Redux-Worth Fighting For

by Lunaschild2016

Committed to their city and faction, both were driven by their pasts and loyalties. Duty and orders were no longer enough and they both found more than they had hoped for. They found something worth fighting for. Eric/OC Divergent AU (Language, Romance, Sexual Content, Angst, Tragedy)

57. No FateBut What We Make

Chapter 56 - No Fate...But What We Make

Kat

I don't get to go again, much to my disappointment, for several reasons.

The first is that the guards are now at their stations, and while Eric and Chase explained that they had a valid reason for the two of them being there, which was to check them in and then personally check the zip-line, they wouldn't be able to explain if they showed up again with me tagging along.

The next reason is that Chase and Eric are needed back to finish out some last-minute things for training and also to make sure that the rest of Visiting day goes okay and gets wrapped up. While it is allowed for non-faction members to remain for as long as they want on Visiting day they are asked to leave the Pit area so it can be opened up for regular business. Only the initiates have a cut off time because they and their visitors are restricted to the Pit for the day. So part of what Eric and Chase need to do is make sure everyone that's supposed to be gone is now gone.

I wondered this morning why it wasn't as busy as it normally is after breakfast but put it down to everyone off doing whatever it is Dauntless prefers to do for visiting day.

The last reasons for not begging harder to go zip-lining again are actually my own. I wanted to see my sister and find out how she's doing after the visit from our parents. I'm also feeling incredibly guilty that it seemed like she didn't get any time with dad. To me, it felt like it had been more important for her to have the relief of guilt she has been feeling since coming here and I know that his reaction was a big part of what kept making her feel that guilt. I do plan to tell her everything he said, minus the stuff about the Tobias incident, but that just didn't seem sufficient to me. The other reason I need to find her is that I want to be the one to tell her about Peter. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it would be better to get that shocking news from someone else. Then all I need to do is come up with something to say to her that won't be a lie that could explain such a radical shift between the two of us.

I let out a sigh of frustration then decide to deal with that when I got back to Dauntless. Eric squeezes my waist and his chest rumbles with his question of what's wrong against my back.

We're on the train now, rocketing back to Dauntless. The feelings from earlier are starting to fade a little faster than I care for. I turn in Eric's arms and look up at him. He's still carrying some of the relaxed air about him but his hair isn't wild anymore, he somehow got that back under control, and there is a little bit of the tension I'm used to seeing around his eyes creeping back in.

"I'm not looking forward to losing all this."

"Losing what, kitten?" He asks, frowning down at me.

"All that from earlier and right now. Everything I felt and experienced with you. The things I've come to understand about myself. It felt good, freeing even, but I know that rationally I can't feel that way all the time. It's just not possible. So, I've decided that I won't let myself forget. I'm going to get a tangible reminder to carry with me all the time so when I need it most I can look at it and it will remind me of today."

I see comprehension dawn in his eyes but I state it out loud anyways. For myself as well him and our two friends nearby. "I've decided I'm going to get a tattoo. Something that will help me remember not just the feeling of flying through the air, but also a reminder of what you three helped me realize and accept today. I'm going to take it and use it as a reminder for myself, especially when times are hard like you said."

His lips curl into a smile and his eyes are shining with approval. "What were you thinking the tattoo would be of and where would you want to get it?" He asks after a minute where Zach and Chase speak up with their approval of the plan too.

The placement of the tattoo I already know. I've been wanting to get something to help disguise a few scars I have on my ribs and back on one side but I didn't want to just get something random in order to cover them up. It seems to be fitting for it to be placed there.

"I know for certain I where I want it and that would be on my right side. Mainly on my ribs and possibly going around to the back depending on the design."

I pause and use my hand to indicate the areas, catching a slight look being shared between Eric and Chase but not knowing what it means before Eric asks me about the tattoo design itself. I'm honestly at a loss at first, until Zach suggests I try something. He tells me to close my eyes and say out loud what I want the tattoo to represent and then tell them what images, if any, come up as I'm describing things. I feel silly at first but I do as Zach suggested, I close my eyes but it's Eric's quiet voice that guides me along as he has me describe them to him.

I'm not all that surprised that the panther was the primary image that came to mind, not considering that I was telling them that I want a reminder to stay strong, be vigilant, and protect those I care about. I also wasn't surprised that the animal seemed to be made more of shadow and smoke, only becoming solid when it was really needed. It did say that the panther is my shadow self so it makes sense it would seem to be made of shadows in my mind. What did surprise me was the flood of images that came along anytime I focused on the feeling of protectiveness because they were all animals as well. It took a bit longer, and I was hesitant to reveal them wondering what the heck was up now. With gentle coaxing from Eric I realized that any time I thought of a specific person, a specific animal ghosted through my mind.

When I'm done I open my eyes and find Eric looking at me intently. "Kat," He says pausing almost as if his hesitant. "You said you were thinking of getting this done tonight, right?"

I nod in confirmation while replying. "Yeah, after I found my sister and I've spent some time with her, I was going to go to see if I could get worked in. I'm not sure if I will since Bud seems to be busy pretty busy on a normal day and with all the initiates getting time off I'm thinking it might be even busier for him."

He nods slowly. "Yeah, he probably will but that's not why I was asking. I wanted to ask if you would wait before doing this?"

I can't help but frown at him for asking that even after I just said I wanted to get it before the feelings of today could fade entirely. "Why?"

He takes a breath and looks away from me. "For one, I would like to be there but I can't do that if you get it when everyone is going to be in the tattoo parlor...or even at the parlor at all."

