Chapter 32- Never Underestimate A Stiff

Eric

I have to leave Kat for an early breakfast meeting with the other leaders and officers to be debriefed on the events during Capture. It's been less than seven hours since we got back to the compound and I know that nothing is going to have been discovered yet. So, I try to get by with sending Chase instead and staying behind.

Max isn't having it. He calls me personally, demanding to know where my initiate is, her status, and then states he expects those answers to be given to him in person during the meeting.

Zach isn't needed for this so he's able to stay behind and keep watch over Kat and give her the medications she needs every few hours. I don't like leaving her but I know my brother has it under control and Kat is being kept heavily sedated right now anyway.

The meeting was short and tension-filled. Raze was there looking even more menacing than usual and had very little to say but what he did wasn't good. He wasn't happy about the situation and would be heading up the team with me and Chase to investigate further.

We knew I would need to provide a report of the events from my perspective. We also knew they would want to know any information Kat might have as well as her status. The problem we had when figuring out what we could tell them is that we don't know how the serum is going to affect Kat. There has been data that Divergents are resistant to serums in some form or fashion but it doesn't make them immune. Her current condition is proof enough of that. From what we've been able to find out about the minimum exposure to the serum for the average person, it can take up to two weeks for the person's nervous system to right itself with many of those having long-lasting effects that have to be managed by medications. Kat was struck by ten of those damn things and because I made the decision to wait for Zach before removing them, she was exposed to full doses from at least seven of those darts.

I decided to take a page out of Kat's book and answer with the truth, just not all of the truth.

"At this time the initiate is unable to be questioned. In her effort to prevent anyone from getting hit she was struck ten times in the back and legs. We have been able to determine they were using a combination of regular neuro-stim darts and ones with a special serum meant to target the nervous system. Of those ten darts, she was hit with two of this unknown serum in the back of her leg. The contact was brief and they weren't very deep but it was enough to leave her unable to remain conscious. As of right now, she's being given a series of neutralizing serums as well as being heavily sedated until such a time when she can be roused without severe pain. We currently don't have an estimated time of when that will be."

This seemed to appease them for now but I could see Four watching me closely, scowling the entire time. I'm surprised when he doesn't say anything. I would be thankful for his silence if it didn't put me on edge even more than I already am.

"Moving on," Max brusquely follows up after my report. " I want security ramped up and checks done on all points of entry into the compound. Chase, I want you to take point on this. Four, I want the initiates limited to either their dorm or the dining hall for the next two days while this is being done. You and Lauren are to do headcounts at lights out. We need to decide what to do with the initiates for the next week. Today was scheduled as a late start day with weapons practice but we're going to cancel that and just make it a complete rest day." He pauses and looks around making sure his orders are received and nods. "Good. Now anyone have ideas for what we should have them doing?"

The rest of the breakfast meeting is short and to the point, as we establish the changes to training. As soon as we get the unofficial dismissal I leave, not even bothering to stick around and eat.

When I get back to the apartment I see how haggard Zach is looking and decide to let him be the first to get some sleep and take over for him. We've already given her the neutralizing serum that should help to rid her body of any serums currently in her bloodstream. The hope is that this will stop any more damage from being done. Now we just have to keep up with her doses of sedatives and pain medications which are supposed to be administered every four to six hours. We've found that Kat has been needing them before then. Zach isn't sure why she's rousing when the dosage should have her knocked out completely. We aren't sure if it's because the pain gets too severe or her divergence based resistance burns through the drugs faster. Either way, we've set an alarm to check on her and give her a dose every two and a half hours.

Zach crashes out on the couch in seconds after he goes through a rundown on what she's been given so far with an order for me to wake him up the second she starts to stir so he can give her what she needs then, since he's still trying to figure out the right combination and dosage for her.

It seems luck was on my side leaving the meeting early because I got out of there just before Kat's sister and friends cornered Four in control trying to find out more information about her condition and wanting to see her. Chase messaged me a play by play that I read from Kat's side with a grin on my face. I try to catch up on some paperwork while I'm watching over her but the lack of sleep in being spread out beside her on the bed ends up getting to me.

For the next two days, it's mainly me and Zach here with Kat while Chase works on the investigation along with trying to help keep the initiates occupied. I have to leave a few times to pick up more supplies for Kat or meet up with one person or another.

I get very little sleep during this time. Not after that first time I fell asleep beside her and how I woke up.

Somehow during my sleep, I shifted myself and Kat enough for her to be in my arms. What worried me was that she woke up trying to hold in her screams and I didn't notice enough to wake up until she couldn't hold them in anymore. It worried me as she fought against the meds Zach hurriedly got into her until she got out a broken question, asking if I was okay. It left me feeling in awe of how much strength of will she had to fight and that she did it just to check on me.

It also disturbed me that she seems to be so willing to let herself hurt or be hurt like she is, even if it was for me. What sleep I do get was filled with nightmares of everything that could have happened and what might still happen to her.

