A/N: I just wanted to take a second to say thank everyone who read the original run of this story for sticking with me when I decided to redo the whole darn thing. (Thanks to my guest reviewer for your comments, it really gave me encouragement) I definitely will be continuing on with the story! I honestly hope to finish all of my stories even if it is taking me a bit more time than I would have ever thought it would. So, here's another chapter for you my loves and hopefully I will have another posted either before the end of the weekend but definitely next week!

Disclaimer: V Roth owns the universe that I run amuck in.

Chapter 42 - A Little Violence Never Hurt Anyone

Kat

I watch Eric leaving and feel the same frustrated, pent up feeling that I have since our first kiss on the roof. I don't think he did it on purpose, leaving me like this, but he also damn well knows he is judging by the smirk on his face before he walks out his door.

Zach turns towards me, smiling but his eyes crinkled with worry. "We have time before you and Chase have to leave, want to finish watching the movie?"

I frown as I think for a moment then shake my head. "I don't think I could sit still. Could we go see if my sister is up yet? I...my bad dream last night was about her and...I would feel better seeing her."

Chase nods in understanding. "Yeah, we can head down there right now. That will give me time to go check on my people. Lauren has been pretty useless at getting them up the night after she parties." He huffs this last part out angrily.

I can't help but feel sorry for him. I haven't interacted with Lauren much myself but what I have has only confirmed everything I've heard about her from Lynn. That's one part of the classes combining after the first stage that I'm not looking forward to, having to deal with her.

Zach stays behind to lock up so Chase and I head out by ourselves. As we are walking I feel the need to say something to him about last night. I guess he was thinking the same thing and beat me to it by looking over at me as he nudges my side with his elbow playfully, his small smile making the sides of his eyes crinkle.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're really okay after last night."

I nod and blush slightly. "I'm better than okay. Really. I was just thinking that I wanted to thank you for being there for me last night. Your advice helped me a lot."

He smiles at me before he looks forward again and sighs softly. "I'll always be there for you, sweetheart, and I'm glad I was able to help last night too."

"I don't know that I would be the person to get advice from but I can say I'm a really good listener. So, if you ever need anyone to vent to and just listen, then I'll be here for you too, Chase."

"I appreciate that, Kat. More than you could know. Thank you." Chase says with a smile as we stop just outside of the dorm.

I can hear muffled laughter from inside the dorm that draws our attention. "I'm going to go see if Tris is up and if she's eaten breakfast yet."

"Okay. Just remember the plan for today and go into your focusing techniques starting at the first fight. Got it?" Chase's tone switched like lightning from being friendly and casual into his stern instructor mode.

I smirk slightly, nod then salute him even as I start to walk away from him. "Will do, sir."

I hear his chuckle behind the closed door and go in search of my sister. Since the room is open it doesn't take me long to realize that Tris isn't in the dorm. In fact, I notice this before I even step off the last step. I'm about to turn around and head to the dining hall to see if I can find her there but something catches my attention and holds me back.

I noticed that her bed isn't made and I can see the clothes she usually sleeps in along with some others on top of the bed, mixed in with her blanket.

That isn't like Tris at all. She wouldn't leave her things out and her bed a mess like that unless something happened, but all that isn't really worrying by itself. She could very well have just forgotten or rushed out after she didn't see me here when she woke up. After what happened during capture I can tell she's feeling even more protective of me than normal. So, I could see her waking up and not finding me there than setting off to make sure I'm okay.

What's worrying to me is that surrounding and near her bed is a small group of initiates, laughing loudly about something. Molly, Drew, and Sally are the only ones in the dorm. The loudest of these is Molly who is standing closest to Tris's bed and holding up a towel while she gestures and laughing her ass off. Sally and Drew, who are more often than not with her now as the official leader of that little clique, are standing in a little huddle snickering at whatever she's saying. I step off the last step and continue into the dorm room, walking slowly and making my way towards the group.

I almost miss that Al is in the room, quietly hunkered on his bed in a corner of the room. His face is apple red and he looks flustered. When my eyes meet his, he flinches and gets a very guilty expression in his eyes.

"Oh, look who showed up. Just in time to give us another show since the first one was so pathetic. Although, it will probably be just as bad as the one your sister put on for us. Are you two really even old enough to have chosen? Because you look like little girls to me."

I keep walking forward, I wouldn't be able to stop even if I tried. Not now that I have an idea of what happened here. The towel in her hands, the clothes and unmade bed of my sisters, the expressions on Al and Sally's faces now that they are facing me. Not to mention Molly's words...

The rage I feel is white-hot, so unlike how I've felt in the past.

Maybe this is a product of all my training with Eric that even though I'm so angry I'm not losing it as I had in the past. I have a clear mind as I think about all the ways I'm going to make these people pay for hurting my sister. Something of this must be showing because Sally doesn't wait for me to get a step closer before she scrambles from the room with a squeak. I faintly hear Al must be doing the same thing behind me.

They are the smart ones. Molly and Drew...well, they've proved just how unintelligent they are on more than one occasion before.

They are still laughing, shouting complaints at the ones leaving and calling them cowards for running from the little stiff. My lips curl up into a wicked grin as I take slow measured breaths and adrenaline starts to flood my system.

"What the hell are you smiling for? Are you too stupid to recognize an insult when you hear one? Should I put it in simpler terms for you? You are unfuckable, stiff. Only someone desp…."