I bite my lower lip in thought, frowning even harder when he looks back at me with those damned blue eyes piercing into me. Eric doesn't do puppy dog eyes but what he does is even more lethal and seems to be my own version of Superman's kryptonite.

"I kind of have to go to the tattoo parlor to get it done, Eric," I mutter eventually after a bit of a contest of wills between us.

My response has him smirking instantly because I didn't say no. "Not necessarily. If I could arrange it, would you let me be there for this, Kat?"

For once, Eric doesn't simply make it a command or statement of what will happen regardless of what I want. Something about that along with a slight bit of vulnerability I can see lurking in his eyes does me in.

I can't just give in so easily though, can I?

Eric reaches up and cups the side of my face, stroking his thumb over my skin while he waits for my answer causing me to sigh in pleasure and my resistance to melt.

Damn him!

"How would you arrange it?" I ask him softly after closing my eyes and nodding.

I open them back up to see him smiling at me. "I'll call Bud and have him come to my apartment. He's done it before when I got mine done and didn't want to do it in the parlor. Like you said though, it's going to be busy so he's going to be needed, probably right up until lights out if not beyond it since they don't really close down. I'll work out the time with him, and even the design you were thinking of, then one of us will let you know when it's set for."

"Okay, Eric." I concede finally.

When he smiles he looks so freaking happy, not smug at all, and I wonder why I was being so stubborn about the time I was getting it done when what really matters is the reasons for getting it in the first place.

It's good to see that little bit of tension around his eyes erased again even if it will only be for the remainder of the train ride together.

****Worth Fighting For*****

Chase and Eric split off from me and Zach before we even got off the train. They took an earlier jump and went into a completely different entrance while Zach and I went to one that was closer to the area his office is at, allowing us to get there quickly and without being seen. When I realized that dinner was in just a couple of hours, I decided to take Zach up on his offer to stay and hang out in his office while he finished some paperwork. I picked the Dauntless factions handbook to read while I wait.

The book details all the parts of our manifesto, laws, chain of command, and various other details that had been left out of Faction history books in school or that I hadn't found out from another source. I spotted it the last time I was with him and he set it aside to give to me but hadn't gotten around to it yet.

"They should just give us all one to read as soon as we get here," I mutter and slump into the chair opposite his then start thumbing through it.

"I can already see the smug grin on Eric's face when I tell him what you're reading and what you said. He's been pushing for that, among other things, since he became a leader." He smirks while shuffling through some paperwork.

"Why hasn't it been approved?" I snap the book closed and sit up in my chair as I look at him.

"It boils down to politics, Kat. Everything the factions do has to be run through procedures within the faction as wel as with the council. However, when it comes to anything to do with initiation, for all factions, there is a final approval that comes strictly from the council itself no matter what the faction needs or wants. The cuts we're making this year, they weren't Dauntless suggested. They were mandated to us in order to fit within the budget we've been given this year. There are a lot of variables that determine the budget itself but I can tell you there are two factions that are the main reason we do or don't have the things we need to operate. I'm sure you can guess what factions they are."

"Abnegation and Erudite," I sigh dejectedly and see him nodding. "I know what the deal is with Abnegation but I don't understand why Erudite wouldn't want us to have the things we need. It doesn't seem like the logical thing and with how they feel about that, I would think they would go out of their way to do what they could for us."

Zach scoffs, laughing and shaking his head. "Hardly. Erudite doesn't give anything without getting something for themselves and it's always greater than, not equal to, their concessions. It's a struggle just to get them to provide enough of the items needed to maintain the compound on all levels, much less anything that would be considered an advancement. They grudgingly provided us with phones, laptops, and communicators. Even those they provide only enough for the people who are ranked high enough or that are in one of the essential operational positions to get either the phone or laptop. Anyone else has to pay a significant amount of points just to get one and most don't want to do that. The communicators are issued out to the patrols, even those are only given on a permanent basis to the people that are assigned to places where they can't return to the compound each night. The ones that live here have to check a communicator out daily and turn it in after each shift for the next shift to check out theirs. It's all just a fucking nightmare and honestly, I think by now everyone is just tired of fighting the same battle for even the small shit."

"How does anyone expect Dauntless to be able to do our jobs if that's the case?"

"They don't care how we have to do things, only that it gets done." Zach shrugs and looks up from his work to me with an expression that the answer should be obvious, and I guess it is from what he's telling me. "Eric's said that he's heard a representative of Erudite say during a council budget meeting that we 'just have to deal with it' or 'make it work'. Sure, they've said the other factions are being similarly affected, but I personally don't believe it. Erudite continues to run their power at all times of the day, night and season despite insisting the rest of us minimize our usage. They are constantly manufacturing and releasing newer versions of the same pieces of tech while insisting that all the older devices be turned over to them, and still exacting a cost for the replacements only to then put the old stuff in storage to let it collect dust. They hoard tech instead of making it as needed by mass-producing it. But they still charge far too much so that no one can afford it and it just sits in storage in their sector that no one else has access to. Raze has said Johanna in Amity once agreed to adopt some of our contact and administration processes for their own faction's form of leadership but haven't been able to afford more than a few old computers and communicators because any point balances they do have, it has to be spent to get the things they need from Erudite for their various greenhouses, fisheries, and fields. Even that isn't really sufficient enough to keep their production levels up. Amity keeps us all fed and still isn't enough to get them to care."

My mood sours considerably at these revelations and Zach senses this, so he gets back to his work and encourages me to do the same. I open up my book again and start reading, just not as eagerly as I had before.

