he feels about that now. Based on that, I'm contemplating something that makes me think I've absolutely lost my fucking mind, but I'm going to ask Andrew Prior to show up at visiting day for his daughter. Because I know nothing could mean more to her than seeing her parents again and knowing that they accept her decision. She might be telling herself that she doesn't care if they do or not, but I have this feeling that come visiting day if they aren't there she will be crushed.
The initiates all seem to flood the Pit at once and I watch as Kat gets up and starts to make her way out to the trains with her group and Chase surrounding her. A wave of jealousy at my brother hits me that he's going to be with her all day at the fence today. When Max, James, and Victoria join me not too long after, they find me already scowling and in a foul mood. The day is just starting, but I'm ready for it to be at the end.
I try not to zone out at the meeting like I have in the past, but it's proving to be just as irritating and pointless as all the other times I've attended. I might not be paying much attention to the objectives we go through as the day progresses, but I am watching the Abnegation contingent closely and trying to do it without my usual rancor and disdain.
It's hard to see Andrew Prior as the man Kat's spoken of so highly. At least not in this setting and I try to remember this as I observe him. I'm glad I do because it allows me to pick up on things that I've missed over the years or just forgot about immediately after because of my ingrained dislike for his faction.
The other Abnegation leaders in attendance are reserved and quiet, mostly allowing Marcus Eaton to dominate the speaking when it came to the faction itself being represented for the proceedings. I did notice that if it wasn't Marcus speaking the other three men seemed to look to Andrew with deference. I don't know if that's because they have a built-in hierarchy like Dauntless, Candor and Erudite do; or if they look to him because they actually respect him more. At first, I don't see why they would, because he seems just as meek as the rest of them.
It isn't until an issue is called to the floor regarding food deliveries and distribution by Erudite that I actually see something different from him.
It's long been debated that Abnegation should not have control over the cities food supplies that are produced in the factories and the fresh ones brought in from Amity. Lately, for months really, there have been rumors circulating that there is severe mismanagement, if not outright theft, of the food supply. There are also rumors going around that Abnegation is really hoarding all kinds of supplies, not just food, while they put on the act of living simple, non-materialistic lives. It's believed the proof would be in being able to audit and observe every delivery.
Erudite puts forth a motion that there should be observers from other factions to at least be present at the time of the deliveries but are gunning for permanent observation placements. They don't say they want it to be their faction but I know that's what they will try to maneuver if the motion passes.
They present their case and evidence to support the motion being passed but I have to say it's flimsy and all very circumstantial. Listening to all of that, and how the leader from Erudite Jasper, has very little facts and relies on fear mongering and gossip; I'm feeling pretty fucking stupid for how much I've fallen for that in the past.
I ate up every damn word. Why wouldn't I when I was raised to believe that there is that the data does not lie? That might as well be the motto in Erudite. It is anathema in Erudite to falsify any kind of data. It's drilled into every child from birth that there can be no good that comes from that course of action. That it only leads to a loss of knowledge and hampers progress. Which is something an Erudite should never do, or at least it's supposed to go against everything they stand for.
Just like I'm realizing how things are in Dauntless, not everything is as it should be for the other factions either. I can see that now and I feel a sick coil of dread grip me at the realization.
I know that this motion isn't going to go anywhere. Not when there is so very little real evidence and not when Marcus Eaton latches onto this fact gleefully to throw out it being put to a vote at all. It's here that I get the first glimpse of the Andrew Prior both Zach and Kat have talked about, but I've never noticed.
I see it in his eyes first before he asks to be recognized and stands to address the group. His eyes take on a look, a fire, that I'm all too familiar with from Kat. Unlike with Kat, Andrew's demeanor still seemed mild, subservient almost, and it leaves me wondering how many other times he's looked like this and stood for something Marcus Eaton has opposed, and I missed it because of my bias?
Andrew seconds the motion, stating that it's too important to faction cooperation and trust to dismiss. He realizes that there is a lack of data from Erudite but that doesn't mean that the issue shouldn't be addressed and handled so that the rumors can be dispelled once and for all. He also points out that it is selfish of Abnegation to deny say to all of those that are directly affected, the citizens of the city, and have the assurance that things are being handled properly.
He might have been calm, collected and cool while speaking but I hear the firm conviction, the fire, in his words. And I see the reactions of all the others around him. I see the looks of contemplation, agreement, and respect.
Needless to say, it passes.
