Send good vibes, guys, I am not okay.

Chapter content warnings: underage drinking; swearing; underage sex; mildly explicit content; infidelity

Don't forget that you can find me on tumblr: we - are - all - of - legend - now and that my ao3 account is wearealloflegendnow (even though I haven't posted there yet)!

~TLL~

Trixie shoved through the throng of party-goers, not quite cursing her friends aloud but definitely muttering under her breath about it. How was she going to be at a party with both of her so-called best friends and then end up alone at the keg? They were all going to get a piece of her mind in the morning, if not tonight, that was for sure.

Trixie filled her cup then leant against the wall, just watching. There weren't very many faces that she recognized from her own school and even the ones that she did recognize, she felt no real need to go and talk to. She gave a little nod to people when they walked past, distracting herself from her anger by wondering what they were thinking about her. Trixie knew a lot of people just thought she was a cold person in general and she often did nothing to convince them otherwise. Right now, though, Trixie guessed that they probably thought she was lonely. And that was one of the reasons that she didn't talk to any of them; her own company was more than enough for her, even as she was seething about being ditched.

"Hey, cutie."

Trixie rolled her eyes. Her own company was definitely better than someone who would open with a line like that.

Trixie didn't turn her head to look at him. Instead, she took a long sip from her red solo cup, paused dramatically, and then drawled, "how original."

"I like your hair."

"Even more original." Trixie forced herself to keep her gaze pointed forward, already forming the person next to her in her head. Boring, white private school fuckboy who just wanted to touch her dreads. She was out of patience. "Thanks, anyway."

"Hey, come on. I'm sorry; I don't know how to talk to girls."

It was the hint of an accent that made Trixie pause and then turn around. Maybe if he wasn't a boring white boy, he deserved more of a chance. Her eyes swept over him once, twice, and then a third time. He wasn't someone that Trixie thought that she would find attractive. Sure, he had the basics: he was tall, he had muscles, and a jaw that could cut glass. His tanned skin was complimented by his dark brown eyes and black hair. But, the studded belt, the skinny jeans, the nails painted black were all things that she thought would be a turn-off for her. Even the swooped hair that was so 2008 that Trixie rolled her eyes instinctively. Yet, packaged like this guy was, looking at her with such sincerity and intensity, Trixie felt like she'd been socked in the stomach. Was this breathlessness? Was this love at first sight?

"My name's Kyle," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Is that a better start?"

He had very nice shoulders and before she could think too much about it, Trixie started nodding. "Yeah, I think that's a better start."

"Great." Kyle grinned, his perfect smile interrupted by the snake bite piercings in his lips and, when he spoke, Trixie caught the flash of a tongue ring. "So, what's your name?"

"Trixie." Oh yeah, she was definitely starstruck. It was like she could see little cartoon hearts circling his head already. "Want to get me a drink?"

Kyle reached forward, taking the empty cup from her hand. His hands were large and impossibly warm as his fingers brushed hers. "I'd love to get you a drink."

Trixie giggled, smitten, as she looped her arm through his, even though the keg was only a few short steps away.

"So, what brings you here?" Kyle asked. "I don't think I've seen you around."

"Oh, Rose invited me," Trixie said. "You know her?"

"Yeah, St. Catherine's is our sister school."

Trixie laughed, accepting another beer from Kyle. "You look like that and go to a private school?"

"Well, I look a little different out of these clothes," Kyle paused dramatically before adding, "and into the uniform."

"And who says you don't know how to talk to girls?"

"I did, like, two minutes ago."

Trixie laughed again. "Do you want to go downstairs and dance?"

"Nah," Kyle said, his eyes burrowing into hers, making Trixie feel seen, "I'd rather go find somewhere to sit and talk."

"Talk?"

"Yeah. I can break out all of my one-liners and you can tell me how bad they are."

Well, that did sound like Trixie's idea of a good time, even if there was a dance floor going to waste.

"All right, deal, let's go talk."

(-.-)

"Shut up."

