Chapter 46: One More Light Part I

Song: One More Light by Linkin Park

That Night

Open your eyes.

I don't want to. I don't know where I am but it's so very comfortable, like I'm floating in a pool of very calm water and I can actually feel it against my body. I don't think I have ever known anything like it. Wherever I am, it's very dark but I'm okay with that; it's a very welcome change to the bright overhead lights of the infirmary. I take a slow, deep breath as I relax. I could stay here forever, quite happily, but I know that my friends and family will get worried if I don't return soon. It's quiet and peaceful, a stark contrast to the pain and suffering of the past few days.

You need to open your eyes, boy. You need to see it. You won't accept it until you do.

I do so and much to my surprise, I'm greeted with a blinding overhead medical light and as I bring my hands up to shield my eyes, I notice the eerie blue glow. What in the world? I look around in confusion, seeing a tray of medical utensils to my right side and beyond that, Pumyra and Tygra with a liger that I don't recognise. My body up to my chest is covered with a white sheet, and the room itself is strange.

The walls are white and various shelves and cabinets line the walls, but the smell is what gets to me; it's an offending mix of blood and harsh cleaning chemicals. Where am I?

"I really don't want to do this Tygra…but I know that we have to."

"I know Pumyra. But he isn't suffering anymore."

"No, we're the ones suffering. Why did he do something so stupid?"

"We may never know."

I sit up then, looking around myself to try to see where I am, and then I see the wall with several metallic doors through the window and I immediately know where I am. But what is this room? I look down at myself, and immediately wish that I didn't.

I see myself laying on the table, my skin ghostly pale and marred with dark bruises and lacerations, my chest marked with the deepest stab wound I think I've ever seen. My fur is matted with blood, and my eyes are taped shut with thin strips of tape. I don't think I've ever seen such a gruesome sight, but for some damn reason I can't bring myself to look away for several minutes.

I…

I'm dead…

I'm actually dead.

I panic, catapulting myself off the table and backing away from the gruesome sight, phasing straight through Tygra as he approaches me. Now that I notice it, I'm not breathing and I don't hear or feel my heart beating. Looking down at myself again, I see that I do have a ghostly blue glow surrounding me, then I remember it. The hill. Grune. The knife. The searing pain of it sinking deep into my chest.

Do you see what you've done now? You've caused your friends and your family such immense pain and suffering. Your son isn't a fully-grown cat yet, and now he has to pick up from where his selfish Father left him abandoned…

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

I sink to the floor in the corner, head in my hands as I sob. Oh, Gods of Thundera, what have I done? What have I done? I never expected to come out of that fight defeated. I let my pride get to me. How could I have been so stupid and arrogant? I've paid the ultimate price for my stupidity and impetuosity this time – this time I've paid with my life. I don't even recognise that critical voice speaking to me. I always knew that my job as Lord of the Thundercats and King of New Thundera carried insane risk but I never quite imagined it to be this bad. Death has always been a threat – a possibility that none of us ever wanted to think about. Losing Lynx-O so long ago had hurt like hell and I carried the guilt of that for so, so many years. And then everything started piling up on me and I let every little thing get to me.

I get to my feet and have to turn away when I see my friends cutting into my chest. An autopsy, I believe. I choose that moment to leave, thinking it better than hanging around and seeing my body being sliced into. I exit the room, having to try and keep myself from doing double-takes when I realise that my feet aren't making any sounds when I walk. I pass by the Hangar on my way to wherever I'm going and I see Panthro – the panther is scrubbing the inside of the Thundertank with what looks to be hot, soapy water and for once he's almost completely silent aside for the odd curse here and there which isn't like him. Knowing fully that he won't be able to see me, I approach and stop in shock when I see the state of the 'Tank; there's dried blood everywhere. And I literally mean everywhere. It's all over the floor, on the walls and even on the roof. I didn't even realise that I lost that much blood.

"P-Panthro?"

I turn when I hear a voice, and see Snarf approaching with a cart with some food on it. The panther stops mopping the blood and watches the little red and yellow cat approach, and I feel so bad when the Snarf lets out an audible gasp upon seeing the state of the Thundertank.