I know it's odd to be eager to read something that is so dry and boring but I don't find it boring. Even the Abnegation handbook I was forced to read wasn't all that boring. At least, not the first time I was made to read it. The second and third times I barely got through without wanting to pull my hair out.

I'm a little ways in when he gets a message on his phone that causes him to frown a little before speaking up. "So, the deal with Peter...do you think there's any chance he's interested you in that way at all?"

I take my time answering, worrying my bottom lip before I shake my head, denying it. "I can admit that I worried about it at first when I saw he seemed to always be lurking around me but I've dismissed that pretty much from the beginning. I honestly think he's just...curious...about me...and a bit about Tris too...because of his mom. There are things he's said and the way he's reacted to us that made me believe she might have been Abnegation and transferred into Candor. Now that I've met her I think I can safely confirm she was a transfer from there but I can also safely guess that she never really stopped acting like an Abnegation for whatever reason. What I'm not sure about is if what happened was because of Peter's dad or not. I think he was part of the reason Peter did what he did. He was saying some pretty awful things to him before he pulled that stunt and I'm sure he just wanted to shut him up."

"I heard what he was saying to him, I think everyone within a few feet of him did. Why do you think that had anything to do with why he thought claiming you two are together would shut him up?" Zach asks, not even bothering to hide his interest right now.

"I think he mostly did it for his mom. He wanted her to meet me for some reason and I think he was hoping that maybe she would see me as a girl from Abnegation who was able to leave that all behind me. Not only that, but my parents seemed to accept my choice. I don't know the history but it seemed important to him that she see all that. As far as the other part, I think he just wanted to stop his dad from continuing to make snide comments and putting him down anymore, and for some reason, he thought if his dad thought he had a girlfriend then it might work."

Zach nods and thankfully accepts that I don't mention what the man was making snide comments about or what he was implying. I think Zach can put it all together for himself.

"Why did you want to know?" I ask him after a few seconds of silence and he sighs and shakes his head.

"Eric's insisting I deal with Peter. He's still pissed off about the entire thing. I've already told him that I suspected Peter did it on a spur of the moment for the same reasons you've just said but he wants me to make certain of that and to make sure Peter 'knows his place'." He gestures with air quotes and chuckles right after.

I smile as I imagine the tone Eric would have had if he was here giving the order in person and I agree that it's better if Zach handles Peter.

Zach goes back to working while I go back to reading and before I know it, it's time for dinner. He walks with me to find my sister and friends in the dining hall. As we are crossing the Pit we end up splitting off from each other. Zach wanted to catch up with Peter before he could go into the dining hall and when he saw that Lynn was waiting for me he broke off and walked over to intercept him where Peter had entered the Pit.

Lynn starts up immediately as we walk together the rest of the way to the dining hall letting me know how our friends and my sister reacted to the news of Peter. Mar is staying quiet for now and only said that she would wait to see how Peter and I are together. Lynn thinks she might not really believe we have been together but that we might get together now that Peter has made a move. Uri is not happy and has been pretty vocal about it but after Lynn, Mar, Shauna...and most importantly his own mom...ganged up on him, he's gone silent too. Zeke just said he's going to be watching him.

They were able to find my sister eventually. She was wandering around the compound and it took asking Zeke for help that they were able to find her at all. Despite Lynn telling him to keep his mouth shut about it, Uri couldn't help letting the news slip and asking Tris if she had any idea about me and Peter.

I groaned at hearing this news and immediately asked my friend if Tris said anything or looked upset. Lynn said she did look upset but she looked that way before Uri even said anything. Also, Tris hasn't said anything to any of them about the news other than she had no idea but would talk to me about it when I showed up.

I know the second we walk into the dining hall that something is very off with Tris and I don't think it's because of Peter. It could be because of what I was afraid of, and that she's upset she didn't get to spend time with dad, but I don't think so. The table she's sitting at is the one I normally sit at with my friends. The usual group is there, minus anyone that's involved with running initiation. Her friends, however, are not sitting at the table. Will, Christina and Al are all sitting at the one the transfers seem to have claimed as their own. I'm not surprised that Will isn't at our table today, not after the incident with his sister earlier and I can never predict when Christina will deign to grace us with her presence. Al has never managed to have enough courage to sit anywhere near where Eric will be so he's not a surprise either regardless that Eric isn't even here.

"So what is up that entire Peter incident and what are you going to do about it?" Lynn whispers to me as we move up in line.

"I don't know why he did it, but Zach is going to talk to him. He also suggested to me and Eric that we should just let everyone think Peter and I are together for now."

Lynn's scowling and I can tell she doesn't like the plan at all but it's not like I like it much better either. I can't say much more than that since it doesn't take us long to get our food but I do whisper to her that I'll talk to her about that more when we can talk privately.

"Hey guys," I greet everyone and take a seat beside my sister. She smiles at me, a genuine smile, but there's a tightness around her eyes.

"Hey," She greets me back and looks down at her food again.

As I'm arranging the stuff on my tray, from the corner of my eye, I catch her looking up and over at the table where her friends are. As soon as she sees Al waving at her, her eyes snap away and she shifts uncomfortably. It's not the first time I've seen her look uncomfortable around Al but this is different, she almost looks a little angry as well.

"You okay?" I can't stop myself from asking her and as expected she just shrugs it off with a nod.

"Yeah, I guess I'm still just processing everything from today."