Spud nearly choked on his tongue as he swallowed whatever he'd been about to say. Stacey's mouth covered his and her hands shoved his under her shirt. Spud pressed into her, touching her with the same breathless need that she was touching him with. Her hands slid between their bodies, her hands going to the fly of his pants.

"I want to fuck you," Stacey said, "Right now."

"I'll fuck you. I'll do anything you want me to."

Stacey pulled her shirt over her head and Spud stared at her black lace bra. Had he ever seen anything more perfect than Stacey in a black lace bra?

"I don't want to hear you speak," Stacey said. "I'm just here for your dick."

Well, that Spud could do. He mimed sealing his lips, ignoring her eye roll. Then, he dropped his pants. He had enough tequila in him that he didn't feel a moment of insecurity about someone new seeing him partially naked but, luckily, not so much that he wasn't going to be able to close this deal. Stacey licked her lips and then sunk to her knees.

Spud closed his eyes as she touched him, grateful for house parties and locked doors.

(-.-)

"What did I just do?" Lily whispered, picking her shirt up off the floor and then sinking down on the ottoman in Marcia's room. "I have a boyfriend! That I cheated on! With a girl! And I'm not even into girls!"

"Well, three of those statements are definitely true," Marcia said.

Lily couldn't bring herself to look at Marcia, even though the purr of her voice was even more alluring now.

"What do I do? What do I say? I have to tell him, right?"

"That's up to you." Marcia sat next to Lily on the ottoman and the touch of her skin and the smell of her perfume made Lily feel alive.

"It's a relationship. I have to be honest."

Marcia laughed. "Honey, that's not true. It's why I don't do relationships. Boys like, girls lie, non-binary people lie. Especially in relationships. It makes things easier."

Lily felt lost and sheltered again. Marcia just seemed to know so much more and Lily had no idea how to gain that knowledge. She admitted, "I don't understand."

"It would have been easier if Jake had just lied to you and said he loved how you looked, right?"

"Right. Then none of this would have happened and things would be the same as they were."

"Maybe or maybe it would have delayed the inevitable. Look, I'm not saying straight people don't have gay sex or whatever but if you really don't know if you're lesbian or straight or bi or ace or pan or whatever, don't you owe it to yourself to figure it out?"

Lily didn't even know what ace meant. The world was so much larger than she had ever stopped to think about. "Do I have to figure it out by myself?"

"No." Marcia's hand was back on Lily's thigh and Lily welcomed the touch and the comfort that she was not alone. "I'll be with you. We're just not going to tell Rose."

Lily's eyes bulged; she hadn't even thought about the fact that she was with her twin's best friend. "No, we're not."

Wait, did that mean she had made up her mind not to tell Jake, either? If Lily woke up in the morning and realized that this was all just a mistake and that she was just drinking beer for the first time in her life and that kissing girls wasn't something that she ever wanted to do again, she would have ruined everything for nothing. Was that right? Was that fair? Everything was overwhelming and she was just trying not to cry. She couldn't keep crying.

"So, I'll give you my number and you can call or text me about anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Never forget that none of this makes you a bad person. And it doesn't mean Jake's a bad person either but, also, think about how long we've been up here. Jake hasn't come looking for you either."

Lily hadn't thought of it. In fact, aside from a few scattered thoughts at the beginning and the end, she hadn't thought much about Jake since Marcia had found her in the bathroom. It made Lily feel less guilty that Jake was having a good time without her.

Marcia stood from the ottoman and then bent down, kissing Lily soppily. Lily pressed up into the kiss.

"Go put on some lip gloss that's not mine and meet me downstairs," Marcia ordered. "No more hiding; we're doing hot girl shit."

Lily nodded and then watched Marcia leave the room. Then, she stumbled from the ottoman and back into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. If the makeup had made her look transformed, tonight had just transformed her. Lily could see the differences in just how she was standing. She was a little more confident, a little more worldly, and a little more self-assured.

Lily grabbed a lip gloss tube from the bathroom counter and applied it like she'd always known what to do with it.

Lily was ready for hot girl shit.