"What the hell is going on in here!" Someone barks from behind me, piercing through the rage only slightly. Not enough to stop me from still moving forward towards Molly, fully planning to unleash hell on her. It takes a hand being clamped on one of my shoulders and holding me back to keep me in place. "I asked you a question, initiates. What's going on here?"

Four comes even with me but still doesn't let go because I am still trying to shake him off and walk forward. His nails curl in and bite into my shoulder he grabs me so hard. I turn my head to glare at him but he's looking at the other two people in the room with a cold glare of his own.

"Nothing, sir." Molly simpers out her reply.

"Get to the training room, all of you."

"Yes, sir," Molly drops the towel onto Tris's bed with a smirk and proceeds to walk away.

I tense up, wanting to strike out only to hiss in pain when Four digs in deeper using a pressure point to make me stay put. When they are past us and starting up the stairs he finally looks at me, his jaw clenching.

"Whatever it is, whatever it was, Kat….you need to let it go."

Everything in me wants to turn my rage onto him for those words.

"Let. It. Go?" I hiss each word slowly, punctuated by a pause. I breathe in slowly, my nostrils flaring as I try to reign myself in until I can finally manage a tight smile. "Sure, Four. I can do that. I can let the insults and taunts Molly was hurling at me go, no problem. Her opinion means shit to me." I raise my hand forcefully push his hand from where he still has my shoulder gripped. "I can even let go of the insults about Tris she made because again, her opinion means shit. But tell me if you honestly believe they stopped at just words when everything suggests that they at the very least got a little physical with her here and the worst-case scenario actually assaulted her? Look at my sister's bed where the clothes she would have put on after a shower are still laying at the end of it along with her nightclothes. Care to take a guess where that towel Molly had in her hand came from? That is not something I can or will let go and I don't care who I have to go through to get to them, no one is going to stop me. Not. Even. You."

I can practically see the struggle going on inside Four's head right now. The battle between his need to protect those he cares about versus his desire to avoid any kind of unnecessary conflict or violence. I know he's trying to figure out some way to do both.

His lips are thinned and his jaw is clenched as he shakes his head. "Don't do anything stupid, Kat. You head to the training room and I'll go look for Tris."

"Fine." I snap out an agreement just to get him off my back, still planning on hurting Molly as soon as I had the chance. He releases his hold on me and I start to step away but he stops me.

"I arranged with Max for you to serve your punishment with me and got authorization to take you out of the compound from him."

Oh no…

"What? How did you do that? Why would you do that?" I try not to let my panic come through, but inside I'm freaking out.

This being authorized means that the guys will know about it. I was already predicting that Eric would be livid that I'm going to be spending any time with Four but the fact that it will be out of the compound…

This...this is bad…

"I can't just take you out of the compound, Kat. There would be too much risk that it would be discovered. I told Max that since you worked with the factionless before transferring and your Mom has a good reputation with them, then it might be better for you to approach them to get information about the attack than sending our usual guys after them. It's close enough to the truth and he agreed. No one but us three will know that's what we're doing. Everyone else is being told we are going to check cameras in the area."

I nod, still frowning. It's not going to matter what is being officially recorded, Eric is going to find out. I just hope he Eric doesn't decide to tag along or follow us. I could see him doing either one of those things.

"Get to the training room, Kat." Four sighs out then turns to hurry out of the dorm to search for my sister.

That snapped me out of my worries over tonight. I frowned heavily and stormed out of the dorm, determined to head to the training room and look for her but leave to find her if I don't find her there. I don't get far out of the dorm before I run into Peter, literally crashing into him as we both round the same corner.

"Whoa there, stiff." Peter reaches out to stop me from falling back on my ass when I bounce off his chest. His eyes narrowed as he looks at me. "You look like your about too.."

I don't let him finish before I push him forcefully with a hiss and glare at him with all the rage and hate I'm feeling. "Were you with your friends in the dorm, Peter? Did you take part in what they did?"

He holds up his hands, his eyes a little wide while he shakes his head. "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about, stiff. I've spent most of the morning looking for your tiny ass. I swear I don't know how one little girl gets lost so damn easily."

I scowled at him wondering why he was looking for me. "Where I was is none of your business, but I can assure you I wasn't lost. If you must know, I have punishments every morning for the foreseeable future, remember?"

"Oh yeah, those." He says, rolling his eyes with a sigh then reaching up and scratching his head. "Look, I really have no clue what you were talking about. I left the dorm as soon as I woke up and haven't been back since."

I eye him before turning and start walking again, heading to the training room. Peter follows me, keeping a respectful distance between us. Just as we get to the door I turn my head and glare at him. "You better hope I don't find out differently, Peter."

"Fan-fucking-tastic," I hear him muttering behind me as I slaw into the training room.

I eye the room from the doorway as I slowly walk in but I'm not seeing my sister anywhere. I watch as Peter makes his way over to his friends wearing an angry scowl. I say friends, but I honestly don't know if they are actually friends anymore because he's always wandering away from them whenever they try to hang around him like he's distancing himself from them. Not that I blame him if he is that's what he's doing. But more often than not that leaves him hanging around me or my friends. He never quite gets involved but we have also stopped trying to guess what he's up to or let it bother us anymore.

I watch them as he approaches, and I can tell by their smirks and animated conversation they aren't wasting time in relaying whatever they have been up to. I stalk further into the room but not far enough that I can't watch the door. Shortly after I've taken up position I see Four come in. He surveys the room and catches my eye then subtly shakes his head, letting me know he wasn't able to find her either.