I knew she was telling me the truth but in the same way I do, by being vague in my answer. I also knew better than to try and press her to get anything else than that from her. Honestly, I don't have the right to demand anything from her when I'm keeping so much from her. What I can and will do is arrange for some time for just the two of us to spend together soon.

Uri was quick to claim the rest of tonight and possibly tomorrow as well. He wants to take us to the part of Dauntless that's been set up with climbing walls and obstacle courses and all manner of other things. Dependents generally claim that area and have games there. I think he even mentioned paintball guns being involved.

I also resolve to keep a better eye on things with Al and if she continues to act uncomfortable then I might break the promise to myself that I wouldn't try and fight my sister's battles for her when I know she can handle them on her own.

****Worth Fighting For****

There is much more to Dauntless entertainment-wise than just what I've seen in the pit and even that place has more to it than it just being a party central, somewhere to get tattooed and pierced, or other various things to change a person's look. The faction has all kinds of ways to entertain oneself and keep occupied, we just haven't much opportunity to do any of that so far. That was something my friends were anxious to remedy as soon as possible.

This was all discussed and voted on over dinner. I wasn't alone in feeling overwhelmed with the options available, Tris was too. Of course, Abnegation would find all of this indulgent, and in a way it is, but I've since come to see having all these options to occupy and entertain is extremely necessary here in Dauntless. The people in the faction just have way too much energy and restlessness in them. I think it would become dangerous not to have some way to channel all that.

Dependents certainly need something to keep them occupied when they aren't in school since Dauntless doesn't require them to do anything like volunteer work or the other things my old faction did required of us. Not only that but the majority of parents, single or not, hold working positions in Dauntless that can keep them away from home for long hours. This resulted in the dependents over a certain age being left mostly unsupervised.

Which is why places like this exist.

The room is enormous. It's as big if not bigger than the transfer training room. It feels like every inch of it's either filled with people or stuff. The majority of the people are kids. Here there are members that work to maintain the equipment and serve as attendants to the younger kids that can't be completely left to their own devices but they keep an eye out for everyone as well. Finally, the unspoken question I've had since I got here of where are all the little children, has been answered. They all seem to be here in this cavernous room. I wouldn't call it a playground exactly because there are activities for all ages here, but there is certainly a lot of playing going on.

It's all broken up into areas for specific activities. From climbing walls of different heights and difficulties, to obstacle courses with different levels, to the paintball area that's set up for teams to play against each other; there is something for everyone here. There is even an area I didn't know what to make of at first when I saw kids being launched into the air. Tris and I had to have it explained to us that the area is made of trampolines, even portions of the wall, with some mats thrown in for a little cushioning.

The sounds from kids of all ages yelling, laughing and shrieking is overwhelming. It's so bad that I think that I can feel the beginning of a headache coming on. Uri is looking around, frowning, and desperately talking to the Dauntless members in charge of making sure none of the kids kill themselves, trying to arrange for some time for our group in the area that's set up for the paintball battles. We already dismissed trying to work our way into the climbing walls and obstacle courses because it's so crowded.

"Uri, the younger kids will all be in school tomorrow...maybe we can do this then." Mar tries to placate her boyfriend to ease his disappointment.

He starts muttering something about kids being a damn nuisance, which has Lynn grumbling that just a few weeks ago Uri was still considered one of those 'kids', and still acts like one, so he has no room to talk. He ignores her and continues to try and worm our way in.

Tris seems to be in a better mood now that we are away from the dining hall. She even walked with me, our arms linked together while we listened to our friends tell us about what did for their visiting day.

I was relieved when she didn't seem to be upset with me about Peter although she did say she was surprised and asked when it happened. I could only mutter that it was a recent development and that after capture I saw a different side of Peter. I don't know if she believed me but she thankfully accepted the answer with a nod and a look of contemplation. Now she's smiling and laughing along with Mar as the two of them try to reason with Uri.

It's during this time that I'm able to have a bit more privacy to talk with Lynn. At least enough to give her a general idea about what's going with me and Eric. She becomes almost insufferable when she realizes I'm hedging around saying that Eric and I are together now, then she waves away my reasoning that he's the one that said he didn't know what we are. She then floors me by agreeing with Zach that using Peter as a cover might be a good thing to do, though she wished it could have been someone else.

"So, are you going to give me the dirty deets?" She quietly asks me with a smirk on her lips.

My face is flaming as I scowl at her. "No!" I hiss at her under my breath. "Why would you even want that kind of information? Do you really want to be stuck with images of the two of us?" She's messing with me but it takes getting over my embarrassment to realize that and then try and get her back.

She stops laughing at my red face and sobers. "Yeah, no. I can do without all that. But seriously, I'm dying to know how this all went down."

I groan and sigh. "Fine, but how about we save that for when we have more time and there's no chance of being overheard." I glance around us nervously.

"Will this require more beers?" Lynn asks laughing and then laughs even harder at my instant reaction to the mention of that foul brew.

"Never. Again." I vow solemnly.

"Don't worry, I won't really inflict that torture on you again. I think I know a few drinks that both you and Tris might like better." We watch as Uri turns towards us looking dejected and Lynn sighs. "In fact, it's looking like you two will be trying them out tonight if we have any hope of keeping Uri from whining the entire time."

Despite Mar's best effort, she isn't able to get him to stop pouting so Lynn steps up to bat.

"Alright, on to plan b. We've already seen Kat drunk, now it's Tris turn."

I choke on a laugh as the mood instantly shifts. Tris looks like a combination of a deer in headlights and having seen a ghost while Uri is smiling so hard his face might crack.