(-.-)

Rose stared down at her phone, realizing that she was much drunker than she had planned to be as the letters rearranged themselves. She squinted until things stared to make sense to her and then she groaned aloud. No, not tonight. But, she had her summons. Four A.M. Well, she wasn't going to get sober in the next three hours so she might as well keep on having fun.

"Rose! Your turn!"

Rose dropped her phone at the sound of Trixie's voice. She refocused on the circle that she was sitting in now, wedged between Jake and Landon from St. Catherine's brother school. Trixie was sitting across the circle with Kyle Wilkins while Danika and Courtney had to shift out of the way as Marcia took her place between them.

"Um, okay, never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

To no one's surprise, Marcia chugged at the cup in her hand and then burped loudly, like the lady she was. "Oops. Gotta go get another."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Okay, your go, Jake."

Jake was paying even less attention to the circle than Rose had been but not to his phone. Rose looked up to see Lily finally coming downstairs, more than dishevelled from her several hours long crying jag. She teetered across the living room only to slide in between Rose and Jake.

"Hey," Lily said, turning her back completely on Rose.

"Never have I ever needed to apologize to my girlfriend more."

Rose rolled her eyes as Jake drained his cup. "I need more beer. Jake?"

He handed over his cup.

"Lily?"

"Sure," Lily said, "I'll take a beer."

And end up puking in Jake's lap, Rose thought, but she didn't say it. Instead, she went and started pouring more beer from the keg for Jake and Lily, deciding on a whim that she was going to stick to the harder stuff, herself. She was in the middle of deciding between vodka and rum when she watched Stacey and Spud stumble out of one of the back bedrooms.

"Nice lipstick, Spud."

"War paint," he joked, while Stacey mimed throwing up. "Isn't that right?"

"Get away from me," Stacey ordered.

Spud lifted the red solo cup that was supposed to be for Lily and exited the room. Stacey stared Rose down.

"You stole my tequila."

"It was Marcia's tequila. And, I won it."

Stacey didn't look impressed. "I'm going to make you pay."

Like Rose could ever be scared of Stacey. But, she'd play along. Rose had never had a problem with Stacey, as they'd never really spoken.

"How?"

"I'm gonna make us both a swamp water shot and if you don't puke, we're square."

It was one of the dumbest things that Rose had ever heard but she nodded along. What did she care? She only had one of the worst meetings she was ever going to have coming up in the god-awful predawn hours. She could stand to be a little drunker, even if the combination of Jägermeister, Kahlua, and Captain Morgan made Rose curl her lips. At least their shots were the same; it made her respect Stacey a little more.

As Stacey prepped, Rose asked, "So, Spud?"

"What about him?"

Some of the tough girl exterior had gone out of Stacey's voice.

"What were you doing?"

Stacey chuckled. "Rose, we both know I sleep with a lot of people. Same way Brad does. Same way you do."

Rose didn't react.

"The sound of Spud's voice makes me want to chop off my ears but that was the best sex of my entire life. Get in on that tongue. Actually, no, don't. I'm gonna keep him my secret."

Rose accepted her shot from Stacey and couldn't resist sliding in, "Someone had to train him."

"Was it you?" Stacey asked and they clinked their shot glasses together.

"Ha! No. I just met him."

They took the shots and, though they both grimaced, neither of them immediately ran off to be sick.

"Well," Stacey said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, "I guess we're on good terms."

"I guess so."

Rose gathered up the drinks that she had promised to the Never Have I Ever circle and returned to the game, although most people were a little too gone to be actually interested in playing. Once Stacey came for Tracey and Lacey to go back home, the crowd start to thin. Spud and Trixie left together, Marcia shooed out some couples who were trying to hook up in one of the bedrooms, and it felt like so many other Saturday nights that Rose had ever had. It made her sad, standing in Marcia's familiar living room, knowing that she was going to go upstairs, strip off her shoes and her make-up and fall asleep in Marcia's bed like she had so many times before. But, when she woke up, she wasn't going to go home hungover to her house where Nicholas and Kyle would tease her until she threatened to tell their father about how much the two boys spent on weed in a week. If she were anyone else, it would be more than enough to bring her to her knees.