I'm about to leave when several minutes later Tris finally comes in and I know...I see it in her eyes. Whatever they did was bad enough to really and truly piss her off. She doesn't give anyone a second glance and seems to be focused on the board, stalking towards it with stiff determination. I automatically head towards her direction, meeting her halfway and following her. Knowing her as I do, and how I would feel, I let her have her moment of quiet.

Unlike me, her friends aren't picking up on her body language and start launching questions at her. The ones from Al have me eyeing him with suspicion and venom, wondering what he's playing at when I clearly saw him in the dorm. Maybe he wasn't there for whatever actually happened but he knows that something did happen. But he's playing like he wasn't in the dorm for whatever reason and it's pissing me off.

Tris doesn't answer any of them. She just keeps her eyes on the board, watching as Four slowly copies the names from the paper he's holding onto the board. Her friends either get the message or get bored and drift off but I stay in place, right beside her. I finally see her glance at me from the side of her eyes before looking back at the board.

"I don't want to talk about it, Kat. I don't feel like talking it out or anything like that. What I want to do...is...I want to…"

She stops and starts, gritting her teeth and having trouble getting it out. I nod knowingly and shrug. "I know...so do it. Use it. No hesitation."

She looks over at me fully for the first time and gives me a small tight smile then nods before we both look back at the board. Waiting for Four to finish writing the pairings down is like torture and I look away so I don't feel tempted to smack him on the back of his head for doing this to us. This is when I see Eric walking in and I breathe just a bit easier now that he's here. I send a tight smile his way before I turn back to wait and see who we are fighting with Tris.

When Four moves away I see her expression changed and a look of satisfaction flashes in her eyes that I can't help but mirror when I see the name beside hers.

Molly.

Considering her mood, it was the perfect pairing. The only downside to her fight is that it's one of the last for the day while mine is towards the middle of the. I start my focusing techniques right away. With Eric here and not out on patrols like I worried I have no reason to not be completely focused on the fights and getting even with Drew and Molly.

Four starts to call our attention but Eric's voice interrupts him, booming out and making those that hadn't seen him enter jump a little.

"Everyone listen up!" He pauses, making sure he got everyone's attention and crosses his arms over his chest looking over the group angrily. "This is the last day of stage one and the last day of fights. The pairings are more advanced. Because of this, there will be no weapons or physical training today. We are going to do a few warm-up exercises then go right into fights. What you do while you are waiting for your match is up to you…" He pauses and his eyes flick over to me briefly and his lips thin slightly before he continues. "I highly advise that you take that time to focus and remember that these are scored heavily. Remember your training, put everything you have into your fight and show us what you have."

His words were said calmly enough, even though they were delivered coldly as he looked over the entire group. But I knew by the way he briefly looked at me before turning to the group that those words were mainly for me. I knew he didn't miss my state when he entered the training room and I barely looked at him before turning my glare back on where Molly and Drew were standing. He was telling me that I better not let it affect me during either Tris's fight or mine. I let him know I understood by a simple small nod of my head.

Four huffed out and called for us to start our warm-up and I moved off to have some space where I could start the exercises and do my meditations. I was hoping to be left alone but that wasn't to be. Peter followed me with a pinched look.

"I swear, I didn't know what they were going to do, stiff." He murmurs lowly enough for me to hear him.

I turn my head to the side to look at him and I see how earnest his expression is, at how his eyes flick over to where Molly and Drew and the flash of anger...maybe even loathing...that flashes there for a second. For some reason, I believe him so I let him know this with a shrug.

"I believe you."

He looks at me, surprised for a second before he lets out a relieved breath and shakes his head. "She did it on purpose you know. They wanted to shake you two up so you wouldn't do well today. So they wanted to unsettle or intimidate Tris, but you, they wanted to piss you off enough that you might lose it like you have before when it comes to your sister. They have it out for you two and are dead set on getting you cut or making your lives hell enough that you just leave."

I don't respond right away as I think about this. We always knew we would be targets because of the cuts that will happen and I know that what happened today is mild to what could and most likely will happen. It's only going to get worse. Eric has given me veiled warnings that it will.

"Why are you telling me all of this, Peter?" I ask him quietly after switching to the next stretch.

"Stiff….I couldn't even fucking tell you at this point. I'm not sure why myself. But I did and it's up to you what you do with the information." He huffs out.

His frustration and expression cause me to smile a little, then I can't help but laugh because I know he's going to hate what I'm about to say next. "Thank you, Peter." I barely get that out without laughing and try hard to bite back my smile.

Peter stops dead in his tracks and stands up straight looking at me with wide eyes and scowling at me.

"Whatever, stiff." He snarls then storms away to take a place further away from me to continue his stretches.

I start mine back, chuckling lightly and smiling. Every once in a while I look over at Peter and catch him looking at me. Once he even seems to have a tiny smile when our eyes meet.

Wait...am I becoming friends with Peter Hayes?

I shake my head and scoff at myself because there's no way that's happening. Though I can admit...I don't dislike him as much as I used to.