With that one move, I see the man I've heard about but I also see the thing Jeanine is so threatened by when it comes to Andrew Prior. I see how the others are looking at him and I have a feeling that they think the wrong man is leading the government, and if given a chance they would vote Andrew in, in a heartbeat. As long as Eaton is in charge, the discontent and lack of faction cooperation will continue.
That will make it so much easier for Jeanine to pull off her plans.
This epiphany changes things for me. Kat is and will always be my main focus, my reason, but I can't lie to myself and say she's the only one anymore. Now it's about making up for things I've allowed myself to be blinded into being part of. Even though I have no clue how to start fixing the cluster fuck we're headed into in a hurry if things stay as they are.
Dinner is coming up fast by the time the meeting finally breaks up. I have a choice to make and I know I have to make it quickly. I can head out with James, go back to Dauntless and dinner with Kat or I can find excuses to hang back, send James on his way without me and work on securing a conversation with Andrew.
There is a big part of me that wants to say fuck it and go with the first option. Chase has sent me a few messages over the day telling me about how things are going and how Kat is. It's helped with some of the worries but it doesn't satisfy this craving I have to see and touch her. To confirm for myself that she's fine and not hurting. To be there if she is.
I feel like a junkie and she's my addiction.
In the end, the need to make sure she's safe and get answers overrides all of that, and I know I'm not going to get a better shot than this.
As people are gathering their things to leave, I pretend to be working on a report of the meeting for Max and Jeanine, sending James on his way without me. When the representative for Amity starts up a conversation about the newest motion, I don't do what I normally would which is to ignore them or walk away. By the time they leave, it's just a few Abnegation doing clean up and me, with Andrew being one of the two.
Andrew's a smart man and he caught on quickly that I'm sitting here, sipping slowly out of my water glass and fiddling with my tablet, as a stall tactic. He quickly dismisses his faction-mate, Jared, and finishes up the final cleaning of the conference room.
I stand, grabbing my glass and the few others around me, along with the now empty water pitcher and make my way towards him. He meets me halfway, a serene smile in place but his eyes filled with curiosity and wariness.
"I thank you for the help," He says and holds his hands out to take the items from me. I give them over and turn to pick up a few more we pass as I follow him to where he is setting everything aside to be cleaned. "There's no need to inconvenience yourself further, I'm sure you have other matters to attend to."
I nod but don't bother to stop what I was doing. "I do. It just so happens that one of the matters is speaking to you. If you have a moment that is?"
"I can always make time when it is asked of me. Would you like to have a seat so we can speak more comfortably?"
He only hesitated a second before he gave me a simple nod and responded smoothly, but not before I saw the flash of impatience in his eyes. I already knew it would be considered rude and selfish for an Abnegation to deny that kind of request and took advantage of it. We expected that might be his response and as much as I hate hinting that something would be wrong being seen talking together, there is no getting around this.
"It's close to dinnertime if I'm not mistaken, I was thinking that it would suffice to speak as we make our way home."
He looked confused for a brief second, his brow wrinkling before he responds. "While that would certainly be possible I'm afraid I don't know how much time that would give us. You are bound for the train and I have my walk home ahead of me."
"I can accompany you on the walk and catch the train when we are done. It isn't that much out of my way to do so." I shrug casually but I know he can see I'm not going to let this go.
I know he also picks up on me wanting to talk, but not here. I'll let him make out of that what he will and thankfully he doesn't argue further. He just nods simply before asking me to wait a moment. He walks over to a room and opens the door, leaning in to speak to whoever is in there before quickly returning and motions for us to head out with neither of us speaking again.
We are out of the building and well down the path before I feel like it's safe as I can expect it to be. I'm not quite ready to get into the deep shit yet and that isn't the plan anyway.
"I don't know if you're aware, but part of my duties as a leader for my faction includes overseeing the new initiates and their training."
I keep my tone as neutral as possible, conversational even, but I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye to see his reaction as we continue walking. His face betrays nothing, though there is a slight tensing of his shoulders.
"I was not aware of that. I'm sure that is a very important job for any faction but it seems especially essential for the cities protectors."
His response honestly surprises me. Most Abnegation I've encountered barely mask their disdain for Dauntless and anytime we are brought into a conversation they never miss a chance to insult our ways. I quickly play the words back in my mind searching for any of that or condescension and can detect none.