"You're evil." I mutter to Lynn who just smirks and winks at me before leading us all to the Pit.

Zach found me shortly after we got there and had found a place to hang out. Peter wasn't with him, for which I was grateful. He didn't stay long either, just long enough to let me know that I needed to set my watch for a specific time and that he would meet me in the dorm corridor to take me to Eric.

It was decided that Lynn and Shauna would be the ones getting drinks for the girls while Zeke handled the beers for everyone else since a few of the Dauntless-born and a couple of the members we are friendly with, joined us in hanging out.

"So, tell me again why you don't like beer?" Tank asked me after Zeke and another guy returned loaded up with drinks for everyone that wanted one and I very firmly passed on the offer.

"Because beer tastes like piss smells and it's not worth putting myself through trying to stomach it." I promptly snapped out sassily, knowing he was just teasing me.

A few of the guys were either in the middle of taking their first drinks or were about to and I saw a couple of them pausing then sniffing their bottles. There was already laughter at my analogy but when they realized what almost everyone seemed to be doing that laughter got much louder.

"Well, that's the first time I've heard that description for it, but I can't deny it fits." Tank smirks and takes a dramatic big swallow from his beer then pretends to be holding in a gag.

"I don't think I ever want to get drunk. I might not have seen you while drunk but watching you the day after you did was enough to put me off the idea." Tris informs me quietly everyone around us starts to joke around and enjoy their drinks. Uri and Mar are beside us but they are wrapped up in each other after he casually referred to her as his girlfriend when talking to one of the other guys, making their relationship official and public.

I laugh, nodding agreement. "Yeah, I was completely miserable. I think a big part of my dislike for beer isn't just the taste but the memory of how sick I was that morning after."

"Well, let's hope whatever it is that Shauna and Lynn have in their hands won't cause a replay of that, but double this time." Tris pointed to where the two girls are approaching from.

Shauna is actually carrying what looks like two of the water pitchers from the dining hall but it's filled with something dark red. Lynn is carrying a stack of cups in one hand and in the other she has a paper bag.

Mar bounces over to join us once they reach the table. "Oh, what do we have here?"

"The pitcher has a punch in it that I really like called bloody rum punch." Shauna explains as she sets the pitchers down on the table.

"And I have a few other things I thought you guys could at least try and see if you like them. There are three types of beer in the bag that I think should taste better than the kind Kat finds so disgusting."

My sister and I wrinkled our noses as soon as Lynn mentioned beer, my stomach started churning just at the thought of it. I trust Lynn though and I know that once I've said I don't like something or that I don't want to try it again she won't try and push me. Especially about this, she already felt horrible about me getting so drunk I was sick and then even worse when her sister laid into her about letting me drink after getting a head injury. So I know if anything, both Lynn and Shauna have managed to get things with the least amount of alcohol in them for us so there won't be a repeat of that night.

"Okay." I say with a nod and smile at the two of them. "I'll at least take a sip of the dreaded beer but honestly that punch smells really good. I'll probably stick with that."

"Same," Tris replied to the questioning looks she got with a nod but was still looking unsure. I can't blame her, my experience scarred her so bad she hasn't wanted to even think about drinking before tonight.

Before coming to Dauntless I hadn't wondered about how each faction handled the needs and wastes of their population. I always kind of thought they were the same but once I realized that Dauntless used plastic and glass bottles and had stores that sell products to take home I found out how wrong I was.

All the factions have some kind of system in place to reuse the containers that their food products come in as well as other types of waste. It was one of the first things Erudite helped to perfect when the city was founded and it resulted in having a fairly clean city, at least compared to what the history books say about what it was like in large populated areas in the past. I knew this existed in theory, of course, but had never really experienced before coming to Dauntless. Abnegation still had some waste but most everything we had could and was used again without having to be sent for cleaning or recycling. If it did have to be cleaned, we did it ourselves.

I'm reminded of what systems are in place for Dauntless when Lynn pulls out the beer bottles. These bottles will be rounded up at the end of each night or collected from the bins set aside for items like this, then taken to a different area of Dauntless to be sanitized and sent out for reuse. Even the heavy plastic water bottles are cleaned and reused until they are too worn out, then they are sent off to the Erudite recycling centers.

The homebrews are in the normal dark bottles used for beer that I've seen before tonight. What I hadn't noticed was the subtle differences in the bottles that identify what kinds of beer are in them.

One of the bottles has a raised image of what looked like a bunch of grapes to me, but Tank explained that it's actually raspberries and that is the ingredient that is used for the majority of the brew. The second bottle has lemons, and like the first bottle, this tells me that lemons are heavily used in the brewing. Tank said that one will taste like a lemonade with a bit of a kick. The third and final one is actually the one I'm looking forward to because it has honey used in it. Tank called it a mead, and I recognize that from history books as something that was popular in the medieval age.

I watch as Lynn distributes the liquid out into the cups. Before she would let us have a glass of the punch she wanted us to take a sip of each. Her thought is that the punch might not always be available but these beers are actually made here in Dauntless, so if we are ever out and want a drink, these might be our options.

Lynn pours a bit of each beer in a cup for us to try while the others are looking on as we test them with tentative sips. Out of the three I'm surprised that I don't like the one with honey in it as much as I like the other two. The lemon one is my favorite while Tris likes the raspberry one the best. The mead would be our last option if the other two aren't available.

The punch is still our hands-down winner of the night and Shauna gloats about winning the bet she and Lynn made over what we would like best.