We barely finish the last stretch when Eric calls for the first two fighters to hit the mat. The tension is hight in everyone while we occupy ourselves by either watching the fighters as they are called in quick succession. Tris and I stood near each other but weren't talking much, we were both too focused and caught up in our thoughts. With me working hard to keep my cool every time I heard Molly or Drew make some smart hissed comment aimed at Tris, and Tris remaining stone silent. Not even talking to her friends or trying to reassure them before they went into their fights like she normally would.

I tried to take the time to evaluate my plan for my fight against Edward. There was only so much planning I could do though. I knew it would come down to having a clear head when it to time. The other thing I knew for a fact was that this was not a fight that I would come out of with barely any hits or bruising. Even knowing this, I'm looking forward to it. This is something I can see Edward shares with me as I glance at him from time to time too. His eye would catch mine and we couldn't help but grin a little.

When our names are called I walk into the ring and face him calmly. We share one more smile of excitement, even bumping fists together and wishing each other luck before good-naturedly ribbing each other about needing it. But as soon as Eric calls for us to get ready we each shut down in a way...becoming serious and switching into fighting mode.

"Begin," Eric barks out. That single word cracks at the end, or at least it seems like it does to me.

I barely have time to register how worried his tone sounded to me. Edward came out fast and hard...and it was on.

~~Worth Fighting For~~

Eric

"Now who's the coward.." I mutter to myself angrily as I hover in a dark alcove close to the clinic, waiting for Kat to be brought here to be seen like I know she's going to need to be after her fight against Edward.

I hadn't been able to stick around. I didn't trust myself not to give myself away by going to her or going after Edward like I wanted to after watching him hurt Kat. I can't believe I pulled a move straight out of fucking Four's playbook and left because I couldn't handle my shit.

Fuck that.

At least I watched the fucking fight. I just had to leave right after I saw she finally got him down. Fucking number boy couldn't even handle that.

I stiffen when I hear voices movement down the hallway. I glance out and scowl as I see Edward being helped by Will and Drew. My fists clench and I force myself to pull back and let them pass me by. It feels like I wait for forever for Kat to come along but I breathe a little easier when I see that Peter is the one helping her to be seen to. I still have to restrain myself from doing more than snarling at him when I tell him to get lost and pull her into the dark with me.

"I'm fine, Eric." Kat sighs out tiredly as she tries to tell me this for the fifth time, earning a scowl from me.

"What have I told you about telling me that when I fucking know you aren't fine!" I bark out and grit my teeth as I try and calm down and not take out my anger on her.

"Okay then...I'm better than I could have been and I'm honestly better than I was after my fight with Drew." She huffs out and jerks her face back from my probing at her bloody lip.

"And how is your back?" I grunt out, daring her to lie to me about that. She winces and faces me, not even trying to deny it and puts her hand on my chest and sighs.

"Eric, you can't blame him for going for a weak spot. If the situation were reversed you would have been pissed if I didn't go for it if I knew he had one too."

I don't bother responding to that observation. I can't bring myself to admit that she's right when I'm so goddamn angry at the little shithead for using that against her. Something she wouldn't have had to be used against her if it hadn't been for me.

I can only grumble a little and press my lips to her forehead and hold her close for a second before I know I have to get her to be seen and then take my ass back to the training room.

Shauna is on duty, and I let Kat head to the bed she's indicated I give a few murmured orders to her for what I want her to do when she's taking care of Kat. I ignore the smirk she's wearing and doesn't bother to hide when she nods and says she'll make sure to get it done.

I look back at Kat and see she's on a bed right beside Edward's and I get my first good look at the boy. When I see the state of his face and how bloody it is I feel the beginnings of a smile and quickly leave before anyone else sees me like this.

~~Worth Fighting For~~

Kat

Edward is smiling at me from his bed directly across from mine, his nose and mouth a bloody mess just as surely as mine is. The nurse attending him is clucking disapprovingly and muttering lowly under her breath about something that I can't make out. While he's being worked on and looked over by one nurse I'm having the same done on me by Shauna. She's not any happier with what she's seeing than his nurse but she's not showing it much beyond her lips being pursed and her eyes narrowed and focused on me.

"How is the other pain right now?" She asks me softly, making sure that only I can hear the question.

She's just started to work on the gash above my eye and into my eyebrow, injecting something that I'm pretty sure will be one of those lesser healing serums that make the healing process go faster.

"Honestly, it hurts like a bitch up and down my spine but it'll pass," I say with a shrug that hurts like hell to do.

Every part of my back, but mostly right down my spine, feels like ground zero for lighting strikes. I took several hits there during the fight. Some because I purposely maneuvered myself into and knew I would take a hit there so that I could get one on Edward. Others I got because he targeted the area specifically. He didn't do this until I hadn't been able to hold in a scream when one of the hits I purposely took there made contact. Until then, he hadn't realized it was a weak spot on me.

I give him credit that he tried not to hit that area until the absolute last when he needed to hit the most effective areas to get the upper hand. That was my weakest point and he had to go for it.

I won in the end, despite all that but just very, very barely. It wasn't a knockout but I did knock the wind out of him with a punch that I had just seen in the movie we were watching this morning. It was one of the things the guys went over with me and even demonstrated a bit of on the best way for me to use it, given my stature. Just before I used that I had been struggling and reacting defensively. My mind was racing, trying to come up with something, anything, to give me the upper hand.

That one move came to mind and I went with it. It shocked him and had literally knocked the breath out of him enough that I was then able to land a solid spin kick to his head that he went to the ground, disorientated.