Me, Chase and Zach sit at the table used by the leaders and high ranking officers on the upper level of the dining hall. None of us are happy we're all being called away to meet with the others and it probably shows. I'm extremely pissed after this morning's calls from Max when he demanded our presence. Not only that but his demands about access to Kat after her sister and friends stormed up to the leaders' offices, for the second day in a row, demanding to see Kat have me on edge. It was stopped only by reminding him that she is still unable to be questioned and letting anyone near her until we can do that would be a bad idea. He agreed, grudgingly, to leave her where she is for now but I have a feeling he's going to order her moved if she isn't awake by tomorrow.

My attitude isn't helped one bit by my worry that we had to leave Kat (basically) unattended back at the apartment. Despite Zach's reassurance that Peter Hayes has been properly motivated by my threats along with his ass being saved by Kat as well that night, I still don't like the thought of him alone with her. But we needed someone that could watch over her until we get back and none of us felt comfortable bringing in anyone else.

I grip my cup of coffee a little hard in frustration as I listen to the talk going on around the table about other issues besides initiation or the attack. Raze speaks up from one side of me, informing us he's gotten a request from Candor to up patrols in their area. No reason was given for the request and it's being debated if we can swing it.

Of all the leaders, Raze is the one the three of us are leaning towards approaching to help stop what's one the horizon. He and Victoria are being left out of the loop for whatever reason. The only other leaders that are aware of Erudite's true intentions are me, James and Max. He is Dauntless through and through and while we don't socialize outside of work, we have had a fairly good working relationship since I got in leadership. He gives me a hard time every now and again about my methods but generally, he doesn't bother me and I don't bother him. His focus seems to have always been the safety of the city and doing or jobs the best way we can get them done.

James is a power-hungry asshole that's too lazy to do any real work to get that power himself and I wouldn't trust him for shit on a good day. I didn't before Kat came along but I for damn sure wouldn't now.

Victoria has only been one of the main leaders for only six years, even though she is older than I am and had been in leadership longer than I had. She stayed a junior leader forever before finally earning a spot as one of the five. Honestly, I don't even know what she did exactly to earn that spot. That was between her and Max and I think that mainly she doesn't give a shit about anything that doesn't concern her department here in Dauntless. This is why I think she's been left out. Because no one thinks she will care one way or the other as long as at the end of the day she gets what she wants for her division and is left alone to run it.

Max. I'm still torn about Max. Most times he's reluctant as hell to give in to even the smallest of requests (demands) from Erudite. He told me flat out when giving me leadership he was tempted to not even offer it to me for the simple fact that Jeanine seemed to be pushing so hard for me to have the position. I don't get what is in this for him. Power isn't his end goal, that much I know for a fact, but why had he been willing to get into bed as deep with Erudite in the first place if he hates the idea so much? Because I can't begin to guess his motivations I'm the wariest about him.

Max gives a nod over his coffee when he agrees to hold off on the request from Candor until we can get more specifics. "Alright moving on. We have some new intel that Control has been able to put together from vid feeds the night of the attack."

This catches my attention and I look first at Chase who is frowning and gives a small shake of his head, telling me he wasn't aware of this. I look over to see Four had been glaring in our direction until Zeke elbowed him and gave him a warning look.

"And what, pray tell, have they found?" I sneer at Four and coldly drawl out.

It's not Four or Zeke who answers, but Max. The strain on his face and anger in his tone is enough to cool any animosity I'm set on tossing my enemies way.

"We thought that this might be a move coming from inside Dauntless but have since found out that it was a move made by the factionless instead. One of the patrol bunkers over in Amity was raided a few months back. Nothing substantial was taken other than some of the clothes, so the report for it wasn't given priority. Between that and the new vid feed that has been found, we've been able to piece together a few more details. One of the still images was able to capture the guns they used. They aren't the standard issue and have probably been modified or are an entirely new creation like the darts they used. They were also able to determine that there were two teams of five people that split up and were hanging around the general area your two teams were located. The newest feed shows the attack itself, or at least some parts of it."

The looks me and the others exchange is so brief I'm sure no one else noticed but it was enough for us to establish Chase would take over from here in his role as head of control. "What does the latest footage we were able to pull show?"

This time Four does answer Chase's direct order and question. "The two teams meet up. The one lying in wait near where my group set up stayed put and were joined by the others that left where your group was. It looks like they timed their attack to start right when we spotted your advancing group and attacked when they started to engage you. They struck from the rear and the side. Edward, Tank, and Kat all spotted one group and were engaged with them. We can't make it out exactly, but it looks like Kat didn't spot the other group until they were pretty close. She might have gotten off several shots before she was put down but if she did we don't see it." He stops for just a second and is looking down into the dining hall at something before he looks back to the group at the table. "The footage is pretty spotty and it only gets worse during the attacks. We were able to catch her throwing herself forward in an effort to push Coutler and Hayes out of the way. There isn't a clear image of her actually being hit, just her going down and not getting back up. The feed gets extremely grainy halfway through the encounter but by the time she goes down its mostly snow with scattered clear images."