It is a little sweet but it's not overly so. Shauna said that a friend of hers made it for her during a celebration once but that first time it was made with a red wine and was called Sangria. The next time they didn't have any of the wine so instead, they used spiced rum, and from then on they only used that for the punch. Shauna also whispered to my sister and me that she had her friend go easy on the rum for us, so we could drink a couple of glasses if we wanted but wouldn't get drunk.

That was the hope anyway and it actually worked out pretty well. We drank, relaxed and talked, to our friends and with each other, and while we felt a bit of the buzzed feeling we've heard about we did not get drunk.

Tris and I had a bit of privacy during all this and I took the opportunity to tell her what Dad said to me and his message for her too. Her eyes were shining with tears and I swear I could see a weight lift from her shoulders when she heard he wasn't angry or even disappointed, but that he was actually happy and looking forward to seeing us again once we get settled.

She hesitated for a bit after I asked about her visit with mom, then she relayed a few things our mom said that was a mirror of what Dad had said to me. I knew by her hesitation and the way she looked guilty for a second that there was something else she wasn't telling me, something mom said to her, but I couldn't for the life of me think what our mother could have said to my sister that would leave her looking troubled.

Even though Tris is older than me, I've always felt a need to protect and shelter her from all the bad things I know exist in our city. It was even worse when it was so very, very close to home. That instinct is so deeply ingrained within me that it's hard to push it back at times, even when I know that I have to. I know that my sister is strong enough to fight her own battles and stand on her own, she always has been even if that was only because of the strength of her character. Since coming here she's become as strong physically as she has always been in will power and I'm not the only one that sees this about her anymore.

The frustrating part is that she doesn't always see this about herself and what she says in a wistful sigh reminds me of that.

"This is nice." Tris nods her head while watching our friends laugh and joke together with a smile tilting her lips.

I nod and take a sip of my drink, eyeing her and the lurking troubled expression in her own eyes.

"It's a good break from how intense everything has been...how intense it's going to be when it starts up again. I'm not looking forward to finding out the rankings though."

"Why?" She asks me softly with a quirked eyebrow.

"I'm not looking forward to seeing anyone being cut especially when I know there are still people that don't think we belong here no matter how much we've proved them wrong."

She nods and looks into her cup, her lips pressed together in a thin line and her shoulders slumped forward a little. "What if they're not wrong. What if I don't belong anywhere?"

I frown heavily even as I feel anger and worry pulse through me for whatever or whoever has made her doubt herself. "Hey!" I try not to shout even as I take her hand and jerk it to get her attention. When she turns to me I narrow my eyes and look at her with determination. "Do you want to be here, Tris?"

She bites her lip and hesitates for just a second before nodding and responding firmly. "More than anything."

"Then you do belong and you always will, because you choose to. We've always known this is where we want to be." I take a breath and calm myself knowing my next words are going to be risky and trying to find a way to put it without giving anything away. "I think that even if my test had said I belonged somewhere else I wouldn't have cared, I would have still picked Dauntless. And I think that might be why they even give us the choice, to begin with, because someone must have realized that what one test says can't determine how a person should or will live their life."

I can see I'm getting to her so I continue. "I mean, think about it. If the test was so foolproof why wouldn't they just use the result and not give us the choice at all? Why have a choosing ceremony instead of just an announcement ceremony? I think it's because there's much more to picking a faction than just what our aptitudes say we might be most suited to. I think someone must have realized that the fate we choose for ourselves is more likely to be the one we work harder for and are more content with than a fate someone else chooses for us. I know that it's true for me, at least, and I intend to do whatever it takes to make a place for myself here."

Tris looks off into the distance and takes a few slow, deep breaths before nodding and looking back at me. "I belong here and I'm going to do whatever it takes too."

"Good, and just remember that whenever anyone tries to get in your head and make you doubt yourself again."

She smiles and nods at me, but despite the smile and the determination I can see in her eyes, I also see there is something still troubling her. Although it kills me not to know, I realize that until I can come clean to her about my secrets, I can't demand any from her.

****Worth Fighting For****

The dorm is full of the sounds of people dead asleep and oblivious to the fact that I'm slipping out after rushing to dress out like I would for the day then making my bed. It's still early enough to be considered night time by most everyone in Dauntless, but late enough that it's believable for me to say I've been ordered to report for my disciplinary action time earlier than normal.

My alarm went off at the time Zach told me but I continued to lay there for a few more minutes after turning it off and then dozed off. The events of this last week are catching up with me and I think that the enormous adrenaline and serotonin dump I had to my system is finally starting to wear off. I'm sure the drinks didn't help my current state either. While I didn't get drunk I was feeling pretty boneless by the time my head hit the pillow.

When I get out of the door, I breathe a sigh of relief that I don't seem to have woken anyone up, especially my sister. I turn to start down the corridor I know Zach will be waiting for me and practically run into Peter.

"You're late," He hisses, takes my elbow and starts dragging me along with him. I'm about to say something to him about this until I see Zach standing not too far away.

"Why is he here?" I whisper loudly and glare in Peter's direction before looking back at Zach as we come to a stop beside him.

Peter instantly drops the hold he had of my arm. He isn't looking at me or Zach but is staring at a point on the wall with his jaw clenched, and Zach is looking amused as hell for some reason.

"As you two are now a couple," I grumble and Peter winces at the reminder but Zach silences me with a look. "If you're found gone in the middle of the night it would only be logical that he would be too. This adds further protection because it will be assumed you two were off together."