I don't hold anything that happened in the fight against Edward but I can't say the same for Eric. He hadn't even stayed to call the fight though I don't know when exactly he walked out. I just know that when I looked up he wasn't next to Four like he had been the last I had seen him. I wasn't sure what made him leave until he took over from Peter bringing me here. Then I found out how pissed off he is at Edward. He had muttered something about having to leave before he hurt Edward as bad as he had been hurting me.

I sigh at the memory of that because I have a feeling Eric isn't going to let this go even though he has no real reason to be mad at Edward.

Shauna mirrors my sigh in front of me although hers is in response to my answer about my pain. She nods and finishes working on my eyebrow without saying much else. I'm sure she already knows that I won't be taking any of the meds I know she wants to try and give me.

"You really aren't upset with me?" Edward asks for about the twentieth time since I got here.

Shauna moves away for a second, allowing me to have a clear view of him and to shake my head while smiling at him. "I'm really not upset at you, Edward. I know you tried not to go for those spots but it was a weakness and you needed to do it eventually. I would have been pissed if you didn't go all out during our fight."

I hear Shauna grumbling off to the side of me but don't hear what she might be saying before she grabs my head and starts to dab something on the cuts all over my face. I hiss a little at the sting and tingling feeling then eye her to see she's smirking as she works. Whatever she's using isn't the normal cleaner that has been used on me in the past, this one feels awfully weird and she's looking way too pleased as she's using it. An idea of what it could be hits me and I can't help but roll my eyes before concentrating on Edward again when he responds to me.

"I'm glad you aren't pissed. I mean, while we were fighting, I admit I didn't feel bad but after...you know out of the moment, I did. Is it messed up to say that I really, really enjoyed our fight? Fighting against you was a challenge...you made me have to think fast and work harder than I ever thought I would have to. No offense." He adds the last part, blushing a little as he says this.

I smile at him, laughing a little. "No offense taken. I enjoyed it too so we're both messed up I guess."

Shauna snorts out a laugh and shakes her head at us. "Welcome to Dauntless. Land of the clinically insane. You two will fit right in."

Edward and I both start laughing hard, wincing at the action. Then Edward sobers a little as he looks at me while our nurses finish working on us.

"You realize that you won all your fights, right? That will mean major points for being undefeated."

I frown and shrug. "I don't know. It could but they didn't tell us how the points or rankings work. But guessing by the progression of skill level the fights seemed to be matched up by…"

"Who you won against and their skill level will determine if you won or lost points." Edward finishes for me with a nod, which has me nodding back and continuing on with my thoughts about my fights.

"At least two of my fights weren't exactly of the same skill level, so I'm not sure how that will affect me." I admit honestly.

Myra and Al were the fights I worried about most but I don't voice this out loud. I know by his expression Edward is thinking about his girlfriend and that she was one of the two fights I mentioned. How could he not when she has lost every single one of her fights? I can say that she didn't give up, unlike Al has continued to do.

Thinking about Myra, though, has me debating on asking Edward a question that has been burning in my mind from the start.

"You're wondering if she came because of me aren't you?" Edward voices softly the exact thought I had been having, reminding me once again that I let things show too openly at times. I give him a timid nod and apologetic smile. He sighs and looks at his hands. "I wish I could honestly say that she didn't, but she did. Despite us talking about it before choosing day and deciding together that we wouldn't follow each other if the test said we should go somewhere different. We didn't talk about our results after we got them but I knew deep down she didn't get Dauntless. If I had to guess it would have been Amity. As much as we promised each other we wouldn't...when it came time…" He trails off, unable to say more.

"Edward, have you talked about...you know…"

He shakes his head and looks back up at me, pain in his eyes. "We haven't been able to bring ourselves to do that yet."

"Okay guys," Shauna walks back over with our charts in her hands, interrupting us. "You two are done and are cleared to go back to the training room if you want. Or you can hang out here. Your choice." She smirks as she looks at me, already knowing my answer.

"I'm fine with going back." Edward shrugs as he answers and I just nod enthusiastically causing Shauna to laugh.

"By the way, Lynn lost her fight with Dante earlier. So there goes her perfect record. She's going to be ecstatic that you won but also kinda miffed that you beat her."

I groan a little before smiling at my friend's older sister. "Maybe I can bribe her out of her grumpy mood with my slice of cake?"

"That would do it." Shauna agrees, still smiling as she waves the two of us away.

As soon as Edward and I are out free of the clinic I pick up the pace and walk as fast as I can towards the training room. I didn't want to miss Tris's fight. Edward just kept pace with me wearing a knowing smile. I got a few stern looks from both Four and Eric when I burst into the training room, huffing and puffing, holding my side. I didn't care. I just made it back in time. I was only able to nod reassuringly at Tris before she walked into the ring. It looked like she still hadn't been talking and was standing off to the side away from everyone when I came in.

She looked fairly calm when she entered the ring but that changed very quickly as soon as Molly got up there and started to taunt her first thing. Anger flared to life again in my sister's eyes and it had me gritting my teeth and willing Tris to keep it together and not make the same mistakes I make when I'm so angry.

In the end, it wasn't even a long fight. Tris did struggle at first, mostly as she tried to find an opening but when she did find it...man did she go after it with a vengeance. All it took was that one slip by Molly then Tris went at her hard, fast and dirty. Not willing to let Molly have a chance to recover. It was flawless and I couldn't stop myself from cheering loudly as she was called as the winner.