"It can be a difficult job. There's a line that needs to be held in trying to make sure that we remain strong and capable, but at the same time it can be difficult when you know that some of those initiates just aren't suited for the faction and won't make it."
My answer is an honest and distracted stream of thought. I have no one specific in mind really but just thinking about the struggles in years past. It doesn't occur to me that he would think I mean anyone specific until he stops walking suddenly and faces me with a deep and troubled frown.
That's when it hits me that he must think I'm meaning Kat.
"I apologize, I was merely speaking of the difficulty Dauntless has in general. I don't think it would be betraying our belief of faction before blood for me to say that your daughter is doing very well so far."
I allow a small smile to tilt my lips as I try and reassure the elder man of this. While I do see a flash of relief, that is soon replaced by cunning as he tilts his head and narrows his eyes. "If you are aware of one of my daughters, surely you would be aware I have two that went to Dauntless. Are they not both doing well?"
I internally rail at myself for my mistake while I clear my throat and shake my head slightly. "No, of course, they are both doing well. Better than expected to be perfectly honest."
He continues to study me for a few, long and tense seconds before he sighs and turns to start walking again. I can see his shoulders sag just slightly and his tone is full of relief tinged with sadness. "I'm not surprised they are doing well there. I think I always knew…" He trails off, not completing the sentence, almost like he can't, and turns to look at me. That shrewd look back in his eyes. "To which daughter where you originally referencing?"
I hesitate in answering. It was a mistake that already gave too much away and I need to find a way not to make it worse. I'm beginning to see why Zach cautioned me like he did. There is something about Andrew that hints at him being extremely intelligent buried underneath all that Abnegation demeanor.
"Mary Katherine, or as she goes by now, Kat, has shown great promise so far," I answer hoping I kept my tone as even as I possibly could.
"Indeed? I think I should have expected as much. How involved are you with training? Do you interact much with the initiates?"
"Normally, I have very little personal contact with initiates. This year required more supervisors since the group is larger than previous years, what with the choosing age change, so I've taken up more responsibilities on that front. But like I said, Kat shows great promise. I saw from the beginning her potential and dedication and I can admit to wanting to foster that."
"Hmm," Is his initial response until he once again comes to a stop and faces me. That shrewd calculating look back in his eyes along with that fire I've come to know from Kat. "It sounds as if you are coming to know my daughter very well then. The question for me is if this is just as a leader of her future faction, or something a bit more personal?"
I'm surprised by his forthrightness, along with that fire just simmering in his eyes letting me know he already sees through my bullshit and wants to hear the words from my mouth, even if he won't be pleased by them. I take way too long to answer him, probably confirming everything he's guessing at but I don't care.
I'm arguing with myself right now. There's something in me that doesn't want to lie to this man. I want to be honest and state my intentions to her father. I know how important he is to her and something in me wants to have his approval, maybe even blessing. I tell myself it's for her sake but I can't lie to myself, getting that would mean the fucking world to me.
But you won't get it.
Even as I prepare myself to answer I know that I won't get anything close to his blessing. I'm pretty sure I'll finally get exactly what I expected from him all along, disdain, disgust, condescension and being told I'm crazy if I think he would ever approve of someone like me being with his daughter. I know he'll let me know just how unworthy I am of her, and he won't be wrong, but I'm selfish and I don't care.
"I am, first and foremost, her Leader and her instructor for the duration of initiation. Her success in training and in Dauntless is my main focus currently. Whatever else we may become will be entirely up to her. I can truthfully state that I hope it progresses to more besides the friends we have also become."
I work hard not to let any belligerence through. I try and keep my tone calm while still letting him know in words and tone that I mean everything I'm saying. I know that I don't quite achieve that. My jaw is too tight, and my fists are clenched at my sides making the muscles of my arms twitch and my shoulders to tense up.
The longer he takes to respond, the longer his hazel eyes appraise me as they move to hold mine, the more I can feel my anger build. Finally after what feels like for fucking ever he nods once while his lips tilt up, not quite in a smile, but definite amusement.