Four's hands are clenched as tight as his jaw. One of his tells that he's not saying something. It could just be him holding himself back from making a comment to me about this being all my fault, but something is telling me it's about what was actually on that vid feed. I know what he was likely to see if the footage wasn't crap. I just don't know why he would be keeping it to himself. I can see him doing something to protect Kat if he felt she needed it. It sure as fuck wouldn't be to protect me. My mind is spinning wondering what all his reasons are for doing it in the first place and everything he could have seen.

Max turns to me expectantly and I know it's my turn to provide those answers he's been waiting on. "As I informed you earlier, the initiate was hit several times by a combination of the regular and modified darts. We were able to determine that the modified ones lodged into the muscle of her calf and thigh on one leg but were shallow hits. She did have several of the regular darts that were in much deeper up and down her spine. The combination of the two and where those darts stuck in her nerve center caused enough pain for her to go into seizures of a sort. I was able to confirm that it will take time for the serum to work it's way out of her system even with the help of the neutralizer and she will be in considerable pain for at least 72 hours. It was recommended that she be kept under sedation, pain medications, and muscle relaxants during this time."

Max nods thoughtfully while looking at the report in front of him. "How many times in total was she hit again?"

"Ten sir," Zach speaks up instead of me when he sees my hesitance and knows I'm having trouble with the memory of that night and her condition because of it.

"I wasn't sure if the initial report was correct but I can safely say that even if she would have only been struck once, the fact that she acted at all and so quickly is commendable. Especially considering the reports I've received regarding incidents with at least one of the people that would have been hit had she not done was she did. " He mumbles this last with a slight smirk and never looks up. It's enough to get my attention before he moves on quickly. "Continue trying to identify the attackers. I'm authorizing two teams to be put together to begin bringing in and questioning the factionless regarding this attack and the weapons they used. I want this done quickly and quietly. News of the attack and the actions of our initiate have already made the rounds and I'm not sure where that leak came from but that isn't too worrying at the moment. The investigation and everything from here on I want a tight lid on."

"Sir," Four addresses Max after the agreement had been given to his orders. "About the initiate and her current condition. If she is unable to participate for the day now that we are putting them back on training…"

Max waves away the question in a casual manner and gives a quiet scoff. "I think under the circumstances missing one day of training can be overlooked. Fights won't resume until tomorrow. I daresay that she's demonstrated enough skill on the activity that they're scheduled for today." Again with the smirk but this time Max is looking right at me as he says this in a sly manner and a taunting eyebrow lift.

I wisely keep my mouth shut but respond by raising my eyebrow right back at him and giving a casual shrug that could mean I don't really give a crap. Inside I'm elated that he's giving her a pass for today. I'm not exactly ecstatic that he's using her drunken showing off of her knife skills instead. But considering his comments of approval that night I'll take what I can get.

Four looks relieved at this news too and nods at Max. "If that is all sir, I'm going to see to the days preparation." Max gives him a nod of dismissal at this. Four stands but hesitates to move away from the table and looks at me. "You never said, but when can I expect to have my initiate back and when can her friends and sister see her?"

I don't lose it like I want to at the use of 'my initiate' or the slightly possessive gleam in his eyes when he said it. I want to rail and curse him. To wrap my hands around his throat and cut off all air until his those goddamn eyes bulge out and burst, never to have that look in them again where Kat is concerned.

I don't lose it. But it's close. Instead, my eyes are ice as I stare him down and I keep my tone soft.

"You can expect her when she is brought back to the group and you can tell them that she is recovering and being seen to but until we speak to her and get her statements she needs to be kept under lock and key."

"And she has no moments of being awake when she could answer questions so that at least her sister can see her?" He grinds out.

I tilt my head as I look at him and smirk even if I am feeling anything but amused right now. "I never thought you of all people would be up for torture, Four. Yes, of course, there are moments she could be considered lucid, or what might pass for it. That is until the pain hits from the lack of medications and then you'd barely be able to get anything from her besides her screams. If you would like I can order that done and the next time she comes to, screaming and writhing in pain, you are more than welcome to try and get anything from her then. I'm sure she will understand that you just needed to make sure of her well being and will forgive you for putting her through that."

The normally dusky complexion of his skin pales and his eyes widened just slightly at my words before he quickly recovers and shakes his head while glaring at me. "You've made your point, Eric." Without another word, he spins away and storms away.

My smirk is still in place as I watch him leave, feeling like I've just won a major victory against Four. That smirk drops as I then watch Kat's sister storm into the dining hall just as he's leaving. She has that look I've come to know so well from Kat. When she's determined and fired up. This is usually seconds before she strikes in some kind of attack either; verbal or physical. Whatever she's saying to Four has him bristling in anger then leaning in to whisper to her. It looks menacing, the way he's talking to her and trying to intimidate her to do whatever it is he's telling Tris. All she does is scowl at him, pushes him to the side and then storms further into the room.

I've never cursed how well I can see everything happening on the lower level as I do right now because as clear a view it gives us leaders, it's now giving this tiny girl a clear view up here too. Her eyes zero in on the table ...and me.

Fuck. My. Life. This is all I need right now.

Chase is muttering worriedly beside me while Max actually groans as we watch her make her way to the stairs and up them in record time.