That turned sour really fast when Four looked at her then angrily told her to go walk it off, like she was in the wrong for doing what it took to win. I honestly think the only reason I was able to hold my tongue was because I had been working so hard to keep my focus during my sister's fight. As Tris left though, I followed behind her quickly, hoping the look I sent Eric was enough to get me out of shit with anyone for leaving too but not really caring if it didn't.

When I caught up to her, Tris looked at me and gave me a small smile then looped her arm through mine. We walked in quiet and I let her pick the destination, ending up near an alcove that had a couple of water fountains in it. I think we were just outside of the private and smaller training rooms that the leaders use. Tris decides this is a good place and sits on the floor with her back against the wall. I slide down next to her and lean against her side.

"Was it really bad of me, how I went after her?" Tris finally asks me after several minutes of quiet.

I shake my head, trying not to growl and let my anger at Four come out too much. "No, Tris. Don't let Four get to you." I see her wince a little at my tone and the way I say his name, spitting it out, and I sigh heavily. "Look...this is new to us, this fighting and using our aggressive sides. We have to learn ourselves and what works for us to focus, to control the sides we've never used before and the emotions that we honestly weren't allowed to have. Just because you are good at fighting and might be a little more aggressive in a fight doesn't mean you are a bad person or some kind of monster. And I know you are thinking that the reason it was bad is that you were angry at Molly and it probably felt good to be able to get back at her. But tell me this, if you hadn't been matched against her would you have looked to fight her outside of training or tried to get back at her at all?"

I know the answer to this already. Regardless of how pissed my sister had been that isn't something she would have done. Out of the two of us, that's something I am much more likely to do. In fact, I had planned on it and still might if I'm being honest with myself.

"No, I would have been upset that I couldn't face her but I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do it either." She sighs and closes her eyes. "I hate that I let them get to me though. I don't even know why it upset me so much. Maybe it was just their words...or feeling violated on top of it…"

That feeling of cold rage starts to build in me again and I can feel my body start to tremble a little, drawing a concerned look from Tris. I take breaths to try and calm myself enough to ask her what happened, knowing if she thinks I'm already upset she won't tell me.

"I went to the dorm, most likely just after you left, so I can guess some of what happened...but do you want to talk about it?"

She takes a big breath before letting it out and shrugging. "I overslept. I meant to wake up with you and do my training the same time you would be leaving to do...whatever it is he has you doing in the mornings but you were already gone. I decided to take a shower but didn't realize the clothes I pulled out were the ones we were first given and they didn't fit anymore. I went to get more, wrapped up in my towel but they blocked my way, taunting me. At first, all it was was just words. But when I wasn't responding and moved to get around them they yanked my towel off me. They kept grabbing at me and blocking my way from getting clothes from my trunk so I had to grab the sleep clothes from on top of yours and pull those on. I ran away with them laughing and yelling that I had the body of a little girl." Her tone is strained and angry by the end of her telling me what happened.

It takes real work to get myself calm enough to speak again. The entire time I think of ways to get even, all the time wanting nothing more than to beat the crap out of Drew and Molly but knowing that wouldn't be the best way to go about it. It would probably be the most satisfying for me but not the smartest. No, the smartest way, the most effective way, to get even would to make sure that we outrank her and drive her ranking down. It's the non-violent way and the one I'm sure would help to ease the little bit of conscience my sister is suffering at the moment.

Then again, a little violence never hurt anyone and Four would get over it...eventually.

I internally huff at myself and shake off my violent fantasies, reminding myself that my sister needs rational advice right now and I might be channeling Eric too much.

"I don't know about you, Tris, but since coming to Dauntless it feels like I have become more aware of myself...and my differences...than I ever was before. I mean, as a woman." I start out slowly, planning what I'm going to say and hoping I don't give too much away about where this is coming from.

She snorts and rests her head against the wall. "Yeah, no kidding. I didn't think I would ever think something like this but I keep wondering why anyone would go for me over the women here."

I can't help but smile at her. It isn't one of joy. It's of shared misery and insecurity. Considering I had just been where she is...and if I'm being truthful...I still am no matter how much Eric tried to reassure me. I don't know if those kinds of doubts will ever go away once planted in my mind. So I answer her truthfully based on how my conversation with Eric went and how it made me feel then and now.

"I would like to think that the person that I look towards having any kind of relationship with wouldn't be the kind of person that would go on looks alone. I hope that he would appreciate and desire me because of the ways I'm different in looks and personality and accepts me just as I am. I also would like to think that I will do the same for him."

Tris smiles at me with a chuckle. "Very wise of you, Kat. That's all good and well to hope for but it doesn't make this...insecurity...go away. And I honestly hope for the same but how will we know that they feel that way?"

I pause and tilt my head in thought at this. "I honestly don't know that feeling insecure ever goes away. Maybe it will get better or what we feel insecure about right now, like our looks, will change into something else. But I think that there will probably always be one thing or another that makes us feel that way. I know I've felt this way before just about different things." I stop myself before I admit that the biggest insecurity I had before was not measuring up to her back in Abnegation. "As far as knowing if that person feels that way about you...I guess the only way to know would be to ask or talk about it with them when you find them."