"Sneyarf…Oh, my poor boy…he must…must have been in so much pain…"

I see the way his ears droop as he wipes his tears away, and it feels like my heart is caught in a vice. Panthro comforts him as best as he can, and I realise just how stupid my actions were. Never, not even once did I stop to consider how badly it would affect my friends and family. Not once did I stop to think about how what I was planning was so dangerous. Snarf leaves soon after, and Panthro goes straight back to mopping the 'Tank but growls in anger.

"Damn it! I'll never get this clean!"

I stand there in shock at his outburst, knowing that I have never seen him so angry before. He composes himself eventually, leaning against the side of the vehicle while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Of all the stupidest, reckless, thoughtless things he's ever done, why did he have to go and do this? What the hell did he think he would achieve?"

I sigh when I hear his words and cringe when he slams his fist into the metal, but I wholeheartedly agree with him. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done. And who are the ones who have to pay? The ones who live after you're gone. My thoughts shift to my family then, and how badly this would be affecting them right now. And so, I know right then where I will go next.

…

If only you could feel the agony that you have put her in, Lion-O. All she's ever going to be able to see in her sleep from now is your battered, bleeding body. You died in her arms and she's going to be forced to live with that for the rest of her life. You do know that, right?

I try to drown out the voice as I stand in the doorway of the master bedroom of the Royal Suite, but I can't bring myself to go further. I can't. Knowing that I won't be able to hold my mate in my arms and tell her that I'm always going to be there for her keeps me from approaching. However, I see a smaller shape, laying where I would sleep. I get closer and see my daughter, curled up on her side close to her Mother and wearing one of my old shirts, her cheeks stained with tears.

"Oh Lola, I'm so sorry sweetheart…"

I sit at the foot of the bed, staring out at the sky but all I can see is clouds. I rub my chin then as the emotions overwhelm me, but I jump slightly when I feel the bed move slightly and Lola sits up, slipping out of the bed as she knuckles her eyes and trudges to the bathroom. I walk around to the other side of the bed and get to my knees, gazing at my mate as she sleeps, completely unaware of my presence. I raise my hand to brush a stray lock of her mane from her cheek, and I hear her faint whisper of something before she rolls to her back…

"D-Daddy?"

I look up with a shot when I hear Lola, and I see her looking at me in a mix of shock, horror and bewilderment. I blink, not quite sure what to make of this as I realise that she can see me.

"Lola, you can see me?"

"Y-Yes…I can…"

I hear the waver in her voice and I know that she is seconds away from crying. I immediately go to her and get myself to my knees in front of her so I'm at her height. She backs off ever so slightly but swallows and stands still.

"I-I don't…I don't understand…You died; how can I see you? Am I dreaming?"

"I don't know bab, but you listen to me, okay?"

"Okay Daddy…"

"You promise me that you are going to be a good girl for your Mother. Now that I'm gone, she's going to need all the support that she can get and it will help her if you and your brother listen to her and do as she tells you to. It is not going to be easy but I promise you, it will get easier within time."

"But I don't want this, I want you back! We all do!"

"I know that you do, bab. You don't understand what I would do to be able to be there with you right now."

She goes quiet then so I say my goodbyes and leave as she goes back to bed, but I don't know if I have the strength to walk away as I hear her crying. Leaving is easy but walking away knowing that you might never see that person again? It's the hardest part. I steel my nerves and make my way up to the head of the Lair after checking on my son, standing atop the great stone structure as I watch the city below me. I'd seen the destruction from where we were atop the hill, and it deeply disturbs me to know that Mumm-Ra was evil enough to use my life as a bargaining chip. 'Open the city gates or your King dies.' Well, he certainly wasn't kidding about that part but I just want to know what it was that pushed him to make that plan. How he was able to devise it so well that even I was fooled.

"You're having some very conflicting emotions right now, aren't ya, kid?"

I turn when I hear an unfamiliar voice, seeing a grey-furred winged goatman approaching me. This makes me feel quite uneasy.

"Forgive me if I sound rude but who are you? I don't recall meeting you before…"

"I am Sorgarith, Transporter of Lost Souls and I am here to take you to the Astral where you need to be."

My brow furrows as I frown. Something seems off. Still, I haven't heard everything that he has to tell me.

"I sense your unease but you needn't be alarmed. I was sent here by Jaga to bring you home."

"No…"

"No?"

I take a deep breath.

"I can't leave yet. I can't…I'm not…I'm not ready. I can't leave them; my family. My friends."