"I have to say, I didn't expect that answer or this, at all. Although, I don't really know what someone can expect for a situation they never thought they would find themselves in. I'm surprised at the honesty and feeling behind your answer and I'm relieved to hear it. So, I will respond in kind. You have to know I am well aware of your...reputation...within your faction and outside of it. I admit that I don't know how much of that is an exaggerated rumor or how much is the truth. As a father, you have to understand that this is concerning. I know that my daughters are no longer in the same faction as I am, but I will always worry for them. I will always want to know they are healthy and happy and that will never go away no matter our faction divides. And I will do everything in my power to see to that for them. I know this sounds odd coming from someone from my faction. I may not have chosen the path of being a protector in choosing Abnegation, that was never a role I believed I was born to play in our society. Having children changed that in ways I couldn't have predicted. Whether I am cut out for it or not, I'm still driven to protect my daughters. Even from themselves if necessary. Maybe one day, if or when you have children of your own, you will come to understand that no distance, no amount of time, and no government rules, can make that instinct go away."
The fire of his words, and the fact that everything I expected to happen never did leave me speechless and wondering where the hell to go from here. He's all but said to me that he doesn't give a fuck about faction before blood and I don't know how I feel about that, other than maybe a good bit of admiration. There's no denying the man has some balls to admit he knows about me but that if it comes down to it, he's going to do what he needs to, to protect his family regardless of what I might be capable of doing.
His words have taken the wind out of the sails of my anger and are leaving me thinking hard about what to say in response. I try to imagine myself in his position and what I would do if someone like me approached, showing interest in my daughter, and I just can't. I can't even begin to imagine myself as a father but at the very least I do have a similar protective instinct when it comes to Kat.
"I can't imagine what it is for a father to need to protect his children. I can't claim that and I don't know that will be something I will ever be…" I pause, lost for the right words and frowning heavily.
"Blessed with?" Andrew supplies with a smirk and amusement ringing in his tone.
I shake my head, a wry smile on my lips and chuckle a little. "I was thinking more along the lines of honored." I shrug a little and continue. "But blessed fits too. I don't know if that will be something that I am meant for. Before now I haven't given it much thought."
Andrew nods slowly, a smile still tilting his lips as he turns and starts walking again. We keep pace for a short way before he starts the conversation again. "There's a reason you wanted to speak me to today, Eric. Was it to give me a progress report on my daughters?"
His tone suggests he knows full well that wasn't the reason. I shake my head and rub the back of my neck. The conversation I intended to have originally has changed and I'm currently trying to figure out where to go from here.
Why is it my carefully laid out plans have been getting blown to hell and back lately?
"I admit that hearing Kat having spoken so highly of you and your wife, along with her honest answers about Abnegation and her life before, piqued my curiosity. I came to the realization that I've never interacted with anyone from different factions unless it was in a meeting or something of that nature. The only thing I know about them is what I've been told in school or limited observations I have. I'll be honest, Dauntless and Abnegation interactions might not be the best to use to make judgments. I thought it was about time I remedied that and thought the best person to go to is who Kat looks up to."
"That is very good of you to say but I'm not sure that's the case any longer. Maybe it hasn't been for a long time." He sighs with a look of pain flashing in his eyes.
"Sir, you said you've heard about me and my reputation so you know that I am not someone known for compassion. I'm not prone to trying to reassure someone when there is no truth to it." I mutter bitterly.
"And yet, Eric, here you are talking to a father about his daughters and giving him peace of mind to know that they are not only doing well but flourishing. A father they probably think is disgusted by their choice when really, I was afraid of letting them go. I've always known in my heart they were bound for Dauntless, but them going meant I could no longer protect them. That I would lose them. So instead of supporting them, I've shown them disdain and displeasure."
Any mask he had is gone as he talks, his tone full of pain and that clearly showing on his face. I don't really think the words are just for me but are from a man admitting a truth he's held inside for too long and can't anymore. There's something about that, how much self-recrimination I can see in him right now, that reminds me of Kat. I was transported back to the hallway where I was showing her my worst but she didn't see it that way and the words slip out before I even think about them.
"She's just like you, you know. Always willing to look for the worst in herself but the best in others. Even me."
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the hell did I say that?
We never stopped walking during all of this and are now coming up to a small park area. It's the last spot like this before the city starts to degrade into the disrepair of the factionless and Abnegation sectors. Andrew leads us over to a bench set back away from the roads and under cover of trees. He must have known it already existed because I would have totally missed it.
He takes a seat on one end of the bench with a tired sigh and a small smile twisting his lips. "I wish I could take credit for that but I have to say that is all her mother. Natalie saw the best in me even when I was very self-centered, arrogant, over analytical and frankly rather pessimistic. She took the time to get to know me and saw beyond that, saw that at heart I was driven to help others, to help those most in need, but I couldn't see beyond how I was taught without it getting in the way. It took a swift kick in the ass from her for any of that to change for me."