"I want to see my sister," The words are out of her mouth before she is even halfway to the table. "You can't keep her from me. The very least you can do…"

All it took was one look around the table at the faces of the other leaders to have me popping up and meeting her before she can complete that sentence.

"I would watch your tone, initiate." I grind out loudly for everyone to hear me as I grab her arm and dragged her towards the stairs. I don't let go until I have her down them and on the lower level to the side where we can speak with a little more privacy. I cross my arms over my chest and take a few seconds to compose myself, trying to override every instinct I have on how to handle anyone who dares to question me.

I remind myself that this is the sister of the woman I'm in ...Well, that I care for anyway. Tris is just as concerned as I've been this entire time, maybe even more since I've at least been able to be with her while she hasn't.

"While I can admire your spirit, protectiveness, and just outright balls to be demanding anything of your leaders, I'm cautioning you to take care of how you speak here. This isn't my benefit but you and your sister's sake." I manage to keep my tone even while impressing this on her firmly.

The fear I saw flash in her eyes when I grabbed her arm has been slowly ebbing as they widen in surprise. She still hadn't lost the fire in her eyes even with that fear. This close up I notice that she takes after her father in that her hazel eyes have more blue in them than the green in Kat's.

"I still don't understand why I can't be allowed to be with Kat. I would never do anything to my sister…"

"This isn't about you, Tris." I hissed angrily, my tone and use of her name taking her by surprise and shutting her up. I mentally growl at my lapse of control and force myself to go back to an emotionless tone. "You might not do anything to hurt her but that doesn't mean others will feel the same way and they could possibly use your connection to get to her. That's exactly why there is a procedure in place to protect the location of important witnesses. Her location is known to only those who are authorized to know and it will stay that way."

Her lips thin and I can tell that she isn't taking this well. It's making her more suspicious of me. I can't help that and I'm not giving in either but I can provide her a little more information that will hopefully help her worry and stop her from doing something stupid again.

"It's not comprising her security to tell you that she is doing much better than she could be and how she was just after the attack. Max has authorized her to be excused from training for the day today. I expect her to be back at least by tomorrow."

There is complete silence as I watch her looking over my shoulder at something. I turn my head and see Lynn standing behind me and looking like she had been in the middle of making a gesture of some kind. I'm guessing it was her telling Tris to cut it out or cool it.

Smart girl.

When Lynn sees me looking back at her there is a look she gives me that almost makes me think she's trying to apologize for Kat's sister's behavior before she turns and moves further away.

I hear Tris sigh and turn back to look at her and she starts talking still with a hint of hostility that turns to a plea. "Thank you for informing about my sister, Sir. But if there is any way I can...or if she does wake up sooner, can I please be allowed to see her?"

"I'll see what I can do, initiate," I grumble and stalk back up the stairs and to the table, completely over this mess and how it's making me feel when I felt myself soften a little for a second.

Before the meeting wraps up and everyone can take off, Max motions me with his head to join him at the end of the table. The others take the hint and give us some space. Even with that space and privacy, he leans in closer to me.

"I wanted to get your thoughts on the Prior girls. Would it be fair to say that they are showing true potential?" I can tell that even though he's asking me, he already has his own thoughts about the matter.

"It's unexpected, but they do both show potential as soldiers of Dauntless," I reply after giving a small nod.

He mimics that gesture as his lips thin in thought and he lifts his cup of coffee to take a drink before lowering it and continuing. "Considering the events of capture it would seem that Kat shows the most potential. However, I was given notice that before the attack Tris provided the strategy her team picked to go with." I nod in acknowledgment, still not sure where he's going with this and not wanting to say anything more until I do. "Eric, I've made it clear from the start to Jeanine and everyone else that Dauntless will never hand over anyone without it being confirmed, with proof positive, they are divergent and a threat. I will continue to stand by that no matter anyone's insistence otherwise. I know you have the training and are able to spot tendencies early on. Jeanine is adamant she be handed those girls no matter what. I want you to tell me honestly if you believe either of those initiates to be threats?"

My mind is racing as fast as my heart and I measure my response carefully. I'm thankful that his question wasn't asking if I think they are divergent because now I can answer truthfully.

"The first stage is never a clear cut indicator but there can be hints to be seen from time to time and I haven't seen any of those yet. But from what I have seen and experienced with either girl I do not detect a threat, Sir. "

I knew if I outright denied any threat or possibility of a threat I was asking for trouble. My general paranoia and suspicions of everyone are too well known. In the past, I would have been reluctant to rule anyone out until at least the end of the second stage and sometimes even insisted they still be kept on a watch list right up until the final test.

Max grunts and nods while he strokes his chin in thought, his nails scratching through the neatly groomed goatee peppered with gray hairs. "We'll just have to maintain a close watch on them then. And I don't mean just for them being a threat but any threats to them as well, Eric. I know we've had our tension in the past about the fact that you came from Erudite, but I think you've more than proved your loyalty is to Dauntless over the years. While Erudite is an ally, I don't trust them."

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes. This is a new development I didn't expect but hope I can use it to my advantage, if it's true, that is. Max has never stated his distrust of Erudite openly, certainly not to me. I've been sure he's seen me more as an Erudite pretending to be a Dauntless than anything else. What's made him openly state his feelings about either matter now?