"They will be alright. They will mourn for you and will miss you dearly but they will survive – they will be okay. Life goes on and this is all just a part of the Divine Plan of the Gods. You have devoted your entire life to protecting your people but it's time that you went on to the peace that you deserve. Your time here is done, there is nothing here on Thundera for you now and if you stay in the Realm of the Living for too long then you will be sucked into Limbo and then there will be no hope for you – you will be stuck there for all eternity with no hope of escape and you will never see your family or friends once they pass on to…"

"That's enough!"

I groan slightly as I deliberate my choices, but I eventually decide on what's best – for me to move on.

"The best choice that you could make, Lion-O…"

I recognise that voice.

I turn back just as I'm about to walk forward, seeing the dual-headed snake emblem on the jewel that hangs from the goat's neck. No!

Even in death, you are so easy to fool. It's sad, really…

He pushes me, and I feel myself falling backwards through the portal he'd opened. I'm trying to shout but no sound comes out, and I feel the cold darkness grabbing me and pulling me down as Sorgarith's laugher echoes around me and the blue glow fades to a pale grey…

-(BORDER)-

"You're not alone here, Cheetara. We're all with you."

My hand hovers above the sheet as my heart feels like it's about to pound out of my chest. Trying to hold my tears back, I gently grasp it and carefully pull it down but end up breaking down at the sight of my mate who looks so peaceful on the tray in front of me that he may as well just be in a very deep sleep. There's no evidence of the excruciating torture that he went through, but I can't help noticing the Y-shaped suture on his chest.

"An autopsy…?"

"So that we could confirm the cause of death. He passed from a nasty combination of sepsis, starvation, shock and blood loss. It lead to total cardiac arrest, but he passed on instantly when his heart stopped; it's most likely that he never even felt it."

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand when I hear this. It brings me some kind of relief to know that Lion-O didn't suffer when he died, but as I look down at his lifeless face, all I want is for him to open his eyes, sit up and tell us all that it was just some elaborate, cruel joke. But I know that won't happen.

I gently grasp his hand, hating how cold it feels compared to how I remember it feeling. His fur is still soft though, but I hate it. Knowing that the man who I have loved with my entire being for the past almost twenty years, the man who I watched grow up from a cub, is gone from this world breaks me. I was in complete denial up until now, and I break down on his chest, sobbing as Pumyra leaves to give me time alone with him but her presence is soon replaced.

"Mum?"

I don't even look up at Katzeran as I gently stroke my lion's cheek, thinking about the last time I ever kissed him. It feels like so long ago now, and I hate knowing how lonely my nights are going to be now.

"I-"

A wave of sudden nausea hits me and I have to run from the room, my hand clamped to my mouth and I only just make it to the bathroom on time before I bring up the contents of my stomach. I can't stop. Just even thinking about my mate laying completely alone in the morgue makes me sick to my stomach.

Once I leave the bathroom, I see Pumyra standing in the doorway.

"Cheetara, if I say something, do you promise not to overreact?"

"O-of course. What is it?"

"Do you mind if I run a couple of tests on you? I have a bit of a hunch…"

…

"No, it's got to be impossible! Run it again!"

"Cheetara, I'm telling you, I've run it three times already and this machine has never been wrong. You aren't menopausal; you're pregnant. It makes a lot of sense because you were frequently having to stop to be sick during the rescue attempt and your periods stopped…when did they stop?"

"Oh, about…about eight weeks ago."

She chuckles, taking a tube of gel from the cabinet as I lay back against the padded chair.

"And you never once thought that you could be with cub?"

"No, it never crossed my mind once. I genuinely thought I was going into menopause because my mother did around this age…"

I pull my shirt up and the puma squeezes some of the gel onto my stomach, moving the wand around as she smiles before turning the monitor around and pointing to an area on it.

"Look right here…"

I look in disbelief and I definitely can see the tiny cub on the screen, and I can hear the soothing rain-like sound of the little one's heartbeat. I can't believe it. Fresh tears sting my cheeks as Pumyra hands me a tissue, and I dab my eyes as I look at her.

"I don't understand how I'm supposed to deal with this, Pumyra. Lion-O is dead; he's gone and he's never coming back but I'm carrying another one of his cubs? This can't be happening…"

She sits by my side, rubbing my back gently.

"Cheetara, I understand that this is a lot of news for you to take in, especially so soon after your mate passed away. But we're all here to support you as we mourn for him. Here, I have something for you."