Easier said than done, especially in the case of dealing with Tobias Eaton. I know him and getting him to open up about anything was like pulling teeth. I also know that if he wants to make this work with my sister he needs to change that because Tris won't stand for secrets and silence. This is one of the things I plan on really having it out with him about tonight once we are out of the compound. I need him to talk to my sister, to be the one to tell her about us so I could finally be able to talk to her about it as well. More importantly, I know he needs to open up to her and be open with her, for her to be happy, which is what I want more than anything for Tris.

Tris sighs beside me, nodding as she takes in my words and we sit there a bit longer, both of us lost in our thoughts. It isn't until we hear each other's stomachs, hers just gurgles a little while mine growls loudly, that we begin to get up. Laughing I stand first then reach down to help her up and we head to the dining hall walking with our arms looped together and feeling just a bit better and lighter for having had this moment together.

~~Worth Fighting For~~

"There you two are! You almost had a search party coming after you." Lynn is standing outside of the dining hall to greet us when we finally get there. She looked tense as hell and relaxed once she sees us but I don't miss the pointed look she gives me specifically when she announces that someone was almost sent out to find me.

As soon as we step into the actual dining hall and I see the expressions of a few of the people from our table, I know she was not exaggerating. We weren't all that late for the meal, there were still spaces open at the table, but it got crowded fast. Will and Christina joined us and that caused a bunch of rearranging where I ended up sandwiched between Lynn and Eric. Tris tried to sit as far from Eric as she could but ended up across the table from me in between Uri and Zeke.

The table was buzzing with excited talk about the fights as all the initiates, mainly the Dauntless-born retold how their fights went. How many they won or lost and other details like that. Lynn wasn't as upset about her losing the undefeated record and me beating her in that regard but she still eagerly took my cake bribe. I had tried to play down my record at first because I honestly don't count those two fights I won. All this did was piss her and my sister off and started a big debate that made it worse than if I had just taken the damn compliment in the first place because the whole table tried to get involved. Tris's scowled me into submission and then smirked proudly when I conceded that I do in fact have a perfect fight record.

The only person that had something bad to say about this was Christina and when she tried Will cut her off and shut that down by instead jovially suggesting that we should all celebrate that we survived fights….and came out of them mostly intact.

The suggested form of celebration was tattoos. I agreed pretty easily. I did want to get the second tattoo I planned on getting to go along with the first one I got and I was also debating piercings but decided to wait until I healed up more from my injuries during our fights. Mar convinced Tris and me to go to the shops to find something special to wear for visiting day. We were both reluctant at first. It felt like getting our hopes up for something we both knew wasn't going to happen.

Then I think we both realized that it didn't have to be about getting something to wear for our parents regardless if they ended up coming or not, but just getting something nice and special for us...just because we could do things like that now. So we agreed and I even asked Lynn to help me out with a hairstyle I wanted to try. Something completely different from what I normally do, while still not requiring me to get my haircut or colored...that wasn't something I wanted to do just yet if at all. I still wanted a change though.

If I was going to be standing in the Pit on visiting day I would be taking a page out of Eric's book. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and took in his appearance, how sharp he looked, and wondered if he felt the need to armor himself like I'm feeling and that's why he's so meticulous about his appearance.

Eric hasn't spoken much to anyone at the table so far but I could tell he was listening closely and even though his expression changes aren't obvious it feels like I'm hyper tuned to them. Like when I initially shot down Mar's suggestion of going to get myself something to wear for visiting day, I felt the slight shift of his body as he tensed. It was from head to toe. I saw the twitch at the side of his eye and how the sides of his mouth tugged downwards a little. And when his eyes flicked to mine, all it took was one glance at them to see his disapproval and how it felt like he was mentally trying to tell me that I was letting my Abnegation show again.

So when we all started talking about our plans for how we are going to celebrate turned to talk about tattoos and piercings, I couldn't help but notice how Eric tuned in as Uri and I were talking about my latest tattoo that I got. He hadn't seen it yet or at least hadn't gotten a really close look at it if he had. But he seemed really interested as I explained to Uri the lines that formed the triangle-shaped border were actually a real language called morse code and that's why they aren't solid lines. I was thankful he didn't ask what they said because I hadn't planned on anyone other than me knowing that.

As it was, I could tell Eric would most likely be asking about that later but the gleam in his eye warned me that right now he had something else in mind. I found out what when he shifted subtly until I realized he had his hand on my knee. Then I felt him tapping his finger against it. At first, I didn't pick up on the pattern he was tapping out. I was more concerned with enjoying his touch and if anyone else noticed. When I realized that there was a definite pattern to his tapping finally I couldn't help the smile playing on my lips as I started to decode it.

The first thing was small and I could tell he was testing me first to see if I really did know it and if I could decode it properly. It did take him repeating the pattern three times before I got it, having never actually used it like this before.

~Morse code

That was his first message. Once I had that down, I shifted and casually let my arm fall to my side and lay my hand on top of his leg then tapped out my reply.

~Yes

He was much quicker to pick up on my reply and was tapping out something else with a slight smirk after just one time from me.

~Interesting

He paused and made sure I had that then continued on.

~Dinner (pause) Tonight (pause) Apartment

It's funny how he never actually uttered one word but I was hearing him saying them in my mind. Even mentally they translated as a command. This impression was also reinforced by the fact that he didn't even wait for a reply from me before we withdrew his hand. He did brush his hand against mine, giving it a gentle squeeze before I removed mine as well. I spent the rest of the lunch hour feeling giddy anticipation for dinner with Eric and the hope that we would finally be alone together again.