Zach waggles his eyebrows at me, taunting me, and then starts quietly laughing at my dramatic response of groaning and clutching my stomach while I make a soft gagging noise.

Peter glances at me, rolls his eyes at my over the top reaction, and huffs. "Trust me the feeling is mutual, Stiff. You're not exactly my type."

Surprisingly his tone isn't mean or cruel as he says this, in fact, it's kind of amused. We start walking again, and I pretend not to have seen the looks that passed between Zach and Peter or the way the two of them blushed a little before looking away from each other.

Zach asks me why I was late, because that's not like me and I'm usually early if anything, so I had to tell him the truth that I was feeling tired. While he did seem worried he just nodded and said it was to be expected and that hopefully, I could get some rest before the next stage starts. I have a feeling that's his way of telling me that I won't be getting much rest when it does.

We make it to Eric's apartment but Zach has Peter stop a few doors down. "Better keep out of sight, Peter. I'm not terribly sure I've calmed him enough so that he won't try to make good on his promise from earlier."

I look at Zach curiously, wanting to ask what he meant by that, but he's already steering me to the door and shaking his head. Just like the night of my dinner with Eric, he raps on the door, punches in the code and gently pushes me forward after he's opened it. I wave back at him over my shoulder with an amused smile then turn to find Eric's living room has been transformed. The armchairs and coffee table have been moved and are pushed up against the wall with the windows. In their place is a table that almost resembles the exam tables in the doctor's offices I've been at in the past, but this has much thinner padding and is laid completely flat. There's another stand with a tray on top of that that I recognize as one from the tattoo parlor, especially with some of the equipment on top, as well as a couple of stools.

I know Bud is the one doing my tattoo, so I'm not surprised when I find him in the dining room. What I'm surprised about is finding Eric hunched over his dining table doing something in a sketch pad while Bud looks over his shoulder nodding.

"Hey guys," I greet them softly realizing they were too absorbed to notice me standing here.

Bud looks up first, I can tell by the way his eyebrows go into his hairline and the stern look he's giving me before he turns it onto Eric that he wasn't expecting me here at all. Eric straightens up and meets that glare straight on with a blank face.

"Eric, I've told you more times than I can count I could give a shit less about your reputation with the others so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you explain to me why she's in your apartment past curfew and why you didn't just tell me this wasn't for you to start with."

I tense, waiting for Eric to lose his shit on the older man, but he doesn't. He does tense up a little and eyes get a bit colder but he keeps any anger he's feeling in check. "She and I are together, but just like anything else you know about me, that will be kept quiet. She isn't here against her will and I'm not forcing her into anything. She wanted to get this tattoo done and, for obvious reasons, I couldn't go to the parlor with her."

"So all that crap I've heard about you torturing and beating the shit out of her on a daily basis in those punishments you've given her is what? I know it's not all a lie, I've seen the evidence of it myself."

Now Eric's eyes are crinkled at the sides and he's losing a bit of the blankness in his expression, which is a bad sign. The two of them are staring each other down. But it's not either one of the men facing off against each other that finally snaps it's me.

"Hello! You two do know I'm standing right here don't you?" I huff out angrily and plant my hands on my hips as I step closer to them. I take a breath to let him have it but Eric takes a step back towards me and almost moves completely in front of me.

Bud glanced over my way for just a second before looking back at Eric when I'm blocked from his sight. "Yeah, I saw you alright, half-pint. Standing in a leader's apartment after lights out."

I have to crane my neck to look around Eric and catch a glimpse of Bud's lips twitching slightly in amusement.

"The punishments are mostly a cover for us to spend time together. Although, by all rights, her pulling that stunt with getting drunk would have been enough to make them official by itself. I won't lie and say that I don't use them to also get some real training done in them because we do. Kat is more than capable of handling herself and I won't go easy on her just because of our relationship."

There's a tense silence for a few long seconds before Bud lets out a sigh. I can tell he relaxes because Eric does too and I'm finally able to move forward enough to stand beside him to look at Bud.

The older man runs a hand over his face, shaking his head. "You know that if anyone ever finds out about this you're going to catch some major shit, right?"

I bristle and scowl at him. "I don't care. I refuse to live my life worried about what others are saying or to let others opinions dictate who I should be with. My friends will only care that I'm happy. Anyone else can bring their happy asses on and say it to my face and see how much I care about their opinions."

Bud smirks while looking at me shrugs. "Okay then."

"What?" I blink a few times in shock that he gave in so easily and Bud chuckles then moves closer to the table while still keeping an eye on me and Eric.

"Like I told Eric, I don't give a shit about rumors or gossip. I know this isn't something you've been pressured into. You have a good head on your shoulders and seem to be capable of using it. It sounds to me like you've gone into this with your eyes open and that's all I care about."

"Um...thanks?"

Bud nods then taps the table with the sketchbook on it. "You better get on over here and check out the design Eric's drawn up for you and see if there's anything you might want to change about it."

My mouth drops open in shock and my eyes snap over to Eric. He's not looking at me and only knowing him like I do can I tell that it's because he's worried. I move forward and his eyes flick up to me for a second before flicking back down to the paper. I think that he might actually be slightly embarrassed at the moment.

I didn't know Eric could draw and from his reaction, I can tell that he doesn't let hardly anyone know that he can. Now I understand that his asking to be involved in the tattoo was much more than just being able to be here while I get it.

Intrigued and touched I move to stand beside him then get my first real look at what he's created. It only takes one glance before I melt and a well of emotions start to bubble inside me. I reach out and trace over the images as well as the emotions he's captured so masterfully, the tips of my fingers ghosting over the shading and shadows captured from my description alone.