"I would say that's prudent, Sir. I am curious though. What is prompting your concern for their safety within Dauntless? Other than the usual concerns found in the compound, I mean. For that matter," I pause and wonder if I'm about to push him too far with this last question, "what is prompting your doubts?"

Honestly, I don't expect him to answer me and I think that's what's going to happen as he stares me directly me in my eyes for several seconds.

"Amar Salazar and George Wu," He replies finally, surprising me by answering in the first place and by the forceful angry tone he spits those two names out.

"They were both found in the Chasm, suspected suicides," I reply blandly, ignoring the pain the memory of one of those men brings to me.

He nods slowly. "George was before your time but just like Amar, there was no way he took his own life. It's no coincidence that both of them were on Erudite's list and even when we were given no proof they were divergent it was still demanded they be turned over. Which we refused to do. Eric, something happened and it wasn't by Dauntless order or authorization. It's not out of the realm of possibility that it could happen again unless we ensure it doesn't. Jeanine's getting desperate and I don't like it. So, for now, we make sure that no one, especially those two, are handed over until we know more."

I don't bother to hide my anger right now. The thought of something like that happening to Kat is untenable. I let him believe my anger is in regards to being superseded by Erudite. "Then we will do exactly that. I will...personally...make sure of it."

A brief smirk tilts his lips at my reply. "I'm sure you will at that, Eric."

I don't get a chance to finally ask what all his small smirks and remarks are about because of the uproar I hear coming from the Pit. While I can't see what's going on out there I can clearly hear, along with everyone else, the loud cheering, shouting, clapping and stomping. All heads are turned towards the entrance to the dining hall, silence having descended in the room. Then two figures enter the door side by side.

One has my heart-stopping while the other gets it pumping again angrily.

Kat is standing there with a sheepish looking Peter Hayes at her side. His eyes are frantically searching until they land on me and he winces at what he sees, knowing he's in for it for allowing this to happen when I entrusted him with specific instructions. He gave me a shrug and looks at her pointedly as if to say he didn't have a choice in the matter. I dismiss him with a sneer and look back at Kat who's looking pale but beautiful even with the tightness around her eyes that lets me know she's hurting right now.

All of this takes place in the seconds before Max voices his own astonishment out loud. "Well, will you look at that. I thought you said she couldn't move for at least another day?"

I sigh loudly in frustration before I can stop it. "Apparently, I was wrong on both the time estimate and her stubbornness."

The dining hall erupts into the same cacophony as the Pit as the others catch up on what they are seeing. Different stories have been circulated about what happened during capture the only thing that is the same, and that matters, is Kat acted without hesitation and for that she's being celebrated.

I watch as she blushes and looks like she might be about to turn and head back out of the dining hall only to lose sight of her completely when four people have just launched themselves at her and they all go to the ground. I bolt up with a scowl only to feel a hand firmly grab shoulder, stopping me. I start to snarl back at whoever it is that dares to keep me from her only to come face to face with Max.

"I believe Chase and Zach have it covered." Despite my lapse in respect for that second, he doesn't seem upset. But he isn't letting me go either. He motions with his head for me to look and check it out for myself.

Which I do to find that my brothers must have got moving as soon as they saw her enter the door while I sat rooted in place. They are already over there and reaching down to the group on the ground wearing fierce scowls as they pick her friends up and almost toss them away in their effort to get to Kat. When they have the last one off of her, Chase reaches down to Kat and lifts her to her feet still scowling until she comes up laughing. Then that scowl melts and he joins her by shaking his head ruefully and smiling at her.

"I've come to the realization over the years that one should never underestimate a stiff. And she's of particularly strong stock." Max says with a sigh and shakes his head. "Careful, Eric." He mutters very pointedly while looking at me then lets go of my shoulder. "Go see to your initiates. Remember we still need to get her statement, so a trip to your office is in order before she goes to training today."

I nod tersely in reply and take one step forward before he calls my name and stops me. "I also expect her to return to her own bed for the night."

His orders (and implications) are clear. With a tight nod, I head right for where Chase is keeping Kat, knowing I would be on my way towards her as soon as Max released me. I passed several people that make their displeasure known for where I'm heading ranging from 'leave her alone' to things like 'you're lucky she saved your sorry ass, I wouldn't have' and various other insults tossed into the mix. No one is ever bold enough to clearly say them or be obvious enough for me to pick up who it's coming from but I hear them all the same.

I take a deep breath and steel myself as I get closer to her while I let my eyes move over and do an evaluation of her condition. I can't help but see her shifting stiffly and slowly. As if every movement is an act of will and requiring great effort.

"Initiate, I would have thought it would be clear you were to stay put until told otherwise." I grind out loudly enough for everyone to hear and not hiding my displeasure at her being here.

She at least has the grace to look contrite while she nods at my words. "I'm sorry, Sir." She replies respectfully and I notice she's letting the words carry, almost purposely. "I can only say that I was out of it and the only real clear thought was that I couldn't miss any more than I have. I know the stance on missing out on any of the training and I don't expect to be given an exception."