As it was, Rose joined Marcia in the kitchen. Jake and Lily were saying their goodbyes in the foyer and Rose didn't want to hear whatever they were saying to each other.

"What did you do tonight?" Marcia asked as they slumped against the counter, drinking the last of the keg.

"Dancing. Stealing tequila. Taking shots with Stacey who slept with Spud," Rose recapped. "What about you? Break any hearts or relationships or whatever it is you do?"

Marcia grinned wickedly, the thrill of the chase apparent in her brown eyes. "You know, I love straight girls who aren't actually straight."

"You've said that once or twice," Rose murmured, more focused on the fact that the last of the keg was in her cup. "How hurt is the boyfriend?"

"He doesn't know yet."

"How illicit," Rose drawled. "Your favourite."

"Damn straight."

"Damn gay," Rose fired back and Marcia nearly collapsed with laughter.

"Fuck, I love you," Marcia snorted, throwing her arm around Rose's shoulders. "Hey, you're going to be in school on Monday, right? Not parents can afford the tuition?"

"Dad paid through the year so not parents are not going to pull me." The thought was too sobering and she shook off Marcia's arm. "Shots, now."

"Ooh, I love it when you're bossy."

"Shut up." Rose looked up as Lily came back into the kitchen. Rose didn't have it in her to be a bitch anymore. Not when there was only three of them and they were all drunk and it was this late. Nothing counted at this hour of the morning. "Lily, vodka?"

Lily blinked. "Yeah, sure. I guess. I can probably handle it."

"It's Marcia's house. She's the one handling your vomit," Rose said, grabbing another shot glass.

"Bodily fluids don't make me squeamish," Marcia bragged. "So, Lily, how's Jake? Did you kiss and make up?"

"We're fine," Lily said. "Not, um, like we were before but close enough, for now."

"Uh-huh," Rose said, because the thought of Jake and Lily dating made her actively angry right now, even though she knew it was the tequila and the beer and the swamp water shot and the more beer and the vodka and her impending anxieties.

"Did you see the text from Mom?"

The word 'Mom' made Rose gnash her teeth together and she put the shots down with more clatter than necessary. "They'll pick us up tomorrow; we're not to drive home."

"Are they saying I can't drive?" Marcia snorted.

"Right now or ever?" Rose said, "because my answer's the same."

"You haven't died yet," Marcia pointed out.

"It's the yet that's concerning here, you understand that, right?"

Rose nudged their shots toward them and they all took their last bit of liquor. Then, Rose helped Marcia do one last lap of the house to make sure they hadn't missed someone passed out on top of the washer. When they were sure that they were the only three, Rose and Marcia locked the door and went upstairs. Lily was already passed out in the guest bedroom upstairs, fully clothed with her make-up still on.

"She's going to break out in the morning," Rose said.

"I'm not going to wake her up to fix it. Are you?"

Rose snorted. "I'm not her keeper. Come on."

Rose followed Marcia into her room where they took off their make-up, changed into their pyjamas, and Rose got into bed. Marcia meticulously went about her room and turned on the five fans that she always said that she couldn't sleep with out, setting them to the perfect angles. Then, she flopped face first into the bed, burrowing herself in a blanket.

"See you in the morning, Rose."

"See you in the morning."

Rose set her watch to wake her up in an hour, trying to take a nap in what little time that she had left. It proved impossible, though, and she just stared at the ceiling until the phone began to vibrate. Rose's head and body ached as she sat up, stripping off her pyjamas and changing into the dark clothes that she never went anywhere without. She crept into the hall and down the stairs, knowing that she could start banging cymbals as she went and Marcia and Lily wouldn't stir. Rose grabbed a water bottle to take with her, as if that was going to save her, and then pulled her mask over her face. She fumbled her way through the streets and was the last one to reach their meeting spot, though she was usually the first.