I let out a short chuckle of laughter as I take a seat and muse on how well I can identify with all of that. Talk about it running in the family and similar situations.
We sit in quiet for a few seconds and I'm amazed how at ease I am with this man that by all accounts I've hated. Maybe it's because, whether he wants to take the credit or not, I see so much of his daughter in him.
"Natalie and I became friends but I always wanted more. She not so kindly informed me that it would never be more until I could get over myself. I wasn't a very nice person at the time. What she saw in me to even be my friend I'll never know, but I will be forever grateful for it too. Meeting her opened my eyes to who I could be, who I was inside, even what I would become if I continued on the path I was on."
His story is sounding so eerily similar to my own that I begin to feel my old paranoia building, wondering if this is some kind of trick or scheme to get me on their side. I've been conditioned to see this man and his faction as the enemy for so long that, that instinct in me is hard to get over. Andrew continues on, oblivious to the worm of doubt working through my mind.
"When my choosing time came I had a difficult decision before me. I could stay where I was and continue on the path set for me and where I was familiar with, which was comforting in a way. Or I could go where I felt I was meant to go and where I knew I had a chance to do some real good. But that was a path filled with so many unknowns and was bound to be much more difficult for me. The one certainty and bright spot for me in going with the unknown was knowing that Natalie would be there with me. Or so I thought. She knew what I didn't at the time, that I needed to make the decision for myself and she also knew that more than half of my reasoning to transfer was to be with her. It was something she didn't feel like she could live with if I followed her and regretted it later. So she did something, that at the time I hated her for, but she cut me out of her life. She didn't want me to choose something because of her and if I decided to go anyway then it was because I knew I was meant to, even if it meant she and I would never be together."
"How did you get past that?" I asked incredulously, not even being able to imagine how I would have reacted if Kat called things off even if it was for my own good.
He shrugs without looking at me, still lost in his reflections and the memory. "I didn't at first. I was angry and convinced myself I hated her but I found out later that she knew that the only way for her to get me to accept that it was over between us was for her to make me hate her. Even with her pushing me away, with all my anger, I never really hated her. Her plan worked though and I picked Abnegation. I think a part of me knew why she was doing what she did and she's right that I would have been miserable. I would have grown to resent her if I had chosen to transfer just for her."
"Wait." I look at him confused by something in his story. "Forgive me, but you don't strike me as having ever belonged anywhere but Abnegation and I honestly thought that was your birth faction but you transferred?"
"I think the point was that I never did belong where I was from, but yes, I was a transfer." He responds with a smile and amusement dancing in his eyes.
I bite my lower lip to keep from demanding him to tell me what faction he's from, feeling like the answer is going to be a piece in the fucked up puzzle of Jeanine's endgame. I also feel like his answer might be an important piece in the answer to how I can stop whatever's coming.
"Erudite. You want to know what my faction of birth was. I was born to parents from Erudite." He answers the question I wouldn't allow myself to ask.
The answer doesn't relieve me or that urgency I felt if anything I feel a chill run through me. More questions begin to bounce around in my mind in a flood that I can't begin to stop or process but I latch onto the next clear question I have.
"And your wife? You said that you would have followed her. Which means that she was…"
I don't get to finish when I see his lips thin slightly and he shakes his head. "No, she wasn't in Erudite with me but she was also a transfer." He pauses and looks at me frowning. "I don't know why I'm telling you this but I guess it might help you to understand why I always suspected the girls were bound to go to your faction. She transferred from Dauntless, knowing her path very early in life, like my daughters."
I sit back stunned, processing everything I've heard and seen today. I don't know how long I'm wrapped up in that while we sit in silence before I hear the first deep chuckle come from Andrew beside me. There's a pause in sound but then he starts to really laugh. Quietly at first but louder as he goes on.
I turn my head and look at him, to find him looking up and shaking his head. I guess he sees I'm looking at him worriedly, wondering if he's snapped or something because he turns his head and starts talking again.
"You know, I've wondered over the years if God arranged for me to be with Natalie just so she can point out what an unmitigated ass I can be with four simple words, I told you so. Not that she would ever actually say them to me, she doesn't need to. It's all in her eyes. Do you know how many times she's cautioned me about sticking to my ' preconceived notions ' about one thing or another over the years? Too many to count and a good majority of those it turns out she was right all along. One of those things has been about how I view the other factions without really ever having interacted with them either. But you and this entire conversation is just another example that there are still lessons I need to learn."