I know what she's doing and it pisses me off. I start to growl this out to her but Chase stops me by clearing his throat.

"Be that as it may, you are going to need to come with me. There are questions we need you to answer now that you are awake." I put my hand on her arm and try to be as gentle as I can while offering support if she needs it.

I see most of her friends scowl at me, while Lynn looks between me and Kat with an expression of knowing, making me wonder what she might have told her and if it's just her she's said anything to. Judging by the angry scowl of Uriah or the worry and fear from Mar, I don't think she has said anything to those two about is in any fashion.

"I'm going with her...please...sir." Tris spits out the demand, pauses, and tones it down by adding more respect at the end. I knew it would be a slim chance getting away without Tris saying something and I was right.

I shake my head tightly in the negative and ignore her instant glare. "Not for the questioning."

"Fine then. I'll wait outside wherever you take her until you're done. I promise I won't leave you alone again, Kat."

Kat smiles at her, pulling away from me with a look to wrap her arms around her sister and whispers something to her before pulling away. "I promise." She says reassuring her of whatever was said. She looks at her friends and nods as to them as well. "I'm going to be at lunch right after training with the others today."

"Kat…" They all start to object at once.

"Enough!" I bark out and pull Kat back towards me. "Let's go." The words come out after I've already started moving us towards the door with Zach and Chase bringing up the rear and ending the conversation with finality.

I know Kat's going to insist on attending training today and I don't know if it will look bad if I fight her on that. On one hand, the activity today is one that she's rather good at and out of anything is the least likely to hurt her any further. On the other hand, I feel if she doesn't need to be there then she should take the day to recover and not push herself. I've been working to contain my frustration as I go back and forth, arguing with myself the entire walk to my office. I've been so wrapped up in my own thing that I hardly notice that Kat's expression got angrier as we moved from the dining hall and through the Pit. When I finally do notice it's because I hear her muttering. I turn my head and strain to hear what she's saying at catch a bit of it.

"Let him rot, my ass, you Eraserhead looking dickhole."

It takes a second for me to figure out what and who the fuck she's talking about until I remember the reaction from some of the people in the Pit as we passed. I know what they thought they saw was me dragging her with me but really I was trying to support her as much as she would let me and she was fighting me on even that little bit. I know she's angry over that. I also know that's only a taste of what is on the horizon when it's discovered she's even my friend much less anything else. At some point, I'm going to have to talk to her about all that but right now I have other things to worry about.

When we get into my office I release the hold on her and let her ease down into a chair with a soft groan. Zach takes the chair beside her while Chase leans against the wall. I go around my desk to my chair and sit down as Zach launches into questioning her on how she's feeling.

"It's important that you be honest about how you're feeling, Kat." He admonishes her when she muttered she's fine at first. "We need to know if what you were hit with might be still attacking your system."

"What was I hit with if they weren't neuro-stim darts?" I know she's avoiding answering just as much as she honestly wants to know what's going on with her.

For some reason, I've taken to carrying around one of the darts I pulled from her back in my jacket or vest pockets. I reach into the one it's in today and pull it, looking at it before pointing to the needle. "Do you see the difference in what you were armed with for capture and what I'm holding?"

Kat doesn't answer right away. She holds her hand out expectantly waiting as I hesitate to hand it over and only doing it because I know there isn't any more of the serum inside of it. She takes a good look at it, turning it over as she does.

"This is what I was hit with?"

"Yes," I replied tersely then look at Zach to continue with the lie we know we're going to need to tell her.

"You had two of those in the back of your legs but you were also hit with eight regular ones that lodged into your back. More than a few of those were lodged deeply into your spine. Which we think is part of what is wrong with you. There's never been a case of direct administration of the neuro-stim darts to the nervous system like it was when they hit there."

She nods while eyeing the dart, analyzing it dispassionately before holding it out for me to take back. I quickly took it back and pocket it.

"The needle is at least double the size of the ones you showed us after telling us about how the darts work. It would have penetrated much more deeply and it even has a slightly wider barb on the tip, making it more painful and difficult to remove. I'm also guessing that makes it more efficient in injecting whatever liquid it is equipped with as well. It makes sense because the vial looks to have double the capacity of the other darts. It would need to be able to release more and in a shorter amount of time before it could be removed. Otherwise, it wouldn't have a maximum effect."

"That's...a pretty fucking dead accurate assessment, kitten. Other than the fact that the serum it contained is not the one Dauntless uses." My hands clench into fists as I take measured breaths to remain calm.

"I suspected as much but what was it exactly?" Her tone is completely calm and accepting of everything so far.

Meanwhile, I'm barely holding it together right now and can't handle even saying it much less thinking about it anymore. Even knowing that we aren't going to tell her everything right now because I still don't think we need to bring up her divergence even with this latest development. Zach's not happy with my decision but I just can't confront it before we need to. I want to know for sure she trusts us completely. Since there is a big chance she knows what she is and she's probably been warned not to tell anyone about it. The second stage starts in a week and that means her fear sims and hopefully enough time to make sure she knows she can trust me.