I lean against his side then turn and bury my face in his chest, taking a deep breath before I look up into those blue eyes of his that are full of anxious energy.

I was afraid I might break out into tears but instead I broke out into a smile as I breathed out my words. "It's perfect, Eric."

Eric is now wearing his own heart-melting smile, which just makes mine get wider even as my eyes start to tingle with the threat of tears about to form. He doesn't say anything in return and I know that is because he can't, not with Bud here watching us. He does reach out to cup the side of my face and strokes a thumb across my cheek, his eyes are burning with unspoken words.

"I'd say that got a stamp of approval." Bud mutters then clears his throat behind us and shifts, shuffling some papers around. "Let's check the placement and get started. It's pretty big so it's going to take some time to complete even mostly using the image pads instead of the gun."

He tosses a warning over his shoulder as he makes his way into the kitchen where he has some more equipment set up and laid out.

With him in the kitchen and Eric's body blocking me from sight he leans forward and brushes his lips against my forehead briefly before pulling back with a smile. "Go get changed into something that will let him be able to tattoo the area but keep you covered."

I blush and nod then move quickly to his closet to grab something that will do the job. My blush deepens when I open a drawer that has what I have in mind. I think back to the short conversation I had with Lynn about Eric having clothes for women in his closet and her reaction to that. She was as confused as I was at first but then after a few drinks and some thought she just shrugged and proclaimed that I was overthinking things but the only way to know for sure would be to ask him if the clothes belonged to some other girl, or girls.

Big help she was!

It doesn't take me long to change because I was already wearing a sports bra. The only change I made was slipping on a pair of pajama bottoms that are made of sweatpant material. I also piled my hair on top of my head and secured it into a tighter than normal bun.

When I come out Eric's lips thin a little as he tenses up, narrowing his eyes and looking over my outfit then looking over at Bud and glaring. I laugh softly and shake my head while Bud doesn't even look at either of us, though I can see his lips twitching at the sides in amusement over Eric's protective behavior. When he finally does look at us I can tell it's in approval as he watches Eric help me onto the table and starts explaining how this one is going to go compared to my other tattoos.

The ones behind my ears were small enough that Bud used the tattoo gun that's mostly used for the fine, delicate work. The one on my collarbone and back was using a combination of the image pads and the gun for the finishing details. This larger one will use the combination as well but will probably have to be done in sections.

For this tattoo, I have to lay on my side so that the area that's being worked on is freely accessible. The way Eric designed the tattoo the majority of it is actually on my side but it wraps around the back and front in certain places. Part of what he managed to do with his design was to blend the scars into it in a way that didn't hide them so much as make them look part of the tattoo.

Bud's touch hesitates over the first ridge of scarring but I can't see his expression since my back is to him. I am facing Eric though, he's perched on his own stool close enough for me to reach out to him if I need to, and I see his lips thin then giving Bud a terse nod.

"Kat," Bud's voice rumbles gruffly from behind me and I know from the fact that he's using my name and not the nickname he's given me that he's in a serious mode right now. "Rib tattoos in the most perfect of conditions are painful as hell but we all know that you have a few things that are going to make this even worse. I know you usually turn down the cream and I'm normally fine with that, but this time I'm going to have to insist on it."

My hackles and temper start to stir, kicking in that stubbornness that makes me want to refuse just because I hate being dictated to on what I can or cannot handle on my own.

"Kitten," Eric whispers my name and leans forward while I hear Bud moving away.

"I'm not doing it, Eric. I was fine before…"

"Yeah, well shit happens, Kat." He snaps out, interrupting me. He stops and takes a breath then brushes his hand over my face, moving strands of hair that have managed to work their way out of my bun and into my eyes. " Look, I know I can be overbearing about keeping you from being in pain or getting hurt, but the reality is that this thing isn't something you can ignore or power your way through. You have to prepare for and deal with it, and you can't do that if you let your pride get in the way. You're the strongest person I know, but your weakness is that you have a tendency to do yourself more harm just to prove you aren't weak."

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to find something that I can use to argue against then huff in annoyance when I realize not only is there no opening to argue but that I don't really want to. I don't want to admit that I'm already in a bit of pain because I could just see the two of these men saying I can't get the damn tattoo at all.

"Fine." I finally seethe out. "Use the damn cream."

"Thank you, kitten," Eric whispers softly, leaning in to kiss me softly before pulling back and calling over to Bud and informing him to grab the cream. When he looks back at me he's smirking.

"You're an ass, Eric Coulter." I mutter moodily.

He laughs loudly, head thrown back and chest shaking, then he looks back at me smirking even harder and shrugs and repeats the words he said the first time I dared to call him that.

"I know. An ass who's completely right...but yeah, I'm an ass."

My lips twitch around the snarl I try to keep on my lips and Bud chuckles as he starts to spread the cream all over my side. No one in the room mentions that my body relaxes as soon as it absorbs the topical anesthetic or that I can't fully disguise my sigh of relief. Neither do we mention that Eric seems to mimic that gesture or that he breaks his normally stoic demeanor and reaches for my hand where it stays with mine curled into his for the entire time.

There is talk between us, though it starts to become mostly Bud and Eric talking as I drift in and out of sleep. It's fitting that the images that come to me during my dozing are the ones that are being inked onto my skin. It's even more fitting that anytime my eyes drift open again I find his eyes on me, watching over me protectively, and a sleepy smile curls on my lips.