"How so?" I frown and look at him.
"Eric," He sighs and runs a hand over his face. "I'm a very proud man that doesn't like to admit he might be wrong about things but I can admit I might have been wrong on my estimation of you over the years. That could have been solved by me getting over myself, as Natalie has told me before, and making the effort to get to know you, or really anyone in Dauntless. But it's not just limited to Dauntless. How often do any of the factions, members or dependents, find themselves having real conversations? I can say in all my years that it has only happened once when I met my wife. She told me once that this was going to come back to me one day when I least expect it, and she was right. It has."
I nodded slowly in agreement. That same thought was what pushed me to arrange this little meeting in the first place. But I can see that he is meaning it on a larger scale. Even before what happened with my parents, I had a set opinion about Abnegation because I wasn't given anything to dispute it. I was so ready to believe every rumor and bad thing being fed to me because I really had no basis to be able to disprove it or another starting point to go front.
"I don't think you are alone in that, sir." I finally reply.
He nods and laughs softly then sighs and looks at the horizon. "Andrew, you can call me Andrew," The horn of the train sounds in the distance, and with a frown, he looks down at his watch, while I do the same thing. "You've given me a lot to think about tonight, Eric. I know Natalie will be eager to have word of our girls, and I thank you for putting a little of our worries to rest."
He stands at this, signaling our time together is over. I mimic him, ready to give the customary partings when dealing with an Abnegation, but am surprised to see his hand extended to me. I reach out and take it without hesitation once I see it, mostly because that's just an ingrained response in me, and get another surprise.
Andrew's grip starts out how I would expect an Abnegation to shake hands, slightly loose and gentle but that quickly changes and as soon as our hands are connected he shows a surprising amount of strength when his grip tightens around mine. I look to see his eyes are narrowed as he looks at me with a return of that fire in them.
"I think it need not be said that I expect as a leader of your faction and as a man that you will honor your words earlier. Whatever your wishes, it will always be her choice." I can tell that despite the fire and steel behind the warning there is another message he's conveying besides that he will be watching things.
It's not a blessing exactly, but it's not him telling me to stay away either. So despite how my I want to react at the implication, my brief flare of temper cools a bit as I take a beat to process what he's both saying out loud and not saying by the simple gesture of the handshake.
"Of course. Her happiness, her safety, will always be first in my mind." I stop and allow a bit of my own fire out as I narrow my eyes in return. "I will also be honest and say that I believe I know what her choice will be just as I know what mine is."
His hold loosens around my hand as his expression turns amused with a grin tilting his lips before he laughs and shakes his head. "Eric, if that's the case and she has made her choice, I wish all the luck in the world. Your going to need it if you're plan is what I think it is." He drops his hand and his laugh gets deeper. "My daughters have a fire and stubbornness the likes of which you would not believe."
Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea of just how much fire Kat has.
"Sir," I reply as calmly as I could, reverting back to a formalness for the moment. "I believe I have a pretty good idea and that I'm in for more even more examples than what I've already seen in a short time."
He smiles widely at me and with a definite showing of pride in his eyes before he turns and we both start walking. Before we get a few steps into the walk I remember the other thing I want to address today with him. I turn my head to look at him as we keep walking.
"I'm sure you're aware that visiting day will be coming up shortly. Dauntless' doors will be open to all factions, as always, on that day. Maybe we can meet again at that time?"
He turns his head to look at me, surprise written clearly there until he smiles and gives a nod. "I believe that a meeting could be arranged for that day." His smile falters and his eyes take on that calculating look while he frowns. "But if you could, don't…"
I'm already nodding in understanding before he even completes it. "I'll keep it to myself."
He gives a sigh of relief and another thankful smile.
Tensions are high, higher than even he might be aware of, between all factions. But for Abnegation and Dauntless, they are at a very fine edge and while it wouldn't be against any rules for a leader of any faction to visit another, in this instance it could cause a stir and concern.
I already knew before I actually made the suggestion that whatever the result I would tell Kat of this meeting or that her parents may or may not be able to attend the visiting day. I couldn't get her hopes up only for them to be crushed.
I did what I could though and I leave the meeting feeling good about that. I also leave knowing that I'm determined to find a way to make the day good for her, should the worst happen.