"Hello, Father," Rose said, trying not to slur or fall over. Kyle snuck to her side, putting his shoulder under her arm to try and help her steady.

"Hello, Daughter," he said with a sigh. "Are you drunk?"

"It would seem so."

Theron shook his head. "You can't –"

"I'm not listening," Rose said, the drinks making her brave. "Besides, these two are stoned all the time. I get one night. I've been through a lot."

When they were in uniform, Rose knew that they weren't supposed to be this casual. That was reserved for home time, where they were a family and they could use their names. Any other night, calling him 'Father' would likely have gotten her in trouble but tonight wasn't like any other night. Despite the rules and the stern expectations that were always in her Father's eyes, Rose wasn't surprised when she was pulled into a tight hug, Nicholas and Kyle crowding in too. Roe breathed a sigh of relief. As nice as Carl and Melinda were, as much as Lily wanted them all to be a family, this was actually what family felt like to Rose. Her strange little family, all in their uniforms, where they weren't even supposed to speak each other's names, let alone admit relation to each other. But, she was a daughter and a sister, always. Of course they would hug her now.

"You didn't do it, did you?" The alcohol still buzzing in her veins slipped out the words that Rose had been so intent on not asking.

"Do what?" Theron asked.

"Steal me." Rose leant back, looking up at his masked face, feeling her brothers flank her sides. "Steal us."

"No. Never," he swore. "Not a single one of you. You know your mother would have never allowed it."

Rose reached out to her sides, taking Kyle's and Nicholas's hands. She had wanted to believe in her father but she had to believe in her mother. They had all been so loved. If Lily Dawson had never come storming out of the woodwork, Rose never would have doubted that. Rose was ashamed for doubting it now.

"The police will clear me because I did nothing wrong," Theron continued. "And then you will all come home."

"Do you know when?" Kyle asked.

"No but I'm hoping as soon as possible. The house is far too empty."

Rose's heart ached for her room and her brothers' noise and French Toast Fridays. Her entire old life, really. But, there was no just stepping back into it. If she tried, she knew that this life would be there to haunt it.

"And then what happens?" Nicholas asked. "To clear you, they'll have to find all of our birth families, right? What do we do?"

"Whatever you decide," Theron said. "Your mother and I agreed when we adopted you that we were never going to make a single decision for you."

Kyle and Nicholas elbowed one another around Rose. Theron's watchful eye missed nothing.

"Well, at least where your biological family is concerned." Theron sighed. "I'm sorry all those choices were taken from you."

"This is my family!" It wasn't enough to release everything that was inside her and, so, Rose let out a high pitched scream. She waited for her father to admonished her and tell her that she was just drunk and that they didn't act like this.

Theron didn't, because he knew her and because he was a good father.

So, Rose threw her head back and screamed again. She heard Kyle, then Nicholas, and then even Theron join her in just howling at the sky. Under her mask, tears streamed down Rose's face. How was it possible that she didn't belong her? That rather than being surrendered by a teen mom who wanted better for herself or a woman who had a one night stand and didn't want to keep the baby or someone who simply just couldn't afford another mouth to feel, that she had been stolen?

When she was little, her mother used to tease her about how she first saw Rose in a department store window and had run right inside to get her. "How much is that baby in the window?" she'd sing and tickled Rose's stomach and Rose would giggle every time. She was more than old enough to know that the story wasn't true but it was still the story that she most wanted to believe.

With her grief spent for the moment, Rose sagged forward, then straightened up. They hadn't been summoned from their beds for nothing. Recognizing her battle stance, Nicholas and Kyle immediately stopped goofing around with each other and mimicked her posture. Before she could open her mouth, Theron grasped her shoulder.

"Not tonight. Not anything like that tonight. I just needed to see you all, without any of the lawyers or the police knowing. I just needed you to know that I love you and I am your father and there is not a single thing in the world that could ever change that."

Knowing that she spoke for them all – as Rose always did for her brothers, she replied, "we love you too, Father."

Then, they all sat side by side, along the edge of the rooftop, with nothing but their companionship, as the night faded away.