I hear Zach taking a breath to take over from me and answer her. "It's a serum that is designed to attack the nervous system, princess. With enough of it and long enough exposure, it could destroy it. We think that because the ones in your legs didn't go as deep and they weren't in there as long, that it's not as bad as it could have been. Had it been in your spine and left in for a longer period of time…"

He stops speaking. Unable to continue with the lie. Not when we know now by the simple fact that she's even able to speak and move right now that she's as highly divergent as we feared. She's one of the ones Jeanine salivates over to test any and all serums on until she finally finds ones that can't be resisted and this fact has us even more on edge right now.

"We think that the serum will work it's way out your system completely in a week or so. Until then we're going to have to give you additional meds that will help to neutralize it and there's a good chance you'll continue to experience...things because of it." I inform her after sucking it up and continuing on.

She nods while looking at her hands clasped in her lap. "Like it feeling as if I'm being electrocuted while at the same time sandpaper is being run over my skin. Like it feeling even the air on my skin is setting it on fire, not to mention clothes."

"Has it been that way constantly since you woke up, Kat?" Chase finally speaks up and I hear the pain his voice.

"At first it was intense but now it feels more like background noise. It's still there but I'm able to handle it. There are other flashes of shooting pains, more intense that seem to be mostly down my spine. Which, now that I know I got hit by darts there too, I guess it makes sense. You did say that there have never been direct hits to the spine like that before. I guess I'm turning into one big guinea pig all around here."

"Fuck," Chase grits out and turns away from us to lean against the wall. Zach is barely holding it together as he reaches out and grabs her hand to squeeze it. "Not if I can help it." He says softly but firmly. And I know he's meaning that literally from all of us. Just like I know her offhand joke is what made Chase almost break just then.

"Okay." She clears her throat and looks back at him. "How long will it take for it to all go away?"

"We hope no more than a few weeks." He answers her.

"But there's a chance it will be longer." Once again her tone is completely calm and accepting but this time I see something in her eyes that tells me this is how she's choosing to deal with this. She's trying to not let it break her and I hate that I might be about to do that to her.

"Kitten, there's the chance that it could be…" I stop and squeeze my eyes shut for a second before forcing myself to go on. "Fuck. It could be permanent."

She pales as her eyes widen and her lips tremble just a little before squares her shoulders, lifts her chin and looks me directly in the eye. "I take it this means I'm being cut?"

What. The. Fuck!

"What the fuck?" I blurt out the words running through my mind. "Why would you even think that?"

She gives a casual shrug of her shoulders and I've just about had it with this complacent behavior she's using to mask whatever she's really thinking and feeling. "Dauntless doesn't accept any weakness, Eric. I know they've sent people to the factionless for a lot less and this is definitely something that could make me weak."

I'm up and out of my chair in a blink then cross over to her just as quickly to take her chin in my hand and make her look at me. "Are you going to let it be a weakness, Mary Katherine? Is that what you're telling me right now? That you are giving up?" I bark out at her harshly and purposely using her Abnegation name while inferring she's being a coward, knowing that will draw her out of whatever she's started to descend into right now. "Are you going to let it control you, let it take over your life or make you weaker? Because if that's the case then I can walk you out of the gate right fucking now." I softened my tone and scowl when I see her eyes shining with tears back at me for the first time since we got in my office. "Or are you going to do what I know you are capable of and use it to make you stronger instead? To show the warrior you are and not let it take one single thing from you?"

By the time I'm done issuing my challenge to her, there is that fire I love so much in her eyes and her back stiffens from the defeated posture she was starting to slouch into.

"No, I won't let it make me weaker. I won't let them win."

"Then fucking remember that, Kat. Anytime it gets bad and you think you won't be able to carry on you remember that, and you better remember this as well. I believe in you. We believe in you. If I didn't believe you could do this, you know I would be the first one to tell you the truth even if that meant you leaving."

Everything I say is the truth. All except that last part. I would willingly kill to keep her here if that's what it takes but that's not what she needs to hear right now. Besides, I know it won't be necessary for her. She won't let it come to that. She will fight with everything she has, until her last breath, and won't let this or anything else beat her.

"I will, Eric." She promises me softly with the fire still in her eyes but a smile on her lips for me as well.

I let her chin go and relax to lean on the edge of the front of my desk. "Good," I sigh and rubbed the back of my neck tiredly then pulled my arm down to look at my watch. "Okay. We don't have that long and we need to get these questions out of the way. What do you remember about that night and the attack?"

"I clearly remember everything up until I moved to try and push you and Peter out of the way. After that, it becomes more feelings of pain and disorientation. Do you need to know exactly what I saw and why I reacted as I did?"

"Yes, we need to know for the report and if there is any information that can help the investigation about it," Chase confirms as he walks forward and leaned a hip against the end of my desk.