Lunch hour was winding down as those that were on duty started to filter out when Eric called out for all the leaders and members involved in initiation to report to the conference room, then made his way out ahead of them. Chase, Four, and Lauren followed soon after, their demeanors completely different to the lighthearted one they mostly had during lunch.

I noticed that several of the other initiates watched them go and sobered up as well at the reminder that in just a few day's time, several of us would be gone. It seemed to make this night of celebration together even more important.

The only request I made of my friends was to be allowed to shower and get cleaned up before they hauled me around the compound. At the mention of taking a shower, Tris had noticeably paled and gone silent. Lynn put things together with some comments my sister and I had made about today's events but instead of making a big deal of things she made a casual suggestion that we all go to the Dauntless-born dorms to get cleaned up and changed. Tris and I were both grateful for the suggestion and took them up on it immediately.

Mar took us all getting dressed together as an opportunity to do what she has been praying for a chance to do and give me and my sister something she called mini-makeovers. Basically she wanted free reign to do our makeup and hair, which I was not going to let happen, but Tris didn't object too. So my friends decided to take a sister each. Mar got Tris and Lynn got me.

At least they both asked us what kind of hairstyle we wanted instead of just pushing one on us. After looking over a few things Mar had to show different styles that didn't require us to get anything cut or colored, we decided on a different up-do each.

I went with a braid and style that was called a faux mohawk. The sides were braided tight to the scalp but on top and down the middle the braid was a large, chunky braid that I tucked into the back instead of letting it hang down. I fell in love with it. It looked Dauntless and nothing like the up-do I wore in Abnegation but still did the job of getting my hair out of the way and off my neck.

Tris also wanted something that would keep her hair out of her way but didn't want it to look anything like what we had to wear before. She opted for something called a fishtail braid that she allowed to wear long and down her back. It suited my sister perfectly. It was definitely Dauntless, but there was just a touch of Abnegation to it. We took a bit longer in getting ready but once we had our hair done and we both thought we learned how to do the styles well enough to do on our own, we joined the others.

~~Worth Fighting For~~

Shopping was first on the agenda. Something that was already painful enough for me but was a bit more painful in this instance because Christina decided to join us. I remembered my resolution to try and get along better with her and it seemed like she might be trying to do the same thing as well. Or at least she seemed to be making more of an effort not to say everything on her mind, even when I could tell she badly wanted to. The effort was noted on both sides though, and it made the shopping trip a little less painless than I think it would have been in the past. After that was done we met up with the guys, since they had bowed out of any shopping trip, and made our way to the tattoo parlor.

Bud was all too smug when I told him I was there to get the tattoo to match my very first one. I could tell he was mentally congratulating himself for being right that I would definitely make it past the first stage.

"Here we go, just had to grab the drawings from the back," Bud says as he brings out both the drawings that we made up on my first visit. I eye him questioningly, considering I only need the second one but he just smiles and points in the direction of where my friends and sister are all gathered. It's Lynn who speaks up after Mar prodding her to.

"They're both really cool so we decided to get them too."

"Really?" I ask in surprise. I'm not really surprised that the three Dauntless-born want them, they had already said as much to me when I got mine done. It's the others that take me by surprise, Will and Tris.

"Yeah," Will answers with a grin. "Though I'm probably not going to go with the same place as you, I definitely want them. They're kinda perfect for a former nose like me, don't you think."

His comment made Bud snort and smirk at me when I shot him a playful glare.

Tris nodded her agreement that she liked them too...and like Will would be going with them somewhere else.

"I'll pass," Christina drawled out in a bored tone and with a shrug before she wandered over to look at the other available designs displayed on the walls with Al shuffling off behind her after muttering that he hadn't decided on anything yet.

I kept my mouth shut at this. I was honestly kind of relieved neither of them would be getting the tattoos but I hated seeing Will and Tris's expressions falling a little when she rolled her eyes disdainfully at the design. I didn't want to make a big deal of it and ruin the night by causing a fight but I promised myself that if she acted like that again I would be giving her a piece of my mind.

The rest of the day passed way too quickly for me. Getting the tattoos didn't take long with both Bud and Tori working on us. The longest part of it had been for those that weren't getting them behind the ear deciding where they wanted them instead. Lynn was the first to finish hers after I got mine done because she went with the same placement as me. I took that opportunity to take her to the side and asked her to help me out later with distracting the others so I could slip away for dinner with Eric.

When it came time Lynn created a distraction and I quickly made my exit. Halfway to Eric's apartment, I was met by Zach who smiled at me and complimented my new hairdo as we walked to Eric's apartment. I remembered this morning and how Eric hadn't wanted to be alone with me and am pretty sure that dinner is going to be the same.

As eager as I had been this morning for an opportunity I'm not disappointed we won't be alone. It's just now hitting me what I will be doing in just a few hours, and to accomplish this I'm going to have to lie to Eric...and I'm feeling like a nervous wreck because of it.

The thing that helps, the only thing that helps, and that firms up my resolve is imagining what could have happened that night of capture. Images of Eric being the one laying on the ground hurt, even bleeding and dying, because instead of darts he's being struck by real bullets...they haunt me.

Eric couldn't know that his intense training session with me to break me from my habit of letting emotion cloud my focus would ever be used so that I would be able to face him and lie...but it's what needed to be done. Because there was no way I was going to let anything happen to him...not if I have anything to say about it.