She goes to her desk and retrieves a little parcel, and when I carefully undo the paper, I see the beautiful silver locket. Slightly confused, I open it and see the lock of bright crimson hair curled in one half of the trinket, and in the other is a photo of myself and my mate from our wedding day, and I break down into sobs.

"Thank you, Pumyra…" I manage to whisper as she hugs me, "You really have no idea how much this means to me."

"I just wanted to give you something so that even just a small thing for you to remember Lion-O by would be with you forever…"

I see his platinum wedding ring threaded on the chain, and I hold it in my palm. I'd never felt happier than the day that we got married, and it doesn't even feel like it was that long ago. I close my fingers around the ring, and my thoughts immediately drift back to my poor mate.

"Pumyra, how am I supposed to do this?"

She stops and glances back at me, seeming confused.

"I mean how am I supposed to carry on while pregnant? The Father of this little one is laying in a fridge in the morgue and he's never going to know that he has another child."

"We're all going to be there for you, Cheetara. And I'm sure that Lion-O is probably watching over you."

She hugs me, and I feel so much comfort in just that little gesture that it makes me feel better, even for just a moment.

—-(BORDER)—-

"Try again."

I throw the Sword down with an infuriated growl, the tip of the blade sinking into the mire as Snarf's ears droop. He observes as I pace in front of him as Orion and Tygra watch from a distance.

"Snarf, this is hopeless! I'm not ready for this!"

"Sneyarf! That's exactly the same mindset that your Father had when we reached Third Earth after the Exodus. He managed to master the Sword of Omens and so I know that, very soon, you'll do so too-"

"I'm nothing like my Dad! I never have been and I never will be! I literally only know so much about the Sword and rulership, I don't even know how to be the Lord of the Thundercats! Dad…" I sigh, tears of anger and humiliation streaming down my cheeks as I look at the burn on my palm from the handle of the mystical weapon, "Dad only just started teaching me that shit and now look at what the selfish bastard did!"

Snarf's jaw promptly drops.

"Don't you dare talk about your Father with such disrespect, Katzeran K'al'iviryix!" Snarf growls, showing off a terrifying pair of razor-sharp fangs which I had no clue about him having, "You know better than to speak of the dead in such a demeaning way, Sneyarf Sneyarf! Brrrr…I understand that you're mad at him but it's all a natural part of the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I will never understand exactly how you feel about losing him because I never knew my parents. But losing Lion-O? It feels like I've lost my own son and that hurts more than I ever thought damn possible!"

"Snarf, come on , please calm down…"

He's in tears at this point, knuckling his eyes with his little paws as I pick him up and hug him.

"Reow! I raised your Father ever since he was just a newborn cub who was so small that I could lay him in my arms and still have room. Your Grandpa, Lord Claudus, was always too busy during the day with his Kingly duties and so I had the joy of being what essentially was that little boy's Father figure for his whole life. And to have him stolen away at such a young age and in such a painful way? It crushes my heart to know he couldn't be saved this time. Grune will pay for what he's done to us. For what he did to Lion-O. He'll get his karma…"

I growl at the mention of the sabretoothed tiger's name. Just hearing it makes my blood boil.

"I'll make sure of it…He's going to pay for what he did to Dad…"

Snarf looks up at me and is just about to say something when the Sword lets out a loud growl, shocking both myself and the little red and yellow cat as Panthro and Tygra come over. I look down at the weapon and kneel to pick it up, my hands closing around the cold metal of the handle. Remembering what my Father had done hundreds of times, I bring it up to my eyes.

"Sword of Omens, give me Sight Beyond Sight."

I jump in shock when I feel the ancient power coursing through my veins, my vision clouding at the corners before, to my pure amazement, I see a clear vision of a winged goatman. Why is the Sword showing me this? I watch the vision closely as I watch him walking through the Lair.

"What is it, Katzeran?"

"I don't know, Tygra…Looks like some kind of-"

I nearly drop the Sword when I see my Father in the vision. The goat is following him through the entire Lair, and I feel my heart sink when the goat shoves him into a portal.

"My Dad's in trouble…He was targeted by a winged goat creature, and was pushed into a portal. Wherever he is, it's cold and dark and he's so scared and alone…"

I don't realise that I'm shaking until Tygra takes the Sword and sits me down. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I feel so sick to my stomach that I'm worried I'll throw up.

"I have to help him."

To Be Continued…