"When Eric and Peter took point I started to try and cover our sides. I was going back and forth, and something was nagging me, making me feel like we were being watched from those directions as well as the back. I checked on them once, briefly, when I knew we'd been spotted by Four's group and we were about to be engaged. Knowing they had it covered I turned back to cover the sides but when I did something caught my eye towards the rear. It wasn't much really but there were spots in the darkness that was even darker and looked like they were moving. Then there was a brief flash of something that reminded me of when you guys came into the dorm to get us up. The light from a flashlight caught one of your gauges enough to make the metal shine a little and that was exactly what I saw. The shine of metal in the dark. I didn't even have time to call out a warning before a group of men rushed in. I heard the shouts from Four's group letting me know they spotted those groups too. I joined Tank and Edward as they engaged them before completing my turn to cover our sides. I shouldn't have taken so long to do that in the first place. Maybe I would have seen the other group before they got so close. This time I didn't have time to return fire or do anything else other than stop what they were already in the process of doing, and that was aiming and firing towards the people directly at the front and center of me. They were aiming at firing at you Eric, and I just...couldn't let that happen."

Chase must read something in my expression after she finishes telling her story. Or maybe it's something in the air between us as our eyes are locked together.

He clears his throat and I catch him moving forward and motioning to Zach before he stops in front of Kat. "I know you're going to insist on training today but you need to take it easy. You don't have to prove shit and we don't want you hurting yourself more." He leans down presses a kiss to the top of her head before looking back at me, giving me a nod of his head.

"We need to give you more medication to handle your muscle and nerve spasms so I expect you at lunch, Princess," Zach repeats the kiss to the top of her head before he follows Chase out the door and it clicks closed behind them.

It's quiet after they leave, too quiet. But I don't know what to say to fill the space her confession has left behind. It's too fucking big. What the fuck can I say the fact that she's basically just told me she threw herself in front of me and took what could have been bullets because she couldn't let it happen to me? I know what I feel about it and that's an entire mess in of itself. Which would make anything I say a mess because it won't be enough or even the right thing to say.

The one clear thing it is making me feel that I'm fighting so hard against right now is it's making me want to say fuck it to every line I've drawn between us. To say fuck it to every promise I made myself.

But after what she did and thinking I almost lost her, after seeing just how strong my woman is as she fights against the unimaginable pain I know she felt just to put herself through more during training, I know I have to be stronger. If not for the sake of promises I made to myself I can make damn sure I'm strong enough to keep the ones I've made to her regardless if she knows them about them or not.

I sigh and hold out my hand to her. "We need to get going too."

She nods and takes the hand I offered her, letting me pull her up out of the chair. Neither of us let go even as she moves along with me towards the door. Before I can reach for the handle this urge hits me hard and I have no chance of resisting the need for her in my arms for a second before we have to go out of that door and act like we don't mean shit to each other. I turn and carefully tugged her towards me and into my arms before I spin her so that her back is at the door. She gasped at the sudden movement but doesn't resist. Instead, her arms circle my waist and clutch tightly at my back.

I start out just holding her close to my chest while running a hand up and down her back while I work on the words I want to say.

"I know why you did it, Kat." I finally break the silence as I softly try to express a bit of what I'm feeling. "And I... you have to know that I'm not ungrateful for it...but goddamn you can't do that to me again, kitten," I say this as I brush my lips against her temple and pulled her even closer to me. I move a hand from her back where the other is still lightly stroking her, and cup the back of her head tilting it back so we can look at each other.

Though if I'm being honest with myself I'm also thinking hard about kissing her and this would be the perfect set up for it. The entire time I've been holding and stroking her she's been giving the occasional soft gasp and moan. I didn't think they were anything other than sounds of pleasure. Now looking at her face I see pain warring with pleasure in her expression and eyes making me realize there was more to those sounds.

I move my hand to stroke the side of her face, frowning in worry. "Are you in pain right now?"

She immediately starts to shake her head no, a little too vigorously as she gasps out, "No."

"I need to be able to trust you won't lie to me, Kat. So let's try this again. Are you in pain right now?" I demand this from while I pass my hand down her pack again and her expression is all the answer I need.

She strains hard not to let it show, even biting down on her lip to hold in the gasp. Then it hits me that not only is she in pain but every single fucking gasp and moan she's beeing making has been every time I've touched her.

I'm the one hurting her.

I can't step away fast enough, feeling like ten tons of shit for having only been worried about trying to make a move on her when the entire time she was hurting. I'm so angry at myself...and hurt…

"Eric," She gasps my name reaching for me as I pull away and I step further out of her reach.

I shake my head and take a breath, masking everything I feel under a blank expression. "It's time to get to training."

Tears spill out of her eyes as she looks down. I step forward and start to reach out and wipe them away but remember why I can't and that I'll just hurt her again so pull my hand back.

"You never going to touch me again." She whispered brokenly before a sob wracked her body.

It's not lost on me that not once did she shed a tear as I told her she might have to live with a painful and possibly lifelong disability but right now she's crying because of me. No matter how much I want to reassure her this won't stop me, or us...the thought of causing her even a little pain stops me from speaking a lie.

"Well figure this out. I promise." It is the only thing I can manage to finally say.

She nods while scrubbing her hands over her face to wipe away her tears and doesn't look at me as she moves turns to the door. I'm not even a full foot ahead of her as we walk to the training room but it feels like I've never been farther away from her than right now.